the rapidly dwindling sanity of valve programmers as expressed through code comments

||| code courtesy of the tf source leak |||
Music: Hall of the Mountain King
channel discord --- / discord
channel patreon --- / shounic
channel tracker --- trello.com/b/L3B65jUX
[ todo list / current progress on upcoming videos / channel roadmap ]
feedback --- forms.gle/bkuGF6attQrRPc6o9
custom files --- pastebin.com/raw/e32aG4nP
[ hud / crosshairs / hitsound / killsound / gfx cfg ]
FAQ:
Q: How did you make that? What editing software do you use?
A: I use Adobe Photoshop, Premiere Pro & After Effects. Photoshop for image editing and thumbnails. Premiere Pro for compositing and After Effects for motion graphics (the fancy animations).

[@shounic]

i made a follow up video looking at the code they wrote in more depth :) kzbin.info/www/bejne/il6loHeNZsRshpY

[@tev5040]

gamer.gaming

[@KiraPlaysGuitar]

ning

[@GoldenDuck0]

KiraPlaysGuitar wtf i was literally just thinking about this comment 3 seconds ago for no reason, and then you reply

[@KiraPlaysGuitar]

@@GoldenDuck0 Here for you man.

[@zerlichr426]

To add even more fun to it. Basicly Source engine is invented kinda sorta from orignial half life engine. so we have 22 years of bad code from this year

[@TheZigzagman]

"My hope is that this code is so awful that I'm never allowed to write UI code again." The true master knows the best code is the lines you don't write.

[@Kabodanki]

Complexity hidden behind level of abstractions

[@adrher1999]

Sounds as what I'd like my future to be. So awfully programmed that I'm not allowed to program ever again

[@Copyright_Infringement]

This code. So beaütiful. It's the code he's not writing.

[@Szszymon14]

Explain that second statement please.

[@SenhorAlien]

@@Szszymon14 your code can't be shit if you never write it. Alternatively; it could be the best code ever, until you start working on it, then it becomes noticeable it's not.

[@anarchyanddinosaurs4226]

Random programmer: "I want to die" *some other programmer across the room:* "Too bad!"

[@cookiethecraftycat9439]

"Die() is programmed so awfully that it just doesn't work, Too bad!"

[@theapexsurvivor9538]

@@cookiethecraftycat9439 Programmer: *forcibly executes anyway* "Hey you, you're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border? Walked right into that imperial ambush, like us and that thief over there."

[@leeterthanyou]

@@cookiethecraftycat9439 this gave me PHP flashbacks

[@GothAlice]

I've actually encountered some difficulty with keybinds to kill() (suicide) failing. Glad I found explode(). 😽 (And yes, some of the Quake World legacy is strong in Valve codebases. It's shocking the things that haven't changed in 20+ years: bunny hopping-out-of-order application of physics rules resulting in zero-friction momentary contact-and "skiing"-strafe movement interaction with invalid surface friction values-are bugs. 👹)

[@sauercrowder]

@@GothAlice They actually probably are not true bugs. Valve deliberately modeled these games after Quake and wanted to leave some stuff like this in because it raises the skill ceiling. Edit: I say that but they do seem to have had a bit of a shift in attitude since they fixed a lot of this kind of stuff in CS:GO

[@finsflexin]

What’s easier to do: - Move a box a little to the left in TF2. - Rebuild all of TF2’s source code.

[@DinnerForkTongue]

They're the same task.

[@joltz..2042]

​@@DinnerForkTongue... too bad!

[@ComfortsSpecter]

@@DinnerForkTongue… *Crying*

[@_GhostMiner]

Center a div

[@chrisvalentine4190]

Omg yes how do you do that?

[@gilliandaemon1788]

People who dont know how to code : "What the fuck am I looking at?" People who made the code : "What the fuck am I looking at?"

[@andi_decha]

modern c++

[@sgserheswrgawrh5745]

As a fresh grad i hope to god there's some truth to this...

[@andi_decha]

@@sgserheswrgawrh5745 std::hope or write it yourself in c :)

[@r.pizzamonkey7379]

"todo this is dumb" "this is a stupid fix, but I don't have time for a cleaner implementation" this is pretty much how 80% of my comments look

[@josephpentony4804]

Same here, but there is also a large amount of TODO

[@bobdole776thegreat]

Lol comments, what are those? I never would comment shit and always would suffer the consequences later because of it, that or my comments were pure idiocy that no one including myself would understand after some time would pass. I may have a BS in computer science but fuck I suck at coding TBH...

[@woffyreal]

@Oshabot 16 no one asked. todo in this situation means to-do

[@woffyreal]

@Oshabot 16 people who say that are either stupid, or lonely.

[@woffyreal]

@Oshabot 16 where did smash bros come from

[@jerryanderson8116]

"This seems like a bad idea but it's fine for now." The sheer chaotic energy from that one statement is astounding.

[@gabemerritt3139]

It perfectly captures the feeling of coding something that just barely works.

[@xiopia3940]

Me when I ctrl c and ctrl v all the answers into a word doc

[@MrBryan-hr1rp]

Coding in a nutshell is pure chaos

[@deliriousjason8133]

Sounds exactly like what someone would say right before a disaster.

[@noir4762]

"This is fine"

[@JesseMcCullough]

"Yes, this causes a memory leak. Too bad!" Five lines later... "Actually, we need two memory leaks..." LMAO

[@flawer1316]

when its so bad that you need two memory leaks to fix something.

[@lial4357]

Also like, this is c++, surely you could've used a shared_ptr or something so you wouldn't have to worry about cleaning stuff up? (Unless they aren't in control over the code that uses the new'd stuff, or that code is written in C)

[@roetemeteor]

@@lial4357 most of the stuff comes from Team Fortress 2, so that piece of shit is so spaghettified so badly that even attempting to do what you're suggesting could potentially break everything. Most likely, that is the dumbest thing they've ever thought of for a solution, but it works and it's the only thing that works.

[@zachhanson3794]

@@roetemeteor also, this MIGHT be inherited code that they commented over from older source games (which has inherited code from Quake) at some point you can't fix everything especially if you don't know how or why stuff is happening and half the code is written by a guy who is not even in the industry anymore

[@O5680]

The trick is to stop counting them and simply ignore them. If you ignore them, they cease to exist.

[@akaiappears]

"I don't know why, I don't want to know why, I shouldn't have to wonder why but for whatever reason this stupid panel isn't laying out correctly unless we do this terribleness." Text you can feel

[@FizzieWebb]

I like to think that with each fragment, the coder is slowly raising their voice. "I don't know why, I don't WANT to know why, I SHOULDN'T have to WONDER WHY, BUT FOR WHATEVER REASON THIS STUPID PANEL ISN'T LAYING OUT CORRECTLY UNLESS WE DO THIS *TERRIBLENESS* !"

[@aqua2k210]

@@FizzieWebb Having hung out in a room of programmers this is probably how the message it meant to be read.

[@MisterFribble]

CSS in a nutshell right there.

[@paulduchamp4736]

@@MisterFribble then you add java and the entire website is now going on a walk

[@alicorn3924]

read "I don't know why" and my brain defaulted to that source animation of Linkin Park

[@foxgood5173]

"My hope is that this code is so awful I'm never allowed to write UI code again." is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Whoever that poor programmer is, I hope they have a chance to do some comedy writing.

[@404_coffee9]

Same good sir xd

[@bloodstoneore4630]

I have to agree

[@Nikapocalypse]

This is how my mom swears she got out of having to do the dishes as a kid.

[@bertrollt8386]

Well, I hate writing UI Code myself aswell, so I can totally relate to that.

[@magetsalive5162]

Well. I, for one, hope that poor programmer got their wish and never had to write UI code ever again.

[@WonderlandWarGaming]

*"// My hope is that this code is so awful I'm never allowed to write UI code again."*

[@Toleich]

I can relate.

[@monarchblue4280]

#relatable

[@chrono0097]

That's me everytime i have to write any UI code in Js

[@SenkouNoMahimeEne]

Honestly, that may be the best, most backwards way to say "i quit" that ive seen in a while.

[@RolandTheJabberwocky]

Really felt that one and I dont even code

[@corey1054]

"It looks terrible but it will work for now. I'll work on a cleaner way of doing it later" *Never cleans it up* >Basically every programmer ever

[@user-rj2jx8sh9q]

"This doesn't work. Has I ever?" code was too bad the guy had an existential crisis

[@wedmunds]

Pretty sure he meant "has it ever [worked]", but he's SO FED UP that he couldn't be bothered to spell correctly anymore

[@natasreitx6853]

"Error at line 4276..." "But my code is only 2000 lines long" "Too bad!"

[@monochromeart7311]

so it must be an error in one of the libraries you're using

[@abujasm2223]

Your thumbnail really makes this comment! LOL!

[@shaunn6971]

??????

[@kain4892]

@@monochromeart7311 that made me physically cringe from ptsd from when I tried to get some obscure old program in Python that didn't even have an executable. I had to download like 15 different libraries and plugins just to get it too work, some of which I where so broken that when I tried to fix them everything else started to break And my friends still wonder why I specifically avoid python

[@monochromeart7311]

@@kain4892 I personally like Python, but seriously your situation is just fucked up (almost as much as the hentai that I read, don't judge)..... I don't even bother accessing libraries to fix issues with them

[@no-lifenoah7861]

The reason TF2 never gets updates anymore is because the developers take one look at the source code and immediately vomit.

[@aribsa]

And there are also less than 10 programmers it would be hard to make an update with so little people

[@jopheonholzorf]

They fired the only programmer that didn't comment his code, but magically went to the master brach.

[@no-lifenoah7861]

@@aribsa see, that's the joke

[@Peacock__]

I didn't know potted plants could vomit

[@Ribbons0121R121]

fitting how its code vomit

[@1Maklak]

Hey, at least they wrote comments. One of my past bosses, who studied mathematics, forced the practice of "self commenting code", whatever the hell that is. Basically, writing comments was banned and everyone had to guess what it does from variable and function names. There was even a script that removed comments and formatted code in a way that took more space. Then ex-boss got combative when a client complained that we wrote poor code, because there were no comments anywhere. Well, one good practice I learned was to start all column names in database with a three letter abbreviation of table name, so every column name in the entire database was unique.

[@nisnast]

I feel bad for whoever had to revisit that code

[@aqua2k210]

Thats a creative way to work around the problem.

[@vibaj16]

let comment23 = "This is technically self-commenting code";

[@MichaelJames-md6vb]

If there's anything you really should avoid in programming and in life, it's dogma

[@Kreze202]

Self commenting code is actually a good guideline. Banning comments altogether on the other hand...

[@DoctorCyan]

TF2 has such a good sense of humor, it’s literally written into it’s code.

[@leethenpc7683]

"There's nothing more permanent than a temporary solution" rings especially true for programmers.

[@benjamincrew1949]

I've heard so many horror stories of coming back to disorganized, uncommented code after years. I've done it myself and wondered how I could write something so atrocious.

[@geli95us]

@@benjamincrew1949 "What was the moron who wrote this thinking!? Oh wait, it was me..."

[@calebkirschbaum8158]

If it is there for 10 seconds, it can be removed. If it has been there for an hour it is there permanently.

[@obeyjuancannoli7120]

Benjamin Crew There’s an IGN video where devs react to a Half Life 2 speedrun. In it, they talk a little about how bad the code was when they had to reopen it to make Source 2. In their words: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”

[@tacokoneko]

when this happens comment it, open bug reports in response to your own changes, and create the permanent solutions when refactoring later

[@themassagechair6785]

// When I wrote this, only God and I knew what it did. // Now only God knows....

[@Xidphel]

//Now not even God knows....

[@TheGloriousLobsterEmperor]

This is the greatest comment yet.

[@Callie_Cosmo]

//eventually, if this game has a good enough following, someone will fix this eventually. If not, TOO BAD!

[@FierDragon]

This is like top ten comments of all time

[@minimalgrammar1276]

r/cursedcomments

[@higashikatajosuke9324]

"This seems like a bad idea but it's fine for now." Well well, the one sentence that sums up all of my life's choices.

[@madamada7458]

"This can't be good for me but I feel great!"

[@brutalbucket5507]

@@madamada7458POSTAL MENTIONED!!!!! RAHHHHHHHHH RAHHHHHHHHHH! THE DUDE THE DUDE THE DUDE THE DUDE THE DUDE THE DUDE THE DUDE THE DUDE THE DUDE THE DUDE THE DUDE THE DUDE. COULD YOU SIGN MY PETITION?!?!?!!??!

[@bouncydachon]

I think it would be easier to completely redo tf2’s code than to try and fix it “That was a joke lads”

[@Forcoy]

it wouldn't

[@dakogiotini1993]

Nope

[@krasistefanovlol]

Honestly would be better for fixing bugs and maybe even getting rid of the source spaghetti monster

[@basedokadaizo]

"are ya codin', son?" valve programmers: "unfortunately, yes"

[@rafasilva1265]

Arrre you coding son? Unforrrtunately, UI

[@nicolascardozo9236]

the grandpa: "Too bad!"

[@TheUltimateRiku]

More like literally any coder

[@thesecretkey9845]

Dad: Are ya codin' son? Son: There is no god

[@relativelylucky1454]

Valve programmers: “yes, but actually no”

[@renn654]

Hidden gem at 01:21 - When your code is so f***ed up that you actually need two memory leaks in order to keep shit at balance.

[@reksie7816]

I was so puzzled by this. Why'd you ever need more memory leaks?

[@IbrahimKhan-ix9vt]

@@reksie7816 don't question it

[@monkeyrobotsinc.9875]

@@IbrahimKhan-ix9vt lmfao

[@ganii1804]

two wrongs make a right

[@xCorvus7x]

@Daniel Wong first line of the paragraph below the one that is read aloud

[@Puffie40]

1:02 - this simultaneously tells you where the programmers sanity is starting to break, while perfectly embodying the mentality of debugging software while being faced with confusing logic.

[@eeeguba432]

"Its ok, for now" *over a decade later*

[@eeeguba432]

too bad

[@oscarglad5284]

too bad

[@arandomzoomer4837]

Coders in movies: Extremely cool, hacking into secret organizations, able to make any computer do what they want. Actual coders:

[@deisk2707]

Thats how we all do kids! Just to suffer all the different kinds of errors

[@ramue5749]

Actual coders: (Internal screaming.)

[@8bitpixelbreakin]

@@ramue5749 Too bad!

[@prophetoftru7h]

System.out.println("made it to this stupid fucking code block");

[@matlatpower7472]

Google is a programmer's best friend.

[@Rowrin]

"Nothing is more permanent than a temporary solution."

[@vegetablesaregoodforyou7008]

It's sad how accurate this is.

[@MrSpruce]

I’ve heard a similar version: “Nothing is more permanent than temporary government policy.”

[@GewelReal]

Too bad!

[@forloop7713]

@@MrSpruce thisis now very relevant

[@mq5731]

@Nicefisher Sometimes you wonder how something held together by duct tape and chewing gum, made in a rushed panic, survives long enough for the guy who originally made it to be long gone.

[@justeunviewer906]

God writing my DNA be like :

[@cats3822]

DNA is like this 80% is useless

[@ian7897]

Too bad!

[@frayacinth]

I know literally nothing about coding, but I can feel the soul crushing despair oozing out of every line

[@Quantris]

"This seems like a bad idea but it's fine for now" Congratulations you are now a programmer.

[@dogman9291]

Me when I write up a convoluted solution for something that relies entirely on several random variables that no code of this importance should be resting on.

[@dogman9291]

@@modermonkula God, modding must be a nightmare with them then.

[@AstroWasUnavailable]

Congratulations, now all you need to do is become very tired and regret your life decisions

[@marcelosantos5220]

There's a word for it in portuguese: gambiarra

[@nacabaro3737]

This is literally me when I program something, it works, but it isn't a good idea.

[@akaiookami6441]

"I don't know why, I don't want to know why, I shouldn't have to know why" I feel that

[@HaSTaxHaX]

It doesn't even matter how hard you try

[@Y.M...]

@Gerson Ferreira time is a valuable thing

[@Ok-zy3zm]

@@Y.M... watch it fly by as the debugging is ruined, watch it go down to the end of the line, this code ticks life away

[@mateocsaba8801]

I tried so hard And wrote so much But in the end I dind't even work out I had to fall To dump it all But in the end It didn't even work out

[@aaclovern9804]

Too bad!

[@ysucae]

i will always remember when i was working in the industry how when it was time for the programmers to debug, you left them tf alone and always kept the beer, energy drinks and coffee pot well supplied. i remember the lead just looking up, empty thousand yard stare, for a while before bracing himself and going back to the code and i don't think i've ever seen a greater display of courage and insanity in such a simple gesture. mad respect.

[@salsamancer]

When you've been working on a project for a year and you still find TODOs written 9 months ago, this hits differently

[@Lethal_Spoon]

// My hope is that this code is so awful I'm never allowed to write UI code again. TF2 hud in a nutshell

[@gustasvs]

lmao

[@MalleusSemperVictor]

I think in many cases that wish was granted.

[@DocFr4nk]

tried a similar approach at my old job. Not gonna lie, didn't work out too great...

[@suburban-mech2107]

Dr.Fr4nk3n5731n was assigned to do front end UI for a project. The result: designated to do front end, back end, and instructing staff how to use it. Apparently my shitty UI was rather good. What the fuck is the rest of my team building?

[@DocFr4nk]

@@kimgkomg nope

[@Felcaster]

"I hope I am never allowed to write UI again" Immediately placed in charge of Steam's interface.

[@icarusgaming6269]

When your interface is so bad you have to make an alternate version that throws out half the functions

[@mneedes2]

That was my favorite one of all

[@monkeyrobotsinc.9875]

lmao

[@weirdbookshelf49]

That explains a lot

[@itz-electro]

Just gonna say, it would be GUI not UI.

[@Vallnerik]

As a software engineer, the human readability problem really is becoming my personal crusade. I have written these exact comments, not comments like these, these exact comments. The similarity is almost too perfect. Letter for letter word for word sentence by sentence paragraph after paragraph. Projects numerous. These types of rants and mental breakdowns in code comments are so common that it's normal to see this, it would be abnormal not to.

[@jonjon4796]

This video gave me the courage to push my swear comments to our production repository

[@HerbaMachina]

The truth about coders: we know what's a terrible way of doing something, but have no idea what an actually good way of doing it is

[@earl5954]

On a really big legacy code facts, you just gotta go with what works no Matter how bad it looks

[@Youda00008]

Or we know what is the good way of doing it, but we know it would take week instead of day and the leadership won't allow us to do it.

[@inkartridge]

@Internet Entity ok i will speak for our elfs :) tha nk u basded coderman :))

[@jetaddict420]

Its just slightly different ways of doing things wrong

[@sunderland666]

@Machina Of course, cause 90% of time what developers do is googling and reusing code from stackoverflow.

[@bensonsexon4691]

something: *leaks* devs: TOO BAD

[@jungeebunglez8599]

that's the joke

[@ominosentenzioso5100]

Last of Us2: *leaks* Everyone: too bad

[@SuperNuketown2025]

Memory leak is when it will infinitely take up more and more memory until you computer crashes, or the program is stopped by something else

[@classicrockonly]

Solution: don’t fix it, restart it. And tell the sysadmin TOO BAD

[@ominosentenzioso5100]

@@classicrockonly This is the real way to do IT xD

[@dxtrum]

"hopefully this code is so bad I'm never allowed to write UI code again" what a fucking mood

[@Apollo_Vanron]

The real developer comentary.

[@morningthistles2353]

Nothing says programming like "this thing breaks unless we do this terribleness, and i don't know why"

[@mibbleyt]

nya

[@zerkku7916]

@@mibbleyt no

[@Bananappleboy]

Niko clone #29392929190403010929393101039942010293

[@akaiappears]

Yup. That was me at the end of my first C assignment. Showed it to a couple seniors and they didn't know either. Guess that's my life now

[@donovanbradley3220]

Especially in C. Happens much less in Java and Python that manage memory for you and hide pointer operations.

[@yazuto]

"this code will cause a resonance cascade!" "too bad!"

[@disabledcat4382]

“We have assured the administrator that nothing will go wrong”

[@epicat0r]

Gold

[@urmemegay7929]

@@disabledcat4382 the gaben

[@nuralimedeu]

When testing the code: _It's not... It's not shutting down- It's not... _*_WOOOAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!_*

[@eternal424]

@@nuralimedeu *Oh fiddlesticks!*

[@eiya3]

Married to a programmer, have learned that if he writes something questionable it's a "clever workaround" but if someone else did it then it's a "hacky fix".

[@thelegend8570]

As someone who's learning code, it's good to know it never gets any better.

[@sauercrowder]

I love whoever writes "too bad!" everywhere

[@thatoneguy9582]

@omniscient xt Too bad!

[@tensor5113]

@omniscient xt gonna cry

omniscient xt Too bad!

[@wreckage2003]

@@tensor5113 gonna piss your pants maybe?

[@Skr4x]

He's probably realized that the person who pays for stupid schedules and budgets, is him, not management, not the company. Pay for shit, get shit. Pay for product, get product.

[@viktorthecreator4458]

Comments at the Beginning of the Project: "This method should take in the user's health as an int and return a state class that defines the texture to use" Comments 15+ Hours in: "This code is shit. Too bad!"

[@Sheridan2LT]

GHAHAHA right? I'd get sick of that too

[@rich1051414]

@@CARILYNF Me commenting code I wrote 6 months ago after it breaks randomly for no reason.

[@maysterre]

Comments 60+ hours in : "This shit is utterly fucking retarded"

[@Android480]

try 15000+ hours in

[@Splatpope]

this is why UI code in 3D engines from scratch is a fucking nightmare

[@katherinedobbs52]

You know, this is honestly reassurring to see. As someone who is considering getting into amateur game creation, it's nice to know that I'm not alone in hell :)

[@Mrs.THECOMMUNISTCHANNEL]

This is the perfect definition of *"Let the future generations handle it"*

[@Gnarrrl]

The real MVP comment is hidden at the end: "We need a better way of figuring out how to do this, but for now I´m trying the fastest solution possible since it's close to ship".

[@oz_jones]

Crunch is hell

[@Mazapan404]

As a programmer, this will always happen There's some random script that breaks at the worst time possible and you never have enough time to clean it up properly, you eventually end up fixing a little leak by badly replacing the entire celling

[@aussieraver7182]

Literally me during my all nighter...

[@sakuyaizayoi8946]

*_>This causes a memory leak._* *_>"Actually we need two memory leaks, or we lose the default string."_* -that one valve programmer

[@dice2030]

Ayo sakuya

[@naiknaik8812]

Ayo eda lyne

[@nifara8227]

Ayo naik naik

[@agnieszkasalach4395]

@@nifara8227 Ayo Nifara

[@tantejunko]

ayo agnieszka

[@jonahc2807]

“Use an EPSILON damnit!” Dumbledore said calmly

[@whodareswins999]

I was sent here from a classical music playlist because of Hall of the Mountain King. I will officially never be able to listen to this piece again without bursting into uncontrollable laughter. I hope you're happy! LMFAO! Seriously though, love the vid, and keep up the fun content.

[@ZefDavenport]

"My hope is that this code is so awful I'm never allowed to write UI code again" Those are the words of a desperate man.

[@Bobylein1337]

Who hasn't done this in some form in life?

[@GamerzPro1231]

That's honestly fucking funny.

[@PapaSmurff660]

At least he's being honest, gotta respect it, and im sure lots of programmers felt that way at least once in their careers

[@ApexGale]

I remember I did a bit of code for an odd job for a couple of buds who were actual CS graduates with degrees. I studied it with them but didn't pursue it, but they often pooled some money together to get me to help them on some small stuff that they would then use for inheritance purposes, which was my strong suit One time they asked me to do something involving recursion (can't remember what) and I immediately told them I was not the right person for the job and that they'd regret it down the line when they had to inherit and call methods from whatever it was I would be working on. They told me not to worry about it and that it would save them a lot of trouble down the line. It did not save them any trouble down the line whatsoever. They do not ask me to do anything recursively anymore.

[@PapaSmurff660]

@@ApexGale it seems a bit odd that they would ask you for help tbh :>

[@B0TFrosty]

I love how coding is basically "I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this, but it works so just gonna leave it like that"

[@katier9725]

That is more accurate than you think and why putting useful commentary is important. After 8 hours of programming stuff, you certainly aren't going to remember the exact thought process that led you to write that particular block of code, so yes "It works but I can't remember how I made it." is the norm.

[@Asiliea]

@@katier9725 Amen to that. Comment documentation is there for Future You to make sense of what Past You wrote so you can maintain it, not just for others!

[@LevaniaMeyano]

Wish there were comments in my jobs code. "Should be able to understand the code while reading it" they say. Yes, great.... But what does this do? (Granted, a lot of it can be understood just reading the code. But comments in some locations would be absolutely amazing to understand what certain sections are doing).

[@timseguine2]

@@LevaniaMeyano I can sympathise. You should be able to understand the code by reading it, but a lot of people who say that don't write readable code. Unfortunately comments don't normally help very much in code that needs it the most because the people who wrote the code have poor writing skills in any language. People (read: many programmers) forget sometimes that programming languages are also languages intended to be understood by humans. I have worked(among other things) on two types of legacy systems, those with inscrutable code and those with inscrutable code with a lot of comments. I can say quite honestly that the comments were often flat out wrong to the point that they were actively harmful and after a while you learn to ignore them if you want to keep your sanity. The only way to make real headway in bad code bases is to insist on writing code you would be happy to find yourself and to get good at deciphering the shitty stuff. Both of those things will tend to look like superpowers to a lot of other developers but really aren't hard skills to develop.

[@LevaniaMeyano]

@@timseguine2 My work uses bash and python mostly. So everything that has been written is easily readable. But largest issues is knowing where certain variables being used were created and what data they contain. And since everything is done on command line, can't easily use something like visual code to trace occurrences of the variable to find where its declared. Or scrolling through the text in bash vim. Then some places in the code has me going, I know what this does in a vacuum. But I don't know why its being done.

[@zanemcewen1343]

I'm a self taught programmer, learning slowly on my own. I'll be taking an actual course in college. But there was this one time relatively recently where i wanted to challenge myself to make a complex rock paper scissors game, where you could input the actual words like "rock" or "paper" or "scissors" and the computer would respond at random also with text. People told me to use numbers to make it easier on myself, but i said "Doing it with numbers wouldn't make it a challenge." The end result is a piece of spaghetti code which basically entails an extremely long if/else statement and definitely is not the best way of doing it but it was the only way i could find of converting a RNG into actual text, then comparing that text to the player's answer. I'm not even really sure how it works, and changing one thing (attempting to put the program in a while loop so you could play multiple times without closing) broke it. Permanently. Removing the while loop didn't fix it even though that was what broke it. I was lucky i had an earlier draft of the code i emailed to myself in order to show off the program at school to my teacher, who was interested in my programming and desire to be a programmer. He didn't teach me any programming but it was fun showing him what i had learned. Moral of the story is: Beginner programmers don't know what their doing, and experts don't either. But it works. It just *works*.

[@MemezuiiSangkanskje]

Todd was right all along. Not for Fallout 76 though.

[@pxh6129]

How is it complex? Isnt it simple string comparison?

[@zanemcewen1343]

@Pxh612 idk man and at this point i can't even remember how i wrote the code. If i had the actual code on hand i may be able to say otherwise but unfortunately my computer got reset and the code was lost.

[@NEETKitten]

​@@pxh6129 For some reason beginner programmers really like overcomplicating their code

[@fuzzyquils]

"USE AN EPSILON DAMMIT" *I felt that*

[@dantheman52420]

One of our devs was integrating a library from a company we recently partnered with. After hacking for days with no progress, he gets on a screen share call with their lead dev to get some help. The first comment they saw on the screen: // I hate this company and their shit code

[@HaydenX]

Just another day at the office.

[@ezassegai4793]

thats brutal hahaha

[@hnl5100]

congratulations I can't stop laughing now

[@yobrethren]

@@hnl5100 this guy right here won the internet, LMFAO

[@breakfast-burrito]

As I'm troubleshooting code that failed in prod, I noticed a script that wasn't running. Seemed to be our culprit. The script name? BadassScript.sh

[@Whomobile]

Community: Why does TF2 no longer get updates? TF2 Devs: "Intense screeching at code"

[@theobserver4214]

Whomobile Jill is a real trooper for managing to still update this code.

[@ariezon]

Hey bro love your vids

[@Noname-om3pp]

It's because the devs fucking killed themselves.

[@_GhostMiner]

*1:44** literally described the new unity fee system*

[@mohamedelidrissi810]

Let's face it, very few people go back to resolve the // TODO and // FIXME comments later, it's like a way to get rid of the guiltiness after writing bad code.

[@odinsrensen7460]

//MEACULPAMEACULPAMEACULPA

[@OxTheHerdzz]

"Has I ever" is such a powerful line. You can just tell it was written at 3AM, surrounded by empty cans of red bull and coffee, tears streaming down their face before they passed out from a caffeine overdose

[@christopheroliver148]

Ah yes! Like those late nights listening to loud rock and banging away on code for OS class when coffee stopped tasting good and started just tasting like strange water. I'm awake, but I'm not alert!

[@rabidcabbage7230]

It's such a clear image in my head

[@alilweeb7684]

Omfg pls dont make me imagine this

[@RED-jg6mt]

lmao

[@edgymurphy570]

@@christopheroliver148 omg you nailed it dude

[@KaiKindaGuy]

These people are literally half-life scientists "Uh... It's probably not a problem... probably..." *5 minutes later* **SCREAMS IN AGONY**

[@pacukluka]

I can hear the scream lmao

[@CantusTropus]

As someone who's done some semi serious coding in college projects, I can tell you this is perfectly normal behaviour for coders.

[@toyota-peek]

underrated comment

[@potardo9851]

*Code line is written Next line: "Oh Dear"

[@Operational117]

Aw shucks! That brings back memories! Can we call the end result of this codebase “unforeseen consequences”?

[@wurmturm]

the "Too bad!" guy is an absolute menace and must be stopped

[@its_saval]

1:01 my favorite part right here, love that line

[@MuuToo]

TF2’s code is like looking at a bed somebody shit in and being told you can either clean it up or make an entirely new bed. And every programmer decided to jump out the window instead.

[@AmbienceOfficial]

This is...a perfect analogy, oddly.

[@peesicle]

@@AmbienceOfficial no

[@Trident_Gaming03]

TOO BAD!

[@Cyrogenesis.]

@@Trident_Gaming03 has i ever?

[@lukealdridge5767]

I can say, without a doubt. This is the *FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN*

[@jordanl.8509]

I like to think the "TOO BAD!" Is an inside joke made by multiple programmers

[@christopheroliver148]

@Kayvee Tomorrow or finished: choose one.

[@frankejk]

@Kayvee CDPR devs be like:

[@uzor123]

@Kayvee i thought the same, the one leaving the too bad comments is probably the oldest guy in the team and a tech lead. It is like he has been in the game industry for too long and gotten tired of it while the others are young trying not to disappoint their coworkers.

[@RED-jg6mt]

ayy

[@qdude21]

@Kayvee There are no deadlines at Valve, except for HL:A. Shit comes out when they feel it's done over there.

[@Aryphan]

"This shit doesn't work!! Why? Has I ever?" is probably one of the best quotes ive ever heard

[@RRVCrinale]

Videos like this from companies like Valve are a little like sneaking into Wonka's chocolate factory and learning that even the Oompa-Loompas get tripped up by things that make other confectioners, even you, stumble, and that just like the rest of us, they have finite tempers and patience.

[@wojtekpolska1013]

how programming works: problem: appears dev: i'll add quick stupid fix, will properly fix later quick stupid fix: never changed

[@thegrayseed2792]

if it got fixed with a stupid fix, it will stays like that until it breaks again, ends of story.

[@TheAudioCGMan]

that's really bad, because more and more things depend on the stupid fix

[@johnySF]

It's like they say, if it's not broken, don't fix it. And if it's not that efficient... Too bad.

[@Cotonetefilmmaker]

temporary solutions are the most permanent

[@revenantghost724]

This is valid only for softwares that do not take 9 years to develop. After 9 years i expect nothing less than perfection.

[@Niko-ex3bn]

I can confirm that during late nights, code often ends up with these kinds of comments. I once found a comment by me in some old code saying "spaghettii soup ahead". I did not remember writing it.

[@wilfreddv]

@Shaun G "why didnt I do this instead?!" *Removes 50 lines of code and replacrs it with 2*

[@Niko-ex3bn]

@@wilfreddv Its even worse when you design a system late at night, since its hard to redesign it. Just today i realised i designed a system poorly late at night and have to remake it over the course of the next week.

[@ZefDavenport]

This hasn't happened to me while coding, but it did happen while drawing. I had to draw some stuff late at night, and had to write details for characters and backgrounds, and the next day I found comments like: "This guy's hair is impossible. Why am I doing impossible hair right now?" "Fix this perspective, the house looks stupid" "Jacket is probably black. If not, I'll decide tomorrow" "Eyes should be smaller. It looks like an alien. It's supposed to be a kid".

[@sanscipher9166]

All of my non-trivial code has at least comment in the lines of "This shit is magic, do not delete"

[@Niko-ex3bn]

@@sanscipher9166 Iv had cases where deleting something that obviously does nothing breaks code like that. Its always funny, then sad, then funny again.

[@isnitjustkit]

“Source, the engine held together with tape and broken dreams”

[@BenKuyt64]

"This causes a memory leak. Too bad!" Fucking dead!

[@_kuni]

Professional software dev checking in. Something lost on most of the viewers here is that comments in codebases like these are just a day in the life of devs working on a software project of any meaningful size. In the real world, shipping software has deadlines, and you're lucky if you have more than a few days to focus on any given problem. If you can't come up with an elegant solution in that time, too bad! You throw in a hack that works and move on to the next problem, but not before adding a frustated comment for the next person who has to work on that piece of code. If these are the worst examples you could find, I actually have more faith in the quality of TF2 than before - I've personally seen multi-paragraph rants in comment blocks longer than the code itself.

[@TheGreatBackUpVIDEOS]

If your comment is longer than the code itself, I'm highly concerned about what the code was supposed to do...like-how much effort was this one thing to make that it actually ended up a book sized rant?

[@fishdisher9564]

TheGreatBackUp writing a comment is easy though, in fact people even Like venting frustration.

[@hellcoreproductions]

@@TheGreatBackUpVIDEOS Depends if the comment shows understanding of the problem, or at least, the scale of it. It's easy to ramble about what needs to be done vs actual implementation or time required.

[@noth1ngnss921]

@@TheGreatBackUpVIDEOS Writing a comment is really easy though, you just type out your frustration with the piece of code at max speed. Most of these people can get anywhere between 60 to 150 words per minute if they weren't thinking so hard about what to type all of the time.

[@krullachief669]

Iterate this counter by one should your idea fail

[@DonVigaDeFierro]

//This is horrible, unreadable, doesn't even meet our requirements, is needlessly complicated and will cause problems later. //But don't touch it or it will crash the entire program.

[@iaxacs3801]

Coding in a nutshell. It's literally that Simpsons meme where Homer clamps all his skin to his back to look thinner from the front.

[@thedead456321]

Also don't remove this comment it somehow holds things together

[@computer_dude]

Sometimes, the code is self-aware and decides to work when it wants to.

[@MichaelHarto]

That single duct tape on the cracking dam.

[@thedead456321]

@@MichaelHarto And if you remove the duct tape it breaks somewhere else entirely, probably even on a different dam.

[@bruterasta]

1:22 Q_strlen and Q_strcpy are functions dating back to first quake.

[@lekksha_]

I like to rewatch this video when I don't succeed in coding. This literally kills my imposter syndrome

[@m_ism]

1:24 - "Actually, we need two memory leaks" Wait you fucking what

[@ThatOneAnnoyingPubPlayer]

The one case where two wrongs *do* make a right

[@NicksonYT]

@@ThatOneAnnoyingPubPlayer Negative times negative equals positive. Math checks out

[@samanthashafer1742]

I just saw that also I'd love to see the error and exception list of this code...

[@thanasispapazoglou8135]

Too bad!

[@casacara]

"I used the memory leak to destroy the memory leak"

[@owlroseproductions8876]

Then he turned into an underpaid sleepless programmer. *Funniest shit I've ever seen*

[@ksam2000]

*wheezes*

[@chryco4]

I'm coder Riiiiiiick

[@GrayMindedSoul]

So bloody funneh

[@redjstudios7036]

Good joke but I doubt that valve employees are jnderpaid

[@kalapoikedeviere7962]

@@redjstudios7036 more like overpaid, lmao, steam's a fukin money cow, and they probably have more freedom than EA's and Blizzard's company combined, they also have great snacks, lol

[@yharim180]

1:37 is how I feel when programming and then notice a fucking tiny typo or error that was fucking it all up and then fixing it only to find another.

[@BP-bq9uz]

every like.... several months i forget this video, it shows up in my recommended, and i get jumpscared by some dude on the internet making a tts bot say a slur with their whole chest

[@mwu365]

Sounds like coding alright.

[@adamfarmer7665]

ye this shit happens every time

[@anonymousally9783]

It's all fun and games until your variables start to complain

[@funnyx8307]

You haven't seen shit until you get 999 different errors

[@profdobbs4918]

@@funnyx8307 true

[@Perdix64]

Matthew Wu yeah

[@rayanderson5797]

As bad as this is, imagine how any Bethesda game must be.

[@Hersatz]

It's their secret. They just smack repeteadly at the keyboard and it just works.

[@vargakristof3555]

"All of this just works." The "just" was meant to be "barely" but ToddBot went off script. Cuz of the shitty code

[@robbiet9176]

@@vargakristof3555 I think it would be: "all of this JUST works"

[@GlobstersMessenger]

I have genuine pity for the devs working with Papyrus and creation engine. Implementing relatively simple mods that merely modify existing things in the game is bad enough, running combat/gameplay event scripts makes me want to die and I gave up.

[@Verpal]

@@GlobstersMessenger Once upon a time I modded Skyrim, and I optimize for low end hardware like iGPU and 2C4T CPU. Nowadays I just ''reuse'' code from other mod, patch them together, and doesn't optimize anything. As long as it runs on my PC I don't care anymore.

[@SSM24_]

"My hope is that this code is so awful I'm never allowed to write UI code again" is probably the most relatable one to me. "I don't know why, I don't want to know why, I shouldn't have to wonder why, but ..." is also a very good one.

[@burger6178]

"why? has I ever?" I felt that.

[@Blayzeing]

I was writing a source game once, and I found a comment that stated "I know the code below seems like it's doing nothing, but the engine crashes when it's not there, so leave it in!" I remember reading that and knowing that somewhere I had taken an unfortunate misstep.

[@DarkPortall]

That's just how code works, it makes sense in theory, but in practice nothing works, nothing makes sense, something works and you have no idea why, you know you don't know what it is, you know it's probably bad but you have no idea why so you just stick with it.

[@thelegend8570]

I feel this.

[@bloodyhell8201]

@D1g1talN0vaThe Omnissiah has cursed valve!

[@derfzgrld]

@D1g1talN0va its just like I always say: If the code doesnt do what its supposed to do (so if it exists), you should just knee down and pray to the machine spirit of your computer. The girlfriend of a friend of mine even offered to give me some of her spirituality-stuff stones.

[@xhawkenx633]

@D1g1talN0va it gaining consciousness on its own

[@bilbo_gamers6417]

"why would valve ever release a TF2 sequel" "This will be the last update for this game. We tried changing the UI code again and nothing is working, twelve years of spaghetti have finally caught up to us."

[@Sl0wnumb]

oh no. Soundsmith was right about source spaghetti

[@bowserlevx]

@@Sl0wnumb if you wanna see top teir spaghetti, look up lazypurples "how it feels to suffer in sfm"

[@deisk2707]

Lazypurple's " How it feels to suffer on SFM making "

[@rangopistacho6928]

Hey a sequel game would be better

[@Permafrost1]

Weaklings, Riots been fucking with their shitty code successfully for 20 years

[@Honorable_Judge_Mental]

Who needs waterboarding torture when you can force someone to code with Source?

[@ChadMorningWood]

I come back to this video every now and then to feel better about my work place. No matter where you go, you just can't escape the bullshit and that's fairly comforting to know

[@sagichnichtsowiesonicht7326]

i once heard that microsoft has a division of people srcrolling trough the source code removing curse words.

[@Mate_Antal_Zoltan]

couldn't they just write a program that removes/replaces/censors no-no words?

[@heselofhephidiyiai5985]

@@Mate_Antal_Zoltan then they would need a program to censor the swears in that code

[@Mate_Antal_Zoltan]

@@heselofhephidiyiai5985 I get your joke, but making a program that replaces words with other words is pretty easy

[@justinpolanco5046]

Máté Antal Too bad!

[@cole1]

@@Mate_Antal_Zoltan find and replace in s source code is the easiest way to break everything

[@rogehmarbi]

"//Someone fix this!" Nobody fixes it until release. We all went through that at one point

[@natebit7167]

Nobody fixes it for 12 and 1/2 years following release

[@yoyogre]

Dev: //Don't ship this! Company: *Ship it anyway* Dev: *Pikachu face*

[@enzoqueijao]

@@yoyogre Company: too bad!

[@zaikolebolsh5724]

Company: also you are fired, you are white and have a penis, *that's too bad!*

[@Akumasama]

Nothing is more permanent than temporary code.

[@rainbowdice1366]

The "someone needs to fix this" ending up in full production code is the most relatable part of this.

[@anonanon161]

"This isn't the best, though I can fix it later" to "This fucking sucks and I hope I never have to do this again" in only two minutes.

[@Sleepyhead1211]

If you've ever even programmed more than three lines of code you would understand instantly their frustrations

[@he3004]

I only progranmed in scratch and I understand their pain

[@nyoom7495]

Still clean as hell compared to YandereDev's utter clusterfuck that he calls code.

[@unnoticed4571]

@@nyoom7495 Shhhhhhhhhhhhh *We don't talk about the cursed code.*

[@GzheGzheGzhe]

@@nyoom7495 else if

[@dustojnikhummer]

"It doesn't work without this and I have no fucking idea why"

[@HellecticMojo]

"Why didn't you get into computer science? There's so much money" *Points to all this*

[@Jestrath]

I originally really liked programming as a hobby but then decided to go for a job in it. Now that I have spent several years in the industry I really don't code for fun much. The work can sap all of your motivation to do it outside of work.

[@NN-sp9tu]

Sairvous Get that bread, retire early, and then do your own projects

[@FELCommentary]

I'm so fucking glad I work in QA and not actual development, I would eat buckshot

[@gerunkwon2598]

@@NN-sp9tu based

[@chanceeldritch4182]

Didnt even get that far into computer science before i experienced several heart and brain infarctions. Probably didnt help that the only teacher in that bastarding school had a "dont get it read the book, still dont get it im going to read you the book and somehow make it even less understandable" sort of teaching style

[@_GhostMiner]

"it's fine for now" Every developer's last words. 😅

[@Cow-Moth-With-A-CRT-Head]

I love this video; I've intentionally rewatched it on three separate occasions now, and each time is just as good.

[@thepsion5]

I recently stumbled across a code comment I wrote two years earlier: //TODO: Fucking nuclear level refactoring needed

[@cordellreese7459]

I had one from back in high school, because I would spend nights just practice writing programs, anyways the thing was //Why does this piece of shit not work? Everytime I load up, you work fine but not sure why you’re fucking up now This was in response to a simple miscalculation because of a command earlier in the scripting

[@Fedor_Shtykov]

I remember writing some weird and funny comments while doing homework (my hometask was to make a piece of code that solves something that was stated in the task itself). *translation from russian* This took 5 hours to make. I know I never was a godlike coder but I have 1 simple question: why the hell changing ONE LINE of code breaks everything else!? Idk how but I got 4 (B for western schools) for that. It was breaking after I input letters (a, b, c...) instead of numbers and I spent 3 hours trying to fix that. Maybe I got B for writing a comment that takes several lines (and doing it correctly).

[@sierra5065]

@@Fedor_Shtykov My favorite I've seen was /I made this after 36 hours without sleep so don't ask me how it works. Partially because of the group of 5 people who could of written it, no one remembers writing it.

[@thepsion5]

UPDATE, 9 months later: The code to which this comment refers is still in production

[@slashplane]

@@thepsion5 so is the refactoring still on the todo list?

[@SaifUlIslam-di5xv]

// Dear fellow reader, whatever you do, don't remove the function below // I couldn't find where this function is used or what exactly is doing, but whenever I do remove it, everything breaks // Just don't touch it

[@staxom]

//Guys, I knows this line of code causes an error, but without it textures won't load //Todo: find the cause of this //Wth? I couldn't find anything! //Me too. Let's just leave it alone. //Nvm, fixed it

[@SaifUlIslam-di5xv]

@@staxom Ouch! Seems like something out of my current programming assignment. xD

[@lychy645]

Probably exported

[@jerrygreenest]

Problems of metaprogramming. Don’t do metaprogramming. Worst shit ever.

[@jadimatic1096]

Ive had that same issue in unity many times, I finish coding something, I go back through it to clean it up, I delete one thing, and everything breaks. I have no idea what the thing did, but for some reason unity decides to freak out, so I just put it back and never touch it again.

[@khornelordofskulls7090]

i love how "too bad!" is just the Valve employee's running gag. ever think they're just randomly like: "Hey Dave, just letting you know that the coffee machine's broken." "aw damn it, i was just about to make one!" "Too bad!"