Sick Burns from Critical Role

[@TheQrstOne]

That whipcrack, "You *couldn't*", even while working on another joke, is proof that Sam is a mastermind! 😂😂😂

[@StealthMarmot_]

No wonder Fjord was so ready to buy that ring of fire resistence.

[@TheQrstOne]

@@StealthMarmot_, bravo! 👏😂

[@Blasted2Oblivion]

You know what I love about Caduceus and his bit? It wasn't an insult. He wasn't being mean. He saw a man living his life based on a misunderstanding and tried to correct it before wishing him well.

[@WexMajor82]

With all the grace of a bull in a glass shop.

[@epsilon497]

Respectfully

[@gilessaint-loup2426]

And that is why it was such a sick burn. He was being polite and cordial.

[@stingerjohnny9951]

@@gilessaint-loup2426 remember that the next time someone tells you “the truth doesn’t hurt” lol

[@Jackie_Tikki_Tavi]

"I didn't want to shout"

[@GuuhhDarkzz]

I also like the Jester: "I can heal people, mom!" Nott: "she CAN heal people"

[@Rellyks]

"she's able to" xD

[@TheBlarggle]

Or when she cast a healing spell and Nott goes "What kind of brand new magic was that? I've never seen you do that before!" (paraphrased)

[@undcvr]

what episode is that

[@picklepaddy]

Most burns are a thrown match or a molotov. Cad takes the time to make the whole pyre.

[@chromegaman]

Well, he *is* the Grave Domain Cleric for a reason.

[@imanione]

I mean, what else could we expect from a Grave Domain Cleric who regularly drinks "people tea"? And the slow burn of the burn... ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 "It's Love that makes people" and sometimes breaks them, because of their clear LACK of it. Yep, Caduceus, gently loving people (good and evil) into the ground to be consumed and then later (if they're lucky) consumed; probably with a nice touch of mint and bergamot. 😏

[@rickseiden1]

"I wish for you to find someone who will mourn you when you are gone." That has to be the harshest burn I've ever heard.

[@TPBurrow]

Its epic level

[@Naro_Rivers]

The best/worst part is that, as I saw someone else point out, he was being genuine. He wasn’t mean or disrespectful, he really hoped that they would find someone to care about and to care about them, expressed in a way that only a grave domain cleric can~

[@brettchew3771]

The grave cleric delivers a subtle, cremation-level burn. 🤌

[@MentalVideographer]

I guarantee you if/when they animate campaign 2, the dinner might not happen, but somewhere, at some point, Caduceus will give that exact speech to Ikithon, and it will be unchanged.

[@jguilherme13]

I did miss "your secrect is safe with my indifference"

[@TPBurrow]

Yeah, I did that a few years ago: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bHObc5Rjg6xmh9k

[@MimesAgainstHunmanity]

"You couldn't." is still one of my favorites.

[@danielarosindo]

That one was so out of the blue that I nearly die laughing every time I hear it

[@GZilla311]

@@danielarosindoAnd the best part is he walked RIGHT into it.

[@danielarosindo]

@@GZilla311 yes, yes he did. You are absolutely right 🤣🤣🤣

[@sammy431]

The "I'll bring that back I guess" is my favorite because everyone looks horrified and then there's Marisha and Liam laughing 😂

[@savingpyro]

It's even funnier when Bell comes back with his arm.

[@talonus202]

@@savingpyro "The story of all of Bertrand Bell's achievements, Off-screen and no one cares." Paraphrased, btw.

[@kenwhite1898]

I don't get the arm thing can you clarify?

[@devonmcdaniel1176]

I actually don't get the roast, here...

[@justadummy8076]

@@devonmcdaniel1176 neither, it’s probably too out of context

[@phillipgathright8001]

Love that the "grow your arm back" burn caused Travis to hide in his hoodie.

[@anirbasnilcol3838]

I'm so glad that you included Cad's gift in that it's perfect

[@TPBurrow]

Happy New Year ❤

[@binder38us]

I will say that Cadeceus' burn on Trent is probably the main reason he tried to incinerate the Blooming Grove.

[@Star-pl1xs]

his white house correspondence roast moment

[@Landis963]

Trent is an opportunist more than anything - he saw the M9 at the Blooming Grove, teleported in loaded for bear, and opened fire. Classic scry-and-die maneuver. Punishing Caduceus' "disrespect" would have been a bonus.

[@theyonlycomeoutwhenitsquiet]

Why do things for one reason when you could do them for three or four?

[@amadeus5889]

The thing I love about Sam is, when he roasts someone, he doesn’t cower or apologize. That lean in on Marisha was like “I just cooked you medium rare, whatcha gonna do???”

[@thestranger954]

Cadeusus is a Gravekeeper. It's his calling to bring people to their final resting place, keep them company, and mourn them when nobody else does. He told Trent that he will do no such thing for him. He has no place in his garden and should spend his days looking for someone else's.

[@FaceMan1815]

My favorite is the M9 episode where they are getting a few new magic items (I want to say 125? Maybe?) and Fjord gives Jester his ring of fire resistance that he spent $5k on, and then in the same damn episode, Fjord: “Does anyone have any magic items that they’re kinda ‘eh’ about?” Jester: “I mean, I’ve got this ring of fire resistance.” Fjord: “OH-kay…”

[@jimmy_the_squid9456]

Tbf that ring came in super clutch in the final battle

[@chalor182]

​@@jimmy_the_squid9456"SAVED MAH BITCH!"

[@angelicalicari8355]

Travis's delivery of "OH-kay" always sends me!

[@shyfrog3731]

"I wish for you, in the future, to find someone who will mourn you when you are gone," is one of THE HARDEST lines in CR history. It is so unauthorized, I love it so much.

[@SingingSealRiana]

ITS the meanest burn ever especially cause IT was given in somewhat good faith

[@Blue_Lunacy]

I don't know if this count as a burn but "Little elf girl" is still one of my favourite moment that put the whole table, including the DM, into panic mode. 😂

[@peteralexandergraae2830]

It is a moment that sums up everyones characters. Grog up and leaves. Keyleth uses a fog cantrip to vanish. Vax stelthes away with a 32. Percy hexes into the shadows. And pike is just... absent.

[@JoyCrazy]

Sam is brave brave man

[@davidbergfors6820]

I was expecting percys "your secret is safe with my indifference" but I understand.

[@TPBurrow]

I already did that kzbin.info/www/bejne/bHObc5Rjg6xmh9k

[@Myusollo]

The Caduceus burn always makes me think of his other big interaction with Trent in the last episode: “Empathize.”

[@carlotta4th]

"As he falls asleep I just want the last thing he hears to be 'ah that's okay. We can try again tomorrow.'"

[@Darkness09ization]

The part with Veth and Fjord is the best. Sam managed to squeeze three burns into one short conversation. Yeehaw little doggies!!

[@PalleRasmussen]

Much as I love Sam and Nott, Cad and Taliesin's slow building of a pyre, then setting it on fire, is my favourite.

[@AdamEspersona]

Keyleth’s burn is justified, considering she just lost the love of her life. Poor girl’s going through it, the Tempest stuck with a reminder of that loss within the perpetual tempest of madness that is Pandemonium XD And of course… Cad. The best gift-giver you could hope for. Respectfully.

[@anufoalan]

I just love how Travis actually hides from it, you know it’s gonna be good when he does that because normally he only does that when Laura is mad

[@tabiibat]

Keyleth had all of her fears she told Vax about come true and then immediately had to run around a terrible dimension with a follower of the raven Queen. Then a year later she was put in a spot where she saw him again for but a moment, tearing open her wounds again. I love keyleth.

[@AdamEspersona]

@@tabiibat But does she regret ever falling in love with him, even with the very real possibility of losing him? FUCK NO. After all, it was Vax himself that taught her how to take chances. And she would never take it back, even if given the option. It’s the “You Are Worth Hell” trope taken to eleven, forever and ever and always. And for that, how could I myself not love her?

[@tabiibat]

@@AdamEspersona I'm very emotional about the voice of the tempest all the time every day. I'm so glad people are loving her now thanks to the animated show. She deserves it 👏 ❤️

[@AdamEspersona]

@@tabiibat Indeed. Especially with the reminder of how the first burn, while funny originally, I feel only lead to the stoking of the “read your spells” discourse, along with all the other crap she got in C1. So I’m all the more glad for the cast realizing this and easing up on it. And I will always love Kiki. Hell, my first CR fics ever were about Vaxleth, and I even managed to send some to Marisha and Liam as Critmas presents back in the day.

[@anneroosv]

Thanks for this, great compilation! I might also raise you Pike's "There is a curse on this family. It's called diabetes"

[@majorasmask5523]

You forgot the cold blooded murder of that carriage driver by Vex during the first campaign. “You could become anything you want” “Probably not a lute player…” She said it in front of the Emperor’s entire court. That poor boy. For the record, this was the guy Percy tortured by shooting off his fingers. Even Grog was shocked.

[@ralphgann609]

The caduceus burn will always be the most legendary of them all, simply because of the absolute seriousness behind it

[@Werewolfoverlord12]

that Cad convo with the head made wasn't a burn, THAT WAS POURING NAPALM DOWN SOMEONE"S THROAT

[@LydiaTereK]

“Each creature in a 20-foot-radius sphere centered on that point must make a Dexterity saving throw. A target takes 8d6 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one”

[@DrgnDrake]

I think my other favorite Fjord/Veth moment was when she told him he was hotter when we didn't know anything about him.

[@musicmaid8986]

2:35 ELDRIGE BLAST!? Are you kidding me!!?

[@GeeGe.]

I believe Samuel is in fact kidding you

[@elusivegamergirl]

2:12 will always be my favorite.

[@nikkimabanlongeval601]

The most polite 'you will die alone' you will ever hear 😂 holy shit!

[@anthonydavis5288]

Spoilers beloooooooow. Thx Soon after Nott comments about fjords strength and asks him to say "Eldritch Blast" they're (I think in the live show) pulling Fjord and Caduceus out of the dead worm. Nott tries to help and rolls an 11. Travis says "that is lower than what I roll" and Nott pushes Fjord back in lol 😂 🤣

[@Gryphon2026]

I just had to go back and watch Cad's gift again its just too awesome!

[@martinw2235]

I've only really watched C3 and Ashton is fairly quiet so far, but the more I watch Taliesin, the more I love his wisdom and attitude.

[@SingingSealRiana]

He IS so brillant!

[@volteer1332]

An insight i gained from him in 4-sided dive episode 5 is that Taliesin has a slew of things he can say or do to demoralize people, like the example he gave about reaching over someone when they get into your passenger seat to close the door on them. Or how he is a fountain of L.A. cultural knowledge thanks to being in a lot of weird subcultures. He seems like the perfect weird friend.

[@AnimeRonin]

The thermo-nuclear mic drop from Cad is always going to be the winner.

[@nickthedreamer4434]

I hope this is the beginning of a series because there were SOOOO many more moments of sick burns and thrown shade that were a blast to experience! (Honestly surprised that "Your secret is safe with my indifference" and the one time where Talesin threw shade at Marisha and she attacked Sam for it because she thought it was him weren't in this video.)

[@volteer1332]

Speaking of "throwing shade," I love when Percy makes that pun about the second Sun tree keyleth talks to in the plane of the dawnfather

[@ap4e_941]

„You…c-couldn‘t“

[@abrilvonbunny6205]

I missed the " okay SNEA SNAKE"

[@MrVashra13]

That last one wasn't just a burn, that was a flamethrower! Jesus Christ Talesin! lol

[@kaylaboland637]

All of Nott's fjord-is-weak jokes are really my favourite, I miss their relationship so much!

[@CaptainRayaa]

God Cads one was just on another level

[@21Hayden12]

I think Cads best burn is in that but he says to Trent "in the presence of" not "please of meeting" It's all about the words!

[@CatTerrist]

First on camera 10d8 psychic damage done to a DM with that "Ill regenerade your arm.....!"

[@imanione]

I mean, what else could we expect from a Grave Domain Cleric who regularly drinks "people tea"? And the slow burn of the burn... ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 "It's Love that makes people" and sometimes breaks them, because of their clear LACK of it. Yep, Caduceus, gently loving people (good and evil) into the ground to be consumed and then later (if they're lucky) consumed; probably with a nice touch of mint and bergamot. 😏

[@scooby45247]

Taliesin Jaffe, you are a poet..

[@isaiahwelch8066]

@TP Burrow: You should have included the Vex incident forever known as "The Great Broom Panic" during the liveshow in Campaign 1, where Laura said, "Thanks, Matt. You just saved a marriage." Or the incident in the "Scanlan Love Potion" bit on the last liveshow of Campaign 1.

[@volteer1332]

The first one is the video "[the] time Travis feared for his life on stage"

[@TheBlarggle]

Firbolgs ending their insults with "respectfully" must be a racial trait.

[@SingingSealRiana]

IT was Not even an unsult at all, or was Well ment advice with makes the burn so much worse

[@golett0331]

People insulting the strength of Travis's character is so weird to me because I haven't finished C1 yet, so he's still playing Grog.

[@nolanmejia5510]

You could make a whole video dedicated to fjord and Veth interactions

[@jacobtgomes]

Leaning into the danger is amazing!

[@enderswolf]

“Help me Jesus! Help me Tom Cruise!”

[@megadev9099]

@TP Burrow - Wasn't the regrowing the arm thing was in the Search for Bob? Or maybe the search for Grog? (not Grog's one-shot as it says in the video details).

[@TPBurrow]

Yes, ...well done you spotted the deliberate error and win a prize of insight:)

[@megadev9099]

@@TPBurrow I guess I have a low Wisdom score, because if there is some kind of joke there, I'm not getting it.

[@TPBurrow]

@@megadev9099 im sorry it was a clumsy attempt to hide my mistake, with drunk new year humour, I changed it now. Happy New Year:)

[@megadev9099]

Oh good. I like to think I'm a fairly smart individual, but know that sometimes I can miss things. Cheers!

[@dovearchambault9229]

I almost just need that last one separately

[@JustinSIsTank]

In the first one, I see the Redskins shirt. Sam shouldn't even have been alive to burn Marisha.

[@alexzander7629]

Really sad the “you mean subtraction” bit isn’t here. That was Gold

[@TPBurrow]

I already did that kzbin.info/www/bejne/aKual2dvoJ2lpKs

[@sweebos]

I've watched C2 three times... And I might do it again. 😄 I friggin love those characters so much!

[@TPBurrow]

Same!!

[@binder38us]

The animated series will be AWESOME

[@volteer1332]

Mighty nein TV show is in production, it's gonna be so epic.

[@tessa5233]

Respectfully

[@TheSpoegefugl]

Can someone give me a bit of context for the Keyleth-Scanlan clip? (The very first)

[@TPBurrow]

Tricky without spoilers but I will try. The Gang were having a brain-storming session, after a particularly tense encounter during which Keyleth used a high level spell for an essential yet potentially wasteful mode of transport. Scanlan was throwing shade at her for doing so.:)

[@TheSpoegefugl]

@@TPBurrow I see, thank you ^^

[@fenixmeaney6170]

@@TPBurrow episode?

[@TPBurrow]

@@fenixmeaney6170 C1 ep39

[@bludfyre]

@@TPBurrow Is that when the party turned all bubbly because Marisha misread the spell? The one with a 1 minute reversion time in the middle of combat?

[@Direwolf181]

I love salty Keylith lol

[@Tavish_Studios]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@Samurai_Stoner]

Cad with that CM Punk pipebomb

[@micy9308]

If only we had context for the burns from years ago

[@peteralexandergraae2830]

Keyleth could not save vax and she cannot bring him back, so she will settle for percys arm. I really wish i could remember what she used a 6th level spell on for no reason, tho.

[@LugiatheOceanGuardian]

Which campaign had the female barbarian who’s sword is called Only Friend?

[@skittyjive9135]

Yasha? she was a female barbarian in the second campaign but her sword was called Skingorger. Shes the only female barbarian with a sword that Critical Role has had.

[@fooglefuss]

That's Harmonquest, Erin's character. Might be an axe, I can't recall.

[@shadowsdawn5529]

Cadd’s burn was great

[@starmanDX27]

Is "I'll bring that back I guess" some sort of joke I missed in C1 or is it just Keyleth being salty is the whole punchline? Either way its still hilarious lol

[@TPBurrow]

Mhmm yeah, its a C1 spoiler. She lost something and wanted it back.

[@peteralexandergraae2830]

She lost her boytoy, vaxildan. This is the serch for grog oneshot, which happened after c1.

[@gamergirl209]

I was waiting for snee snake

[@tamrymer4153]

What was the first one?

[@braydenb1581]

Can someone explain the first part

[@nicozandhuis1865]

I swear there's one where matt rips sam for his his teeth and I can't find it :'))

[@pokemonpika77]

I fully do not remember which episode it was BUT its right after the Ad Read where sam does a Better or Worse with a bunch o food combos, like whipped cream on a glass of red wine. Sam leaves to brush his teeth and when he comes back theres a bit of a moment. Sam "Sorry, had to go brush my teeth." Matt "Is that how they get so big?"

[@darksora2658]

can I get some context for the first one?

[@skittyjive9135]

"Respectfully" WHERE WAS THE RESPECT SUPPOSED TO BE CAD?

[@merijnrootlieb]

What is the context for keyleths burn to Percy? I know he lost his arm, but why were people that shocked?

[@anjelica948]

Spoilers for C1!!!!!! Keyleth had JUST lost her partner, Vax, and not only was she absolutely devastated, but so were other members of the party as well, and it was kind of a kick in the face, bc Keyleth as a Druid is capable of using resurrection magic, but even she wasn’t able to bring Vax back.

[@genostellar]

I need more context for that arm regeneration one.

[@peteralexandergraae2830]

She could not bring back/save her beloved Vax'ildan, so she will settle for percys arm. Because vax had just died after the vecna fight.

[@aimeepollock2943]

I need the story behind the first scene or at least the episode number.

[@lordpepper6932]

I forget the context for the first one but I remember the joke, was it a joke about failing to do something during a fight?

[@TheChimikpiero]

The càd burn......

[@Cobb]

I love how theirs no context to these and none of them make sense in the clip shown.

[@kyleplumer9137]

Why am I the only one just a bit confused by the arm one? Am I that stupid? 😂

[@NaomiJameston]

You aren't!! Tl;dr: (Spoilers for campaign 1) Vox Machina had just defeated Vecna something like a week before they went to Pandemonium to search for Grog's missing soul (due to a bad card draw from the Deck of Many Things). Vax was a revenant whose only purpose for "living", such as it was, was to defeat Vecna. So when they achieved that, the Raven Queen collected him. He was Keyleth's lover, so she's pretty torn up about it. The group had discussed various ways to break his contract with the Raven Queen, including regeneration. So when Keyleth says, "I'll regenerate your arm. I'll bring that back, *I guess*," she's referencing their failed attempts to resurrect her dead lover.

[@kyleplumer9137]

@@NaomiJameston OH FUCK THATS SO DARK, GODDAMN KEYKEY😂😂😭

[@Celedam]

Vax had been disintegrated during their first, failed battle with Vecna. The rest of the party escaped to the Feywild and then started to discuss how to get 25,000 gp worth of diamonds for True Resurrection. Either Pike or Keyleth could cast the spell, but nothing less than True Resurrection would work (because disintegration), and getting that many diamonds would take time they didn't have. So, while they discussed it, Vax made his bargain with the Raven Queen and was returned as a Revenant. And being a Revenant, he could no longer be resurrected because his soul was no longer free. It belonged to the Raven Queen. Thus Keyleth couldn't save Vax. Scanlan could, but that's another story…

[@bludfyre]

@@kyleplumer9137 And the only reason it happened was because Sam made a joke in the final episode, when they were talking about what happened to their characters in the future, something like "it was crazy! Some trolls came out of nowhere and cut Percy's arm off!" And then Matt made it happen lol.

[@thebiggestcarl]

honestly that first clip always annoys me, keyleth was always the "can dish it out but cant take it" kind of person and its so annoying. she constantly shit on scanlan, but when he does it to her she just gets pissed off.

[@skittyjive9135]

shes literally joking. its not that deep.

[@samuelstensgaard4828]

Am I the only one who never enjoyed Veth's teasing of Fjord? I get he deserved it when he tried to get her in the water too many times when it was scary to her. But he apologized for it once he learned her true past. Yet she kept doing it over and over again even though Fjord is like the humblest member of the Mighty Nein, I dunno, always felt like Sam was just trying to manufacture comedy that wasn't there.

[@TPBurrow]

Sam does enjoy his running gags, I can understand where your coming from though.