Signs of a Healthy INTJ

[@a.b.allview670]

As an INTJ, I will sometimes play devils advocate in a conversation to explore lines of thought. Some might perceive this as argumentative. The reality is I have no interest in getting into an argument, and in fact avoid arguing as I see it as an utter waste of time in almost all circumstances.

[@nators1]

Absolutely relate, i think I do it when I perceive the opposing side being misrepresented and/or misunderstood, even if I agree with the person's position.

[@Lowdermoomoo]

We just wanna see all perspectives of an issue. It’s how we understand things, we want to know what led to a certain train of thoughts and why the outcome was the way that it was. We tend to dissect things a lot.

[@adamd9166]

Lol, it is funny, because a lot of people begin to see you as non-committal. In certain ideological groups, I will occasionally say that a conflicting ideology has some good points, and people in my group look at me like I'm an alien. No, I'm just looking at different aspects of a philosophy objectively, rather than being married to a system of thinking just on principle.

[@crystalchristensen7972]

I feel like a healthy debate from opposing view points allows for critical thinking to reveal information and facts that either help bring results or prove a concept not worthwhile.

[@kindauncool]

I love arguing personally, it helps me see other people's points of view very clearly and easily.

[@adamd9166]

That is a good point about a healthy INTJ being a chameleon. I think that a suitably mature and healthy INTJ can appear or act as any other type as they need to be BECAUSE they can form a system for that type of behavior and because forming a system is so natural (Ni), and plugging in those actionable steps comes so naturally (Te). Of course, any sufficiently mature person of any type can do this to, but I think it may come most naturally to an INTJ because of that NiTe INTJs might be the Magikarp of MBTI types, but that is just my opinion lol

[@justcallmejon22]

Bro! Magickarp?! I always thought of myself as Misty's Psyduck but not Magikarp 😂

[@adamd9166]

@justcallmejon2022 we have a rough start but once we hit level 20? Oh boy, look out lol.

[@BashaerB-h2c]

This is SO spot on 👌

[@clouddhi2644]

I recently discovered that my type is actually INTJ and not INFJ and your video has helped me to understand that INTJs can also be quite good at comforting people. I feel like the mbti community depicts the unhealthy INTJ instead of the healthy one and doubts whether INTJs can be good in general. Of course I can see why, but this situation had added much more to my confusion about what my type is, since I struggle with people pleasing as a result of social anxiety and initially thought that this was Fe. Thank you for this video, it made me appreciate myself a little more and accept that healthy INTJs exist too, since I was only seeing some really toxic/unhealthy INTJ memes online.

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm happy to hear that my video helped! I agree that INTJs presented online are typically unhealthy and it's time to break that stereotype! We're a lot more balanced that protrayed and I can assure you that we're more liked and social compared to the memes. Enjoy your journey of self-discovery fellow INTJ, you got this ✊

[@m.a.i.c]

I have exactly the same issue with people pleasing, and the fact that I'm afraid so much to hurt someone's feeling made me doubt in being INTJ I even thought I might be ENTJ, cause I like to share my knowledge to make people function better, more efficient, I like to cheer them to remember that they can accomplish a lot (things that some sources say that INTJ can't have) So thanks for that movie and comments, I think that now I know for... Hm, maybe not sure but for 99.97% 😛

[@567ohyeah]

Re: 10:30 - “wild” is accurate! 😂 so many times, as I witness the feelings on display, I’m thinking what is happening and why is this person spending this much time and energy living and expressing this “feeling”, why!? Like are they trying to make me feel certain way?? Because - no thank you, I’m responsible for my own feeling, and I don’t have time right now to feel. Btw- this channel is soooooo good!!! I’ve never ever felt so understood. I couldn’t stop watching your content. Thank you!! Your existence proves that I’m not alone in this world living in my head. Haha 😂 thanks! ❤

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you for watching and I'm happy o hear that you're enjoying the content 😊

[@metrazeltina2708]

Intj female here. Thank you for this video! Holy shit! It's like on point - thanks for dispelling all the bs that are out there making stupid stereotypes about us. We are just people. And yes - I enjoy to go out and have a blast in the pub or party( hard part is to just get out, once we are out, it's good). And yes - sometimes I don't know when I had food last and I don't plan everything about my life. I have a plan that's like big picture plan, I have no problem to take things as they come in day to day life. Also - yes. I have had hard time understanding how is that the other people aren't able to put their emotions / feelings aside in order to just get something done. I have always been able to. But now I understand as Im just older and have kids and such. I guess what I'm trying to say is - thanks for making me feel seen and put words / validate the things that I had been thinking about before ❤

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you for the kind words! It's always interesting to me how similar INTJs experience the world and that we usually experience similar struggles. I'm not a father yet but I've been an Uncle most of my life and have taken Se/Si qualities from a lot of my family members especially the eating part when kids are involved. Take care of our next generation Mama INTJ ❤

[@heatherw9442]

I developed a plan in order to get the best out of people. It is easier for me to make changes to how I communicate and make other people feel comfortable to achieve what needs to be done. I also developed my small talk ability. I had to develop my ability to show empathy. I have empathy, I just never showed it. I have found that these skills have helped me be more successful with other people even though it is not my default mode. I had to work at it. I love being around people, concerts, the beach, museums…I just can’t do it for long periods of time.

[@justcallmejon22]

You sound like a well-rounded person 😀

[@heatherw9442]

@@justcallmejon22 I like to avoid aggravation.

[@BashaerB-h2c]

I can relate to this as an INTJ female. I taught myself how to appreciate small talk as it is and use it as practice for polishing my social skills. I've also realized if you listen attentively with empathy, people are much more willing to go past small talk and open up about themselves which can lead to interesting conversations. I learned to tone down my intense gaze by having a more relaxed look combined with a lingering smile as people talked to me. This helped immensely and opened many doors that competence and hard work wouldn't be able to open. As you said though, it's a side I can only hold up for so long. Just like when Cinderella had to leave before midnight, I make sure I leave before my socializing energy is drained and people start to witness my standoffish side.

[@WalkScripture]

ENFP here and one of my favorite people is an INTJ, some of my closest friends are INFJ or ENTJ. Love my introverted friends because they are so much more intentional with their time and energy. You know where you stand with them

[@justcallmejon22]

ENFPs are one of my favorites 🙂

[@WalkScripture]

@@justcallmejon22 yes! Our personalities just balance each other so well, yet we can envision possibilities like so many can't

[@sylviaowega3839]

You were made for the INTJ!

[@DefconDelta88]

Also mature Fi is like a fucking super power, lol. Life is SO much easier. Also, people are a lot more interesting than younger me gave them credit for. Just dumb and impulsive and emotionally driven.

[@jonn_mace_80_95_]

Awesome video and accurate as it gets. INTJ approved!

[@Chrupignat]

I hate having arguments. They are a complete waste of time in most cases and the only reason I might get into argument is when somebody tries to force their views on me or says/does utter bullshit.

[@justcallmejon22]

Agreed! It's only when they hit a nerve where the gloves are off 💪

[@julezmassicott9231]

Thank you Jon for this. I found this video to be very encouraging....I recently learnt that I am an INTJ (in spring of 2021). That, in of itself explained a lot for me and helped me to accept and love myself (evenmore) as a rare female, in deeper and more profound ways. With the conviction of knowing that I can confidently live out my granted divine purposes, in my own unique beautiful ways, as I was created to do and be ...... I now live openly, courageously/boldly and happily as my authentic self ..... in 'a small town - unhealthy mindset' community (whose ignorance use too emotionally and spiritually oppress me). Thus, once I was like Batman, living two lives; one life for public viewing; and the next hidden life for my own authentic heroic capacity expressions..... Now I have (prayerfully) merged or aligned myself (in emo-spiritually advance manners) where by I am just being fully functional or healthy as I can be, whether in a private or public setting..... This has placed a few influencial-narrow-minded figures in my life, in a state of confusion as to who I am really to them, and how are they to handle this newer, openly-bold (not accepting your disrespect any more) me. (Poor them)..... Mean while I am currently working out, how to proactively use the internet to expand a healthy-functional-circle of personalities around me, so that I can continue to mature in my emo-spiritual intelligence and allow myself to be authentically me in wider-broader circles......So thanks again for sharing your story in this regard, as it has helped me to see (and confirm) that yes, there are psychologically healthy people (like me) out there, and I am most definitely not alone.

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm happy to hear that this video helped you out. Never feel like you're alone, you're never alone ✊

[@sylviaowega3839]

It’s more the INTP that enjoys more heart-felt debates about politics, philosophy, or any other discipline. My INTJ hubby doesn’t enjoy debating at all.

[@justcallmejon22]

Yeah..it's a waste of time for INTJs if we don't think we'd learn anything from the convo 😁

[@DefconDelta88]

I'm VERY lucky to have an ENTP sister. We're thick as theives and the ways we support each other in our strengths and weaknesses is fantastic. It's also therapeutic as fuck knowing I'm not insane because our mom is a covert narcissist and THAT shit is so goddamn complicated to unpack.

[@justcallmejon22]

Your sister sounds like a cool person.

[@debbiewilder4738]

I had narcissist step mom from 5, marry narcissist, of course. Yes its crazy at first but once you get a foothold on the list of character traits of a toxic person Its starts fall in place like a puzzle. I would share but you probably already know. Take care of you no one esle will. ♡

[@acelguevarra2371]

Let me guess, she's an ESFJ?

[@silene9803]

Why ESFJ? Narcissists can be any type.

[@sylviaowega3839]

My mom was a narcissist, and it was very difficult as she continually neglected my brothers and I, mainly just took care of herself and not our needs, and our mom-daughter relationship was very problematical. -INTP

[@Afya20yrsold-rn6nx]

I don’t really like doing small talk. I feel like it’s wasting of my time. And i do enjoy having an intellectual debate with my close friends. But honestly I realized that small talk is needed sometimes in society (I don’t really enjoy it but I think I must do it)

[@crystalpink2929]

So I never engage with KZbin channels, just not normally my thing, but I have found your channel so enjoyable I find myself commenting and engaging more than I ever have before with a channel. I think INTJs are great at breaking the mold on a variety of subjects. You were talking about how INTJ's are not often artist because we are so critical of our work. I don't completely agree with you on that. Though we can be very critical of our work especially in an unhealthy state, we can be artist too. Art is my best emotional outlet and I did show my art in galleries when I was younger when I cared enough to do so. Now I create for the simple satisfaction of doing so and the emotional release that I get from it. I just put it up on my walls and give it away to friends when they express that they love one of my pieces. I'm like you love it great take it, unless I'm really attached to it. But I take great satisfaction in calling a piece of art done. At this point in my life this is more of a secrete part of myself. Something I keep hidden between the shadow and the soul. It often suprises new people in my life to find out that I am an artist and they are often even more shocked when they see my art, but it is a very big part of who I am.

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm always happy to hear when an INTJ has an artistic outlet because I'm so envious. I've learned now after my channel has been around for a while that there are a few INTJs like you and it warms my heart because it breaks the stereotype. I'm also glad that you're enjoying my videos, life sucks going through it alone, so let's improve together ✊

[@crystalchristensen7972]

You are very appreciated ✅

[@padrepime]

you made my world make sense. Thank you

[@justcallmejon22]

You're welcome ✊

[@AyoWhatTheFrick]

I’ve been confused on my type for a while now. I’ve always thought I was INTJ, but I wasn’t really done healing when I started to get into MBTI and I wasn’t close with any of my classmates since I hadn’t met them beforehand. Now that I’ve healed, I find myself between INFJ and INTJ because my surroundings are now filled with thise who I know closely. I like psychology, and my values are controversial, if I said what I thought in the way that I think about it then I would definitely have no friends. I’m also usually the therapist friend. It’s close, but I don’t really care personally about others, and I could feel guilty about it. I’m either an INTJ that acts like INFJ or the inverse.

[@justcallmejon22]

I understand what you're going through because I once considered INFJ as my MBTI type as well. What helped me determine my type was learning about cognitive functions, primarily Te & Fe. I realized that I rarely ever utilize Fe and arrived at the conclusion that I'm an INTJ. Good luck on your journey and don't forget that MBTI is a tool and shouldn't be your identity ✊

[@75V37K4]

I thought I was unhealthy because I don't match the intj stereotypes. I can be so entp look alike when having fun or going playful with my bf. Also can feel myself intp when overthinking abstract terms too far in cosmic scales. entj in me shows up in stressful situations and I go very bossy. But from the very beginning to the very end I'm intj-a, because everything I do is just a part of the plan. Some stereotypical memes and youtube videos confuse me at times, that's why I thought I might be in unhealthy state. I do smile and have a zero problems in social interaction (yet not liking it much), I'm not sarcastic (hope so) and like 'dad's jokes', can feel deeply and can show it, can be vocal if I care. Usually misunderstood, yes, but it doesn't make me hateful towards people. They are just different from me and I'm okay with that. Thank you for this video. It's kinda relief to know I'm not the only one intj who is actually normal (if I can use this term, lol).

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm happy that this video helped you! One of my favorite from the movie Alice in Wonderland is, "We're all a little mad here" 🙂

[@mechanesthesia]

Super refreshing. Must be said. Totally resonate with this

[@justcallmejon22]

💯

[@rameshcppodcasts]

✨ You're amazing. INFJ here.

[@justcallmejon22]

Thank you INFJ 🙏

[@priskasama]

I just discovered your channel. Thank you for taking the time to make those interesting videos, I'm binge watching while working :) I'm 30, and can't thank my family enough (dad ESTP - mom ESFP - sisters ENFP & INFJ) for making me learn the "hard way" how to Se and Fi better (dad and mom made me sigh and stressed so many times as a child & teen lol) I really do consider myself a healthy INTJ now, and life indeed, feels way better when you learn how to appreciate present moment (Se is fun once the time is made for it not gonna lie), understand yourself and others better + reaching your own goals. Would you be able to make a video to give out some tips for small talks? or even books recommandation? I became good at it according to some friends, but because it's not natural I still feel like I suck at it.

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm always happy to hear about other INTJs that grew up in a well-rounded environment. Although it was difficult in the moment, it really did help accelerate our lives, to make us comfortable with cognitive functions that some people don't start working on until later in life. I've been considering making a video on small talk since I get that request more often than I expected. Who knows, I might drop that video one day 😂

[@priskasama]

@@justcallmejon22 Thank you for that, it's not easy to make a video about this indeed ahah

[@sanzidasalim2737]

Hey John, First of all THANK YOU for existing. For some reason, I find this video unbelievably reassuring. I might sound exaggerated when I sayI feel like I'm in a dark room, sitting in front of my desk, head down and I hear my older self, who's more mature, has seen a lot and trying to talk some sense into their younger self. Maybe it's because of the way you say or maybe it's all the facts and data you are illustrating or maybe the combination of both. Whatever, Please keep guiding all the lost/younger INTJ like this forever. You don't how much you are helping. I don't usually write long comments like this in any yt video, but here you go 🤷 However, I have a request. Which is, can you make a video on how to embrace vulnerability as an INTJ? I've been dealing with it for quite a long time. Like even when I try to vent, it goes so wrong, I end up being misunderstood and judged. I don't know why is that.. But it sucks for sure. Also my mother tells me nowadays that I lack femininity in me and she suspects it to be some kind of hormonal imbalance, which is funny. But yeah, the matter is serious. though 😂

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm happy to hear that my video was good enough to make you leave a comment! You have to constantly put yourself in vulnerable situations and accept your vulnerability in order to learn how to be vulnerable. It's like learning a new skillset, you can't master it unless you practice. You have to do something new to get something you never had before. In regards to being misunderstood, you're going to be misunderstood your entire life no matter what you do and in every aspect of your life such as friendship, work, and relationship. The best thing is to accept it and ignore it. The people that care about you will try to at least accept that they don't understand you. I'm not sure how to handle your question about femininity but I will say that my mom has made comments about me 'lacking emotions' when it comes to family members. Our relationship became better once she accepted that I won't change. It was tough, and i went a long timeframe where I didn't speak to her, but it eventually happened. If I had the chance to handle it differently, I would've just spoken to her more directly over dinner instead of blowing up on her. But she was also willing to change as well, that's one of the reason why I love her. I'm not sure if that helped but I made a video about INTJs being misunderstood. Check it out when you get the chance and read the comments from other INTJs. Best of luck

[@DreamDraka]

Can you do a video on the best methods of communicating with each personality type?

[@justcallmejon22]

Absolutely! I plan on addressing other MBTI types beginning next year so stay tuned! Is there anything specific that you'd like me to address when it comes to communication?

[@DreamDraka]

@@justcallmejon22 How to adjust the INTJ communication style to better get along and communicate our thoughts to others without them feeling attacked? I know we can't control how others feel, but more like the path of least resistance.

[@justcallmejon22]

Gotcha. I'll make sure to address that in the video. Thanks for the recommendation!

[@ramsesemerson]

In grad school, I had friends who would decide I'd been locked up in my apartment too long and drag me outside. INTJs need those friends.

[@justcallmejon22]

I'm happy to hear that you found friends like that! I hope those people very dearly in my heart 🙂

[@Cashcash08]

Small talk. Dang. I guess that's a give away that I'm not a healthy INTJ. I don't even want to engage in a group conversation if the topic is too shallow.

[@justcallmejon22]

Once you see it as a tool, you'll start appreciating it ✊

[@Cashcash08]

@@justcallmejon22 do you even do small talk with people you're not interested to know?

[@Paintlor]

I am an INTJ too and all I want to say is yes i sometines engage small talk with people. It happens mostly with introverts but still. We live in a socienty and it's really helpfull skill.

[@purplefox1207]

​@@Cashcash08 when you use it as a tool, you only use it when you want to use it...

[@sylviaowega3839]

I always wonder how two sensors can produce two introverted NT’s! My mom was the staunch, aloof ISTJ and my dad was an ISTP, but you I wonder how they produced one INFJ, whom was formally an INTJ before he got his mental illness, an a strong INTP, which is myself. Only my 2nd oldest was an ISFJ, the only sensor.

[@justcallmejon22]

If we could predict a person's type through genealogy, then we'd be living in a world like that movie "Gattaca" I bet 😂

[@sylviaowega3839]

@@justcallmejon22 It had also been found via research that we tend to be more our grandparents than our parents. For instance Charles Darwin was much more like his grandfather than his far more practical minded father. Darwin was an INTP, whilst his physician father was an ISTJ like my mother.

[@waytoocrazytomedicatemythe5028]

What about an INTJ that has fell off into a world of mental instability and getting worse? Or can an INTJ develop one or more than one personality disorder?

[@justcallmejon22]

It sounds like you're going through tough times fellow INTJ and professional help such as therapy is always the answer if things get bad enough. Personality disorders have nothing to do with MBTI. MBTI is a tool to help a person understand themselves better not the origin. Good luck fellow INTJ, the community is here if you need us ✊

[@pugninja7037]

I find it depends, as a entp.my ti is hmm blunt, if yr fi is unhealthy they really will see ti as evil.

[@ElizabethRodriguez-qy4hy]

INTJs in the comment section, you can completely ignore that "no amount of logic will change someone's feelings" or "people do not want you to solve their problems, they want you to listen to them and validate their feelings" if you are talking with an INTP. Yes, we NEED your logical reasoning. We NEED your problem-solving abilities that is how we solve our problems not crying. If you don't use it, you will be put in the stupid zone. INTP and INTJ are supposed to be a perfect pair and they help each other a lot. We NEED you, INTJs❤ Don't stupidize yourselves to please feelers. Because they do not use their te or ti for you. They CAN repress their feelings. They don't do it because it is hard for them but it is equally hard for us to engage with our low functions. So fuck them 😊

[@justcallmejon22]

I love the aggressiveness of the comment! I think the misunderstanding is that I'm focusing on feelings instead of logic. I'm sure most INTJs will gladly engage in a logically discussion and pick it apart but feelings and logic are two different things that deserves two different approaches.

[@Ovale-tt]

Hey Jon ! What do you mean by "Feelers can't do anything until that feeling gets justified" ? I don't really get the idea 😊

[@justcallmejon22]

There are times when Feelers won't be able to operate normally if they feel too much emotion. It's normal for everyone but the threshold for Feelers are typically lower than Thinker is all I meant.

[@Ovale-tt]

@@justcallmejon22 Thank you! And thank you for the content 😉

[@hollistantang9469]

Why would intj stay in the room instead of going out to see the world? Me : I got a very interesting book and can't stop reading it Machiavelli grounded me for 6 days, sun tzu 7, and so on.. Not that they are that thick, but I have a tendency to reread and trying to "decode" the lesson In fact I mostly re-read sun tzu to let me do some introspective evaluation of current situation and how I should realize my plan... And wow so that is why arguing with someone using learnt facts and calculations sometimes drain my energy out reeeal fast... But at the same time I can almost instantly lash out when someone said stupid stuff...

[@justcallmejon22]

It sounds like you found your comfort zone! Friendly reminder to not forget to go outside and catch the sunshine sometimes 😅

[@hollistantang9469]

@@justcallmejon22 I have to go outside for work still, and sometimes going cycling all alone... By the way is it just me or is it INTJ thing that when someone (usually my daughter) hid my stuff, I will have hard time trying to find it?

[@RunToEternity]

An Unhealthy IntJ: Listens to Into the Sun by Desmo Donte

[@ladymagveg]

🤗

[@g.m.5590]

This is my 3rd comment, and I usually don't, but just curious about the woman's right thing and when you got recruited by the feminists.... University?

[@justcallmejon22]

Men of quality doesn't fear equality. That's one of the key takeaway of this video.

[@g.m.5590]

@@justcallmejon22 With all due respect, I wasn't looking for some feminist puppetry when I asked my question about if you attended University. Plus I was under the impression the video was about the health of INTJs.... If it makes you feel better answering, know I'm a female INTJ and such information is important for the project I'm working on to help clean up the mess these idiots who "look like me" but "hate men" have been making of our society for the past century. I understand if you are afraid to be honest in public, my email is on my channel and it won't hurt my feelings if you delete this comment. I'd like to connect, I have many questions about your prospective and experience. Btw your channel just came up in my suggested and listened to quite a few of your videos, good stuff, super spot on... minus the feminist rhetoric 😆

[@SUPREMELEGEND]

​@@justcallmejon22 🤮

[@rehtaeh]

@@justcallmejon22 I can't believe I've never heard that before. You should put it on a t-shirt! That's some healthy masculinity right there. ❤

[@Cashcash08]

Dude I like your content but please work on the audio. I already have my volume speaker at 90% but I'm still having a hard time hearing you while working.

[@justcallmejon22]

Yeah..no one told me about my low audio until a few videos after. You can easily see the difference between my earlier videos compared to my more recent videos 😅

[@Cashcash08]

@@justcallmejon22 yeah I noticed it too after Watching more of your videos. I like your content! Best Intj channel so far. I like that you speak clearly.