Signs of a real friend

[@ironeousaudio]

That moment when you leave for college and everyone’s like *“stayyyyy in touchhhhh”* (never hear from them again)

[@daylight5025]

Hundreds of them, and they are the ones who gossiped behind your back in the same high school

[@Utuberj0sh]

Also true when you leave from college

[@ironeousaudio]

My best friend and is my only friend from high school that I still knee in touch with and the rest clocked out of my life but that’s how it is unfortunately

[@ModernIntuitionist]

That made me think of this quote: "A real friend stabs you in the front" - Oscar Wilde

[@coin5207]

That moment when you're part of a larger friend group that splits into two halves bc of some drama and you're awkwardly stuck in the middle trying to keep in touch with both groups and eventually just end up alone

[@AyubuKK]

There’s also different levels of friends we have. Not every friend we have has to be really close to us. That doesn’t stop them from being your friend.

[@Wulfbloode]

So true. My community grows when I think like this

[@idealyst8292]

What makes that hard for me to accept is that someone I consider my friend might not reciprocate that sentiment, and then I'll look pretty foolish 😕

[@resqxe_1422]

And I hate when people think their friendship is superior because blah blah blah- all friendships are different as mentioned.

[@bobbysmith8095]

I think of everyone I like as acquaintance, close people as friend, and everyone else as other. I don't like labeling everyone as friend cuz we are never that close. I have like 3 friend and like 20 acquaintance.

[@ebuzzmiller34]

@@bobbysmith8095 Same. I break it down into people I see in social settings, people I see too infrequently to be close friends and people I know I can rely on. I have zero of the last one.

[@IKY94Zac]

Anna's therapist is a gem.

[@adaliagoh4861]

Anna is my online therapist

[@PavaNeo]

Maybe she comes up with these stuff by herself, but it sounds more authoritative to say a therapist told her.

[@pretty948]

Pavanblazze damn

[@larryANDlaurent]

how do you know she has a therapist?

[@baby_dino4737]

@@larryANDlaurent 3:58 she says kinda quotes her therapist

[@roberthsu4862]

Real friends aren’t the ones who hang out and have fun with you when you’re at a good position in life. Real friends are the ones who are by your side when you’re at the lowest point in your life.

[@Blorb-v3y]

beware of friends that can’t handle your success or you being happy though. Some ppl like to wallow in misery with others but won’t take well to their friend getting out of the misery. 😥

[@missmatti]

@@Blorb-v3y agreed! Good friends support you when you are low and celebrate you when things go well!

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Never had real friends.

[@sienamoreno3776]

As long as said friends dont neglect you and treat you poorly and use that time in their life as an excuse to be parasitic then you are the asshole

[@ryanciani3324]

yeahhhhhhhhh both arent true

[@SamElle]

Keeping friends is definitely super hard. I find that I am ALWAYS the one to reach out to people and if I don't reach out, we would go a loong period of time before we talk again. It makes me wonder if I never reach out, would the friendship just end there

[@soumyapande678]

Same sister same

[@avantigayxian952]

Same honey.

[@KBbess]

Currently wondering if i should ghost a "friend". I dont even know how long itll take until they realise i've gone.

[@SamElle]

@@soumyapande678 lol looks like we are all in these one-sided-ish friendships

[@SamElle]

@@avantigayxian952 ive considered stop reaching out and seeing what happens

[@iamlenamora]

Having a real friend nowadays is a real treasure, who agrees with me?

[@triasha3790]

Phone calls and weekly zoom chats have made quarantine fun

[@iamlenamora]

@@triasha3790 lol not that simple in the other side of the world haha

[@ironeousaudio]

I do, its a lot harder to find than people think 🤔

[@triasha3790]

@@iamlenamora that's true. I have friends and family on the other side of the world, but we make it work. Though we've been doing that our whole lives, so quarantine didn't make a difference there

[@ЗояКалайджиева]

I awlays has been.

[@marthentik]

My therapist always reminds me that it's great to have different friends for different activities and periods of life. A friend to have serious 1:1 conversations with, a friend you enjoy shopping with (includes a surface-level catch up only), a long-distance friend, and so on. It helps to ease off the pressure of finding "the one"!

[@changminkeybum]

Omg this is giving me inspiration to have many boyfriends hahahaha kidding

[@qowoxie7626]

@@changminkeybum LMFAO

[@msladypmodel]

Those are good points ur therapist pointed out. Imma implement it.

[@RainbowY0]

Thanks for sharing! Very grateful since this will help many people including myself!

[@DefectivePotato95]

I think the most important part is teaching kids to recognize not everything is true and to question their own beliefs once their old enough to understand basics of reality.

[@woobeewooo]

Might have to start at Christmas time..

[@roxanneconner7185]

I know a person who was brought up like this and now they're a conspiracy theorist because they can't bring themselves to have faith in authority about anything :P

[@courtrtney]

when i started question things as a kid it gave me depression LMAO

[@gaialicious]

breaking up with a best friend hurts more than breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend change my mind

[@woobeewooo]

It's true but I wish it wasn't ;-;

[@amy675fly]

Very true. So much time and airspace is given on healty romanicic relationships vs toxic ones, but friendships? No. Which is sad because romantic relationships, whether they last for days or years, are fewer in quantity than friendships. At least for me😊

[@LilDinoGuy]

What if your partner is your best friend?

[@amy675fly]

@@LilDinoGuy that's a good question! I wish I had an answer; I personally don't like dating my friends, but I know people who do and it works really well sonetimes. A few married couples I know started out as friends; they're happy!

[@LilDinoGuy]

@@amy675fly Yeah, I ask because my boyfriend started off as one of my closest friends, and I think that partners and best friends are far from mutually exclusive categories.

[@nicoleonfeels]

As you evolve, your friendships do too. One of the many cycles in life.

[@dalilaafina1693]

Real friend, it iss a rare speciesssssss

[@santox_digitalx1981]

Aye. Very hard to come by

[@katiefrolichman]

@The Bastard nope

[@VattanaThach]

I am real friend

[@spiderscurry5614]

Im blessed

[@chiz9785]

I’ve just had a really bad friendship break up with my best friend of 5 years who was like family to me, I realised I was having to change and cater myself to her needs and my own feeling were put on the back burner for her. When I realised this I started sticking up for myself and told her I didn’t like being spoke to in this manner and I feel like I’m not respected within this friendship, her response was that I was rude and selfish and a horrible friend when all I asked for was mutual respect. Thats when I realised that this wasn’t the friendship for me and opened my eyes to the wonderful people I already had in my life and how asking for my feelings to be respected is not me being selfish. Know your worth and don’t let anyone dictate who you are or your worth, you all deserve to be respected and loved. 💖

[@mary-je7lf]

queen, glad you didn’t let her guilt trip you💗

[@olabalu6597]

For me it is also the same. I have a friend with whom I am friends with for already seven years. And sadly she met a man, who changed her almost completely. Now, I don't even know what to talk with her about

[@yourlocaldemon2195]

You go!

[@dceasley]

Oh wow I feel this so much. When I was little I was never able to hold on to the few friendships I had and was convinced that every friendship should be made to last forever. It wasn’t until I was in my 20s that I made any lasting friendships and they usually lasted for 2-3 years. And when I could sense that I was losing a friend I felt like something was wrong with me. This mentality led me to hold on to relationships far longer than I should have especially when they were toxic. It didn’t really occur to me how friendships could operate similarly to romantic relationships. Just like with romantic relationships, you have to know what you want in a person. For me, honesty is super important. I have had friends who wouldn’t tell me when something was up and harbor negative feelings until it was too late to salvage the friendship. It’s also incredibly exhausting to deal with people who aren’t upfront with you since you end up second guessing everything. I would say I’m much happier with the friends I currently have and am trying my best to just appreciate my friendships in the moment and not worry about whether or not they last.

[@maggiequinn.]

I've been in the same boat too. Holding onto relationships longer even if they were toxic b/c I got sentimental and attached to these people shaming myself for getting tired. Until I realized these people didn't care about me or reciprocate my affection and loyalty as I did towards them. And it took a recent former friend taking my financial aid and gaslighting me and my mother to realize not only was the relationship toxic but in the end, no matter what I did I would never be a real friend or human to her. It was agonizing but it made me see and take time for the people who matter in my life my mother who had cancer at the time and above all myself b/c if I truly want to take care of others I needed to take care of myself. And relationships take time and commitment and no one should ever feel obligated to give your precious time and life to someone who doesn't respect you or that time. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for sharing your post it was genuine and beautifully written. And I just wanted to let you know from my perception you are a very self-aware and compassionate person who is going to go far in life. And anyone would be lucky to know and have you as a friend or companion. I know life is hard and you've been bruised but rest assured you are not alone in your experiences and emotions. When you share these thoughts they help others in their life path and inner self. And the last thing I want to say is you are always worthy of love no matter what so take care and may you have a wonderful rest of your life.

[@dindayangmanaya]

thank you

[@lovingme974]

This. This has been why my friendships have ended, too much built up stuff that no one wants to address and by the time they do, it's too late.

[@caitlinwardle5636]

Honestly when I'm older I want to be like my parents, they found friends that are as weird as them and they get together all the time. I grew up with there kids, I consider many of them second parents, people who love and care for eachother in a real and meaningful way. My parents taught me what real friends should look like.

[@EF-kk3vh]

That’s so cute!

[@seth_piano]

“Don’t call people out; call people in” - advice I got from a high schooler who is more wise than I will ever be. Meaning, we don’t want to change what words and actions we will and won’t accept. Rather, we change how we react by asking ourselves if we are trying to make them feel bad about themselves or if we want to give them a path forward and a chance to do better.

[@m.j.638]

I got lucky. Met my best friend 3 years ago. We don't talk every day. But we are honest with each other and when we feel like hanging out we give each other a call.

[@bethanypo1809]

Aww that's wonderful. Respecting one another's boundaries is so important. Thanks for sharing

[@ryanciani3324]

that only happens on tv. nice try

[@eduardomaciel1757]

Learning that in any relationship if they make you an option but never a priority, well that person does not deserve you.

[@Pete_R63]

I'm learning that as a man, it is harder and harder to make friends as you get older. Life is not like the sitcoms. Most folks already have all those slots filled and really don't have any room for you in their lives. I guess I am glad that I enjoy my own company.

[@mario125ww]

No thats not true however i agree that it is harder but not impossible. There are people who are willing to have another friend in their life but they are not going to let you know. Its going to be more effort and it won't feel natural at all. However you will luck up and your social will take off afterwards

[@hellolucy2074]

Says the guy who’s profile picture is with 3 guys hanging out lol 🤪

[@Pete_R63]

@@hellolucy2074 Had to giggle at that but, and there is a but, that is a picture from a Meet & Greet with the band Blue October. If you don't know their music, (shameless plug here) check it out. They are extraordinary. Never have I gone so nuts over a band so fast. I do have 3 videos on my channel of songs they did at concerts here in GA. Thanks for the chuckle! ; )

[@l0n3w01f]

As a 34 year old, I have my three close personal friends from college times but most of my new friends or i guess acquaintances I've made at work. It's hard outside of that world.

[@Pete_R63]

@@l0n3w01f I prefer the word acquaintances myself to define a lot of people, along with 'colleagues', 'people from work', etc. I have 23 more years on me than you and I am retired so I often joke that commenting on KZbin is the only social interaction I have most days. I have a friend I've known since kindergarten that is a state away and we call or email most days. Now that I retired, the people I know from work have fallen away and it is only me doing any work to keep in touch with them. Since I am not in their day to day orbit, you lose touch. I have a sort of set vision of what needs to occur to be a friend and I don't get that from folks anymore. Fortunately, the things I like to do and are in some of my channel videos, are all things I can do alone or rather I don't need to find someone else to go and do it with me. A line from a Priscilla Ahn song says "I never had that many friends growing up so I learned to be, okay with me, just me" - Great song, it is called 'Fine on the Outside'. Okay, I'm rambling too much, time to mow the lawn. Cheers

[@kye6031]

Anna: "your central nervous system can tell you more than your annoying brain" Also Anna: *shows peripheral nervous system" Also Anna: *assumes the brain isnt part of the central nervous system*

[@SuperQuwertz]

I laughed out loud lmao xD

[@zarellen4339]

Hahahaha this is my kind of comment! Thanks for making me laugh 😂

[@hutshutrules123]

i wasnt sure if i wanted to comment on this lmao but i thought the same 😂

[@TheTrueHolyDarkness]

You called her out.

[@f.p1758]

Lol But I thought peripheral and central is a little diff? One's from the brain, the other's from the spine no?

[@yasminezoweil]

I think it is normal that people could drift apart, but it is especially hard to accept, when your previous group of friends can stay in touch and make an effort to remain friends with each other, but not with you. When you are the one constantly reaching out and getting no replies or excuses, then finding out they are still all going out and talking.

[@BPDouglass]

I've had the same best friend since 2005. I think it's all about growing and understanding each other's changes and not hating on one another.

[@astarrysky_]

Same here, she and I have been besties since day one of kindergarten, and I totally agree with you. Its all about patience and empathy. To this day, she and I can go for months without speaking and pick up right where we left off as if no time has passed.

[@ryanciani3324]

no you havent. this isnt tv. thats not realistic

[@AlexBlank]

There are as many types of friendships as there are friendships. We try to create models and ideals, but sometimes we need to discover the natures of our connections as we go along.

[@susMeowMiau]

I have 404 real friends, but they also nowhere to be found.

[@jessedaniels4494]

Nicely done

[@johnypanta6208]

Then they are not real...

[@ApequH]

Hahaha

[@mitziecuesta9342]

Error

[@Iwillreviveyou]

I'm a software developer and I can totally relate. Always sit in his computer and code, and this I git used to it. Also, const hasPartner = false;

[@leticiakyere-yeboah9581]

No one teaches you to set boundaries in friendships…it’s very important.

[@LashanR]

I've had some friends where we were super close and would talk all the time, then after I came back from travels we'd meet up once and then never again. No hard feelings, no actual trigger or event, we just drifted. I've tried to keep up friendships while far away (to the point of running through a list or checklist every now and then), but it's so exhausting that it makes more sense to focus on the people who are in your present location, and a handful of people far away that you connect the most with. When I or they ebb and flow into each other's lives again, we reconnect. That's just how life goes I suppose 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@jasmcrism]

Yes yes! I want to know too when I hurt someone's feelings. I would appreciate when friends tell me I have hurt them, coz it means they trust that I would understand their point and that they value the relationship. They won't just brush it off or keep it inside. Transparency is important in a friendship. Oh well, they might have other reasons for not sharing their hurt buuuut, I still prefer a relationship where we openly express ourselves lovingly--whether happy or sad emotions, because we know it is a safe space.

[@danielhart7435]

Feelings?

[@samanthapialda248]

Tbh, I’m looking back at a certain friendship of mine from a while back that had misunderstandings and got into a heated argument. Now looking back at it too, I also think it’s important to not be too sensitive so that you and the other person can make room for telling each other how you respectfully feel and/or if you need space to calm down your emotions before solving the problem rationally. After she triggered me by saying “my apology wasn’t enough” I truly had a valid reason to be angry because to me that also translated as “I wasn’t enough to her” and I got extremely emotional and overwhelmed after she said those things then vented off on social media. Looking back on it to this day, I wish I wasn’t so sensitive that time to actually have the guts to tell her individually that she hurt me first. I appreciate honestly in a friend as well but I also value that they use non-triggering words to explain why they’re upset/disappointed with me. After it all happened, through a group chat text I can see she was making an effort to ask why I was hurt which made me a little bit better, but yet I did not have enough time to emotionally heal before responding maturingly and practically. It was unfortunately 4-5 months after and I found out she unfollowed me on all social media. It was heartbreaking but at the same time I’ve learned to accept it all. A piece of advice for everyone. It’s not good to be too sensitive. It can hinder a lot of possibilities. Learn to let go and forgive both yourself and that person who’s hurt you.

[@Natalie-101]

Anna is our realest friend. And therapist. And mom. And older sister💖

[@pluglife7381]

To me a real friend isn’t afraid of calling you out on your BS even if you get mad at them. And they know when you actually need “help.” They’re not just going to let you drown. They’re the hand that pulls you out.

[@ryanciani3324]

more likethey are scared to call you out, they will let you drown and they leave you to cry by yourself cause they stand you up

[@chag.3141]

3 Questions to ask yourself when you're evaluating who is a real friend: 1. How does my body respond to this person? 4:28 2. How much can you be your authentic self? 4:45 3. If you ask this person for feedback, can they be respectfully and lovingly honest? 4:55

[@rainbowdemon5033]

I have so severe social anxiety, there is no human being on this green earth I'll feel good about when getting to know them

[@woobeewooo]

Sameee I don't have a single friend I can really be myself around

[@lauracruzmusic9604]

The same here 😑

[@ModernIntuitionist]

You guys should all become friends with each other. I bet you'd have a lot in common, and you seem to watch similar content

[@woobeewooo]

If y'all r down? :v

[@POPDATA]

Yup me too

[@meinbow]

I think the saddest part of not having so much friends, it's when you actually find someone but he/she has already chosen someone too.

[@ellyoddle]

honestly i’ve gone through more friendship breakups than romantic partners, so i love that concept of the former is being discussed more lately.

[@noworneversoulbeach]

Instead of people letting me know when I hurt their feelings they’d rather plot to hurt me back and I usually end up apologizing for it anyway without knowing what they were plotting. I feel like my life is some sort of cartoon.

[@zene4144]

i feel like i’m going through a transitional phase of just growing into myself and a friendship i’ve had for over a decade is crumbling things just don’t make sense w us like they used to navigating that whole situation and then having this pop up anna are you stalking me ?!?!

[@woobeewooo]

I can relate :((( But I think it's important to try to have an honest conversation about that before cutting them off, they might not have realized and might start making more of an effort. Friendships can be saved

[@ename588]

I agree with the 1st reply, but if it doesn't fit anymore or they hate on your growth know that it's okay and it's good. When you grow, you outgrow habits, people, everything. Change is the only constant in life and if you're growing you're doing something right! Much love!

[@alisa_and_pup]

@@ename588 ^^^^100% yes to all that. You got this boo

[@zene4144]

@@woobeewooo thank you! i really hope so

[@zene4144]

@@ename588 this is really what i needed thank you so much and that’s very sweet!

[@floor5188]

Thanks so much for adressing this romanticized idea of friendship! So often I've made myself feel like an unworthy person not having quality friendships that last. Friendships are portraited as to evolve naturally any without effort, which makes it feel like a failure when this doesn't happen for you like that. It's feels embarresing to talk about struggeling with this, as you don't want to come across as desperate and it makes me feel that consiously working on friendships is a taboo and that you must be "socially disabled" to think about it like this. Time to break this taboo, thanks for your tips! xx

[@shar1386]

To me friendship is as strong as a relationship. I and my friend have really clear communication. We tell it when something is bothering us. We don't assume that everything is forever we work for it because we find that important.

[@shahab814]

Its hard keeping friends, when you're in school, it's easy, as you see them every day, but once everyone has their own stuff to do it's hard.

[@josephkiley525]

This was one of your most bold and I am so here for it. Tear them down. I’m all about culling poor relationships and calling people out on their entitlements. I loved it as always. You’re great

[@itskitty808]

Thank you. You're honestly a gem. I was told that you need to do this or that to hold onto friendships. But you helped me realize that I just need to be myself. It's hard, especially when your friends are the type of people that are think that your the absolute worst and don't even see that they themselves are the worst. One thing, I learned is to look at what kind of friends your friends have. If they hang around bullies and toxic people, then they aren't wroth your time. They're just going cause you too much stress. You shouldn't have to be in a group where you aren't yourself. Also, if they act like you're the only one that has anxiety, then leave. Everyone gets it. If they can't help you, or just don't want to help you, then find someone that will. Also, emotionally people are no good friends because they are too concerned with their feelings and the feelings of others. In other words they are very sensitive.

[@missxyz4963]

omg. finally someone said this. When you said "how does my body respond to this person?" I literally felt my cheeks burn, and mentally drained when I had to interact with her. shes kind and everything but i cant handle her energy no more

[@milleirafernandez5637]

same here 🥺

[@Iiiivvvvvyy]

I've been friends with my best friend for 12 years now. She's been through the smallest and biggest things in my life. I honestly don't know what would I do without her. I am 100% we are friends for life. ❤️

[@emilyleon941]

I wish I could've seen this 1 or 2 years before, when I used to blame myself about breaking up with a friend (or cutting them off, basically). I also stayed much longer than I should've and it was toxic. I'm still learning how to spot a good friend and a loyal one. Its really difficult now days. Thanks for this

[@Goldforever-vp8zq]

Same and I reach out and I’m a introvert. I didnt reach out to test a friend and it her took like 3 months and I had a talk with her about my honest feelings and gave detailed examples I even admitted that when I started the friendship I had intimacy issues but now that I’m older I want true deep friendships and I cried. I listened to her feedback She didn’t cry but not saying she had to but it shows she just not in a place to be really vurnable for the friendship I want. She just wasn’t emotionally invested like I was. She did a little for like 2 weeks then went back to exactly how she was before. She says she cares and I think she does in her own way but her actions fail to show too many times. I’m starting to wonder if I should treat future friendships like dating a guy not choosing a friend off chemistry because we could talk for hours but off their emotional availability and willingness to grow into the friendship. It’s just so heartbreaking 😓

[@uwu-sd4sf]

"your central nervous system" "shows peripheral nervous system*

[@SexiSchnitzel]

hahahah

[@reneekauts6065]

Anna: your central nervous system is amazing Also anna: annoying brain

[@khadijah9604]

Lmaoo

[@johnypanta6208]

Don't be like that...

[@yuuri9064]

Wait, could you explain the difference? Is the central nervous system the brain + spinal cord?

[@paranoidpen910]

By the time we figure out what works for us, we are too old to actually apply all those epiphanies into our lives! I do love the gratitude with which you view a toxic situation or person. I kind of needed to hear that right now.

[@T3hArchAngelG]

I sometimes wonder if those Disney Princess movies we were spoon-fed his children messed up a bunch of people's chances at a healthy relationship.

[@BigGoronSword]

Look up the song "I'm Mad at Disney". It's a teen-bop kind of song, but it's there

[@tipsybass7060]

Well, Disney pretty much stole all Hans Christian Andersen’s work, and watered it down. The real fairy tales don’t have happy endings. Because that’s not real life. Look it up. I took a class in college about his works.

[@buffysummrs]

SO TRUE ABOUT THE CHILDHOOD IDEA THAT IT'S BFFS FOREVER!! I used to have a hard time letting go of my friends, especially those I were really close to and when we grew apart, I lashed out and it really affected me badly. Now, I understand that it's a part of life and if people want to stay, they can put in the effort. I don't chase after people anymore; I saw a post that said "never give up is for work, school, goals etc. and if it's meant to be, it will happen is meant more for personal relationships" and I like to think it's a pretty good tip

[@nii_yuhh]

I could not be more grateful when I say this: I have a beautiful and healthy friendship that also comprises all the above signs with my best friend. We have been friends for 6 years now and still counting. I hope it stays the same. Love and healing to all of you and I wish everyone has beautiful friendships and relationships.

[@cephi]

i was just overthinking before sleeping about how all my friendships seem ingenuine, then i woke up and this is the first notif i see... how

[@ElaineTan520]

When I grow up, I won't tell people who I know we will never meet again "stay in touch" or "let's meet next time"

[@charleschiemekaekeogu6908]

It's a small world, you never know when you'll meet someone again.

[@DudetaketheBus]

@@charleschiemekaekeogu6908 agreed, you also never know WHERE you'll run into them. I ran into a childhood friend who I haven't seen in about 15 years, and I saw her in Japan.

[@idoscreamforicecream]

No one is your friend, no one is your enemy- everyone is your teacher

[@katyadade1041]

Idk, finding adult friends is hard. My best friends are my friends for 10-20 years (and I’m 27). But adult friends come and go 😢

[@mybittersweetme]

I find this to be my case too. I’ve known my oldest friend for 21 years now and my newest friend (currently my best friend) for 11 years. Every person I’ve met since I was 22 (i’m 29 now) has been a “temporary” or “shallow” friendship, meaning we would talk about our lives and likes and stuff, enjoy each other’s company, but never really going deeper than that and finally growing apart after 2 or 3 years. I think that maybe before all adult responsibilities came, we had more time to bond and grow close, now, everyone is busy and it’s harder to reach that level of closeness with someone unless you’re actually in an active pursuit of a new friend (like dating but for a friend). I guess i’m the opposite of Anna, I’ve always found it hard to make new friends, but my friendships do last forever.

[@rhondaganda]

I feel you. It's backed up by studies. This article in particular resonated so much with me. www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html

[@rainbowfoxmagicgrrrl]

Thanks for sharing that article! There was a part in it where they said, "people have an internal alarm clock that goes off at big life events, like turning 30. It reminds them that time horizons are shrinking, so it is a point to pull back on exploration and concentrate on the here and now." Have you found that to be true?

[@katyadade1041]

@@rainbowfoxmagicgrrrl My mom has found most of her soulmates after 50, when I moved out and she had to deal with her own life. It turned out lots of people her age were eager to find new friends because of the loneliness after children move out.

[@rainbowfoxmagicgrrrl]

@@katyadade1041 that's so cool! Good for her. very encouraging :)

[@Marielardinoit]

I moved around a lot when I was a kid and have the same problem ... I find maintaining friendships is hard work. I usually get the urge to move after 3 years, but last year I identified the pattern and decided to break it and deepen my roots a little. I figured having a 'home' is nice :)

[@AndyAlegria]

I'd say there are two kinds of friends, the ones that are fun and the ones you trust (they sometimes but aren't always the same people). The fun friend shows you a good time: you can share a hobby, learn, and laugh with them. The trusted friend is the one with whom you share your deeper feelings and thoughts, who will give you their honest opinion, and won't [usually] get upset when you share your honest opinion with them. You can love both kinds of friends, but for different reasons. It is important to have deep connections with some people, but not every friendship has to be deep (IMHO).

[@marthadanielle]

yes! i have my going out friends and i have my friends who actually know what's going on in my life.

[@1stepatatime]

thank you for dismantling that dominant narrativeee

[@beanl]

The great thing of living in a small country is that you can have those small town relationships while also enjoying big city perks

[@lilianwong27]

This was much needed. I feel like my so called "best friends" have been dropping like flies. This helped me question why these relationships are distancing and how it's been a one way street!

[@Goldforever-vp8zq]

Same and I reach out and I’m a introvert. I did didn’t reach out to test a friend and it took her like 3 months and I had a talk with her about my honest feelings and gave detailed examples I even admitted that when I started the friendship I had intimacy issues but now that I’m older I want true deep friendships and I cried. I listened to her feedback She didn’t cry but not saying she had to but it shows she just not in a place to be really vurnable for the friendship I want. She just wasn’t emotionally invested like I was. She did a little for like 2 weeks then went back to exactly how she was before. She says she cares and I think she does in her own way but her actions fail to show too many times. I’m starting to wonder if I should treat future friendships like dating a guy not choosing a friend off chemistry because we could talk for hours but off their emotional availability and willingness to grow into the friendship. It’s just so heartbreaking 😓

[@truthandhope7734]

Stop reading my mind Anna, you post everything that my day is related tooooooo

[@humanseekingtruth6080]

Oh my gosh, a true friend does last forever, because they acutely care more about you than themselves, and that is a blessing and a gift, I feel so bad that you have never met anyone like that. Not one person has been selfless and loving enough to be your friend though thick and thin?

[@ching-hangcheung5953]

As always thanks for your vulnerability laced with comedy. A highlight in my week Anna. Keep it up!

[@fiq1999]

I know this situation is not the norm but my group of friends has been along for nearly 15 years now. We've had our ups and downs but I feel we are still growing stronger than ever. I feel these guys will stick by my side forever and I love this!

[@metricsplease]

4:28 When Anna started her advice with "Aside from regular social anxiety, [...]", I knew she was my real friend.

[@Cerberuswaltz]

Getting older and now in my 30's, you learn to enjoy the friends who stay and even the ones who go. Sometimes a friend we don't have any more are there when we need them and it's OK to outgrow them. Doing so makes it easier in the future when you do have to let go AND helps when you make new friends bc all the expectations go out the window of this idea of "forever"

[@msbluerabbit12]

My mind is blown by how you tackled exactly what has been bothering me lately.

[@JungleYT]

You're truly a treat to watch... Brilliantly produced, short, sweet and to the point. The classical music always adds a unique contrast or touch. "Burglar who travels with Forrest rats..." "Chunk of calcium, minerals and collagen..." LOL

[@qsdfcvgyjmkl]

"Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb" has not historical basis. It was just made up to change the meaning of the phrase. However, this meaning is still much better than the original phrase.

[@ubermenschen3636]

A Real friend helps you improve as a better person.

[@GatisKandis]

Love you

[@SIGSEGV1337]

You were on Xfactor

[@nakuld7870]

Liked your gig hehe

[@dennisrassel3641]

Gatis Kandis, I love you, you always make me laugh with your videos, keep it up

[@tomhughes6601]

this brother is down bad.... down real bad

[@mikayla_r6016]

Your pfp creeps me out, idk why

[@SealoveSea3]

Thank you for this! I wonder this so often - if I'm doing something wrong, why I suddenly feel like I'm walking on egg shells around them, feel physically different when I hear (if I hear) from certain people. I took a few weeks to really focus on how I feel when I talk to/facetime with certain friends vs others and damn! What a game changer!!

[@Saba-el2cl]

I feel so lucky for keeping my friendship with two people for 14 years. And with other three friends for six years. These gurls are the best thing happened to me.💜

[@howardcohen6817]

Amazing how real you have been becoming, Anna. Right on.

[@casandratanare5470]

I'm actually going through this now. I would think that my "friends" understood my medical condition and then when there comes a time when I make a scheduled date hours in advance but then sometimes by that time I'm so drained, I'm pointed out as a flake which rarely happens since I force myself, despite how tired I am from my medical condition, to hang out with them. It's like my medical condition is a gift in disguise because it really shows who is actually you're friend and who was there temporarily in your life. They don't necessarily have to understand my condition, but it would be nice to take it in consideration

[@rivkahmadison7045]

I've read about the need to accept the transitory nature of all relationships. And boy, that's a lifelong lesson. Anna, you are not the only one attempting to let go of illusions and expectations.

[@pinnedcomment8614]

Today learned: While trying to find a cure for AIDS, the Mayo Clinic made glow in the dark cats.

[@jeuglz7331]

wha really?

[@corneliahanimann2173]

I know that this happened but I forget it hours after I heard it just to be surprised again whenever I hear it.

[@Gweenteea]

As a person with BPD, this is just what I needed. I've had really intense friendships, but I think now I've really identified a friend who's really there There for me. Someone who saw my lows and still stuck by and didn't run away. I'm grateful.

[@dominika1348]

If someone wants to be your friend, he will make sure he is noticed. Ignore others.

[@justk4929]

I really needed this - two friends of mine broke up and I have to support them whilst in isolation due to my family's health. Thanks Anna

[@flightlessagbsls]

I've been friends with my bff's (two) for twenty years. Not a myth, just hard. I also got lucky. So hard work and luck. Much like life lol

[@estellax8725]

Honestly, the progression of these past 3, 4 videos on the channel have been extremely relevant and scarily accurate in matching the exact cycle of emotions, thoughts, and crises that I'm going through...

[@КаринаТупакова]

"delusions of grandeur with no ethics to match it" i need that on a shirt

[@ValerieWoodMusic]

"work ethic"...just saying, different frkm ethics

[@garricksmalley1733]

As I am still alive I can not say for sure I have a best friend forever but I can say I have a friend that has been with me for the last 29 years (I am 52). It has taken work and a level of honesty that most people do not do, but we both have found it worth it. That is one person I would say is a BFF. For me one is enough. I have other friends that come and go. It some times hurts to loose them and some times I have not even noticed until years latter. The one thing I have observed about experiencing life is that it is so much more amazing and varied than binary choices most people think in. Love this channel. May you be well Miss. Akana.

[@dianecatplans3207]

I want to know when I hurt someone's feelings as well so I can adjust my behavior accordingly. I guess I did something to hurt someone's feelings so she started to turn our other friends against me. Five people just dropped me at once and none of them would tell me why. I found out years later I said something that hurt her feelings then she made up some insane stuff to these other people . :( It felt like middle school drama but we were all aged 30-49 It was awful.

[@alternateuniversescollidde313]

I am sorry you went through that.

[@SkyMist227]

THANK YOU for acknowledging social anxiety as regular. I used to (and still sometimes) think there was this magical group of friends I had yet to meet because I always felt some sort of social anxiety even around my closest friends. And then I would value my friendships less because I thought, well, they're not the ones for me anyway if I feel anxious around them. But god, it's just a normal human emotion. Thank you

[@Thefitty]

*and yet, the story of santa really brings the magic of Christmas to life for me...

[@TrustTheDice]

So true. Sometimes u just find ur childhood friends aren't really relatable later on in life as they used to be...

[@whitneycomplexyoga]

None of my 'friends' ever tell me when I've hurt their feelings.

[@winterso8589]

Anna's developed the fine art in finding just the right balance when delivering satire & sarcasm without sounding too cynical to keep the audience engaged 😆 love what you do girl and for keeping things 💯

[@MertaOdSimsow]

0:55 Sounds like a *stocking* situation

[@brendamertes9472]

Lately I've had several "friend breakups". I've grown out of the idea that I should keep dismissing toxic behaviors just because I've known someone for a long time and don't want to "breakup". All of this to say, I appreciate this message today.

[@katieblake]

my family used to leave Santa a beer

[@lazydaisy4453]

Haha 😂 Did they also drink it?

[@katieblake]

@@lazydaisy4453 oh totally someone did 😂

[@lazydaisy4453]

@@katieblake 😂😂🌲🌲💕

[@SoffyHoffers]

I think these are good to keep in mind for thinking about how good of a friend you are, too

[@Vindominus]

Ah yes, I can't even count how many times my friends have tried to sue me. FINALLY somebody mentions this. 😄

[@ename588]

Howww, what did I miss or is that an exclusive LA phenomenon?

[@BigGoronSword]

@@ename588 I say this as an American, too many thin-skinned people would rather use the law than have a civil conversation (that may lead into a confrontation) because they think they have a fighting chance getting the way they want through the court system. Rather than just letting something go.

[@Kitsaplorax]

Speaking from experience, if they stick around after a major hospitalization or two, are genuinely supportive and kind and have been in your life for three plus decades, they are a genuine friend. The ongoing conversations that you've both benefited from over time on complex social and ethical topics develop skills and compassion that can be applied to every interaction in your life.

[@rghbhj7971]

Most of my friendships through teenagehood have been like: Ok, Is this how actual REALLY GOOD platonic relationships should make me feel or am I a lesbian? Answer is: We'll never know

[@graced.6711]

This just makes me value my best friend of over 7 years even more!!!

[@UnbrandedLifestyle]

"Best friends forever is a lie"... But not to those who are still best friends. 😂

[@wychxy1]

Had the same issue, I would have some close friends and every 2-3 years we would drift apart or I would began to feel like our values and mindsets about certain things are on different levels . It wasn’t till quarantine hit and I stopped hanging out w ppl just to “ hang out “ and started to listen to myself about which ppl I really actually want to see and am internally comfortable around that I realized there were some people I honestly just needed to filter out . It wasn’t till I met my current best friend that I felt how it’s like to have someone who actually just gets you and genuinely has your back . Definitely need to see friendships more like relationships! Thanks for being enlightening again Anna :)

[@nerdmommy7114]

Last December, my daughter begged me to buy a toy. I told her, we have to tell that to Santa. Then she said, “But Santa is not real!” She’s four. Well now, guess I don’t have to go through the pain of delivering the bad news to her. HAHA

[@medicentio]

Dude, that phrase about blood and water hits SO HARD! Also, excellent job in Jupiter's Legacy, loved your part!

[@Slyyvie]

THE LITTLE RED HEN!!

[@tabush142]

This is really relevant to me, just lost someone who I considered one of my close friends recently. It ended up being a clash of personalities just like you mention. Crazy how bad the breakups can be with people who used to be so close