The Lies of Female Friendships, Competition and Jealousy

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Chapters:
00:00 - Female friendships - how we got here
14:07 - My experience
Article mentioned: www.researchgate.net/publicat...
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[@LanaBlakely]

#ad Go to betterhelp.com/lana for 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help

[@muhammadbilalkhan323]

Your so beautiful ❤❤❤

[@Laura-vs6fs]

so disappointing to see you take them as a sponsor, when they are literally a scam and have been exposed as dangerous as they don't offer actual therapists as help and so many people have spoken out, but youtubers continue to take them as sponsors. Like how can you talk about these important things, but pull this crap.

[@Fran7842]

Better Help does not treat therapists well. Doesn’t provide good healthcare either… you can do better with sponsorships

[@kieranfearon581]

Hi do you like to use your tongue when you kiss?

[@TopperPenquin]

Wrong.

[@natemarx4999]

The moral of Lana’s story is simple: Stay away from toxic “friendships.”

[@sarafernandez4920]

Nah I think she said stay away from toxic and beware from the toxic within

[@user-dv9xx3yy8v]

Jusko lahat nalang toxic

[@crimsonhawk4912]

" the youth is quick the title of 'friend' " -Seneca

[@ThomasMgtow-jq4fb]

Help support mandatory DNA testing and stop paternity fraud. It is a basic human right to know if a child is or is not yours. Help the true father find his kids.

[@incipidsigninsetup]

​@@ThomasMgtow-jq4fblol, women will never support that.

[@natemarx4999]

I have seen “friends” criticize their friends success/promotion. That is beyond gross and toxic.

[@rapfarsibaza]

🤣🤣😬

[@dericmederos1514]

Misery loves company. I used to be one of them. I wanted my friends to be in the same worthless place as me and when they moved up I hated on them. I learned how insecure i was and worked on it. I'm much better now

[@LiliLili-us7pt]

@@dericmederos1514 I find myself here too, even if I don't recognize myself in this situation. I mean I feel it external to me, as if I can't believe it. I would like to know how to work on this. I do, but I would like to be more sure that I will free myself☹

[@Dodohulahoop757]

I used to be good friends with very beautiful girls but I was on the lower spectrum of attractiveness. Whenever we went out, they always got the attention from different kinds of people, not just guys and they were treated a lot better because of how pretty they were. At first, it didn’t bother me at all because I loved my friends. But then, something in me switched. The people who usually approached my friends would treat me like an absolute nobody. There were times I’d smile at people and try and say hello and they’d ignore me and wave at my pretty friends instead. There were times we’d go to clubs and guys would stand in front of me and start talking to my friend (nothing wrong with this but it’s always polite to at least acknowledge someone before proceeding to talk to the person they were talking to). There’s so many examples I can give. It slowly started to become disheartening for me and eventually, my self esteem started to depreciate. I started hating the person I became whenever I’d go out with my friends because I’d started to get jealous. I am in no way trying to say that I am in the right but the point I’m trying to make is that the way people treat you as the conventionally unattractive friend can sometimes lead to you not feeling good about yourself. I worked on my self esteem but I had to draw back a little and go out on my own more. I’m still friends with my attractive friends and I love them all so much.

[@klaudinegarcia8932]

Thank you for sharing ❤. It's great you accurately pin pointed that it was those people who put your self esteem down and not your friends. Your friends sound like good people ❤. My friends treated me like crap because I was the ugly friend. They never helped me with my confidence and left me out a lot.

[@saonnitac5232]

Hi ❤ Your comment sounds like you are a caring friend, because you acknowledged this shift in your friendship with those girls. Don’t let other people determine how you feel about your appearance. If you feel invisible sometimes compared to your other friends, maybe try to see if they leave you « social space », if they let you in conversations, or if they introduce you to people they know ect. If they do, the only problem comes from the people that ignore you when your friends are here, it’s their loss if they don’t want to take the chance to get to know you, it means that they just don’t deserve to know you. If it is your friends that put you aside socially when going out, well I think they don’t deserve you either ❤ Don’t let that jealousy grow, take a step back and maybe think about the fact that we all have something to bring to the world that is valuable, and that this something is not determined by physical appearance

[@ayla8345]

The real test you can have in a friendship like this is when you get into a situation where YOU get the attention from guy(s), instead of her. I used to be like you, but eventually guys started paying attention to me too. There’s a shift that happens when the less attractive friend gets attention from guys instead of the attractive ones. Some people can’t handle not being the centre of attention because they’re so used to it.

[@mileyroe4877]

I love that you're being so honest. I'm on the other side of your story and it hurts when your intuition tells you that your friend may be jealous of you or the attention that you're getting. The thing we usually don't have is genuine, healthy friendships because most women and some men see us as competition and most men just want to sleep with or be with us. We constantly have to downplay our accomplishments and guard our hearts. I like the fact that you took a step back to work on yourself, it shows that you care.

[@juveriyanaser3132]

i am in the exact same situation as you were in! god i feel so evil for being jealous of my friends so much that ive withdrawn myself a little because it just hurts everytime. i hope i will be able to raise my self esteem and come on good terms with them again.... thanks for sharing!

[@JPJ432]

That's why it's so Important for a girl/woman to have a caring and loving father.

[@alejandrodelgado5829]

​@@LuckyDalton-gh5hgleviticus 21.9

[@boombya2556]

I don't have a father but I am extremely self aware and confident

[@TheAustrianPainter87]

​@@boombya2556That's great but there's a thousand strippers and p0rn Stars for every one you.

[@TheWanderer03]

“ Show me your friends, and I’ll show you; your future” - Daniel Pena. I think it is one of greatest things said on human relations. Yes, Lana it’s hard to find those rare gems that are genuine friends and harder is to keep them. I’ve had mixed experiences about friends, female friendships had the most influence on my life, and learned a lot of things over the course. One thing for sure; the genuine ones always stay. Thank you Lana for sharing such a thoughtful video and a reminder to check on the people around me. Please keep up!

[@SikhaB]

Be careful of the women "friends" who suddenly start showing interest in the same guy you're crushing on. In other words, they have to have what you have or possibly could have in the future. Also stay away from "friends" who poke at your flaws and insecurities just to drag you down, and make themselves feel better. The stories I have! Remember, the prettier you are, the more likely insecure and jealous people will point them out to you and dwell on it.

[@diamondedevil]

this happened to me but with my cousin and my ex bf 🤡 my cousin has always been more of the beauty standard of where im from so shes always gotten the most attention from men when we went out, n then when i took my bf to meet her n my family the way she acted…. she ignored me the whole night n only made conversation w him n ofc since he was a dick (reason why hes my ex) he flirted back n they both excluded me from the conversation, it took me almost 8months to fully heal that one interaction bc it broke my trust in both of them n felt like betrayal (it was the cherry on top to a lot of sus bullshit theyd pulled before bc they always had hater energy arnd me), my whole life ive felt my family on my moms side is jealous of what ive made of myself (theyre all women) n they benefited off of me keeping my self esteem low

[@wizeyy]

As a man, I value commitment in my friendships too. Many of my friends would hang out without me or never text me back or would cancel plans. I let them go, I don’t need that bs. Friendships are hard for us too. Like we always have to prove multiple times that we are cool and not some a*shole

[@Wildwildmint]

I am 22 years old, never experienced most of this. I have two close women friends and they stand on a really high moral ground and I learned that from them. Amazing people. That being said, I am generally more reserved and I spend lots of time with myself. I consider them my closest friends, but they do not know about my spiritual beliefs for instance, even my family doesn't know about them. I think this stuff are deeply personal so I tend not to share them with anyone.

[@godsangel67able]

Spirituality is who you re and what you present. I dont understand why you dont share your Spiritaulity when you're truly walking it everyday. and thats if your truly into whatever that your into

[@Wildwildmint]

@@godsangel67able Humans are complex creatures with different tendencies.

[@jimsenbonzakura9402]

@@Wildwildmint That sounds like you are resisting a really simple truth. Spirituality makes you connected to the present. If you deny that part of yourself, you are resisting satya (truthfulness). Hereby, you can't be truthful.

[@Wildwildmint]

@@jimsenbonzakura9402 I am not denying it. I do not lie about it. We just never talk about such topic, and I do not bring it up out of the blue, they don't ever ask me about it. If they do, I would happily answer them, but they don't, so what's the problem here?

[@elizabethhopkins7582]

This is so good. I am 67 and can tell that most of this never changes.

[@user-uz6hy7od8l]

do You have a best friend?, I'm starting to giving up on the "forever friendship", everyone leaves...or am I not enough? I don't know I just would like to know if you think that a true friendship,a long friendship exists?

[@Blehblah04]

​@@user-uz6hy7od8lThe concept of a genuine freindship definitely exists. But to be in such relations both the parties should understand their ownselves ,The ones who resent others often reflect upon a part of themselves so comprehending your inclinations is a must. Things do change ,people come and go but memories stay and the present lives

[@shouryaverma8193]

Hey dont give up. I am not 67 like @elizebethhopkins7582 but I just want you to believe that there are good people out there. @@user-uz6hy7od8l

[@JMoore-vo7ii]

​@@user-uz6hy7od8l you've always been enough. When you can bring that out in yourself and others, it's timeless

[@wplants9793]

I’m 41 and it is interesting to see how much attractiveness did NOT play a part in making the most beautiful girls in my high school friend group more successful, healthy, happy or guarantee any sort of stable good relationship. Not that pretty privilege isn’t a thing…it’s just that it’s not enough to make a dent against this economy, against family trauma, against poor choices (that we all make). Nor did the smartest girls get the “best life” or the most money. It all seems kind of random to who appears more “successful” or happy.

[@S.G.W.Verbeek]

It is the same with the males here. I wish for an equal 😊

[@Danuxsy]

attractiveness do play a role in pay, job opportunity and if you get hired or not (especially for females), but yes there are millions of factors that influence us at any moment in time, in fact your comment is a result of how you felt that day, what you ate, your genetic makeup, millions of years of behavioural evolution, your brain structure, etc... thus it is natural for some to fit into modern society better than others (it's chance).

[@jackboyce]

Life deals each of us our own set of cards but it's up to us to play that hand wisely. Something I've noticed is that having it easy early in life (because of looks, or family money) often leads to low success later because the person doesn't learn to deal with setbacks.

[@Danuxsy]

I had it hard early in life and I have it even harder in adult life@@jackboyce

[@S.G.W.Verbeek]

@jackboyce That is me. I have been sheltered from bad things beyond belief. The bad things still got to me though, slowly. I used to have plenty of energy. Nowadays in my 30's I would be happy to at least take a walk outside. God, I miss having it easy. I do my best to get it back responsibly.

[@jodieturnerx]

This was so interesting! The ending made me emotional too - I love the unspoken language between women. It's one of my favourite things because it is so pure.

[@shalinirana987]

this video couldnt have come at a better time 😂😂 i currently have one friend who was my best friend for 4 years and that all changed recently. now i dont feel like updating her on anything new in my life, and she doesnt update me about hers. i have another friend who is so unreliable, so push and pull. she makes me feel like we are getting closer then pulls away for 2 whole weeks. as lana said, it seems like these friendships are fragile ones and i feel like its best to let them fizzle out. but as someone who hasnt always had the best luck in making friends, i dont exactly want to give up on these friends just yet. to anyone in a similar situation in need of advice: keep your door open to friends like these and just hang out periodically, but make sure to set boundaries. dont know how well this is going to work out lol but im willing to keep in touch with both of them

[@sknbbx]

True hangout with all, but set boundaries. We always expect friends who are to our liking, imagination and expectation (sometimes surprising characteristics). But yes we can't get close to anyone right now such that we will get hurt later. Now a days i feel, finding a good friend, i need a great luck

[@samirunlu9900]

Having no friends will come with no friend problems but then also without friends you know. Also know you are a friend to yourself in a way. I think you already said the best advice and yeah looking at what you said it seems the friendship is already fizzling out by itself without you doing anything about it 🤷‍♂️. Find by good luck a new friend, like work on being more open or being more active to learn a new person or something but still keep the other friends around. I think the other person is hanging out with other people and you at that time is just waiting to hang out with them. But they are busy learning to know new people and don’t think they really stand still you guys are slowly growing apart from each other.

[@ohsnapitzambrose]

Literally what you described is kinda what I’m going through with a friend currently. So push and pull, goes days to weeks and even a month once without replying. But the thing is, we live in the same town, have been friends for over 2 years now and we NEVER got to hang out. I asked over and over and it’s the same excuses. Too busy, schooling, job, strict parents. We’re both 24. I’m getting sick of it and I deserve better. I don’t even know what to say to her anymore because she gives me nothing now. We used to tell each other everything, so I feel really sad about it.

[@dearjenn_]

Thank you Lana! I believe that much of the competition and jealousy stem from insecurity and a lack of safety and reassurance during upbringing. I appreciate the last part where you mentioned how good we are at using unspoken language to uplift one another. It is a reminder of how small gestures an hold significant meaning for others! 🥰

[@LastKingLKArthur]

It’s also instinct and biology. Was always there. But as you said, you can reign that in with better teachings and treatment in the most crucial parental years. Its mostly only a thing between girls/women. Like 99% more than with boys/men. It’s a thing following you gals from the tribal days 60 thousand years ago. And if left untreated, then today’s day and ages rampage happens.

[@_______6398]

I think the point she is making is that these feelings of jealousy towards other women that a woman feels is something that exists and is inherently (on a deeper level) tied to biology regardless of how “secure” a woman is. If you think more about why women always say things like “if she’s really secure she wouldn’t get jealous of other women” is interesting in it of itself. It seems almost as if this is the mind’s way of a mix of: virtue signaling and projection. There’s more depth to it than you make it out to be

[@lucianlaiteng]

Always love how you bring up difficult topics people are afraid to talk about and admit but always end it with a positive/hopeful remark. Thanks for the video!

[@jpmor7327]

I watched all my female friends ruin their lifelong friendships over tanner with the frosted tips in 6th grade. Even tho there was 30 other guys, it had to be Tanner.. hypergamy starts earlyyyy

[@demodiums7216]

lol truth

[@wezzie1877]

😊

[@lullatstars]

lifelong friendships and 6h grade do not go together my dude

[@jpmor7327]

@@lullatstars when you grow up in the same planned trackhouse community from 4 yrs old to 13 yrs old, with the same kids you go to school with, those are lifelong friends my dude.

[@welltivate]

It's hard to maintain real genuine friendships as you age. But luckily its never too late to meet new friends. I joined a language class last year and made some new friends im very grateful for!❤

[@garimasikka10]

The ending nltes were on point and so true. Thanks for sharing ❤.

[@NutsaChubinidze]

Once again, perfect timing and left me with goosebumps 💌

[@bigol7169]

Men have friends. Women have allies.

[@moonlightbae333]

No

[@carrino15]

Yes!

[@Nexus31323]

No, bad women have allies. I have a handfull of kind, supportive, spiritual girl- friends.

[@nihalhathaway4089]

well I don't fear that my best friend will tell her new best friends my secrets - I fear they would not tell ME their secrets anymore but trust their new best friend more than me. I fear to be replaced.

[@nataliabisch9300]

Awe I cried watching this as it’s so true and thank you so much for this piece of art. I hope it influences all of us to be kinder to one another.

[@coolgraycats]

Most people are deeply shallow. You are deeply deep. 🙏 Thank you for sharing such a meaningful video.

[@fateme8103]

I had a beautiful friendship since high school that I thought it was going to last forever. But my friend was one of the "obsessed with men" girl. She is a vet but she always try to date with the most toxic or degenerate boys. I tried really hard to improve her self-esteem but it was rooted in her relationship with her dad who wasn't a very emotional guy. At the end of the day she got tierd of my advices to leave the toxic guys or have a stable relationship and stopped talking to me. It's been 6 month since we break up and it still hurt me. But I think she is doing good and I'm not stressed anymore and can sleep with peace at night. 😊

[@minnasouen7460]

Melanie Hamlett covered this on her channel & the friend whose obsessed with guys is termed a 'male centered' friend.

[@fateme8103]

@@minnasouen7460 well I checked her out and turns out she is a weird feminist 😐

[@samirunlu9900]

Yeah trying to help and giving good advice isn’t always appreciated 🤷‍♂️. They have there own views on life about stuff and way of thinking nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♂️.You think you just trying to help her as a good friend should do and she probably thinks you tried to control her lifestyle and being all obsessed about her choices. All shows it’s the individual view or the self that’s making reality up. And everything is coming from within (mostly).

[@fateme8103]

@@minnasouen7460 I looked her up and turns out she is a weird feminist 😐

[@fateme8103]

@@samirunlu9900 I like your point. ❤️

[@EviLilianCherry]

I could not wait to read the comments on this video!! Loved the topic!

[@Eunoiaffect]

The end of this video was so heartwarming ❤

[@sknbbx]

Girl u have done a lot of thinking..thank you for spreading right knowledge and positivity around the world.. these channels should grow more. Not those tiktokers showing off nonsense. Respect

[@baddcheeta.]

Beautiful work ❤ I cried in the end

[@intanamalia754]

I was have a friend in my college, we often hang out and even sleep together, we shared our problems, learn the lesson that we didn't know each other, shared our "boys problem". And untill i have someone that i love, i tell him to her, then when i got a heart break from him, i cry in her room, she was beside me. But the day after that, i just found that they are dating

[@kashishbatish3836]

I would have cried weeks after this Stay strong you will meet someone who deserves you

[@africanqueen5292]

Omg smh I’m so sorry gurl 😢

[@xxvuk3]

This video is a real piece of art.. The video ends affectively like I felt every word.

[@ChrisGaultHealthyLiving]

You are full of wisdom, Lana! Love your videos! Keep helping people and being your awesome self! Comparison typically robs us of happiness.

[@honeysugar1]

Lana, thank you for this video! That ideal female friendship you described is what I've been looking for. Lately, I've been dealing with emotional dumpers (including my mum) which is really emotionally draining me and nowadays the ppl i confide in are my therapist, not my friends. The last part of your video was quite moving to me too. I remember this time where I was having a particularly challenging day and got really tearful on the train. Usually ppl tend to mind their own business but this one girl noticed, offered me tissues and a hug. I will always remember the kindness of this female stranger for making me feel seen and less alone.

[@christopherlobo8082]

I confirm that sometimes or more often total strangers are the best.

[@yoshi314]

some female friendships turn out duplicitous. i have never seen anyone talk so bad behind one's back as women do about their 'friends'.

[@yammin]

Thank you so much for this amazing video! It reminds me of friendship breakups, which also reminds me to cherish the precious friendships that still last. 💕

[@DancingNomadN]

Lana, i love your videos on 'friendships'. Thank you for being open about your experience. I've had those who hate to see you happy, and i have learned not to feel guilty to ditch them. Those who stay in my life as true friends - i gain nothing out of them, and vice-versa...we appreciate each other and enjoy our company even though our life path has gone different directions.

[@JKweez]

It's cool to see how successful you've become with this channel since I found you!

[@sienna_91]

When I was at high school, there was always a group of girls that would hate me for no reason, I was only 8 years old when they waited for me outside of my school to fight with me. I had to hide myself in the bathroom while my best friend (and only friend I had) call my mother to come and pick me up. This whole year was like that, and sometimes the “leader” of the group would slap my face or pull my hair. Today I’m 32 years old and it is hard for me to trust women.

[@davedsilva]

Western women are generally like that. I’m sorry you experienced that.

[@gionagrace6279]

I'm so sorry! That's horrible! Shine today like the diamond 💎 that you truly are❤

[@Danuxsy]

that's millions of years of evolution for ya 😂😂

[@lorrainethomson9850]

I had the same in secondary school. Even now, at 66 I feel embarrassed and ashamed about it. My one friend was my rock, unfortunately she died when we were 45.

[@yujibell]

don't be friends with people who are envious of you, who never change their minds and who can't admit when they are wrong.

[@IzzySealey]

Beautiful video, really resonated with so much of this... thank you 🧡:)

[@senaraasini]

Like most goals you want to achieve in life, the friends you manifest for yourself is equally important. I'm truly grateful for the female friendships that continues to provide a safe space, emotional support and nurture my soul, i believe each and everyone of us is worthy of this.

[@Veronicalva710]

Why did I start crying EXACTLY when you did 🥹💖💖💖 Cute message, love your videos girly

[@LanaBlakely]

[@ujalabashirch7469]

I have been loving your content on friendships. I think its high time we focus on improving our close inner circle outside of romantic relationships.

[@boxinglife4me]

Blakey. You Melt my heart. Damn!

[@sunkissed_01]

thank you for making me feel less alone lana

[@anonymouslearner2454]

I disagree at 0:05 - people can be genuinely worried I feel gossip is when you disrespect a person and more so when you don't show that person 100% truth of how you think about them

[@abadhyasingh6497]

fabulous video! very well explained

[@Gudly-cn4iz]

Best video ever.. We want more like this ❤

[@Verenaaschulz]

I loved your video and it’s so amazing that you bring up these topics! 🙌 I really do hope that your trip to Copenhagen was amazing. I recognize some of the places. Mange kram fra Danmark 🇩🇰☺

[@user-xy6hs4tw9p]

Very insightful. You have such a wonderful & unique delivery style. Very engaging 🌸

[@hannie-byt3]

This is so common and it honestly feels like I can’t escape it

[@khuyentran437]

Love your content! I'm alway coming back to your deep conversations about friendships and self-love ❤

[@juliatn1922]

Love this video, thank you

[@PoppyFields]

Thank you for balancing the true negative aspects of female friendships with the true joys!! I have been seeing a lot of videos about how women can’t reallyyy be friends with women or reallyyy care about them. That our relationships are all about exchange, what we can get from each other with an underlying sense of competition. And I have felt the pain of those kinds of relationships and the videos really did help me understand human nature a bit more. But I’ve also felt random women looking out for me, genuine care and love for other women, friends fiercely be there for me emotionally/physically/spiritually. So it’s nuanced…and I think you captured that bravo and thank you.

[@learner1680]

you are so good, thanks for the video.

[@jamalgreen3056]

Wow u are so calm and collective this is the first video I’ve seen of yours and u love it😊thankyou as a man I will take this advice

[@tombozhimo3390]

Your beauty is out of this world ❤

[@stephanledford9792]

This was a very informative video for me, as a male. - I coach a Junior High girls' soccer team and we lost a close game last season when my primary scorer passed up multiple open shots to pass to a weaker teammate with less of a chance to score. When I talked with her about it afterwards, she said she didn't want to be a "ball hog". The perception of her teammates was more important to her than actually winning the game. - A female teacher I know has a sensitive 3rd grade daughter who is just now running into the "drama" and girls being mean to each other stage and is wanting her mom to quit teaching at school and home school her. I have seen this over and over but was surprised that it was starting in 3rd grade - my perceptions from years of working with kids was that girls started this the second half of 4th grade, still quite young. - I had a neighbor with a tween age girl who told her dad that she was only going to be friends with boys because they were honest with her and didn't backstab or switch from being a friend to an enemy for "no reason". - I had a girl who had an "enemy" on a different soccer team, and both were brutal to each other on the soccer field. I asked her about this, and they had been best friends till 3rd or 4th grade, when they became "enemies", but she couldn't remember what caused this, yet it was still in place years later and there was no interest in repairing this relationship. - I watched a rift between my sister and a close friend, 1 1/2 years younger than I am, when they ran into a boy they had never seen before at the park near our house. The "I saw him first" phrase was used multiple times, at which point I sarcastically pointed out that the boy had some say in the matter as well. This didn't hurt their friendship, but I realize now after watching this video that what they were really wanting to do was eliminate the "competition" for his attention.

[@thomasthgersen]

Good and wise topic🙂

[@elifbakr5859]

Thank you for ur sharing 🌸

[@Allie-tl1mg]

I genuinely want to have friends like yours Lana. You're very fortunate meeting friends like them. I'm that friend who always feel like I give more than what I receive aka stuck in one sided friendships. I feel like I'm losing my self-respect when i always give but my feelings are not reciprocated. Maybe they outgrown me, especially we have "busy" working lives. It's really hard finding genuine friends at this age.

[@harry69007]

Hey Lana, could you make a video on how to adapt to change/new environments. Love the content

[@cosmina.s_lifestyle]

I love your vibe. You are very calm and sweet. I love your look. It's natural and put together ❤

[@lizziemackenzie4927]

so well done

[@klaudinegarcia8932]

Hello Lana! 💕 It's amazing to see how your much your subs have grown! I've been following you since when you had below 100K followers ☺. I'm so proud of you! Keep going! ☺💖

[@waterlillee]

Lanaaa.... Can you make a comfy video on overcoming a breakup without holding any resentment... Ik you have already posted on breakup but can you give your opinions on not holding on to the resentments Loving your content and the aesthetics of your videos❤

[@LanaBlakely]

Noted

[@shalinismritilakra5227]

@@LanaBlakely Please make a video on getting Closure and deal with unrequited emotions

[@anonymouslearner2454]

@@LanaBlakely Please make it inclusive of friendship breakups too if possible 😣🙏

[@addyvalencia]

Actually that example at the end is why I broke off 2 5 year long friendships and 1 8 year long friendship… that idea of being “seen” by another woman and knowing that she knew how I felt. My soul was crushed when I realized unfamiliar women I had maybe glanced at one or twice made me feel more whole and human than my best friends. I only have a close make friends now but I so desperately wish I could connect with another girlie again… 💔

[@Sally20101]

Really been loving lana's friendship content!!...

[@LanaBlakely]

I've enjoyed it too!!

[@samannuayasudhas2008]

I've been going through a tough time with my best friend for a while now. But I keep seeing Lana 's new video uploads which is totally relatable to my current situation. My friend is really beautiful and I adored her alot. But everything started to change lately and i started noticing alot of flaws in her which never bothered me before. I slowly started noticing our values and interests were never the same. Her beauty never bothered me because I find myself beautiful in many ways. But she started showing off, and she started craving for more male validation and attention. And she was never interested to hear my story. She always cut in between and tells her story. Slowly I stopped sharing her things. She changed. She became close to a another girl who hates me and is jealous of me. I felt lonely and blamed myself that I did something wrong. Slowly I started telling my inner thoughts aloud when we are in a group of friends which eventually hurt my friend. I felt bad and I stopped thinking about her. I let her go. I outgrew my old self to be a better person and so did she. But our current selfs doesn't align with each other so we had to let go of each other. What makes me sad is that, how I adored her once and how I don't even care about her now. A boy can never change me, but how a female friend can alter my thoughts and emotions. How i cried because of her actions. We women care alot about female friendships. It can make us grow or it can destroy us. So be thoughtful when you choose your friends. If you don't find anyone who you can call as "good friend", it's better be alone.

[@fatemad4012]

Don't depends on your friend see them as stranger who you can have good time with it I thought about my female friend ship in the past same way I got hurt most but they were not that bad even they kept calling me more but I decided distance myself now I have more muture and balanced friendship

[@mlntslm]

what an angelic voice. I could hear it for hours.

[@bandreddygowthamsai]

This is a very well thought and executed video Great addition to a already great catalog of yours!!! Great Lana ❤

[@LanaBlakely]

Thank you!! :)

[@Be_humble707]

Hi Lana thanks you so much for sharing this topic, As a guy I was deeply moved and happy as to how pure a female friendship can be altogether ❤ thanks again Lana tc (Just wanted to inform your bookclub page has expired) tc

[@ohuneneotailku7938]

I love the end❤

[@mansoor3159]

Lana love your recent videos so so much and I really really missed your videos a lot you are my inspiration🥺✨

[@teslataxi4546]

Hi Lana, I re-watched your original video from 5 years ago. Video #1. In it said you had met somebody who you stayed up with all night he made you laugh like nobody else ever had. After watching all of your videos over the years I get the impression that relationship didn't end well. As we are friends I think it would be good for you to tell us what happened back in California and why you have found it so difficult to get over it. I can hear the pain in your voice when you talk to us about that breakdown. Time to tell us, if you want

[@Vikramt21]

Good knowledge!!!

[@annajp3126]

I had no idea you were/speak swedish! I found you in the beginning of my mental health journey and you have given me so much inspiration and many clever thoughts. Tack så jättemycket ❤

[@LanaBlakely]

🥹 Tack själv för du varit här ❤

[@NewDimension7]

Thank for sharing.

[@blowupshuate8123]

Beautiful vid and sentiment

[@kashishbatish3836]

There’s a friend of mine who has no interest in whatever I speak, tries to pull me down, snatches away my friends, obsoletes my presence ….. I want to get away from her

[@Elmyonn]

I needed to hear this

[@oliverlind234]

you were in Denmark my homeland, hope you enjoyd it 😊

[@LanaBlakely]

Enjoyed it very much! Will definitely be back :)

[@djgonpet]

We often justify friends who are not really our friends, because we do have some fun and support with them.

[@kengause9259]

Really enjoyed the video.

[@rivi1011]

22:04 It's not only you who is crying. I always get emotional when someone talks about love. A love for another human being, an animal or simply the small moments in our life. The love which is unconditional, which does not need a reason, and we know that it is just there.

[@jackinkc767]

FYI - I subscribe to your channel. I check my “subscriptions” several times each day. I have not seen a posting of yours since “we are all dating wrong” Have a good day.

[@djgonpet]

I stopped being close with a school friend who we were close with my whole life (I'm 27) Why? Cuz I realized that she's a covert narcissist Where other supported me, she didn't If we had any misunderstandings, it's always ME who should've done it a different way. Always my behavior turned out to be the cause of our misunderstanding I broke up with my ex who was very similar to that, subtle manipulative dude, I had too much criticism with him, and I left cuz fell in love with someone else. My husband now supports me in every little thing, he is ALWAYS on my side, and only wuth him I realized what was wrong with my ex. I was in psychotherapy+having the most wholesome partner made me feel more and more weird with that female friend. And I finally opened my eyes on her. The thing is, we often justify friends who hurt us, because there is some support, fun, understanding. I can't say that my ex friend and ex bf were evil at all. They helped me with hard times too. But I didn't feel them being that happy for me in my brightest moments.

[@myliaa6087]

Thanks Lana

[@michaelhodges8005]

I saw someone who looks like you in Denton Texas today... So funny 🎉

[@listentoheart0832]

Totally agree with you. Males and females are two different kind of species, that is why we would like to seek emotional supports from females rather than males. I always think that if there is no jealousy between females and we can overcome those negative competitions, such perfect friendships might easily happen on us. But first we have to be growth and become mature personally, and so we can attract same kind of person to develop a good relationship...

[@AliciatheCho]

In part because we live in a competitive society that’s pits people against each other in general

[@clementlg68]

I've watched this one even though I'm not the main focus of this topic (as a man) but I can tell you that within milenials and gen z, fear of abandonment and loneliness amongst men has skyrocketed the past few years as well!

[@YoutubSosetXui]

Incredible honesty. As a male i feel like a got deeper understanding of female gender after watching this video. Subscribed.

[@anummirza8054]

you are an amazing person❤

[@sasasa8079]

If you guys don’t feel like reading a sad story, please don’t read this and deplete your energy, don’t mean to make anyone feel like an emotional dumpster This semester has been so harsh on me, it feels like all my friendships came crashing down. I realized that none of my best friends will stand up for me but they would stand up for each other. They would support each other but not me. I’ve been really good at academics my whole life and recently got into the best engineering college in my country. I became friends with this girl, I had a “vibe” about her since the day we met because she kept on pushing me to stand up for the class rep because she knew it would take a whole bunch of my time. It was all chill until the first semester results came, and then she avoided me altogether for weeks. We mostly used to hang out with each other and then I felt so alone, I felt that my success hurt her and this sort of made me feel guilty for doing good in my exams, the worst part was she hadn’t even scored low, I had scored 85% and she had scored 80%. I wouldn’t have felt this bad but honestly I would’ve never done that to her, and that was the part that broke my heart, I don’t wanna blame myself anymore for all this bullshit, we are on talking terms because there are only 4 girls in the entire classroom and she is still my benchparter for 40% of classes, hopefully I can change this part next semester. The part that crushed me was, I would stand up for my friends if the situation seemed like 3 to 1, but turns they wouldn’t do it for me. I would’ve celebrated their success and been genuinely happy for them, but turns out they meet me with passive aggression. I still have a really good friend who loves me and doesn’t judge me, but her presence is a bit draining because she wants to have a day out every fortnight, and I feel like she wants my company around, even though I don’t wanna have to schedule out a day out of every two of my weeks for her, I know I shouldn’t be venting as venting is draining and maybe this won’t be read by anyone, but I feel so alone, so vulnerable, so weak, this has been a tough period, I hope god shows me a way, god probly is showing me the way, I have my board exams the day after, I can’t study properly because of the weight of the events that happened throughout this semester, i hope I can distance myself from that girl in college.

[@jboughtin7522]

If these behavioral traits are as you describe, it really shouldn't come as any surprise that individuals might feel a degree of anxiety or trepidation with the prospect of having to engage with people.

[@sradhanjalinayak6680]

i cried watching thisss

[@mohamedyasi7876]

Can we be friends 😭 im 19 boy from sudan unfortunately with this war that is happening rn

[@teddydotson3727]

That's what I shared to this on X: Why is it statements of the obvious we don't talk or communicate about but just say? Decided to watch and listen, view. Awareness and honesty, doing less talking. There is no such thing as all jokes aside; be you, your own worst enemy. No joke, #seriously. [Thank you for making these statements of the obvious people don't often talk about because of doing that thing people like, think we love and stuff.]

[@teddydotson3727]

I personally believe it's been "too long". Good to hear from you; girl stuff, female things, talking some real stuff about friendship in general.

[@EuphonicElla]

Love your content so much!!! ❤

[@LanaBlakely]

Makes me happy !

[@thomasdap8659]

This girl is really pure and beautiful

[@Osmqueen]

We, i mean, idk if we have this kind of problem. Im not sure abt people acceptance toward atractive face but i can say we accepting a person among us as the way the are. So i felt grateful.