Signs of Narcissism and How to Deal With a Narcissist | Wendy Behary

[@susie-moore]

What was your biggest takeaway from this interview? 👇

[@LA-zb7kl]

I had never heard of the schemas. This was very enlightening. I'm definitely going read the book. Thank you kindly! Much 💕

[@mackrivkin]

I love how Wendy describes that one of the best ways to disarm a narcissist is by asking them a question and "putting the ball in their court." It's not what they're expecting, especially if they're looking for a fight. They love the game!

[@susie-moore]

Exactly, Mack!

[@StephaniRoberts]

Such a refreshing perspective! I left my last narcissist 7 years ago with two kids in tow and started a podcast for survivors. Narcissists are so vilified that suggesting we understand why they’re that way is not usually discussed as victims think it means allowing them to abdicate their responsibility instead of “knowing the enemy.” And it’s rare to hear that they are even IN therapy. I Loved hearing Wendy’s perspective and her ideas about asking questions when appropriate instead of grey rocking and avoiding all the time. This is much more empowering!! As is the schema concept. So helpful. Following and looking for her book. Wonderful interview!! 🙏🏼😊

[@susie-moore]

Wow! Aren't you amazing Steph!! Thank you so much for sharing! ❤️

[@StephaniRoberts]

Thanks Susie! I appreciate you!! xo

[@gulnorabogdalova1860]

Wendy is such a brilliant psychologist, and she is doing an outstanding contribution to making the world a better place to live. Thank you so much Susie for the wonderful interview!

[@susie-moore]

Thank you so much for watching and for your kind words, Gulnora! ❤️ So thankful for you!

[@gulnorabogdalova1860]

@@susie-moore 🤗🤗♥️

[@gracerules2423]

I’m alert now, sooo awake. 19:00 I would have given in or said “Yes” last time to avoid conflict too. I’m still learning to stand strong. I can only do that by knowing who I am, what my values are. My inner voice still beats myself up when I give in out of habit, but now I’m observing and catching it quicker. So there’s conflict🤷🏻‍♀️. I’m entitled to have my own thoughts, opinions, choices that may differ from others. And I will speak my truth, because I’m allowed to hold authentic space, I am no longer invisible, I have value to offer the world around me. That’s a shame that it makes others uncomfortable who don’t care about me anyway. They think they were uncomfortable before, they haven’t seen the new reality.

[@wendyb17]

Thank you so much for this interview, Susie. I really enjoyed sharing the conversation with you! Thanks to all who have taken the time to watch/listen, share your feedback, your input, your stories. You are my inspiration...

[@susie-moore]

You are MY inspiration, Wendy! Thank you for taking the time to do this interview!❤️

[@crystalm.musically]

Wow, let me first just begin by saying what a blessing this video was to me. I have been suffering in my marriage which is slowly coming to an end due to repeated infidelity, betrayal, lack of accountability, and my husband pursuing money/fame at ALL costs. Although I am still hopeless about my marriage, I can truly benefit from the ways in which you have shown me to stand strong in maturity as an adult with my right to peace due to the 4 children that still need to be co-parented by both of us. Thank you so much for sharing this with us Susie and Wendy. I purchased your book "Stop Checking Your Likes" a few months ago and will definitely be purchasing this book as well this weekend regardless of whether or not you send it to me. 😉 God bless you both! 🙏🏽

[@susie-moore]

Crystal - you are STRONG and AMAZING! You are an inspiration and we support you! Glad you found the interview so valuable! ❤️

[@AnnSimmons208]

Narcissism comes from a place of hurt and insecurity. Setting boundaries - I have rights, too. Taking a moment to tuck away my little girl into a safe place, and then continuing the conversation as the adult I am, standing on firm ground. Not engaging in the fight, the game. Developing empathy, really getting what's upsetting or so important to the narcissist. OK, that was several takeaways. Great interview - thoughtful questions and responses. Thank you!

[@susie-moore]

YES!!! Love all the takeaways you got from the interview! Such good truths! Thank you for sharing, Ann!❤️

[@jamiesivley5321]

Hey Ann - We've randomly selected some prize winners to ship a copy of Wendy's book and you are one of the winners! Here's the details - is you are in the US we will ship you a copy of the book - if you are outside the US we will send you an e-copy! Email [e-mail] with your shipping address!! ~ Jamie, #TeamSusie

[@dorenerichman9738]

This was so impactful. Knowing that a disproportionately big reaction means that the small person needs to be tucked in a safe place so that the adult can inhabit the space in a grounded and self empowered way. Wow. Want to learn more about the schemas and masks, so truly helpful. Many thanks!

[@susie-moore]

Ah! Yes! so much truth there! Thank you for sharing, Dorene! ❤️

[@jamiesivley5321]

Hey Dorene - We've randomly selected some prize winners to ship a copy of Wendy's book and you are one of the winners! Here's the details - is you are in the US we will ship you a copy of the book - if you are outside the US we will send you an e-copy! Email [e-mail] with your shipping address!! ~ Jamie, #TeamSusie

[@canyonentertainment2540]

Excellent!! I love the description of taking the big reaction and figuring out what the small child is actually suffering from. This helps explain SO WELL how we are triggered and set off by negative comments, thus allowing yourself to stay in your calm place and approach the whole situation as an adult, not the child who is still afraid and trying to do fight or flight!

[@susie-moore]

YES!! Thank you so much for sharing your insight!!

[@jamiesivley5321]

Hey friend! - We've randomly selected some prize winners to ship a copy of Wendy's book and you are one of the winners! Here's the details - is you are in the US we will ship you a copy of the book - if you are outside the US we will send you an e-copy! Email [e-mail] with your shipping address!! ~ Jamie, #TeamSusie

[@LenoraHelm]

I really appreciated how Wendy gives concrete steps to articulate with measured calm, “the power in the calm” that I can use with interactions with narcissistic individuals in my field of work which is full of gender biases (music) and patriarchal leadership (academia). Thanks Susie for introducing us to Wendy!!

[@susie-moore]

Thank you so much for sharing, Lenora! And you are SO welcome! ❤️

[@jennykiehn4234]

Thank you so much for this interview. The biggest revelation for me is that I can tuck the small, vulnerable part of myself somewhere safe. This is the first helpful, actionable advice I’ve ever heard on how I can interact safely with my narcissistic father. This is so huge for me. I’m also super interested in learning about the schema because that can give me a real insight to my reactions and fears. THANK YOU SO MUCH! 🙌🙏❤️

[@susie-moore]

Oh, Jenny! ❤️ I am so thankful for this and for you! Thank you for sharing!

[@jennykiehn4234]

@@susie-moore It’s my pleasure! I’m thankful for you too!

[@jamiesivley5321]

Hey Jenny- We've randomly selected some prize winners to ship a copy of Wendy's book and you are one of the winners! Here's the details - is you are in the US we will ship you a copy of the book - if you are outside the US we will send you an e-copy! Email [e-mail] with your shipping address!! ~ Jamie, #TeamSusie

[@nancybradford8514]

I will say I spend so much time being quiet, because speaking gets me judged and criticized. I hate spending any time with my partners family

[@susie-moore]

Thank you for sharing, Nancy! Sending you much love! ❤️

[@stacym4952]

Such an important topic! Wendy explains this so well. My MIL is one. Such a negative affect on my husband. He's just realized this isn't normal and needs so much healing due to growing up with her as a sole parent. Quite exhausting. Permission to not engage and validation that people like this do exist.. Love that you're covering this Susie Moore!

[@susie-moore]

Thank you so much for sharing, Stacy! ❤️

[@stacym4952]

@@susie-moore Absolutely, it's the most exhausting situation I've ever dealt with in my life. The ramifications of her actions and choices created such mental & emotional turmoil and self distrust within her son that his partner (me) has to maneuver through and deal with..so confusing and feels like a full time job that I didn't apply for. A bait n switch as I didn't find out until after marriage the depth of his pain as he wore his mask well.. I couldn't imagine a world without my mother's genuine love. She tried to add me as a supply yet given her words & actions I can't trust her esp if she treats her own blood that way. So sadly, I keep my distance. No one's perfect yet the verbal abuse, manipulation, gaslighting and enmeshment is so heartbreaking to witness from a "loved" one. Beautiful much needed work and knowledge ❤

[@jamiesivley5321]

Hey @stacym - We've randomly selected some prize winners to ship a copy of Wendy's book and you are one of the winners! Here's the details - is you are in the US we will ship you a copy of the book - if you are outside the US we will send you an e-copy! Email [e-mail] with your shipping address!! ~ Jamie, #TeamSusie

[@stacym4952]

@@jamiesivley5321 Thank you SO SO much! I emailed my address a couple days ago. So excited to read this and arm myself. ❤🧡

[@RainmakerPublishing]

Most are seeking approval to win our favor. Deep seeded insecurity. That was powerful. So they can have their way. Great interview!!

[@susie-moore]

Love hearing your takeaway, Naja!! ❤️

[@carolyndennis6669]

This was Awesome!!!

[@susie-moore]

Thank you so much, Carolyn! ❤️ Isn't Wendy amazing? I learned so much from this interview as well!

[@tinaschwager3620]

What a great interview. I think the biggest takeaway is taking that moment to protect yourself and determine if you are going to take part in the conversation/argument or calmly remove yourself and come back later.

[@susie-moore]

Ah yes! What an amazing takeaway, Tina! ❤️

[@cyndigooch1162]

Or never go back, if possible! ❤

[@EnenSaaUasRastrygina]

I have been interested in learning how to deal with narcissists for a while, so this is not the first video on the subject I have watched. The biggest takeaway for me was how to use empathy to strategically proceed the confrontation, and that you can ask to take a moment and then explain what it was for.

[@susie-moore]

Love hearing this takeaway and insight EnenSaaUsa! Thank you for sharing!

[@marieandersson2953]

This video really showed me that I made the right decision 2 years ago and stopped living with an narcissist! Looking forward to read this book. Easy to follow this conversation with the text and that you talked so clear when english isn´t my native language.

[@susie-moore]

Thank you so much for sharing, Marie! Glad you found it valuable - and good for you in taking action in your life! ❤️

[@jamiesivley5321]

Hey Marie - We've randomly selected some prize winners to ship a copy of Wendy's book and you are one of the winners! Here's the details - is you are in the US we will ship you a copy of the book - if you are outside the US we will send you an e-copy! Email [e-mail] with your shipping address!! ~ Jamie, #TeamSusie

[@nancybradford8514]

I agree with what you're saying, but I have narcissists that won't listen to you or your rights at all, and I finally removed myself completely because her control had no limits, and my partner is afraid of her so she goes unchecked

[@susie-moore]

Good for you for setting boundaries, Nancy!

[@AMarye3]

I just added the book to my library. This is a must to understanding yourself and others.

[@susie-moore]

Love this, Anita! Thank you for sharing! ❤️

[@healthyfoodlover1124]

Wow that's great! Thank you all🙏🙏❤❤❤

[@susie-moore]

You are so welcome! Glad you enjoyed it!

[@cynthiangoy2409]

My biggest takeaway...I need to learn more about all these schemas!! So interesting and so resonant!

[@susie-moore]

Happy learning, Cynthia!! ❤️

[@jamiesivley5321]

Hey Cynthia- We've randomly selected some prize winners to ship a copy of Wendy's book and you are one of the winners! Here's the details - is you are in the US we will ship you a copy of the book - if you are outside the US we will send you an e-copy! Email [e-mail] with your shipping address!! ~ Jamie, #TeamSusie

[@mandylacy1856]

The practical strategies ! Thanks Suzie and Wendy

[@susie-moore]

You are so welcome, Mandy!❤️

[@LA-zb7kl]

Thanks so much for this. I've never been a vulnerable woman. I've married 2 infidels which makes me think 🤔 why me.? What's in my makeup or what have I triggered to cause this? Then I started to think it's about them not me. They both have suffered emotional and some physical abuse. I believe they are both covert narcissists. Thank you both so much.

[@susie-moore]

Thank you so much for sharing, LA!! You are so strong and amazing!! ❤️ xx

[@NAJAlliance]

This is such an excellent video. Touches on all the important issues! Thank you!

[@susie-moore]

Thank you so much for sharing!! Glad you found it valuable!!

[@justina8708]

This was such a wonderful interview… but It feels almost like the person that is not a narcissist has to jump through hoops (put in extra effort) to deal with someone who is a narcissist

[@susie-moore]

Thank you so much, Justina! I am glad you enjoyed it! It was eye opening to me as well! ❤️

[@ariellheacox253]

Hi! Based on this interview, I’m so excited to read this book. My biggest takeaway was about putting your little self in a safe place…. it was such a nice visualization and it really felt healing, even as Wendy described it. Thank you!

[@susie-moore]

Love hearing this, Ariell - and so happy you found it valuable! ❤️

[@jamiesivley5321]

Hey April- We've randomly selected some prize winners to ship a copy of Wendy's book and you are one of the winners! Here's the details - is you are in the US we will ship you a copy of the book - if you are outside the US we will send you an e-copy! Email [e-mail] with your shipping address!! ~ Jamie, #TeamSusie

[@loiswilson7474]

Thank you so much! Is there an audio version of this book?

[@susie-moore]

Thank you for listening, Lois! So glad you found it valuable ❤️

[@marcusaureliusstoic]

Great video! 🔥👏

[@susie-moore]

Thank you, Heath!!

[@terrancemcclendon456]

Disturbed/ insecure individuals looking to disturb others

[@susie-moore]

Thanks for taking the time to watch, Terrence!

[@joannrolle8506]

Great interview and I look forward to reading the book

[@susie-moore]

YES! I know you will enjoy it, Joann! Thank you for sharing! ❤️

[@jamiesivley5321]

Hey Joann- We've randomly selected some prize winners to ship a copy of Wendy's book and you are one of the winners! Here's the details - is you are in the US we will ship you a copy of the book - if you are outside the US we will send you an e-copy! Email [e-mail] with your shipping address!! ~ Jamie, #TeamSusie

[@joannrolle8506]

@@jamiesivley5321 Wonderful and thanks!

[@f.b.1856]

Kitabun adi nedir

[@solomonherskowitz]

Empathy is a sickness for me

[@susie-moore]

Wow! Look at that self awareness! Now the question is what can you do with that knowledge to take better care of you?

[@solomonherskowitz]

@@susie-moore you're awesome thank you

[@jacobeickhardt84]

VERY misleading Interview! "Empatic Confrontation" and "Limited Reparenting" are important interventions in Schema Therapy with a Narcissist! BUT the therapist needs to have leverage and be very experienced in this Personality Disorder! IF you try to do this in your private life, they will exploit your Empathy!