Smartphone Abridged ONE-SHOT!!!

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CAST (By order of appearance)
Coffinjockey: Toya
@Coffinjockey
MrBuddyVA: God, Liam
/ mrbuddyva
Jeff Abridges: Mike
KaniDay: Elze
@kaniday9438
/ kanidayofficial
xbubblemounkyx: Linze
@xbubblemunkyx
Grimmjack69: Gregg, Lizard Wizard, additional voices
@grimmjack
YamatoSFX: Thomas
@YamatoSFX
Seigi: Yae
@SeigiVA
Sushi: Chi-Chi
@ChichiAi
Duke Ortlinde: Eagle8Burger
@eagle8burgerVA
Mom0ki: Ellen aka Mother Daughter
@caitlinmyers
Stormsage13: additional voices
@StormSage13
Hayabusa449: additional voices
/ actormmurdock
Dathromin: additional voices
@Dathromin
ElusiveVA: additional voices
@elusiveva6902
TheDastails: additional voices
@TheDastails
CREW
Editors: CharlestonVA, Redbeast13, MrBuddyVA, YamatoSFX
Writers: Coffinjockey, YamatoSFX, MrBuddyVA
VFX: YamatoSFX
Sound Mixing: MyToasterIsMoist
A Something Witty Production

[@SWE]

Get an exclusive Surfshark deal! Enter promo code WITTY for an extra 3 months free at surfshark.deals/witty

[@firstnamelastname9526]

How're y'all getting sponsorships on these now btw? Was under the impression patreon was already considered thin ice of it technically being supporting original works/bonuses/etc rather than directly the stuff using copyrighted material

[@kryptonianguest1903]

Surfshark should change their tagline to: Protect your baby from Vigo the Carpathian!

[@adam.............]

Are ya hiring?

[@chesspuppeteer]

If someone had a planned out idea for an abridged series, what would you recommend?

[@fiddlesticks7245]

The duke was crazy funny 🤣😭🤣 you've gone too far lmao I'm dying

[@filipwolffs]

I really like this idea of a protagonist who is a horrible person yet at the same time is still genuinely horrified by all the deviants he meets.

[@StealthMarmot_]

It seems to be the style of SWE. It works.

[@HiddenMistEnforcer]

So far seems to be all the rich, which as we have learned via Twitter (or X or whatever the hell) checks out.

[@BlizzyP039]

TVTropes' Everyone has Standards

[@Zanguinem]

Kazuma?

[@Bladez10]

@@Zanguinem​We need more Kazumas

[@ryanjones_rheios]

"She can do both" "That is the WORST answer!" is pure gold.

[@c.k-da-kxnghere]

I hated that scene in the funniest way

[@GeoRyukaiser]

"She can do both" sums up my average Crusader Kings 3 playthrough...

[@chaosmastermind]

I thought it was the BEST answer.

[@OurHourglass]

This is about when I started actually laughing out loud.

[@roryookane]

timestamps: 25:11 to 25:21

[@razumnygerstein2448]

“So sushi is your wife?! I thought she was your daughter!” “She can do both” “N-No! That’s the worst answer” I’m actually dying lmfao 🤣

[@griffins750]

“WOULD YOU LIKE A CHILD BRIDE” 💀💀💀

[@evman1094]

@@griffins750 WHY DID YOU THINK SINGING IT WOULD MAKE IT BETTER?!?!?

[@jeremygeller9145]

Me playing Crusader kings 3: depends on how good her stats are, and this way even if someone tries to cuck me, then it’s still A child of my family line who will inherit

[@BasicPsychology101]

I feel like I sinned watching this...... Time to see a priest...... oh wait.... shit.

[@John-Johnsonreal]

@@jeremygeller9145real

[@Pyrokess]

A tea addict, a random woman, a man who fails upwards, and a cowboy trapped in a samurai girls body. Truly an adventure

[@skem9622]

This sounds like the best anime ever

[@jureigeeksoutoccasionally]

I am so sad this isnt getting a follow up probably, this sounds like the best anime ever

[@DesertFernweh]

Sounds like a dnd game when the DM has severe ADHD and all the players stole their Adderall.

[@Steampunk_enjoyer]

That sounds like a top tier DND adventure

[@Rekhan4242]

So just a regular today for me? (Adderall only lasts so long) ​@@DesertFernweh

[@Infovorousness]

Honestly the soft revelation that our protagonist somehow isn’t the worst person in this universe was hilarious

[@helmutstein1178]

I'm still confused how he would have cured cancer....

[@nexalzexus3748]

​@@helmutstein1178 I could see him making a cure for cancer and immedietely making it so expensive that it would quite literally bankrupt most people.

[@DaviSCoelho5]

​@@helmutstein1178Maybe to do whatever he wants. "I mean he did do these awful things, but he also cured cancer, so we can't do anything about it."

[@jov-lan7482]

@@helmutstein1178 He seems pretty smart so if enough studying and research he could find a way

[@pitioti]

Linze going full psychopath for tea was also a great running gag !

[@jeremylangford2990]

''YOUR WIFE, I thought sushi was your daughter''. ''She can do both''. I LOST IT AT THIS POINT

[@StealthMarmot_]

Forget it Jack, it's Chinatown

[@lukelyon1781]

Bro when she said "break a piece of me... do it!" My jaw hit the floor in shock. Glad he burned that place down.

[@raymondwiggins354]

I was already laughing at 24:43 when sushi yelled "daughter!"

[@alexandercollinson4040]

NO!!! That's-... That's the WORST possible answer!

[@Emmariscobar]

I love the detail that he seems to consider "being someone's daughter" as a thing you *do* instead of a thing you *are* .

[@StarRider587]

I like how SWE had to edit the title like a month later and specify that its a one shot because people kept asking if theres gonna be more Smartphone abridged

[@RandomPerson07734]

We were practically given drugs so as results wanting more of it

[@Ilikebats123]

Honestly for the best. Between SAO and now MHA abridged it's good to get some focus. Plus one-offs like this are a neat little surprise.

[@deathsheir2035]

one shots are a hell of a drug man.

[@anime4you683]

@@Ilikebats123 well and if they ever want to do another one they already have the base for it.

[@ksaraf23]

@@deathsheir2035the way they ended it leaves little room for future episodes.

[@MeleeTiger]

Taking a character who was weirdly chill with his whole predicament and making him super manipulative and vindictive, was comedy genius.

[@EmiyaHikari]

Honestly, I'm on his side. He has the right for compensation for his premature death and the compensation he wanted is to be god.

[@nightraven836]

God accidentally killing the guy who cures cancer is gold.

[@arcage_0132]

He didn’t cure cancer bro

[@airgeadlamh]

@@arcage_0132 he was going to.... eventually

[@rmunoz1994]

Given his personality he would have made it completely unaffordable so only the wealthy could get it.

[@arcage_0132]

@@rmunoz1994 bro did you even read it?

[@Mina_Angel]

On the toilet with lightning. God really needed a laugh.

[@MillieTheSillie616]

The Raw goddamn power behind this interaction "You are so awful" "Well I was made in your image"

[@pajwubx1809]

Same energy as "open your menu" and "just come on over"

[@roryookane]

timestamp: 7:00

[@sirapplecore4392]

And "(...)no need to wonder where your God is. Cause he's right here! And he's fresh out of Mercy."

[@EmiyaHikari]

I can't agree, I'm jewish

[@Sazazezer]

So my working theory on this is that 'girl's are a skill now' is basically like what's happening in SAOA with the charisma stat. Muffin is essentially the low level opponent, so Touya's words basically have an addictive effect on her. Anything he says or suggests is basically the best thing ever for her, which is why she became immediately addicted to tea at his suggestion and then demands his praise like a junkie.

[@AdmiralHalsey1944]

That... that makes a terrifying amount of sense

[@CiaranMaxwell]

Explains everything. Leaves no questions. Far too much sense.

[@jotheunissen9274]

That must mean Yae is higher level than Toya because Toya's speech doesn't affect her

[@Sazazezer]

@@jotheunissen9274 You sure? She was strangely accepting of anything he said.

[@jotheunissen9274]

@@Sazazezer Maybe same level? She was not nearly as effected as Muffin and even could speak back to Touya with Touya sensing he could not assert his will and was unable to change her name

[@neoswagtwigofthetwignation9778]

I love how at first Toya seemed kind and polite when in reality he's a selfish and sadistic psychopath.

[@TheGreatBackUpVIDEOS]

I feel like that describes half of the SWE reimaginings of characters.

[@neoswagtwigofthetwignation9778]

@@TheGreatBackUpVIDEOS True

[@raiderrivers3629]

@@TheGreatBackUpVIDEOS Well just asuna really. kirito makes it obvious not that he is sadistic that’s all asuna and Asuna admits she pretends to be nice to people

[@masteroflag]

Sorta like the book honestly. He’s extremely selfish in his own head a lot but since the plot has him need friends and eventually have responsibilities and wives he has to attend to constantly against his own better judgment he just has that sense of being responsible to balance out those feature

[@josesoares4601]

He can do both

[@Ryan-be9iu]

Watching kirito get proposed to then have his spine shattered is an experience I didn’t think I’d have the pleasure of seeing

[@yourfriendlyinternetmeatshield]

GARYS REVENGE

[@davankrueger1725]

I am sorry it was not kirito it was archer

[@mirzapramudya1580]

​@@davankrueger1725you mean Shirou?

[@ProjectDT88]

Touya is the Bane to Kirito’s Batman

[@dashfire109gaming5]

@@mirzapramudya1580I mean. He wanted that diamond antler

[@rhobeans]

Can’t believe no one’s ever thought to give the overpowered Iskeai protagonist a God complex before. Brilliant.

[@pitioti]

Well, some Isekai did it more or less :'D But never to make fun of the genre, yes !

[@henriquebecker4453]

How not to summon a demon lord did it great in it's own way, it's a shame they waste so much time building a harem for the protagonist.

[@Actual-Knight]

​@@henriquebecker4453I feel like this could describe most of the genre

[@oscaranderson5719]

⁠@@Actual-Knightthey’d also save a lot of time skipping the whole reincarnation subplot too. most of the time it’s about as relevant as the Avengers movies are to a 50-chapter Hulk x Thanos fanfic.

[@hentaiprotag7122]

Eminence of shadow?

[@brandonwhite562]

"Sushi is your wife?! I thought she was your daughter" "She can do both"

[@Skybound-wd4pm]

THAT'S THE WORST ANSWER!

[@BasicPsychology101]

"Don't you kiss phone Satan in front of me!" Really caught me off guard there. Thanks SWE.

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

*I like how, even in the afterlife, people are still upset that modern smartphones don't have headphone jacks.*

[@thegreatandterrible4508]

Where would he even get headphones?

[@keepironman14]

I HAVE A PEN *INSIDE MY PHONE*, THE LENGTH OF MY PHONE BUT NOT A HEADPHONE JACK! The good able Bluetooth is that no cable to break. The bad thing?: no cable to loop around the ear. I used to use the cable to bypass work restrictions on headphones. They weren't in my ear but on my ear, acting as private speakers while still allowing me to hear the surroundings.

[@keepironman14]

​@thegreatandterrible4508 just wait til he realizes THEY DON'T HAVE ELECTRICITY. SWE could use that when they finally reach the conversation with a recorded message. "I was told you would know what to do with this" 'OMG A CHARGER!' *plugs in then calls god to complain*

[@KJetixsSuccessor]

I felt seen there. 😂

[@KJetixsSuccessor]

@@thegreatandterrible4508Build/Make them, and they will come. 😎

[@jessevancooney6963]

Hearing Kirito as a 2 bit thug in a different abridge is too much

[@AnatoDragonshard]

Also goblin slayer abridged was his partner. Gold.

[@ethanklee9041]

I like Izzy in fate abridged

[@joshc3802]

How is that out of character for Abridged Kirito?

[@kurokhan28]

@@joshc3802Kirito is a thug, just not a 2-bit thug.

[@joshc3802]

@@kurokhan28 Fair lol

[@mitrashailendra3817]

At first I had my suspicions, but at the end, after seeing the palace on fire? Yeah, this is definitely Asuna's brother.

[@Visual39]

underrated comment

[@alsinakiria]

Considering the psychopathy but desire to do right anyway I thought grandkid. This kid has some Yui in him.

[@mariolis]

SWE Please make this canon !!!!

[@wearr_]

the fact that yae has a deep southern voice feels incredibly off and incredibly accurate at the same time

[@Aaa-vp6ug]

The fact that she looks like Reimu just makes it so much funnier.

[@megasartshack]

I like the three act structure of Toya; - Gaining control - Flexing control - Abruptly losing control of the situation

[@FirstLast-wk3kc]

Lol yes

[@StealthMarmot_]

This is the journey of all D&D Dungeon Masters.

[@oscaranderson5719]

@@StealthMarmot_also the players, but unlike DMs they only need to rewrite two sheets of paper when things break.

[@TherusOneWolf]

masterful writing.

[@meapyboy12345]

@@StealthMarmot_ 🤣😂 oh my god you are right

[@mellmellody]

I love this protagonist. He's like the personification of "even evil has standards".

[@ethanklee9041]

Lawful evil

[@ashikjaman1940]

"I'm just friends with Satan what the fuck is wrong with you people"

[@chimera9818]

@@ashikjaman1940technically satan is in Judaism god prosecutor so not exactly evil

[@Darth_Bateman]

@@ethanklee9041neutral evil

[@ethanklee9041]

Lawful evil fits evil with standards better than neutral evil does.@@Darth_Bateman

[@someonesnemesis817]

As someone who's read all the light novels, I can say that Touya having Satan's phone number is absolutely, positively, unbelievably.... in character.

[@fnfailer2476]

As someone who has not read all the novels. Can you give me the spoiler

[@someonesnemesis817]

@@fnfailer2476 Touya's not a bad guy, it's just that, phrases like: I swear I'm not a villain, or, It's not like I'm a seasoned kidnapper or something, are things Touya says to himself a lot. He does some pretty hardcore things, but most were not shown in the anime. Like that one time that a bunch of guys threatened Linze and Elze. He erected nine poles, strung them upside down and stripped them naked, and left a sign that listed the crimes they committed.

[@someonesnemesis817]

I forgot to mention, while he was still alive on earth, he was actually connected to the criminal underworld, and had the phone number of a mob boss. I swear, I'm not making these up!

[@electroninja7419]

@@someonesnemesis817 Wait, why does this actually sound good?

[@someonesnemesis817]

@@electroninja7419 ❤

[@leobastian_]

"i now know all the magic" "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU"

[@Alex-zp4pb]

Dude went from sweetest cinnamon bun to full sociopath before I could blink.

[@mediokay508]

Got us in the first half.

[@Wala_na]

Same, I'm like "bro nothing much changed." Then bam! Sociopath. 😂

[@im_aleey]

I mean if you had the upper hand on God and could make demands wouldn't you?

[@Xbalanque84]

Sociopaths tend to be good at hiding that.

[@legendg3067]

@@Xbalanque84 takes one to know one 😂

[@Alex_From_Florida]

I love how most of the video Toya is depicted as an evil sociopath to the point that he’s best buds with the devil, but then when he meets Duke Ortlinde, he acts like a normal person unable to process whatever *that* was

[@railgun-2814]

Even Lucy has standards

[@JohnThomas-no9hs]

Pedophilia is never ok, so sayeth Toya and satan

[@chimera9818]

@@JohnThomas-no9hsand also god toya servant

[@patternwhisperer4048]

Professionals have standards

[@Arrakiz666]

Classic Isekai Protagonist Syndrome really.

[@anguisrex9271]

"Hot leaf juice" Uncle Iroh is rolling over in his grave right now.

[@slevinchannel7589]

!!??

[@jotheunissen9274]

Didn't he become a spirit?

[@dudeinadoughboy4327]

"How could a member of my own Harem say something so horrible?!"

[@Clepto_and_Co]

I just noticed that when Toya was trying to get everyone to leave the mansion that was the only time he addressed anybody by their name. He was so freaked out he dropped the nicknames for a second, very good attention to detail

[@tylercoon1791]

Evil Kirito be like: *is generally friendly and pleasant*

[@bobono]

so evil kirito is reki's kirito, got it.

[@Mina_Angel]

Till he had his spine shattered. Now crippled and pleading.

[@tylercoon1791]

@@bobono yes

[@AnInsideJoke]

Except for the attempt at armed robbery part.

[@Oyi_14]

​@@AnInsideJokeyeah he would have succeeded

[@isthisagoodusername9764]

I like the implication that Toya was genuinely a sweet, lovely young man and he just needed a little push from God literally killing him.

[@aanrrat1354]

No, no he was exactly as twisted from the start, notice he never uses anyones Name during the entire thing. What he needed was power and levarage which he got IMEDIATLY. cuz this is thrashy Isekai. Still its bloody hillarious.

[@ShadowReignhart]

​@@aanrrat1354He did call Tae by their name, albeit in Passing as a sarcastic quip, buy he did say her name.

[@n0ame1u1]

@@ShadowReignhart He also called Linz by her name in the last scene

[@Acid_Portal]

Toyua knew FUCKING LUCIFERS PHONE NUMBER. I don’t think he’s the best of us

[@n0ame1u1]

@@Acid_Portal I personally think he was just trolling God

[@DieAndroids.ForGohan]

You stopped God from talking for an add. Damn you got some guts.

[@Xbalanque84]

Meh, it's Japanese God, aka a cheap knock-off. Since he's not a proper hotheos, you can get away with a lot more.

[@DieAndroids.ForGohan]

But you forget if God sees this what will he do

[@KirbyFokson]

The 'modest living' speech was so well-delivered, I can't stop grinning lmao

[@mediokay508]

"I was made in... your image." Damn, that line was cold. I thought we were getting Izuku, but we got male Asuna. 😆

[@yellow_highlighter]

I don't think his racist tho

[@mediokay508]

@@yellow_highlighter hard to be racist when everyone is beneath him equally.

[@Sakuta3220]

"male Asuna" I fucking love this 😭 also Abridged Asuna >>>> Canon Asuna

[@DarkEnigma95]

​@@Sakuta3220Agreed Abrided is better than Canon when she is involved

[@charlesbullock6638]

​@@mediokay508soooo, Kirisuna?

[@thundergames6579]

"Would you like a child bride?" Gives off the same energy as "WE WOULD LIKE TO BUY ONE CHILD PLEASE." And I love it.

[@edwardschwarz665]

​@aeonreign6456SAO abridged

[@JoeDarkPlatinumJDP]

same @aeonreign6456 same

[@DSilverio]

shits briliant

[@AnelorGalor]

Hope we dont have to sacrifice a child each time we have an argument. Otherwise, buying that orphanage would have been a good idea.

[@Dr.Starbound]

​@@AnelorGalorin a very offensive yet hilarious Jewish accent

[@Emmariscobar]

26:18 I love the detail that he's so desperate to leave that he actually calls Muffin by her real name for once

[@dinoz2113]

WOW he really wanted to leave 😂

[@orionwhitney897]

I swear this cast has the Midas touch because everything they make is fucking gold

[@darealamana8850]

"Ive never felt guilty about taking money before, so why start now" Pure gold right here.

[@angry_eck]

Yes that is what he took

[@roryookane]

timestamp: 24:21

[@truehexproof]

"I am petty as well as powerful, and fickle as I am fine" is such a fucking well written line

[@sandrosliske]

And they already set that up with him saying he wanted to be God. So on point

[@michaelhuff7712]

"Goodbye, with such a STRONG last line, Mike!!" The one line I love, so much.

[@conigonde]

There is no way he would've went on to cure cancer in a way that wouldn't be both inhumane and illegal

[@theendersmirk5851]

I disagree. It'd be perfectly legal despite being extremely inhumane and immoral. Dude's Lawful Evil, and talented at it.

[@checkmated2667]

@@theendersmirk5851 He'd patent the cure and lock it behind insane prices.

[@harrya9458]

I imagine exorbitant prices and limited supply would be his quick ticket to an army of helicarriers

[@bestaround3323]

The characters actually have personalities. Clearly they have completely ignored the source material.

[@umad42]

Obviously, yes

[@Racecarlock]

Who wouldn't?

[@lavlilacmoon]

now now. that anime was basically let's gift this guy literally everything and set the difficulty on extra easy mode. the personalities of the characters being a wet paper towel were by design.

[@michiorarimsama7179]

Some isekai don't have MC with personality, are carton-like characters for the auto insert self otakus i, Kirito is the first proof of that

[@fpsesadorsomethinglikethat1859]

Thank God

[@williammilhans5146]

The harmonized "would you like a child bride?" absolutely *slayed* me

[@yukirinbushida605]

I mean. It's basically the whole plot of Isekai Smartphone lmao

[@Klaaism]

Get the maids!

[@OverdriveGamesAnime]

We're going to need a choir

[@YouTubePurgetheblackplague]

25:40

[@KirbyKips]

My favorite part of the whole video in my opinion

[@limerence8365]

The whole isekai godlike powers but mainly perfectly intelligent women losing all agency and becoming a mindless harem is such an unsettling concept to me and this episode perfectly exemplified that unsettling tone but in a subtle way just goes to show the genius of this video. He's not a humble protagonist, he'd a manipulative control freak and only by witnessing someone worse than him can his character arc comes to any satisfying conclusion.

[@Ferralsnow]

Imagine when he pays the phone bill the money goes to the Kirito is always right foundation

[@xerofire]

Izzy not voicing the MC is a shocking change of pace

[@Dr.Starbound]

It's refreshing honestly. I doubt Izzy could have done this as well.

[@Drip_Wooper]

it wouldnt fit much tbh, I think his voice's better for either emotion/passion driven characters or whinny people, he knows how to make a really good scream, the mc here feels like a crazed emotionless person

[@alexandercollinson4040]

Yeah, but you gotta change up the MCs every now and again. Otherwise you get a bunch of Adult Swim BS where all the protagonists are either Edward Elrich or Kurosaki Ichigo voices, and you don't feel like investing in any anime because it really does start to feel like the same, recycled, bullsh*t. That being said... I do think they should do a Zom100 abridged where Izzy voices the MC of that series as well.

[@michaelreyes9283]

@@alexandercollinson4040ichigo and Edward are voiced by two different voice actors and don’t even sound alike lol

[@alejandrooo9495]

is Izzy the guy who voices Kirito?

[@HiddelS143]

I thought toya's dry delivery was bad at first but as he kept talking, i was like "You're not like... a crazy person? Right?"

[@Marcuscrixus]

Crazy people don't know that they are crazy, but I know I'm crazy so that means I'm not crazy, isn't that crazy?

[@spectated8159]

There's a saying in my family. You can't be a millionaire without being evil, just like you can't be a billionaire without being a psychopathic serial killer. You know. Cause of all the starving children?

[@sinfulshell3959]

@@Marcuscrixus Crazy? I was crazy once.

[@aper765]

@@sinfulshell3959NOOOOOOOOOOO

[@discord4039]

@@spectated8159 You can totally be a millionaire without being evil. Millionaires are mostly just people who get a lot of money, there's a variety of ways to do that. Billionaires, however....

[@SolarFluxation]

Noooo! They made this into a one-shot?! That sucks, I would’ve loved to see them make a whole series!

[@JellyJoce]

ITS A ONE SHOT??? 💔💔

[@danguy6591]

You want them watch that garbage excuse of a show entirely?

[@vbarreiro]

@@danguy6591Yes! They are King Midas! They turn shit into gold that is their whole deal!

[@kiptheott5932]

Apparently they didn't actually enjoy making it at all, since unlike SAO they genuinely do not like the show this is abridging at all and procrastinated on it for months.

[@Fanimati0n]

​@@kiptheott5932understandable

[@needycoolcjsbf9344]

18:40 “Hold on there one bow, two bow, red bow, blue bow, there’s a process to this”

[@reptile1687]

Or you can just call me yae

[@needycoolcjsbf9344]

@@reptile1687it took real guts to stand up to me like you just did… you get to keep your name…

[@reptile1687]

@@needycoolcjsbf9344 WHY DOES SHE GET TO KEEP HER NAME

[@needycoolcjsbf9344]

@@reptile1687​​⁠​⁠because i am petty as well as powerful, and fickle as i am fine

[@Dr.SwagPHDinDrip]

When the Diamond antler broke, I was confused why it didn’t shatter like the stuff in SAO. But then I realized it isn’t fucking SAO or a VR world.

[@cecilsmith2061]

every second of that was real bro even the child bride

[@venusgreen2402]

This comment is fucking hysterical, I love it

[@Klaaism]

Weird vibes hearing a thug (with a surprising level of backstory development) sound like Abridged Kirito.

[@jesusofbullets]

Something about hearing Kirito and Goblin slayer professing their love for each other while mugging two women in a dark alley just mindbreaks me. I love SWE so much.

[@Cross_Malaki]

I thought that was Ban.

[@BlazingFire12]

​@@Cross_Malakiis goblin slayer and Ban

[@ddunfuh9239]

From what i can tell touya is the goblin slayer dwarf

[@CenrelianGuardsmen]

As someone allergic to dubbed, I learned something today, maybe I’ll go watch dubbed goblin slayer now 😂

[@ryanmorgan7380]

I died laughing at this moment

[@Joyful_Traitor]

Love the line "I am petty as well as powerful" @ 18:52

[@Badmunky64]

I love how he dropped the nicknames in a panic at the end.

[@KahranRamsus]

"Does it have a headphone jack?" It pipes music directly into your brain! "I'd rather have a headphone jack." As someone who has sold phones during this time period, this is incredibly relatable.

[@ingvarsuigin609]

How's life in year 2500?

[@spartan9458]

Just give me my headphone jack and no one gets hurt. (says while wearing a bluetooth headset for calls, this is NOT to be used for music! just CALLS!) seriously though, Headphone jacks are still very useful. I always wind up buying adapters now and those can be lost...

[@johnalogue9832]

If we can't get replaceable batteries, a screen that doesn't have a CAMERA CUTOUT, or be free of the bloat/spy/adware whatever carrier oligopoly wants to jam into our OS, the least we could get is a technological standard from the literal 19th century! Arghhghgh. I have much more to add, but I'm done now.

[@colby1398]

I wish phones still had headphone jacks. Being forced to use bluetooth or not being able to charge the phone is a pain

[@johnalogue9832]

@@colby1398 Especially stupid in applications where you set down the phone to let it drive the headphone jack, where bluetooth wouldn't make sense. Then you have to manage the battery. Anyways, there are *some* phones with headphone jacks, I just think the carrier oligopilies only "give" you a few brands to choose from in their weird deals. Very, very anticompetitive. I know someone with a Sony smartphone that they got because it had a reputation for not only having the HJ but having good audio in general. But it's not an iPhone or a Samsung, etc.

[@Thepotatohidingintheshadows]

Mother father Daughter That scene legit broke me I was stuck between violent laughing and coughing fits Everyone thought something was wrong until I showed them in which they said “what is your humor” which led to more laughing fits

[@Demonslayre]

You clowns can't do this to me. You can't. You already have me waiting eagerly for two, TWO, of your abridged series episodes to release. You can't go dropping another fire abridged on me. This... this is unfair. I NEED MOAR

[@wingdinggaster6737]

It’s a one shot, so you won’t be waiting for episodes for this one

[@Demonslayre]

@@wingdinggaster6737 Correction: I'll be waiting for an eternity.

[@TheAnimeEncyclopedia]

​@@Demonslayretheres a MHA Abridged they are doing. Make that a 3 now XD

[@Chuckakhan]

Dw there is more

[@marlom7882]

This version of touya is *definitely* much more interesting than ANY other harem ecchi protagonist ever

[@alendonvaldor5808]

Kazuma?

[@originaljoke4502]

@@alendonvaldor5808 kazumas "harem" consists of two kids and a variety of women who he almost hates

[@alendonvaldor5808]

@@originaljoke4502 XD True. Konosuba is also tbf, a satire of Isekai in general.

[@marlom7882]

@@alendonvaldor5808 yes he’s more interesting than kazuma. Kazuma is still a pervert which is pretty common in harems. This guys just wants servitude and money. I respect that

[@alandtic4616]

To be fair that’s not a high bar but he is still good

[@SATELLITEDOWN7735]

Lol "I thought she was your daughter not your wife!?" "She can be both" "NO! that's the WORST answer"

[@philipweber9545]

Crusader kings:

[@YouTubePurgetheblackplague]

24:50

[@YouTubePurgetheblackplague]

Daughters plural 😂😂😂😂

[@givecamichips]

It's kinda funny, the only person who is both less chaotic and less evil than Toya is literally God.

[@boonyd4161]

"Break a piece of me, do it." The way sushi delivered that line made me so legitimately uncomfortable.

[@dawesome_sauce]

Nothing legitimately upsets friends like getting the earworm that makes you bust out singing "WOULD YOU LIKE A CHILDBRIDE?"

[@redraptor0680]

“Get the maids, We’re gonna need a choir”

[@dlm292]

WE WOULD LIKE ONE CHILDBRIDE, PLEASE

[@katier9725]

America moment.

[@hotduelist]

Died

[@mattmiltenberger145]

God damn it 🤣🤣🤣@@dlm292

[@anozymous1]

"You are so awful." "Well, I was made in your image, sir." Best insult of a deity ever.

[@Just_Some_Guy_with_a_Mustache]

Ma, get the camera. Something Witty Entertainment improved another series, again. This time, in less than 30 minutes. Arguably in less than 7 minutes, if we're being honest. Shoutout to Sushi's Father-Husband for managing to make Toya afraid. A man who didn't bat an eye with God or the Devil. Put the fear of Sushi-Daddy in him.

[@tsdZero1993]

So I accidentally hit something on my keyboard and went from "Well, I'd like to be god" and it Fast forwarded it to "Alright you sack of shit, get out of my 5x5" and I laughed so hard.

[@casualfanatic4217]

SWE continues to turn terrible isekai anime into something gold

[@twitching_bot574]

Technically they've never done an actual isekai before. SAO is a borderline isekai. Infinite Dendogram and Bofuri are the same. They are close, but it's arguable whether VR really counts as "another world."

[@invader_jim2837]

@@twitching_bot574 It doesn't but there are enough retards out there who will die on that hill that it "is" an isekai now.

[@Dr.Mcstaby]

@@twitching_bot574 finally someone gets it

[@Dr.Mcstaby]

@casualfanatic4217 SAO and smartphone weren't bad shows, I've watched a ton of anime there are way worse shows than these 2 out there.

[@invader_jim2837]

@@Dr.McstabySOA is fine for the most part but Smartphone was fairly uninspired poo throughout. Just coz there are worse doesn't mean something is good.

[@shamelesscoder7737]

"The guy who cures cancer ok-" had me dying lmao

[@nicholashernandez4611]

Hope they can treat that for you. Since, you know, God killed the guy who was going to cure it.

[@AAAAAAAAA.....]

Cancer'nt

[@RicardoMeansKing]

I just genuinely love the MC personality in this, a beauty to see

[@kennykurniawan]

He broke Kirito’s spine, he is truly a God

[@ax8893]

I love how Toya goes from super casual, friendly and understanding to vindictive and theatrical as hell

[@Demonslayre]

Well, God kinda screwed him. Twice. Its Toy's time now.

[@qq-wy7zs]

It sounded sarcastic to me. I was under the impression that he understood the whole situation from the beginning and was manipulating the conversation to embarrass God and get his free wishes.

[@Tenajeh]

I guess you can be super casual and friendly about everything if you are holding Satan by the balls. I do not believe for a second that Lucy is happy to have Toya around as a "friend".

[@Neyonius]

@@qq-wy7zs whaaaaaaat? noooooo... He was just being an understanding victim...

[@notchs0son]

Well when a god smites you on the toilet you lose your caring bone.

[@RolandTheJabberwocky]

Abridged series are at their best when you cant tell if they love or despise the source material.

[@Phantasmagorique]

I'm pretty sure it's a little bit of both there. Like, we all know Smartphone isn't a creative masterpiece... But I still had fun reading a few volumes of the novel.

[@richiescarf7993]

I don’t think they liked it

[@kingj9664]

​@@Phantasmagorique So is the king really married to sushi and the blind girl was really their daughter please tell me I'm actually going Insane not knowing the answer

[@vienalicaway2585]

@@kingj9664 No, the king didn't have child bride but Mc did, the girl is in his harem.

[@jackofclubs6229]

“They can do both.”

[@chocolatetobi]

The mother-daughter part shocked me twice, as I didn't have my eyes on screen the first time and wanted to rewatch that part.

[@neccosan]

i'm so sad this is a one-shot and not a new series, this is way too good 😭

[@TemporalEcho]

“Did somebody say ‘Tombstone fucker?’” I haven’t laughed to the point of tears in years, thank you SWE

[@zombiedemon1762]

Just imagine.... That time I got reincarnated as a Tombstone fucker.

[@skinnywizard6351]

@@zombiedemon1762 already making it

[@BarioIDL]

@@zombiedemon1762 necrophilia ain't that bad for a plot i mean

[@zombiedemon1762]

@@skinnywizard6351 . Awesome.

[@skinnywizard6351]

@@BarioIDL Crackin open a cold one with the boys

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

*I love how SAO is so taxing and draining that you've decided to abridge an entirely separate series just to delay the inevitable.*

[@floricel_112]

Not the story. This was a patreon reward request. They hated the show so much they ended up procrastinating on making it like crazy. SAO, they actually like

[@yourfriendlyinternetmeatshield]

​@@floricel_112"The more you know" thank you

[@JustATrippyDuck]

I hate this one too tbh, but they made it sooooo much better

[@arqueiroXD]

Tbh this is worst. Sao still has salvageable stuff...this one the only way to save it is literally to burn every single concept to the ground@@floricel_112

[@Cr3zant]

@@floricel_112 Well that doesn't make much sense. The entirety of the fanbase of SAOA hates SAO, so why would SWE be any different?

[@Dr.Starbound]

I don't know what's funnier That half of this is some of the most quotable lines SWE has ever produced, or that this was the project that reportedly the group hated the most.

[@wooba849]

This is just a group of people that didn't sleep for weeks and wrote the visions they saw as they struggled to stay awake. Great content, best I've seen from this channel in like a year.

[@bluej4life183]

4 minutes, it took 4 minutes to make him immensely more interesting than he ever was in the show. Respect

[@pajwubx1809]

And in the manga

[@pajwubx1809]

And agreed, him coming off as friendly and slowly but surely started to hustle God

[@patchworkgolem]

​@@pajwubx1809And in the novel

[@sandrosliske]

Wasn't exactly a high bar to pass but they soared over it nevertheless.

[@ssfbob456]

"You can trust me, I'm a wizard." That certainly isn't going to be my next D&D character's catch phrase.

[@martywilkinson4010]

Same!

[@davidpoole7098]

Bonus points for playing a class other than wizard, double for classes without magic

[@jaisummons2304]

Rouge: Trust me I'm a wizard Rouge: Does something that looks like magic Rouge: I cast a stealth spell, wearing a brown robe and cotton boots it feels like walking on socks so sneaks without trease. Oil the floor and raising the nails above the floor.

[@colby1398]

​@@jaisummons2304how did you manage to spell rogue incorrectly 3 different times?

[@adamnesmith3912]

​@colby1398 Trust him he's a wizard.

[@Speedj2]

"it pipes music directly into your brain" "i'd rather have a headphone jack" this is such a mood

[@RulerofDeath-vj4mc]

"Does anybody know how to glue a face back on? Please tell me!" 😂

[@yukirinbushida605]

"Would you like a child bride?". I mean, yeah that's it, that's the whole plot of isekai smartphone right there

[@YuuKiira]

and being a God

[@user-cg7gd5pw5b]

Nah you're exaggerating! The average age of his wives is 78 years old. The median age is 13, though, and his harem includes a 10 years old and 2 12 years old, but let's stick to the average.

[@Xbalanque84]

​@@user-cg7gd5pw5b I can't tell if you're joking, and that worries me.

[@whateverwhatever4476]

Of course it is

[@js1031]

​@@user-cg7gd5pw5bThe fact that he has a fairy who's hundreds of years old in his harem but the average age is only 78 is...greatly disturbing.

[@tyler89557]

Touya wanting a headphone jack truly spoke to my soul

[@Klaaism]

Looking at you Apple!

[@killian9314]

I really wanted to believe one could Drill for it, like the Techrax troll way back when

[@themasterofw4295]

For sure

[@xxcoltonxx2540]

We need you to abridge the whole series now

[@r0cketm00se3]

"Well I'm not gonna fight you on it, obviously." Excellent work, perfect delivery. It took me a second to see the brilliance of the immediate callback.

[@bio9leader60]

"Through what mechanism do you think you could stop me?" Is honestly my favorite line.

[@louisduarte8763]

Mine's "I've never felt guilty about accepting money before, so why start now?" And the Helicarrier speech.

[@sassyNsarcastic]

Probably the kind of mentality that would've allowed him to create the cure for Cancer in the future😂🤣😂

[@Boomer212]

You've successfully bumped a hard 3/10 show to a solid 9. I most certainly did not expect this abridged. Ever. From anyone. But you nailed it, Muffin.

[@iriszeldaana]

tbf they gained their first project was abridging sao so it’s not like they’re unfamiliar with the practice

[@MyKeyOFCL]

the other smartphone abridged was just.. oh god. it was even worse than the original series somehow

[@DSilverio]

i fucking love this lol mny friends are like oh god we found what you would be like in a isekai dear god an they shared this

[@Narrator1]

This show was such a banal, naked power fantasy, I knew there was going to be attempts to Abridge it. I didn't know that none other than Something Witty was going to be one of the attempts. I hope they nail this one to the cross.

[@DSilverio]

@@Narrator1 oh they will an they already regret it

[@Moon_samurai]

24:31 it would’ve been really funny if he just slapped googly eyes on her and call it day 😂😂😂

[@ShadyDoorags]

The line delivery on "and as FRIENDS!" always sends me.

[@potahtwah9591]

I need it to be expressedly clear, because some people on stream had no idea, this isn't a new series. At the end of an anniversary stream, they unveiled this as an April Fools joke, and then the preview for the latest SAOA episode. They are already making two abridged series, and from what I understand, they dislike actual smartphone anime more than SAO or BNHA.

[@Mina_Angel]

ah okay thanks for explaining that part, But what is this swebathon deal ppl keep talking about

[@potahtwah9591]

@@Mina_Angel that is the stream

[@Mina_Angel]

@@potahtwah9591 ah okay thank you

[@norishimogawa6125]

Honestly a shame because i loved this

[@nolongeraperson]

They dislike BHNA????

[@yourfriendlyinternetmeatshield]

"... I wanna be God." *I snort laugh* "Don't phone kiss Satan in front of me!" Omg, this is gonna be GOLD.

[@dervakommtvonhinten517]

even after rewatching this a couple of times, this remains one of, if not the best abridged episode i have ever seen.

[@AnonymousAnonymous-gh5fs]

It is nothing short of Devastatingly Tragic that this is only a One Shot

[@zedrt7261]

I live SWE's style of rewriting generic isekai fantasy into goofy charcater dramas with an uncomfortable but funny amount of incest

[@ttd0000]

Do they do that often? Last I checked they were removing the incest from SAO.

[@thewingedone1172]

​@@ttd0000I was very dissapointed, I exprected them to go wild with incest humor and they just cut it all down.

[@none-ro9dz]

@@thewingedone1172 to be honest i think the vibe with SAOA was more "lets take a crappy show and turn it into a masterpiece" whereas this is more "this show is fucking irredeemable, lets just make fun of it"

[@FirstLast-wk3kc]

​@@ttd0000they make some crimes the global problem in each project. Sao ainkrad - Arseny Allo - Cannibalism Here it's different i guess... Anyway if u watch 6:40 their streams (at least post series commentary) u would know that they HATE incest in sao and it wasn't even a question if they will change it.

[@joshuawilliams4314]

@@none-ro9dzam I the only one who liked this show it was funny

[@uknownhero2764]

Is this an out of season April Fools joke? Because I'm all for it, let's see if they can polish a trash fire.

[@mariochaosspear]

After all they've done with SAO, maybe they can make it work.

[@thomaslaing6800]

Yes, it is; they premiered the episode on twitch (near) April Fools Day after doing a full watch through of the series and hinting there would be a surprise at the end.

[@theheroneededwillette6964]

Really? I didn’t think it was that bad…

[@Punched_Kuze]

@@theheroneededwillette6964So did I before noticing the sudden increase of OP Kirito (Non-abridged version) harem protagonists with cheats and able to solve everything making everyone seem incompetent or weak except for the main cast but underestimated by literally everyone only to then be folded by the protagonist because they counter all enemy types including but not limited to bandits, adventurers, boss monsters, leaders of the demon army, etc, popping up everywhere and eventually coining the trope as a Kirito being the easiest protagonist to write as a self-insert character that is relatable even though they’re Demi-humans which turns them into characters for a power fantasy which although not a bad concept immediately makes them bland without proper writing as there’s no development for them most of the time. Edit: Sorry for the longest sentence without proper punctuation. Edit 2: Could be wrong but there’s also the “for his neutral special he wields a gun” trope?

[@theheroneededwillette6964]

@@Punched_Kuze I don’t think this one specifically started that. And again, I don’t really mind that. It’s kind of like old Superman. It’s not a interest in if, it’s and an interest in how.

[@romanhorizon]

9:20 That tone shift of acceptance, from Hmmmmmm, to a enthusiastic Hm, Hmmmmmmm! *Peak voice acting*

[@marsfeathers]

21:11 "well i wouldn't fight you on it of course." Its my 4th rewatch and somehow i JUST got that one 😂

[@aeronoctem103]

"I may or may not be able to read, but either way I choose not to. Power move." Is the best Isekai main character line I've ever heard.

[@pwnorbepwned]

I love it. He starts out as the most twisted person, only to get overwhelmed by increasingly twisted people that end up making him seem normal. 🤣

[@bodenking]

And that’s why you don’t fuck with God

[@4lackofbetter]

Too bad it's a one shot. I was looking forward to him calling the King a subordinate and hating Yumina only to find out she's a masochist who enjoys that.

[@PartiallyCubed]

I love how they changed the name, so nobody asks for continuation anymore lol But I’ve watched this Brilliant masterpiece too many times for its length… Even though it took like 5 years I’m really glad you did make it! This is comedy! And I’ll keep it on my shelf (e-cloud) ❤❤❤

[@millenniumpidgey]

I just realized how badly toya wanted to get out of that place that he referred to linze by her actual name.

[@Neoansho]

At which time making?