Reddit's Biggest Regrets | Reading Reddit Stories

[@faireroux8802]

For the paintball guy, I hope he never tells the manager that he’s the one who shot him until one day when one of the two are leaving the job and they shake hands as their goodbye and OP pulls him in for a hug and whispers in his ear “Call the hit”

[@MrsUzumaki]

HAHAHA I love this

[@Plethiros]

LMAO

[@mcmjakke6323]

The story seems a little bit fake..few things were left out in the story at least

[@rhettmitchell]

And thus begins their love story

[@cristina08888]

😂😂😂

[@JKstudios3535]

For the paintball story if that guy ever quits or gets fired before he leaves, he should look right into his bosses eyes and say “call your hit “

[@emz2969]

that's brutal i love it

[@megangwilliam5343]

If those aren’t his parting words I will riot

[@pixeedustt.4097]

that's fucking incredible

[@justinantwine1164]

I would literally pay money to see that. That's soooo good. -Danielle

[@nr6916]

There better be an update if that ever happens istg 😂😂

[@SickoXXII]

There are few things in life that bring me as much joy and satisfaction as hearing Shayne say „there‘s an update“

[@mage1439]

It's all the better because THEY all get excited.

[@Random_Retard]

Same

[@cristina08888]

100%!!!

[@Cavemanner]

How and why do you use a quotation mark lower down like that?

[@kuobah]

​@@Cavemannerin school I was taught to do them that way as well, but I'm from a different country. I eventually started using the upwards quotations when speaking English. Maybe OP isn't from an English speaking country?

[@ElectricFury]

As a Brit, I feel like if this girl managed to commit to faking our accent for 12 years, we can claim her as one of us and therefore she isn't lying.

[@ki0riginal]

As anouther brit, I agree.

[@InquisiKorr]

Agreed, she has been claimed. Rule Britannia.

[@moreconstantthanthegods298]

Never thought I would witness wholesome British colonialism, but here we are.

[@thecasualsperspective]

​@@moreconstantthanthegods298 It's simply all we know

[@ascoadia282]

​@@moreconstantthanthegods298as a British person, this made me belly laugh and made my day tbh 😂

[@stormwalkers98]

I kind of love the way the tattoo observing OP views the world. Like he sees a piece of art on a person and immediately starts pondering about it like it's a little movie or story where he gets to imagine the ending. "Do you think the guy is going to make it?" Idk why that's just funny and charming to me lol.

[@navyasharma8604]

it really is so cute

[@paperhat9434]

Shayne going from being casual shayne, to dad-stache shayne, to therapist shayne, back to casual shayne is the best example of character development ive seen in a long time

[@AmondoDazz]

The Smosh Lore is crazy

[@aimlessalix8066]

Lol I need him to just keep cycling

[@stevenolivares5643]

Truly a hero’s journey

[@omarlopezproductions]

British Shane is my favorite though

[@retrofan93]

I kind of miss Dad-stache Shayne, he looked so hot and wholesome with it.

[@sydneysullins]

We all know Angela and Amanda are the sibling duo, but no one talks about Tommy and Courtney embodying the cool cousins at the family gathering energy

[@jax5823]

Totally!!😮

[@cosplayannie]

ABSOLUTELY

[@logankrbsmom]

Absolutely 100%.

[@enzo_gabriel3964]

Mhm 😊

[@lexiekaboom]

Wait wait wait, who said Angela and Amanda are the sibling duo? They either give out best friends or lesbian couple with a femme top and a chaotic bottom energy imo 😂

[@hannahhh..]

“Woo gays, gay it up !” is giving the same energy as “Mexican salsa, yes !”

[@angelaoriel5912]

omfg yes

[@katie18976]

I think these would make good merch, I would buy those 😅

[@Haley0822]

Also giving “work”

[@angelaoriel5912]

@@Haley0822 ALSO YES

[@LordVader1094]

You're forgetting the explicit comma between "Mexican" and "Salsa" lol

[@Mariethechaotic]

Tommy identifying as a gay penguin and Courtney being a "gay worm at home" was HILARIOUS. I laughed so hard it actually took my breath away (because covid). These Reddit Stories are going to kill me 😂

[@gonewiththewindows4912]

Omg that’s so real💀💀 hope you’re feeling better!

[@lilpetz500]

I remember a week where I had covdi last year and was already really going through it emotionally. I leaned a lot on comedy to feel better, but had to take breaks because I couldn't breathe between laughing. Also got super into old Pokemon games and the new one at the time so I could just go back to those days secretly playing the DS in bed past bedtime, but all day.

[@sam-ky9sj]

Asking "do you think the guy in the tattoo makes it?" about Jesus to a christian is so fucking funny I'm gonna cry

[@invertedLOL]

Christian here, that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day, not offended at all

[@ByJasmineDayton]

That is hilarious I would say no but then yes? 😂

[@Wade.Stikmann]

The comment about saving the relationship absolutely sent me 💀 haven't laughed that hard in a minute

[@HLB313]

He hasn’t seen the movie

[@siiapauu]

It's so refreshing listening to a storytime where all the people involved aren't the worst people in the planet and are just weird, awkward people that are almost endearing, like the teacher who supports gay penguins and the other one who sent to the principal on their own to confess their mistake

[@DJDB-Music]

As a teacher, it is such a relief whenever I hear non-teachers who are actually aware of how many parents want to curate exactly what their child learns to their own liking. Because I've met plenty of the opposite. Not that Courtney, Shayne, or Tommy will see this, but I do want to say a sincere thank you to all three of you for that. In a similar vein, I bet a "Teacher Reddit Stories" episode would be incredible (not that you need ideas from me or anything).

[@ndsketcher6445]

Also I think the Teacher Reddit Stories is an awesome idea, and it would be really cool if they could get a current/ former teacher who is big on social media to show up and be there for behind the scenes info and personal stories.

[@hanonondricek411]

They make a good point that it _was_ that teacher's bad for not reviewing the book ahead of time and being unprepared to discuss the major theme of it, but it sounded like they were skilled enough at teaching to improvise their way through it. I think it's sad that some parents think if their children express curiosity and interest in learning about other lifestyles that it's automatically going to change who they are and I guess somehow fall back on them that they didn't do a good job raising them? They take it personally and don't understand curiosity and inclusion _are_ good traits.

[@shanaejaye7688]

Teacher Reddit stories would be HILARR!

[@yyoveltube]

Agreed

[@summerskull9379]

That would be a great episode! Also would be cool if they could bring a youtube teacher on to get their perspective.

[@ani-o315]

Its not Saturday without Shayne and his reddit stories

[@chocmilkshake24]

Thank God it's Saturday :D

[@brookeschmidt8221]

look forward to it every week!

[@jasmin3255]

I just immediately guessed the rap story was from Finland because you can call your teachers their first name and it's like a chill, mutual relationship between students and teachers and I was imagining something like "Sä et saa paljoo palkkaa." "Mä nussin sun faijaa." which would rhyme 😂

[@Haisevatorakka]

Toi on kyl hyvä

[@Torsteen-p3d]

Yeah I also figured it must be 100% a Helsinki story because only the local Helsinki slang word for dad would rhyme there. And also this kind of cringe stuff wouldn't ever happen elsewhere in Finland

[@jumiii]

SAMEEE I was like this story has to be from finland, cause we're so casual with the teachers and even principals that I just see this happening

[@toastyskyshroom]

I used to do that to mine here in the US more because I’m autistic and I didn’t get the big deal. They got SO upset lol

[@elessal]

Also, if rap and a troublesome child was involved, makes me suspect it was a child of non-european inmigrants

[@Makoto7494]

Courtney is so right about asking about tattoos with dates. I asked a girl about her date tattoo, and she said “Oh I was really close with my dad and my step dad, but they both died. This one is my dad’s death date.” Then she pointed to another tattoo that I hadn’t noticed and said “This one is my stepdad’s death date.”

[@-L.S]

yeah I also have an awkward story about asking about a date tattoo and it being to commemorate someone who had died. I won't be asking again!!

[@sen24718]

Everyone stop it’s story time

[@thelinktothegame6081]

So true

[@isacarral2736]

Did you bring snacks? 💖

[@kimbleryan7150]

​@@isacarral2736I got the popcorn 🍿😊

[@Hurt_mama]

I forgot it was saturday. I saw this dropped everything

[@DaSalvationarmy]

Sorry, I’ll swallow the key and zip my lip

[@allisonpozzo]

I’m so glad Tommy made the “we have gay worms at home; the gay worms we have at home” joke, because it was in my head the second Shayne read the last line 😂. I needed the catharsis of someone else saying it out loud ☺️

[@sloanhanberry2506]

I really wanna see someone recreate this for who memes it

[@jackieeewin7]

​@@sloanhanberry2506yesss it can be Courtney and Tommy's another banger

[@jacobhogan3208]

I would love it if someone at Smosh wrote a fake Reddit post with all they've learned from this show. Making it slowly build as the most insane thing ever and having Shayne read it unaware.

[@greteb1951]

Sounds like something Arusha would have a field day wirh

[@Dakarai_Knight]

​@@greteb1951Arusha! Arasha's even more evil twin.

[@juliferrerboix3127]

Amanda and Angela have that homework, they talked about that on a Smoshcast episode

[@DelightfullyGrace]

⁠@@juliferrerboix3127 it should be classified _Project A_ and headed by Angela, Amanda, and Arasha.

[@Subsistence69]

Geeenniusss

[@MalakianM2S]

The penguin book also shows how animals display gay behaviour, which is a problem when you are trying to sell the narrative that it's "unnatural".

[@allisoncastle]

34:25 “Wait, b-because OP’s eyes were n-not good at first?…” I love Courtney’s utter shock and confusion here 😂

[@ryrythesly4.2.0]

I read this comment at the EXACT same time she said it 😂

[@allisoncastle]

@@ryrythesly4.2.0 hahaha 😛

[@cleverreference1700]

For those curious, the penguins are named Roy and Silo (they are chinstrap penguins) Tango is the name of their daughter (hence the name of the book). Her daughter's mate is named Tanuzi. It's possible there is a documentary out there about them, but all I can find are short videos on youtube. They were together for about six years Other gay penguins include Skipper and Ping, and Harry and Pepper.

[@SuperFlawless2010]

Only humans can be gay, animals cannot. Dont anthropomorphize animals please and thank you.

[@sunset-city]

Thanks for the info! ☺️

[@Daveeeeeeyhowyoudoing]

Yeah, they said in a documentary that gay(non derogatory) penguins only become gay from overpopulation of their current area.

[@pinheadlarry2921]

@@Daveeeeeeyhowyoudoingand under population

[@handlerone5172]

Shayne saying he couldn't wake and bake because he'd be scared of a phone call is 100% relatable to any pothead.

[@PinkGrotesque]

Real potheads wake and bake

[@Lizzy-nd6qp]

@@PinkGrotesqueare you really gatekeeping being a pot head lmaooo

[@hanonondricek411]

​@@PinkGrotesque Agreed, but real potheads know which strains are more conducive to getting stuff done and which will couch-stick them for the entire morning!

[@PinkGrotesque]

@@Lizzy-nd6qp sorry you couldn’t handle my joke

[@Lizzy-nd6qp]

@@PinkGrotesque it’s only a joke if it’s funny

[@SociableAlarm]

I've never seen Shayne look more tired than when he was upset about books being banned. That tracks.

[@ThatWomanClark]

This is something I adore about his nerd ass.

[@SeamstressedOut]

I work in the film industry and a lot of actors are very chill as long as you keep your interaction polite and short. The ones who aren’t chill are the ones you probably wouldn’t see out mingling with “normal people” anyway. And most chill I’ve ever met? Viola Davis. Incredible lady.

[@MaxMayfield14]

Who??

[@draineweYT]

28:07 shayne read "woo gays, gay it up" like an ad for an FPS game

[@Aglet52]

The thought of Shayne being high gives the same vibe of a golden retriever accidentally getting into the pot brownies

[@girlirl]

10000%

[@Val-rd4lb]

I feel like he's an actual good guy. Rare. He should have a wax figure in that wax museum.

[@MissCaraMint]

I chuckled so hard.

[@veronicamerker2631]

I was substituting for a 1st grade class in Texas. We did circle time and said what we did over the weekend. Well I mentioned that I went over to my sisters house and had dinner with her and her WIFE. I got a call from the district asking why the topic of gayness came up and that parents had complained. Suffice to say I was not punished because it was clear I did not go out of my way to talk about being gay. Even so it was a public school and it was ridiculus that I was questioned about it.

[@caseysammich2878]

Texas is one of the weird "Gilead" places for the most part...

[@tarathoughts13]

Yea it’s not that big a deal. Like unless you’re mentioning sexuality and it’s just liek ‘hey some people have moms and moms and dads and dads’ then it’s fine

[@LordVader1094]

@@caseysammich2878 Gilead?

[@caseysammich2878]

@@LordVader1094 It's got a few meanings, but this one refers to a religious holy land restricting freedom in the process of creating a religious dominion.

[@bleh3.2]

I love asking people about their tattoos because you either get something like "yeah, it's of my grandmother's favorite flower, the petals are actually words in her handwriting that we shaped like petals" or "its a goldfish cracker f r o w n i n g...cause of the whole 'snack that smiles back' jingle..."

[@hanonondricek411]

I would assume most people who get visible tattoos get them because they want to discuss what they're about - unless it's an obvious "in memoriam" thing.

[@jacforswear18]

@@hanonondricek411I just get them because I like how they look 😂 I appreciate a fellow tattoo haver saying “nice ink” but when people want to discuss… hard pass

[@NinjaLeafSakura1]

I love those tattoos😂 a friend and I are going to London and gonna get the sound byte of Spotify to have the code for Carry On My Wayward son cause we’re huge Supernatural fans and it’s gonna be a fun but😂

[@jiyu9277]

@@hanonondricek411You get them knowing you’ll get asked about them, but i don’t know anyone with tattoos who got them with the intention of being asked about them

[@Dick_Dastardly4_7]

@@jiyu9277 I only get tattoos that will be covered by long sleeves so I won’t have to explain them to strangers.

[@laurengrosjean]

Every time we learn something about Courtney’s childhood it feels like getting slapped in a face

[@sarahcrawford189]

When my sis was little we switched schools and all these little kids thought she was French bc her accent... she had a lisp/ speech impediment 😂 she fully committed and said she was from Paris. Kids are dumb lol

[@elijennings]

Absolutely OBSESSED with this trio of Tommy, Courtney and Shayne. Always a pleasure seeing the three of them together 🥹 Love the banter they get into!

[@jessicahahn9405]

Tommy and Courtney are such an iconic duo

[@samstarba4569]

As a socially awkward Finnish teacher, I did not expect to find such a relatable Reddit story over here. :D My own mistake: I once accidentally kinda hinted that two male students (young adults) would spend a night together. They were acting super flirty with each other, to the point of disrupting my class, and my first reaction was to say that they could continue whatever they had going on after our evening class and let me continue my lesson. Luckily they just laughed and were generally cool about it. I'm not sure what would have happened to me in USA.

[@lilhedonistcannibal123]

i think it's funny! and it's much better reaction to have than most teachers would. I find Finnish education system to be very flexible and well put together, I have a pre conceived notion that all Finnish teachers/people are actually really cool and open minded

[@AammaK]

To me that sound pretty safe😄 at least the way you’re wording it here and liberally imagining it all in Finnish

[@seansilence2697]

In high school or college, that would probably get a laugh from most people in the US. But, obviously, there's always a risk that it is the wrong person

[@ameliarose47]

In the USA you would 110% be in danger of getting fired and you'd be at the mercy of any of those students told their parents and if their parents had an issue with it.

[@cahan557]

To be fair, If you implied two students were closeted gays to try to embarrass them into being quiet then that would be a problem (I’m sure you can understand why) but I guess it depends on the students and the tone.

[@mzimons]

I've been pavloved to the word "Update" by this series

[@J.v.E.]

For the penguin story: I can't help imagining some very strict Christian parents going off to their little kids like: THAT PINGUIN IS GOING TO HELL! 🤣🤣🤣

[@83gemm]

Keep in mind that a Republican group in Tennessee wanted to ban a kids’ book about seahorses because the male sea horse carries the baby. Not even any “gay agenda” there. Just a literal book about how sea horses work. Plus if it’s a private Baptist school not public, the rules aren’t the same to protect teachers. And let me just give a little advice to anyone preparing to read to little ones: READ THE BOOK FIRST. I found myself reading about farts once to first graders (don’t recall the book) and I’ll never forget reading Weird Al’s kids’ book blind and discovering as I read it aloud that he’d slipped in “master debater.”

[@Suited_Nat]

Honestly, not surprised with that. Despite knowing that seahorses (male ones) can carry kids, I see how certain Republicans make it into an ‘issue’ about the “gay agenda.” Like that’s just me though, I grew up being sheltered from what being gay, lesbian, bi, pan, trans, etc was. Ironically, that’s not what causes you to “become gay.” I felt lesbian since I was 6. And it’s been over a decade now haha. But yeah, it’s very depressing to see, because many queer kids will grow up subconsciously thinking they aren’t wanted. And that’s never a great thing to feel. Speaking of books that have gotten banned, or not shown as much: “Not all boys are blue” by George M. Johnson. A person from my state, (as in the author) who even mentioned the pushback from some schools (mostly administrators) about their book. Long story short, I read that my freshman year of college (so a year ago) and I remembered crying at some parts because it was one of the first books that talked about queer experiences. It’s freeing for me, in how my experiences as a queer person were validated through this person’s own story. And I find that very beautiful. That’s why I believe queer books need to be in schools. Sure, not everyone will read them, but it helps give straight and or cis people more empathy towards queer folks, and it helps to validate a queer kid’s own experience, and to help them figure out their feelings :)

[@rossmckay6164]

I used to teach preschool... and wholeheartedly agree with "read the book first!" It was Pirate Themed month when I read "Tough Boris" to my class the first time... and BAM! halfway through, I'm talking about death and morning. After the book, a whole bunch of the kids were sitting around, talking about pets and family that had died or might die soon, and how they were sad about it. On a positive note, the kids got an age appropriate discussion around death and grief... but I wish I had prepped for it better.

[@SuperFlawless2010]

I believe using nature examples from animals for the message is misguided and erroneous at best. Not only you're seeking confirmation bias within the animals but it also opens up a can of worms, since animals do all kinds of messed up stuff (according to humans) like cannibalism, killing previous mate's litter, killing the partner after mating, etc, etc. Animals are not humans and humans are not animals.

[@QueenMFLaurie]

​@rossmckay6164 as a fellow preschool teacher, I love how you didn't regret reading the book. Instead, you regret not being prepared better.

[@himenyx153]

IT MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL

[@PaniMani635]

That first story gets even funnier for me because Shawn Ashmore HAS AN IDENTICAL TWIN.

[@cowboyjohnny6068]

I thought the same thing. I’m surprised no one said anything!

[@amandabaker4678]

I thought of that as well - at least it was probably a nice change for him!

[@retrofan93]

I just realized that I have not seen the two of them enough to tell them apart. Also, was Aaron the one who played Jimmy Olsen in Smallville?

[@Jerga27]

@retrofan93 yes Aaron was Jimmy. Before I found out they were twins, I thought Shawn was just really raking in the early 2000s super hero roles

[@cam.n.b]

That is exactly what I was thinking too! I have to imagine being an identical twin to a celebrity as being strange, like Rami Malek and his brother or the Sprouse twins.

[@Lilminnow21]

Honestly as someone who's met Neil Patrick Harris, he's super chill. I work in Disney and man just shows up and lives his best life and is a genuinely nice person, there's so many celebrities that are super down to earth and some that are garbage

[@ElectricFury]

Yeah NPH has always stuck me as a super fun guy irl and on screen. He seems to only take roles that are fun and he enjoys which is a sign of an actor doing it for the right reasons.

[@hanonondricek411]

I think it is a phenomenon that some celebrities really do not style or behave IRL like their public persona - especially if they have played roles that aren't always "them" so there is potential to recognize they're _someone_ you've seen but come up with the wrong name. NPH, Shawn Ashmore and Sean Evans could all play brothers - they don't look exactly alike but it's squinty-eye shape and bone structure that makes them resemble each other. I didn't know until I checked that Ashmore also has a twin brother.

[@myy1008]

uh-huh

[@HoodieNinja777]

I’m a teacher and something super similar happened to me as the gay penguins story! I’m trying to teach problem and solution text structure and went with Patricia Polacco’s “Christmas Tapestry.” I didn’t expect the holocaust, and had to explain it to my kids. Luckily they were all very mature about it

[@lina9535]

I saw one of the Skarsgård brothers at the grocery store once, and since I love that entire family, I wanted to say "hi, love your work", but I didn't want to bother him, but I kept glancing over at him. I guess I wasn't subtle about it, but I got a wave and a smile, so I'm happy (had to keep from going full fangirl in the store, or I'd never want to show my face there again). I did for a moment think that I saw House MD once, not Hugh Laurie the actor that plays House, but Dr House, cane and all. I was so confused at the time xD

[@ancemedi]

33:02 as a religious person, if someone looked at a tattoo like that and whispered to me "do you think he's gonna make it?", i would burst out laughing. so even if he didnt notice it was jesus at first, that would still one of the best things i wouldve ever heard in my ENTIRE life

[@LordVader1094]

Yeah the friend should've just replied "Yes" and waited for OP to realize their mistake lol

[@animeisawesome11]

I agree!

[@Bingo-Bungo]

During middle school my friend started telling people i was Australian. I had no such accent, grew up and still live in the south, and I've never traveled outside the US. But for some reason people just believed it. At first it was annoying having ever other person asking if i was really Australian but then i just started saying yes and it was pretty hilarious putting in zero effort into a lie and still having people fall for it lol

[@18Hongo]

When I was in high school I was sick for four days and some wanker in my class started telling everyone I had gone to a different school. Everyone believed him. TEACHERS believed him. Not as crazy as telling everyone I'm from the other side of the world, I'll grant you, but still pretty odd.

[@crm7n]

when i was a kid i moved to a new province and in with a foster family. i always adapted well as a kid with every new school so i instantly clicked with the main friend group of kids, and for some reason they though i came from the uk. i was from ontario, literally one province over, so i had no idea why they thought that. it makes it funnier knowing one of the girls was ACTUALLY from the uk, though i don't remember if she had an accent or not

[@dandannoodles34]

My family is from a small rural town in Canada that most people never heard of. When my sister moved, she had the brilliant idea of putting on a British accent and telling everyone at a bar that our town was in England. Everyone bought it and she was the queen of the night. But later someone came up to her and said "I'm also from that town". She didn't say another word and just walked out of bar.

[@perpetualsick]

accidentally lied about being Canadian once in 7th grade when i messed up a 2 truths 1 lie game that we did as a first day ice breaker. mortifying. i knew most of those people for my entire childhood too and it never came up again but the teacher really emphasized how cool it was and i couldn't take it back after that.

[@wiggletonthewise2141]

The gay worms and penguins feel is a spiritual successor to the gay rat wedding thing from a while back lol

[@zeeoh5466]

that's the thing with the arthur show, right? or is there some other gay rat wedding i don't know about?

[@wiggletonthewise2141]

@@zeeoh5466 I believe so, but it came up in a Reddit story once

[@MomoBoba]

Shane's "I didn't cry, people are sayinnng that I tripped" got me 🤣🤣🤣

[@LordVader1094]

I wish he'd done more of that voice lol

[@terrimoran4428]

19:00 that boss that repeatedly got shot in the head in paintball was just a video game character that was left afk.

[@zachcurrin9442]

Tommy and Courtney have the best energy together

[@Missielou66]

They have sibling energy and I love it

[@mollusckscramp4124]

Last TIFU: *the best set-up and resolution ever for a 90s romcom* Also the last TIFU: "Nothing romantic ever happened between us, we're both actually married..." My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

[@tiff0795]

Can I just say Shayne's impression of "I didn't cry." was AMAZING

[@kandykornpumpkins]

I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS COMMENT

[@ThatWomanClark]

I have a good friend who is actually British, but for the last semester of college together he convinced me he had been lying and my best friend had been in on it. I’ve never felt so gullible.

[@AlyxDG]

“And Tango Makes Three” was one of my favourite books as a kid! I got so excited when they started talking about gay penguins cause I knew it was coming

[@Genbodina]

Amanda and Damien should come on and you can do Reddit DnD horror stories, as in games that have gone poorly or players or DM were bad faith players. Also I love these so much and they’re what I look forward to every Saturday ❤

[@juliebean1910]

+

[@clartblart3266]

Yeah, I would love to see this!

[@rashindus]

This, but instead of Amanda, let's invite Aabria Iyengar back. She was in a Games video a few years ago and we need to hook up Damien with D&D contacts.

[@OliverStarfall]

Even better yet they could have Brennan on as a first time guest

[@CMJDT]

I don't think they'll put Amanda and Damien together...but he and someone else should be on again. Damien is my favorite.

[@sir-dame-sander]

I’m so in awe of “british” girl’s commitment to the bit. I’ve done the same thing a few times (all of which are long, complicated stories) but it’s never gone on longer than a couple days. I’m an actor (stage) so if I have a role with an accent that I know I’ll have to improvise in, I’ll use it to speak in places I know won’t remember me (coffee shops, restaurants, etc. for like an hour At Most) and in casual conversation with friends who are familiar with my job. I’ve even taken bits of pronunciation from roles on accident that are just part of my regular voice now. that being said, I can’t even begin to fathom keeping up a fake accent for TWELVE YEARS. like if I’d locked myself into using the german accent I used for cabaret my whole life I think I would’ve been driven to fake my death

[@sir-dame-sander]

concocting a sort of nightmare situation right now where I fall madly in love with the barista I ordered from in character the other day. what if we get married and my american family is all there and she still thinks that I’m chris bean, director

[@wordzmyth]

😂

[@delightfulstrawberry1074]

For the paintball story - I do agree that the boss should’ve call it quits after being shot the first time, but also, the rest of the hits felt a little malicious

[@MarcelVos]

Yeah, it's not like the boss was still actively playing, he was just sitting there doing nothing.

[@baydiac]

@@MarcelVosThe gist is that the boss intended to cheat by pretending he'd never been hit. Lord knows how his lies got anywhere considering his head would be dripping in paint, but whatever...

[@MarcelVos]

@@baydiac Who says he was intending to do that? It's possible, but when he's not responding who knows what is going on. The fact that he lied about it later at work can also mean that he had some physical issue he doesn't want to disclose.

[@Acdxls]

@@MarcelVosoh hi marcel, fancy seeing you here

[@iliketoflips]

When someone cheats at a game it's usually because they're trying to win. Paintball dude and boss/cheater were effectively pinning each other down. Paintball dude probably reasonably believed that cheater would shoot him if he left cover to support his team elsewhere in the field.

[@Sarahkara1313]

“The principal wasn’t surprised he tried to blackmail me” was my favorite line of everything

[@IndomitableRoxie]

16:22 stingy pain can be really traumatizing for people either bc the shock is scary & it could remind them of being hit as a kid with belts :/ this is a prime example of freeze response

[@sarar7363]

Another thing to add onto the gay penguins, I did a placement working as a TA with school aged kids and they were learning about different culture celebrations and family dynamics. I brought up how I'm adopted and they were very interested in what it was because they had never met someone who was adopted. They easily understood the concept after I explained it to them, it would be the same for the other dynamics that they were being taught about. Children are so much smarter than what we give them credit for IMO.

[@viv8871]

I had a French teacher in high school who would go on tangents a lot. Whenever we wanted to just chill for a class, or when someone got a warning there would be a quiz, we would ask her about French food, and she would go on and on for the majority of the class. At a certain point, she would realize how long she spent talking, and decide to just give us credit for whatever quiz we were supposed to take, and just did "popcorn" and ask us questions in French. It was amazing.

[@hanonondricek411]

As the theater nerd of my high school, my entire senior class agreed it was my duty to keep our stuffy English teacher talking about Shakespeare and Golden Age musicals and Broadway as much as possible, and I was pretty good at delaying the start of his lesson plan at least 15-20 minutes on most days I tried. It was like my super-power that first made me a pariah and then an indispensable member of society once they understood my unique abilities...

[@abby78810]

Shayne being -500% a stoner actually kills me 😂

[@shanaejaye7688]

Since it's the holidays, we def need to hear some insane Christmas and New Years storiess!!! Please and thank you. Love you guys 😂❤

[@Askedleopard]

My experience with paintballing, especially in places where you have to pay, there are rules against headshots. They can't be prevented of course, but you weren't supposed to aim for the head or face, gear or not. I saw enough accidents with the required safety precautions that I stopped going. Plus, the players were cruel and would turn up the pressure on their guns to make it hurt more to gain an advantage.

[@grantcasperson3872]

The religious trauma I have from growing up Baptist and Lutheran have lasting impacts on me as a person who doesn’t want to lose their faith but isn’t going to deny who they are. This has lasting impacts on my life, mental health, and guilt/shame complex. If I got this penguin story when I was little I would have felt like it was a sign that God was validating my feelings. I remember that innocent curiosity before the institution instilled its prejudice.

[@katie18976]

😞

[@Kaipyro67ALT]

It's so funny to me because before books about different genders and sexualities were being banned (Gender Queer, Handmaid's Tale, Looking for Alaska, etc.), it was books like Slaughterhouse Five, Catcher in the Rye, To Kill a Mockingbird, Fahrenheit 451, and 1984. Christian schools always try to ban books about things that go against what they're trying to indoctrinate. Books about gender, social structure, dystopia, sexuality, and individuality will always be under threat in private Christian schools.

[@LordVader1094]

Still, I respect you for holding onto your faith. I hope what's been done to you doesn't result in you losing it completely.

[@CMonty]

The tattoo story reminds me of a time when I accidentally alienated one of my managers, cause they wished me a "Happy Good Friday," and I responded with "Wasn't that good for Jesus." In my defense, who wishes someone a "Happy Good Friday"?

[@marybethmiller4461]

As a born again Christian, I have NEVER heard anyone wish anyone Happy Good Friday, or any sort of Good Friday, for that matter.

[@CMonty]

@@marybethmiller4461 yeah, my reflexive "funny" response might not have been great, but that whole wishing me a "Happy Good Friday" was super weird. Similar to you, I was raised Catholic before falling into agnosticism, but in all my years going to church, never once was "Happy Good Friday" issued as a greeting or salutation.

[@lesbianslipknotfan]

that’s legendary as someone who grew up episcopalian (so like super chill) and is now pagan, i find your reply absolutely hilarious. i probably would’ve laughed. tough crowd huh 💔

[@MinaStone-wv5uy]

Happy Palm Sunday or my family yell “ he has risen!” “he has risen indeed!” At eachother but not Friday “happy torcher day!”

[@FLIGHTL355]

For the paintball one, it goes to show his dishonesty even in a friendly competition. The places I used to go paintballing if someone got shot in the head it wouldn't count and they'd stop to check on the person hit to make sure they was ok. Then Penguin story is based off real penguins, Roy and Silo at the New York City Zoo. They ended up being given an egg which hatched and named Tango who later on had a girlfriend named Tanuzi.

[@elizabethanne4400]

Yeah the paintball story sounds like clickbait for sure…if it’s not the shooter is fucking mental

[@Purrkay]

I really think the boss was injured with the headshot and that's why he couldn't respond. If he was intentionally trying to cheat, why wouldn't he run away and pretend nothing happened? Instead, he stood in place, which makes me believe the first hit put him into a catatonic state and he was unable to respond. That is ultimately his fault for not wearing a helmet, but after landing the first hit and seeing that he didn't respond much (a slight turn of the head could be an involuntary reaction), I would've checked on him to make sure he was okay. Headshots are no joke.

[@ComedyGlor]

fr it seems pretty obviously like an injury related response and the fact that no one really considered that is weird. I was generally surprised by their blase reaction to that story cos my initial reaction is that that's truly an psychotic and sadistic thing to do @@Purrkay

[@LordVader1094]

@@ComedyGlor Not everything is psychotic or sadistic just because someone doesn't understand what's going on. You're making assumptions too, the boss may have just been stupid and was trying to cheat, or was just too stubborn to call it out.

[@Cab1726]

It’s stories like NPH/Shawn Ashmore that make me increasingly convinced that there is as much variety in people’s ability to recognize and recall faces as there is in people’s abilities to spell or work with numbers or hear or see or process audio or whatever. Because I zero percent relate to the idea of thinking one celebrity is a different celebrity, but I feel like I hear a story about it like every day.

[@ettinakitten5047]

Yes, there absolutely is. In my case, I'm at the extreme where I'm so bad at faces it's considered a disability (prosopagnosia).

[@misschanandelerbong7946]

​@@ettinakitten5047same! I actually have clusters of actors who merge in my brain into one. I cannot tell them apart.

[@emma_adaleigh]

Shane looking SO offended at the British accent story was cracking me up😂 that’s where he draws the line!

[@kateellis8078]

Courtney’s story about the Spanish teacher made me laugh bc I had a similar thing with a French teacher in elementary school (grade 5, Canada). She loved talking about the differences in how the language evolved in Europe vs Canada so if someone asked something like “why does our vocab list have two words for scarf” we could have her distracted for the whole period

[@stephr2980]

I teach French and German and the kids all think they're derailing us without us knowing 😂. Truth is, we all know what you're doing with your vaguely related questions on topics we think are cool or important. We decide to indulge because teaching shouldn't be only about what's in the curriculum or on the exam board's lists. You never know what nugget of information will catch a student's interest or shift their thinking so we go off! Also sometimes I reckon we need the distraction ourselves 😅

[@ettinakitten5047]

My psych 101 prof at university was a licensed psychoanalyst and obsessed with Freud, and we knew that whenever the class was getting boring, all we had to do was ask him a psychoanalysis question and he'd get totally sidetracked. He was also the only professor we knew who taught class wearing formal professorial robes. Very fun, quirky instructor.

[@laurenwockasen]

I love rewatching these at night when i’m going to sleep as like bedtime stories. Never stop. I love adult story time w smosh

[@tylee101xx]

I was wrapping Christmas presents while watching this so the "Hey, finish that wrapping!" part felt very personal 😂

[@TotoDG]

I went paintballing once, and even only being tangentially grazed against my head once, it was still one of the most painful moments I've experienced in my life up to this point; so while Dave was being a poor sport for not calling his hit, he is a trooper for tanking so many direct hits to his head.

[@aiwissal478]

the funny part is Shayne constantly touching his moustache, and realising he shaved it so he play it cool 😂

[@spencedbuddy6343]

This is literally perfect timing. I have a bunch of scans I have to get at the hospital today and one takes really long time and the techs said I can pick whatever gets played in the room during lol guess we all listening to Smosh hope nothing is embarrassing cause I ain't got time to review it.

[@robo7643]

I hope the techs enjoy today's storytime 😂

[@foxyjambread3826]

Good luck on your scans!

[@kiingsomniia]

they better enjoy lol hope everything goes well :)

[@spencedbuddy6343]

They did lol they kept giggling. And we had a great conversation about banned books because of the penguin story.

[@Moochael77789]

I remember in Middle school choir we had a permanent substitute teacher and one of my classmates was masking fun of him and they said something along the lines of "why'd you shave your beard? Was it not feminine?" And the teacher dead faced and with direct eye contact said "I shaved it off because your mom said it was too ticklish" 💀

[@sydneymitrecic]

Ahhh!!!! Oh my god

[@grankmisguided]

To be fair, Shawn Ashmore has an identical twin brother Aaron, who is in a bunch of major Canadian-produced sci-fi/fantasy television shows, so even when you're certain it's Shawn Ashmore, it might be Aaron Ashmore 🤣

[@miledith555]

Being a non native english speaker basically gives you a pass for your accent to be whatever you want. Mine for example is a total amalgamation of different accents and changes depending on who I speak to. It gets less natural if I’m talking to a person who also isn’t a native, but if I’m talking to someone who is a native speaker, I will automatically mimic theirs a bit (of course not perfectly). So if I randomly started speaking in an English accent, it wouldn’t really be that weird. On the other hand, I can’t randomly do an impression of an accent, it just doesn’t work for me for some reason.

[@janitasaarikko4657]

As a Finnish teacher myself the first story was so funny 😂

[@JosefinaQB]

so excited for saturday december 23rd to be a christmas themed reddit story episode

[@fmalovegirl98]

As a Finn, wasn't expecting to hear a story from my country lmao. Middle school can be brutal, this teacher seems to be cool ngl, even tho especially middle schoolers can be really sensitive about anything really. Props to the teacher tho, he made a "wrong" thing but good that it got sorted out.

[@samstarba4569]

@@NateSatuur Toivon mukaan opettaja ei rimmannut sanoja "massii" ja "nussii" keskenään. :D

[@fmalovegirl98]

Kun googletti ton tarinan ni se reddit viestiketju löyty (poistettu mut kommentit näkyy) ja siel oli suomeks mitä oli sanottu ni ei tainnu olla just nuo ilmaukset siel :"D@@samstarba4569

[@ratty_3603]

@@samstarba4569ei ku se oli ”saat huonoo palkkaa” ja ”okei mut mä meen bängää sun faijaa” :D

[@samstarba4569]

@@ratty_3603 No joo, hiukan siistimpi versio siis.

[@ratty_3603]

@@samstarba4569kieltämättä ”et tee yhtään massii” ja ”haha meen sun isääs nussii” ois vähän rankempi

[@HerSandiness]

Since I live in Europe, these reddit stories don't come until evening, my time. It's always the last thing I wait for every Saturday. Right now I'm in bed with Covid, so the distraction is even more welcome than usual. I shouldn't laugh right now. It sends me into coughing fits. 😂😂😂😂 My very own TNTL. 🎉

[@robo7643]

Hope you feel better soon!

[@JamesJones-ts5fl]

Got Covid too, hope we both get better soon!

[@HerSandiness]

​@@JamesJones-ts5flYeah, get well soon!

[@dreamvortex8961]

Wait!!! Covid?? It's still going on?

[@HerSandiness]

​@@dreamvortex8961I know, right?!?! Came outta no where! 😂

[@joshhouse5920]

At 23:03 when ever op walks by the boss while hes talking to someone he should fainlty whisper "call your hit" just to fuck with him

[@sadiestewart624]

30:43 I was a librarian at a religions university for a while. This book was in our “restricted section” because it was mutilated/destroyed so often.

[@amandab6566]

For the paintball one- I’m wondering if the boss started crying immediately after being hit & was too embarrassed to call it because his voice would give away he was crying. So he just stood there waiting for it to stop so he could compose himself but it never did.. But I’m not a guy so you’ll have to let me know if I’m way off base with that guess. He only had to say 2 words 🤷‍♀️

[@ettinakitten5047]

Why didn't he lie down, though?

[@toastyskyshroom]

I mean but why didn’t he move? We’ll never know

[@LordVader1094]

Why not move your head so it's not getting shot?

[@rosellaaltman3417]

I'm wondering if he was dazed for a moment. I'm sure Sudden pain on the top of your head can be disorienting.

[@Zamtrios245]

​@@ettinakitten5047 Probably the pain, it just stunned him

[@thatoneinsidejoke]

Would love to see some r/maliciouscompliance stories on here if there are any that are long enough, they’re always hilarious

[@swimfast724]

There's a video that's almost all malicious compliance. I think it's the "revenge" one

[@northynorth]

Unus?

[@thatoneinsidejoke]

@@northynorth Memento Mori, my friend.

[@northynorth]

@@thatoneinsidejoke salutations, cult sibling. May your brita filter always be clean

[@christinatkg]

Kiana's gift to Shayne and him showing all the pictures in the paid ad was incredible! The one on the toilet absolutely sent me 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@JenniSeven7]

Courtney calling the paintball incident "the most impactful" was a beautiful pun that went by completely unnoticed.

[@edelleaa]

my theory for the first story is that the boss was just being stubborn because he was told he should put a helmet on but didn't want to (just like how kids don't want to wear helmets for protection because it looks stupid or whatever) so when he got shot in the head it got to him in more ways than one lol his ego was obviously bruised more than his head

[@madeleinekhouri1655]

So excited for Tommy and Courtney, such a great duo!!

[@Lily-qu8ls]

The bang your dad teacher is giving “if you throw that paper your moms a hoe” vibes 😂 5:38

[@exoticwaffle8012]

As a Finn, I literally had to stop the video for 5 minutes to think how the rap could've gone (in Finnish) and I still haven't figured it out... This will be keeping me up at night for sure

[@xXxIMNOTANGELxXx]

The third story about the line manager being shot in the head multiples times, no calling shot, not moving.. sounds like an episode straight ouf The Office.

[@milkteamarwa]

any story from courtney's childhood makes me rethink my perspective on american movies being not based on reality. turns out these movies are more tame than i thought

[@aurawra_xd]

I can't be the only Finnish person here who is trying to figure out how "you don't make money with your bad work cheque" and "okay but I'll go and bang your dad" rhyme in Finnish lmaoo. Cause "work cheque" can be translated to "palkka" or "työ shekki" (no kid would ever use the word shekki) and "bang your dad" can be translated to "panen sun isää/isii/faijaa". Also to add, if anyone read this far, in most Finnish schools you wouldn't get in trouble for that.

[@laurainthesky8372]

I went to the comments cause this bothered me too, apparently it went something like this: sä et rahaa stäkkää ku saat huonoo palkkaa - okei mut mä meen ja bängään sun faijaa When Shayne had told the story and hadn't yet said it's from Finland I went 'huh, I bet this is Finnish', just from the fact that the principal might be chill enough to not care about the slip up 😅

[@AammaK]

Trying my best not to reply to every single Finn in the comments for my own good. Anywhay at the beginning of that one I just went ”that would probably sound silly as fck in Finnish” and somewhat shouted out of pure mitä helvettiä when it was, in fact, in finnish

[@aurawra_xd]

@@AammaK that is what I thought too when I heard it's not in English lmao.

[@essih898]

​@@AammaK same I just felt the finnish energy

[@Shalunium]

I first thought that work cheque would be palkkakuitti but I'm pretty sure no young person would be using that word. Somewhere in the comments was palkka/faijaa, rahaa/faijaa, massii/nussii (hopefully not this one XD). I though of palkka/faija or maikka, except maikka is probably not used these days.

[@boomgirlbucko]

Yeah, preschool kids can definitely handle hearing about gay stuff. My friend's sister, we'll call her May, is bisexual and has a girlfriend, and I'll call my friend June. June and May have another sister, April, who has a 4 year old daughter, December (that's the month she was born lol). So when April was visiting June and May, May invited her girlfriend over and introduced her to December as just her "friend". June, who is also bisexual, didn't like that and just told her to be honest because she knew that April was a straight ally. So June told their niece December "Actually, that's May's GIRLFRIEND, they're a couple" and my friend said that December had a cute response that was like "Giirrlfriend?" and so yeah. From then on, when May and her girlfriend would babysit December, December would say "you two are gonna be in love FOREVER" and it's the cutest thing.

[@18Hongo]

Why aren't any of your other friends in this story? Why aren't we hearing about July and November's reaction to this? Was September supportive? Did February and August bring their kid March over to meet the wholesome girlfriends? And why was January left out?

[@malubecker8508]

Yeah, kids are usually super sweet or don't care. Once I was looking after my lil cousins (with my partner) and they had a friend over - about 8yo, and from a religious family - I was a bit cautious, but he asked about us after a while, and I wouldn't lie. He then told us that he was going to be a pastor and could marry us when he was older lol

[@loveanddreambig]

For real, kids that young don’t think about it very deeply. I knew a guy who was worried about explaining his boyfriend to his 4-year-old cousin, but when he did the kid was like “Oh, ok. Wanna play Nintendo, now?” 😆👍🏻

[@crm7n]

my youngest brother and sister are really close. my sister's 9 and my brother's 12, and he happens to be gay. my family's all known for a while despite him only coming out recently, but they initially kept it a secret from my sister because she wasn't as aware and understanding just because she isn't at that age yet. i get their point but it really didn't matter since she's always known, she just never knew why we didn't talk about it

[@djpanic7294]

To the Jesus tattoo: one time I saw a bumper sticker and thought "those are cute dinosaurs!" They weren't. It was the nativity scene. My husband has yet to let me live it down.

[@skatardrummer1]

I got shot in the back of the neck at not to far of range once with a paintball. I couldn't respond at first because I blacked out while still standing for a hot second. It's crazy how hard those can hit sometimes

[@popcatcarl6662]

Tommy and Courtney’s recounting of their weird highschool teachers reminded me of my 8th grade history teacher, who was obsessed with the JFK assassination. He showed us the video, and kids would try and stump him on facts about the event. One kid asked what underwear JFK was in when he died (tighty whities). The same teacher also accidentally ate a mold cake once

[@wigglydragon7447]

MOLD cake????

[@popcatcarl6662]

@@wigglydragon7447 yea he ate the middle out of a cake his friends got for his wedding (it was from like, Family Faire or smth) at like 3AM because he had the munchies, and the next morning his wife pulled it out of the fridge and the entire area he had eaten had grown back with mold. We theorized he’d turn into spider-man but with mold instead of webs.

[@LiAkahi]

I met NPH after he did a mic check at Epcot for the Candlelight Processional and he was genuine one of the nicest human beings I’ve ever met. We talked about Disney parks and it was delightful

[@RobMost]

Honestly, I live for Reddit Stories, love this series. Going through a rough time right now, and these are one of the few things that give me joy.

[@RJam56]

Stelan Skarsgard is a relative of mine and I went to Ohio to see him and his younger children and wife (my aunt) a year ago. I had met him before, but it was a long time ago. He is genuinely one of the most happy go lucky people ever. Such a great presence to be around.

[@darbyz1368]

This episode was extra funny. I love how all of you play off of each others jokes! Just gold

[@rowenjohnson]

Meeting Neil Patrick Harris at a trampoline park is such a funny scenario to imagine