So Your Cat Wants A Massage?

[@mauriiispacehead]

No one sent me here I googled this willingly

[@mauriiispacehead]

Spike Johnson guess that happens when you 7 cats :)

[@mauriiispacehead]

+Spike Johnson I guess. I love cats lol

[@mysteryfiles1673]

Me too

[@DDG2023]

You lunatic!

[@notbbmeow]

Same

[@ethanwright9523]

As weird as this lady is, I gotta give her props: that cat looks like it's in absolute ecstasy

[@brendanrouth3807]

She probably drugged it. My cat freaks out if I just hold her for one second.

[@kkurova9345]

+Ethan Wright you are very bad at reading cats im afraid

[@alexandermccullough420]

most limber kitty ever bruh.

[@angelbankai45]

Brendan Routh Some cats like to be held, some don't.

[@MegaMaxiepad]

I know. This lady is good intentioned, but the video is too damn goofy. And there''s a part near the end when the kitty basically gets startled by her "rear" approach. I did learn a few things though, and my girls love me for it.

[@RetroCynical]

This is no doubt the greatest video ever produced. It's also incredibly helpful. My cat and I are getting married next week.

[@veeri92]

It's the futures that liberals want!

[@DeeObl0]

“A cat’s tale is a badge of honor” so hold on tight

[@EH_888]

😂😂😂

[@joedavis4150]

Oh god I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe

[@quaddrix07]

Thanks for that laugh! 3 years later! LMAO

[@BrianTylerComposer]

That is amazing that Simon and Garfunkle wrote a song about cat massage.

[@robertbaur3145]

+Brian Tyler kicking up the cobble stones looking for fun and feeling cat massage

[@SusPitch]

It's literally 4:20 am and I am laughing so freaking hard at this help this comment is golden

[@Popebug]

Favorite part: "That says a lot about life, and about cat massage."

[@atheistine]

"this one's especially good...for macho cats" lolll

[@Popebug]

Christine Petrossian This woman is crazy. And I don't mean "heh, she's pretty crazy", I mean she's absolutely insane.

[@dtjackson1647]

This video is full of gold: "Petting is just randomly petting." "Use two hands to double your pleasure and double your fun!" "Relax you have the best teacher available... your cat!" "Caution, if your kitty doesn't like her fur disturbed, she might just tell you to shuffle out the door." "Caution, either they like this or they don't." "A whisker water alert is in effect here. A major whisker watch is in effect here." "Is your cat a talker? If so, cat massage will bring out his best 'mega meow' moments. We call it... Power Purring!" "The front of your cat is a veritable treasure chest of fun." "You don't need a swimming pool for this breast stroking!" "This is especially good for 'macho cats.'" "This is a really groovy move... Bell-y-rama!" (Singing) "Who's the best cat in the U-nit-ed States? It's you, Champer Damper, it's you..." The best part is that she seems to be taking everything she's saying seriously.

[@helenfm]

And don't forget - "You can't fool drool!"

[@sunnydale22]

Exactly my reaction! xD

[@jarblewarble]

The cat seems to enjoy it, though. :)

[@AmazingMojo2567]

sunnydale22 exactly my erection! xD

[@christinebosco7112]

i'm a big fan of "petting is just randomly petting"

[@victoriah8135]

This seems like something that would be on Adult Swim at like 4am lol.

[@rachelbauer1729]

Ikr x'D

[@GinaMarz]

+Victoria H YES! That's exactly what I was thinking.

[@saltycupcakes]

Victoria H CDT crew did something like that, got that too much drugs feel like adult swim

[@MirandroidJones]

Yeah, like on Tim & Eric Awesome Show.

[@Lung__]

Everythingisterrible, the site that found this and uploaded it originally, did work with adult swim before...

[@juliebillingsley2612]

"It's you Champer-damper, it's you."

[@amykope5094]

Now I accidentally call my cat Shadow Badow thanks to this😒

[@aesop8842]

*B O R I N G*

[@densmorde4520]

I almost forgot where I got "Champerdamer" from.

[@brooks9378]

I just randomly woke up one day and started saying this.

[@lambda494]

I think this "woman" is actually about 8 cats taped together with a mask.

[@caseycat]

This comment killed me

[@marshmallowbudgie]

*hissssssssss*

[@maddy7230]

Ganymede, Jupiter III LOMAODKBDKD

[@missmoanypants]

I believe it. Our feline overlords want to make sure we are better servants.

[@eddiereece5050]

VOLTRON!!

[@Ilovemahmochi]

I relate to this woman so much more strongly than I should. She is me. I am her.

[@kittendivine1]

Me too. Nothing wrong with that :D

[@beepthemeep12]

Same

[@ready4sumfootball]

Me too and I’m a guy

[@Auzzie015]

"If you're left handed use your left hand, if you're right handed, use your right hand. Or if you're right handed, try using your left hand and vice versa". What was the fucking point?

[@jarblewarble]

It's about learning to be ambidextrous, I suppose.

[@dennishill4358]

You won't be able to double your pleasure and double your fun if you don't practice with your non-dominant hand

[@greatbudda]

Dennis Hill This guy gets it plus maybe one day you could even massage two cats at once!

[@lohanthony]

how did i get here

[@ok-hk8sc]

+lohanthony oh hey whats up

[@cesarmedina2585]

Omg anthony youre my spirit animal😂😂

[@bluetennant1998]

+liv The roof. LOL

[@wasteland8544]

Lol, the cat at the end "kill me now".

[@ernaexantus781]

jean rene charles

[@Lonelycoast]

"you can't fool drool" "MMMMMMMM"

[@cheesecake134]

You think it's ridiculous, but that cat looks relaxed as fuck.

[@m00sechuckle15]

Especially when it's a stuffed tiger.

[@cheesecake134]

Brian Eels Ever been so relaxed you turn into a stuffed tiger?

[@atlaslife3800]

I think it is half dead 😢

[@dakkenly]

0:35 did that tiger just fucking wink at me

[@andyk939]

+dakkenly Definitely

[@KaeraNeko]

+dakkenly Woah.

[@Mudkip971]

Well she did say "Double your pleasure and double your fun".

[@vorpalweapon4814]

OMG!

[@aryonnachampion9474]

I think it did O.o

[@trevejackson-hicks5250]

IT'S YOU Champer Damper. IT'S YOU.

[@kanthonyofficial]

"use two hands to double your pleasure and double your fun" .....I thought I was petting a cat

[@captaing.mainwaring5252]

+Karl Cox (SwagCorp Prod) She forgets to swallow, then she starts to drool. MMMMMMMMMM

[@blindseeing]

Different kind of cat 😏😏

[@jcast1749]

But petting is just randomly petting.

[@chaseessary1204]

i feel like i might be the only person that was actually looking up videos on 'how to massage my cat'. i'm not crazy, he just gets stressed out sometimes.

[@madouzo1423]

You're not the only one! :D

[@drewandrewnowski6650]

Chase Essary the instructions were too vague, my cat is dead.

[@Gooieduck1224]

Chase Essary maybe youre ruffling his fur inappropriately. you might need to just shuffle out the door

[@fassaf92]

+Chase Essary me too, except i don't have a cat ?

[@Oscar-gh8zc]

+Bethany Meyer deaaaddd 😂

[@TerriblesHorse]

I just laughed for 12 minutes straight. Thanks champer damper!

[@BuckScrotumn]

I don’t care what anyone says this woman is extremely likable and funny. She’s subtle and self aware and it’s definitely a ‘laughing with her rather than at her’ kind of situation. Truly a one-liner gold mine.

[@jennicase]

oops I used lotions and oils on my cat

[@GuitarguyRichard56]

Metoo!!

[@blindseeing]

Oh God I did that when I was 6 and never lived it down

[@utarian7]

The divorce hit her pretty hard.

[@user-we3pn1ok8q]

you just killed me💀💀💀

[@aubreejohnson4048]

I cried reading this comment

[@cjpitch]

+utarian7 Please don't ever delete this comment. The world needs you. lol

[@seinfeld11123]

+utarian7 LOL. tip of the hat sir.

[@lil7876]

omg 😂

[@austiiee1953]

You know back in the day this video made me riot with laughter. Years later I get a cat for the first time and immediately think "what would cat massage lady do" 😩😂😂 my cat DOES love an excruciatingly slow pet. Thanks random lady

[@dullroar2673]

Seeing how old this video is, that cat probably passed a while ago. I think it's really sweet she made an inadvertent tribute to her little buddy. Hope you're mega meowing with the best of em, Champer Damper

[@saraetc5049]

RIP Best cat in the United States.

[@daphnemurp666]

The whisker massage is totally working for my cat. Plus a light stroke on the top of the head. This woman rocks.

[@LittlestWinslow]

This video makes me happy to be alive.

[@jarblewarble]

This video makes me want to be a cat. :)

[@marsyujin]

I dont remember how this ever ended up in my favorites folder but watching this is so therapeutical. 3 years strong

[@elvenmagejr1905]

Her husband said, "It's either me or the cat." She picked the cat.

[@anonymoushaxorz1516]

All jokes aside, every cat I’ve done this too loves it. My cat loves it and my friends cats love it. I think she put a lot of time and effort into this...

[@julesparkin6789]

Best comedy moment EVER. My sides are split from laughing. Thank you , laughter therapy is all you need in life.

[@Traincatdino]

WISKER WATCH ALERT WEEE OOOO WEEE OOOO

[@SilveniumTheDrifter]

Put your siren on, Patrick, and I'll be right there.

[@Bandsruinlives]

Stoooooop 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@moonrunnerredline327]

this is how you get rid of unwanted guests

[@chewface]

Oh shit, guys! We got a major whisker watch alert in effect!!!

[@jean-lucpicard5510]

Are they as bad as Al Qaeda?

[@virg0_lem0nade]

it's you, champer damper. it's you.

[@Duncanmn]

@2:34 I love how the cat lifts his head, like, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

[@kct16]

I thought the exact same thing! XD

[@youngpilgrim5]

"did she just touch my rump?"

[@FloraWest]

There's so much to love here--the "drooler/jewler" pun is maybe the best/worst? Oh, I don't know-almost every sentence is a gem.

[@lgmhooks]

WOW! after seeing her in person at the Los Angeles cat fest "through the eyes of a FELINE" ...i see why most of the 200+ audience knew this video by heart. after I got thru screaming with laughter (cause she has SUCH a great sense of humor about herself and about this early video) IHAD TO return to youtube cause she DID confirm stuff I'd seen by trial and error ...and mentioned some new stuff. (my "cat" Jazzmyn gives it 3 paws up. She wolda gone 4...but she needed to balance on SOMEthing!)

[@angelagraves1020]

This is goofy as heck, but I gotta say, that is one seriously happy cat.

[@TatersBD]

so much innuendo...sooo little time

[@robertbaur3145]

caution either they like this or they don't...words to live by

[@robertbaur3145]

simply stat from the base of the rump rubbing your way out and follow it to its natural conclusion...

[@DDG2023]

+Robert Baur Use two hands for double the pleasure!

[@chatterboxreb]

Still to this day the best video on the internet

[@browneyes1992]

"we touch all the time...so why not be the best at it?" also, the little "ehh!" at the beginning makes me laugh every time!

[@pluscarnalivero]

not a cellphone insight, just people living in the moewment.

[@gundamnduke0]

Yeah, I would be in the hospital if I do this with my cat.

[@kalebwells8033]

I finally know how to stroke , rub and massage a pussy to make it feel good

[@CiDK]

This is one of the best video the internet has to offer

[@HEDGE1011]

"That say a lot about life and about cat massage." I could not stop laughing.

[@rissehx3]

I have memorized parts of the dialogue of this video I have seen it so much

[@joeomundson]

I can't believe this only has 4 and a half million views. I've told so many people about this video

[@psychegev]

no one’s gonna talk about the kitty’s face when the lady started massaging her tail ?? :-D so cute

[@Krsnik666]

"Simply start from the base of the rump, rubbing your way out."

[@taylorbassett2512]

This video never fails me. Bless this woman, she is fucking hilarious.

[@SonOfMeme]

"It says a lot about life, and about cat massage." OH GOD I'M LITERALLY DYEING HERE

[@Satine_Moisant]

I had a kitty that looked exactly like Champer-Damper...he was the best cat in the United States. As a kitten, he was abandoned by the neighbors when they moved out. I rescued him just in time! He grew into a beautiful silver Jaguar and lived 12 years. RIP KitKat kitty boi. ❤️🥰 This Video makes me happeh!

[@carleysweeney6525]

Who's the best cat in the United States its you champer damper

[@DeflatingAtheism]

The qualified, realistic nature of the compliment makes it more meaningful. If Champer Damper isn't the best cat in the world, he's certainly the most relaxed!

[@daveidmarx8296]

@@DeflatingAtheism Slow your roll.. She didn't say ANYTHING about the world. Just the United States.

[@BBandtheRV]

my wife have been singing this for 10 years

[@SusumuChan]

"Cat massage will bring out his best meow moments" *CAT MEOWS LIKE IT'S IN THE WORST PAIN OF ITS LIFE*

[@JC-yy8iv]

EIT added the sound fx

[@jennicase]

champer damper

[@avengineering-yt]

I've got to go to the drooler to get my ring cleaned.

[@CounterStrikeBotKill]

HOLD ON, I'M CONFUSED... I'm right handed, should I use my left hand or my right foot? NEED A REPLY ASAP THIS IS CRUCIAL PLS

[@theadmiralx_2960]

My drama teacher would quote this every day. She introduced me to this video in 6th grade. Best video ever!

[@wingsandash]

The comments here are all Champer Dampers. I laughed, I cried, you became a part of me.

[@sanned8310]

honestly can she massage me? that cat looks relaxed as hell

[@ScottzoTheAvidGamer]

*tries to massage cat, is brutally mauled*

[@MecanicalEnd]

She looks like Elton John.

[@lambda494]

But then again, no.

[@robertbaur3145]

@@lambda494 or a man that uses lotions in a traveling show I know it's not much but it's the best I can do my gift is cat massage and this ones for champ

[@gfalcon]

It's the teeth... people subconsciously look at teeth first

[@gfalcon]

How did Elton John become such a good piano player? Because he sucked on an organ 😆!

[@Snoofalah]

Who's the best cat in the United States? It's you.

[@cm9241]

Champer Damper

[@citizenjane]

I lost it when she brought out the tiger stuffed animal.

[@viveretamant]

I bet the cat died mid production so they needed a plush to replace it

[@WeizHerGigBuddy]

Champer Damper has been dead for years

[@returntolifeband]

Thanks, Devin, for the nightmares...

[@multilegolover]

By next week, this video will have double the views Thanks Rhett and Link

[@KieranDuncan]

no kidding, their video was just uploaded, wait until one week!! its gonna be nuts then

[@danielw.1339]

It's next week. Someone showed me at school yesterday.

[@umasarkar6767]

Which GMM video is this from?

[@andrewnicon]

She is 100% correct in regards to cat massage though.

[@Moviemon89]

2:23 "Kill me!"

[@FireflyYTK]

Gold. Can't stop laughing.

[@cautionthisissparta]

2:26 "The fuck is this nigga doing?"

[@nomielpenguino]

at 2:38 the cat's face screams "save me!"

[@MegaMaxiepad]

I know!!! That woman´s finger kinda went in.

[@blindseeing]

"Cat massage will bring out his best, mega meow moments" EEEEEOOOOORRRRRWWWWWWWWWWEEEEE

[@bluebird0802]

that was the most sensuous video i've ever seen

[@Resequin]

After showing this to my cat, he got pissed that he wasn't the best cat in the United States. He hid. Haven't seen him in days. I think he's at a friend's place. If you find him let me know. He answers to Agent of Doom. Please halp!

[@6zka]

did u find him yet

[@DeflatingAtheism]

He's gone to Canada. Maybe he'll have a shot at being the best cat in Canada.

[@cosmicprankmusic]

Did you find him

[@BluCheeseStudios]

2 and a half minutes in, I have an exam tomorrow and I don't even have a cat, but for some reason I'm still watching.

[@TheHmm43]

The first time I saw this all those years back I cried with laughter.

[@CazzaMcSpazza]

Sing it!! Who's the craziest cat lady in the United States?

[@jarblewarble]

She's not crazy, she just loves her cat. :)

[@kittycatxhall7451]

Andy Green Agree

[@kittycatxhall7451]

CazzaMcSpazza I don't see 60+ cats...she's not there yet.

[@TheLizzifer]

Remember, you can't fool drool. Mmmmmmm.

[@ShinoharaMiyu]

"Use two hands to double your pleasure and double your fun!" ...

[@_skysick_]

She loves the cat so much and the cat is so happy.

[@AshleyPomeroy]

To be fair, the cat seems to enjoy it. And if the relationship works for them, why not?

[@JaredBlackout]

Maybe the woman is a little crazy, but look how happy this kitty cat is.

[@m00sechuckle15]

Go to :38 and look how happy that cat is, because that's were I was when I read you comment.

[@Whatshisfang]

"Simply follow from the base of the rump, slowly rubbing your way out."

[@ivyleaguelovely]

Classic video. Brings me back to my college days. 🎶Who’s the best cat in the United States? It’s you Champer Damper. It’s you! 🎵

[@andyhouston625]

I think Champion has been drugged.

[@clavos22]

I can't decided if this is amazingly hilarious or just creepy

[@Jonathan-zn7cv]

ITS YOU CHAMPER DAMPER

[@JoelRyanQuinn]

That cat gives a Jim Halpert look at the camera

[@alyssahurst8034]

She could at least say hes the best cat in the world... just the USA.. .. weak

[@EuroMIX2]

+Alyssa Hurst I think to a lot of people USA = the world, or the aspect of "world" that most appeals to them.

[@cosmicprankmusic]

There are no known cats outside USA.

[@Art886]

This video is littered with cat puns

[@candielass5]

this video is very important to me

[@cosmicprankmusic]

I hope Champ still out there gettin them massages

[@chloecolorfulx]

EH

[@jacksonpetibone2086]

I'm here before all the other victims of youtube algorithm

[@Bendew]

Chadtronic

[@DragonFang409]

Yes

[@Warvell1]

No.

[@BordelloBabe]

EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE! And yet, I'm still delighted.

[@kazazcan]

is there a kind of magic mushroom called cat mushroom? she may have meant it...

[@Dansplaining2U]

Caution! My 15 cats will eat me when I die alone in my apartment...

[@WoWSmirv]

Rhett and Link sent me, but I am sure you were most likely sent here by them as well.

[@anna_nikole]

***** Yup.

[@karlsburg5613]

Yup lol it was crazier than I expected.

[@KieranDuncan]

yurpz

[@ixchellovesrainbows4965]

yes... its true

[@SgtScoobie]

indeed.

[@danielhance1467]

God the innuendo is killing me! Lol. This is fantastic