Bitchy Sanctimonious Mommy | Harvest's New Job

Greetings! Normally, our Harvest wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this, but...Well, we have to think of the plight of the Guamanian Field Mouse. Priorities, people! #NamasteBitches

[@kidcarma9273]

i anticipated the first 'bless your heart' and it was timed perfectly. that's probably my favorite thing that harvest says lmao

[@thefamoffive3617]

lapis lazuli same dude

[@xWeMaketheFuturex]

I need Harvest to meet another SANCTIMOMMY lol!

[@asmrsounds9605]

MarcieT theVampireQueen but one where the other sanctimommy always does things just slightly better than her lol

[@xWeMaketheFuturex]

Chloe Gregory yes exactly! What if the Sanctimommy happens to catch Harvest at her new job 😈

[@cavaliertunes3332]

Yes! I need to see Harvest get constantly one-upped by this new Sanctimommy. Harvest knows how old her children are in months? Well, this Sanctimommy knows how many days old her children are. Haven can already speak three languages even though she's three? Well, this new Sanctimommy's two-year-old speaks seven languages, has a PhD in biology, and her thesis was just cited by Stephen Hawking and the Supreme Court. Harvest makes her own clothing dye? OMG! You use dye in your clothing? How are your children supposed to touch you. They'll get cancer! But I'm sure Harvest is doing her best.

[@embeexoxo]

I am here for the soap-smelling and condescension.

[@d.olluwu]

SAMEEE

[@cassandrastephan8090]

“Broaden your mind and not your hips!” Your characters are the best!

[@taylormorency3936]

“No, don’t actually touch me, this is just a friendly gesture. Don’t touch me.” That’s a big mood. Big mood.

[@_pearl_]

I always look forward to Harvest explaining the pronunciation of Ngee’s name 😂

[@chyrellemorris6924]

I need Harvest husband to go ahead and leave her so we can get Harvest dating 😂

[@Funncomment]

Chyrelle Morris Harvest Speed dating

[@lily_680]

The garlic is to mask the taste of the chemical that causes the addiction 😂😂

[@Indykittyy]

'you've been eating applesauce with preservatives in it... I can tell by the corners of your eyes' I'M DEAD 😂😂😂

[@MoreTravelPlease]

Harvest is my favorite haha besides the golddigger. If a server in real life starting talking about selective fasting while not serving us I'd flip my lid

[@douggie1962]

“ngi ....he wove the most beautiful coffee pot on our loom”. 😂😂😂😂😂

[@KaoticDreww]

Douglas McGarry it’s spelled Nygeeugh 😂😂😂

[@rachelm9886]

Kaotic Drew no it's nnnngeee* lmao

[@tiffanyfriend3089]

“Don’t actually touch me...” haha!

[@hannahhester8376]

Olive Garden. Here we go, this is going to be great.

[@FinalFirebrand]

"I'm sure you're trying your best." OH, Harvest.

[@douggie1962]

“Similac sounds like crack... it’s that dangerous” this is the most hilarious Harvest encounter yet.... you should do videos for her addiction centre Harvest Encounter For Fast Food Addiction or HEFFA for short...lol

[@thefamoffive3617]

"You don't need people telling you how to take care of your little" 😂😂 That was a VERY clever line to make her say. You should be an actress... the way you get into character is AMAZING... and if you did a male role I would pee my self laughing lol YOUR THE BEST, THANKS!!!

[@jaygrum]

I think my favorite thing about Harvest is that like...you're commenting on your own products/life ya know? LOL it's like Mary is making fun of herself, which is a sign of a great sense of humor. Love it!

[@Rawr1dontbit3]

Every Whole Foods customer. Had one call in one day to say that the organic rotisserie chicken drained her energy and she was tried after eating it and that she didn’t think it was actually organic because of that. She then came in to return the already consumed chicken.

[@Spilululily]

Mary Jane "please enter the barcodes by hand, I don't want lasers touching my food"

[@ayannaoman]

Make a KZbin video about things whole food customers do. 🤣😂🤣🤣

[@ASMRGRATITUDE]

Mary Jane I work at Whole foods too. we are currently battling the TTLA nightmare.... Thursday's is our $1 off sandwiches day and I made close to 40 of the TTL A's today.

[@Rawr1dontbit3]

ASMR Gratitude I’m tired of people asking if we sell them. We don’t because we can’t get the tempeh in... people are like then just make it with bacon... like then it’s not the TTLA

[@ASMRGRATITUDE]

Mary Jane lol.... make it with real bacon LOL that's hilarious. It sounds like Whole Foods are all dealing with similar issues because we keep running out of the tempeh. The customers don't understand how a grocery store can run out of a grocery item. They keep asking us to go in the back to get it for them and don't believe me! ...Small World After All.

[@MiaCadwallader]

Please please make a video where Harvest meets someone who does everything she does but a lot better 😂😂

[@mwritesabout]

"Allergies aren't real." Oh, my... On the next episode of SanctiMommy, Harvest is in jail for accidentally killing a customer by forcing eggplant down her throat.

[@georgemuller308]

Cat, That’s hot.

[@ShinoEAL1818]

anyone else calculate to see how old harvest's daughter is. she's 10.9 year old so almost 11

[@ananaslautta]

i get so excited every time i see a new harvest video, she’s such a good character and these videos are so freaking good thank you so much

[@lyanna0330]

I cant fall asleep with you cracking all these jokes. This humor is too muchhh for me. bless your heart Harvest 😁

[@SkyleonMK7]

I was contemplating whether I should comment or not.. I heard it - *whispers* gives you cancer, yeah. I’m running a high risk here. I had to say how much I love Harvest though. Worth it.

[@marissagillette945]

I’ve been having an extremely bad anxiety day...this made me smile and pulled me out of my head for a bit. :)

[@mosings]

Lol!! "I can tell by your skin and your slouch.." hahaha!

[@lizjones8060]

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE Harvest roleplays!!!!!! For some odd reason, your harvest/sanctimonious roleplays are the most relaxing to me and I fall asleep everytime! You are my favourite ASMRtist at the moment, you are so inspiring, you seem to have days that go on forever; you are so busy, and I do not know how you find the time to accomplish everything that you do! Love your channel, I am a serious fan!

[@curseofthepirates]

I really wanna know what Harvesrs parents were like. Were they woke too lol

[@amandacash6909]

curseofthepirates my prediction: her parents we lawyers and she had a perfect straight a sibling that was just like them and harvest is like her moms weird sister and she’s considered the weird one in the family that they don’t talk to anymore

[@ashleynl6731]

Your caption😂. I don’t watch your Harvest videos for the asmr but the humor. Seriously needed a laugh tonight, thanks for that. I look forward to more of Harvest!😄

[@ArtSleepRepeat]

I love how often Harvest says ‘bless your heart’, the ultimate southern diss haha!

[@serenesplendorasmr3635]

Bless your heart Harvest, you fill my heart with joy!

[@Absollux]

Never clicked on a video faster

[@vidmaster011]

This was relaxing as it was hilarious!!! Best Harvest video up to date!!! Keep up the FANTASTIC work!!!

[@BeautyMonster1000]

Harvest is my everything.

[@Passmethedoobiescoob]

You & your videos are so iconic and relaxing that I don’t think I’ll ever need to pay for therapy, thank you❤️❤️❤️

[@bensmom0509]

Broaden your mind, not just your hips. I’m dying lmao

[@vee3133]

Yesss i was hoping u would post 1 or 2 videos night, thank u, just in time for me to go to sleep.

[@SouthernASMRSounds]

Vanessa Williams You are so welcome! 💖

[@vee3133]

SouthernASMR Sounds 😁💜

[@sandramarten5605]

Guam Fieldmouse! Fisher needs money now! Ooooh, chemical addiction, masked by garlic! Chain food junkies! My synthetics are causing me total fatigue also.....just by being bitter I'm being batter, um better. TV rots your life. Its a Chem 'unhappy' Meal. Everything on that menu is a death warrant! Haven 131 months old, swimming in chemicals, poor unfortunate baby.

[@LinaR707]

This is my new favourite character! Please do bring her back . Harvest is a legend !

[@coryg.8638]

I would flip the hell out on a server like this. I love your harvest videos I go back and watch them and I really can not imagine the person you met to be so good at this roleplay.

[@lt2684]

"Broaden your mind not you hips" LMAO !!!!!!!

[@Em-mx2wu]

20 seconds into this and I know I’m going to love it

[@really5660]

You are hilarious!!! thanks for the laugh💛

[@caralinestanley9783]

So excited!! Love harvest

[@Monsicorn]

Soooooo...did Harvest just force someone to eat eggplant when they were allergic to it?

[@backtothebooks9201]

I'm wondering how much 'Guam field mice' look like pretty cruise ship staff...

[@peixe-no-pão]

I lost it when she heaved up the water jar 😂

[@northernwhispers14]

Why do i just want an hour video of harvest whispering "it causes cancer"?

[@coryg.8638]

I was starting to think Harvest got arrested 😂

[@lord.have.myrcene]

The best part of every harvest video is when she whispers very low "it causes cancer"

[@doodlebugasmr184]

I LOVED THIS VIDEO! :) "Don't touch me, no don't touch me..." lololol

[@thefamoffive3617]

That drug-dealer-dope line... miiiiight be the first reference that harvest has ever made that makes sense

[@copenhagenblue59]

One hot steaming plate of knowledge please. Oh, and a side of spaghetti.

[@MyEndoJourney]

"I'm working on clearing out some space in my garage..." #MSGdetox! Love Mary!

[@mbb--]

Glad you featured some of that new "raw water" that people pay 20 bucks for. lmao. YUM!

[@rory7485]

sorry mary but I find it hard to find people on the internet who like what I like so I seek here and love your videos they are so great and funny! I’m a big fan! Goodbye this was about my “phandom?” comment by the way haha

[@jordanli8485]

Two words, "LOVE THIS"!!!!!!!

[@douggie1962]

“you might say eating keeps you busy all day....” rofl

[@johnhow5393]

It's your mannerisms in all your videos as well as everything else which makes you so good

[@Knockturnallie]

You are so hilarious. "Do you have a garden?" I live in Asheville and see a lot of this, lol.

[@h2ogurl1234]

Love harvest so much. Wish I could make it through the whole video. I'll need to come back when I'm more awake

[@alycatness3761]

No doubt with all the brown tree snakes over on Guam those mice are hiding on those ships 😂

[@Roxie207]

Alycatness37 Haha right! Or in a cage ziptied to a fence or tree. 😉

[@alycatness3761]

Roxie I see I’m not the only one that lived on or visited Guam 😂😂

[@alycatness3761]

I actually miss it terribly 😂 Just not the snake traps. Although I only saw live ones at Underwater World Thankfully. Saw lots of dead snakes though. My neighbor had one fall off her door frame 😵

[@Roxie207]

Alycatness37 LOL Yep! Stationed there twice and loved every minute of it...except for the toads when it rained and the brown tree snakes haha.

[@alycatness3761]

Roxie nice! I was there four years straight and loved McCool school for my son. It’s been over 6 years since we left but I miss it dearly. Haha small world on an asmr comment section 😂

[@alexistardiff6453]

While watching this, I am wearing yoga pants. 😂😂

[@juliapolansky7112]

I️ miss harvest 😭 hope to see her soon!

[@rickeebutterworth7634]

"Oh you don't know the truth about hand sanitizer? " As I am rubbing my hands together after having just applied some. Crap.

[@maic.6404]

Here before there was even a thumbnail 🤟🏼🤩

[@Kizzalovespugs]

Can't wait to watch this tonight after work. Luv you Mary!!!!! X

[@KennFast]

“No don’t touch me. Thank you.” That’s me at school and in public 24/7 😂

[@Lytah84]

Anaphylactic Shock...Thats just a myth...lol lol lol

[@whitexchina]

"A hot 🔥 steaming plate of Knowledge." 🎤 💧

[@ThatSoundsLovely]

Omg YESSSSSS my favourite character!!! You are too good to us, Mary.

[@gracefulbarbie]

i love this but can you imagine if this happened in real life😂😂 like just imagine being that customer

[@vm88940]

Harvest is like a rollercoaster trip. 🙌🙌🙌🙌🎢🎢🎢🎢🎢🎢

[@hollyfink1]

YOU are AMAZING!!!

[@jillanehogard5896]

Awww....Harvest, you're the best!!

[@ThatSoundsLovely]

Oh the mug!!!! Hahaha I am dead. Hahaha oh Mary. I can't!!!

[@kristikeller7238]

HARVEST!!! I’ve missed you so MUCH!!❤️❤️

[@aprilmarienelums56]

Omg I'm so excited for this

[@whitexchina]

I would sit there for 20 min. & wonder if I would be on some hidden camera show, or if this is just the most crazy person I have ever met. & my mother is schizophrenic.

[@TheScbeauty]

Every southern American just gasped in horror at the diss about sweet tea

[@joamurray2237]

i wish i could communicate with someone like harvest communicates with fisher via astroplane

[@tcmtcm1133]

Her character is literally every mom in ojai.

[@Vinnynixon33]

YESSS HARVEST IS BACK!

[@carolinebeggs4386]

“no, dont actually touch me” 😂

[@fattwat1]

Sand flea LOL

[@kendradahlstromerickson7793]

Haven and Guy! 😂 you’re seriously funny

[@kiramadeley1753]

'No don't touch me' 😂😂

[@kashkeznko1063]

Please make a video where harvest meets someone who does everything she does but better

[@seanstreek9817]

Top 10! Love ur videos! :)

[@tomorrowsasmr]

When you said you didn’t get spaghetti with meat sauce and that it was gross...it reminded me of my French teacher... no one likes him because he’s just like that

[@rosebrandenburg7]

h'yar gal, drank down some dirt-water, it's got fiber in it! lololol I bet Haven is a nervous wreck and severely emotionally dysfunctional for having such a narcissistic parent.

[@Em-mx2wu]

You should do a harvest meets another sanctimommy

[@sparrowlynn2027]

Literally my grandmother acts EXACTLY like this, she crazy

[@lisade5643]

YAS...HARVEST! ❤️ My Girl!!

[@d.olluwu]

OMG YOURE ALMOST TO 100k !!!! can’t wait to brag to all the new subscribers how i was here first!!

[@Mindfulmommaof3]

My 3rd child does attachment childing🤣

[@sarahshepherd5850]

This is hysterical! 😂

[@musicalqueen38]

Hahaha the cruise field mouse

[@BrieHxC.]

Love this! Hilarious. 😂😂

[@stwofwithmusic]

I work for Olive Garden and this is hilarious 😂😂❤️