Funeral Etiquette with Gayden & Charlotte | Southern Living

[@carlagoncalves531]

Please make more videos with these ladies they add great value to the new twisted world.

[@TheWriterWalker]

I love this. As a Southerner who values Southern ladyhood, I know that these women are describing a cherished culture.

[@TheWriterWalker]

ShowandTell Reviews, I think you have assigned to these etiquette coaches a motive they do not have. They are not being malicious when they offer critique of certain behaviors. No, but they offer sorely needed suggestions designed to help others acquire a small level of social grace and to avoid the faux pas culture that dominates today's society. I watched their video again after reading your comment just to make sure you and I had watched the same thing! Some people are simply born with an eye that can easily spot the differences between crude and class. We have always relied upon such persons to highlight the elegant. Lord knows that in the America of today, where rude and inelegant people walk about in public wearing pajama pants and prostitute wear, we need all the Southern-lady advice we can get!

[@nicholelivesay3828]

TheWriterWalker I could not agree more. Everything you said is very true. Well said! The lovely Southern women of America’s past must be rolling over in their graves at the way our country has changed. Ugh.

[@marilynbrown5274]

I agree..and I am from the North. Proper etiquette is the way to go.

[@TheWriterWalker]

@@marilynbrown5274, I appreciate your comment.

[@TheWriterWalker]

@@nicholelivesay3828, please forgive my tardy reply. I never knew you had responded. But thank you for affirming what I wrote. Apparently, the person I was responding to removed his comment.

[@Chance.Wilson]

No one dies better than a southerner lol

[@mikebtrfld1705]

awesome sauce an Irishman!

[@marilynbrown5274]

The IRISH are professionals! LOL

[@Tubebrerry]

Glad to see that good taste is still living somewhere.

[@sailor75565]

Excellent ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@wyntertyme1735]

The best southern funeral instruction /recipe book is "Being Dead Is No Excuse"

[@suzannezethner8180]

My father passed and he was a school teacher. Dearly loved and many mourners for 2 days straight. People brought tee shirts and photos and cars and notes.... all put in his coffin. I put a remote control in his hand. He was never without it ! (No batteries, because everyone knows you don't need batteries in Heaven) 😇

[@TheWriterWalker]

I love your comment, sister. Touching and amusing. And, wonder what your father's angel-powered remote would have summoned for him to watch? "Charlie's Angels"? Lol. Or, "Touched By An Angel"? Probably not the first, for sure!

[@aa64912]

They would not be happy with me. My wife has a niche at the cemetery for her ashes, when she died I carried her ashes in a sealed urn to the cemetery on our goldwing motorcycle. Our last ride together

[@kit_callie]

As they say, I think that's harmless and sweet. It's not a gaudy affair making a show out of the event. It's a sweet memory like the flashlight or note they mentioned. Thank you for sharing this with us. 💙

[@tango-bravo]

Lucky for you, they probably weren’t at your wife’s funeral, so you didn’t have to catch side-eye or see any eye rolls as you did something meaningful to you.

[@jamalive]

So true....long stories in a memorial are too much. Especially in the newspaper

[@cr8tivecarbaholic]

Love these two ladies!

[@aka501z]

I may learn a lot from these ladies.

[@jamesz.williams8746]

Back when I was younger Greenville County(SC) police would escort the funeral procession. I think that should be something that should be reinstated. Motorist have no respect for a funeral procession now days.

[@melindaunknown6411]

James Z. Williams They still do that where I live. Course I still live in a very small town in Tennessee.

[@TheWriterWalker]

James Z. Williams, I agree with you that escorting processions is a lovely and respectful thing to do. You'll be glad to know the custom still goes on in other places all around the country.

[@MegaElvisd]

Yes, sir.

[@EdwardGarrenMFT]

Generally, all of this is true. I am from "The South" (Florida, Georgia, N. Carolina) and an Episcopalian. I am glad I had the upbringing of a Southerner. I moved west to California in 1983 and noted the one significant difference, at least in California, the minister doesn't offer a eulogy, but some family members, and or friends DO get up and say "a few words." Generally the rule is, keep it short, and you don't need to praise the person as much as share a close, or poignant moment about your relationship with the person. I suspect this is a remnant from the "Old West" when "getting a preacher" or other minister to perform the funeral wasn't easy. So the family, and/or friends had to bury the body, and offer their thoughts on their loss. At my father's funeral (at St. Mary's Episcopal Church in Dade City Florida) I offered this comment, "My father was an honorable man, who worked hard to keep a loving relationship with me, even though I was his worst nightmare come true." The genesis of this, which most in town already knew, was that I am a Gay man (why I moved west in 1983 for a more open & honest life) and my father had deep internal conflict with that fact of my existance, and was convinced that somehow he had "caused" it. He had his own internal torments which added to this. At other funerals I've attended, the grandchildren will talk about the moments with grand dad at the baseball game, or the great life lesson they learned from obsrving the grandparent or uncle, or good friend over their lives. I think this is much more "tasteful" than a eulogy, and certainly more tasteful than the classic "open casket" "two preacher" funeral where the first preacher talks about what a (secretly) wonderful person the deceased was and the second preaches "hell fire and brimstone" all punctuated by at least one woman in the family who startes wailing (almost on cue). Then the undertaker invites the congregation to "take one last look" at the deceased. Funerals are an entire art form in the South. The trick is, will it be tasteful art, or tacky? This video offers a good starting point for tasteful.

[@ConstantCompanion]

I live out on the west coast, but my family is Southern. We do the thing where you get up and talk about the person at the funeral. Only, we don't lie. If you have a story that's humorous or a good memory, you share that. You don't lie. I've seen it go so far as at a funeral, relatives and Friends being invited to speak, and nobody went up! They didn't have anything to say I guess. But you're not supposed to lie. We have done some relatively and usual things with funerals, but never a theme funeral. That is obnoxious.

[@amoliver1234]

Every Southern lady I know has a "funeral dish."

[@bettierusso5410]

Shoot, I have two funeral cookbooks

[@jackfrosty4674]

The camouflage funeral sounds great.

[@earldeanpowell]

As Yogi said, You want people to come to your funeral, you gotta go to theirs. As a minister for 35 years, in a funeral I want to remember the person, comfort the family and, above all, worship God...30 minutes!😎

[@bettierusso5410]

God love em!... " All Southerners love a good funeral" LOL. True, true, true. They are sacrad to all Southerner's and we all have our BLACK, clean, pressed, funeral "outfit" hanging in a bag in the closet 24hrs a day to be "ready whenever we might need it". We all were taught to take proper funeral food to the family instantly and have a, .frozen casserole in the freezer that is never touched for that very reason. Bless their hearts six ways to Sunday.

[@theresalivingston1985]

‘If I gotta wear stockings, they gotta wear a tie.” Ain’t this the truth! I am Southern. I was raised this way and taught these things, but I have always said somebody has to die before I put on a pair of stockings in the South!

[@Lellobeetle]

Yes - I'm Episcopalian and we absolutely do NOT do eulogies. The funeral should be dignified.

[@kit_callie]

Is it alright to have a eulogy after the funeral? At the gravesite or reception?

[@j.s.matlock1456]

I'm from Texas and I have a more practical view. The funeral is for those who are left behind and they should do whatever brings them comfort - however they want to remember me. If they want to have me stuffed and mounted over the mantle or cremated and buried in a shoebox in the backyard, I will be past caring. It won't make any difference to me at that point. I will be in heaven with my Lord. My young cousin is studying to be a mortician, and you don't really want to know all the things that happen to your body before you're laid out in a pretty box. A camouflage-covered coffin would be the least of your worries.

[@raindancer3330]

My mother in-law's viewing is today. It's wierd but I like to wear Victorian mourning jewelry. I did find a flower hair pin of her favorite color, most of the family will probably wear her favorite color. I'm truly going to miss Delores. If I could say something about her I would say, Delores had no filter, she wore the pants in her family. Delores was a bit of Barbara Stanwyck, Lucille Ball ( Not Lucy but the actress herself) My daughter described her best, she would insult you and give you money. 😆 she was a damn good cook. One of her favorite sayings was, " I was born alone." I'm sad we didn't have a better relationship in the beginning, she was intimidating. I started calling her Delores a few years ago, been married to her damn son 31yrs! She could've had a better relationship with her grandchildren if she was more affectionate. She absolutely loved her grandchildren and showed them in her own way. I have regrets of not trying harder to get to know her. I have a couple pieces of jewelry she gave me, my favorite is a small cameo locket, I'm wearing it right now, I'm glad she saw me wearing it before her surgery. Delores was definitely a Lady and I will truly miss her. I decided not to talk too much but to make sure others are comfortable, help serve food tend to the elderly and and small children. I want to be at my best for her.

[@kit_callie]

I can't speak on any other's behalf, but from my experience funerals are too often turned into a show or forced get together than a time of respect. For my funeral (if I have one) I don't want anyone visiting who couldn't be troubled to visit while I was alive, I don't want a eulogy written by a random preacher or another who doesn't know me, If I'm in the obits, don't share details: if they don't know already then they don't need to (name, dates, cause of death, survived by is okay) Don't break the bank for me paper goods are just fine, The event is for my family to come to terms, not your bragging or whining! Shower them with love or shove off

[@thomaswhitten2537]

I somewhat disagree on the obit length. Sometimes people see a name listed, recognize it but can't really remember where they might have know a person from. True, the deceased may not have been a friend but a little background on the deceased is often helpful to me to determine, 'is the same person I went to school with?'.

[@VivKittie32]

Oh my I had no idea funerals had themes now. 😂 Too tacky.

[@loriloristuff]

Themed funeral? Oh my. Smelling salts!

[@shonnathompson499]

My grandmother passed away in January... We didn't have a theme, yet her favorite color was a dark blue, so my mom (an only child) thought it would be ok if all of the grandkids and pallbearers war dark blue shirts and pressed jeans.. of course I War my grandmother's long sleeve dark blue sweater... my grandmother wasn't a fancy lady, yet between my mom and myself, we maid it tasteful and nice..

[@carolecook1116]

Shonna Thompson~🌹 Condolences on 1/18 Grandmother's passing. Dark blue is classically tasteful. Lovely memorial to her. Be well, Shonna😊.

[@tango-bravo]

This seems like an SNL skit. Who are these women to condemn people if they want a theme funeral, or to even say something like “southerners love a funeral”, or talk about people later if you want to lie about them ???!!!!!This is absurd!! 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@livinglife8333]

NO EULOGY? THATS NOT RIGHT, YOU DON’T STAND UP THERE AND LIE, FOR HEAVENS SAKE. If they were worthless then don’t have a eulogy. I’m grateful that I could write my nans eulogy as I wasn’t able to attend due to surgery.

[@kit_callie]

I think it was the timing of the eulogy the Episcapalian church has an issue with. God doesn't need to hear the praises, so have the eulogy at the reception instead of the church? That's how I understood it.

[@pamelagailjorgensen8411]

Would Yall believe when we were little Girls at Funerals.. It was perfectly proper for the Girls to Pluck a Long Stem Pretty Carnation on a Water Tube from all the Sprays! We carried them home! Oh my Horrors today. Also do Yall rember taking a Rose from a Spray and taking the Petals off and Pressing them between the Psalms pages in our Bibles? Back then Everyone carried their Bible to Church for the Funeral then had Dinner on the Ground like the Church Homecoming! Oh Lord! Back home in Louisiana

[@andreacaro301997]

That sounded so nice. It's so different in My country where if that same day they are going yo bury a gang member, You can get stolen in the cementery Even if You are crying, they would sometimes put loud music on and it's just crazy.

[@Dave-zl2ky]

So glad you are not invited to my funeral.

[@kellysutton2780]

Is a white and black dress ok for a funeral?

[@joshuahawley2264]

Yes. In the south White dresses are are very acceptable in the summer heat

[@jessicadeskins7385]

I have seen a girl (was going to say a lady, but she is NO lady) LITERALLY cutting her toenails IN the church during a funeral during her husband’s (my brother-in-law) grandfather’s funeral. It took everything I had not to snatch her up and drag her out.

[@keithaustin8945]

The new tradition I don't understand is opening the microphone for a style of "karaoke" style.eulogies. a long line forms and everyone gets to deliver a short, ill-conceived breif eulogy of their own. Don't do it, it's a.funeral, not open mic night at the club

[@earldeanpowell]

I've seen that at a Catholic wake/visitation, but not the service.

[@gazzybishop8320]

My pet peeve that makes me so mad is when people say, "They're in a better place now". Unless they were fighting an ongoing, arduous illness, what was so wrong with their life here? Maybe they were happy and had a wonderful life and family, and were killed in a freak accident? That statement is just so cliche, and I guess a habit for people to say.

[@ddylla85]

Gazzy Bishop "Sorry for your loss" is habit, "They're in a better place" is truth for Christians. Yes we grieve and mourn their passing, but we also know they have entered The Kingdom of God, our Father for eternity. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. -Revelation 21:4

[@user-ko2tu3ss3o]

Try five funerals in one day, yes thats 5 for 1 man in one day. The family talked through many many hours to the point that people were sneeking out. Funeral home. Family home. Church. Crematorium. Family home service. All for one much loved man. He was probably spinning in the box.

[@Gyarren]

I like these ladies! I have a question, though: if you're attending the funeral of someone you didn't know very well, and they have a lunch/get-together afterwards, is it appropriate to attend the meal? I would hate for that person's bereaved friends and family to think that I was just there for the food; but I wouldn't want to hurry off without a word, either...

[@susanjones8794]

Gyarren if you are accompanying a friend or whomever then yes it is expected you stay for the meal. If you are alone and only there for support then you attend the service and burial only. Give your condolences to the direct family and dismiss yourself quietly.

[@kit_callie]

@@susanjones8794 thank you.

[@KrysDlite]

Casket* a coffin ⚰️ is shaped like the emoji.

[@connieparsons28]

I’ve been born and raised a southern lady. Please do not take what they said about a funeral as the gospel. The only correct verbiage was you only get one funeral. Get the camouflage casket, say good things during the service, deck out the room with keepsakes and remembrances, write a long obituary! Do what you think would honor your loved one.

[@sherryhudson9075]

I never heard of a camo funeral!!!

[@MegaElvisd]

"She is large and in charge". That is all.

[@CoxePropertyMgmtAndLeasing]

Two Southern Bells tell it like it really is. Lots of Class. However there are a few people I intend to drop off something awful on their grave sites when they die. Only fair since they tried their best to kill me that I out live them and have the last word.

[@rubywingo6030]

They didn"t mention tbe video presentations! Hate those!!!

[@rachelgarber1423]

Theme funeral? Who does that?

[@TheWriterWalker]

Rachel Garber, some people do. kzbin.info/www/bejne/qZWqqKqJYth3ZqM

[@rosemorris7912]

Lighten up Karen! If Goober wants to be buried in an Alabama coffin, it's not hurtin' anybody. One thing they forgot: (looking over at the body) "Oh, bless his little heart!"

[@tarawelch9527]

“That’s just tacky”

[@racheller8753]

A little mean spirited opinions for my taste. My best friend just passed and none of this resonated with me! 👎🏼

[@CynicallyObnoxious]

I act it but I'll lean to whisper one more nasty comment before they get tossed in the dirt

[@loda9510]

Boring