SPECIAL WEBINAR: Jon Taylor on Parental Enmeshment, Part 2 of 2, Jan 26, 2023

[@suzymagan7575]

Thank you so much, Jon

[@wilblissful]

I have been through this now for 30 yrs with the whole in law family. And its horrible. Thats right the wife is singled out by her own spouse and his mother for abuse by the whole narc nest. It starts with the mother and the husband joins in because he is so happy not to be the scapegoat but he too scapegoats the wife and treats her how the gamily wants her treated. They do not love, they do not empathize, basically they do not care about the wife, the children or anything outside the mother in laws wishes. It extends to aunt uncles cousins. The son husband must now dance like a show monkey to be acepted by this sick family who claims they love him. They just dont want outsiders pointing out the issues of this mess of a family and just like all abusers you better not air the dirty laundry. Ef that.

[@bridaw8557]

Sometimes attachment trauma is triggered in the wife by the enmeshed man’s mother and family where she feels like she’s in her family of origin where she experienced Neglect and emotional abandonment. She is attracted to a man like this but then accused by the family of things that the mentally Ill mother projects onto the wife. The wife who was family scapegoat may also be sensitive and want to please as a child but angry when the MIL enmeshed both and the wife is enmesh with his family too. If she’s accused of being the one trykk I’m nb to break olio the family or manipulated the spouse it often is a reaction to that very thing the mother and family is doing to the marriage, if she has low self esteem as weak sense of self having a right to ask for boundaries with the family in law. If she’s accused of emotion regulation issues that the mother and sisters never had to change then she can absorb that and feel conflicted. She may be driven to despair as she reacts to the grief and emotional abandonment by the spouse as he’s loyal to the mother and family of origin first. She may have begun higher functioning that the women I. The family only to relapse i. Her own emotional pain. Slapping a label on the wife alone without addressing the husbands issues, there becomes a power differential with her husband she’s terrified and saddened by having to take the loss as well as having to lose to the mother. Her husband is a “nice guy” to everyone but passive and feed the conflict with his mother, triggering the wife’s issues. Too often these women are told there is something wrong with who THEY are and they believe it out of low self esteem, then they spiral down. There was very little info or understanding for the spouses of this. The woman feels like something is unhappy and not ok back then but since they seem like nice people or he’s a nice guy they dismiss that’s he’s passive early as dating and mom goes ballistic and controlling sending agents after them. You mention men marrying a woman with “issues” because their mother was like that. But what is missing is she may regress and become less if nctiimak and relapse. As you know (besides you guys since relationships and psychology is your Mai. Focus. This is very very rare to find in men) women who has these traumas are made worse I. Self respect staying in this marriage but now can’t get out women are very very much more impacted by husband mother Enmeshment than men are Ic the wife is with her mother. Maybe the pathologizing of these women for THEIR being sensitive, and gifted highly sensitive intuitive and perhaps neurodivergent. They often take the brunt for men with these issues as THEY are betrayed by the infidelity of mother son Enmeshment. Picking a wife with something wrong with her personality and the mother saying that to the son because she is projecting. People abuse these things to use against the wife because they’re just don’t like her When you mention these things, be sure you emphasize that it is an attachment provocation vicious cycle for the couple. Anxious attached wife and avoidant passive husband!