Crusader Kings 3: In Real Life

[@SquireComedy]

Big thanks to Ridge for sending me this wallet and supporting the channel! Here’s the site if you want to check them out! www.ridge.com/SQUIRE and use the Code “SQUIRE” for 10% off your order. Anyway, the next couple of videos should be tanky, so brace yourselves for that. We'll be glad to be stepping out of a shed filled with cow shit, and into a nice comfortable room.

[@AttiliusRex]

@Pimpf 443 a.k.a. Esquire i second this as i have just gotten into the airsoft hobby but dont want to spend money on guns

[@alucardgd2831]

Squire my lord i be from the land of colchester (a right shithole) can you send your army (bill) to do a video there and take the piss (It would be funny and frankly i think your men for the job)

[@magoshighlands4074]

Is that meant to be a Scottish accent? Cause if so, that's better than Digby's (Which isn't hard but still) WELL DONE!

[@klipsfilmsmelbourne]

what if greyhound was a world of warships film british film war thunder film (no submer um conflict)

[@Blueboy0316]

"I was in a brothel and I came as quickly as I could". Well done sir, well done.

[@darthmauljoinedthescpfound6958]

I am gonna crusade your house

[@Amy_the_Lizard]

Figured that one would catch syphalis/great pox and die honestly

[@alphagamer9505]

Phrasing

[@lukecreed5767]

"It's a girl!" *sighs* "Chancellor! We're going on a hunt!" "It's a Genius, Attractive, girl!" "Chancellor! We're going to enact Cognatic Law!"

[@tortex1]

"Our culture doesn't understand that concept, sire. Might I suggest getting a son and marrying them? Might pass that genius trait onward. Maybe."

[@mandowarrior123]

@@tortex1 mathematically if you skip a generation each inbreeding you shouldn't get issues. Probably.

[@Alphenis]

Nah, you don't enact Cognatic Law, you just take a new lover.

[@AlexBrown230]

"It's a genius, attractive girl." Well son, i found you a wife.......

[@TechnoMinarchist]

@@mandowarrior123 In CK3, after enough inbreeding you get the Pureblood trait. Basically your incest goes full circle and starts netting positive traits instead. Mathematically this is entirely possible and it was created after the team consulted some biologists.

[@ZillyWhale]

When you spend the last six months on crusade.... in Dorset.

[@SquireComedy]

Bunch of heathens!

[@ProjectEkerTest33]

Personally I'd let the heathens keep it

[@ZillyWhale]

@@ProjectEkerTest33 No heathens in the glorious Empire of Squidonia

[@icecreamtonk786]

Oh bloody hell not Dorset...

[@irisallender6796]

@@ProjectEkerTest33 Thank you

[@ConfusedFroug]

The issue I had with this was for the first 10 seconds I was not sure if that was fake or real hair, and I was really disturbed.

[@SquireComedy]

Not as disturbed as my loved ones were.

[@rickymcgowen6776]

@@SquireComedy if it's a wig, it's not bad. If it's real hair, it need some good shampoo.

[@fupsies6045]

Hmm, legitimized son named Henry wearing a green shirt and a red scarf who needs to needs to bring his kingdom deliverance. Where have I heard this before?

[@SquireComedy]

I have no idea what you're reaching for there.

[@DeathnoteBB]

Squire I can’t tell if this us sarcasm or not

[@kryzzan7039]

that was one of the best games i have played

[@DeathnoteBB]

9 months later (lol) on July 3rd 2021, I come back to realize ofc it was sarcasm. Dunno why I wasn’t sure 9 months ago

[@denrol8266]

@@DeathnoteBB I'm happy to hear about your fast enlightment

[@SlicesofHistory]

Not sure if anyone else noticed, but the Chancellor seems to have gigantism, and so does Egbert. On top of that, the kid was conceived while the king was on a crusade. Furthermore, as soon as the king gets suspicious, the chancellor shuts them down So Egbert is the Chancellors son

[@DeathnoteBB]

😮

[@meteorwt2122]

Yes, another squire upload! Quite marvellous in fact!

[@SquireComedy]

Indeed! We hope you enjoy it!

[@meteorwt2122]

Squire I’m sure I will!

[@ragerancher]

"Runs in the family" "Ah that's dysentery for you" Brilliant

[@hydra5917]

It's been 5 years im still watching you Old champ.

[@SquireComedy]

Thanks for sticking with us mate!

[@theredbaron3994]

“Well your sister, I mean lover”. I laughed so hard. Thanks for all the likes on the comment :D Love your content squire, keep up the good work!

[@SquireComedy]

Ah, medieval times eh?

[@heliosspecialistarrogant7031]

@@SquireComedy you mean Alabama

[@RebelHound]

Habsburger Edition

[@sherrihall5479]

@@SquireComedy *sweet home holy roman empire*

[@michaeldavis4651]

@@heliosspecialistarrogant7031 Hey! I resent that remark. That's Arkansas you're thinking of. First cousins is Alabama. 😂

[@mammaspizza1234]

Can’t wait for this truly glorious game!

[@SquireComedy]

Only a couple more days!

[@tuberculosisterrence567]

It's tomorrow

[@sherrihall5479]

@@tuberculosisterrence567 nah its two days

[@devvytm]

@@sherrihall5479 nah it's out already 😏

[@gimrrin8724]

"It tastes a bit bitter" Famous last words of a CK character

[@mpersad]

Good Lord the open legs in the opening scene! I won't ever be able to forget that, though I wish I could!

[@SquireComedy]

You weren't in the bloody room. I caught an eyeful.

[@gufosufo337]

I didnt notice it at first. Why did you bring attention to it.

[@jakeandthebowtie]

The ankles I can't... Take my eyes off... The ankles

[@devvytm]

@@jakeandthebowtie You are weird my guy. Absolutely weird 🤣🤣🤣

[@TheBayzent]

@@SquireComedy Remember CK's rules, Carousing sometimes cures depression, so go down to the pub and get wasted until you forget even your name. If you get disentery remember to pester magical chinese old men i the streets until they give you a milenary remedy.

[@MaeBee]

I feel like "Runs in the family." - "Ah, that's dysentery for you!" is completely underappreciated :D

[@teslo8020]

Your acting is just so... witty. I love it!

[@SquireComedy]

Thanks! That's made me rather happy.

[@PauloGarcia-sp5ws]

"You'r Sist.... I mean lover" God, that made me crack up. How many times has that happened in my ck2 games to keep my kids geniuses. Lmao. And the fist pump at 8:27. Haha.

[@radekchrabota]

I wasn't expecting the Spanish inquisition!

[@mitsvanmitsvanio6106]

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

[@radekchrabota]

@@mitsvanmitsvanio6106 I should have known

[@PauloGarcia-sp5ws]

@@mitsvanmitsvanio6106 yes.

[@darksteiner631]

Imagine having a chancellor with his diplomacy skill of 40 and lose him to HRE

[@darksteiner631]

This doesn't even makes sense but ok, thanks for liking this comment.

[@_Woody_]

*The King is dead!* .... *long live the* ... the king is dead.

[@ojisanhoward8940]

GOD SAVE THE KI.....DAMN IT!

[@Katharina-rp7iq]

Queen. It's queen.

[@Mediados]

@@Katharina-rp7iq Why am i pretty sure you are British.

[@_Woody_]

@@Mediados And yet this person seemingly doesn't know that the song changes according to the ruling monarch.

[@MravacKid]

More like the King's entire paternal bloodline is dead, now the crown goes to his great-grand-uncles seconfd cousins neigbours bastard son. :)

[@okezieeleweanya]

“Oh, I know the one. The one with HUUUUGE ambition.” I died there..🤣

[@Aldrahill]

Hearing the words “partition succession” makes me shudder. Bloody different succession rules for different titles...

[@strongback6550]

Gavelkind~

[@Aldrahill]

@@strongback6550 Gavelkind was CK2, it's known "Paritition" in CK3

[@cgt3704]

Wait. Does it mean that King squire would see his kongdom divided

[@Alphenis]

@@cgt3704 That's why he killed all his inept sons.

[@stevenrothwell19]

"My Grandfather Alfred, who always wanted to be called Canute" [Wessex disliked that]

[@NapoleonBonaparte5]

"Crusading in Dorset" lol

[@dragonsword7370]

You know of a comparison joke for that in the United States? It sounds like "gone crusading in Delaware".

[@drstihl2007]

Could you explain that one to me?

[@rumplebutts6442]

@@drstihl2007 I think it's because dorset is a catholic place which makes no sense to be crusading in

[@darthmauljoinedthescpfound6958]

I will crusade your door and crusade your house

[@zawarudo9444]

8:03 " i shouldn't have said that" *SO HE IS THE ANCESTOR OF HAGRID!*

[@tristanmitchell1242]

The Daughter is the best character. Probably his smartest and wisest child, too.

[@ojisanhoward8940]

Not only does Squire do the best skits in his country of London! He also does it for his ads as well! Well done! (He also has some minor assistance)

[@gachaelephant6841]

*country of London* ?

[@ojisanhoward8940]

@@gachaelephant6841 YEEESSSS!

[@Demonex118]

@@ojisanhoward8940 County of London*

[@nickhuggins1690]

I think you mean city of London

[@horushyperion76]

" I just gave her a good old tumble" is such a CK2 quote

[@hedgeearthridge6807]

They did a wonderful job of capturing how trashy the average CK family is

[@Exeggutor_Enjoyer]

Crusader Kings, the only strategy game where you can be an abusive father.

[@7Tenchi]

Loved the vid, my favorite part was when it was not to subtly implied that the kings only natural born son was his chancellor's son.

[@DanielFoerster]

Was not expecting that ended-rightly resolution to the mugger problem. Well done.

[@greninjamastergabe6452]

Because you have open council positions, your powerful vassals are mad at you and have formed a faction to overthrow you and replace you with your illegitimate third cousin in Norway.

[@Rasmusnilsenbie]

yes

[@gamergrill4933]

Ah yes, wrong grandfather name, your wife getting pregnant while crusading, good old crusader kings

[@Mediados]

I would have expected you saying: "Knut is dead! He fell from his horse and drowned in a river." Thats probably one of the most stupid ways to die. There is no chance this could have happened to any monarch in Medieval Times.

[@seraphazrael4218]

Rip Fredrick Barbossa lol

[@GabFrrost]

RIP Ladislaw Iagelovich, king of Hungary (Mohacs, 1526)

[@weldonwin]

I dunno, gorging yourself to death on eels seems pretty stupid

[@montynelson5033]

Simply spiffing, the highlight of my week! Thanks for the new video 👌

[@SquireComedy]

Our pleasure mate!

[@kushalthapa5177]

I was expecting Henry to be assassinated by someone else. Dysentry was totally unexpected.

[@maxmach4361]

"Your sist.. I mean lover" Good old classics.

[@WG55]

Ah, the Middle Ages.

[@xmlthegreat]

"Runs in the family." You utter genius bastard...

[@pedromalbec]

We need more sponsors so this guys make videos

[@NLTops]

Ohhhh myyyyy goddddd. I know it's going to be a good one when 5 seconds in I'm already laughing uncontrollably. Truely glorious humour as always!

[@SquireComedy]

Cheers very muchly!

[@quillmaurer6563]

Love how, despite being out of focus, we can clearly tell the "queen" in the opening scene has a beard. Wouldn't be Squire if he didn't cast Bill in that role!

[@AlmostCZ]

this video is so underrated, great jokes! would love to see another video of this series

[@Aewon84]

The joke about him sending one of his sons to Lindisfarne would have been funny... except 1065 is hundreds of years after the Viking raid on that monastery.

[@jorvach9874]

Don't worry, they'll be back.

[@ConnanTheCivilized]

Tell that to Vikings and every offer piece of historical fiction. It’s like they’re labeled fiction?! 🤔

[@charlesreddington6834]

I love your guys sense of humor! Carry on mates.

[@animeAJproductions]

The game releases 8.31, and I can recognize CK2 Way of Life DLC dialogue when I hear it.

[@jasonzhou8274]

Don't worry about the poison thing, just preform operation "Load a save state"!

[@englishstout1778]

I’ve been waiting ages for my favorite youtuber to upload again

[@SquireComedy]

Let me know when he does!

[@englishstout1778]

Squire LMAO I think he did yesterday 🤣 Might ring a bell? Squire!

[@karimhammam9105]

I serve the squidonion empire yesss

[@SquireComedy]

You get a YEEEEEESSSS

[@ojisanhoward8940]

Yeeessss!

[@karimhammam9105]

@@SquireComedy love your videos and my favourite are the war thunder ones like (when tanks dont die)

[@shakey2023]

Yeahhhhhh sure north Korea 🇰🇵 style empire maybe

[@Highice007]

I got strong swamp castle vibes. Your accent was bang on. I'm sure the kings son will do fine in battle, a great warrior, so long as he doesn't take an arrow to the eye.

[@icecreamtonk786]

“Chancy the chancellor” makes total sense.

[@steelgoodwin]

Watching this channel reminds me of the old Atkinson show Blackadder, Rowan and Tony again, Blackadder and Baldrick.

[@math3000]

2:28 "Huuuugggeee... ambition" That joke was surely underappreciated

[@VaeVictisXIII]

All hail the King!

[@SquireComedy]

Do it!

[@KubernetePirata]

Ah, the very reason why I rush for primogeniture before I die every time in CK 2.

[@TallFoxNation]

"taste very bitter" final last words

[@warblerblue]

Right Good job mate!! Thanks!

[@SquireComedy]

Thanks!

[@brendan9868]

A bastard son named Henry wearing a green shirt with a red scarf bringing deliverance to a kingdom, now where could I possibly know that from?

[@richardhockey8442]

When I told them I was going to build a castle in the middle of a swamp they told me I was mad, but I built it anyway - and it fell down. So I rebuilt it and that one fell down as well, and I rebuilt it again.. Someday son, all of this foetid swamp will be yours

[@ConnanTheCivilized]

That’s such a funny comment that I could just siiiing 🎶!

[@ojisanhoward8940]

Starts at 5:35 Something abour his clucking makes me wanna say...GO ON HIT THAT LIKE BUTTON! IT'S THE ONLY CURE FOR DYSENTERY!

[@welsh8982]

Utterly spiffing when the true gentleman of britain uploads a video.

[@mitchfromtheuk]

This is the tutorial for CK3 I needed before I bought the game

[@semperliberi]

Brilliant

[@themayhemera3046]

you guys are just absolutely fantastic

[@thegregitto]

"I don't understand it..." "Well sir, first you need to spot the animal...then close in and spear it from behind." "No, no, my gigantic friend, how do I ensure I have a son?" "Oh...well...in principle your grace it's very much the same..."

[@NorwegianSedevacantist]

Ahhh England in the medieval ages, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the children are playing in the town square. What a lovely time to be alive. OH NO! I’m dying of dysentery, and we are being raided by Vikings, and I’m starving because I’m a lowly Saxon farmer. What an awful time to be alive

[@disrespecc9678]

Has man gone Oversimplified mode?

[@NorwegianSedevacantist]

yes

[@fallenswan1670]

I once watched from Extra History (Extra Credits) series about 100 years war. I came to conclusion, that it was just like Crusader Kings II!!

[@kens8963]

Great job fellows! Thoroughly enjoyed the satire.

[@SquireComedy]

Cheers Ken!

[@kingace2573]

Can't wait for Tuesday😤😭😭😭😭😭

[@CanadianBias]

The only KZbinr that I don’t skip ads for

[@umeshsonkar4177]

Congrats in advance for 400k

[@SquireComedy]

Thanks matey!

[@umeshsonkar4177]

@@SquireComedy welcome sir

[@zechariahtlee]

These sponsorship ads are so entertaining! I can't wait for the next upload.

[@Andy-iq6rk]

You know I thought Henry was a KCD joke but figured probably just coincidence until the line "... Kingdom gets it's deliverance."

[@Belleplainer]

When I watch videos like this, it makes me think I'm not playing CK3 the right way.

[@arkad6329]

9:47 " Big bulky Wal-eh-t yeh" OMG I'm dying!

[@Morris2906]

Great video

[@marcusmurray3273]

Ah yes spectacular, can't wait for Crusader Kings

[@SquireComedy]

Neither can we!

[@SemicolonExpected]

The crussader son despite squawking like a chicken wouldve made a decent second choice lmao. This is why you keep the spare around in case the heir dies of dystentery

[@Elyseon]

"Well Your Grace, Sir, in principle it's the same thing."

[@thedamnyankee1]

How does this only have 20K views?!

[@whiskysmith9014]

Henry's come to see us!

[@justanotherviewer52]

Thanks guys. Fun as always.

[@SquireComedy]

Cheers dude!

[@shaizo1007]

I watched every single squire war thunder video I need more (one sitting to)

[@onecertainesquire486]

Squire, don’t worry, once I establish an empire covering the North Sea, marrying your Sister and becoming her lover will be fine.

[@ICHBinCOOLERalsJeman]

So he is not only a genius, but also extrodinarily humble

[@JessWLStuart]

YAY! New video! Awesome as usual!

[@simplymarshal1167]

ck3 is just ck2 but with a makeover

[@slartybartfarst55]

Excellent! What a bunch of Canuts!

[@kikidevine694]

Guys stop being so good. I have clients to see and chores to do

[@atharvasapre8578]

Great video sire. Love it as always ❤️

[@KCCOmug]

Long live the Queen. May she rule well!

[@LeSpeedyHatGal]

Isn't this just a documentary on the middle ages?

[@cugelchannel4733]

"Ah, well. He was never really fit to be King. Should have started in Ireland." I fell off my chair with that one.

[@tyrant-den884]

Love a happy ending.

[@Calbeck]

"Dysentery: it runs in the family"

[@rayceeya8659]

If monarchies were this dysfunctional I have to wonder how it was the primary form of government for centuries.

[@NapoleonBonaparte5]

They weren't always like this as long as the king had male children, if not the nobility would get angsty over who would inherit the crown, but at the end it would be one of the nobility who would rule, a circle which the ruling class didn't mind.

[@weldonwin]

Mostly having big armies to stab anyone who might say monarchy might be a bad idea

[@tomaszzalewski4541]

"BRA! remember to like the video. BRA! Hit that thumbs up it really helps. BRA! Go on do it I'm watching" - great video 10/10, you had me at "it really helps" :)

[@SquireComedy]

haha! Thanks mate!

[@AresVC14]

Nails to robber with the wallet ‘Roight there ya go!’ 😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@edward.m.r4390]

4:57 my family when the relatives arrive at the house in Norfolk after a 4 hour drive from wales

[@dreliq981]

That officer just save him and at the same time gave him an ad

[@aewhatever]

Funny a Huggies commercial came on just as he was talking about the kids being born

[@Matt-ls1ng]

he returns the grand lord is back