5 Harsh Truths about Decluttering - What NO ONE talks about, but you need to know!

[@AtoZenLife]

What harsh truths have YOU learned about decluttering? Comment below and let us know and grab your FREE 10-page decluttering checklist here ►📋 atozenlife.com/free-declutter-checklist (If you don't see it, refresh the page and it should pop up!)

[@ArtingFromScratch]

I've been through a very similar past and had all the sentimental items stolen... I wish I could talk to you about all of the emotional processing it took to let go. I am definitely stuck and do not know where to go from here

[@emilianodiaz-page4233]

When someone guilt trips you about not wanting to take any of their stuff ever that they are trying to get rid of( aka my mom) that is a them problem not a you problem.

[@lindahaines9299]

Not so fast… they change (kids) every 10 years. I’m 77 and know. And remember grands think differently. It’s not popular now, but ‘trends’ change.

[@alexandrapeguerogarcia1838]

I loved this video! It was super helpful and motivating to help me declutter. By the way I love that book: “The 12 Week Year”. For years I have tried to declutter my apartment which is a one bedroom and very small. I get mad at myself for not having finished this task of decluttering but I get overwhelmed. Do you have any suggestions? I start decluttering and I have thrown out big bags of trash but I never seem to finish and I stop. Also where do you recommend I sell the things that are in good conditions like clothing, shoes, and books in order for me to make money out of it? Thank you in advance for your help! I love your channel and content! Keep up the great work!

[@allnargles]

That charities sell their overstock to the global south and clothes end in their water bodies. See what’s happening in Ghana.

[@bumblebee444xyz4]

My Adult kid actually got pissed and said “ My house isn’t a graveyard for your stuff’ !

[@k9rescuer934]

Wow!

[@maryharrison5883]

Before I get rid of some of my things, I will ask my kids if they can use it, but don't take it just because I offered it.

[@purpledonkeylover9988]

Wow!!

[@jandkhilbert]

Neither is your money- sounds harsh reading that. 😢

[@lisacrews3060]

@@jandkhilbert I assume it wasn't the first time the parent tried to get their child to take things. Usually adult children have nicely repeated over and over again for YEARS variations of "No, thank you." and were criticized by their parents for it. After YEARS of not being able to hear the soft answer, they get a harsh answer because they earned it. My 80 year old mother-in-law still can't believe no one wants her great-granny's harmonica. Every family member has said, "No, thank you." She still keeps asking everyone. It's been decades of her being told no very kindly.

[@maryfields1382]

I was a "one day I'll need this" hoarder. I wish I had saved the magazine article I read about decluttering, where the first thing the author wrote was "Forgive yourself. You spent money on these things with good intentions, and now you're regretting it and beating yourself up about all the money and time you spent on this stuff. Forgive yourself." That was cathartic for me.

[@RuffLifee]

Thank You for saying that

[@ReychelH]

Tnabk you for FHAs video . I appreciate that you discuss the emotional side of clutter. I’m also dealing with loss; I can’t relay to your story. Can you please do a video, about creating systems?

[@cc1k435]

I like that this story contains something you wish you had kept. 😂😮

[@maryfields1382]

@ I know, right?! Of all the stuff I kept and didn't need, that's the one thing I should have saved!!

[@mookie7688]

Understanding the "sunk cost" principle was so helpful for me in getting rid of stuff. The money you've spent is gone. Wasting more time and money isn't going to bring it back.

[@dawnsullivan6794]

One harsh truth I’ve learned is that none of my adult kids want my ‘stuff’ and that’s ok. It has made it a whole lot easier for me to let go of so much.

[@AtoZenLife]

I’m glad you were able to make peace with that and let go, Dawn! 🙏❤️

[@Volundur9567]

Family can be great guilt-trippers about this. I learned to just shut up, take all the stuff and turn around and get rid of it.

[@anitam569]

To be honest, we don't want much of what our mothers have saved "from our childhood" for us. We are much different people than we were 30 years ago and no longer want or care about those items. I'll take a few heirloom items (Eg glass dishes) that my kids might want from my parents or grandparents. And I'll take those few photos that will fit into genealogy records, showing great grandparents etc. Otherwise, I wish they would throw things away.

[@joni1]

Me too! It is ok. It's their lives.

[@leeshgill]

I wish you were my mother-in-law, lol. She has a house full of stuff for her grown adults and their children, but we won't want 95% of it. We already have enough of our own stuff and I'm a minimalist, so it's tough.

[@Someone-vn9ce]

Sometimes old or vintage things are worth a lot, so you need to check on that before just getting rid of them. My late husband had a huge collection of vintage comics, many of them from when he was a child or teenager, and many from his late grandfather who had been collecting them since he was a child; all in sleeves in special storage boxes. He had a ton of boxes. They took up an entire closet. He had always said how valuable they were, but I never really thought that much about them except that it annoyed me that he had so many, and I felt robbed of the use of a closet. I seriously thought about just tossing them but instead decided to see if a comic bookstore wanted them. They were shocked and were incredibly honest. They said they couldn't afford to buy them. They put me in touch with a vintage comic seller who sold them for me on commission. I made a small fortune, enough to pay off my house, remodel my house and pay off my daughter's college loans with a good chunk left over. I had no idea how valuable they were and luckily the comic store was incredibly honest. They could have offered me a hundred bucks and I would have accepted it and not thought much about it.

[@annabelles1622]

Wow! That’s amazing! Good for you! 👏👏❤

[@alisonsmith8653]

Your example is VERY RARE. Most of the junk people collect is not worth anything.

[@SmashMaster]

Wow ❤

[@DavidLee-yu7yz]

@@scottjet5308 My thought exactly

[@Grimmlocked]

@@alisonsmith8653 luckily it takes 2 minutes to check.

[@AndNowIWrite]

In 2019 my husband and I sold everything we owned to retire abroad. My adult children really just wanted my books. I put all my photos on sd cards. Took pictures of my photo albums and old letters. And I left my photo albums and sentimental things with my oldest child. What worked for me was placing everything that had a special meaning in an extra bedroom months before we left. I'd visit that bedroom and if I'd forgotten about an item it got moved from the " I have to have this" list. I brought 16 pieces of luggage with me, filled with books, my writing journals, my jewelry, and a couple small things that meant something. I now live in a van and travel around Europe. Ive been to so many places. I dont spend my days cleaning or thinking about home ownership responsibilities. I look at my photos and old letters on my devices. I love my van life and I never thought would not have a house, but what an adventure I'm living!

[@ritabutler1951]

I like what "The Minimalists" say. "Love people, use things. Because the opposite never works."

[@gerlinde_gerlinde]

Well it seems to work quite well for the owners of Apple, Amazon and Wallmart, amongst others. And since most of us buy their products...

[@SmileyBlue69]

​@fru_fraskogen Odd comment based on what you were replying to. Maybe you are a troll. We need to declutter trolls.

[@isabelleskiss]

That's one reason why I don't like minimalists very much: there's so often this moralistic undertone to their statements. I don't love my stuff, but I like it a lot, am grateful for it and have an emotional attachment to it...which is completely human and normal.

[@francescachecchin6191]

Things are part of the mineral world "plasmato" by humans... we can dispose of things as we want and we have to be grateful for them and respect them... it is another form of life... the one we have been before our birth and that we will be after our death... not our enemy.

[@Ysally13]

​@@isabelleskissNo one forces you to declutter. But if you're feeling overwhelmed by your stuff and can almost bury yourself in it, these are just great tips you can do.

[@shereehardrath3486]

Here's one I like: My parents aren't inside the things they left behind. Love your videos and absolutely love your home. Best Wishes

[@AtoZenLife]

Yes, this was life-changing for me as well! I also talked about that in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/h3zag2ycrJqkhJIsi=jenQZHfzZpeUFUpf

[@blujeans9462]

Actually, I disagree. True, they are not in the item, but their love is. When they bought that item with the little money that they had it gave them joy. It gave them joy when they picked the perfect place for it - and it continued to give them joy if they never took it down. When I decided to keep an item that my parents owned, their joy remains - as does the memory of the house it was displayed in and the good times we had there. Of course, I did not keep everything (or even most) that they owned - I only have so much room - but those items that I did, will continue to spark joy every time I see it - because it made them happy. Once I am gone, the next generation will not get the same joy because it will not mean anything, since the connection has been broken. So they can throw it away, and that's ok - but I won't.

[@kucylja]

@@blujeans9462 i am 100% with you on this one, you formulated it so well!

[@Jacqueline_Thijsen]

I cherish a screwdriver my father used to put computers together (in the long ago, before times when it was cheaper to put your computer together from parts). I work in IT now mainly thanks to what he taught me. I use that screwdriver all the time. It's just a screwdriver. But to me it represents what my dad did for me.

[@Woeschhuesli]

@@blujeans9462 there also may well be true family history in some items, pictures, documents!

[@beths8998]

When I started decluttering and trying to downsize my things, I attempted to sell it on Facebook Marketplace to make some extra cash. I decided very quickly between the people messaging me for no reason, people that stood me up, and the scammers it simply was not worth the frustration and anxiety it spiked in me. In the end I just donated my things. They were out of my house and hopefully into another loving home.

[@CanadianMomVibes]

Me too

[@coolhandrobyn]

The FB messenger alert still spikes my cortisol when I hear it. It’s not worth it. If you’re in a bigger size city it’s somehow even worse than in a small town. People are on there are completely unhinged.

[@Jennifer-nz2ss]

I will never go on facebook-EVER!

[@kristenglenn7026]

I have a rule that if my items haven’t sold in 1-2 weeks I donate them & take them off as a listing!

[@winterfoxx6363]

I have switched from marketplace to buy nothing/trash nothing/gift groups in my community. It’s nice when I just put it on my porch then someone grabs it in their own time, for free. Somewhat less convenient than a bulk donation, it it’s easier on me mentally. Sometimes no one wants the item. I’ll post it twice. Could be a waste of time. Knowing no one wants it could also help me to throw it away. Anyway I hear ya on marketplace. I was selling a nice brand new pair of shoes for dirt cheap and still got low balled, ghosted. People are wild!

[@Jubilee33382]

I am 73, my husband is 75. Last Autumn we decided to downsize from a three storey house to a bungalow. In advance I ruthlessly decluttered furniture and items inherited from my mother and grandmother. I also decluttered my own collections of pottery and art. Some went to auction, some to charity shops and some I left out on the pavement with a FREE sign. I photographed a few sentimental things. I only regret selling one item, and my original instinct was to keep it, go with your gut! PS we decided to stay in the house, and having decluttered, we found we could organise the rooms to better advantage.

[@eoysny7781]

Oh, I have a similar story, but I had to move. Sadly, I am not happy.

[@poodlegirl55]

When my daughters got their first homes I let them take things from my house that they wanted. I'm glad I did because now that I am older and downsizing they are older and have plenty of stuff. I gave it to them when they needed it and appreciated it even though it was hard at the time. I told myself I can visit my stuff.

[@debbieolin8153]

FIL did the same believing it was always in a good place that could be visited. Besides, if it was tasteful when purchased, it is still tasteful after years....I am doing the same with my kids as they may as well enjoy it now rather when I am gone.

[@annai157]

7:02 You have a good point there - no one wants to pay for your stuff what you thought it was worth. BUT - somebody does want your stuff. When my Mom (a packrat, for sure) passed away, we had to get rid of a lot of things quickly because of our own work obligations. We tried to sell a few things - got almost nothing for them, even things we knew would appraise quite well. I discovered that the most enjoyable thing was to GIVE them away. We put a couple of large tables out in the yard, with big signs announcing "FREE!" - people flocked in - and truly showed their joy at receiving great "gifts." One lady took Mom's bedding to a local women's shelter - that felt really good. If things didn't go during the day - we left them out overnight in good weather - and every last item disappeared. Giving things away is so much more enjoyable (and faster) than trying to find a buyer for every item.

[@SmileyBlue69]

Couldn't agree more. Going through the same and have come to the same conclusion. Let it go and move on. Far better feeling than sorting out selling the stuff. Just let it go. I'm far from high earning but there comes a point where you time and effort does not make sense for the little you receive back. Nope ... let it go. Move on.

[@lizzylou-q6f]

Yep needed to clear my dads home after he decided to live in aged care. We advertised his 70's furniture on market place an other places free and the were happily claimed by families who needed them. Towels and blankets went to animal shelters. Same with other little treasures. We have sold some things like a near new washing machine and fridge.

[@janeellis4926]

I did the same thing. Sold some items for really cheap and also let people take things for free.

[@kit.e6864]

i agree, these days not everyone has money to buy new so they may want your stuff. giving it away is sometimes the best because even thrift stores upcharge on things they think are worth anything

[@LivElysson5]

I do the same. I constantly declutter a little bit at a time and then just always put a box in front of the building. Almost everything is gone after about an hour. (I live in Germany in a town which has an university and students usually are very glad to get some stuff for free and are especially interested in re-using)

[@Al_Prazolam]

Look at the thousands of people who tragically just lost all their material possessions in the the LA fires. Yet many of those you see interviewed will say things like "it's just stuff," and "we're alive, that's what's important." My heart breaks for what these people are going through right now, but it's an important takeaway that in the end our stuff doesn't matter (as much as we think it does). We can and will be ok without it. God bless and thank you for the video.

[@Volundur9567]

They're also often insanely wealthy, so they know they can just buy more stuff.

[@PinkieJoJo]

@@Volundur9567how about in Helene? They weren’t. They were poor. Yet they still said the same thing many times.

[@SS-rv1mb]

And with our ability to digitize memories, we can truly carry this message. It's no longer a single photo album that holds the family archive - with so many online photo repositories or external hard drives, we can keep our most cherished photos, journals, pics of stuff, etc. with us at all times. It's a game changer.

[@AtoZenLife]

@Volundur9567 rich and poor alike have been impacted by this tragedy! And the “they can just buy more stuff” mindset is toxic for a number of reasons.

[@AtoZenLife]

I know, it’s a healthy mindset not to be attached to stuff…but I was SOBBING when I saw an interview with the couple who lost their Bunny Museum. 🐰 ❤️‍🩹 😢 Here’s an article on it: www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2025-01-09/bunny-museum-altadena-eaton-fire-rebuild

[@LynsAlteredArts]

I have a relative who is a hoarder and very occasionally she will bring something out and ask me if I want it. I have learned to take anything she’s willing to get rid of because otherwise she won’t get rid of it. I just donate or throw it away, whatever is appropriate for the item. At least it will be out of her house and she will never know what I did with it.

[@evaperry8630]

I've done the same thing with stuff my mom would just bring to my house without asking if I even wanted it LOL!

[@poodlegirl55]

My aunt offered me a magazine she had saved for 25 years with an actress on the cover that looked like me. I asked her why she saved it so long and she said "well you were never on a magazine cover."

[@LynsAlteredArts]

@@poodlegirl55 now I want to know what actress you look like?

[@poodlegirl55]

@LynsAlteredArts Meryl Streep . Now I'm 70 and still hear it.

[@Ninjanimegamer]

I had been doing that with my mom who also hoards. However, I noticed it opened up space for her to buy more stuff. I stopped taking her things, because it was enabling her to collect more.

[@Joe-Przybranowski]

I wish my grandmother hadn't 'de-cluttered' while I was away in the army, discarding almost everything I ever owned before the age of 19. Im 54 and I still miss some of that stuff.

[@mnw5240]

A rule of decluttering is that you should only do it for your own things, not other’s without their permission. Sorry you had that happen to you.

[@gypsywoman9140]

​@mnw5240 True! Even if you're the parent of a young one. I learned the hard way when my daughter was around 2-3 years old. Was on a decluttering purge and there were some toys she hadn't even touched in months. So I donated them thinking "She's a toddler; she won't even notice!" Within two weeks she was asking "Where did [insert toy here] go??" I felt so awful. So now I try to involve her, even if it's just me setting aside piles she doesn't necessarily want to go through. She doesn't enjoy the process, but she feels good about it afterwards and is glad that nothing was donated without her consent.

[@BasicAngel2266]

That is sad. My dad threw out a few items belonging to my mum and to me without asking us - we were both rather upset about it, eg 'that was the only photo I had of so-and-so', and mum missed her old shorthand book that I had to source her a second hand copy!

[@lemonyfab]

Just sorted out old gold and jewellery! Took to weigh in for scrap and received £6600! Amazed and grateful 🙏

[@Haberdashery22]

Wow - you are so lucky!

[@amers50]

I learned that decluttering is a continuous process that needs upkeep and care. I needed to fall in love with the process of decluttering and minimizing inflow so I could fully enjoy the benefits of saying goodbye to stuff (just like you said!). I truly feel like a recovering (consumer) addict... I gave up coffee, alcohol and overconsumption and I often get an odd response from people. There is a common misconception that joy and fulfillment come from MORE and abstinence is depressing. This could not be further from the truth. Thanks so much for this video!!!

[@Crystal.Calvin]

6:36 preach !!!!!! I too have gone through sudden loss in my family and actually am now the last living family member on my father's side. I have to struggled with guilt for getting rid of my lost family member's belongs many times, but I am always able to come back around to the reality that I did NOT ask for this, did NOT expect it to be all on me, and do NOT need to set aside my own home preferences to accommodate what I have tragically inherited.

[@lissobczak7191]

I teared up for you, and me, and all of us. Getting out of this mindset is really hard

[@Crystal.Calvin]

@lissobczak7191 it certainly is. The guilt, judgement and pressure that we put on each other and on ourselves during time of grieving can create tension too. I hope that people learn to realize that a lost loved one is not contained in an object, but in the memories we have of them.

[@Jubilee33382]

Me too, I photographed items that I sold, or gave away. That way I have the family memory, but not the clutter.

[@itsmeLori]

I joined my neighborhood “buy nothing” group and I post things there that are too nice to throw away, before I donate them. The vast majority of the time someone needs it, and it’s nice to know I helped a neighbor and gave them something they actually wanted. I’ve also met some nice neighbors in the process. It’s worth helping someone over the pennies I’d get for the hassle of selling. Highly recommend

[@doveheart92]

LOOOVE that group!

[@Dbb277-2]

@@doveheart92 is that an app or something?

[@anefs4069]

I have the same experience!

[@telecomgear]

Nice.

[@debbieolin8153]

In Houston it was Free cycle!

[@SamuelCordner]

Thank you! "No one wants your stuff" My parents just passed away and I am left with sorting through my parents belongings. It is so hard, but others keep trying to get me to sell all of the things rather than just donating/trashing them. Yes a comic book collection might be worth money, and thousands of old tools, but I do not need the added stress of not only parting with my parents things, but haggling with strangers and seeing a house full of stuff only go piece by piece instead of truck load by truck load. I am still on the journey and thank you for making my resolve to get it done stronger.

[@BarbaraThorndyke]

Grieving takes a heavy toll on the mind and body. Even if you would have usually had the fortitude to handle selling all those things before, you're not in the best shape to do it now.

[@chrissy24-7]

I'm dealing with the same process... Huge hug

[@TollerLuv1]

Going through this process was my reality check. The return on the stuff that ended up selling was minimal, and we ended up giving so much away just to get it out of the house. I am far less "precious" about my own things now. People don't want my things, just as I don't want theirs!

[@earthstar7534]

My parents died when I was 22, I needed the money selling their stuff would provide for me. It took almost 5 years to get through it all, but I made a lot of money and I was able to maintain their mortgage with that money until I could decide what I wanted to do with their house. It was a hassle, yes. It was the last leg up my parents ever gave me and I'm eternally greatful. I would much rather have them alive, but I am glad I didn't squander the last bit they could really do for me because I was deep in grief and angry at the drunk who hit them.

[@VelveteenRabbit77]

Hire an estate sale company to sell it. I could never have run an estate sale myself either would have been too upsetting.

[@jayalexander3356]

I quickly found out what I really value when my house was burglarized. I was hysterical until I located my cats hiding in the house. I was so scared they were taken or harmed in some way I didn't even think about what had been stolen. Occasionally I'll think, "oh yeah, that necklace was stolen" but I have no emotion about it.

[@bahba9247]

I'm glad your fur babies were safe. ❤

[@seltzermint5]

I know that feeling. So glad your pets were ok! I lost my home and possessions in a severe tornado and was just so happy when my dog was found with minor injuries and lived for many more years.

[@jillquinn882]

For the flip side of feeling sentimental about things, I'll just mention my mom's story. Her mother (my grandmother) was emotionally abusive and obsessed with status and appearance. My mom still inherited some of her mother's "dustcatchers" (Mom's word, not mine) and a lot went straight to the donation box. My mom is definitely not a minimalist, but she wasn't about to hold on to stuff that didn't have good memories for her. Not every grandma with a bell collection was a saint. Just something to think about. . .

[@claires2184]

So true!

[@Jennifer-nz2ss]

@@jillquinn882 mine as well. Very abusive. I didn't go to my house. My cousin did it for me! I kept nothing

[@laurenoehme5751]

love this

[@lauragood8564]

Even if you are very close to someone I’ve found it’s best to only keep a couple items. I decided when my dad passed away that I wanted to keep memories because stuff is just stuff. He doesn’t live on in those items-he lives on through me.

[@user-qp6lj6gu7s]

@@lauragood8564 This is a great attitude to have, but I think a lot of people have attachment issues and feel like their parents aren't with them emotionally or live on through them, so they have to cling to items.

[@Auntemem]

One of the most loving things I can do for me and my children is to clear the clutter and live light.

[@Fairyfink]

'No-one wants your stuff'. That's what I needed to hear to know i don't want it either!

[@clarissaywy]

For me its not entirely true. I've sold a lot of things I didn't want, from clothes, tumblers, skin care etc. You'll be surprised when you try selling it online. Some people are looking for good deals at below retail price or are looking to thrift pieces.

[@JoaoPedro-w5z2z]

I agree 100% with Clarissa, in the end it all depends on what kind of items people have. I mean, there is stuff that other people may be interested in buying from others, like rare collectors items or something like that.

[@bevanbuckwheatshea5520]

Agree. Unless its something that they can make money out off.

[@ykook7000]

Nope no one wants your stuff If you want to waste your time trying to sell things that's on you

[@JoaoPedro-w5z2z]

​@ykook7000 Ok, i will declutter my Picasso paintings, they are occupying a lot of space on the walls, probably send them to the trash since nobody wants them 😁... Unfortunetly i don't have any 😂

[@jhouse9113]

Oh my GOD, thank you for sharing the definition of the endowment effect. This is precisely what has happened in my family for generations. I was the one left to try and sell and discard about three generations worth of stuff. I had been told my whole life how valuable it was, exactly as you describe. Guess what? I ended up barely being able to GIVE it away. This was such an important lesson and now I lead a life with far less material items weighing me down. Amen to everything you said in this video, sister!

[@AtoZenLife]

So glad you were able to overcome the generational trauma and let go! 🙏❤️

[@telecomgear]

Rampant decluttering and minimazation has an emotional state to it too. When my wife feels overwhelmed, she starts to minimize the stuff in the house.(i think its a control thing). I know this because its stuff that we use and I end up buying it all again. If I'm quick and i see the stuff in a box ready for the trash or Goodwill, I'll grab it, put it up in the attic and retrive it later when needed. It's maddening.

[@er6730]

Yes, my aunt does this. "I haven't used this in 6 months! Out!" But we live in Canada, and sure, you haven't worn that bulky sweater in spring or summer, but you'll want it in the winter! Or buying Easter decorations and then getting upset and getting rid of it in October. 🤦‍♀️

[@usflin]

That is rare compared to the number of people who hoard and think it's normal to hoard. Honestly without seeing your home and what stuff you actually use, it's impossible to tell if you're the hoarder in your household.

[@tammyb6497]

A few years ago I read The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning and it totally changed my mindset about keeping things. It made me realize that my adult boys don’t want our stuff when we’re gone and we have conversations about it often and especially when we are decluttering something. It also came in very handy while we were helping my mom with a move to a retirement residence last year. My dad was a keeper of things and after he passed away, we spent a long time cleaning out his stuff. It was a difficult process but, in the end, most of the things we got rid of are not missed. 🇨🇦

[@dallassukerkin6878]

A very important thing to learn is that just because something cost a lot when new doesn't mean that it is now worth a lot. That truth that no one wants your old stuff takes some swallowing. I have been stalled on clearing out my home for a decade since my wife passed. She collected a lot of things and I know that some of them had quite the price tag so that has been one of the feet on the brakes of my making progress in decluttering. How can I just throw or give away something without attempting to recover some of it's financial value? But I think I have finally reached the point where I realise that not clearing out all these things is what is keeping me stuck in place and, seriously, is in some part stopping the grieving process from concluding.

[@Lulu-oi9ue]

I like the sweet spot between minimal and hoarding. I have the intention of adding homely touches with some artwork, lamps and good quality furniture so I can add personality to my space. Feels great to donate and throw out stuff and really invest in vintage pieces that get used. I live in a tiny space so that helps a lot.

[@karsaanita]

I don't think minimalism excludes having things that make your space more comfortable for you. To me, it's about not storing the items that don't contribute to my life. I got rid of a bunch of cake trays because I never bake anymore but I kept my rice cooker. Could I live without it? Sure. Do I use it all the time saving a bunch of time on meal prep? Absolutely.

[@olgavernor280]

I think that’s the best Trying to do the same myself

[@DrVenture42]

Clearing my dad’s house was how I learned these lessons. A charity asked me to send pictures before they would come get furniture. They only accepted two of the six items. Bowling trophies? Beer mug collection? Sorry dad.. worthless. I filled dumpster FOUR times and still had a storage unit for the “good” stuff. Three years later I see it now as junk. Instead of selling, I’m trying to get rid of stuff without paying. Oh.. if one more person tells me what I can do to turn junk into cash I’m going to take hostages. If it’s that easy YOU do it and I’ll pay YOU! Oh no no not me, I’m just giving advice. 🤬 Okay sorry I’m just venting now. Good video. Good advice. I hope others learn from you instead of learning the way I did.

[@twiglet2214]

@@DrVenture42 Sell it and turn junk in to cash,definitely !

[@quixotiq]

this! As someone who has moved a lot, it was a tough lesson but the cost of keeping it all is so not worth it. So, over time, I'm getting much better at a) jettisoning useless stuff when I need to and b) asking myself serious questions about things BEFORE I buy them in the first place :-)

[@quixotiq]

@@twiglet2214 Mostly no one needs or truly wants it, which is sorta the point.

[@twiglet2214]

@quixotiq Yes we're doing the same !

[@greynightingale]

I'm 26 and lost my entire family before I turned 18. Your story is really warming for me, especially when I saw they were also bikers. Everything of my mom's that I donated, I donated because she loved thrifting, and I knew her items would spark joy in someone, but it wasn't me.

[@AtoZenLife]

I’m so sorry for your loss, but I’m glad you were able to heal and let go 🙏❤️

[@Tennkpt]

Awww how sweet.

[@lolasmom116]

I am so sorry you lost your family at such a young age. God Bless and keep you

[@esferundito]

hi! I'm from Brazil... and I came across your video and at 0:45, I understand your feeling ... I'm very sorry for you loss... cause, me too ... I lost my family (my brother, my mother and my dog) on 2014 and 2019... Since then, our house is now my house... Until 2020, 6 years after my brother left, their bedrooms were kind of memorials for them, cause it was very difficult to touch or even to move their things from one place to another.. it hurts too much... When I hear that you lost your beloved ones... I feel a connection... and the comments here, very helpful ! Overcome the grief and loss, re start our life, give it new purpose... it's not easy.. it's kind of an eternal fight... Thank you!!

[@TheRozylass]

Anyone who says, "dropped off as if it were nothing," has never cleaned out a home after someone dies. There is no way to keep everything! When I see things like that I think, "Oh, someone's grandma died." Or similar. And think that now many people will be able to enjoy a pretty trinket, or fabric, or kitchen tool or whatever. Sharing the "wealth" is surely better than hoarding and living with clutter.

[@AtoZenLife]

💯👏

[@lauriekerze3461]

In the thick of that now, so over burdening.

[@gg_ingy]

Here where i live in Sweden, family goes into the house of the deceased, picks the stuff they want to keep, and then they call 2nd hand store owners who go to a "death home" to pick up the rest. The amount of 1700/1800/1900 century furniture you can buy here is crazy, and the quality is still so good. It's deffo not "nothing", because i often wonder about my furniture who owned it before, who made it etc. It has character.

[@bloregurl]

Must be better furniture than IKEA stuff for sure​@@gg_ingy

[@jefesalsero]

Take my junk, please take it!

[@achtungschmetterling120]

Thanks for number 4. Everyone always says to sell or donate the stuff you want to get rid of, like you can somehow avoid ever actually throwing things into the garbage. But indeed the truth is that no one wants or needs your old stuff and sometimes you just have to toss things, and not feel guilty about it. I try to use the guilt feelings of producing garbage from decluttering to remind myself to only buy new things that I actually need so as to avoid unnecessary garbage in the future.

[@recentisland1513]

I work a a hospital and we have so much non recyclable waste every single day .. Almost all businesses , corporations,companies etc generate more waste in a day than a person can generate in a month or more so , though I recycle what I can , I refuse to feel guilty of throwing crap into the garbage collection

[@achtungschmetterling120]

@@recentisland1513 Good point.

[@capimages]

@@recentisland1513 yes! I worked at Target for years. They throw out an insane amount every day from just one store. Everything comes wrapped in styrofoam and plastic- only the cardboard box is baled for recycle. Tons of styrofoam and plastic are thrown away, every little housewares thing is wrapped in it. Whenever someone returns a piece of furniture or baby stroller, it goes straight to the garbage- liability reasons. Now times that by the thousands of stores…

[@eliv.7062]

Girl, I'm in your shoes. Like you, both parents, grandparents and else are gone but an important part of their stuff still remains, making it a tough, endless decision war. Shall I keep this or let it go? And if so, where to? How? This is probably the first time I hear someone talking openly about the pain of decluttering one's inheritance. Kudos to you for your hard work. I get you and I know what it feels like to be there.

[@TheGrownUpMillennial]

My mom has gone through a huge decluttering journey. Some lessons she learned and shared: 1) I'm tired of not using my beautiful things simply because they are beautiful. 2) My kids not wanting some of my items doesn't mean they're rejecting my love or our family. They may feel no connection to the family member they never met, have limitations on storage, or don't have any memories to the items since I kept them sealed up for so long. 3) It's a beautiful thing to give other people the opportunity to enjoy my wonderful items.

[@larrythigpen3373]

I live in Southern California. I had to evacuate, and was forced to go through all my stuff. Now I see what is really important to me, and what is just junk. I will be getting rid of a bunch of junk.

[@oneheart19]

I went through a similar situation ( a serious flood) and boy was it an eye opener! It feels great to let it all go and not worry about all the "junk".

[@DebbieGalbraith-l8r]

Oh boy! Having so much fun listening to and relating to what you are saying.....I've learned these things too. I am related to someone who is having "letting go" of the stuff issues and it is heartbreaking to see them hang on to the point where they are emotionally debilitated. I have "let go". It feels at first like you are betraying your dead relatives in some way, but letting go of the "stuff" is actually freeeing and allows you to enjoy the memories from a different perspective.

[@BlueIdiotPie]

I am *not* a minimalist person and I am prone to collecting things, both quoteunquote garbage and genuine collections. But having spent the past few years working in a tea room and getting so many donations of china that people are getting rid of and their kids don't want that we have to turn them away, and having my dad pass away and needing to clean out all of his stuff I've come to really respect and see the value in the clutter free mindset and I think everyone needs to watch videos like this at least once a year to remember these things

[@michellematthews671]

I remember realizing that I didn't like feeling obligated to keep any and all things that had been from my late grandma. I kept the ones that were actually special to me and then donated the rest.

[@terencew3840]

decluttering never ends. what sparks joy to you right now may not do the same the following year.

[@zenleeparadise]

I don't understand why people think the "spark joy" thing is good advice. I have struggled with depression my entire adult life, and I've gotten rid of so many things because they "didn't spark joy", and you know why they didn't? Because nothing did. This is a terrible attitude to have while going through your stuff.

[@MeowyMcMeowface]

My problem is things that spark nostalgia. :\

[@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

​@@zenleeparadise Perfectly understandable. There's of course other metrics to judge items by (and was referenced a little in this video). I don't struggle with depression and am generally a cheery person but I still wouldn't use "joy" as a measuring system 😅. Is it valuable to me? Have I used it recently? How much space does it take up? And, perhaps the biggest one I say to myself, "Be honesr, do you *really* think you will use this item after you've had it so long?" I think these questions have been a lot more useful for me to get rid of stuff. Oh, and also I'm a renter so when you're forced to pack stuff every few years and deal with the exahustion of that process, it helps with being mindful on what you bring in and getting rid of things. "Joy" doesn't even enter the equation 😂

[@ubernerrd]

That's very true. Some how I keep finding things to get rid of.

[@sinkintostillness]

Definitely! It's also the process of building decluttering "muscles" over time, it gets easier to let go as you quickly see the "worth" (not necessarily monetary) items play in your life and it gets easier to go through sentimental stuff too.

[@juneclements2111]

Thank you! People need to hear that no one wants their stuff. Once you make a purchase an objects worth is only what someone is willing to pay for it, which is practically nothing for most things. Your possessions do not make you rich.

[@gerlinde_gerlinde]

Absolutely agree. We must stop bringing in new stuff, otherwise we will never find the peace of a simple home and life.

[@rossetti4444]

When I moved the last time..I really made an effort. I was thinking about wasted money, time, or whatever, but here I am again. I blame the "new stuff" hah.

[@cc83jc85]

As a volunteer in an Op Shop (they are called that here in Australia)- we see SO MUCH stuff that people throw out, especially once someone dies! Clearing mum's house 5 years ago- also taught me NOT to buy 'stuff" that we don't need..or when we go overseas- no more! No one wants it or likes it! So, I have my sewing room- full of gorgeous fabrics..that I need to sew FAST for everyone before I drop dead one day!

[@alycewich4472]

You may want to see if the fabric can be used by a charity and let your kids know that's where you want it to go. I belonged to a charity that made baby layettes for the marginalized communities through organizations that served them. We would take old wedding dresses and make christening gowns or burial clothing for the babies that didn't survive. We knitted, crocheted and sewed clothing and blankets for these layettes. Some of the ladies made AMAZING baby quilts out of scraps of new fabric that was donated. And any yarn was snapped up as quickly as it was donated.

[@gigi4874-w3w]

I buy things on vacation that will fit in my pockets. 😅😂 That's my new motto!

[@debbieolin8153]

​@@gigi4874-w3wThat is why I always told my young adults that hat pins are the best souvenir!! They are cheap, very small and can go on my gardening hat!

[@lexib671]

LifeLine gladly accepts craft and textile supplies, if you don't get through all your fabric 😂

[@MandalaBunnyhome]

I was just watching Hoarders and it's amazing what people think they can sell and how much they want for it 🤦🏼‍♀️ I've been on ebay since I was 18 and it really humbled me so I'm happy to say i don't have that mindset 😅

[@dianasimplifies]

My MIL was like that. No matter how junky it was, it was worth something. Hubby had to get dumpsters and throw prob 95% away.

[@olivemaycards]

And a lot of people don't even take the time to clean and fix stuff before they try to sell it! I've seen so many greasy dusty glass "treasures" that people wanted top dollar for on eBay.

[@richtes]

I only have little pathways in the basement. Some is worthless but that goes in the trash as it’ surfaces. Machines that need to be rebuilt and stuff I need to list that I know will sell, even if $5 or $10 Some things need to be taken apart to be disposed of. It’s worth taking the metal out of something like a Castro convertible couch and bringing the metal to the scrap place and the little bit of leftover in the trash bin vs pay to dump the whole thing

[@LauraN-do2of]

The more videos I see there is such a link between debt, consumerism (buying lots of things and eating out) and bad finances overall. I think this link is often overlooked. I’ve been on a conscious journey to pay off debt over the last couple years. Having less stuff and less debt are both very comforting. I don’t miss either one.

[@autumn-g1n]

I totally agree. And in later life all the 'stuff' is a burden.

[@molee8863]

I also think keeping up with the "Jones" is a contributor as well. We need to be content with what we have 😊.

[@SmileyBlue69]

@ My feeling on that is if you are comfy in yourself then you don't need to keep up and thankfully I think that is changing now. Sadness is that often it's folk who can least afford stuff find themselves acquiring it. I proudly drive my 2005 car partly as it's perfect for my job / life and partly because by driving her I'm paying off my mortgage quicker. I wish so so hard I was told about the incredible benefit of paying a bit extra into mortgage repayments. That choice makes it very much easier to walk away from a possible purchase. x

[@Texan27]

I just started my journey, it has been eye opening for me. After tears, anger, and disbelief I had to come to the understanding, my kids do not have the memory of the treasures I have kept. They were to young and they were kids. So my perspective is different from theirs.

[@paulmcanear825]

Watched this video on a whim. Probably avoiding housework, but your insights were surprising gems for me, especially the "permission" to not hold onto objects passed on by a previous generation that I am now "obligated" to find space for. Really thoughtful. Thank you.

[@AtoZenLife]

Thank you, Paul! I'm glad you found some gems and good luck with your housework...FYI, I've found housework is a LOT easier without 30 years of clutter in my home! 😉🙏

[@LivElysson5]

I just kept some sentimental items from my grandparents, great-grandparents and even my great-great-grandma (which I had the luck to still get to know) which I can actually USE. E.g. some nice pieces of jewelry, my grandparents fancy old wine glasses, or my great-grandmas vinyl-recordplayer. Thus I have something from them in my life which I would have owned anyways, just now it has the additional value of being vintage and bound to memories. :) Anything else I don't need to keep

[@doktorzhigonzo9165]

I think the main reason decluttering has become such a phenomenon is because things are no longer made with quality. My grandfather had the same couch for 20 years and it never had to be replaced. Pretty much everything in his never had to be replaced. So it's not so much as decluttering as buying and keeping what has quality/ value.

[@CarlKettler]

Well - some things well used may need maintenance. My favorite chair is my grandfather's mahogony rocking chair. I think I spent close to $2,000 to have it refinished and reupholstered. The chair is over 100 years old and it brings me joy every day, but the refinishing bill was a hard pill to swallow when I committed to it. Yes, it was well made, but it has also been well used over the last 100 years. I only hope there will be someone who can appreciate it when I'm gone, but I'm not counting on that. I also love pulling my clothes out of drawers that are close to 100 years old. Fortunately, those pieces were in good condition when I moved them to my house.

[@Auntemem]

There is also the problem of trying to live up to the Joneses. We are a very materialistic society. And a discontented and distracted one too. Always looking to change out something for the latest.

[@LYRC11]

I recently had a neighbor move out of the country and she held an everything is free give, so I went to check it out, and sadly I'd say 95% of her stuff I'd consider junk. It really opens your eyes to your belongings and you think if someone looked at it, what percentage would they consider is junk?

[@aurorerich]

Most people gather so much because it is so cheap. And cheap stuff is rarely worth anything... These people will never give away antiques, jewels, stocks or buildings away right?

[@zenleeparadise]

Why would you live life caring about how valuable what you own will be to other people one day? That's no way to live.

[@erikherinek]

My dad died about 7 months ago and it's been really hard at the start to get rid of his things. We got rid of like 30-40% of it by now, but there is a lot more to go. Currently we are reconstructing our bathroom and hallway, but those two should be in done within at least a month or two. After that... it's time to fully dive in and finally keep on decluttering cuz oh my god. It's so crushing knowing that person will never come back again, yet me and my mom are still so used to him being around, that we are still afraid we will get yelled at for getting rid of his things, yet we won't be. And it might take a while to realize that and let go of more things. Thanks for this vid. It helps being reminded once again that the things that made him happy in his life don't have to make us happy too if we don't need or want them anymore.

[@faeriesmak]

It will get a little bit easier. I had to do this myself and it was hard.

[@BarbaraThorndyke]

Oh yes, I used to have dreams (nightmares) that my mom came back and asked for her stuff back, lol. But it's okay. The only "possessions" your dad would ever be looking for are you and your mom. ❤

[@miri-amisraelchai]

The expression "Your possessions own you" is so true. When your home is cluttered, so is your mind. It's very stressful. Everywhere you look, you only see work. My close friends were abhorred when I once called these cute knickknacks that one tends to get gifted on Birthdays etc., "dust catchers", haha. They got used to the idea that I'm probably a bit weird that way. To live a fulfilling and good life, I really don't need knickknacks and stuff, just the few items that I have left from the countries where I lived that ground me today, and a few things that make a home feel like a true home.

[@KevinMaxwell-o3t]

I tell my wife that my stuff is unique and special; her stuff is just 'knick-knacks'. That sure gets her going!

[@sharontorgerson2556]

I'm at the age (80) where anything new that comes into my house is just one more thing to dust. Don't need it. I have turned into the the family's curatorr--youngest of 7, our father was born in 1897, so my precious stuff goes back, personally, over 100 years. Anything my adult sons have not specifically spoken for I am either giving away or throwing away. I will NOT leave it all for them to have to deal with. For one thing, I know they don't really have time to spend on it, and it will end up being thrown away. Valued things I DO have - I use: I eat with my mother's sterling EVERY MEAL. Life is short. May as well use the sterling. I started doing that while I was undergoing chemo a few years back.

[@kimwjustice]

Wow, the KZbin algorithm actually offered something useful and well-done. Kudos and thanks. Much food for thought here.

[@MrRdh567]

When my grandmother died they asked me what I wanted. All I wanted was her $ 50 pendulum clock, and an old cigar box she kept in the fridge with Nestle Crunch candy bars. These things meant the most to me and what brings back so many memories.

[@alisonsmith8653]

This video really spoke to me! My parents were hoarders and tried to dump all of their "stuff" on me when they went into assisted living. At the time I was trying to downsize for a big move. I went through their things and kept a "representative" of each collection (for example, all of the Hummel figurines! I kept my favorite 3 and then donated the rest). And it is so true, none of their treasures was worth anything, it was just a burden.

[@allisonc9645]

All of this video is SO good! Some of my favorite youtubers talk about throwing things "away" and giving things "away" and it just irritates me so much. Stop bringing in new things people!

[@AtoZenLife]

Yes, the declutter-and-buy cycle struggle is real! ❤️🙏

[@AtoZenLife]

(For content creators and regular folks alike! 😉)

[@SS-rv1mb]

@@AtoZenLife Especially with kids! May you make some videos around kid birthday parties and how to handle, and how to handle school paperwork, artwork and "stuff" that comes home with our little ones?

[@MS-sr6mj]

​@@SS-rv1mbThrow them sway.maybe keep one thing per year in a shoebox.

[@reneegagnier3226]

@@SS-rv1mb -- you could host a birthday party for your child with a "No Gifts Please" -- do fun games, have great food, and it will have great memories for all the children. Kids get gifts from mom and dad or grandma and grandpa for their birthdays -- they don't need more.

[@peony1414]

I try to comment on all of those thrift collection videos to offer the alternate explanation - that my things are to bring me use or joy and when I go, nobody needs to keep them. Also sometimes a collection is there because people start buying you cows (or whatever) one Christmas and you never even liked cows! I also became a museum after a few losses, until I detached and realized their love isn’t in their possessions. I can keep the love without (all) the things.

[@AM-bm2xw]

This happened to my friend, she liked sheep and then suddenly people started gifting her sheep things left and right that she never asked for 😂

[@rebeccaz789]

Isnt it amazing how a decluttered, clean home conveys wealth effortlessly. How beautiful 😍

[@wolfsmaid6815]

I agree with clean, but the minimalist aesthetic doesn't convey wealth for me, it just conveys a lack of creativity and understanding of design.

[@lifeinkarachi123]

Very true. Never seen truly wealthy person living in junky house. It's always minimal and classy

[@steggopotamus]

​@@wolfsmaid6815 all I see is space to do my creative projects without having to dog out all the other stuff I have to do.

[@allisonspeer649]

I've been decluttering for quite awhile now. I love to see the looks of horror on my son's or daughter in laws face when I as them do they want any of my stuff... their faces show it all. LOL. I've already accepted that they do not want or need my items. When I pass there are just a few things I'm passing on to them. I have also had to accept that a lot of "priceless" things I have collected over the years will not being nearly as much money as I hoped they would. And that's OK too. It is what it is.

[@xpsxps1339]

What works for me the best is this. I live some 20-plus minutes of walk from the closest donation center, so I always set my "decluttering sessions" on days when I have time to walk there during their hours and get stuff out of the house immediately. I smoothly fold and pack everything into a larger bag and take it like a nice stroll through a lovely neighborhood. I pass the botanical garden, a community art center, houses of the local artists, and their lovely private gardens. Even if carry a large bag, it's still enjoyable, and walking back is a pure pleasure because I am lighter literally and figuratively🙂!

[@shereehardrath3486]

Hahaha I am 71, I remember my Mom saving National Geographic magazines because they would become valuable some day. Same with copies of LIFE magazine when the cover was of an important event. My Mother used to ask me all the time, what would you like to have of my stuff? She LOVED chotchkes. TBH I never wanted anything, wasn't my taste and they weren't my memories. She died 7 years ago and I don't miss her and I don't miss her stuff, mainly because I have become my Mother! I see her peeking back at me when I look in the mirror!! She is with me at all times-in my HEART and SOUL.

[@acer4237]

When you say you don’t miss her my heart was sad for your mom…must be good reason.

[@labradorite8256]

​@@acer4237I don't think she meant it like that. It sounded to me like she meant she doesn't miss her because she's still with her inside.

[@huaiwei]

@@acer4237 you need to read the whole sentence and till the end!

[@catherinepaquet1346]

@@acer4237 I understand that. I mourned for a year but since then my Mom is so much a part of who I am that it’s kind of like she is still here

[@sunnyday_lemonbars]

it's so weird that they think magazines will be valuable. Just recycling all that paper!

[@autorinmitkatze]

No-one wants your stuff - so it's okay to let go. Thank you so much for this one, Marissa! I am so thankful for my mum giving stuff away constantly, and she always says that she doesn't wand my husbend and me to deal with it when she's no longer here. I had a discussion with her about all her nice antique futniture which we both like. But in our condo, we do not have room for all of her things. So we agreed that it is okay if we sell or donate things we will not take. I am quite a hoarder when it comes to stationery, so I decided to make 2025 a no-buy-year for me when it comes to pens, pencils, notebooks and such. It already makes me value the things I have more.

[@j.m.7056]

I had to do that with stationary too. Found note cards I'd forgotten!

[@flonotflow]

I recently read "The Gentle Art of Death Cleaning" and found it very interesting and enlightening. "No one wants your stuff" is SOOOOOO true. I discovered that when my mom passed away and we cleaned out her apartment.

[@patricia753]

Thank you for talking about how sentimental all this is, and how difficult it is to get rid of it!! 😢❤

[@CynthiaIves-f2f]

I'm now going through the process of emptying my mom's apartment. 10 years ago she went through the process of letting go of everything that filled a big 6 room house. I know what she chose to take with her to her assistanted living was her most favorite things. Many given by me. Then of course over the 10 years she got more stuff and I am overwhelmed by the need to get it all gone in a couple of weeks. 97 years of her life. It hit home with the bell collection featured, I started my mom's bell collection and will take about 4, and so will my brother. The rest will go to a thrift store, begrudgingly. Do I wish I could take them all, well maybe not all, but most? Sure, but I am on my own decluttering journey. No one wants her lovely 7 1/2 ft. teak dressers, or night stands with inlay marble so you never had to worry about water stains from a bedside glass. I don't even want her stuff. Not because I don't like it, but because I don't have a huge ranch from the 50s the way she did. I'm taking a few things, like the bowl I remember holding fruit when I was a kid, but pots, pans, books, bells, no, I painfully let them go and hold them insted in my heart. Ain't none of this easy. Every collection we see in a thrift store tells the story of someone's life. This process actually has helped me see even more clearly, to live an uncluttered life. Make the choices yourself, please don't leave it up to loved ones to throw your life into a dumpster.

[@quixotiq]

Best thing is to hire a firm to go in and collect the lot and dump it. They won't be emotional about it. Anything you look at too closely YOURSELF, in person, you may start to feel emotional. And if you didn't need it before YOU DON'T NEED IT NOW EITHER, OR ... MOST LIKELY ... EVER.

[@KoumoriKoumori]

I'm not a minimalist but I don't want to have a lot of things either. My mom is a bit of a hoarder, she had a lot of object from the start in the house. But now that all my grandparents died, she have their houses objects in her house. It's so cluttered ... that I'm scared of what I'm supposed to do after the inevitable happens. But you kinda put me at ease thinking that maybe it's okay to keep just a few things that are important to me.

[@lisasoto3425]

As someone who has had their own large collections of items and donated most of them, I am very much still alive and downsized overwhelming collections. Sometimes, these donations of collections are freeing, and not sad! I now have more space for life and the reduced amount things I currently love.

[@Golightly354]

My mother in law passed 3 years ago and our house is full of the things she owned. A lot of them are not to my taste but as my husband is affected a great amount, I do not complain or suggest getting rid of anything. When he has really bad days, these things bring him comfort and spark memories. If and when he decides to give these away (as we have no children), I will support him. But I love my husband and therefore the things he needs are important to me too.

[@midsouthhomestead7527]

When my daughter got married. I asked her to come look through her stuff. I had saved her 1st everything. She said, "MOM, why do you still have this STUFF". "I don't want it." It hurt my feelings. I also had some things that me and my Mom collected or made. She told me those were my memories not hers. Good grief, I was devastated. After a couple of years I thought about it and start decluttering like crazy. I am 58. I can't imagine if I had not started to.get rid of STUFF. I was the same with grandparents and parents stuff from both of our sides. Now, I am so mindful of what I am bringing in the house. Thanks for the vide🌺👵🌺

[@nriamond8010]

It's sad but it's true. I don't have memories of my first clothes, my first shoes or my first school things and therefore, they don't mean anything to me. Those things are valuable for parents, not for children, and parents should always be aware of the fact that they are keeping the things for themselves, not for the child. I am currently expecting my first child and I hope I will remember it :)

[@MargDBX]

Rude

[@capimages]

I’m a sentimental hoarder, I save things like letters, cards, photos, and all my daughter’s stuff like favorite baby clothes and toys, her drawings, school stuff etc. She, however, as an adult, doesn’t seem to have a sentimental bone in her body. She doesn’t care about any of it lol. 😂 Both my parents died young as well, and I still have stuff from them. The struggle is real.

[@midsouthhomestead7527]

I agree that it is so hard to let go. I didn't want to burden my kids with such an organized mess. Slowly, I would go through their stuff and start getting rid of my least favorite things. It got easier. I am down to just a few things.

[@midsouthhomestead7527]

Good luck with getting rid of those first tiny little shoes, wrist bands from the hospital, or beautiful hand made gift from a grandma. Itit's hard.

[@Luke1959]

Just finished decluttering my entire house, one hell of a job, but, man oh man, am I ever happy!🎉 Great video 👍 thanks

[@GailWilcher1983]

So true omg. You are so amazing, my home is a lot cleaner because of you. I’m 80% done decluttered.

[@bevanbuckwheatshea5520]

Good on you.

[@chrisr.1803]

I’ve been on my minimalist journey for a few years. One truth (for me) is that these days it’s just not safe to try and make a few bucks by meeting a total stranger to sell your treasures. Donate, give to a friend or family member or toss it out! Love your channel!

[@AtoZenLife]

Or sell them online! I had great success on eBay 👍

[@poodlegirl55]

@@AtoZenLife They are making it harder. now. If you sell over $500 in a year you get a W2 and have to declare on your taxes.

[@seltzermint5]

I agree. Around 2006-2010, I did that a lot when I was younger and not as financially stable. I cringe when I look back and think about all the strangers I met up with, even though it was in busy public locations and always during the day. For me it became less desirable when most people stopped using Craigs List and the newspaper, and went for FB Marketplace. I didn't like people having my photo and first name or even trying to friend me!? No thanks.

[@GSDsforever]

‘Impulse Spending Journal?’ GENIUS!!!!! I’m doing this for my ‘No spend January and February.!’

[@AtoZenLife]

I can’t wait to share the results each month…it’s been shocking! 😳 Most of the stuff I resist without thinking about it, but to see how much it all adds up…wow!

[@ivanvarykino8202]

I learned a great tip a while back from a professional declutterer who helped people that struggled with getting rid of sentimental stuff. Take digital photos of the items. This can be done by staging a collection of items or if something holds special value, take many photos of an individual item. It's really worked for me as a psychological aid. Now I know I can always go back and see that object or show it to my kids if needed.

[@seltzermint5]

Me and my husband are fairly minimalist and we love to check out antique stores when we travel, but we enjoy snapping photos of interesting items way more than actually buying them. I also find that having collections of childhood memorabilia from the 80s and 90s on Pinterest is supremely satisfying for me. I have saved hundreds of images that give me a warm fuzzy feeling. If someone offered me all those Monchichi dolls, Swatch watches & Pogo balls I would NOT want them in my home! haha

[@molee8863]

It is well & good to declutter, however, what I found is most helpful is to stem the flow of what comes into the home. I've unsubscribed from Marketing emails, stopped a lot of needless online & in-store shopping, practiced gratitude for what I do have & committed to using up what I have. Great video. Marissa, ❤ the community you've built.

[@nancypanasyuk8860]

When you referenced beanie babies, that hit home for me. I remember growing up my relatives truly thought they were investing by buying beanie babies! Decades later, I saw beanie babies at the thrift store and it broke my heart to see. That was a huge consumer lie sold to people.

[@debbieolin8153]

Sent them to Appalachia for the little kids!! They still had their tags on!

[@RenataKleinRK]

No one lied to consumers about the future value of Beanie Babies. Consumers lied to and amongst themselves.

[@nancypanasyuk8860]

@ I don’t definitively recall what was said to the adults during that time. I was a child when beanie babies were a hit. I’m sure they didn’t make a commercial saying “get rich off beanie babies” but there was some general consensus for their value and it came from somewhere. Same with Pokémon cards.

[@paularuotsalainen8954]

Thank you Marissa! This is very important topic. My mom passed away 1,5 year ago. She wanted to share her belongings to her children and grandchildren before she passed away. She gave me for example glas bowl and she wanted me to take her pine cones. I have already everything I need in my apartment. I said to her, surely you don't want that my apartment is so full of stuff that I cannot clean there or walk. I took her class bowl and throwed pine cone outside. I am in the process of decluttering my home. I have decluttered some things my mom gave me. And something what she had done. I have 5 table cloths and many smaller table cloth from my mom. If I don't use it, I might declutter it. I have 2 table cloth my mom had embroider and I still keep those in my closet. But I have place for those and I use it when it is time to celebrate. It is difficult prosess to declutter your parents stuff when they no longer live. My son live in his apartment and he doesn't want to have anything exess. I think it is good thing.

[@StaceyUncluttering]

More stuff coming in is definitely my struggle. That’s why I’ve paired my decluttering with a no buy year. I don’t want to go all the way to minimalism but the “stuff” is overwhelming!

[@dvduadotcom]

When I moved to my first house, I was able to give so much stuff away to a local buy nothing group, and it turned out to be a great way to feel connected with my new community and make new friends.

[@user-urg4gf0d5]

I'm liking my current self. All I buy right now are only food and necessary supplies, things you can't live without like soap, sunscreen, detergent. Being a minimalist feels so good and it's living a guilt free life. Consumerism destroys the planet in every way possible be it carbon footprints, plastic containers and the products themselves that are really difficult to destroy without environmental impacts.

[@bevanbuckwheatshea5520]

Good on you!

[@ifyoujustthinkmoreclearly]

You can live without toxic sunscreen. yYour body needs sunlight.

[@ReemSalah28]

⁠@@ifyoujustthinkmoreclearlythis is ridiculous. While you need the vitamin D from the sun, the sun causes skin damage. Sunscreen is one of the ways for protecting your skin

[@zenleeparadise]

​@@ifyoujustthinkmoreclearlyI was a cyclist living in Phoenix and thought sunscreen wasn't that important since I'm not prone to burning. You know what happened? I got skin cancer. Stop discouraging people from doing things they should absolutely be doing. That's wild.

[@ifyoujustthinkmoreclearly]

@ You have Zero proof the cancer is sun-related.

[@Filzlauszwei]

I have leared about decluttering, that you always find more thing to get out of your home. but i am happy to get it out , I am still looking for more things to get out of my home

[@ShermThursby]

Thanks! Appreciate your help.

[@AtoZenLife]

Thank you so much for your generosity and I appreciate having you here! 🙏☺

[@5Ducklings]

Great points! Thank you for sharing. :D When I moved abroad with my kids, I was able to get over the hump of clinging to things. I realized how much "lighter" I felt and how much easier life was having shed the excess. Now that my kids are grown, I'm doing a second round of decluttering. I first offer it to my housekeeper--a young widow raising three kids on her own. Whatever she doesn't want, goes to a local charity that sells second hand items to raise money for giving food to the poor. I never want to return to the glut of possessions I had before moving abroad. Life is so much easier and lighter with less "stuff."

[@melissastarr9949]

A harsh truth I learned is that decluttering can be connected to privilege. People who don't have the money to rebuy stuff have a hard time getting rid of stuff, you never know when you'll need it and will have given it away and not have the money to replace it.

[@pdblouin]

I guess that's one way to see it, at least for my parent's generation (Cheap, big houses). With rent prices these days for a small apartment, every material possession fights for its life in my limited storage space. My parents have more storage space for halloween/christmas decor, than I do in total for everything I own.

[@mariedavis7582]

Spot on.

[@leifmeadows3782]

As someone who is too poor to buy new things and also a stage 1 hoarder... yes. I have absolutely regretted getting rid of... a lot, actually. I can't just go out and buy new stuff.

[@wandrousvindella716]

While traveling the US, I still treasure hunt. I just don't purchase everything I find. The cortisol issue is real, as my husband is the hoarder. I go to the guest room, or to the Airstream, when I need solitude & calm. Slowly getting him to declutter all his precious "treasures". Thank you Marissa & happy healthy new year ! This video hit all the "feels" and was spot on ~

[@AtoZenLife]

Thank you for sharing that with us. 🙏❤️

[@purpledonkeylover9988]

So true!! My wonderful mom thought her "stuff" was worth alot of money but it really wasn't.

[@christijacobs3199]

Thank you for this video. It is one of the best I have seen. I am so sick of "Decluttering Secrets and the only system that works". You are honest, steps are real life truths, and apply to everyone.

[@Elise__Mae]

As a childfree married woman now approaching 60, I've never had the thought that "my kid will want this" when it comes to any of my possessions. The main thing I keep in mind instead is that when we look back at earlier parts of our life, the powerful memories are about experiences and people. NOT STUFF. Period! Great video -- thank you!

[@gamerperson9545]

I started this journey 4 years back, I didn’t declutter or throw things out but used them all up and didn’t buy anything till it was over and I lived 2-3 days without it. Used up all my grocery. As a result I became financially free and decluttered my home too.

[@CHirano-q4e]

That’s what I’m doing too, and it has involved a real mindset shift. Grabbing all my extra kitchen towels (for instance) and throwing them in a bag for the thrift store is a fun quick dopamine hit. “Wow! Look how great the towel drawer looks!” It’s less “fun” to resolve to use every single towel until it’s destroyed and not replace them until I’ve actually used up the towels I overpurchased in the past. But I think it’s critically necessary these days, not just for my finances, but also because thrift stores are staggering under the weight of the donations. So I will use them up, and every day that I use these towels, I’m reinforcing the idea that the next time I buy towels, I will be much more mindful of how many I *actually need* and not so easily suckered by a cute design or a 2-for-1 sale.

[@gamerperson9545]

@ that’s an awesome way of putting it across, also you learn to take responsibility for the carbon footprint you have created. Doing this is good as for mental well being as it teaches taking responsibility in a small way.

[@brendaalexander734]

ohhh - you are singing my tune - We (still have 2 young adult kids at home) have SO much food in our house that rarely gets eaten as we have our favorites and easy-to-prepare routines. I am just about to resolve to use every single thing in my pantry in the next 3 months (yes - there's that much food!). Wish me persistence and determination!!!

[@brendaalexander734]

@@CHirano-q4e I was focused on using up food in my pantry - but now you have me thinking of other things! I recently set about using up all my toiletries - I had this gigantic bottle of conditioner and it literally took me 6 months to use it up. Just did last week. So I was about to buy more when I thought - hmmm I wonder what my adult kids have in their bathroom. Sure enough - 3 partially full bottles of the same conditioner. I combined 2 into 1 as they were the same and daughter said "have at it" with the other partially full one. So - no new purchase needed. I think I'm going to "shop my home" from now on first before shopping stores. LOL.

[@Lordrixson5489]

Thanks for this video. It was instilled in me never to throw anything away and to spend frugally. But at age 52 I've amassed so much stuff, many which I've had for 20 or 30 years. I'm definitely going to begin a much needed declutter, only keeping essentials and a few heir looms.

[@beebee4334]

I stood buying things I don’t TRULY need. Saved a lot of money and, surprisingly, it was easier than I thought

[@kellycarter2497]

I've been decluttering for a while now. Feels good to give things away. I tried to encourage my partner to get together w his dad (80+ and not in good health)and brother and start decluttering. Dad still has a lot of wife's things, she's gone 20 years. Spend time with your Dad, he says no, I will go through the stuff when he's gone. Me, I'm not doing that to my child.

[@judypeterson803]

I've seen all your videos; been watching for years. This one is clearly your best. It's smart, helpful, thoughtful, and deep. The reference to the 4 table legs is perfect. I feel it will resonate with many, many people. Just decluttering isn't enough (I learned this) and you really very quickly made the point which no one can argue or excuse away. You have made so many good points in this video. I hope it helps so many on their decluttering journey I am still building my decluttering muscles after 5+ years of working at it. Your support has been very helpful. Thank you.

[@staticsnow1]

This is the first video of yours I’ve seen. I want to say thank you for approaching the work you’re doing here with so much compassion and thoughtfulness. I just turned 30 years old and I’ve spent the last decade learning how to let things go and reflecting on why it is often so hard for me. There’s no one reason as to why but I’ve come to realize that I hold onto things due to various types of insecurity-a lifetime of financial insecurity, emotional insecurity, uncertainty about the future, etc. The stuff weighs me down far more than it brings me joy. It’s not an issue I will ever be able to tackle in one weekend of cleaning because it’s an issue rooted in emotions and a lifetime of habit. I’m trying not to judge myself for these habits as they developed as a way to cope with life ❤

[@susanrikimaru6630]

Thank you for your consistent messaging, Marissa! I so appreciate your channel.

[@AtoZenLife]

Thank you, Susan, I appreciate having you here!

[@sasamafrass]

I have a hoarder in my family and they would be so angry to know my spouse and I aren't keeping their stuff when they pass away. They genuinely think we have the time and energy to sell their things despite gently telling them we don't.

[@Ninjanimegamer]

I already told the hoarder (mom), and her spouse (dad), that I will be hiring Heavy Foot Movers, a truck and a dumpster. What I can't donate, I will throw away. We don't want it. For whatever reason she's convinced my dad she's a collector. He got so offended when I said we'd get a dumpster. I told him to convince her to put the inheritance in a trust, because sis and I may not agree her stuff is junk. I don't want to sit on a house paying property taxes that I can't afford, because sis can't let go of the stuff. I swear she is Fred Sanford from Sanford And son, and she doesn't get her stuff is junk. She thinks she can sell it at flea markets, but she hasn't even bothered to get to a flea market. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@sasamafrass]

@@Ninjanimegamer I told his 2nd wife to get a trust so he leaves everything to her and we don't have to deal with it 😝

[@Ninjanimegamer]

@@sasamafrass omg. I just mentioned to my dad, putting everything into a trust, but my dad doesn't see the purpose of it. He thinks we will be missing out on part of the inheritance and he doesn't want to do that to my sister. What they don't get is my sister is going to collapse, become overwhelmed, and not move on getting the house ready to be sold. I'm going to have to fight it in court and I'll probably walk away from it all. I warned my dad of this too, but he won't be in charge of the will. My mom will be, because dad has stage 3 prostate cancer. He is on his way out now. If I can convince my dad to get my mom to set up a trust, it would be better than the headache. My mom won't listen to me and my sister doesn't want to talk about it now. If I walk away, we will see how long she can pay for a house she can't afford.

[@quixotiq]

just don't tell them. Once they're gone, it can't hurt them.

[@sasamafrass]

@quixotiq it's so much stuff it would be a financial burden and time burden for us to deal with it all.

[@Gr8thxAlot]

I've had several people force their things on me. Sometimes its easier to just accept it and put it right in the trash can. I've been given family heirlooms from people I don't know.

[@darinherrick9224]

I'm going to keep this video permanently to rewatch. This is the best video on the subject I have ever seen. There's a really good book on this subject called "Secondhand".

[@jacksonhusband8548]

Thank you so much. I lost my Uncle who raised me, my mom, my spouse by suicide and my shared living space friend tragically in the last 10 years. Your words hit hard! ❤️💔

[@PowerfulMoneyHabits]

I take photos of all my sentimental stuff. Then I declutter them n my house thanks me for it. My Time Hop app reminds me of those things once a year- good enough!

[@renelatting1932]

I started doing this with my kids stuff years ago. My mother was appalled and 45 yrs after her and my birth father split up, she is still upset that I don’t want the useless ugly dishes that belonged to my great grandmother and she passed them down to my parents. 🙄