Stan Tatkin: Love, Danger, Deviance And Conflict.

goo.gl/iqSqtX - Good Life Project offers powerful, unscripted conversations about living a more engaged, connected and meaningful life with everyone from world-renowned leaders, like Brene Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert, Sir Ken Robinson and Seth Godin, to everyday adventurers. Some are shared in the form of live-video, others are captured as audio-only.

[@startrace515]

Stan Tatkin is phenomenal, I look forward to looking into more of his work. Fantastic interview! I got so much out of this.

[@joannamario7759]

This is extremely educative. I appreciate it. Thank you Goodlife project, thank you Dr. Stan.

[@Brian.Tohana]

Epic podcas. I was deeply moved, nourished and empowered. Thank you.

[@frankbreuer8849]

This is genius... Stan Tatkin at his best

[@rogersmith1475]

X

[@ms_tee]

Just discovered Stan Tatkin and at such a crucial time in my relationship!! Thank you, he's such a gem!!

[@andream9977]

What an amazing interview! Thank you 😍

[@gingerjackson-shieldssuper1482]

Andrea Roberts Pup

[@georgieeve2026]

....WOW. Phenomenal ♡ Thank you :)

[@superblessed8186]

Awesome awesome thank you so much for your channel and guest.

[@gratitude5740]

This interview got my undivided attention especially at 25 min onward as I am in a long distance relationship for a year. We have have past the infatuation stage. I want him to show me love through actions not words, show me commitment through spending time . We are having difficulty establishing that . I am researching about relationships and share with him . He doesn’t seem to engage in the knowledge I share with him. I read this as he is not serious about us as a couple even though he says he is fully committed to me and he never wants to lose me . It is confusing. Should I stay around? I told him that I’m not fully satisfied in our relationship. It doesn’t stick for more than for a few days . As my true and meaningful feeling, I said I don’t feel we will sustain if we are like that which he hated to hear that . Is there anything else I can do? I love him with my heart and through actions .

[@dianachern4234]

What exactly do you want from him? What specific actions you want him to take?

[@maryshell]

I think for a relationship to work like Tatkin is describing, there should be a certain level of retrospection and ability to self-reflect. If this is not present, it’ll be difficult to get to the level that they are talking about in the podcast.

[@lisawilliams7568]

Excell interview..thank you!!

[@debrasnook4714]

45:37 build safe container of the relationship - 3kinds of love . 1)Exciting Love Infatuation. /amplify 2 sides of coin- eye to eye 2) Quite Love …. Hold on - let go. ?? Didn't get the #3 ?? Leverage the distress 59:07 1:00:34 1:01:00 serenity pact prayer 1:02:58 blessings.

[@sethseth3264]

thank's for the advice...

[@carolj7586]

I am touched

[@vladimirsm3316]

Its so true we need first happy and life

[@Starcraftghost]

Despite of all the education and training, once people get emotionally arouse, all bets are off... I believe that. My husband thinks highly of me, but, I tell him that I am capable of malice. I do have some bad thoughts and so far have been able to not act on them because the consequences are not worth it. However, I also know that when I am pushed beyond my limits who knows what I will do.

[@nathangilles2839]

So so good 😊!

[@danielband007]

stan the man

[@Imsleazy666]

so where do you find a good relationship like this

[@marleezawadzki]

You find someone and create it

[@debrasnook4714]

7:45 Working with Helen Shore /. HOT Divorce / ie still fighting - couldn't make sense of ?why? this happened.. poor distress regulation.9:00 -10mm Like being on FIRE at the same time / he then read Gottman and added attachment to pair bonding. I2:30 When threat comes on line... it's automatic. and we resort to "THREAT" actions and re-actions. 16:00 PPL can "Snap" 18:40 Primary attachment.. how to be... dependent - interdependence /. how the past show's up in present time ... when I need to depend on you ( like cop partner's need to depend) 22:30. The Goal is - "Secure Functioning"/human pair bonding(social contract-justice-fairness - sensitivity) 25:15 The Individual exists in the 'created relationship' we serve the relationship - based on our agreements for safety and security. 30- how to learn the other... to enliven the relationship. the DO ing.. the demonstrating ... the LOVE. / - Safety ( some ppl use the threat of danger.. to spark the attention in relationship - Low complexity ) there are other way's to maintain with out the danger 38:30 - new creation - between the two of you. Unique co-created agreements. 42:30 misleading ideas ( Bullshit ). we learn out side in .. then with another. the actual learning ... comes with in the relationship.

[@dr.florence]

I love Tatkin! But I disagree with turning the heat up on patients. I'm the total opposite, I need super gentle love from my therapist, because I'm hyper critical of myself already, and am super interestrdnin healing and changing and so on. I never want to get out of pain, I want to feel it in order to integrate it. Therapists need to feel themselves into people, be alive to what they say they need - IF the patient knows themselves. Kinda disappointed.

[@jayg.a]

I don't like the beginning of this video. That is your idea. If you haven't worked on your own disfunction, you can just aggrivate someone else's disfunction. We have to learn mindfulness and how to have empathy, communication, and respectfulness and boundaries. Especially if we find out that we were raised by severe narcissistic parents. Growing up like this, you are not allowed to express your feelings, you must be seen and not heard. You are either all good, or all bad. You are controlled, belittled, discouraged and on the defense. Whenever I have had a relationship fail, I knew everything that the other person had done to destroy my love and trust but, I needed to find out what I was doing to add to the problem. Since failing and growing I have learned alot about myself. What I really want and don't want. How to have a voice and an opinion. Also, that I keep picking what is familiar which is truthfully more narcissistic personalities, who think they are perfect and don't need to change. It is best to work on self first and then get into relationship after. I just looked up a guy I had married when I was twenty. He was from a rich family, and had the appearance of a Religious person. Under the surface, you find out that his father and He had used Meth. His father had an anger problem and was domestically violent towards him and his mother, and he was a perfectionist and controller. He has gone through two divorces and is now posting where is my wife, she is covered in the full armor of God and basically he's trying to locate her. It was so funny, because he is really unconsciously a false Christian, because he knows all the right verses to say and has a way of appearing righteous, but it's a whole different story when you become close to him. Aren't we all a little bit that way. We have a better view of ourselves, than what is actually going on under the hood. Fix your own engine first!!!!!!