Still Single? Do This | Lesson 3 of Flying Solo | Study with Lisa Bevere

[@alexissashanicolle8675]

To be honest, I'm 37F and have done those things throughout my adolescent and adult life. I've remained focused on God, have travelled, lived abroad three times, learned new languages, changed careers, started a business, got a masters, invested in meaningful friendships, bought a house, etc... Sometimes I feel like Christians are told to "focus on God", but we are not told how to build healthy connections with the opposite sex. I had this "idea" that the right one would just appear if I was following God. Now, in my late 30s I'm wondering if I should have been more intentional about trying to get to know more guys who could have been potential partners. I also am really tied of the trope that "God is all we need." I'm sorry, that's not biblical. It says in Genesis that it's not good for man to be alone. He should be our "1st love" but we are meant to be in community and it's healthy and holy to build a committed life with a partner, but so many Christian videos like this seem to not acknowledge the very real pain of not having someone to build a life with. And the very real and excruciating pain that many women face who are single over 35 and grieving that they may never have children of their own. Please try to have some sensitivity to this.

[@alexissashanicolle8675]

@@nyamburat2116 I appreciate the intent of your message. I think you mean well, but I have to say, I really don’t appreciate it when people ask if I’ve made an “idol” out of marriage. No, I haven’t. I don’t want marriage more than I want to be obedient to God, and no the desire for a relationship doesn’t consume me. And yes, I can “submit” and don’t mind looking out for my husbands needs - if ever I have one. I see marriage as a tool for our sanctification. Two imperfect sinful people doing life together and humbly aiming to be refined into Christ’s image. If I were putting marriage above God, there are men I could have dated (who didn’t share my values or faith - or more disheartening said they were believers but wanted to live contrary to the faith). However, I’m not willing to compromise on the things that really matter - like shared faith, mutual submission to God’s will/leading, etc… Suggesting that a person who has a Holy (and God given) longing might be “making an idol” of marriage is not helpful. I think it perpetuates this false idea that if we are “Holy enough” God will give us a perfect spouse - and that’s just not true. How many people have defied God’s will and have great marriages and beautiful families? We are not promised a perfect spouse/life/etc.. if we “do all the right things.” It doesn’t work that way. In fact, it’s very similar to the “prosperity doctrine” for relationships - a heresy. I think what is more helpful is to allow singles the freedom to be real about the hardships of unwanted singleness’s or childlessness and also provide supports to help singles learn how to date well and opportunities to connect with like-minded people where meaningful friendships (and prospective relationships) could be formed.

[@eugenenunn4900]

​@@alexissashanicolle8675 dude I agree with every single word you just said from start to finish!!! Im 27 and have never dated and gosh there is so much I can add and shake hands with toy on whatbyou communicated. One of the worst things I have ever heard in my.lofe in relation to marriage is "pursue God and it'll happen".....bruh that's lile saying if I'm jobless just pursue God and you will get a job.....ummm no you need to look for that and put yourself out there. There is so much room for the practicalities of dating that should be taught in the church instead were just taught that piety will leade us to a spouse. Piety can help and prepare you but dude if we don't know what it means or looks like to date, have conversations, communicate etc, relationships won't happen. I think you are right on the money on this issue. Also feelnfree to find me.on IG 😎 @eugenenunnf22

[@alexissashanicolle8675]

@@eugenenunn4900 Thanks!

[@eugenenunn4900]

@@alexissashanicolle8675 hey. No really everything you said was truth. I am so sorry that you're in the circumstances you're in but you have a very beautiful heart

[@suzanne8637]

Thank you for bringing a nuance to the conversation here that isn't emotionally dismissive, much needed in my opinion.

[@steflondon88]

Honestly, I'd rather hear from someone who has struggled and felt the pain of being single for a long time. I myself am 37, and will be 38 in August (I've been through it all: broken engagement, toxic relationships, feeling like there aren't any good men in church, falling for non believers, fear of dating, online sign ups only to drop out 24 hours later, ..). I can only hope and pray that God will use this suffering for the benefit of other women in future. Pastor Chandler says: "Lots of neat 'christian' boys, not a lot of godly Men". - The most helpful thing I've heard to date is to get out there and help others by serving and using your gifts - to not wait to live... But - it hurts sometimes so much one doesn't want to try anymore, can't bare the pain anymore.

[@anndiestephen7671]

I know how it feels. I turned 39 in April and it's been hard.

[@kimberlyturner820]

I'm with you. Will be 39 in November. It truly hurts. But I think you are right in that being productive, serving and using your gifts...etc. All we can do is keep on trucking and keep our heads up 🤷 and keep on smiling.

[@steflondon88]

@@anndiestephen7671 Thanks

[@steflondon88]

@@kimberlyturner820 I'm going to volunteer again in my church's summer camp, and I'm excited for that :) I pray God helps us.

[@steflondon88]

@@mayebouee8099 I think there's nothing wrong with asking God why, because as His child you are given freedom to voice your heart in all honesty and affliction. Psalm 25 talks about being lonely and afflicted. To deny your feelings isn't healthy either. He can handle the real, raw, and even angry. But, at the end of the day, we were made for Him, and we don't fully see that yet in heart.. Of course I later say sorry for being angry, but he gets it. No suffering is in vain. I gotta keep telling myself that too

[@minerva9273]

My dear friend got married for the first time at 60 years old.😊 That was when she finally felt ready having dealt with her painful upbringing and fear of men. She's very happy and glad she waited.

[@joannelucille]

We have one life to live on this earth and I refuse to spend it waiting for someone. Or feeling like I'm less than for not being married. I'm complete in God. If He wants me to have a husband, I will. His will be done. The only one I'm going to wait on is God. I will delight in Him. He came that I may have life and have it more abundantly! Hallelujah 🙌

[@MikelHermine]

Omg I so needed this. Thanks for sharing!

[@paulinepieterse2580]

👏👏👏👏🙌🙌🙌👍✝️💟🛐

[@wiznup]

The church makes marriage an idol, they treat many singles like an oddity.

[@beverlyburton258]

Have you seen Devon Franklin recent video on singleness, you will feel inspire , God bless

[@wiznup]

@@beverlyburton258 I'll look it up!

[@annienakanjako1464]

Very true

[@shereen528]

So true

[@graceforalways6445]

Amen! They really do!

[@tracyonyenwe6062]

You can always style a man's wardrobe, you can help him change his hairstyle to look better but you can't turn him into a man of integrity 👍🏻 so apt ma'am!

[@kellycrazie8589]

A season of doing, not a season of waiting - now THAT is a great take on things. 🥰😊

[@hallegibson]

Lisa is one of the greats. Love her leadership, counsel and care for people she’s never even encountered. So blessed by the power of God that is in her and who she is as a whole. As a 17 year old girl, having women like her as a voice of influence in my life is such a privilege. ❤️

[@berthankelenga6427]

This is my season of doing not my season of waiting. Thank you so much for this Lisa.❤️

[@Psalm5110]

I'm not young🤔 I'm 53🫣 and I'm single🥴 thank you Father God for giving me hope Thank you Lisa for your words of wisdom and encouragement🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻

[@Dale65378]

Hi do you see the words But I suffer not a woman to teach, found written in 1 Timothy 2:12? 1 Timothy 2:12King James Version12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. Amen.

[@eugenenunn4900]

@@Dale65378 they are both women.

[@SRose-vp6ew]

At that church women were disrupting the teaching of God. It was a letter to a church by Paul. Paul also commended the teaching of women in other parts of the Bible. Please don’t disrupt the teaching of God.

[@SRose-vp6ew]

Father God I pray that you surround Victoria with people that will be iron sharpening iron in her life and keep her away from any unequal yoking or schemes of the devil. Break off every lie from her life, and may she find fulfillment in you, and may the light of Jesus shining in her continue to attract both ministry and relationships. In the name of Jesus I pray.

[@Psalm5110]

@@SRose-vp6ew Yes 🙌🏻 and Amen 🙏🏻 thank you for your prayers God hears our prayers hallelujah thank you Jesus 🙌🏻🙌🏻❤️🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@candicrawford3407]

I really appreciate this word...I am totally loving being single and love the walk with the Lord. This has been so much of a grateful season for all of the healing over the past 6 years. I have grown in ways I never could with another human being. Just me and Jesus. I may be alone but never a lonely day!!!❤

[@stillsingleuk]

I love the part where she said big prayers - no matter, what I am going to love you and I am going to serve you.

[@shiphrahkasankya8973]

wow, thanks Lisa. She doesnt actually need to be single to give such great advise. I'm taking you up on these tips

[@caart6317]

Hi Lisa, what to do with a marriage that is bad and is breaking you to pieces in each day? Single people should see themselves blessed because you still have a chance to a good marriage and you are in a better place than people with horrible marriage!

[@threebeansmombo]

Thank you 😢 praying that prayer was so hard . My word the Lord has given me is declutter . Declutter the lies declutter; declutter my time: declutter the wrong people. God declutter my whole life so I can say yes to what you have in this season . Thank you for this word and the encouragement. Very timely . I really needed it please pray for me that He continues to give me the strength to not quit and I don’t miss what He is trying to teach me 🙏

[@chubbatheBOSS]

Beautiful message… I surrender this desire to God. He knows what’s best for me whether I am single or married. My life is for God to guide and not the other way around

[@cedarmanagement2343]

I thank God that I became a Christian late, at 30. I love my independence and ambitions, and marriage is last on my bucket. I love and enjoyed my single life. After accepting Christ, I had 4 children then single again at 48. Yes I had to struggle with loneliness, which is not as bad as being lonely in previous marriage. Things changed the day I cut all ungodly soul ties with ex and other people, suddenly the spirit of loneliness (orphan spirit) left! Now I may be alone but I don't come under loneliness. I am more aware now of spirit spouses and unclean soul ties, and this cut off, for me, is the MAJOR difference between enjoying singleness and enduring it. Being alone with my Bridegroom Jesus is so so so good and funny. I do this a lot when I meditate on Songs of Solomon. Soon a tangible human version will come along, while I'm running after my dreams and closing another lucrative deal 🎉

[@JoannA-sweetly]

The topic, Still single. Thank you Lisa for seeking the Holy Spirit on this one. Most of us single would not have a platform like you to speak to other singles. There has always been talk of idolizing marriage or failure to do everything you can to secure a partner. Of those married, even in the Christian community have a divorce rate of about 50%. There are problems not simply with desire or communication. As a single 65yr old, I have desired marriage, expected marriage, family and friends expected it for me . The pain single women experience is the delayed ability to start a family. It’s aa real loss. That being said, I’ve learned to trust in God. What we single or married talk about pain - translation = not a full surrender to God’s will. He has destined you for a calling, greatness!! Yes, you could be someone who discovers cancer or someone who makes an indelible mark on ending human trafficking. All the years that Harriet Tubman was single, she lived among married women with children and “white picket fences.” Who does history remember…. Christianity is counter culture, but many Christians are swimming in 21st century values and norms. God is everything or He is nothing- He doesn’t accept in between. Yeah, it’s been said here (I think), we are eternal, having eternal life. The old folks used to say, short time here, long time gone. Steward your given life well! Know that you are a queen (gentlemen-a king). We better know our identity in Christ. We are not groveling or second class citizens. Only accept God’s labels through our precious Lord and Savior the king, JESUS!! Yes, our example of how to live a single life here on this earth.🥰

[@mjcmps9114]

I love this❤ thank you Lisa. I was 28 then thinking if my then bf proposed I'll say yes. Thankfully or a blessing in disguise, a heartbreak lead me to be single again at 29. I decided to travel and work a thousand miles away from home, and ive never been happier that i learned more of myself. Im 33 now and im thankful to God for giving me this chance. Im still thinking of when I'll get married but im enjoying this season of my life.

[@eloquencewithabimbola]

We have about the same story! I'm 33, and I thought I'd have married my boyfriend when I was 29, but things went south and I was really heartbroken for the first time in my life. Turns out that the breakup was the best gift that guy gave me because now that I know better, I know I'd have regretted being in that marriage. As Lisa said, I also discovered that my finances needed serious attention. I'm doing way better in that area now; I'm so glad I'm not taking financial illiteracy with me into marriage.

[@mjcmps9114]

@@eloquencewithabimbola God bless you! Turns out we needed that chapter to hone ourselves to be the best version we can be and to know God gives us challenges that we can beat with His help💓

[@BaskaMuchova]

It is kind of funny to listen about singleness from someone that married at the age of 22

[@auburnsunlight]

A round of applause for the best, most effective, concize, hopeful, actionable video I‘ve ever watched on the topic 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Thank you so much, Lisa!!

[@lorenkotze8124]

Thank you Lisa. I'm 40 and single.i didn't see it the way you have explained it. Thank you for sharing this. Appreciate it 💖

[@growwithmae3108]

Wow, thank you for sharing this wisdom ❤as a single Christian it reminded me a lot of things to consider

[@jilllingenfelter4682]

All of This is absolutely 💯% true:)@Lisa Bevere

[@dianemarie1880]

God, No matter, what I am loving you and going to serve you. IN the name of Jesus. Amen.

[@tracyonyenwe6062]

I'm tired of living for 'when i get married' i want to live for God now! Today! This moment ❤ I'm also tired of the ideas and philosophies this world had taught me as a female while growing up 😢 my worth is not in how pretty i look to the world, my worth is in God 🥺 what God says of me is what matters, i should live to bring God pleasure not chasing this world's standard of beauty and acceptance. I am beautiful and wonderful ❤ and it has nothing to do with the world's standard of what it says is beautiful and wonderful!

[@missthunderstormable]

Married at the age of 22, what can she know about being single…

[@merviskachepa5223]

I love this! You have helped me Lisa. Its a season of doing not waiting

[@leahh4727]

im 30 and single, I love this!

[@vanessamier5382]

Thank you for that awesome word. I receive it woman of God.

[@ManassehBB]

Wow, exactly what I wanted and needed to hear and will be taking going forward. Amazing advice ❤

[@OluwadamisiAgosu]

I really enjoyed this. Colourblind lol.His style can change, so focus on qualities like godliness, integrity and respect. Thank you ma.

[@ralucaifrim4916]

Sometimes we have lessons to complete before meeting our partner. Divine timing is at play.

[@tinymonallisa3515]

I'm single and 30 years, thank you Lisa for the wisdom. Sometimes its difficult to navigate being single especially with less teachings out there. It feels good to know that we are not alone as single people and that we are recognized

[@meredithmurrell4369]

Amen and Thank You 😊

[@JesusIScomingAlmightyGod]

Exactly, many people think theres something wrong with a single woman. As newly divorced woman, Im focus its to get back on my feet. Im going to get my finances in order because you cant rely on no one but yourself. I learned that people come and go and the true love is the love you can give yourself and of course your first love should be God. SINGLE LADIES DONT GIVE UP, KEEP THRIVING! ❤

[@ericawanja1749]

Quite eye opening. It is the season of doing

[@hadassahesther9440]

Absolutely true

[@nancynancy5227]

Thank you! I needed this! 👑🕊⚓️🤍

[@krisjustin3884]

Marriage is like an idol for many because they are not only single and lonely, but also made to want an intimate relationship. Let’s stop this guilt trip! Rather than gaslighting singles, how about setting up activities for them to get to know other people and stop avoiding them in church. If you’re single, you might be in the wrong town or country, so perhaps think about going elsewhere. This may have nothing to do with your spiritual state. Why are so many non-Christians happily married?

[@EBThisThat]

This couldn't have come at a better time and it's funny how God moves. I'm 43 and I have always wanted a family, but I don't know if that is meant to be or not. I was a caretaker (and there were times that I wish I could've given my burden to someone else because it robbed me of so much), but I made certain my mom and dad were well taken care of before they died. To be honest, I have been working on being kinder to myself and have been celibate and chosen not to date for 3 (now 4) years. If I meet someone, excellent. If I don't I'll be fine, somehow, because God has always been there for me. Thank you for this, sometimes it is very hard explaining the why to people especially when I have good intentions in someone finding me or me finding them, but I watched a video about being fully whole, and honestly, I still need to work on that. I'll admit I have anxious attachment coupled with abandonment and imposter syndrome. After being put down, teased, put in remedial classes, bullied, etc, I decided I need to be more assertive and gentler to myself. I am worthy, and whenever my time is, I'll be ready.

[@elizabetheze3867]

Comfort me oh God for i will priase you from everlasting to everlasting

[@chocortez23]

WOW WOW! Powerful!!!! Thank you, such a great reminder.

[@carmelariley9491]

This is Good! Thank You 😊

[@lydiasalinas5106]

Thank you

[@leahcortez8685]

I combine with yoga with Adriene 🤗 thanks Hampton.

[@erdinadavids6033]

basically we just gotta keep living till we have been made ready to receive our spouse

[@fatimarequel]

Beautiful Lisa Thank You 🙏🏾

[@victoryactivitiestv]

this is really helpful, thanks for sharing, i am bless,

[@thatomalebo5338]

I love this. Came just in time. ❤️

[@melissaowen99]

Huge. Blessing!! Thank you!!

[@joellegodschild7253]

Thank you Sis. Lisa!

[@andreibidikov1494]

I watched most of this. I am male. Wish I had seen this 10 years earlier. I can relate.

[@user-ih3wd9sf9l]

If I waited until I was debt free, I wouldn't be able to bear children anymore....🙄 I feel like this is a sign I must be single for life.

[@maka000]

Thank you ❤ God bless you !

[@daughteroftheking01]

Great advice

[@christophermendez8385]

THis came just in time! Thankyou Lisa

[@rosegreen8441]

I've felt better as a single away from church. I am so tired of Pastors picking on single women in church, while they preach the words written by a single man!

[@mrenae6798]

Same!

[@Lovelife10934]

Amen thank you!❤❤

[@nettiemarie2556]

I still maintain as a single 46 yr-old that the best quality lovers are usually those who never get the opportunity and/or have been burned the worst.

[@Ntombhi_Hlungwani1]

I love this

[@tatiananotam6421]

This ws such a blessing

[@OurTreasuredHome]

Hello and Congratulations!! I am so excited for you Michelle. That is awesome. My favorite place to shop for yarn is Hobby Lobby but I also like Joann because of Big Twist. I think it is anywhere that has a great sale lol God bless stay safe love yall and keep going my beautiful friend.

[@dyannmei7217]

Godbless you Lisa😇

[@K777angel]

Wow thanks sis

[@alejandralush]

love u Lisa.

[@the7thousand]

Reading a lot of the comments from single ladies that are frustrated with just being told to serve God and a man will just come. My perspective is the Beveres give a lot of good advice but they raised sons - for them that was the answer because there are so many good single women of course their sons would find good women while serving. For women though it’s not the same. There are so many women dedicated to and serving the Lord but men are MIA especially in the single millennial generation where many millennial men left the church. Even in their videos they talk a lot about how their sons were raised unique and they don’t really know other boy who were like them. So maybe they just never had to experience the pain of having a single daughter so they can see how hard it is for the other gender to find a godly spouse.

[@dabeingsimms810]

In other words, don’t go chasing after fools gold. Make sure the raw material is worth mining. Praise God.

[@ezeritao2169]

May God help American preachers.

[@C.C-os1cz]

I’m just waking up to the fact that I have not been authentic. I think God knew

[@yvonnecopithorne8451]

I’m confused Lisa because I’ve read and heard you say you weren’t even a Christian until you heard the gospel message on your first date with John and he led you to the Lord !

[@alexissashanicolle8675]

good point! there's the ideal and then reality...

[@coriemmett1363]

Amen!!!

[@leviuzodike9061]

When Paul said something like , “Do I not deserve a believing spouse?” (4:21) in 1 Corinthians 9:5, I don’t think he was talking about struggling with maximizing his singleness. He was defending his authority and laying out his rights as an apostle. So, though I agree with the overall point, I feel this use of scripture out of context is distracting.

[@leviuzodike9061]

Perhaps 1 Corinthians 7:32-38 describes Paul’s perspective on the “struggle” better, though he himself doesn’t seem to have this struggle(1 Corinthians 7:7-9).

[@HeiressDy27]

Can u do a book on this?

[@audioa41]

I have to say… it’s not this easy. For one thing people say Jesus was single, Paul was single, many of the disciples were. Well one the disciples were still young. (And side not the only people I’ve heard say that… are married people)But for another Adam walk in the cool of the day with God. People say “all you need as God” well God was all Adam had. Just the two of them. And it was Adam who said he was lonely or desired for a spouse. No, it was God who said “this is not good.” every day God made stuff and said “it is good” “it is good” “it is good” “it is good” etc. then made Adam and said “it is very good” then said “it is not good for man to be alone.” And made eve. Clearly it is God desire for us to be intimate relationship. Having that desire is a good and biblical thing. Not only that but in proverbs it says “he who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” And with the whole just taking risk thing. I definitely that everyone should. But it’s not like this magic thing. I remember here people in the church say to take risks when I was in high school. And I did. I have records with going on mission trips the most and working at a camp the most summers. I moved across the country with no prospects or place to love. I’ve asked people out. Im grateful to things the risks have brought. But I’m still single and not where I want to be financially or I’m life. Okay sorry rant over. lol

[@michaelm9361]

If you ask a woman to go out with you and she doesn't seem excited and she doesn't say "Yes ! Yes ! Yes ! Yes ! Yes ! Yes ! Yes ! Yes ! Yes ! Yes !", does she really want to get married ? Do you really want her ? WHY do you want her ?

[@mrenae6798]

These messages are good but most of the time church and Christian culture doesn’t reinforce this. It’s quite the opposite. So we here messages like this and then go to church and listen to sermons that forever reference their marriage and families, see marriage ministry groups available in the church and highlighted, and just the overall impression we get from church that the goal is for people to be married . Married people usually get welcomed more into ministry positions and often their spouses by default)because the other spouse serves there. So on one hand it’s like “Singles don’t make marriage an idol..” all while we see the community we belong to and married people doing just that.

[@sheseesfortress1719]

❤️❤️❤️

[@estherjung3486]

Amen

[@lynny397]

Look for the right “raw materials “ ? Sounds like I need to gear up and build a house! Men can be exhausting 😢

[@afuayeboah9149]

Lisa, please I think you lot who are married should stop talking to us about how to do the single journey, because we have. And you don’t have a clue how it feels like. Most us are walking faithful with God. Single or married you can still serve God. The question is what’s your priority ? God or your Husband. You married folks make it sound as though, singles are a problem especially the Christian once.

[@lifemomentums]

How do you run after God?

[@georgerosanglien]

For i ew had many dauther in dangal

[@silja.]

🌺

[@michaelm9361]

Paul was able to do a lot for God . If he had a wife to help him out, he would've been able to do twice as much . If he'd had three children, he would've been able to do five times as much . If he'd had eight children, he would've been able to do ten times as much .

[@mannymedia6311]

Its alot of responsibility. He had the other disciples, and the Holy Spirit

[@juliemurithi1730]

👏🏾👏🏾

[@SummerTyme2023]

I thought John (Bevere) lead you Christ and you then got married. When where you a sungle Christian?

[@soulkitchendenver]

A man who’s using filters 😂👑

[@georgerosanglien]

Lalrothang haoginlal pu rochua

[@lindajones6835]

I think you need to live a single life before you give advice. God does not have the same plan for everyone. Criticizing single people for still being single is like criticizing someone with cancer of not being healed.

[@BruceJC75]

If you wanna be a martyr like the disciples, have at it…

[@ezeritao2169]

Sex before marriage is fornication, is a great sin before God, and should be avoided,

[@kosmopolitanna]

I found the opposite things while running after God. Foes instead of friends. Fanatics. Unhealthy patterns. They don't look to work on themselves instead focusing on God, ignoring authentic selves. No thanks.

[@c.a.r.4834]

Facts: outside the USA/North America, there are not equal numbers of Men & Women in church. Please do not take this advice as representative for countries outside the US. It only works with mega-churches.

[@Dany-nt6dn]

For rushing, most people end up in hell, specially women.

[@rebeccacirillo2494]

Wait; what Scripture are you referencing?

[@Reynier239]

They might go through hell, but won't end up in there.

[@Youwish34]

@@Reynier239some have died while in marriage. They have chosen wrong mate and the mates end their lives. What reality do you live in? Others are left with psychological scars that take a long time to heal. It’s not worth to rush.

[@carist.quentin2042]

Sorry but I don’t agree with dating someone you aren’t attracted to ???

[@agasulek3881]

I don't like the title, single is not the problem

[@susan.9246]

So at the end of the video... you're saying we CAN actually have sex lol? What? 😂

[@missthunderstormable]

Married at the age of 22, what can she know about being single…

[@kimhawkes2570]

Maybe singles could do a podcast on how to make your marriage better.