STOP Doing This! It Ruins Your Love Life | Esther Perel

[@jasonmiradoli8900]

Nothing against being physically fit. Like Plato, he took care of the body to be able to focus on the mind, and vica versa. But if people focused on, and society promoted, how can I make myself a better partner 1/4 as much as they focused on/promoted making a better body, (shell of your soul), relationships would thrive. Thanks for this. Esther is a breathe of fresh air.

[@alenaadamkova5322]

Some said wer live in a dual Planet...that there will be always polarity, good and bad, and you sare supposed to chose wheter you 80 percent of time, focus attention on the good stuff ír bad stuff. whether you focus on the fact that isd nice sunny day, nice trees in your street, or that the kids made a mess around trash can etc. But it seems you learn you may focus, on bad stuff, in good way,....that you dont focus on problkem, but the solution. then also focus on good stuff that work, having gratitude that you are healthy etc.

[@aidam6379]

Totally agree

[@TiaLei-e7c]

Agree, I put most my focus on being physically fit in the past and of course healthy food and exercise puts you in a better mood but deep down i was still unhappy and had deep unworthiness and rejection wounds I had to deal with. Ended up gaining weight back but after I focused on healing and my emotional well being the weight came off without even focusing on my physical fitness. When you have self compassion and love yourself everything else falls into place.

[@elisegray6962]

I have a very different definition of unconditional love. For me it's loving someone eith all their flaws, it's making a choice to love someone everyday through ups and downs. This is video proves me that I am so ready for love

[@parnpichate]

Yes but for how long are you willing to love someone through the “downs”. What if that person becomes someone far different than who you married. What if they don’t make effort to be a better person throughout the marriage?

[@artifundio1]

​@@parnpichate agreed! You can tolerate things you don't agree with just for a while. Then you start to build resentment when you end up feeling you EARNED the right to ask them to change. And they won't, because they never noticed you have been "enduring" their behavior... Around year three, most probably.

[@TiaLei-e7c]

@@parnpichatetrue you can tolerate only so much and that’s for each to decide but this idea that your partner has to be the same the day you marry until the you die is ridiculous. No one SHOULD stay the same, the point of partnership is to grow together. I would not want to be the same in my 40s as I was in my 20s.

[@parnpichate]

Your strawmanning me. I never said you have to stay the same. Personal growth is also the opposite of regression, which is what some people do.

[@TiaLei-e7c]

@@parnpichate okay I misunderstood it’s just that you said “different than who you married” which obviously doesn’t mean worse. And what’s worse for you may not be for that person. I do think it’s possible to outgrow someone for example if you get married really young you likely haven’t even found your own voice yet now you’re grown and husband doesn’t like that you have your own opinions

[@VivatVeritas1]

This brings a new appreciation for Esther Perel. You give and bring, you don’t take but receive, and you reap what you sow.

[@simoneem723]

I watched the full interview in 2023 and it helped me a lot changing my view on relationships. Also the life vs. love story definition is very valuable to me. Thanks for reposting this part now! Perfect timing ❤ It is worth watching it again and again from time to time :)

[@talori5417]

It’s only been 1.5 years but I’m soooo happy with my guy. I hope he improves his health though.

[@ziggypip2938]

Good for you!!! I’m happy too. It’s nice to listen to these videos out of appreciation and growth and not trying to fix anything like I did in a past toxic relationship. I’m so grateful to be so happy now. It’s out there, y’all. It really is.

[@faribataghavi7276]

Home is foundation with wings ❣️ Brilliant

[@chelsealeigh2417]

Expectations are resentment in the make - I love that ❤

[@kathleenwharton2139]

Be Considerate..Give Safety and Freedom to be True selves. That is Love 😊❤

[@Cynthia-rt2mz]

@@kathleenwharton2139 👏🏼

[@annatataruch]

This a fantastic conversation, thank you

[@GreatnessClips]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching!

[@jack-e-designs]

A promise made in a promise kept! 💗☀️🌹🍓 we’re always growing, changing and should be seeking more and better of ourselves.

[@ziggypip2938]

Wow. So true about alllll relationships in our lives having both positive and negative feelings.

[@alexanderpons9246]

Thank you so much Esther Perel, enough of the romantacized version of Love & Relationships. As she mentioned it is a mature realization.

[@Shanieceflordi]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him

[@asp4752]

You will forget him 100 % and you will find better love. Its your hormones now.

[@sandysan177]

Grieve. Take yor time, and eventually u will be in a better place.start being kind to yourself. Gradually work on yourself, yor abandonment issues, yor health, your body, hair, looks, academics, get a new degree or a new vocation. Work on yor skills. Build yourself up. N fall in love with life. Journal in a diary and work on yor goals.. it may be difficult but not impossible. 5 years down the line ul be happily married , probably with kids and a good man who values u and cherishes u. Turn to God and repent. Ask him for help. N dis time, don't get yourself used and abused. Take care.

[@CarrieMHB222]

I understand. In a similar situation myself. Not the length of my relationship that ended but certainly how I feel about him and the constant thoughts of him. It’s been 6 weeks for me. It’s inching slowly towards a less intensely painful daily existence. I have hope that someday it’ll be duller ache. I still cry almost every day but yesterday felt like listening to music for the first time since the breakup. Was the first time it wasn’t too painful to do that. Hang in there. One foot in front of the other. Take care of yourself as best you can.

[@naushinhusain5488]

Love her, she is brilliant :)

[@nappyfries]

On the topic of religion, why not find a partner that shares those same beliefs & desires? Sounds like compatibility might be an issue vs. accepting what you don’t want.

[@User-k6h4x]

Thank you for posting this 🙏🙏🙏

[@GreatnessClips]

You're welcome,thank you for tuning in!

[@ziggypip2938]

I think saying someone “makes me happy” just means they treat me good rather than someone who treats you bad and makes you unhappy. 😊 that’s my experience at least. Obviously our thoughts and perception ultimately determines how we feel.

[@Cynthia-rt2mz]

Love is work. Choosing to find a person who SEES LIFE, is a delicate skill. One you must own first. Once chosen, you are the ONE!

[@wendycorrea1]

Love her. ❤❤❤❤

[@vineson4453]

People should really do marriage counseling prior to committing. I’ve never heard the processing of balancing what you are willing to accept from someone and not like this.

[@mrjeff9169]

Truth

[@GreatnessClips]

🙌

[@Mushroom321-]

🎉🎉 epic !!!!

[@zaralee5721]

I have dated a guy for 4 years and I realized that our relationship is not gonna work due too many differences.. i found out that he has been married to someone when he went back to his home country and stayed in a relationship with me. I am mad at him for lying but I am also hurt. How do I get over this?

[@YanyanLun]

oh dear im so sorry, where hes from?

[@zaralee5721]

@@YanyanLun he is Indian

[@jackdeniston6150]

Cats for you.

[@katia5187]

You realized that your relationship is not going to work before you found out that he is marry. You have 2 reasons to get over him fast🫶🏽

[@YanyanLun]

oh oh then after the marriage and kids he said he loves me and want to marry me.

[@luden3523]

"She says don't see people and yourself as a product but at the same time unconditional love is a myth in adult love." Here is the thing... People have expectations/conditions that need to be met, just like products. . Isn't there a contradiction here? Or am I getting wrong?

[@lyndseygolden7546]

Products have little variables for change humans do

[@JusticeSeeker-py5mw]

Good logic. I think we are treated like products these days. I still believe unconditional love exists but only when you are two products from the same category 😂

[@ADifferentVibe]

Unconditional love is more between parents and children. But all other types of relationships are give and take, thus it's conditional and in many ways, transactional.

[@luden3523]

End of the day we are all products :/

[@VivatVeritas1]

Great expectations lead to great disappointments.

[@vixter28]

❤❤❤

[@juoso4836]

Unconditional is not a myth that’s just your way of saying it’s just difficult for you to have it.

[@mikenickelson4132]

You're up to a rough awakening very soon 😅. You'll remember this moment

[@TiaLei-e7c]

Unconditional suggests you’re willing to put up with anything. I do suppose you could still love someone but not be with them if that’s what you consider “unconditional love”

[@CarrieMHB222]

❤💔❤️‍🩹