Stop The Nice Guy Syndrome (Changes Everything!)

Do you have a hard time attracting women? Do you feel like you're always doing things wrong?
The nice guy syndrome is a problem that a lot of men face. In this video, I'm going to show you what the nice guy syndrome is, how to know if you have it, and most importantly, how to stop being a nice guy and start attracting the women you want!
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[@TheFearlessMan]

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[@cheekyboy5000]

My father was a severe alcoholic, and my mother had a breakdown. I was sent to care at the age of about 7, for maybe 9 months. I spent my whole childhood trying to be well behaved, and as little trouble as possible. To not be a burden or rock the boat. To stay out of the way. I always got amazing grades, and kept myself to myself.

[@TheFearlessMan]

Thanks for sharing. I think it can be sometimes helpful to know there are many (including myself) that had rough childhoods. Let us know if there is a specific challenge. For me, revealing/releasing, and reading books like "Letting Go", and "The Power of Now" have helped tremendously. Landon, TFM

[@markescartin1915]

Fear of LACK AND the belief that I 'am NOT enough are the prime motivators behind the nice guy syndrome.

[@stephenkeppie1308]

Definitely feel that, starting to work on properly today. I know all the theory but haven't made any progress. YET

[@markescartin1915]

The chaotic environment of your childhood created the "nice guy" syndrome in you. It's a compensation strategy. When you make peace with the "actors" in your personal drama you emerge stronger! U know what they say: Whatever doesn't kill you makes you strong.

[@wendydaniel1110]

Nice guys lack of self respect , self esteem and confidence How could they be respected when they are a "roll over" Its unattractive and definitely not sexy...Huge turn off. In connections It's unsafe..They can't advocate for themself much more a relationship . Excellent video❤

[@cjclementine434]

I’ve been on two or three dates in my 30 year life, and I made them all into dreadful, awkward experiences for myself and the woman. Now it’s been years since I’ve even tried to ask anyone out. Yours, Brian, is the kind of advice I need in this aspect of my life.

[@lenderzconstable]

I hope you get over your rough patch. Pray to God he gives you something to work with.

[@nagual2335]

You're a hero Brian. Those who understand the language of emotions and energy are lucky to have their life touched and changed by you!!! eternally grateful !

[@ARdave311]

Hey man this was incredible. I’m 33yo, learned about dr glovers “no more mr nice guy” in the last year and it blew my Mind. I was a text book nice guy without realizing how bad it was. I have sinse been looking for all info I can on it, you explained it perfectly. My only thing is it almost seems impossible to break the habit. Not so much on my end but I have been this way my whole life everyone knows and treats me this certain way (disrespectful) and I have always just took it because I feared confrontation. I am not dealing with it anymore I’m sick and tired of it and NEVER having satisfying relationships with women. This was my first video of yours but I look forward to watching your others thanks

[@kian4510]

Brian I just want to tell you that I am doing the guided meditation everyday and started my tension journal 2 days ago. My heart is opening and I’m connecting with people better than ever before.

[@RandyRandleman-n4e]

First 5.5 minutes made me tear up. I am speechless.

[@marcgardner9865]

Wow! I’ve been doing it wrongly my entire life. Now I know why I’ve had terrible success with women and why certain people treated me a specific way. Tension and blunt honesty are my new friends. My new life begins at 41 years old.

[@rjds1800]

Being a nice guy is an infuriating paradox. I certainly recognise some of the points presented here but I also know how unhelpful it is which is why I stop myself from falling into those traps in the future. Be a decent person not a "nice guy".

[@sammarks9146]

Thanks for this. I grew up in a house with a lot of tension between parents, and learned to be the 'peacemaker'. I'm also a person with a physical disability, and while that's taught me to be assertive in a lot of ways, it's also reinforced the idea that a lot of the time, I need to be nice and polite to get my needs met. In some settings, that's a great skill, but not when you're trying to grow.

[@John-hf1ig]

Being a nice guy doesent mean you fear conflict with anyone or have low self confidence, so i am not sure where this fits in with this video but take it how you want i dont give a damn. I believe you can just be a nice person without bowing down to anyone if you choose.

[@exnihilonihilfit6316]

Holly Molly! This video is AMAZING! That's not something you can hear easily... only an expert with a lot of experience (and who started _with_ the problem) could have realized this explicitly/consciously. I definitely have this problem, as a neurotic/shy guy - I'll always decrease pressure (like never keeping eye contact for longer [due to uncomfortable emotions]; will quickly say "just kidding" after something that creates pressure; won't make teasing jokes, etc.). :\

[@exnihilonihilfit6316]

Unfortunately, I had no moral instruction in any area as a child and teenager whatsoever by father - who should be doing this in this area - or mother. Neglect... a wild child. When the wisdom of the entire human history should have been taught to me, I got nothing. Nada.

[@kludgybrains3459]

"in the end a boy raises him self" - Silver Jews

[@syhi7971]

Until recently i didnt even know how it feels to have an open heart. That tells alot. Oh and i can relate to your upbringing. Keep it going =)

[@lenderzconstable]

Can you do a long episode on this that caters to asperger men? Asperger people are the worst with nonverbal cues and are extremely awkward and frequently are nice guys. They understand very little about social dynamics and I have heard they try to mimic people in general to appear normal and achieve a desired result and can become very good at it where you wouldn’t notice it was disingenuous.

[@BloodyHeck]

I’ve seen too many women whose lives were devastated by bad boys. My first wife left me for one and he abused her in all ways including physically, often in front of other people. Even if it means being alone, I’ll stick with being a nice guy.

[@wendydaniel1110]

Love your heart open approach. Your messsges and calm demeanor is very effective ..❤

[@dawitbiruk5548]

am wating for the meditation you say, i will make for you. pls bring the meditation for bing present and getinto body

[@masmurph]

Ok i fall under most of what you said. But i dont fear tension. In fact i seem to operate better during tense situations its where im not the nice guy. But without that tension im normal nice guy me that sucks.

[@sunmfune]

Thank you Brian❤ and the fearless team 🙏🏽......You have changed my life

[@JonasFromWinden]

That is definitely my problem, all girls treat me very good and they are always sharing their problems with me. I don't know how na why im doing it. I must have nice guy vibe...

[@1stRedCommander]

all this is 100% true. i have this and i just keep making it worse without even trying. like every single job i ever get has a woman manager. so i gotta please her cause ive worked at places were if they dont like you shell make both ur lifes a living hell. and i hate it. im a nice guy for sure but damn. im guessing that regulars guys tell them to f off and thats why theres an open position that gets filled by a nice guy huh. like i litterally i have to go into construction or landscaping to work with other men

[@lenderzconstable]

That sucks

[@dr.peyote]

Great video Sir! Meditating can help a lot to be more relaxed and get rid of fears and stress.

[@kavinski9093]

Thank you Brian, you're saving lives.

[@DominusNovemus]

Thanks for the video Brian, hope your arm heals quick

[@dannyscaffide3723]

When I was born I was born slow and my mom and dad were happy to have me but when I learn how to talk I started to ask questions like all kids do and then my mom and my dad wanted to get rid of me they do not want to put up with me anymore but they kept me any way and as I got older when I would get into trouble bye they my dad would bust my butt and put me in the corner and tell me that he wanted to be the father of a good little boy and not the father of a bad little boy and if I didn't behave hem and my mom would adopt me out and get rid of me it still sticks with me to day I can't help being slow my dad was all so slow and me being slow was my fault that's was how I felt and every time I would get hurt at school or in my own neighborhood and I would cry my dad would tell me to stop crying because he was not raising a little girl so yeah that was my life and for girls for get about it I live on a fixed income and I receive disability no woman wants me not only that I stand 5 foot 4 so that's my life in an nutshell and when I mean I mean a slow learner when I was in school I was in special education so I was slow and there is no cure for that women want men who are perfect and i'm not women want the finish product witch I"m not I might not be good enough for women but I am good enough for me and that's ok with me it just means I don't have to be someone I am not or be something I am not if women can't except me for who I am then I don't need them

[@yallnotslick]

What if you're constantly a jerk, or teases too much. How do you become nicer without feeling like you are changing into some you are not. Or do you just double down and deal with the consequences. I think I know the answer but still curious how you are going to answer this.

[@ntsikelelonelsonmbekwa3231]

Insightful work Brian, 👏 appreciate you sharing this, can't wait to apply this, bit by bit

[@darkknight9102]

holding tension and feeling good while holding it works for me

[@theawesomesausage]

nice tip

[@sunmfune]

That's great man thanks for sharing

[@jhanikhilesh]

Love the video, Brian. New site looks great. Can't wait for insightful content.

[@industrial-steampunk]

I wish I had known this 20 years ago

[@-aussie-]

Yes really enjoyed the video. By George ! I think you're onto something !

[@justinm3486]

tension*

[@alenaadamkova5322]

Women are influenced by estrogen, it can be good thing, they are feminine, creative , decorating house with flowers etc. But in stressful situation estrogen makes them anxious and uncertain. and they are alraming everybpody to solve prpoblem estrogen probably has such alarming effect in some situations as sending baby to hospital etc. So men and women complemewnt each other. She brings him down to smell nice esence of nature, trees plants, food etc to enjoy nice stuff, or eastetic things, because feminity complements or inspires masculinity and masculinity makes the feminity more straigforward inspired ins ome situation as some sport or hobbies taht are technical. They complement each other she may notice things taht he overlooks, and he notices things that she overlooks, some technical things, because the mind and hormones woork differently. but it reaquires good communication and intelligence. and he lifts her up with masculinity, to be more certain and not so anxiuous. if the estrogen makes her anxious during stress or when she is doings omething for teh first time, she feels uncertai and she may be inspired by him to be less anxious and more confident and focused because testostereone is about becoming calmer and focused on tasks.

[@annettesallee2209]

You are a awesome speaker

[@mazinsalah624]

Hey Brian Lately I’ve been noticing that women have been tryna pull me down from the mental state I’m in that’s how the interaction goes mostly, for example they watch every move I make (especially if it’s a bad one at first) and try to call me out for it (shame me or expose me etc) and so. I’m tryna know if this is a positive thing that’s happening or a negative. And it always happens when I’m feeling like I’m the man. For me I see it as a positive thing but I just need reassurance. And if you can elaborate more on this that would be highly appreciated

[@shanebrown1857]

I get stuck around when they don't respond the way I want them to. I'm not quite the nice guy I used to be. I'm much more forward but still need work. But I haven't heard anyone talk about the anger and even rage underneath the nice guy syndrome. I've noticed I'm actually very Angry at Her or myself for constantly selling out. I can't speak my full Truth because I would likely tell a Beautiful Woman that I want her in my bed, period. But it can come off a bit demanding and still desperate and she feels too much from me I guess. So, anything on this? My energy can be strong when it's unleashed, so I tame it. Don't want to do that anymore but don't want to press it into her either. So I bail back to being a "Gentlemen". 😅

[@dandaman9009]

Can you explain what tension is? This is something I’ve genuinely never felt, I’ve been in my MMA cage for a sparing session and had tension before a fight or during, so what tension are you talking about?

[@jasonbrown9582]

Great content

[@KestutisAnuzis]

Hi Brian, once concept I've always struggled to understand in this video and before is ''keeping an open heart''? What is it, and how to do it? Thanks

[@TheFearlessMan]

Check out this video. It has a solid meditation on opening the heart along with other details about what having an open heart looks like. kzbin.info/www/bejne/rYjchIiggNmAiJY Landon, TFM

[@senister14]

Okay I like some of what you said, but you left a lot of real important stuff out, like the danger of getting to much tension. You probably should have run this by someone before you posted. Also did you ever make your how to find a good lawyer video.

[@sunmfune]

😂😂😂

[@senister14]

@@sunmfune it's not that funny, look at johnny depp.

[@mazinsalah624]

More videos like this

[@pedroruan3766]

Great

[@stephanieherman2861]

You still seem to be the nicest guy

[@BrianKbegin]

Yes, I am. But now it’s by choice and not because I’m trying scared of someone rejecting me. I can say no and walk away if taken advantage of. That was a hard learned lesson. Thank you for your nice comment. ;)

[@sarimnadeem6136]

it was so fuckinn great

[@soymagic7474]

You look like Joel mchale

[@smater332000]

Wrong Brian. A nice guy cant be nice by choice any more than an alcoholic can stop drinking by choice. A nice guy can only rigidly stop being nice and go the other way, full ahole mode. Complete abstinence from niceness as a drunk abstains from alchohol. In time that may bring balance to your personality. It also might not, but it’s the only reliable way out.

[@ndubstar]

Nice guy? Hes the guy being the victim. You gotta be the vamp. The bat. The dracula. The one that bites. When the sun sets. When the air goes stilll. When the heat rises. Women are the victim. The blood to suck.

[@lenderzconstable]

Women claim to like and want nice guys lmao

[@lenderzconstable]

I don’t know if a nice guy can be taught not to be. He is hard wired by trauma and instability and a neuroatypical brain.

[@MrBlackjack456]

**Title**: "Breaking Free from the Nice Guy Syndrome: Unleashing True Confidence" **Summary**: In this video, the presenter delves into the concept of the "Nice Guy Syndrome" and how it can hinder one's success in dating and relationships. The main points covered are: 1. **Identifying the Nice Guy**: The video begins by asking viewers to self-reflect on their behaviors. Some signs of the Nice Guy Syndrome include being overly accommodating, always trying to please others, and constantly putting others' needs before your own. 2. **The Impact of Childhood**: The presenter suggests that many Nice Guys develop their behavior patterns in childhood, often stemming from volatile or emotionally distant family environments. They learn to avoid tension and strive to keep others happy to maintain their own sense of safety. 3. **The Role of Tension**: Nice Guys tend to fear tension and conflict, which can hold them back in relationships. The video emphasizes that tension is necessary for growth and intimacy, both in personal and romantic relationships. 4. **Courage is Key**: To overcome the Nice Guy Syndrome, the presenter stresses the importance of courage. It's about stepping into tension, setting boundaries, and speaking one's truth from a place of openness and vulnerability. 5. **Retraining Others**: The video encourages viewers to retrain how people treat them by breaking free from the Nice Guy mold. Over time, people will respond differently when they see the changes in your behavior and authenticity. The central message is that by embracing courage, setting boundaries, and being authentic, individuals can break free from the Nice Guy Syndrome and create more fulfilling and genuine connections in their relationships.