STOP Thinking Of The Ex-Narcissist!

[@nickbiellomusic5469]

these people are the worst. the suffering they put those that love them through is immense and without comparison. If you've never been in love with someone with a Cluster B personality disorder, than you can't possibly understand the amount of pain they can render. It's almost as if they are capable of damaging the very souls of those close to them. But the good news is, through hard work and dedication to YOURSELF, you can get over them. You can get through the darkness they've left you in. It may seem impossible, hopeless, and futile at times. I'm over 4 months out of ending my relationship with the most toxic person I've ever met, and I continue to get stronger and happier than I've ever been in my life ever before. I'm in better shape than I've ever been in my life, I'm more confident, and most importantly, my boundaries and self-respect continue to skyrocket. I thank God for this opportunity for immense growth, sorrow, and wisdom. They will continue to flounder through life, hurting others and getting tossed aside,, ultimately. We have a much brighter path ahead of us. Thank you Anoushka for your videos !

[@kumarayush4967]

What I have experienced is when you discard that person because of the toxic nature. After a few days, your brain will automatically take you to the good part of the relationship, the love bombing, the amazing sex, the care which that person gave you. And my friend that hurts. But remember you have left the person for the daily toxicity and the cheating and lying of the person.

[@michaelking9818]

Great insight

[@umainfy]

This is so true !!

[@mikejohnson5157]

Exactly

[@palapalak.8907]

Horrible demons for real. I Been depressed for a year.

[@hibbertsh]

I do agree ruminating about the narc is unhealthy and watching videos on the subject sometimes evokes those feelings of anger all over again. I have projects I have started around the house that keeps me constantly busy, going longer stretches without thinking about the narc.

[@Myfabulousfood]

I agree! Sometimes I need to stop watching these videos. lol.

[@redsquirrel1086]

I didn't think it was possible to get addicted to a person. Now I know you can.

[@terrywhelan6651]

What you were attached to wasn't a real person. It was all an act. You fell in love with a dream that wasn't reciprocal. That's the problem as you will never get closure, and they don't care or understand these emotions. They can't love, not even their own children.

[@KathiOsborn]

@@terrywhelan6651 Yes, this is very true, they hate their children and use them against you and can even turn them against you, that's how wicked they are.

[@mikejohnson5157]

I know, isn't that crazy? In my old life, one or 2 bad moves, they were gone. This one, addiction. I think it's seriously because I've never been loved like that, she knew everything I wanted to hear, wanted the exact same future, everything. It was all BS but here we are, fighting an addiction, it's nuts.

[@empress9857]

Frfr I never did either until their trauma bond soon as I go to thinking about her narc I reflect to a moment of bs they took me thru

[@Sorsha011]

You have to disrupt the repetitive ruminations. Doing something completely different, learning something new, take a walk somewhere you haven't been. Make new neural pathways.

[@Sci-d9c]

It takes time but eventually if you stay No Contact the thoughts FADE and eventually disappear! It does get better. You must stay completely away from all connections Period. What a waste of time and Energy with that freaking idiot!

[@Angel-q3r7o]

I’m loving myself, I love myself

[@SilverBackELTorro]

Love yourself but don’t touch yourself 😂😂😂

[@rorhianskall5659]

It's more difficult, when this person is a mother to your children and you have no where to go.

[@jay11603]

100% x 10 and having to try to coparent with them. It never ends with them.

[@freightshaka4193]

Going through this right now too! She doesn't care at all about me and our kids. She only cares about herself and she's so cruel to those kids and I. Man 😢

[@mayameir1757]

​@@freightshaka4193stay strong !

[@michaelmurphy7241]

​@@jay11603 mann thats the truth bruh dang we always get the bad end of the stick with the drama

[@michaelmurphy7241]

​@@freightshaka4193for real and when I went to court mine cried like a baby and the judge took her side and she was lying through her teeth

[@mariannaoleshkevich8996]

I've done all of this and discovered that it's not just nasty narcissist. It's more. I'm codependent, and that is a pattern from my childhood with a narcissistisk mother. Working with my codependency saves me from such relationships in the future.

[@faycal799]

Same here

[@mlxcardenas]

Same! Gotta take accountability for my part in this nasty cycle.

[@lesliekupchanko5001]

Same here as well. I did a 12-step program for Codependency. (In Bible College) 20 years ago, I did not understand it fully.... I do now. I believe I was able to walk away because of that knowledge. "My people perish from lack of knowledge" (bible)

[@missvegan1967]

I'm so sorry to say this but, it's almost as if you guys feel if you heal the deepest debts of your wounds that you wouldn't have fell prey to someone with the NPD... This is "Spiritual" it's a demonic entity and a lack of spirit armor! I don't consider myself Christian but grew up in a praying family. Somehow I lost my religion dealing with the, Narc. Building my spiritual armour revealed to me that something was "off" in my relationship. I am now equipped with decrement to detect this spirit and Not fall prey to it.

[@steph2834]

Ditto 😢

[@lionheartklaric3729]

This has been one of the most challenging things to deal with after the end of a narcissistic relationship. Ending the rumination. In my experience it's time away but more than that a huge reality check. Processing the grief of leaving someone who was not actually what they seemed to be. Your advice is very helpful. A list of the dreadful things they did and what really happened and visiting this again and again as much as you need to to break the spell. Ultimately you need to move back into yourself and what's important to you. It's tough out the other side you become stronger than you ever thought possible ❤

[@RickyRodriguez-wg1pp]

Self work is the best solution... Get back to you. It does get easier. Know that the next relationship will be real and authentic.

[@adespade119]

Ignore their words, look at their actions. Same is true with politicians

[@KathiOsborn]

Yes, with all evil disguised as good....wolf in sheep's clothing.

[@RajR-z2e]

This message from Anoushka is profound. It seems like direct instructions. I did all what is told here about a year and half ago. At that time, I thought my life has ended. Not the same feeling now! We, empaths, are not faint hearted. One day you will see how fortunate you are to get rid of the narcissist.

[@samia6888]

Are you over the narc

[@RajR-z2e]

@ That my friend, I am 100% !!

[@ryanholton9109]

Best thing is accept a new reality- embrace change.

[@SilverBackELTorro]

1 of the realist channels on KZbin hands down ❤❤❤

[@SilverBackELTorro]

Why can’t people build together without drama. It’s not that hard but not with the Narc. No. It’s a crazy thing.

[@KathiOsborn]

They thrive on drama trauma, it's loosh for them.

[@Brixlox]

Crisis junkies

[@MsAmira1988]

OH yeah, I am guilty of replaying old conversations

[@dcikaruga]

Nope, forget it, they're not going to make you feel better about yourself, it's just bait. And you can't expect closure, because they don't want to admit anything, they can't do it, they don't want to because that would mean opening up, which they can't do. Learnt this the hard way, forget it, they're just wretched people, and you have to swallow that bitter pill.

[@cynthiasalerno7802]

They don't offer closure so that they can come back if they want to, when they want. Completely selfish!

[@dcikaruga]

@@cynthiasalerno7802 The anger and hate in that they have in them, it's all projected outwards really, never reflected and complete failure to deal with themselves.

[@cynthiasalerno7802]

This is true. They have no ability to introspect. It's unfortunate. My guy is full of hostility. Anger and hate in his heart.

[@dcikaruga]

@@cynthiasalerno7802 At your just there, slightest little mistake, the wrong word, and it triggers them off. Lived through it for years, and it's ruined my life, not that they care, don't even understand.

[@cynthiasalerno7802]

You will choose better next time.

[@mofojimbo2121]

Just remember. These people WILL beat you down when you're already low. They do not care.

[@steveanhiron6764]

Reaching out was responded with “ oh , I thought things would work themselves out “ . Here is another ; “ I do not know how to love you the way you need “ . The best was “I don’t have to look after you”. Problem for myself is the destruction of Love from my perspective .

[@r.h.5420]

❤ I love your channel And Literally Going through a severe trauma bond. 27 years and it’s been over for almost 2 months

[@terenceclarke813]

You'll be fine! Keep walking.

[@mikejohnson5157]

It's so hard, and I miss and love her. I keep a short list of just some the horrible things she did, and when that feeling comes, I read it. Cheat, disrespect, abandonment, lies, rage, fights started just to storm out and disappear for the night or weekend. It works like smelling salts, it snaps me right out of it. Also know the next guy will suffer the same after the love bombing stops. The hardest part of this is realizing that the woman, the one I met and was with for 2 or 3 months, does not exist. Spent 19 years trying to get her back, nope. I'm done.

[@travstanz8544]

Thanks again for your insight! It’s so hard to forget about my ex. I know it will take time to heal. It’s easy to forget about all the things that hurt when yearning for those good times together. That overtime become far and few between. In the hopes she might change or realize how much potential our relationship could be. But I need to focus on myself and keep reassuraning myself that I don’t deserve all the abuse just for crumbs of feeling love and appreciated. Thanks for all the videos! Helps to hear and know it’s not me or I’m crazy lol

[@Thedisgardedoptimist]

I've had enough time now away from the 14 year relationship (a year) to now when I think about the past it feels bad and traumatic so I reel away from the thoughts - I sort of have a terrets reaction now - when I get a thought I actually find myself telling her to get out of my head and my new found peace... It's quick and profound and it works... It just takes time and a lot of work... Good luck with your recovery....

[@mathews0618]

Learn what they are. Remove all of them from your life. Give yourself a year or so to heal your brain. Even a 6 month relationship can take a year to heal from

[@Anthony-e1t]

I have a hard time letting go because I've been with her for 46 years. Been separated for about 3 years, I want to move forward but I worry about her on her own, she doesn't make a lot of money and neither do I. I still want to take care of her because it's all I know. It's a tough situation but I have to make a decision. She talks to me like crap and I forgive her for some crazy reasons. Shes never been like this up to about 8 years ago. I want a divorce but can't pull the trigger due to financial reasons for both of us. Life is difficult. Hope you younger guys catch it earlier then I did. Thanks once again for the video, you're awesome.

[@dcikaruga]

Depends on the pain and damage the've caused, but sometimes, when you finally understand them, you can actually feel bad for them at times. So much angry and pain inside them, it's a pity that's all they really know, and you end up on the receiving end of it, but they're stil broken people. Breaking another person just because of that is really a sign of how much pain they're in.

[@honestpainter]

Find a new lover 🎉

[@Anthony-e1t]

@@dcikaruga that is well said, she came from a disfuncinal family and I seen it first hand dating her at 15 and now we are both 63. I can see all her pain coming out but she won't admit to it. Instead she blames her whole life on me and it's so transparent. She calls me the narcissist, there is really so much to say but not enough time to say it. Bottom line is she is all I know and it's tough to see this side of her after all these years. I just say , it is what it is. I'm trying to get away sadly enough.

[@FOROW99]

They probably love what you provide for them... ❤

[@BigMerc91CMDNJ]

You need to leave Anthony. You are your own warden in your own jail.

[@janicebegley4192]

Omgoodness! It’s been almost 5 months I literally have to listen to NPD videos to remind me he’s got A severe Personality Disorder! I felt he was the Love o my whole life! And I’m 63. We were together almost 7 years! Discarded like Trash

[@lesliekupchanko5001]

I watch the videos on purpose to remind myself. It's 5 months. I'm grateful for this Community.

[@missvegan1967]

​@@lesliekupchanko5001I am 36 and share a 14 year old (son) with my ex Narc. It's been 1 year and 6 months he cannot contact me directly. He smears my name to my son, he's also referred to his community. We have joint custody without Courts involved, I can't understand sometimes how God allows this (bad things) to happen to pure 💜.

[@Strongerthanyouthink78]

If he contacts me about our daughter I end up shaking physically and so affected. The way he acts so cold and proud when he discarded me for new supply by email after seven years and an autistic daughter. He’s evil. His new supply thinks he’s Mr Perfect at the moment 😅I tried to warn her but she didn’t want to know. I’ve deleted my social media permently so he can’t know anything about me and I don’t want to see his targeting love posts with his new supply.

[@elviapadilla3298]

Great video! So many people need to hear it this way, straight up. Be brave and walk away. You’ll find the mess stays behind with them, and you are free again to live in happiness and liberty. If you are stuck I suggest you sign up for a class in something you’ve always wanted to learn. Take yourself to a nice dinner. Get fake eyelashes I don’t care what it takes start making yourself feel and look good. Because that’s what you’ve been lacking and you don’t need a narcissist to make you feel like crap. I can’t believe how I just stayed with this person who was mean and belittling to me daily. With grains of affection. But I am so grateful for every day I am not there. ❤

[@sanjaynarayan9234]

Thank you so much Anoushka it helps me so much to get out of a narcissistic relationship ❤

[@northernsegageorge6510]

I felt such a therapeutic relief when I deleted my entire email account and changed phone number to fully make sure she can't hoover me again. It's a clean break and I am also working on myself in therapy. I truly believe these people are demons. She even lied about having terminal cancer during most recent hoover to try and hoover me back in. Who does that? how sick they are.

[@cal4334]

7:10 I actually just bought Psychology of Money as well as Atomic Habits. Love your suggestions!

[@jonathandrake9433]

Without the trauma bond ditching the narc is painful but routine. The bond makes this like withdrawal from a bad heroin habit.

[@MarcM143]

Spot on! 😅

[@SusanBornstein-j5e]

This is a great video. You get right to the point-it is very direct. I am 95% over my narcissist but will save this to watch when I have a weak moment! Thank you!

[@LLL-dw5eb]

Self love is the best healing 😊

[@annbarrington7298]

The tips are helpful but it took me 3 years to feel “ over it” it wasn’t that I liked him or wanted to be with him but I just was resentful, hurt, frustrated, confused etc certainly in no space for a new relationship. I’m glad I got through it and was patient with myself. His daughter was my soon to be stepdaughter I had with me so I lost 2 people.. we were engaged and he just turned on me for the child’s mother..

[@rubenslacorte3296]

So grateful to you. ❤

[@michaelchevalier1333]

I’ve been married for 29 years. I can’t believe it. Had a stroke because of it 4 years ago. I’m trauma bonded and have been no contact for 17 weeks. The withdrawal from this is excruciating!!!!

[@cynthiasalerno7802]

I agree. It's been 3 weeks for me. It's going to take more time. The devil thought he had me, but Jesus said "you're mine!!!!!!!"

[@SarahPaints132]

Hang in there!!! Cheering for you. 🫂

[@BigMerc91CMDNJ]

It gets easier buddy I promise you that. I'm 22 months in of no contact and I haven't been this happy since before that relationship.

[@michaelking9818]

Married 30 years no contact 7 years , have to be careful around the kids make sure your healing doesn’t effect them, heal so they don’t have too

[@cynthiasalerno7802]

Children suffer when a mother marries a narcissist and even when the mother is a narcissist herself. The children do not get the proper parenting they require.

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I was trauma bond with them this push and pull

[@Steve20333]

What's bothering me is im in a little village in france in a little flat ! my house is just down the road , literally! and I cant do anything to relance my life until January 5th ! thats whe I leave here and start my new job ! 500kilometers away ! ive found a Airbnb for one month in the other place ! I have to find a permanent address a new flat ! I was in retirement ! and now I have to go back to work ! She planned everything,she brought me here to finish me off ! I am totally isolated ! and I have to wait ! if I could id go now ! but I have to stick to my plan ! I dont want her to know I'm no longer here ! When I say its over its over ! I now understand everything all the dots are connected ! I can see everything ! 33 years of Evil ! one continuous lie ! she said she hates me and I believe her ! she disgusts me ! I never want to see her again ! there's nothing I can do until January 5 th ! every day is long ! I vhave so much to do ! I have to see the bank for a loan ? to start my new Life !

[@MegaRockstar48]

Mine had me more or less prisoner in a flat in Northern France. 🇫🇷 I finally escaped back to the UK on 10th of January this year. It’s been a struggle to get over her but time slowly heals

[@palapalak.8907]

I am loving my new kitten. Shes personality plus!

[@michaelking9818]

Just what I need to hear today

[@Melchizedek11]

❤thank you Anoushka 🎉🎉

[@maxwellking3326]

BRILLIANT Anoushka!!!

[@ritarekasi7688]

The person is my neighbor. It's really hard... I really wish not to see his life when I go outside.

[@marshallfaaaliga7671]

Ty anoushka,🙏

[@superfields1194]

wow very good advice

[@ginalyn3289]

It’s true it takes time. Almost 1year no contact

[@lesliekupchanko5001]

Ephesians chapter 6 Explains how we can apply Spiritual Armour over us. God will protect your brain and soul and heart . It helps us to emotionally detach. Use it daily. "We fight not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities in high places" (bible) ----- Even over smear campaigns, "The battle belongs to the Lord" (bible) Give it all over to Jesus. God the Father And The Holy Spirit. -----

[@maureendevore2631]

Thank you for your wisdom.

[@JB-368]

Dam it! So true it’s hard to let go

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I cycle between the two

[@tonybolakowski6076]

Good advice. 😊

[@rhviana]

Lovely !

[@lifestylediets2412]

Thanks

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

Self improvement

[@Anadrolus]

Thank you Anoushka you help me so much !

[@orjadagjoka583]

So hard ,when you have to co-parent with them.

[@terminaltranscendence8422]

Thank you for healung me.... i'm thinking about you now beautiful❤

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

It's hard to move forward with this

[@RickyRodriguez-wg1pp]

it was very confusing... like everything was flipped upside down and you dont know this person.

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

@RickyRodriguez-wg1pp yes l know l wasn't living right years ago l didn't know what to do now am living way better trying to Level up in the world 🌎 harsh truth is no they never loved me it was just a facade they really wanted to use me for my money

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

@RickyRodriguez-wg1pp l do fall short sometimes of the glory of god

[@anthonyhindle6473]

Your a genius....thaankyou for your help...😅

[@jasminekujala4086]

Thank you ❤

[@KathiOsborn]

Still tied to the ex narc through money until separation is finalized so it's hard when thoughts start to wander his direction,,,if money wasn't an issue I wouldn't give him anymore thoughts.

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I was romanticizing

[@SweepDailyWin]

Done! 😂😂😂

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I was like food two them

[@honestpainter]

Rotten people!!!

[@kieranokeeffe1363]

I’m struggling because I’m still in love with her

[@anthonyvargasjr1602]

I just blocked my ex all together. When I think about her, it's just for the sex, sad!

[@brunopannemans5729]

No woman no cry 😂🎶

[@Folieadeux-x9o]

How did you know...😅😅

[@mara680]

If its not real then why does she still after a year posts stories or even draws paintings about me? She is an professional artist and sells these paintings. No contact but still she is obsessed it seems. I am too and this sucks...

[@okram75]

If it is real then why aren't you still together all this time?? Did someone force her to discard you at gunpoint??! Posting stories..drawing etc.. is just games for them like manipulation. . Watch more videos then you will understand it"s explained in more than one..as they have trouble connecting -they have trouble to disconnect . Doesn't make it real..

[@FOROW99]

Back up supply.. I still own u ❤

[@cynthiasalerno7802]

They can't have a relationship with you because they can't have a relationship with themselves. They can't sit with their pain or feelings . So how can they sit with you?

[@brendag.3802]

I am 85 yrs old when I was in my 50s i entered into a gay relationship with this beautiful woman 7ys younger we were good together until I became feeling something was wrong or not right stayed in the relationship until I figured it all out she is a narsistist I left 4 years ago now I am so old now not haveing a chance for another relationship just me my daughter my horses an 2 dogs although I am a good person happy I will make alright thank you for your help love Brenda !!🥰🤪

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

It's weird to understand

[@ritataboo2199]

stop to post on this topic! easy to say! but it's become SIGNIFICANT for us.

[@arcticauroras9627]

Love u suppose

[@LinMeulen]

Who ? 😂😂

[@brendag.3802]

I am 85 yrs old when I was in my 50s i entered into a gay relationship with this beautiful woman 7ys younger we were good together until I became feeling something was wrong or not right stayed in the relationship until I figured it all out she is a narcissist I left 4 years ago now I am so old now not haveing a chance for another relationship just me my daughter my horses an 2 dogs although I am a good person happy I will make alright thank you for your help love Brenda !!🥰🤪