Storm by Tim Minchin

Filmed at the Hammersmith Apollo in London in 2009. From the Ready For This? DVD.

[@GadgetAndKite]

"Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed, faith is the denial of observation so that belief can be preserved."

[@tomasxfranco]

*its

[@pmaphl]

Amen

[@Christian-ev1zu]

Fun fact about that line: Homeopathie "works": smw.ch/en/article/doi/smw.2019.20071/ Turns out some nanograms of Arsenic is enough to make a person ill.

[@fonsarelli4936]

@@tomasxfrancoYou're wrong. The apostrophe is used for possession

[@Pavium]

@@fonsarelli4936 For every other word, yes. "Its" is the exception as "it's" is an contraction of "It is." Welcome to English. Where every rule has an exception, and some "rules" have more exceptions than applications of the actual rule.

[@PatrickElliottPizzanui]

Just to clarify for my American friends: Tim uses the word "pissed" twice in this poem, but by that he DOES NOT mean "angry". He means "drunk". That's what it means in Australia, as well as some other English-speaking parts of the world. This had me confused for so long that I thought it was worth sharing.

[@92Roar]

Patrick Elliott NZ too

[@themanfromhell24]

...and england

[@NebulaAstrali]

I forget that it meant that, and I live in Australia

[@adambartlett114]

Grow up chris, English is spoken/written/learned/understood in a myriad of ways, far more than just your sheltered perspective & frankly, you are not the arbiter of what's the proper use of the English language.

[@jordacheleroux4512]

@@adambartlett114 Who is Chris?

[@davidschmidt6013]

Take this from someone who used to play in bars and had to sing 30+ songs a night....that's a lot of words, but NOTHING can compare to a 9.5 minute recitation, with (forgive me) 'rap-like' inflections to get the balance (the scansion) right...this was one of the most amazing "spoken-word" performances I've ever seen. I've been a fan of Tim's since the first time I accidentally found one of his vids. HE continues to amaze. He didn't get that Honorary Doctorate of Letters from NSW Univ for nothing...

[@lisacrofts]

Are you referring to his speech at UWA the University of Western Australia? Tim Minchin is from Perth and went to UWA and WAAPA before moving to Melbourne.

[@JanG_GC]

If you get the chance to see him live, do! It's incredible. Tour just finished was over 2 hours with lots of talking in between songs, such as a 12.5 minute rant about confirmation bias, online tribalism and more, plus the wordiest songs you ever heard. All wrapped up in enormously entertaining musicianship/performing. One of a kind.

[@lisacrofts]

@@JanG_GC agreed. We have seen him twice. Fantastic show both times

[@ginamcdonald7854]

I really hope he will return to the states and be close enough I can see him in person!

[@gatorfan3783]

⁠​⁠@@ginamcdonald7854: He is b-b-back in the States for an August 2024 tour! Seeing Tim perform in person is on my bucket list. Although I will be traveling from Florida to Massachusetts to see him, it's a heck of a lot closer than traveling from Florida to Australia to see him!

[@Gstrangeman96]

I love how he sounds increasingly drunk as he carries the story on.

[@allanfloyd8103]

Gstrangeman96 TBH, he's probably done this bit a hundred times... ;)

[@youdisgustme919]

+Allan Floyd are these replies supposed too rhyme? or is it just this mind of mine?

[@allanfloyd8103]

I can't think of a rhyme, so I think I'll whine. ;)

[@happyhoney2000]

Well we can all agree this video is sublime.

[@12301231234]

+L And yet in all the infinite excesses of time Is there anything quite so beautiful as a lime? Or a grape turning sunlight into wine? Terry Pratchett was divine

[@sexymcrbitch]

I did this for my performing arts exam :) I got a distinction (A) and it was awesome because I got huge laughs. Since I already knew the script, all I had to work on, was staging and presentation :3 my favourite exam of college.

[@mattlebl5456]

Wish I could do this in high school. The teachers probably wouldn't appreciate the profanity though.

[@SlyCoopergraff]

Matt Lebl Just replace "fucking" with "freaking" or something like that. And instead of "I'll carve 'Fancy That' on the side of my cock" say "I'll carve 'Fancy That' on the side of a rock"

[@ahmedal-saeedi5988]

Just as a heads up, that's called plagiarism 😂😂

[@jensraab2902]

@@ahmedal-saeedi5988 It's plagiarism if you present another's work as your own. As long as Mollie Star acknowledged the source it's not plagiarism.

[@Jason918114]

As an introvert, I cringe at the thought of doing that, but I commend your choice. :)

[@khyanashilston1262]

'Storm' should be in the school curriculum for all students to study & discuss. Absolute brilliance!

[@GadgetAndKite]

+Viola Smith I don't even know her and I already despise her. Lesson learned.

[@anthonybourdainsuperfan1241]

+Viola Smith I completely agree! I'm currently in high school and I would LOVE to watch and sinus this with my peers. Tim Minchin is truly a genius.

[@ivx8345]

Exactly!

[@mlemleh]

That sure didn't feel like 9 minutes and 49 seconds.

[@meow353]

Because it was 9 and 50 ;) Haha

[@gakeye]

Chloe I was gonna say the same thing

[@antera77]

@@gakeye I wasted time downloading this, and opening it in QuickTime / Mac OS X shows its duration to be 9 min 50.16 seconds (4 frames @25fps = 0.16sec)

[@scarletpachyderm]

@@antera77Was this worth it?

[@LJY08]

Can you believe he's memorised this shit? I always think that of his songs as well. How does he cram it all into his brain, and play the piano as well? The word genius gets thrown around far too much in this world (especially in America), but this guy has got an incredible brain and may just qualify for genius status.

[@lexsmithee652]

Think about how many songs you can sing. The human brain is incredible, and can remember long stretches of text, especially if it has a rhythm or something

[@lucay16]

I honestly believe Tim Minchin is an absolute genius but not because he can memorize something like that..

[@XFeuerFestX]

He has written that, probably spending hours upon hours refining it. It has rhythm, rhyme and is thematically coherent. Honestly, I'd be more surprised if he didn't have it memorized. Which is of course not to say that he isn't brilliant for coming up with it in the first place, writing the perfect background music and delivering it so well

[@freethrice]

Ya Think????????????????

[@annakowalczyk5763]

That's the power of repetition, my dear friend, that's how we memorise things.

[@TheWellHungPony]

All those near sips had me almost screaming "JUST DRINK THE WINE ALREADY!" at my screen.

[@Sgarnoncunce]

I cannot believe it was not deliberate. Drinking can be good, Tim has said himself that he has a few to relax. But when the choice is between drinking and ascertaining positive things and truth? The choice is obvious

[@612Tiberius]

It's part of the act; like George Burns' ever-present but never smoked cigar. Besides, him taking a sip would interfere with his keeping in time with the music...

[@annashaw1232]

Glad im not the only one 😂

[@jilliansmith7123]

mate Johnson: I felt it was very deliberate, part of building the tension in us to further identify with the tension he felt trying to be nice while listening to Storm opine her little clichés.

[@RobMacKendrick]

That's it. Every time he goes to take a drink, he's interrupted by another sally. Shows the evening is being busted by the argument.

[@lavenderandred_]

I think everyone knows someone like Storm

[@CriticalBrony]

Know them? I live with a few. XD

[@clivemakongo]

+The Brony Critic live with a few? I am a few.

[@donaldasayers]

I know one, his name is Storm...

[@icannotchoose]

My dad

[@jilliansmith7123]

Thomas Anholm: not you, too! I'm sorry to hear that. But I feel less alone now. Have a good weekend.

[@nicstroud]

I could ramble on all day about Tim Minchin but I won't. Musical and lyrical genius. Enough said!

[@Raven-ul9gt]

Mentally ill person with an audience*

[@max-beckett]

Raven you okay?

[@Raven-ul9gt]

Max Beckett Yeah i`m fine it was a reference to something Tim said

[@max-beckett]

Raven ah, my apologies lol

[@Raven-ul9gt]

Max Beckett dw

[@basosz]

I've heard of voice actors but Tim is an eye actor. It's quite striking how much he can communicate with his expressions

[@stevedawson8017]

'Like a sniper using bollocks for ammunition' is one of my very favourite Tim Minchin lines...

[@christinarusso2997]

This is one of my favorite pieces of art. This is unfortunate for my friends and family. I’ve ruined many a dinner party.

[@NiaLaLa_V]

Don't feel bad. Nothing you do at a dinner party can be as bad as what us vegans do to dinners. Your family just doesn't know how lucky they are to have you, instead of me. :)

[@ChrisUhlik]

You sir are a fabulous genius. The world is even more interesting because you are in it. Thanks!

[@davidschmidt6013]

One of the most impressive pieces of spoken art I've ever had the fortune to hear. Tim, you're simply amazing...

[@alfedge9527]

He’s so humble. It’s not just any 9.5 minute jazz backed beat poem about critical thinking, it’s one of the best in that genre.

[@blindmown]

I could release a new 9.5 minute jazz backed beat poem about critical thinking today and it would be the second best piece of work in the genre, and I have never played an instrument or written a poem.

[@MrWylis]

This is a fucking masterpiece.

[@omg-rtfm]

I cannot stress enough how frigging brilliant this is. Clever, funny and dead on.

[@lancethrustworthy]

'STORM' is Tim's greatest contribution to humankind.

[@lolus8974]

I just love that right at the end Tim finally gets his drink that he’s been trying to get a sip of throughout the song. So many brilliant parts to this work of genius.

[@Pengalor]

Seems like every day I see something in the news that makes me realize how important the message of this is.

[@Crumbs_Crumbs]

I know too much of this off by heart.

[@DianaLDiehl]

You can never know too much of this!

[@KarolinePCosta]

My whole family together composes the structure of a gigant imbecil human conscience as Storm... At least I live alone now and don't have to deal with these snipers armed to the teeth with bullocks! :D Anyway, congratulations, Tim. You're awesome and i think we all hope that you will inspire more artists to follow the path against stupidity! Thank you, very much!

[@mihais.1850]

Hope you get fat!

[@biancacastilho3602]

I don't even know how I got here, but damn this is a fucking masterpiece,this was one of the funniest and brillant poems I've ever seen in my life it made feel so stupid but I loved it,he is a genius and totally my new idol

[@AvoirJoseph]

Inner North London, top floor flat All white walls, white carpet, white cat Rice paper partitions Modern art and ambition The host's a physician Bright bloke, has his own practice His girlfriend's an actress An old mate of ours from home And they're always great fun So to dinner we've come The fifth guest is an unknown The hosts have just thrown Us together for a favour Cause this girl's just arrived from Australia And has moved to North London And she's the sister of someone Or has some connection As we make introductions I'm struck by her beauty She's irrefutably fair With dark eyes and dark hair But as she sits I admit I'm a little bit wary Because I notice the tip of the wing of a fairy Tattooed on that popular area Just above the derrière And when she says "I'm Sagittarian" I confess a pigeonhole starts to form And is immediately filled with pigeon When she says her name is Storm Conversation is initially bright and lighthearted But it's not long before Storm gets started: "You can't know anything Knowledge is merely opinion" She opines, over her Cabernet Sauvignon Vis-à-vis Some unhippily Empirical comment made by me "Not a good start", I think We're only on pre-dinner drinks And across the room, my wife Widens her eyes Silently begs me: "Be nice" A matrimonial warning Not worth ignoring So I resist the urge to ask Storm Whether knowledge is so loose-weave Of a morning When deciding whether to leave Her apartment by the front door Or the window on her second floor The food is delicious and Storm Whilst avoiding all meat Happily sits and eats While the good doctor slightly pissedly Holds court on some anachronistic aspect of medical history When Storm suddenly insists: "But the human body is a mystery! Science just falls in a hole When it tries to explain the nature of the soul" My hostess throws me a glance She, like my wife, knows there's a chance That I'll be off on one of my rare but fun rants But I shan't, my lips are sealed I just want to enjoy the meal And although Storm is starting to get my goat I have no intention of rocking the boat Although it's becoming a bit of a wrestle Because - like her meteorological namesake - Storm has no such concerns for our vessel: "Pharmaceutical companies are the enemy They promote drug dependency At the cost of the natural remedies That are all our bodies need They are immoral and driven by greed Why take drugs When herbs can solve it? Why use chemicals When homeopathic solvents Can resolve it? I think it's time we all return to live With natural medical alternatives." And try as I like A small crack appears In my diplomacy dyke. "By definition," I begin "Alternative Medicine," I continue "Has either not been proved to work Or been proved not to work Do you know what they call alternative medicine That's been proved to work? Medicine." "So you don't believe In any natural remedies?" "On the contrary, Storm; actually: Before I came to tea I took a remedy Derived from the bark of a willow tree A painkiller that's virtually side-effect free It's got a weird name Darling, what was it again? Maspirin? Baspirin? Oh yes, aspirin! Which I paid about a buck for Down at the local drugstore." The debate briefly abates As my hosts collect plates But when they return with desserts Storm pertly asserts "Shakespeare said it first: There are more things in heaven and earth Than exist in your philosophy Science is just how we're trained to look at reality It doesn't explain love or spirituality How does science explain psychics? Auras, the afterlife, the power of prayer?" I'm becoming aware That I'm staring I'm like a rabbit suddenly trapped In the blinding headlights of vacuous crap Maybe it's the Hamlet she just misquothed Or the fifth glass of wine I just quaffed But my diplomacy dyke groans And the arsehole held back by its stones Can be held back no more: "Look, Storm, sorry, I don't mean to bore ya But there's no such thing as an aura! Reading auras is like reading minds Or tea leaves, or star signs, or meridian lines These people aren't plying a skill They're either lying or mentally ill! Same goes for people who claim they can hear God's demands Or spiritual healers who think they've got magic hands "By the way Why do we think it's okay For people to pretend they can talk to the dead? Isn't that totally fucked in the head Lying to some crying woman whose child has died And telling her you're in touch with the other side? I think that's fundamentally sick Do we need to clarify here that there's no such thing as a psychic? "What, are we fucking two? Do we actually think that Horton heard a Who? Do we still believe that Santa brings us gifts? That Michael Jackson didn't have facelifts? Are we still so stunned by circus tricks That we think that the dead would Wanna talk to pricks Like John Edward?" Storm, to her credit, despite my derision Keeps firing off clichés with startling precision Like a sniper using bollocks for ammunition "You're so sure of your position But you're just closed-minded I think you'll find That your faith in science and tests Is just as blind As the faith of any fundamentalist." "Wow, that's a good point, let me think for a bit... Oh wait, my mistake, that's absolute bullshit. Science adjusts its views based on what's observed; Faith is the denial of observation so that belief can be preserved If you show me that, say, homeopathy works Then I will change my mind I will spin on a fucking dime I'll be as embarrassed as hell Yet I will run through the streets yelling 'It's a miracle! Take physics and bin it! Water has memory! And whilst its memory of a long lost drop of onion juice seems infinite It somehow forgets all the poo it's had in it!' "You show me that it works and how it works And when I've recovered from the shock I will take a compass and carve 'Fancy That' on the side of my cock!" Everyone is just staring now But I'm pretty pissed and I've dug this far down So I figure, in for a penny, in for a pound: "Life is full of mysteries, yeah But there are answers out there And they won't be found By people sitting around Looking serious And saying 'Isn't life mysterious?' Let's sit here and hope Let's call up the fucking Pope Let's go watch Oprah Interview Deepak Chopra "If you wanna watch telly, you should watch Scooby Doo That show was so cool Because every time there was a church with a ghoul Or a ghost in a school They looked beneath the mask and what was inside? The fucking janitor or the dude who ran the waterslide Because throughout history Every mystery Ever solved has turned out to be Not magic "Does the idea that there might be knowledge Frighten you? Does the idea that one afternoon On Wiki-fucking-pedia might enlighten you Frighten you? Does the notion that there may not be a supernatural So blow your hippy noodle That you would rather just stand in the fog Of your inability to Google? "Isn't this enough? Just this world? "Just this beautiful, complex Wonderfully unfathomable, natural world? How does it so fail to hold our attention That we have to diminish it with the invention Of cheap, man-made myths and monsters? If you're so into your Shakespeare Lend me your ear: To gild refined gold, to paint the lily To throw perfume on the violet is just fucking silly Or something like that Or what about Satchmo?! I see trees of green Red roses too And fine, if you wish to Glorify Krishna and Vishnu In a post-colonial, condescending Bottled-up and labeled kind of way Then whatever, that's okay But here's what gives me a hard-on: I am a tiny, insignificant, ignorant bit of carbon I have one life, and it is short And unimportant But thanks to recent scientific advances I get to live twice as long As my great great great great uncleses and auntses Twice as long to live this life of mine Twice as long to love this wife of mine Twice as many years of friends and wine Of sharing curries and getting shitty At good-looking hippies With fairies on their spines And butterflies on their titties "And if perchance I have offended Think but this and all is mended: We'd as well be 10 minutes back in time For all the chance you'll change your mind."

[@jomomo2]

Thank you!!!

[@Piarou]

I can't remember how often I used "Storm" to try and get a point come across. Seriously one of my favourite pieces of art, dear sir.

[@ivx8345]

Same here.

[@piedpiper1185]

I love how he keeps acting like he's gonna take a drink just to change his mind and keep talking.

[@ABetterWeapon]

I've clicked 'like' a hundred times, but youtube thinks only one 'like's mine. I've fought and fought, but it seems to be, that one like is all you can get from me.

[@mandaloriancrusader3746]

If you click it 100 hundred times it just ends up canceling​ out so you actually have not liked at all...

[@hammerfel]

WHOOSH!

[@jilliansmith7123]

Only "odd" clicks count....but all "odd" clicks = one like from you, total. Pedantic panda here.

[@MichaelLasotaWheresWaldo]

I can't imagine..... this guy is awesome. I can't believe I've missed him all this time and just learned of him. And if he's doing this for real without a prompter? Holy crap. Pretty cool.

[@scottcharman5033]

Always loved Tim Minchin from the first time I heard his material and I've yet to be disappointed. YOU GREW ON ME has moved me so many times and the more I hear of Tim the more I am enthrallled by his genius...

[@chiddiddychip123]

"Science adjust it's views base on what's observed, faith is the denial of observation so that belief can be preserved" I recently quote this to a friend of mine to drive a point home.

[@zacharyradford5552]

Science can also adjust its views based on who signs the check.

[@Maziony]

@@zacharyradford5552 No.

[@cathbeeston2311]

I was in the church choir. I went to church camp, and was part of a church leadership program. I even taught Sunday school. But I didn’t truly know what faith was until I took organic chemistry in college.

[@alexl0923]

Still by far my favorite piece that Tim does. I wish i could have stood up in high school in English class and performed this, in front of my peers. Most of which were sheep that believed anything that was big in the media, without looking into other world issues of the time. I lived in a weird hippie town that didn't allow for much free thought and it would have been freeing to try to open their mind to something different.

[@RayneSaltair]

+OmegaKai They wouldn't have listened. I performed the sin of wearing colored sneakers that matched my outfits back in high school instead of plain white. Girl kept following me around bugging me telling me my shoes were wrong. Imagine some adult put out a commercial or something that you were only cool if you wore white to sell their product to mindless drones.

[@maryfitzpatrick3252]

My favorite critical thinker and humanist. Half of 🇺🇸 USA adores this clever humanist.

[@475093845034580]

It's been 8 years since I first heard this poem and I just now understood the last line of it. It's a clever assumption.

[@TwoPercentViking]

Is it just me that's always searching for new stuff? I know Tim's done tours in America for example but there's hardly any footage!

[@BHShaman]

Love TM. Hope he comes out with a new album or new concert tour sometime soon. Missed the last go round.

[@aussiechick00]

He's probz writing a new musical or something, I feel like since he wrote Matilda he's starting to get into writing musical scores...

[@mshoneybadger9]

BHShaman He's just done Jesus Christ Superstar. Amazing though he is, cut the guy a bit of slack will you

[@amiejones860]

He's writing a new musical. And, with that taking up time, new comedic material will take longer to write, perfect and perform. :)

[@TwoPercentViking]

Yeah but he's done so many gigs since his DVD releases. Can't believe nobody has filmed anything heh.

[@IceMetalPunk]

Not that I mind listening to Storm again (I could NEVER mind that!), but isn't there anything new from Tim over the past couple years that I could watch?

[@21nickik]

Califronication season 5

[@IceMetalPunk]

21nickik Oh, shit! I had no idea he was on a TV show!

[@samamar4570]

the youtube wouldn't put up his latest stuff because he'd want you to buy his dvd's, i'm guessing

[@Earitol]

Sam Amar Also, they uploaded this because he's publishing an animated book of Storm. So this is a promotional upload.

[@TomDufall]

He's also been behind the soundtracks of a few musicals recently, e.g. Matilda.

[@MrEdwardCollins]

Just now finding this... in June of 2019. It's my loss for not finding it earlier... yet I'm glad I found it at all. I just finished watching it for a second time. About yet I'm about ready to watch it again. I expect to watch it again many more times in the upcoming years. Thanks Tim. Good work.

[@paulgraham2483]

Make sure to catch the animated version too. The live version is great for the way he manages to sound more progressively drunk despite never getting that FUCKING SIP OF WINE he keeps trying for...but the animation is clever as hell too.

[@chrisclarke754]

This never gets old. I love it

[@dalemiller5893]

This man is one hell of a enclopedia.

[@BoopTheSynth]

wikipedia the free encyclopedia at en.wikipedia.org

[@randomcommenter550]

Tim really needs to go on tour in the States. And visit the Southeast. North Carolina. Specifically Charlotte. Or Raleigh. Or Greensboro. Or somewhere else within reasonable driving distance. I REALLY want to see him live.

[@ukusrule]

You mean you want to see him killed. :-P

[@randomcommenter550]

No! As long as he stays in the cities, he'll be fine. If not, well....

[@sheryl-6101]

How does he remember all of this perfectly?!

[@meow353]

He's insane :p

[@jameshilton8898]

I'm doing this for my HSC drama monologue, I have to Remember this

[@oogenesis]

he's an actor and this is a monologue he wrote, that's how :D

[@frankpapouschek8494]

The trick is you dont see the script so he can change some stuff. Listen to other recordings and youll hear they are a bit diffrent

[@stargazer7644]

He wrote it. How does he remember the tens of thousands of notes in all of the songs he plays on the piano?

[@KyKypyD3o]

Inner North London, top floor flat All white walls, white carpet, white cat, Rice Paper partitions, modern art and ambition The host's a physician, Bright bloke, has his own practice His girlfriend's an actress, an old mate of ours from home And they're always great fun, so to dinner we've come. The 5th guest is an unknown, The hosts have just thrown us together for a favour 'cause this girl's just arrived from Australia And she's moved to North London and she's the sister of someone or has some connection. As we make introductions I'm struck by her beauty She's irrefutably fair with dark eyes and dark hair But as she sits, I admit I'm a little bit wary 'cause I notice the tip of the wing of a fairy tattooed on that popular area just above the derrière And when she says "I'm Sagittarian", I confess a pigeonhole starts to form And is immediately filled with pigeon when she says her name is Storm. Conversation is initially bright and light hearted but it's not long before Storm gets started: "You can't know anything, knowledge is merely opinion!" She opines, over her Cabernet Sauvignon, vis-à-vis some unhippily empirical comment by me. "Not a good start" I think We're only on pre-dinner drinks And across the room, my wife widens her eyes, silently begs me: "Be Nice" A matrimonial warning not worth ignoring So I resist the urge to ask Storm whether knowledge is so loose-weave of a morning when deciding whether to leave her apartment by the front door Or the window on her second floor. The food is delicious and Storm, whilst avoiding all meat happily sits and eats As the good doctor, slightly pissedly holds court on some anachronistic aspect of medical history When Storm suddenly insists: "But the human body is a mystery! Science just falls in a hole when it tries to explain the nature of the soul." My hostess throws me a glance She, like my wife, knows there's a chance I'll be off on one of my rare but fun rants but I shan't My lips are sealed, I just wanna enjoy the meal And although Storm is starting to get my goat I have no intention of rocking the boat Although it's becoming a bit of a wrestle because - like her meteorological namesake - Storm has no such concerns for our vessel: "Pharmaceutical companies are the enemy They promote drug dependency at the cost of the natural remedies that are all our bodies need They are immoral and driven by greed. Why take drugs when herbs can solve it? Why use chemicals when homeopathic solvents can resolve it? I think it's time we all return-to-live with natural medical alternatives." And try as I like, a small crack appears in my diplomacy-dike. "By definition", I begin, "Alternative Medicine", I continue, "Has either not been proved to work, or been proved not to work. Do you know what they call 'alternative medicine' that's been proved to work? Medicine." "So you don't believe in any natural remedies?" "On the contrary Storm, actually Before I came to tea, I took a remedy derived from the bark of a willow tree A painkiller that's virtually side-effect free It's got a weird name, Darling, what was it again? M-masprin? Basprin? Oh yeah! Asprin! Which I paid about a buck for down at the local drugstore. The debate briefly abates as our hosts collects plates But as they return with desserts Storm pertly asserts: "Shakespeare said it first: There are more things in heaven and earth than exist in your philosophy... Science is just how we're trained to look at reality, It doesn't explain love or spirituality. How does science explain psychics? Auras? The afterlife? The power of prayer?" I'm becoming aware that I'm staring, I'm like a rabbit suddenly trapped in the blinding headlights of vacuous crap. Maybe it's the Hamlet she just misquothed or the 5th glass of wine I just quaffed But my diplomacy dike groans and the arsehole held back by its stones can be held back no more: "Look, Storm, sorry I don't mean to bore you but there's no such thing as an aura! Reading Auras is like reading minds or tea-leaves or star-signs or meridian lines These people aren't applying a skill, they're either lying or mentally ill. Same goes for people who claim they hear God's demands or Spiritual healers who think they've magic hands. By the way, why do we think it is it OK for people to pretend they can talk to the dead? Isn't that totally fucked in the head? Lying to some crying woman whose child has died and telling her you're in touch with the other side? I think that's fundamentally sick Do we need to clarify here that there's no such thing as a psychic? What are we, fucking 2? Do we actually think that Horton Heard a Who? Do we still believe that Santa brings us gifts? That Michael Jackson didn't had facelifts? Are we still so stunned by circus tricks that we think that the dead would wanna talk to pricks like John Edwards? Storm to her credit despite my derision keeps firing off clichés with startling precision like a sniper using bollocks for ammunition "You're so sure of your position but you're just closed-minded I think you'll find that your faith in Science and Tests is just as blind as the faith of any fundamentalist" "Wow that's a good point, let me think for a bit. Oh wait, my mistake, that's absolute bullshit. Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed. Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved. If you show me that, say, homeopathy works, then I will change my mind I'll spin on a fucking dime I'll be embarrassed as hell, but I will run through the streets yelling 'It's a miracle! Take physics and bin it! Water has memory! And while it's memory of a long lost drop of onion juice seems Infinite It somehow forgets all the poo it's had in it!' You show me that it works and how it works And when I've recovered from the shock I will take a compass and carve 'Fancy That' on the side of my cock." Everyone's just staring now, But I'm pretty pissed and I've dug this far down, So I figure, in for penny, in for a pound: "Life is full of mysteries, yeah But there are answers out there And they won't be found by people sitting around looking serious and saying 'Isn't life mysterious?' 'Let's sit here and hope. Let's call up the fucking Pope. Let's go watch Oprah interview Deepak Chopra.' If you wanna watch tele, you should watch Scooby Doo. That show was so cool because every time there was a church with a ghoul or a ghost in a school They looked beneath the mask and what was inside? The fucking janitor or the dude who ran the waterslide. Because throughout history every mystery ever solved has turned out to be Not Magic. Does the idea that there might be knowledge frighten you? Does the idea that one afternoon on Wiki-fucking-pedia might enlighten you frighten you? Does the notion that there may not be a supernatural so blow your hippy noodle that you'd rather just stand in the fog of your inability to Google? Isn't this enough? Just this world? Just this beautiful, complex, wonderfully unfathomable, natural world? How does it so fail to hold our attention that we have to diminish it with the invention of cheap, man-made myths and monsters? If you're so into your Shakespeare, lend me your ear: "To gild refined gold, to paint the lily, to throw perfume on the violet... is just fucking silly" Or something like that. Or what about Satchmo?! "I see trees of Green, Red roses too," And fine, if you wish to glorify Krishna and Vishnu in a post-colonial, condescending bottled-up and labeled kind of way then whatever, that's ok. But here's what gives me a hard-on: I am a tiny, insignificant, ignorant bit of carbon. I have one life, and it is short and unimportant... But thanks to recent scientific advances I get to live twice as long as my great great great great uncleses and auntses. Twice as long to live this life of mine Twice as long to love this wife of mine Twice as many years of friends and wine Of sharing curries and getting shitty at good-looking hippies with fairies on their spines and butterflies on their titties. And if perchance I have offended Think but this and all is mended: We'd as well be 10 minutes back in time, for all the chance you'll change your mind.

[@JohnJohnson-ok4gf]

Now try to memorize it. :)

[@ciaranbyrnedempsey2524]

Fucking hell

[@juliehowe3]

John Johnson apparently “Mollie Star” (posted 5 years ago) did. She says she did it for her performing arts exam!

[@furtado704]

People who put the lyrics/ text in the comments are just superior to other people. Or at least better than me, what is admitedly very little.

[@basosz]

@@JohnJohnson-ok4gf Took me a few tries, but yeah, I can recite this from beginning to end :D

[@xepher42]

How have I never seen this until now? This was brilliant! Beautiful, lyrical poetry, on top of hard truths and realities. Just amazing!

[@rchuso]

Tim is _most_ entertaining. I love the Midsummer Night's Dream conclusion. :-)

[@dong.7519]

creative writing at its finest

[@marksieving7925]

Absolutely my favorite bit from Tim Minchin, and I like quite a lot of his material.

[@carloselerma]

i love him and his poetry so damn much, i love how he thinks god damn it hes my idol

[@574nc3]

Brilliant. Love this piece.

[@NiamhCarolan1]

I absolutely love this!

[@stephaniemedina1848]

I just have listened to him today what a talent🐱🌹🌷💃🌞🌈

[@SuperTwilightFanX]

I'm proud to say I know this off by heart! Thanks Tim :)

[@bradygasm69]

I think we should all say a prayer for the 2 friends Tim lost after performing this.

[@JosefinBorgman]

This one never gets old.

[@Nebol]

I'm in awe of how brilliant this is...

[@marcushirt1232]

Absolutely brilliant. :)

[@JCurtisDrums]

This is a stunning performance. His lyrical weaving is mesmerising.

[@rajanogray9088]

That was brilliant! A poet for our age!

[@seren3797]

Absolutely love this

[@hazardsigns]

I love this poem. My favourite Tim Minchin creation

[@MrDrummerboi182]

I love how he never takes a sip of his wine until the very end

[@igordasunddas3377]

Great! :) I like it. I also got a couple of Storms in my life, but I tell them off as soon as I recognize them.

[@JanetArnold1257]

That was awesome!

[@PHILPAF]

One of the brightest minds living today!

[@luckynater]

couldn't agree more! love this bit

[@riparianlife97701]

How does he do it? I can't memorize a phone number.

[@thelolmaster1997]

Generally you don't recite phone numbers hundreds of times across several years And they're not fun tales

[@riparianlife97701]

thelolmaster1997 I still think the guy has an amazing talent. Keep in mind he's not only writing and memorizing all these words, he's performing them, producing a play, acting, and raising a daughter.

[@voorp]

Docktor Jim Fun thing is, because this rhymes it's actually easier to remember than stories that don't rhyme

[@thelolmaster1997]

Docktor Jim You're right man, I'm not denying the talent, I'm just making a point

[@Nyruami]

Well for a fact he IS a professional actor, and memorizing a 9 minute beat poem isn´t much harder, if at all, than memorizing the complete text he had as Jesus in JC-Superstar, which he hadn´t even written himself.

[@drbobinski1]

First introduced to Tim on the Origins Podcast with Lawrence Krauss. When he was placed with the likes of Darwin and Einstein I wondered why LK would have supported such affiliations. I cried foul. So I began my research into Tim here on KZbin. I now regret not having had him in my life for the past 10 years. Wow what genius. Just subscribed.

[@christopherkelly5822]

This god of thought has preserved my beliefs. Thank you Sir.

[@simonenolan1916]

You are an amazing pianist and a true creative mind absoloutly brilliant.

[@carritrj]

Holly shit. I loved this. I have had one to many of these all to similar conversations and this had me feeling the emotions as if i were in the situation instead. I would not have been so able as to hold myself from response for that long though.

[@jasonleejames_official]

MORE RELEVANT NOW THAN EVER.

[@msg2099]

I love this!!!!!

[@DonHammonds]

Thanks, Tim.

[@DanteneNyx]

This is the best version of this poem that I’ve found

[@renatastarshyne9237]

You're simply awesome, I just don't know how to say what I feel when I watch to your videos. I am your mega fan! And I hope maybe someday to watch your show here in Brazil (in Porto Alegre, most specifically)! Ah, your acting in the movie "Two Fists, One Heart" was flawless and stainless! I loved it. Congrats and may your success keep growing more and more, 'cause you deserve it!

[@silvershocknicktail6638]

There's something weird about the lighting that makes that microphone look like it's photoshopped in afterwards.

[@avszefst2888]

+Silvershock Nicktail I agree.

[@wicket1800]

+Silvershock Nicktail really? you watched one of the most incredibly evocative performances ever and you're worried about if the mic was shopped?

[@silvershocknicktail6638]

wicket "Worried" is a weird word for it. I've heard "Storm" many times, so you'll forgive me if I'm not struck dumb by it.

[@jilliansmith7123]

Wasn't that a blue light? It also made the back half of his hair blue. There's a name for it that I can't remember right now, that kind of lighting..

[@mandrewsvideos]

PURE GENIUS

[@Coastfog]

Beyond brilliant...

[@cheesewrapper2509]

The only person who I've seen do a sort of slam poetry that doesn't make me cringe is Tm. what a talent.

[@SevenEllen]

AWESOME poem. :-))

[@tubetomarcato]

Brilliant and suddenly more relevant in these Stormy times

[@dylanheraid4611]

Hey two years ago Antonio , what stormy times are you referring too

[@bevcd3625]

Pure genius. 👏👏👏✌️

[@DianeCranson]

I just love this

[@685Sunflake]

My friends and I always tries to recite this when we're together!

[@steviepii1389]

I love the animated short you did on this!! well done.

[@birdbyod9372]

Ty, awsome

[@LibRoseITM]

Having been in both positions of "Storm" and Tim, I really, really appreciate this :'D It makes me cringe to think of how I used to be ToT

[@allancox7489]

No, you should be proud of the fact that you had the courage to put the truth above your ego and change your mind. This is a rare and valuable quality.

[@LibRoseITM]

@@allancox7489 awww, thank you!

[@metalshorty0]

Amazing.

[@reubenmood3890]

Truly THE GREATEST (modern) BEAT POEM OF ALL!!!

[@JeremieBPCreation]

I'm in love!

[@sylviapage61]

I love the bit where he's just given up on being diplomatic and he keeps almost taking a drink but stopping to say another line

[@kamranbanan5181]

I love it! I was just writing a 2 page angry rant to a supposedly PhD professor who thinks Homeopathy and other alternative medicine work and teaches us these things! and your song just cranked me up. just awesome

[@StaceyStaser]

his MEMORY

[@TAHNZ100]

I cant wait for the book!!!

[@nonoozabletodogmaisaiah4577]

God damn would have artistic poet! I hope you live as long as you want to!

[@marcmedina4376]

Freaking BRILLIANT!

[@85Spawn85]

You are awesome.

[@novablazepops]

i went to see him live in the royal albert hall in london was really awesome

[@jmadraszewska]

i would pay a shitload of money to see him live jfc i lov him so much