Story Time: We Lost One Of The Girls | Update on Imz :)

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Story Time: We Lost One Of The Girls | Also An Update On Imz ♥️
I recently saw a video discussing one of Angelina Jolie's adoption. Zahara, her daughter, was adopted from Ethiopia. At the time, she was barely walking. She's now a young woman. The video was discussing how Zahara's family wants the child back.
It was interesting reading up the different opinions. The first thing that came to my mind was, "But why now?!"
It was more interesting because we were going through the same thing. We recently lost one of the girls to her other family. To say we were heartbroken is an underestimate.
But I wanted to have a proactive conversation. I often wonder what we could have done better to prepare ourselves and her. If you are someone raising a child that's not biologically yours, would you be prepared to give them up?
I have also included an update on Imz and why you haven't seen her lately ❤️

[@DzunyB]

For the sake of the child I really think the situation could've been handled better, visitations would've been best scenario especially if you then think about separating her from her sisters. It's yet another loss for the child coz now she doesn't get to be with the "real family " she has which are her sisters. The best thing would really be starting the conversation so u can also monitor somehow of her wellbeing and to reunite her with her siblings

[@NozibeleQamngana]

I absolutely agree with you. I just don't know what I can do next. Our emotions really took over. I wish we could have handled it better.

[@okuhledyomfana3707]

I agree, I also think the situation could have been handled better. At 12 years that's a huge decision to make especially since she doesn't know the other family whatsoever and umama is strict. It's when you are old that you realized that actually all those curfews, disciple etc. saved me from a lot sonke sikhuliswe ngelohlobo. At 12 you just want to play estratweni kude kube late, you don't want rules so it's a given she will go where she will feel like kumandi khona. I hope she's safe with the new family cause izinto zinintsi. Visitations could have worked out better, cause she had the right to know her paternal side if she wanted to. I think you guys shouldn't have given out ultimatums but I understand emotions were high. I do believe though that when she's older she will come back because you guys are the family she knows ans her sisters. God forbid but in future if a similar situation with the 2 girls left occurs, please handle it better.

[@lorrainemadure2837]

I think my main problem is the aunties who fought for the child. I believe they're actually after the grant. Otherwise they could've been there even when the mom was still alive. Some people do this and not even fully care for the child. Some kids end up being abused under such peoples care. They must allow the child to visit her sisters. At least you guys will know if she's well taken care off.

[@blinkym21]

@@lorrainemadure2837 I totally agree, sounds like the motive of the aunts was to redirect the grant to them, my fear too would be abuse , and also here is a father who was incarcerated and no one knows how his time in prison affected him, will he automatically be able to be a good and responsible father to this young girl who is actually coming of age😞

[@sips_mkutukana]

@@blinkym21 the way I am worried ngaye. May God cover umntana bethuna 🥺🥺🥺

[@heathermbambeni529]

I was raised by my stepmother from 18 months to 18 years old,when I was 18 in my Matric this lady rocked up at my house and when I asked my mom(stepmother)ba ngubani,she said,"she is your real mother" I was shocked and excited...following year I moved in with her and there was no explanation ba why she was not involved or whatsoever and I started having resentment towards her,eventually I moved out and I spent most of my life angry and in my head she was dead,only last year December I decided to go see her ...I am ok sometimes but I could use a good cry or two

[@heathermbambeni529]

And my Dad passed away last year March 💔😭and now I don't know how to really connect with my mom,I still prefer my stepmother

[@ntombiyenhlanhlakunene313]

@@heathermbambeni529 talk to your Mom love..if it's hard write her a letter and share how you are feeling with her...your feelings are valid...most of our parents don't know how to start a conversation..they'll rather sweep things under the rug hoping they will disappear but that makes things worse...You were 18 when she came back surely at the back of her mind she knows you have questions....Iam sorry about your dad....life is too short indeed you don't want to have unanswered questions for the rest of your life when the person with all the answers is still alive....who knows she might also need this conversation just like you do...and it will create a better bond between you

[@wanderingcucamber7082]

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@wanderingcucamber7082]

@@ntombiyenhlanhlakunene313 thank you for this comment and perspective 🙏🏽🙏🏽 blessings you you for always!

[@cubacubadee5999]

Please talk to your mom(stepmom),especially now she’s the only person you’d connect better and heal together after loosing your dad,she needs you🤞I can tell she treated you well like her own for you to only find out at 18 about your real mom♥️do have a relationship with your real mom thou,but if it was me I wasn’t gonna try to find out uba why she wasn’t in the picture,but it’s up to you Nana,healing power over your entire being Nana&peace that surpasses all understanding♥️💋♥️

[@mpilonhlelebuna9116]

❤️❤️❤️very informative conversation, I brought up my nephew from 2 months ,mind you ma sister is alive and is 31 years old. I am only 22 buh raised the kid because both parents didn't want him. Now his 8 , very intelligent at school and has alot of potential. After 8 long years nkosi yam the father appears out of no where and wants to claim him. I was so furious, the saddest part is that there was never even one phone call from them, and they both where aware that they have a kid. He knows me as his parent , and I'm currently battling that, and it's draining because lawfully they are his parents. So nje it hurts💔💔, I'm sorry but I'm never raising no one's kid again neeeveeer😭. It's too much

[@yandie_z]

Strength to you ❤️

[@Dipuo_MS]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🌻🌻.

[@everythingmore3401]

💔💔I feel you💔💔

[@mamellomphahlele6965]

Askies hle Nozi💗❤️

[@lorrainemadure2837]

Strength to you my sis, may God bless you for what you did for your nephew. You took over a parent's role when he was rejected. Your nephew will never forget you, he know you as a parent. No matter what happens, I pray God comfort you, and because of what u did for ur nephew, may your own future kids not lack anything in life.

[@nomaswatiskenjana5718]

From experience, I really think you made a good decision here. The visitations would have caused more heartache and quarrels which is very unhealthy for all parties involved!

[@mrsmett5512]

”Untill God gives us our own” Likhona ithemba Uyeza u Ozayo.🤩🤩🤩

[@elizabethletsoso2558]

Amen to that was always praying for the coming one 🥰

[@lifewithgeegee]

In Imz side it’s tricky because her mom is alive, and her mom will always be her mom

[@elizabethletsoso2558]

Very true

[@zamabhelentangana]

It's the kitchen for me 😍😍😍 ... Been meaning to compliment it

[@nontlantlajongola7414]

Yhooo Nozi😭😭its painful into yabantwana. MNA I'm raising a 3 months old baby ka cousin sister wam. Umntana was born with breathing difficulties, last she was admitted e Dora oko silapha she's in ICU. The mother doesnt care she doesnt know what is happenig with her child. But God is there, I know tomorrow or 5 yes to come she can come and take her child and there is nothing we can do as a family with that even though it will be painfull. Be strong sisi you and your family.❤

[@nandeengaujake8284]

Thanks for speaking English I really enjoyed this video.Raising other peoples children is not an easy task for sho

[@mapasekamoremi6782]

So sorry one of the girls had to go Nozi. Ohh we will miss Imz as well. My Mother raised my aunt's and uncle's kids. And all I can say is, I do not want to raise anyone's child. Experienced this at first hand. Thanks for sharing your story. 😘😘

[@hoppykubs1368]

Raising another person's child it's the most difficult thing ever...It broke my heart when I raised my late cousin's them years later they told him I killed his mom..Thinking i had to stop my dreams and go look for a job so I can provide while his grandmother and dad were alive.I learnt to love people from a distance..I never understood why they told I killed his mom but I'm grateful honestly cause now Im pushing and ready to welcome my 2nd.I was so sad that I'm going to have another child and all that but something really happened for a reason😊Now I'll focus on me and my kids..I pray some day he sees how much I loved him as my own but I love him from a distance now and that's okay

[@omphilemoerane2569]

It's terrible. My mom has a friend whose step daughter was fighting her for the right to bury her father after this woman did everything for her and took care of her from the time she was still a baby. Situations like this will make us fear to sacrifice for people we love. Congratulations on your second pregnancy. Everything is going to be alright❤️

[@hoppykubs1368]

@@omphilemoerane2569 Thank you ♥️ it life lessons and I'll never help anyone.

[@sips_mkutukana]

In my opinion, the Social worker failed the child. Knowing the factors that influence a minor’s decision making, she should’ve at least opted for her to get to know the family first through visitations and so on. There is a whole reunification process that social workers have to follow before placing a child kwi family yakhe. I understand nani beningafuni, but that is the least you all could’ve done for the child to transition better and adjust kwi family that she doesn’t know. These situations are tricky, I know and I fear for the mental health yomntwana. I hope you are still communicating naye to make her aware that she’s welcome nanini na efuna ubuya. Somewhere in my teens nam I wanted to go live with my father because I thought the grass was greener. I also have a strict mom (ufana nje noFezi), and I thought kuzoba better kwa tata. But my stepmom wayengandifuni so it was never gonna happen. Now I’m actually glad that wish never came true.

[@lungisamsutu8353]

I personally think adopting a relative or family members children is the worst and would eventually put you through the most. Rather go for children who are up for adoption/ abandoned. By law the parents have been officially relinquished (or Forfeited) of their rights and responsibilities as parents. They are not allowed near those children, infact some would never show their faces cause they are hunted by law and need to go to Jail. You know moss ityala aliboli.

[@Maelly851]

Mina I've learnt the hard way💔💔, leave people's kids alone ,love them from a distance don't get too attached ,especially if their biological parents are still alive base kabi abanye abazali

[@nomaswatiskenjana5718]

exactly

[@yozareason1803]

Even if the parents are no more, when the kids are older and finished varsity, you see other people coming closer and influencing the kids, my mum went through the most with people's kids but funny enough she's still helping others!!! 🤔💆

[@nkonkobeap9692]

@@yozareason1803 Exactly what I am going through. The level of disrespect and ungratefulness I doubt I will ever help someone else's child.

[@yozareason1803]

@@nkonkobeap9692 I'm sorry to hear that, surely God will reward you, one day they'll remember what you've done for them, but please if you can, help those in need 🙏 remember you are not really doing it for them, people are so ungrateful don't expect anything from them, but continue to help them if you can

[@khanyisagura4377]

@@yozareason1803 I really like your Mom!! What a heart!! I want to be like her.

[@shupiwekalililo1903]

i think letting a child make such a big decision was a big mistake, please ensure you check up on her! to know how she is doing.

[@zandilemawela2682]

Jonga sis Nozie as painful as it is incede yanesigqibo esivakalayo zibekwa. Fezlele might be hurting for losing her child but her present heartache is nothing compared to what was she gonna go through should that girl chose to stay with her sekukho le family intsha "yaklotata wakhe" 🤞. I am an orphan I know how difficult it is to raise us. Yabona le yenzekileyo-nimbulele uThixo ngayo. I pray that she is not taken away from u ngenxa yeFoster care grant&that she won't find herself bein a nanny to her partenal cousins or even to her step mother's kids. I hope that family will protect&guide her bongeze kwiFoundation ka Fezie ukumenza umntu obhinqileyo ongcono ngomso. Sending you guys soo much strength❤️uThixo ke akawadli amandla elungisa-mkhulu umvuzo wenu ngokubavulela nibanike ikhaya.🤞😊

[@nombusophetha]

My sisters and I are being raised by our aunt (not blood related), it has been over decade since our parents have passed away. My aunt encouraged us to have the relationship with our families(both sides), we are old now and we would never leave my aunt for my blood family, well I know I won't. That woman raised us to her best ability, by herself without any help. Our situation is different from this one because our parents are no more,so atleast no one can really come and claim us. Bless your heart and your moms❤

[@elizabethletsoso2558]

Nombuso well said sisi I really love your comment 💕

[@roselineuiras8603]

It's so sad to hear this Nozi. There is only so much one can do to prepare one's self for things like this.

[@nomfundogumede4725]

Someone from the comments said "leave people's kids alone, love them from a distance" I felt that💔😢

[@BakhoM]

In the situation yee girls that was not possible kodwa, Nozi said their father's families never offered to take them after their mother died😢.

[@mrsmett5512]

Eish, I am nervous because we are about to adopt my sister’s child. She is single and the father of the child is totally not involved in the girl’s life. We are agreeing with my sister. My hubby is so excited and he never had a child and I could not give him a child. We just want to raise this girl and give her a better life in Sweden.

[@elizabethletsoso2558]

I felt that nomfundo too 💔🥰

[@zimkhithanyovane3444]

I feel so sorry for the child in all of this .. may God protect u and ur husband.

[@lorrainemadure2837]

Nozi please when u go to PE, even if it's a Facebook live, we need Imz to just say molweni please. Thank you

[@beyondsuits_]

I would have expected the social worker to do a thorough due diligence. It cannot be that a 12 year old is allowed to take such decisions. I really wish you can perhaps try reach out and at least maintain relationship between the child and the siblings.

[@anelezimba6515]

I can relate to your story Nozi I'm currently raising my sister's child last year they visited my mom together with my two kids yhooo when she came back like you would find her crying which breaks my heart coz I love her with all my heart but deep down i know the will be a day where she wants to stay with my mom and her mom it's just so heart breaking to even think about it 💔

[@nqobilekhowa6721]

This is so sad. My family can relate to this and honestly it’s always a win or lose situation. And yes at the end of the day, the biological parent always has the last say nomatter how you would feel and no matter how many years you’ve raised their child without assistance.

[@phumbambalaza9672]

Nozi this topic heat home I took care of my cousin's daughter till she graduated and then things changed she began to know her mom and her mom' s sibblings and I became a bad person.Yes I am happy she acknowledges her mom but I never though we won't have a relationship.To tell the truth it hurts and I told myself I will never adopt no ones child.However I realised that its life and the reality when we do good to others lets trust God to do the rest.I am a strict person I admit but I am a loving and supportive as well. God knows your mom's heart and your heart continue to do good.God will bless you with your child.

[@TheNtombi]

Oh marn I feel you Sisi, so.much has been taken away from you😌😌,I just hope that Shishi comes back next year.❤️❤️🌹

[@FreshHarvestHomestead]

To be honest when I was younger I told myself that I would never adopt, but as I grew older I realized that as a person grows older they will always want to know where they come from inorder to figure life out and if I was adopted I would like to know where I'm coming from and why my parents didn't raise me so now I can adopt a child and when they find out I would actually encourage them to meet their parents even though I know it will hurt but I would let them do whatever they want because I will be adopting from the goodness of my heart and if they feel like I'm not their parent enough they can leave and be with who they think will be better than me.

[@ntombiyenhlanhlakunene313]

Don't be too hard on yourself after everything that has happened...You had good intentions...there is no manual for such matters....You and your Mom did the best you could when no one was willing to...ofcourse your response to them rocking up out of no where was going to come from an emotional state..you can't fix what has already happened...moving forward since you still have 2 more girls you are taking care of that's when you can consider doing things differently if history repeats itself....if I may add I think you Nozi particularly is going through a transformation....God is doing something behind the scenes with your life..first it was your job now Imi and one of the girls..trust me this is all Gods plan and only him knows the reasons behind all this loss....all I know is it's for your own good even if it doesn't look or feel like it at this moment...sometimes we fail to see Gods purpose because we are not him..we will always see things with our human eyes..especially because He does his thing without warning or assurance...but we just have to keep trusting him...His plan is always greater then our own....there will be a day when everything will be clear and you will see why things happened the way they are happening...now keep your head up high ...you are amazing ❤

[@NozibeleQamngana]

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

[@chosennotforsaken]

Well said. I think God does everything so we can testify about His Greatness and bring Him glory. The crushing is tough but it benefits us in one way or another 🌞❣️

[@cubacubadee5999]

Yhe Sana uyitye yonke yeva🤣🤞♥️Laqa!Youmake sooo much sense♥️

[@BakhoM]

It's a hard one Nozzy, I think you and your mom were over protective which is understandable.I have a feeling she will come back, but if she doesn't it's fine. Once your emotions have come down,you and your mom need to find out if you can have access to her. I'm sure her sisters would also like to spend some time with her. I can assure you, she feels bad that she chose her other family.When you see her,please let her know that you understand & that you are not mad at her❤️.

[@robyn-leeliya8856]

Love you Nozi ❤️ your channel is so informative and entertaining. Really enjoy your videos

[@NozibeleQamngana]

Thank you so so much 🙏

[@willardpika9345]

a part of me is happy that the child went to her father with the hope she's happy there. so many of us are broken because of absent fathers. Had she stayed with you'll without a relationship with her father she would have grown hate towards you'll from depriving her that relationship. I do hope she comes back eventually

[@gracenovie]

Love you Nozi! So sad to hear that Imz is not coming back. She had the best time with her Dabs & Uncle Skhu ❤️❤️

[@elizabethletsoso2558]

Say that again again 💯

[@veemas1641]

Thank you Nozi for always coming forward with these topics that we are so necessary yet very few are willing to bring them up.

[@mongwaitshephangkekana4876]

What the social worker said is actually very simplistic. What the child wants is actually just a factor. What’s overall considered is the best interest of the child - and on that basis, the child has a better chance of being in a stable environment with you guys than the father.

[@Miz-B]

You have soooo much love to give hun. Sending tonnes and tonnes of baby dust to you. Love your honesty & content.

[@MammusoMosikili]

😂I can relate, I lived with my niece the whole of last year 😂 and every time she comeback from visiting her parents 😂she would histaricully cry. 😂And she told her parents I am too strict. Her parents let her get away with everything. While with me, I made her follow a routine ml -Like waking up and brushing her teeth. -When she got back from school, she had food then we did homework, around 6PM bath time and 7PM she was already in bed. - She was only allowed to watch cartoons on weekends and she went in shame😂baby girl wouldn't move in front of that TV. -And I never allowed her to watch your drama series etc. She watched cartoons and movies for kids her age. My son is 1 years old and I have also structured a routine for him. From breakfast/lunch/dinner , nap time, bath time and play time.

[@aviwesobantu4408]

Funny story when I first heard about this channel a friend recommended it to me, I thought she said your name is Noziqa(name) Mngana (Surname)😍😂😂- I love you sis Noz keep educating us, and continue doing the lord’s work ❤️

[@BubuhleGobodo]

Noziqa 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@acceptinglife6491]

I'm sure bakhona ooNoziqa phandl'apha 😅

[@teachermomfoundation4038]

😂🤣ohhh hayi igama elinjalo @Aviwe!

[@timbawangu3038]

Imz just has a mind of her own😅💕 The new baby sibling did not help matters

[@siphiwenikiwe5140]

I think you guys, you did your best to raise them it up to them if they wanna continue living with you or not. God will bless you.

[@ncebakazihonono951]

This topic gives me chills, but ke at the end of the day kids choose their parents and nothing we can do. I think if anyone plans to adopt, they should have expectations like these from the beginning so when it happens it's not like "huh".

[@boitumelosinesiphotabata1603]

I can feel the pain in your voice Nozi. May all be well with you, at the right time, the Lord will do it. We love you ❤️

[@118357intle]

I went through or rather going through something similar. I feel like it's completely unfair to have a minor make their own decision when it comes to who to stay with. My situation is a co-parenting situation and my heart stops a little when I think of it. However, I've had to really adopt a new way of thinking regarding the matter. I'd love to chat about this on email or a more private platform. Many people are going through this, it's a pity we don't talk about it enough

[@phiwosweetness9945]

Wow Nozi thank you for sharing sis, Mna ndifuna ukuthi don't be too hard on yourselves and don't dwell too much on the past and what you could have done better, we all learn from our mistakes and you guys did what you thought and believed was best for then girls. Forgive yourselves for God has forgiven you, however moving forward seek His guidance on what's best for the girls, akukho lula ukhulisa umntwana nditsho sele ingowakho and I speak from my own experience as a young single mom to 3 boys, 2 of which are are coming of age, the anger, and resentment of why are we not together as their parents is a lot sthandwa sam, oko ndingakhange ndiphelele kwi psychiatric hospital last year uThixo mkhulu I tell you. I pray that you heal sthandwa sam, uThixo akongezelele amandla to keep doing what you do. May you find comfort in the fact you did everything you knew and thought was best, and that maybe, just maybe things had to happen the way they did for a reason. I love you mama, keep shining my angel❤❤❤

[@ontlametsetirelo4146]

We want to see Nozi and Mpoomy together 😊😊❤️❤️

[@andamdlokolo7226]

I really understand where you Nozi and your mother were coming from in this situation.🤗🤗❤ But all things work together for the good . ❤❤

[@thetasteofsongo6941]

Yeah this video was so vulnerable, thank you for sharing. But I think it's important for the other siblings that are with your mom to be in contact with their sibling. It is important that they also keep that bond because they will need it as they grow up and not feel astray from each other. I think the father should also be a parent to them to even if they don't live with them. It just makes things easier so they don't feel that void of not having both parents while other one does. And the one they took naye should be in contact with you guys still. I think both family's should help each other in raising all 3 children.

[@khanyisagura4377]

Kids are very loyal to their blood parents. I learned this very quickly with my nephew. You can love them from here to the galaxy BUT when that parent steps in, ah I'm telling you, you will see dust. It is what it is. Love the kids well but know the truth.

[@elizabethletsoso2558]

Soo true

[@angelamokhabela5199]

So true. They'll always want and love their biological parents more no matter how much love they receive from you and how much rejection they receive from their biological side. It's tricky.

[@swazi4769]

God works in His own way. See the lesson here and act. Nuff said.

[@lisatati5350]

Umntana womntu yingxaki, I learnt from my mom's experience. Nathi we took others sisithi siyanceda.

[@keepitfrankwithfentse]

Nozi. I commend you for wanting to step in to help raise the girls. My cousin is a children's court judge and when I was doing some research for a friend I asked her about a similar situation to yours. She basically said according to our laws biological parents will majority of the time win custody cases because they are the child's blood unless if some extremely rare circumstance causes the judge to rule otherwise. However what should have happened was mediation together with the social worker and and the child present to "slowly" introduce the idea to the child of getting to know her father and his family. Its a sad situation all around but my cousin says she always rules based off of what is best for the child. Don't feel bad for wanting to help when indeed help was needed...when the girls are older or is they see that the life they were living with you guys was more stable conversations will begin. Wishing you love and light!

[@sharonchristians8906]

Kjoh I am so sorry Nozi 😭 I kinda feel with you. I'm not married but from a young age I always wanted to adopt children like Angelina Jolie 💖 but there are reality where the parents might want their child back etc. But God sees your work. He sees your heart. He sees your tears. And He sees you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@Zama.Tembe_]

Love and light sis. You are doing so well. Such an amazing pure heart. All that you’ve done has been so beautiful. Mistakes will always be there but the most beautiful part is that you are learning and honest to yourself about everything and open to learning. You are truly a reflection of Jesus🤍

[@everythingmore3401]

You can still open the door for the her sake and also for the sake of her siblings. Apologise if you have to, yes it won't be easy but its worth the try❤❤❤ All the best❤❤❤.

[@itsyourgirltee3754]

Hi Sis Nozi i wanted to know if you and bhut Skhu could do a video about friendships when married. I.e. how to navigate friendships with the opposite sex for both male and female and navigating friendships with other married couples and friendships with other single women/men when married and the boundaries. Would love to hear your perspective on that.

[@rebeccachaka8058]

Listening to you is so liberating. There's something in you voice mahn....I think its God speaking through you 😇

[@nomsantsoane3984]

I hope she comes back when she gets older cos wow

[@elizabethletsoso2558]

Hope so too hle bathong

[@nabsynhlapho130]

My issue is with the social worker, she was suppose to do reunification services even before the father came out of prison, and when the two families did not come with a common understanding the social worker could have helped them with patenting plan. Both families needed counseling, this was huge change for all of them. Foster care and adoption are two different thingss, it is the duty of the social worker to inform the family. With foster care reunification is always there. I glad sis Nozi acknowledges that they handled the situation with so much emotions but mina i still say social worker was suppose to lead this. I suggest that with the 2girls start the conversion now dont wait for other family to show up.

[@cebisilensibande7956]

I’m sorry for what happened Nozi may God strengthen you and protect your golden heart

[@lesegoobusitse4358]

I have a12 yr old son and was thinking of adopting a baby girl as my son is pitting me underpressure of a lil sis. Was honestly thinking of adoption as i.v lost faith in men. But this video has now changed my thought Askies Nozi💞

[@johannajohannes1049]

We will miss Imz❤️ with the girl you have done the best you could and gave her the love she needed and she knows she has a home where she can come back if things don't work out with the dad's family

[@elizabethletsoso2558]

Absolutely right

[@moyagabomakgoba9487]

I can see the pain in your eyes sis😭💔

[@nozukoprudencemdingi595]

Great topic and very Informative discussions indeed! sharing your challenges and experiences will definitely help those on the same boat💞

[@Madikslife]

UThixo uzokupha abantwana abaninzi ngexesha lakhe elaziwa nguye....for now enjoy umtshato wakho sisi.

[@gomotsegangmagodielo9744]

I am also raising three kids that are no mine,and ja I pray it would not go to the point that have to loose one because I would not survive it,when not here for holiday I can feel my house is empty

[@kamvalethuzono5230]

I’m going to miss Imz❤️

[@akhonazayedwa7961]

Eish this is so sad maan, I just wish nibuyele pha kula mzi nicele uxolo hard as it would but for the sake of that little one. She only chose them kuba efuna ubazi not that uthanda bona more than nina, and also to open that door yoba if she wants angabuya. I can only imagine how her sisters are feeling🥺. Imbi maan, ibuhlungu but all the best sisi

[@nanak1602]

Aaawee man 🥺 💔 don’t want to too much into that .. 😩 Mna I pray that this year May God blessed your womb with twins 🙏🏾👶🏽👶🏽

[@chosennotforsaken]

Hi Nozi _ eish this story hits home. At 38, I genuinely would be lying if I said I have a sense of belonging. Let's just say, my parents both married different people... I am torn between the two families. I love both but being with either tears me apart as I feel like I am backstabbing the families (depending on where I am)... The family dynamics are different as well. So that complicates my life as well. So yeah: this is a touchy subject. It is worse for the child. I am speaking from the child's perspective... So sorry for what you guys experienced. It is a complicated matter. I swear. It is very complex. So much I don't know how I will accommodate everyone when/should I get married as I want everyone there. It is tough...

[@motheowalerato701]

I know what you mean 🥺🥺🥺🥺💔

[@chosennotforsaken]

@@motheowalerato701 Yeah. And at this stage, the children seem like the weirdos for having high walls and keeping a distance. Only in God we can trust babe...Our belonging is there 🌹

[@fanalihle452]

Tht feeling when ur parents both married different people it's nt ayoba feels lyk u dnt belong u jst stuck in the middle

[@mrsmett5512]

I think, you have done your part dear to be in contact with both families. The thing is they must also come into their senses and grow up and leave petty issues and unite for the sake of the children. I am in a complex situation myself and it eats me inside.

[@chosennotforsaken]

@@fanalihle452 it does. The sad thing is only the affected get it. But you know what? The Lord sees it all. He knows why. Let's trust Him 🙏 Sending you hugs and lots of kisses 🤗 You are not alone 🌹🌹

[@canisiakhanyisile2248]

Hlw Nozi. I am so so sorry. I know the feeling, I raised my husband cousin 'Son from when he was 2 years old. Went to his mom when he was 13. I was broken. Now he is 16.We love each other so much.

[@andisiwesandla443]

I pray you get everything you wish for Nozi! I really like your energy! I always watch your videos even if I don't relate! 🤣

[@Zen_Ande]

Hi Sis'Nozi. I was in this child's shoes 12 years ago. I just started a KZbin channel and I have been thinking of content to shoot for my channel. I'll talk about my experience of not longing for a father. I hope to post this video two weeks from now. Thank you so much for this video.

[@jeninnolubabalosonyabashe6133]

This is sad Nozi yet very informative. Kids love freedom they can't handle. I fully agree with what you sad a child with 2 homes becomes unstable and gets away with a lot maybe you guys can arrange her coming for school holidays to be with her siblings. Trust you me she already miss your home, Aunt's and Dad will not take care of her like your mom did, they have their lives and kids you guys are old and leave on your own meaning your mom gives full attention to them.

[@nozukomolo6964]

Eish Nozi Sisi we are raising my biological sisters daughter, her mother passed away when she was 3 and her father did not bother himself by coming to the funeral and what happened to your home ndihlale ndiyicinga ba angathi gqi athi ufuna umntanakhe after 10 years of disappearance 😩 this is not easy yhoo I am hurting but kuzolunga. I even have a picture of this in my home whoaw life ha.aa

[@Zanliye]

Well done to you and umothers for taking your nieces in after their mom’s passing. Mna I think I would do the same nam as your niece did. Ligazi kaloku even though you and your mom did a good job taking care of her. As for Imz lol I don’t blame her naye though it’s hard for you guys to let go. Lelagazi kaloku. So into ithi “ uOwam” is on the way.🤪 😂 Operation:”Owam” God’s blessing to you and your family. Watching you from New Jersey 🇺🇸 Originally from Westering,Gqebera Born eBlawa-New Brighton, eFord. I love watching you and your beautiful fun marriage especially when you talk Xhosa yase Blawa. Ndivele ndiphendule iscreen nam ngesaXhosa saseBlawa Eg”Bhotorosha” 😂 I’m sure my hubby thinks I’m crazy sometimes when I talk to the screen in my mother tongue 😂 Love and peace ✌️ ❤️

[@philisantobe5624]

The situation could have been handled better. You ( the family ) should have had the conversation with the child right at the begging of the rumor to 1. Gage what her thoughts are on her family 2. Prep and manage her own expectations. Now the child made a decision blindly so because to her, it's the greener pastures ( not to say uba nina you treated her bad ). Maybe have the conversation with the other girls as well. See where their head spaces are and what their thoughts are so you are not left making the decision on their behalf with considering their feelings and thoughts to the matter.....remember this is their life...not yours or your mom's

[@glorianafula6752]

I miss Imz but I have to bare with the situation 😰

[@OyamaMgojo]

The story of the girl really breaks my heart yazi bethuna💔💔💔. But all things happen as they should mntase, akhonto sinoyenza. Xolweni

[@ntombekayanjenje5803]

Hay kodwa Nozi ndiya khalaza ngendlela social worker wenu enze ngayo maan, so sorry u had to go through all that 💕 yhuuu kasakhumbuleki Imz ka uncle Skhu eloxesha bethuna 💔😢

[@noluyologwele1546]

The social worker should have made the validation of the court order for a limited time while allowing the child to be placed for holiday placement with the paternal family. If everything goes well perhaps after 2 years then the child can be reunified with the family. A child cannot be placed nje kanjalo with the other family that was not involved ebomini bomntana. They must build a relationship first through supervised visits, holiday placements etc. There must be process notes proving that the family is suitable and conducive for the upbringing of the child.

[@NozibeleQamngana]

Nam sis ndazi kunjalo 🥺❤️

[@noluyologwele1546]

I'm very sorry, I blame the case manager. She should have done better.

[@ncisept5900]

Our social services is failung children.

[@zona_davani]

Yhooo I’m so early. First comment❤️❤️

[@AkosuaSerwaa-]

May the Lord grant you your own children at His perfect time 🙏❤️

[@elizabethletsoso2558]

🙏🙏🙏

[@phindiwesibeko7237]

Yho we were there years back when my niece " chose" to live with her other side of the family....let's just say there hurt was unbearable.

[@ondisenikittadlisani5807]

Ohh sis nozie I totally understand how you feel...you will get used to everything that you went through. Ekugqibeleni there is a reason why God allowed one of the girls and Imz to be taken away. God is teaching you something, and one day it will be revealed. Hang in there... We love you this side #Jeffreys Bay❤️❤️❤️

[@linalesia5188]

I understand and can relate with the girl wanting to be with her father. She is probably hoping he will fill a hole left by her deceased mother. It may, it may not. Still, it is important for her to find this herself, otherwise she will blame you and be resentful towards you for the rest of her life. What I know is that at the depth of her being, she will always be part of your family. She will probably yearn for that connection later in life. Been there, done that.

[@Bonz674]

So sorry about your loss of the other daughter. I think perhaps meeting each other half way with the father and his family might have been better for both families. However, I understand the way your family reacted to the entire matter of sharing the child when she is now grown and your family has provided so much for her. I think in time the child will come back to your family, it always happens most of the time. I think right now it's just the excitement of something new to the child and I hope when she comes back you will welcome her. In regards to Imz, that is also sad coz she learnt a lot from your home environment in Jozi in such a short space of time. However, I could see from her reaction on that video she had a surprise visit from her dad that she missed him a lot. So this one is not a surprise for me. I feel for you guys, it can't be nice. I also always think about taking in one of my nieces buy always think of what could happen in the long run when she wants go back to her parents or parents want her back after I have done so much and developed so much bond with her then I stop at that. I always try to guard my heart as much as I like helping but... ☝️

[@thenoliaralarala5832]

Hi Nozi! Just to share my side of story on Imz side. I think at the same age of Imz I had to go and stay with my grandmother maternal and she was staying with her son ams her daughter in-law ( my aunt and auncle). This was also for better education. I also had to see my mom, dad and siblings every school holidays, coming back was not an easy thing I don't know how my mother soldiered that one, tears I swear you could wash loads of washing. BUT I benefited a lot. It exceeded on what it was meant for, like I say I don't know how my mother did it. I had so much opportunities to raise a child like me but I don't want to see a child crying to be with her/ his family, I am too scared of that pain. Going back to your sisters child choosing to stay with Father after you guyz have worked so hard, I know it must be painful it not because of money raising her up, it's the bond you created and plans for her future. I want to tell you something I grew up in my grandmother's place until I went to high school then I needed boarding school, that's when I couldn't stay there anymore and my grandmother passed away when I had to go to High school. My grandmother used to say "inkomo yenqoma yintsengibheka." I mean even on your sisters children that you have adopted same statement applies. But God has given you a green light now to prepare yourselves now for something like this that could happen. Your mind is open. Help is always provided up to certain extent.

[@scarlettmckinnon]

So sad,I have a nephew (1yrold),,his parents baya hlalisana n left the child with my sick mom(sclerosis).Lord knows I want him to come live with us but my fear is his father's family coming ngama waza at later stage😪💔

[@mbalisandradludlu9445]

Love you nozi ♥️♥️🌍 and thank you for the information 🔐♥️

[@sindiswasheleni262]

There’s a dilemma here, there’s also a grey area. Yes it is difficult to take someone else’s child. I think we need to be empowered about this other than having to pay big monies to the lawyers for only 30 mintes or 20 minutes of advice, again after having paid huge amounts of monies yet again. You are right Nozi, children are very manipulative, I hope you don’t blame yourself I know very well how you feel or must have felt, I’m in a similar situation right now, meanwhile I thought because everything was legally processed and done, now what, I’m very heart broken but I hope all the best for everyone especially the child.

[@sanelisiwe.yolandamagwents9465]

I am sorry Nozi, you will have your own ,its going to be fine

[@mongozimatshaya6116]

You know Nozi, thid is a very difficult situation to deal with. I took care of my step son and stayed with for a couple of years... But the mother decided to take her child back and he was 12 then.. Suddenly last year brought him back saying this is also he's father's house and mind! The teenage boy doesn't go to school anymore and she can't handle jim anymore now she's demanding that I must take him back..... These are the things we go through.

[@wanderingcucamber7082]

Strength to you! Hope the boy gets some counseling 🤲🏽🤲🏽

[@mso9057]

Thanks for sharing this topic darling. I've learned to love other people's kids from a distance and I must say it wasn't easy BUT it was the best decision I have ever made since I don't have kids of my own. You are such a blessing and hey, I like your honesty and the manner you narrate your stories. I guess you take some time to deal with whatever you experienced and when you share its you make it easy for one to understand and make PEACE! MAY GOD BLESS & KEEP YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES!

[@luba912]

Nozi you need to "candle" communication between your family and them for the sake of the child and also so she doesn't lose the relationship with her Sisters.

[@nyanisamajavu4508]

We experienced a similar situation- the child was eventually adopted by the other family. She is now 16 she was 12 when she was asked to choose which family. You are so right about children and structure- the other family is the total opposite from a discipline, structure and growth prospects perspective. But the child allegedly chose them in 2019 over us the maternal family. We were also in our feelings, but remain in prayer 🙏🏿 that some day, when she is more mature understands the extent of the decision she allegedly took. And that it does not scar her for the rest of her life 🙏🏿 There is no right or wrong with these situations- we can only do what we can, and only hope for the best outcome for the child🙏🏿 It is extremely tough though I share your pain, my mother is still healing ❤️‍🩹 from it as well as this is her eldest and first grandchild 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@maxinejafta]

I think family can never take away from stability unless there is abuse. But stability is also giving them a holistic view on stability

[@kyandrabanda8413]

In my head uNozi is my bfff bathong I can listen to her oko sana

[@NozibeleQamngana]

Hi besfled ❤️

[@kyandrabanda8413]

@@NozibeleQamngana chommmmiiiiiiii

[@pheladinare2876]

I would advise to leave imz with her parents and her sibling even in future this is for the best she can come for holidays then goes back to her family

[@thembekaboyi6718]

When the time is right uThixo uzokupha owakho umtana cc ❤

[@madalitsomarakalla9578]

I'm gonna miss Imz can she come during holidays or when you're in PE and just vlog with her. Also with your nieces, to the girl who left keep communicating with her and ask the family if she can visit her sisters too. Make it be known that she is always welcome if she wants to come back but there must be stability, she can't come back because she's done something wrong and is avoiding being punished. In this entire situation wish her the best and let's hope they don't mistreat her.

[@asiphileni8949]

One of the reasons I have not considered taking someones child even if they are struggling. I have preferred offering assistance from a distance. My take on this things are: If one decide to raise a child they must keep it in mind that they are not biological parents and at any stage the child might go to parents or the other way round. Therefore be prepared to let them go. Treat it as a donation or offering and God will bless you. I am glad you said leave peoples kids alone please. LOL I was raised by my maternal but there was a stage where I wanted to know my paternal and I was happy knowing them.