Storytime About How I LOST My Pretty Privilege-Social Climbing Cautionary Tale

Рет қаралды 11,737

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 120

@carmendellee 2 ай бұрын

I’ve noticed that in this society, discipline is often overlooked. A lot of people don’t realize how powerful discipline is. Being disciplined gives you power and opportunities. Once I started being disciplined, that was when the doors started opening up for me. 💅

@ExoticalsUnited 2 ай бұрын

Yes I agree !

@taesimmer 2 ай бұрын

I've been both attractive and unattractive by societal (American) standards. When I was unattractive no one was checking for me and men would call me ugly. When I finished Accutane and my severe acne was gone, they couldn't stop cat calling me. As for women, they started to see me as an enemy before they even got to know me. So yeah, I learned pretty early on not the gaf what people think because everyone, is "vain" lol.

@imandalton4227 2 ай бұрын

I'm 43 and in perimenopause and the struggle to do the bare minimum hygiene chores is like climbing a mountain sometimes, especially during that time of the month. All I want to do is sleep during those times and if I take a shower, brush my teeth, and put my hair in a bun, that may be all I have in me for the first 2 days of that time of the month. We women need to give ourselves grace to rest and reset every month without feeling guilty about it. I usually cook 5 days a week, 2 meals a day, for a family of 6 and me resting for 3 to 4 days out of the month won't stop the universe. Have a bare minimum routine- shower, floss, brush teeth, 3 step face routine, make your bed, stretch routine, open a window for fresh air, light an incense or candle, drink some tea with lemon, eat some food with fiber and get your 8 hours of sleep. Stay fabulous ladies, get those planners and check ✔️ the little goals off just like the big ones. We can do it ladies ❤

@fantasiawebb5687 2 ай бұрын

Agreed. Taking a break for a few days is not the end of the world.

@LaKymana 2 ай бұрын

This is me. 44, and I love a sustainable beauty and Maintenance routine. Clean and put together is my vibe also a planner helps me to keep my life in order. Mind, spirit and soul are my primary focus as well. Work life balance matters, rest and reset ❤

@ExoticallyExotical 2 ай бұрын

❤ yes pouring into ourselves is a must

@5050TM 2 ай бұрын

God bless you 🙏🏽❤

@mathildapotter2209 Ай бұрын

if you can afford it, hormone replacement therapy is AWESOME❤

@jasmyn.shanae 2 ай бұрын

so few channels talk about the discipline of beauty, and i really appreciate when you share your personal experiences. 💜💜💜

@ExoticalsUnited 2 ай бұрын

Thank you so much!!

@LadyAnahita 2 ай бұрын

Wake up babe exoticals united dropped a video (ill listen doing my workout)

@Heyjennydee 2 ай бұрын

Going thru this issue rn. I spent TWO YEARS growing out my hair without lighting /coloring at all. For context My hair probably only grows about a half inch a month (very slowly) and had previously been lightened to platinum blonde (naturally medium-dark ash brown) So it FINALLYY got long, like past my mid back. And i was sooo happy 😍✨💅🏻 i felt soo good about myself. I had lost 50 lbs, (still have more to go) and my hair was long and healthy! Soo long story short i decided to treat myself for my bday and get my hair done. I am a cosmetologist myself, so I let the girl know what my hair had been through in the past and that it was going to basically be a color. Correction where she would lighten just my regrowth only and then add some low lights and a partial highlight. She was OK with doing that and said it would look like the picture. This girl had an award on her chair for being the best stylist there for five years… SUCH LIES!! she botched me. Idk what the hell she did. But it broke sooo badly that i had to chop it above my shoulders. She died the entire most part of my hair, a very dark golden brown, which is hideous. I did not want dark hair at all.!! And then she highlighted the whole underneath and left it a disgusting, dark yellow, and the worst part is I can’t do anything to touch it because I am afraid that I will lose what I have left 😢😢 So basically, please pray for me guys because I feel so ugly and I’m so sad because it takes a very long time for my hair to grow and I just feel like what’s the point of even bothering anymore with getting dressed because my hair is a big part of my look I don’t have a big butt at all, I don’t have the body. I do have a pretty face and I know how to dress and my hair really adds to my look…. Ugh. ANYWAYSS lol if u read this far thank you for hearing my pain. Great video !! ❤

@ExoticalSauce 2 ай бұрын

OMG!!! Hugs❤ That's why I have issues with trusting hairstylists because I had a few experiences like this too! I hope you can re-grow your hair back and fix the damage! That is traumatic af!! A woman's hair is super important to us❤💕❤💕

@Heyjennydee 2 ай бұрын

@ thank youu soo much ❤️❤️ i hope so too!! 😂😩 and i am a cosmetologist myself so i thought id be good at weeding out a bad stylist, but she passed all the tests! BUT i did not ask to see a portfolio. 🚨MAJOR MISTAKE! 🚨ladies please learn from me! Now im 33 and i have to waste the few good years i have left to look cute on growing out my hair. That could have all been time i was looking fabulous and using it to my advantage. 😔💔

@yahainHotPink 2 ай бұрын

😩😩😩 One day at a time. So sorry for this terrible experience. 💖

@nono-tg8dn 2 ай бұрын

That is so traumatizing 😢. Have you thought of lace front wigs or extensions? You won't have to experiment with color or damage your hair if you try this route. Sorry that happened to you 😢, I'm so paranoid about hair stylists

@SnowLeopardForever 2 ай бұрын

Sounds like the stylist was jealous of your hair and did that to you on purpose. I read an article once where that happened to another woman, except her hair was curly and the stylist without the woman’s knowledge used hair straightener on the woman’s curly hair. The woman didn’t know it was a hair straightener until her mother told her why her hair was straight and breaking off. I guess she had just wanted a temporary blow out not anything permanent. So the woman went back to the salon to complain and found out the stylist had quit. So the assumption is the stylist KNEW what she did was wrong and she did it on purpose.😢

@queenmosessoul 2 ай бұрын

My locs was growing so fast due to a hormonal imbalance and I knew it wasn’t normal how fast my locs were growing. Within 7 years my locs was down my back but I started to experience breaking in the front and damage due to color. I went to a loc shop after doing my own retwist for years and EVERYONE in that shop was jealous of me including my loc stylist who did not properly advise me on loc extensions to the broken and damaged locs in the front. Well 2 years later my locs was damaged and had thinned out badly. I cried many days and before that I got soooooo many compliments on my locs and friends encouraging me to cut my locs from jealousy. Well today I have a new ethical loc stylist and I take care of my locs and they are becoming healthier again and the compliments has returned and my hair color is the same as my skin lol

@kayukai777 2 ай бұрын

omg this happened to me in my first year of college and i was very popular and had a lot of love interest i was initially on an anti inflammatory diet cause of psoriasis and that just made me look good overall i didn’t have any friends so i wasn’t swayed by people who were desperate or just wanted to party but that all changed when i befriended this horrible girl and dated this narcissistic man and fast forward to a few months later i couldn’t recognise myself at all i was not following the diet anymore and i looked horrible and i gained so much weight and lost all my pretty privilege and i was depressed but i bounced back and gained the pretty privilege back now and i will henceforth never neglect myself because of awful people again.

@fermentatedfoomer 2 ай бұрын

This video helped me a lot to knowing that nobody is doomed to look the same forever and understanding the work that it takes to reach your full potential a lot of the stories you have talked about I can relate to as I am also in my early 20’s still learning about utilizing many privileges to my advantage for a better life, keep up the great work!

@DoomsdayApparatus 2 ай бұрын

Thanks for being so relatable, I've never looked at things from the perspective you look from

@ExoticallySpeaking 2 ай бұрын

Omg this is so good. My failure to plan would put me in position where I would have to binge spend when opportunities came because I wasn’t prepared. I was really inconsistent- sometimes I looked so good and put together and other times I was a hot mess because I was not investing in certain things continuously. I don’t know what my issue was with buying new purses or belts but I realized one day that I didn’t maintain those things. I didn’t buy clothes outside of the season- only things I needed - all rooted in scarcity mindedness

@suzannaflores1164 2 ай бұрын

Very insightful stuff. I went from a huge city to a small town, and thankful I kept up my fashion and looks, even though most people are basic.

@Illtakeyoman 2 ай бұрын

14:25 i fear this has been me for the past year and i definitely don’t feel like that “pretty girl” I always associated myself to be! I’ve just been getting by and in beauty survival mode 😭. It’s taken away a lot of my confidence & self expression. I’m getting back into my beauty regimen and taking my supplements, buying new skin products, etc and I’m slowly feeling better !

@ExoticalsUnited 2 ай бұрын

Yes , people don’t understand that looking ugly and being depressed are like an endless loop for women. It’s a cycle 🔁 🔄

@nono-tg8dn 2 ай бұрын

Idk why but "beauty survival mode" made me literally lol 🤣. Changing my philosophy to high maintenance to stay low maintenance from now on

@ambersucces9867 Ай бұрын

I don't know if I ever felt like I lost it but I knew I was getting big when I needed size 15 jeans and my mom was telling me that I had gotten too big. I also started isolating myself socially and didn't want to talk to family on video calls because I was so embarrassed of how I gotten. 😢

@powellkatie123 2 ай бұрын

This is an excellent conversation. I hate being in catch up mode, like I never prepared date night outfits or loooks. So I met someone cute at the mall, but I’m ready to stop taking to him because I ain’t ready lol

@RavingAgave 2 ай бұрын

You should go! - I get you - there’s time put in - to getting to a point you feel proud of - 🔆 Even if you view your new prospect as motivation to surge into fast forward mode for a few days, - a week if you can make an excuse and postpone him . Habit forming is the biggest hassle to begin with, - smooth sailing when directed right! 🐰Shine and Power to you!

@inprogress5210 2 ай бұрын

Honestly I lost mine too. Over the past 3 years I managed to gain 40 pounds and I have similar rashes since September. How I noticed I completely lost mine is when people started to call me fat. Most of my life I've been thin. Last week I switched my diet to add more healthy stuff. Please post a video on how you regained it. Thank you for your video ❤

@Caramel2820 2 ай бұрын

This video was very helpful and is a good talking point, I still do these things sometimes because I happen to be 19. ❤

@ExoticalsUnited 2 ай бұрын

Aw yay! I’m glad you found this space as a teenager ! 😍

@zoeyshine4248 2 ай бұрын

GIRL! I had to pause and type this comment out (I’m cleaning and listening ❤) but you are hitttttttinnnggg the nail on the head with all of this. Everything you’ve been saying, I’ve been doing. The thing is, I’ve been called out for these habits by my BF, but actually having a woman admit to this and own up to it (I’m flooredddd every time you flamed yourself up 😂😂😂) is amazing, admirable, & even more eye opening. Please keep making videos like this ! I’m currently on a fat loss journey and I’ll listen to ur vids while cleaning or walking. Love you !!!❤❤❤

@nihapuri3373 2 ай бұрын

I feel like I’m heading towards my downfall in terms of pretty privilege. I’ve been depressed for a few months with some health issues and I’ve started getting acne and my hair is starting to fall out. However I still have some pretty privilege as I also dress up and present myself well. But I think this video is a good reminder to get me back onto my beauty routine.

@i.112 2 ай бұрын

This lowkey changed my life.

@amorepixie7 2 ай бұрын

So that's why I keep hating getting ready when I have a date or something important its because it's all external and I never really just took care of myself regardless.... I never really thought of it that way because I have depression and ADHD but now that you said it made it clear to me that that's the reason that keeps giving me anxiety

@ExoticalsUnited 2 ай бұрын

Yes! I’ve had depression before and allegedly I have mild ADHD but that’s just what the online quizzes say. I never went into a professional. I probably did struggle with it though because I was disorganized with my time and stuff . Although I somehow still managed to graduate college and everything

@AmiasRenee 2 ай бұрын

This is first time I've ever heard, "...good skin- melanted skin..." Made my heart smile ❤.

@ExoticalSauce 2 ай бұрын

13:55 i burned my forehead like that with a pair of curlers, because I was in a rush to get to work! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@ExoticalsUnited 2 ай бұрын

Omg yes! One time in high school I got a burn across the middle of my face because I was trying to “bump” my bangs 🙄

@salasiasessions 2 ай бұрын

8th grade picture day I burned the side of my face trying to look perfect because I had the cutest pink and white outfit. It ended up being shaped like a tear and my classmates were calling me murder 😂😒😭

@purevenus6359 2 ай бұрын

What was absolutely revolutionary for me and what I would encourage every girl do regardless of your age is find your hair’s porosity and your skin type. That will tell you what kind of products that your body craves so you don’t end up blowing through hundreds of thousands of dollars on products that aren’t right for you.

@Lindy-ld9iv 2 ай бұрын

Licks dry lips as I lay on the couch on my day off. Looking at burn mark from hot tea I spilled on my arm earlier this week. Lmao! But I did take my vitamin c and apply my products this morning. And my nails look fantastic.

@ExoticalsUnited 2 ай бұрын

😂 you’re making progress !

@ToniToussaint 2 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing. I don’t know the entire situation but I think you had chaotic energy that was not properly controlled. I say this because I had a friend whose actions match the examples you gave. I’m happy you were able to get out of that energy. I find that a lot of odd behavior and actions are correlated with chaotic energy. So I personally don’t believe you were lazy just miss place energy.

@momoz1 2 ай бұрын

I get compliments on my appearance a couple times a week and that micro validation pushes me to look cute and take care of myself. But I’ve been neglecting myself lately and it’s been hard to get out of bed and even do my nightly skin care routine.

@taesimmer 2 ай бұрын

If there's anything personal causing you to feel unmotivated, acknowledge it. If you need time to take a break and relax it's okay. Just remember the goal is still to eventually keep up with your appearance.

@yvonne2904 2 ай бұрын

Hugs. I hope you feel better soon. We all have those days

@pipes6414 2 ай бұрын

The light is within. Dont forget that you can be beautiful even when not trying. Take care of your inner.

@writingismagic5597 2 ай бұрын

I was well over 300lbs for 5 years of my life. It was one of the hardest times of my life because not only did I completely lose myself identity but my dad was sick. I was working home care, going to school & helping taking care of my dad & then Covid. I had bad health problems & no energy. I had horrible periods that would last for one month at a time. Before that for years I was a M/L & because I was well proportioned & well dressed I would get asked out a lot. I did a fashion show & got approached for modeling but never followed through. On the contrary, when I was 300lbs+ I attracted a few weirdos & stalkers. The guy that I have been seeing for years wanted to see me less & less & even when I recently showed him a pic of when I was at my heaviest he said. “I don’t remember you being that big.” In America people put so much attention on weight. When I was abroad I made so many friends so I had no trouble socializing. But as a 300lbs+ in America people were very rude & criticize & say mean things about my size. I broke a chair at a party & it was so embarrassing. But I didn’t hit rock bottom until after my dad passed away. And it took me two years to finally start changing my lifestyle. Then I went abroad and had the wls. I’m not skinny but people are way nicer to me now than they were when I was 300lbs+. I’m still losing & I feel better. I don’t have sleep apnea or fatty liver. Before people wouldn’t even look at me. I don’t have to go out of my way to be nice to people. Sometimes I can get away with being snarky or sarcastic whereas before I had to always be nice, accommodating no matter what & the personality would compensate for being extremely fat but the reality it was being really kind & having a great personality never made up for being morbidly obese. It makes you realize looks can give you leverage. And I have a better internal locus of control whereas before I blamed everyone but myself for my weight. I remember the day after surgery I told my cousin it was completely my fault for becoming fat. I was the one who stuffed my face & ate fast food every day. I was the one getting a second plate of food or wouldn’t exercise. So being accountable really helped me change my behavior. Being healthy isn’t about pretty privilege but it’s about having a better quality of life & a better relationship with yourself.

@pipes6414 2 ай бұрын

Thrifter here. I will put it together and people will think ive spent alot lmao.

@rihablouiza639 2 ай бұрын

I gaslighted myself that I didn't want to go to my neighbor's wedding, I just relieved that I was so embarrassed to show myself to the community, gained so much weight, extreme break outs , my hais is falling, ...ect everything in the least. Im having a reality check rn and this video popped up the confirm it

@whos_primrose6531 2 ай бұрын

This is such a good video. It’s rarely spoken about! Xx

@PunkBunniii 2 ай бұрын

Girl I am 21 and I am exactly the same rn 😭 had exact same things happen to me this year... really disorganized.. i'm working on it though, i noticed it is a huge problem... I still have some pretty privilige, but I really lost a lot of it, I am on the way to gaining it back rn, thing that pushed me to gain it back was my boyfriend taking me to a trip in Istanbul. I live in a small town in Türkiye, most girls here look average and I stand out here, but in Istanbul, all the girls I saw there was GORGEOUS and healthy, and I felt really self conscious.

@TheBlackExotical 2 ай бұрын

1:51 I wish this content existed when I was in middle school. I had a friend that was so D dizzy it was exhausting lol

@KimmyH34 2 ай бұрын

Can you please do the video about how you gained back your pretty privilege? My hair is breaking off too😥

@ExoticalsUnited 2 ай бұрын

Yes I recorded it I have to edit tomorrow

@KimmyH34 2 ай бұрын

@ExoticalsUnited Thanks, darling! I'm looking forward to it! 🩷☺️

@taesimmer 2 ай бұрын

I would recommend you try hair tonics for hair growth. The one I use is from Goldspell but if you look up the results it has on women's hair, it's amazing.

@sarahel-imam-w8n 28 күн бұрын

Great reflections that really got me thinking and resonated with me :)

@purevenus6359 2 ай бұрын

Your words are reminiscent to me of Coco Chanel’s agony when she was alive. She felt that women only beautify ourselves for the sake of others, and If we were just alone on an island we wouldn’t do these things because we would have no one to do it for. That never sat right with me and I feel like that thought process actually comes from a place of self hatred. But yes, laziness absolutely can make you lose what you have.

@khadijahjames-king202 2 ай бұрын

Laziness and stress my dear

@OFP_TODAY 2 ай бұрын

I love these streams lol keep it up

@ExoticalFHTips 5 күн бұрын

38:46 and rent 😂😂😂 I did that too😂😂😂 i had a BIG credit card 😅

@misskellyk 2 ай бұрын

Panic mode stunts your creativity too!

@phoenixsubliminals 2 ай бұрын

Just started! I'm excited about this one

@Satin.B 2 ай бұрын

EU you got me! I’m young and I eat like there no tomorrow I know this going to back fire on me when I hit my later 20s. 👍

@chicka.alexia 2 ай бұрын

25:55 yas ilia and saie are amazing clean makeup. totally recommend their skin tints, adds a natural glow.

@Llaaoo123 2 ай бұрын

Yeah ,pick mes are the WORST !!

@misskellyk 2 ай бұрын

Tj maxx has nice smelling hygiene products too!

@kmcc2355 2 ай бұрын

Easy to lose another way too ladies if a high status mixed or other race already successful males see you hangin with the dusty thugs. We get a good look to remember from that point on we mark undateable. we judge women by the other males she is with the same way women judge us by who are the women around us.

@Yanna522 2 ай бұрын

Nobody cares about what a man thinks. This is a de-centre men channel.

@kmcc2355 2 ай бұрын

@Ur_gal_pau agreed but MLS men unfortunately see a lot of our excotical women with these one day never coming always on a down cycle broke powerless men no one can make something out of nothing . They keep much better men away from women not out of fear cause them, they are nothing no man fears nor cares about them their issues are self inflicted. They are doing a great job of taking themselves out no help needed by us = zero threat nor are they our compeitiors,they can pretend but to us they donot even exist but out of disappointment of the woman for her choice in very low quality men= and that is all of them no exceptions, we will totally write her off right then and there forever . In short these so called men are blocking a many excoticals potential and blessings for life , I have never seen a Mixed unhappy with their mixed mate and their mixed kids , but 10 out 10 mixed with and ADS seem very unhappy with their choice even after just few months together .

@kmcc2355 2 ай бұрын

@Ur_gal_pau Not one excotical can name any one benefit she has gained by trying get into bc which itself is nothing but poverty , baby momma drama and man cheating with no money stress for life . There is no pot of gold ever its a pot of septic tank residuals everytime no exception .

@ExoticalsUnited 2 ай бұрын

@@Yanna522I was screaming when was reading this man’s comment . This video had nothing to do with whether or not men find us dateable. Plus. We’re pretty, so there will always be a man that wants to date us 😂 so much so to the point where we have to decenter them because there are too many

@reginakc 2 ай бұрын

Who cares; I swear men want to feel wanted and valuable by women soooo bad. This video has nothing to do with attracting men at all.

@HighEndManifestation 2 ай бұрын

Laught so much. And can totally relate!

@Illtakeyoman 2 ай бұрын

Wait have you seen that there’s a Shein tall section for women? I’m 5’9 and every pants I have gotten there fit perfectly, waist and length wise !!

@ExoticalsUnited 2 ай бұрын

Oh . I need to check it out because I just got some high water pants in the mail today 😂

@lillierose5304 Ай бұрын

I never go to hairdressers anymore because they don't know my unique hair. I think hair has its own personality that you intimately get to know 😅. Hairdressers ruin my hair and never seem to know how to deal with natural curls. I had to chop so much length off my hair after my last visit to a hairdresser because of the damage! And omg the way she scrunched my hair from the mid-length to the scalp it ended up soooo frizzy!! No one can do my hair the way I can.

@BrittaneyBoss 2 ай бұрын

3:01 You sound like my mom. LOL. It's often best to just grow it back?

@powellkatie123 2 ай бұрын

Why did I think you were in your 20s now. You were early 20s in the early 2000’s, 20 years ago!!?? your voice sounds young lol

@Angel.aaa109 2 ай бұрын

she's in her early 30s I believe

@smooothsynergy652 2 ай бұрын

She’s still young early 30s

@fantasiawebb5687 2 ай бұрын

I haven’t been on my routine for the past week cause I been laid up with my man 😊 but a few days off isn’t the end of the world 🌎

@rukiye4799 2 ай бұрын

I love these streams sm

@BelieveLoveLive92 2 ай бұрын

I suffer with really bad eczema. Makes me look about twenty years older than I really am. I just realized that my diet had a lot to do with it. I have to make that change.

@jamieburnett9092 2 ай бұрын

Use cleaning bleach apply with a cutip before bed. And cocoa butter in day

@brittanysmith7267 2 ай бұрын

Rosacea? Any tips for ppl with rosacea? I have that from a suspected autoimmune disease. I also have eczema to even on my face and scalp this condition is very painful and it effects your self esteem.

@nikicarrie4071 2 ай бұрын

Is it lupus?

@brittanysmith7267 2 ай бұрын

@nikicarrie4071 sadly we don't know yet. I'm currently on a wait list for 14 months to see a rheumatologist in my area so yeah that sucks. I don't want to diagnose myself bc u absolutely need proper lab work done to get a diagnosis but my current doc used to be a rheumatologist and told me I should see a rheumatologist. As for lupus in particular I do have a butterfly rash also on top of the eczema which sucks but I don't want to jump to any conclusions about my health .

@Maria-ow8pk 2 ай бұрын

Hi, I've had mild rosacea on my face for years. I recommend sunscreen to reduce skin inflammation. Also keep a food journal and watch for any flareups in your skin after eating and drinking. For me, I've noticed that my skin reacts to sugar, caffeine, and highly processed foods. There are KZbin videos that can help as well: search for 'rosacea diet' or 'rosacea skincare' and look for more recent videos to get up to date advice. Good luck!