Stuff No One Tells You About Being a Professional Ballet Dancer Ep.2: Toxic Thinness Culture

[@MultiJalynn]

SHE NEEDS A FREAKIN TALK SHOW!! SIMPLY AMAZING!! These tips stretch beyond the realm of dance!!

[@TheConfidentDancer]

I LOVE YOUR COMMENT SO MUCH!!! Thank you. That would be so cool :)

[@SaltySugarPlum]

I've been 'struggling' with my legs for most of my ballet career. only once (after a bad breakup) when I wasnt eating for months and lost a ton of weight, did I have "the ballet body" and I was getting compliments all around. and I even convinced myself that I was 'better' because I was thinner (granted, some things feel easier with less weight on the joints, etc) but I inevitably gained the weight back as my appetite recovered from the anxiety, and I was suddenly "not as good" anymore... although my technique was pretty much the same... anyway, flash forward another few years and I'm in a happy relationship (although not dancing as regularly as I used to) I've probably gained an additional 10 lbs, but now I just joke that my thighs are where I store my personality! and yes, I know objectively that I could be fitter. I'm not necessarily "in shape" but I also no longer fee the need to kill myself to be in "peak shape" all the time. I know my technique is probably the same regardless of weight. I say "I'll lose weight when I get paid for it" aka if I get hired and need to be in a certain condition to perform a role, THEN I'll change my body for the role. but in my day to day dancing and practicing with my peers, I dont even care anymore. a tendu is a tendu no matter the size of your thighs.

[@zourdoudaki]

hear hear :)

[@thewilytroutesq5260]

Jeeze. I don't even dance, and I found this presentation profoundly insightful. Reminded me of Eleanor Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Grounded indifference to toxicity is a priceless tool.

[@TheConfidentDancer]

No matter what your take is one what I shared, I do invite you to share your experience kindly and respectfully in the comments! I truly hope for this message to edify the community and call us to action so that we can give our bodies the respect and gratitude they deserve. Please do participate in the photo sharing challenge I mentioned at the end of the video, on IG and Facebook, and in the description! I can't wait to see your posts! ❤️

[@rainbird2372]

“Really taking care of yourself means trusting your body and listening to the cues that it gives you.” :) That was the biggest takeaway for me. Thank you!

[@TheConfidentDancer]

Thank you so much for sharing your takeaway!! I'm sure it helps others integrate the information too!

[@mjgbabydragonlet]

Ballet training gave me so much, things I took for granted, until I was injured as an adult (Not dance related). But the dedication, and knowledge of my own body, what it actually takes to isolate specific muscles are the only reason I was able to learn to walk again after an incomplete spinal cord injury. So I will never not love ballet, but I also am not afraid to build up anyone who is making effort in the right direction. While my physical limitations are real, ballet gave me the base to achieve my goal of getting out of the wheel chair. Which I did, with great effort.

[@thehappyelephant8868]

I think another important way that we can help defend ourselves and others from this toxic culture is to realize that our body is not entirely separate from who we are. A lot of dancers (and people) talk about their body as if they are analyzing some worthless foreign object they are forced to carry rather than a part of themselves. It is so sad! I love what you said that people should trust that they will be able to accomplish what they are meant to accomplish in life with the body they have been given. Thanks for the video it was very helpful!

[@lindaharrison3240]

We live in a culture that rewards thinness. Ballet obviously does it, too, but our mainstream culture is nuts with this. Ballet has an aesthetic so it seems easy to justify the need for thinness. But the culture at large is just as bad. It's a loaded issue on so many levels.

[@TheConfidentDancer]

So loaded!!! That's why I avoided this topic for so long. It's not a simple issue, but thankfully we can do something about it!

[@chana3817]

you speak so eloquently. so much respect for your thoughts on this because i have seen the exact same things related to thinner being more successful

[@TheConfidentDancer]

Thank you so much for saying that ❤️

[@miab9399]

Please start a podcast or something, I take a walk to go grab a coffee and listen to this and it’s very peaceful and empowering! Thank you Kirsten!

[@TheConfidentDancer]

I would LOVE that!! Perhaps one day soon!

[@larissaswayze]

You are so special and you see the world as it is with such clarity. Yet you're so positive in the face of negativity. You rock Kirsten!

[@TheConfidentDancer]

Thank you so much, Larissa!!

[@jenniferpayne6242]

Wow! I really really think every student training in ballet needs to watch this video ASAP. This should be in dance school’s curriculum, I’m serious. You are so intelligent/talented and everything you said has really hit home! Thank you!

[@TheConfidentDancer]

Wow, thank you Jennifer!! Your comment means a lot to me! I want every dancer to see this as well!

[@leahslavens6234]

Yes Kirsten!!! Thank you for bringing light to this truth and for DOING SOMETHING! The work you are doing is so important and I know so many dancers are going to be blessed by you!!

[@TheConfidentDancer]

Thank you so much, Leah!! ❤️

[@juliaoakland5542]

I’ve been wanting to hear someone talk about this for so long, but no one does. thank you so so much for making this video, it really has helped me.❤️

[@TheConfidentDancer]

I'm so grateful it helps ❤️More videos like this are on the way!!

[@edanalord3163]

Yasss Queen!! This was awesome. And MUCH NEEDED. #breakthecycle #morethanenough

[@DominikaCharvatova]

what is even more crazy is that it works like that outside of dancing. If you are skinny people are more friendly, you are more popular among guys, you get better job offers..... you name it.

[@denisedevries9929]

You Should start a podcast 🙏🏼 I love listening to you ❤️

[@celestecisneros1543]

Thanks for this!!! I am now going to help my friends and myself to improve our mentalities!

[@zourdoudaki]

You're so thoughtful and composed to your discourse, I wish I could have a live conversation with you. I totally feel what you're saying and I believe that you're so absolutely right, yet my question is this: isn't the whole mentality infiltrated into ballet dancers all about "you're never good enough, you should strive for perfection" and it becomes end in itself? I mean, classical ballet is all about reaching to your highest standard by measurable means such for example highest arabesque or squarer attitude or a perfect 12 o'clock, no? For years and years it's been the driving force behind any ballet dancer "always be better, remain modest, always strive for excellence, never rest on your laurels, higher, more in control etc"? Ever since the Vaganova time, it has always been about not giving too much praise, not showing contentment to the dancer/student, making him/her feel you, as a choreographer or teacher, should always expect more. It has always been so much about control that it seems to me inevitable not to bear fruits such as self-resentment and strive for control over the thing to which we can exercise control directly: what we put in our mouths every day. There's the ballet dogma of harsh discipline, self-deprivation, thick skin etc and so it's only natural that dancers would be lead to that, especially nowadays when ballet lines and shapes have been exaggerated, much more than before e.g. during the Fonteyn and Nureyev times. Hyperextensions and overstretches would be considered vulgar back then, yet now this strive for "hyper" and "over" are applauded. There should be more discussion on the core mentality around ballet. Notions such as self-respect and respect of each other should come into consideration. Ballet should really become a happy place also for dancers. Mental abuse from an authority position, which is widely viewed as the norm, should start being "penalised" in the ballet world, this should be the starting point. Some seeds have been planted lately, I'd like to see them bloom.

[@TheConfidentDancer]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I agree with so much of what you said - the unhealthy mentality may be a natural outcome of the "always push for more" attitude that is central to excellence in ballet, BUT I believe the core differentiator between pushing for more and feeling secure in yourself and pushing for more and hating yourself is the a simple misunderstanding that lies in how one perceives and makes meaning out of the space between them and their goals. Everyone has room to better themselves in every discipline. Some choose to look at that space between them and their ideals as a fun challenge, an opportunity for growth, etc. Some choose to look at that same space and draw out the meaning that they are insufficient, that they "should" meet certain expectations by now, that all anyone else can see is their "flaws", or that they will never make it where they want to go. The reality is that we all have more opportunities for growth in life until we meet our ends. The way we feel about that potential, and even whether we meet that potential or not, is determined by the perspective we choose!

[@zourdoudaki]

@@TheConfidentDancer Yes, yes you are so right! I guess the change has to start from the bottom up like in any "revolution" in history :) let this be the #morethanenough movement!

[@bronwynisabel8417]

Thank you for talking about this! You not only voiced things that I’ve been thinking but you helped me see reasons behind my behavior that I’ve been looking for! Thank you so so much.

[@davissusanlynn]

You are an inspiration! This is awesome! I think you chose the right profession and niche within that profession! Of course, you already figured that out! Keep up the hard work! There was so much in this video!

[@TheConfidentDancer]

Thank you so much, Susan!! I really appreciate you saying that. Working with dancers to overcome the common struggles and actually enjoy what they are doing certainly feels like my calling!

[@christinaliina9510]

thank you so much for this video💗 i was called many bad things by my old ballet master, before i never worried about my weight because i was always on the healthy athletic side but for example he would tell/scream at me that i look like i am pregnant with triplets, a fat cow but the comments that hurt the most were about my dancing, telling me i should better go home and cook for him bc it makes no sense for me to continue dancing. i was in that professional program for 2.5 years, sadly i was never able to stand up for myself changing the school helped but now other things were going terribly wrong. your video simply explained each experience i had at different dance programs...

[@kathymyers7279]

Christina Liina that's freaking abuse for humans. Why do dancers put up with this? Dancers are the most teachable, submissive , humble , unrebellious people ever. I was screamed at by Andre Eglevskys wife and couldn't handle it. I was way too rebellious to pursue ballet. So funny that the rest of the world looks at ballet dancers as exotic, elite superhuman fairies. I think there's a bit of a polarization going on... lol

[@TheConfidentDancer]

I'm so sorry you went through that. I am holding out the hope that this mentality will no longer be permitted in the future. Thank you for sharing your experience. I understand what it's like to be under abusive teachers who seem to have such a power over you that you can't say anything back to them. I pray that you find the joy and confidence you are worthy of ❤️

[@tesselllation]

Also can I please add what a sexist prick for saying go home and cook for him. Jeebus what a diagusting human being

[@a.phillips6892]

The overwhelming restricting and obsessing continues for life if you have been in the environment for a long time, very hard to break, unfortunately. Thank you for the for frank discussion and solution, the best I've heard!💕

[@SydneeCoggins]

My college professor knew I was more technically proficient but favored the other girls with smaller bust. It sucked but oh well.

[@Sara.m.tube.]

Thank you so so much for this video. It helped me so much

[@persseida6246]

This video was so motivational and you deserve people to discover you! However, these topics reminded me of whenever I dance alone or try to improve some steps (I started dancing not long ago), I feel so bad, so awful because I know I'm not doing them right and I don't even want to look at the mirror. It's a terrible feeling, like dancing makes me feel so bad about myself, when it should be the other way around. I don't know how to get out of it :(

[@RymVri108]

You’re an amazing person. It’s so clear that you embody your spirituality and make it a part of your life in all aspects. Your videos are awesome, and every dancer needs to see them!

[@TheConfidentDancer]

Thank you so much! Your comment is such an encouragement to me and I appreciate you taking the time to write it!

[@BaernaDo-xy9vw]

Thank you for touching upon this topic and giving comfort to dancers who struggle with accepting their bodies due to pressure put upon them! I just wanted to add on that the same for weight goes the other way around. Those who are naturally skinny can sometimes have a hard time gaining weight. I once flew out of state for an audition and was told by the director that I am "too skinny" and it looks "scarey". She said if I want a position in the company, I need to "gain some weight". I'm not anorexic. I eat very regularly and I feel that I am healthy. So though it is less common, the same pressure does exist the other way around!

[@DarkfoolDave]

Kirsten is awesome! I just started taking ballet classes and now I hope to be a future Dance Dad one day, haha! I got a glimpse of the dance world’s dark side at college, the dance majors were in a preprofessional program- girls from all over the country. I always respected the bruises, the soreness, the work. It was eye-opening when I heard about the pressure some of these schools put people through. I’m so happy these issues are getting exposure, it will create a better world for future generations of talented professionals!!

[@intergalacticinterloper5177]

I’m not a dancer and this is just amazing advice for all of us. Thank you.

[@estherzhang2897]

love this video so much! so inspiring i would say, totally beyond the mere scope of ballet. Kirsten is talking about those really big topics in our life, self-loving, happiness, everything. I ABSOLUTELY love this talk SOOOOO MUCH!!!

[@TheConfidentDancer]

Aw thank you so much, Esther!!

[@ChronicallyCassidy]

Sooo true. In the dressing room so many things are said. “Ugh I’m a mess today. This leotard makes me look fat. I look so bloated and disgusting...” etc. and people would try to joke and say like me too or “that was me yesterday” and they’d laugh and say me too and tell their insecurity. I’ve been so a part of this and you’re right, nobody thinks about it in ballet because it’s “normal” to talk derogatory about yourself.

[@TheConfidentDancer]

Thank you so much for sharing, Cassidy! It's amazing that just putting this simple awareness into practice can start to change the culture within your group. I hope that pointing this out to your friends and no longer participating in the "girl, me too" chatter will make a big difference!

[@markbeck8384]

Yes, this IS a difficult topic. Thank you for your kindness and honesty.. I'm a figure skating Pro, with at full ballet-performance background. Yes, we are told to be perfect, to be conscious of all the details, to think that our reason for living is to look good in that costume, and to hit all the right angles, time it all right, totally divorce ourselves from nerves, interior problems; be musical. It's easy to hate yourself: you are almost never perfect; and the most obvious, seemingly correctable, thing,. is your weight. Yet, you obviously need muscles to jump/move, so you can't be just a stick; and you need energy. It's a hard balance. At some point, you have to accept the body you were given, and do (with training) what you can do. There is a limit to that, for everyone.

[@TheConfidentDancer]

Thank you so much for sharing your perspective and experience! This is certainly not just a ballet issue and it is even a problem for all body types!

[@LovelyMe93]

I applaud you for uploading this content on KZbin, you're very rare in this community because you aren't afraid of addressing serious issues and I find that to be sooooooo important and helpful and it also means you're trying to change things in the ballet world! I feel like in most communities there are so many bad things but people don't want to talk about them because they don't want to feed into the stereotypes or rumors about their community, almost like they are trying to protect their good image to people who aren't involved. Like when dancers brag about how much they eat because they want to change the idea that dancers starve themselves to be so thin! I think 99.9 % of all communities have issues that needs to be adressed but there is nobody willing to do it because there's the chance of feeding into a stereotype. That is why I still follow you and watch your videos! Seriously, thank you so much!

[@ashlyn8346]

This is absolutely incredible and so relevant to me. Thank you so much! I have been majorly in need of help for tips in mind positivity towards my dancing and body. You are so amazing and encouraging!

[@TheConfidentDancer]

I am SO happy to hear that!! It is my mission to keep helping dancers just like you!

[@shireenharoun4423]

I went into dance because I was plump been anorexic all my life i lost all the weight obviously and laymen tell me I have a perfect body but even now at 57 and not dancing professionally I still eat very little and self hate eg my legs are too short bust is too big it never stops and has become a lifetime habit glad you talked about this

[@kathymyers7279]

I love those earings.

[@kvhowells]

Yes ❤️🙏 I love this video 👍

[@ameliaa734]

preach! finally someone is confronting the ballet world for treating thinner dancers with superiority. however, i have been asked to lose weight too. i was wondering if you could do a video on how to do it the healthy, safe way?

[@TheConfidentDancer]

Thanks, Amelia! Great question. I have faced that as well. Right now, I would recommend that you visit thewholedancer.com or any of the other resources from The Whole Dancer on instagram or youtube. Jess is a health coach and has great advice. My personal recommendation (based off of what worked for me), is to exclusively eat whole foods. Whole foods (especially if you're just eating plant-based) will give you the nutrition you need while keeping you full (because of the fiber) and reducing your calorie intake. You don't have to eliminate things like oil or healthy fats, but do make sure you are consuming them in small proportions. In the past, it was easiest for me to just completely put junk food or processed food off limits. It took too much will power and brain power at the time to work out how to do moderation without going crazy, so I just cut those foods out. That made a huge difference and actually caused me to realize that I prefer the more nourishing food anyway. I hope this helped! Only eat nourishing food, drink lots of water, find a macronutrient ratio that works for you (carbs/fat/protein), make sure you're not snacking unnecessarily, and you will likely see good results.

[@ameliaa734]

@@TheConfidentDancer thank you so much for sharing your tips/process with me!

[@xy2565]

Please do a podcast series!!! You need one that we can download on apple podcasts

[@betzymartinez3364]

Hi, just wondering what are your thought on peircings and tattoos while dancing professionally

[@Fruit-of-Eden]

love it!

[@ChronicallyCassidy]

Posted on Instagram with the hashtag, me with a service dog.

[@nalabees]

it's important for this content to be out there. There's so much flawed thinking around this topic. It made me think of this video (maybe made by "munchies" I'm not positive) "counting calories with a ballerina". There were millions of views when I saw it months ago. This (very thin) dancer obsessively documented her calories and was on a "calorie deficit" diet to get back to her "performance" weight, which she was A HALF a pound away from and still obsessing. Ok so this may be what works for her, but should it be glamorized on a professionally produced and advertised video? There are so many issues with this. Not the least being for a lot of people do you really think they're going to lose that half a pound and just stop and begin a healthy well rounded diet? That's a slippery slope to a very toxic lifestyle. Not to mention it was a huge advertisement for maintaining a very thin physique and that you can't perform as well with those couple extra pounds, even a half a pound, etc. The funding it took to make that video could've been spent on something educational on healthy diets of dancers instead, but they knew this content would get more views and that's the problem. The cycle will never slow down without more education and content in the right direction.

[@TheConfidentDancer]

I totally agree. I saw that video a long time ago and thought is was not only complete bogus, but a potentially damaging message to send out.

[@ChronicallyCassidy]

This is very true.

[@JennaGetsCreative]

When I used to dance recreationally even, I was asked by my teachers to watch my diet and get thinner. My body is not built to be a stick. I have not been a stick since I was 10. Doesn't matter how often I move my body or how well I cut out carbs and empty callories- my body doesn't do that. And that's okay.

[@kyliechia97]

You should start a podcast !

[@TheConfidentDancer]

Oh girl, I feel so enabled! Yesterday I added a good mic to my amazon shopping cart... I think I'm about to pull the trigger!

[@vg5340]

Your prof career was 1 season as an "unpaid appentice" OC Ballet. How many Ballets were u even in that 1 season?

[@edsr164]

I was shocked when I learned y’all don’t drink instead you snort cocaine at parties, and the habit eating and then vomiting and keep eating in parties is widespread also shocked me.

[@taniaroberts2]

wow ❤❤❤

[@shireenharoun4423]

Got into ballet as a plump awkward 11yr old years of dance naturally changed my body now I get the opposite comments ooh you're so skinny why don't you put on weight just can't win 🤣🤣

[@ellenspear50]

Too late: I read Gelsey Kirkland's autobio, Dancing on My Grave. Extreme eating, cocaine and a toxic relationship or two were on her mind.

[@xxsyl1096]

22:40 :')

[@evah1928]

I have to disagree with you; I don't think a dancer has to be slender to have good lines. But this is a great video otherwise and I have to thank you for making so many points we all think about but never talk about!!