Style Therapy: The Problem with Polished

[@BookTalksWithMrsThomas]

This reminds me of a book called The Happiness Effect. It's all about how people are killing themselves trying to look happy on Facebook but it's really making them miserable

[@LaurenMessiah]

Oooh I've gotta check that out! Thanks

[@ToffeeBeauty]

Thanks Lauren! I deal with the polished dilemma. My sister says I always look put together, however I find myself putting pressure on myself to look editorial. Life is not a magazine shoot or Instagram feed. I think my background in fashion industry has a lot to play on that pressure. The funny thing is I don’t do it to others, I’m just hard on my on image and how I project my style. Thanks for another wonderful motivational video 😊

[@humanormachine2936]

I have this exact issue. I often feel like I'm not doing enough to look chic and put together, and have unrealistic standards for my outfits. I realized this is because I want to look more high fashion, but everyday life just doesn't really allow for it. I still take inspiration from editorial fashion, but apply it to more practical clothing and accessories.

[@bowieoscar2984]

I know Im randomly asking but does someone know a way to log back into an instagram account..? I somehow lost the login password. I would appreciate any tricks you can give me.

[@tatumdeshawn4237]

@Bowie Oscar Instablaster =)

[@bowieoscar2984]

@Tatum Deshawn Thanks for your reply. I got to the site on google and I'm trying it out now. Looks like it's gonna take a while so I will reply here later with my results.

[@bowieoscar2984]

@Tatum Deshawn it did the trick and I now got access to my account again. I'm so happy:D Thanks so much you saved my ass !

[@laurahills6109]

I know what you mean, Lauren. I love the way I look with a coat or jacket draped over my shoulders. But that's not practical all the time. Sometimes I need to wear the coat because it's freezing outside. And sometimes, I need to be able to lift my arms without a draped coat falling off my shoulders.

[@WorkingLook]

Right! Just another example of how we feel the need to compete with photoshopped instagram shots! In addition to thigh gap, we now feel pressure to carry our puse all day at work to "complete the outfit" Great video!

[@Owen73001]

As someone who grew up counting my pennies, I have focused on "the clothes" more than the items that finish an outfit. Mainly because I didn't have the cash for the extras. Now I focus on the little things that finish an outfit. The cool earrings, the necklace and the sunglasses! It really is the little things... Love the new hair Lauren

[@perfumaphilia3246]

The even more difficult pill to swallow is that most of us aren't models. We simply aren't going to look as chic and effortlessly put together as they do, even if we're wearing the exact same thing.

[@SheriMaple]

Great video! No one has time for perfectionism. It's a buzz kill.

[@gabriellalopez6537]

I get it! When I first saw this video I was like Hmm we should all look polished, there shouldn't be a problem with it. I now understand that the problem isn't the style, it's the expectations of what that means. In my head, I see polished as looking presentable, which you described.

[@belladree]

I think your clients may not be happy with the outfit that is under their coats, they should look and feel polished when they take that coat off as that is the real outfit.

[@b.walker5955]

I think "polished and put together" can be defined in numbers...the number of articles. Those looks are just as you explained layers of pieces. Just like in great interior design when you see a grouping of 3 or 5 it looks better more balance than having just one. So in our minds eye, when you begin to remove those elements, or in this example numbers you may feel lacking in what remains. We need to focus on the base or basics and appreciate those elements for getting us to the greater finished product which is polished one. Every one element is as important as the last. : ) Really appreciated your expression of frustration in hopes of getting the point across. Well done! I got it! Mastering the sleeve roll, or the shirt tuck, or use of one accessory, can speak a lot in only one number, however. We need to be as comfortable in one piece as we are in 5. After all, Five easy pieces is just a movie title. : )

[@marynyhof6916]

Very affirming! So true, we can be so hard on ourselves!!! Thank you Lauren!!!

[@thelauralindachannel1149]

The "Perfectionism Gene..." Girl! You are so tapped into the thoughts and feelings so many of us are going through. I'm takin' my unfashionable butt to Style University! Thanks, Lauren!

[@lynnmazalewski2766]

i think ur best hair style ever its you and make ur features look their best which is attractive, and a sharp looking girl who knows her stuff

[@LB42389]

Yes!! Hahaha “Because I’m a real human...” lol I love this!

[@aliciaguerra-salazar5854]

I think that shoes and your bag is the main point. You can bring some simple jeans and a white blouse, but with some beautiful sandals or skilletos, but with high heels, it makes a lot of difference. Also a scarf, are things that you do not take away, also jewelry accessories. I consider that the personality of the person says a lot

[@FarzTurk]

Basically we are all programmed to constantly look like a walking Instagram image, like you said it’s not reality

[@mintsaturn]

Love this video. We need to remember how many stylists it takes to make an image. We live in the real world, not a magazine or pinterest/instagram. 💚💙💜

[@angelasegarra2339]

Thank you for always keeping it real with the reality check.

[@anahewett9338]

Thank you Lauren for this video. Women need to understand it's wonderful to love real life, not fake life on pictures, movies nor magazines. Real life, the one you can really enjoy is yourself! !!

[@betterlifebroadcasting7547]

Polished, for me , is a moment, not an all day thing. What I have on in the moment that I step out usually is polished, but by the end of the day those super-cool earring had to go 30 minutes into the phone call that lasted an hour, and the gorgeous blazer (or pretty fluttery blouse got abandoned or amended with a sweater when the demon that controls the AC at my office lost it's mind.

[@anirecinereb]

To look polished would be accessorizing and wearing the shoes that compliment your outfit but most importantly is HYGiENE. Clean hair and well brushed.

[@lizabean723]

so excited for pinterest vs real life! more therapy videos too! my problem with polished is feeling too nice for the neighborhood i'm in, but when i get to the city i'm on par(-ish). how should one be polished without getting jumped?

[@TheYellowgirl17]

Girl yess I feel the same!

[@natiakakauridze2335]

OMG Lauren your hairstyle is perfect.. you look amazing..

[@LaurenMessiah]

Thank you :)

[@mermaidtango]

super helpful points in this video - thanks so much! Often I feel 'polished' because of how I'm feeling internally (attitude); but what you said about a necklace, or your make-up on point - yes, that does amp it up.

[@celestema2506]

Love your honesty! Another problem with your whole wardrobe designed to be polished is when you need to run out for grocery shopping before taking a shower, you literally don't find anything non polished outfit 😓

[@croitoriafaraformule]

Soo right! We should worry less and live more.

[@nicnothingnice]

After editing and such these days in videos and photos, you make a great point. Perfection does not exist. I'm convinced that several women have that mental condition where they see something different in the mirror, myself included. Let's go a lil easier on ourselves. Thanks to the media, many are disillusioned as to what a woman looks like. It's tougher to be a woman in 2018. Standards of beauty are increasing as my tolerance for it is decreasing 😂

[@earthtraveler313]

Hello Lauren, I came upon your video on "The Problem with Polished". I too have asked that question to myself many times and I believe to have found the answer to that question. Now, many people can be "Put together and Polished" even if they put on a sack of potatoes as a fashion trend. I'm not going against your word on having others get accessories, shoes or anything else for that matter, but anyone that has this one particular "gift" can be acquired to be "Put together and Polished" (PT & P). Bear with me, because this is how I found out what was needed to be "PT & P". As I was resting on an outside seat at the mall, near an upscale department store, I started to people watch. Many types came and went dressed as they thought would be appropriate, as this particular woman with long brown hair went inside the department store in a bikini bra with the torn jeans look and stilettos. Other people who saw her, were commenting on how horribly dressed she was etc, etc. which those comments will not appear here on your vlog comments. One huge difference that I noticed on the bikini bra lady that I couldn't see in many others was that she was in many ways "Pt & P". What was it? She had "Poise and confidence". That, made her standout more than her way of dress. So, in my humble opinion, poise and confidence, have to do so much in making a person be "Put together and Polished". The bikini lady was "PT & P" in so many ways, and I believe that if she went in with a towel wrapped around her, she would make the towel standout reeking in Polished. Many people don't care or don't know what it is to be poised. Those that do, have the advantage. So, next time you see a person all put together and polished, check out their poise. P.s. I'm now a new subscriber to your channel.

[@shalomalcheim7402]

I love the Hermes painting behind you. 💜 Where did you get it?

[@AClutterFreeLife]

Respect! To find a video like this so real has earned my admiration ! You've got a new subscriber

[@margaritap.narenpithak282]

This made me subscribe. I also would like to add that you don’t need to break the bank to look good. You don’t need to have Chanel, Prada, Valentino to look put together or impressive. Any nicely made and decent quality clothes will do.

[@TheMaishaHarris]

I am so glad I found this video. Everything you said makes complete sense! Subscribing!

[@pappyone6062]

Thank you Lauren for talking about self care and just not being lazy. Not that I’m not sometimes lazy! Lol! But Has no one seen people trying to get the perfect picture for their IG or Facebook account? They take pictures in different ridiculous poses for a half hour. It’s comical. That is the image they want to portray, but whoever saw them trying so hard to get the picture knows that it was not their real self. Just make sure your clothes fit well, your hair and makeup dont look like you just rolled out of bed, you have some pretty jewelry on amd you’re done. that is real life and perfectly polished.

[@doreen9293]

Finally I found a classy channel. I am extremely tired of looking for plus size fashion and tips, only finding streetwear and kind of sleazy outfit and bad advise. HUGE Thank you.

[@carmena.g.2448]

Totally agree with you. I think it’s better to feel confortable with what you wear

[@peaches5216]

Great info Lauren! I haven't watched your vlogs for a while. I love your hair cut and point of view. Thank you!!!

[@losingmychic]

So so TRUE! Why women aspire to look like the Kardashians 24/7 is a media driven unrealistic concept that doesn’t reflect real women’s lives at all. Instagram and Pinterest are JUST PHOTOS! Pretty snapshots of someone’s outfit, doesn’t show cleaning up baby poop or fixing a blocked sink!! Thanks for this wonderfully refreshing video. 🛠🔩🛀📸😂🤣

[@valelliott2106]

I like this a lot. Your point about hair and make up is on point.

[@MC-gq5ms]

That message NEEDED to be said. Thank you.

[@theamethyst93]

I think when people say that theyre referring to the look of well cut and tailored clothes for their body.

[@shawna_bee]

Yesssss “friend in my head”! I can’t wait for the miniseries videos.

[@LaurenMessiah]

:)

[@youssratidar9943]

Very true, thank u

[@agneslaufer9579]

Im french we are NOT polished

[@dolsiem9801]

Got it.

[@rosa629]

thank you so much LAUREN...

[@victoriaring3846]

So on point! Women put such emphasis on looks etc.

[@lovetmatt]

So true! Awesome video💕

[@lindaesquibel3457]

My name is Linda E I'm so happy I found you. I love your opinion on looking polished. I try my best, my problem is I have to walk with a cane I am now 63 had a bad surgery. in 2010. So I put a cute scarf on my cane. I need some ideas on looking casual nice Style. Also I don't use a computer. I don't mean to sound terrible about asking but I love to get free things how do I do that ? Thank you looking forward to seeing more of your tutorials

[@TheYellowgirl17]

Thank you so much for this video Lauren! I'm getting my personal style together and this really helped me think realistically. Love all of your video! ~Jada

[@innerwilderness3028]

Thanks - and so reassuring. Hope that I can keep this in mind.

[@dcoughla681]

If your hair & grooming are on point, this goes some way to helping you look polished.

[@darinaangelova2882]

Preach!

[@LoveBran189]

Thank you Lauren! ❤️ This definitely hit home.

[@truthprevail5667]

I want to look polished that’s how I found you on KZbin.

[@Anduresh82]

Great video and so true!! Thanks for the perspective! YOU ROCK👍👍👍💯

[@Cbenson0]

Wow, this is exactly what I needed to hear, thanks for the awesome style and life advice! 💜

[@elizabethboccio3877]

Spot on!!

[@ActionJacklyn]

Great message. Thank you

[@IxAMxSMILEY]

I needed this

[@tiondramarkwell4926]

Thank you so much for this video. I truly needed this ♥️

[@seasoneddiva160]

LOL!! Lauren, your PSU really works!!! Maybe a little too well, haaa!!!!! TFS!!

[@noelleteller9203]

Looking frwd to the pinterest slash reality video. I like a lot of the distressed denim looks and ofcourse the heels look great on the women but honestly, it just doesn't seem real to me to wear that often as it is just uncomfortable. I tend to grab my cute slip on sneaks, but then I feel a mess. There has got to be a happy medium. It's like I am trying to fit into these casual but put together distressed denim looks but then I feel like a walking pinterest board. Ugh!

[@WouldntULikeToKnow.]

That and heels are EVERYWHERE on Pinterest. It's the easiest way to dress up a casual outfit but it's so predictable now. There's no way I'm walking around in heels everyday all day. I actually never wear them because I'm not coordinated enough!

[@charchargabor5601]

Omg I say this alllllllll the time 'i want to look polished' lol!

[@nm3677]

I’ve loved your videos for so long and I know exactly what you mean!!! This is so useful

[@davenejonas4375]

Love the hair cut, really dope.

[@hipretty]

Great video! Where did you get that amazing Hermès sign? ❤️

[@love4polishzama455]

Wow, that is super true! ☺ I always think I don't look "polished" because my hair is curly and I can never deal with it. what that means, is that I can't stand it on my face after about 2 hrs and I pull it up and hold it with a pen, baby hairs coming out from everywhere. 😳 the other thing are my shoes. I can't never use nice feminine shoes. I always have bulky...steel toe shoes, because of work...with dress pants.

[@misstickleeast268]

Aide Zamarron me too! 😂😘

[@cubanjavonne]

Girlll! You are so keeping it real! I love it; we need to get back in touch with reality🖤🖤

[@sylviasmith105]

We as women tend to dress for other women's approval and not for ourselves or even our mates,we do not wear outfits that we like and feel comfortable in,once we get past this notion we will not care what others think and be happier and not full of anxiety.Great Vid.!,,

[@AnnafromHungarylvNW]

Yes. Polished typically just means 'way better than the other women'.

[@julianabercot224]

Thank you Lauren!!!!

[@Jenn4rmblk]

Thank you Lauren! I love your vids. New subscriber here!!

[@kl6306]

You made some really good points, but it would have been more helpful if you also gave us a few tips on how to add polish to an outfit other than just adding a coat.

[@indiradahan]

I'm just happy to get my clothes on BEFORE I leave the house lol.

[@tiffaniemcmillan209]

Love your tough love talks. Lol

[@kary3949]

Pinterest life vs real life 😩😍😍😍😍 omg perfect❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@rebeccaday3400]

Are you in Atlanta?

[@chavannachanel]

Love your new hair. 🙌🏾🤗

[@LaurenMessiah]

Thank you :)

[@dlockeartist]

Love this

[@veronicajade20]

Great video! Internet images on IG and Pinterest are often _staged_ and _not real._

[@pamelacardelli1724]

Lauren... absolutely natural b creative b beautiful b you

[@temporarilyblond]

Thank you for this video, I get so stressed and anxious because I don’t feel perfect like the girls on Pinterest, I have to realise I’m human 🤗

[@stephg7400]

I can't get over how much Lauren Messiah and Vani Hari (The Food Babe) resemble each other. Uncanny.

[@raegreen1446]

have you read brené brown's book on shame? you just completely dissected it.

[@LaurenMessiah]

i haven't! *runs to amazon*

[@sherryhudson930]

Love your hair. You are so beautiful. Have to say tho, that oversized top does you no favors. You are so much better than that

[@susanschafer1248]

Amen.

[@sarayan.3467]

Hi Lauren, can we please see your entire outfit in the videos. Can we get a full shot and then a close in and then half short. We tune in to see what you are wearing

[@staroliva6502]

Love,love your videos but,wish you would illustrate pictures.

[@TheWellnessAbbey]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@rryase]

I guess this video wasn't for me because the polished look I'm going for I see On living breathing people walking into my work every week. They look sharp, clean, outfit on point, and effortless. There's no guarantee the pristine they emanate comes from deep inside, but it sure looks like it does! Not high class, money or trend, just straight solid class.

[@brandycolmer7052]

Preach! Thanks for this! Great video! I’m loving your new hair, and where you’re going with your content these days! Mwah!

[@LaurenMessiah]

Thank you so much for the compliment :)

[@beigeslifestyle726]

I got it... KELIS! I think longer hair is a better look. Shorter ages you too much. Great video.

[@ELSITAFERNANDEZ]

To me polished means to look clean and fresh, period.

[@seattlegrrlie]

You aren't going to be airbrushed with perfect lighting all the time. You aren't followed by an entourage like the ladies in the red carpet. Just put your outfit together, make sure your lipstick isn't on your teeth, and remove the cat hair before going out

[@lillylove5553]

Social media is F***ing us up.

[@rosa629]

you look so beautiful and super super feminine....

[@rachmoore]

Love xx

[@pheebelikes3500]

Looking polished dressing up or down could be achievable with the right outfit.

[@4LADYSWEET]

Polished means TAILORED... clean clothes that fits your body well, basically clothes that look like they were made just for you

[@prettyprudent5779]

Must be nice to live in a place where you don’t have to breathe in cigarette poison daily.