Submit to your Husband? | GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE

Probably the most controversial line, by modern standards, in the whole Bible is this: "Wives, submit to your husbands." So what does that really mean?
It can tend to make the hair on the back of a woman's neck stand up. But of course, we must apply the first rule of biblical exegesis. . . Read it in context.
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[@bjdenil]

Lord, thank you for the gift of Christopher and to his ongoing quest to help the Theology of our bodies being known.

[@edalvarez4723]

Submission has several meanings. Etymology is from Latin submittere "to yield, lower, let down, put under, reduce,". I like the explanation that by putting under the head, women become the “heart” of the body I.e. pumps the oxygen to the head. Both needed organs of a united indivisible body.

[@j.p.5716]

But the New Testament was written in Greek. The English word "submission" or (the better translation) "be subject to" comes from the Greek word hupotasso and it is defined as: Strong's Concordance hupotassó: to place or rank under, to subject, to obey Original Word: ὑποτάσσω Part of Speech: Verb Transliteration: hupotassó Phonetic Spelling: (hoop-ot-as'-so) Definition: to place or rank under, to subject, to obey Usage: I place under, subject to; I submit, put myself into subjection. The word hupotasso is a military term that means "rank under". A wife is instructed to rank herself (think military) under her husband and to treat him accordingly. That is, she is to respectfully follow his leadership and to obey every (legal) order he gives. A woman is not to obey her husband if he asks her to sin, but outside of that, she is to submit (and obey) in everything. We would all do better to not just make up the definitions that we like but rather see what the authors meant by what they said.

[@edalvarez4723]

@@j.p.5716 But the New Testament and Old (Hebrew/Greek) was translated into Latin (official language of the Church) & from Latin into English, I’m afraid. Septuagint could certainly have gotten lost (some word or verses) in translation.but that is why theologians gather to approve several translations of the Bible (e.g. NRSV, RVS, KJV, etc). To complicate it more, as you may know, the senses of Scripture are two: Literal and Spiritual. The former has 3 more senses: the allegorical, tropological and anagogical, having different meanings depending on the type of sense you want to address. Hence, there is a danger with only addressing the literal sense (Greek, Latin or English). My comment above is more related to the anagogical sense. God bless 🙏🏼

[@jvogelis]

So simply, yet profoundly put.

[@fleurflair8620]

Thank you so much, this video was like a puzzle piece that helped me better understand my femininity. Praise God ❤

[@TheologyoftheBodyInstitute]

You are so welcome! We're glad it was helpful and thank you for watching.

[@SJ-vd1jh]

“The scripture is not against us.” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@j.p.5716]

The English word "submission" or (the better translation) "be subject to" comes from the Greek word hupotasso and it is defined as: Strong's Concordance hupotassó: to place or rank under, to subject, to obey Original Word: ὑποτάσσω Part of Speech: Verb Transliteration: hupotassó Phonetic Spelling: (hoop-ot-as'-so) Definition: to place or rank under, to subject, to obey Usage: I place under, subject to; I submit, put myself into subjection. The word hupotasso is a military term that means "rank under". A wife is instructed to rank herself (think military) under her husband and to treat him accordingly. That is, she is to respectfully follow his leadership and to obey every (legal) order he gives. A woman is not to obey her husband if he asks her to sin, but outside of that, she is to submit (and obey) in everything.

[@dmt0430]

Perfect! Thanks for posting.

[@Notme811_you]

I want to add. Both parties must submit to God first. Submit to a Godly man, ladies. A godly man tries to be like the man described in the bible. kind, patient, follows the commandment

[@j.p.5716]

@@Notme811_you - Your addition is incorrect. 1 Peter 3:1-2 tells wives that they are to submit to their husbands, even if they are lost or a saved man who is being disobedient to God. "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. " (1 Peter 3"1-2) In fact if you really study the passage, it tells wives they they are to submit to their husbands, even if it causes them to suffer (read 1 Peter 2:18 - 3:2). For a wife, there is NO excuse for not submitting to her husband. The only exception she has is that she does not have to obey her husband if he tells her to sin, in that case she obeys God first, but that is the ONLY exception.

[@Bgpr48]

Wonderful video! Where can I read more about the ideas you talked about in this video?

[@worship_on_ice1610]

How beautiful!!!! Thank you so much for explaining 🥰🙌🏻

[@josephmartin-alexgunduor2312]

😲 Wow....What a Grace!

[@Selahsmum]

With tons of respect, this is a great conversation about ideals. About what should ideally be happening, but its more of a discussion for husbands I think. The reality is that scripture does call us to submit to our husbands, "even if he is disobedient to the word, that he may be won to the word by the holy conduct of his wife." There does not seem to be any caveat that wife doesn't have to submit just because the husband is not fulfilling his duty to love as Christ loved the church. It's not an easy path I can tell you that, in fact its incredibly difficult, but I dont see any way around it when we read St Paul.

[@flashlitestriker4028]

I hear you, girl! The Scriptures you referred to is in 1 Peter 3:1 & 2. I myself have been struggling with the interpretation of that (along with trying to combine that with, "God hath called us to peace"(1 Corinthians 7:15)), for quite a few years, myself. Now I am NOT saying that to "sow doubt", I'm just letting you know that I'm also seeking Christ's healing revelation on THOSE Scripture parts, and for how many of us have understood, &/or mis-understood it, too!

[@j.p.5716]

@@flashlitestriker4028 - That verse does not mean we are called to peace in every circumstance. It applies to what Paul was saying in that context. If the unbeliever goes, let them go, (do not fight them and cause trouble), you are called to peace.

[@PatriciaRoxana78]

My mind is blown. THANK YOU!!!

[@williamscott3123]

Unfiltered truth

[@heatherwhitehead3743]

My Mother did exactly that. It was at the expense of her human dignity. Truly, what man lives up to the example of Christ to the Church in their marriage.

[@vituzui9070]

Manyy men do. The vice of one man doesn't invalidate the virtue of countless other men. Beside, if a husband is a danger for the dignity of his wiife, then his wife, even if she cannot remarry while he's still alive, has the right to live separately from him, to move and take the kids with her if necessary.

[@heatherwhitehead3743]

Yeah, I'm beginning to think we need to stop blaming the thought system the abuse happens in. It'll happen in any. But remember- "Our ills, their ills do instruct." I am but subject to his will.

[@dandylion2837]

Mine did too and they divorced...

[@ez-g3090]

And what woman truly lives up to the example she is supposed to? Goes both ways m0r0n. Don't act like women are something special cuz they are not. Remember it was Eve who convinced Adam to sin. You women are so stup!d.

[@j.p.5716]

God knows exactly the condition of men and yet He had Peter make it cleat (1 Peter 3:1-2) that it does not matter what kind of man a woman is married to. A good man or a bad man, a Christian or a lost man, the wife is commanded to submit to that man regardless, in all areas (where she is not being asked to sin). If you mother felt like she had to give up her dignity to obey God, then she thought higher of herself than she was supposed to think... i.e., she had a pride problem.

[@domenical.2261]

This was just... couldn’t have found better words

[@j.p.5716]

Just horrible.

[@myrnaskogland1268]

As a Christian woman, I finally understand that passage, always had difficulty with that, so thank you for the clear words.

[@j.p.5716]

Actually, if you listened to this man, you are more confused about this passage than ever. This is horrible exegesis.

[@olgapetrouchenko2481]

What an immense gift your channel! Thank you for taking care of us all!

[@samanthatyler6762]

Awesome! Would love to hear Christopher West unpack more about our Kingship and Queenship as men and women. What does this baptismal call mean?

[@poppyde7314]

Wow!

[@user-qm5iv5gd7k]

Wives submit to your husband was used against me since I was 15 if I understood this at a younger age it would have saved me so much pain.

[@flashlitestriker4028]

I love what you're sharing here, but Please, dear Theology of the Body Institute, please help us with understanding the Scriptures of 1 Peter 3:1 & 2, also.

[@j.p.5716]

! Peter 3:1-2 tells wives that they are to submit to their husbands no matter what kind of man he is. He could be a lost man or a saved man who is not being obedient to the word but it does not matter, she is still to submit to him and show him good and respectful behavior in everything (unless he is asking her to sin).

[@ZiraRisasi]

Based

[@tmm4446]

The more we respond to the grace of God, the better we will be able to live this mystery in marriage. In this Year of St. Joseph, let us remember that St. Joseph always used his headship of the Holy Family to serve his wife and foster Son, protecting their lives and providing for their needs selflessly. The Blessed Virgin Mary, full of grace as she was, submitted to St. Joseph’s decisions because she trusted that his decisions were motivated by selfless love for her and Jesus. Mary’s love and respect for St. Joseph allowed him to grow into the great husband and foster father he was. Best part, no one in the Holy Family lost any dignity by submitting to each other. Let us imitate that holiness!

[@soccerlife5041]

Husband is still the leader and decision maker with the goal of deciding what’s best for wife and kids. Mutual submission doest exist and husband doest not submit to wife. Wives submit means to yield or to be under authority of your husband. You can try to sugar quote things but the truth is pretty clear.

[@smokingcrab2290]

This. Women will use this interpretation and weaponize it against men saying "you're not loving me the way I want therefore I don't have to listen to you, have sex with you, etc"

[@ez-g3090]

@@smokingcrab2290 top. These so called Christian women are the worst ones. They have double standards and want providers not lovers.

[@matildamaher1505]

That's right

[@Just.arandom1]

I agree. This dude is sugar coating word of God. Lame

[@adamfaulkner-stanheight6628]

In Ephesians 5:21 it says "Submit to one another out of love for Christ."

[@kamilapatynska-mrozek8867]

This is so beautifull !

[@MaryCWeaver]

So good.

[@j.p.5716]

This is literally heresy.

[@orangetux]

Great talk... and one thing I would add is a simple answer to the title: Yes. If the first move to deny or make that controversial is that women don't like to cede power or that they are fearful of abuse of men, then that should be addressed. But the simple answer to Submit to your Husband? is Yes. Men should submit to their bridegroom as members of the church. Submit to Christ? Yes.

[@PsychoBible]

This is true complementarianism.

[@j.p.5716]

And has absolutely NOTHING to do with what the bible actually teaches.

[@oambitiousone7100]

The guy who makes theology sound hot.

[@rachelpops9239]

Lol I think that's the point

[@SJ-vd1jh]

😂

[@ZinX233]

Why are the captions for God and Jesus lower case?

[@ez-g3090]

Maybe you should make your own video or stop complaining.

[@PaulBurdo]

Great, except, I think you need to rethink your statement that the opposite of hierarchy is anarchy. The foundation of order and government and authority in God’s kingdom, is actually not hierarchy, but “lowerarchy”, that is to say not power over, but power under. This is what love is, power under, or submission… Submission to responsibility, which is what the essence of love is, and why we read that the “government shall be on his shoulders”, and we read so often through the Scriptures how God comes under his people, and bears them up, and bears their sins, griefs, sicknesses, sorrows, etc. Isaiah 53.

[@marytardiff6466]

What confuses me most about Ephesians 5 is that "love your wife," is universally applicable and really can't go wrong; but "obey your husband" is not universally applicable, and can go very badly wrong. It's always good to love, but it's not always good to obey. Loving a wife who's not obeying you might be difficult, but it's still the right thing to do. But obeying a husband who's not loving you is entirely different. Love means treating someone well and willing their good. When can that ever be wrong? But obedience means doing what someone tells you to do. Obedience is only good if the command is good, and if it is within the superior's proper sphere of authority. (And what is a husband's proper sphere of authority over his wife?) In the context of the husband's total Christ-like love for her, the wife's obedience becomes beautiful. BUT, your husband is not Christ, he is a human being. It doesn't take a lot of imagination to realize that the husband might put his wife in a situation where obedience would hurt her, or the family, or the marriage. Saying, "but St. Paul says he should love" doesn't answer the question of what the wife should do for her part if he is not acting as he is supposed to act. I've seen Ephesians 5 applied badly in marriages, and it is always, always at the expense of the wife. There is certainly a good way to interpret this passage (and thanks to Christopher for pointing out that way) but we also can't ignore how much damage has been done to women in the application.

[@smokingcrab2290]

Women get to pick and choose, but men have to be 100% all the time.

[@j.p.5716]

Both of those instructions are universally applicable is every situation. You just have to trust Christ to work it out. The only exception for a wife to not submit to (and obey) her husband is if he asks her to sin. Other than that, she is to submit in everything. Even if it causes her to suffer. (1 Peter 3:1-2) referring back to chapter 2 where it talks about slaves submitting to their masters.

[@reneleow]

6:30😂

[@oambitiousone7100]

Lust and hardness of hearts: the gentiles have overrun us. See popular culture.

[@Coamicfish]

O the difficulties Jacob must have had when he wrestled with God. Here we are called to do the same thing. We have to wrestle with these texts and let the Holy Spirit guide us into the true. It doesn’t come easy! We learn as we go, love her and put her first. Give up your earth passions of the body. But still come together so the devil will not get a foot hold. My wife and I are talking about what this looks like. We are both struggling to get where God wants us. Keep fighting, keep struggling with God and the text. Lean not on your own understanding! Trust God to reveal this mystery in your marriage.

[@j.p.5716]

Honestly the text is not that difficult but this guy rips it to shreds. If both you and you wife want some help in this area, I recommend you buy and read the following books: YOU: The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott HER: The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace Also: YOU: Masculine Christianity by Zachary Garris HER: The Power of a Transformed Wife by Lori Alexander These will get you guys pointed in the right direction.

[@atzuricher6218]

🙄

[@haydongonzalez-dyer2727]

Interesting

[@chriszoghbi916]

That talk is a good talk, nonetheless it is incomplete. If the analogy is priest and temple, Christ and church, man and woman, then how could have paul meant that men and women should submit to each others, or that men should submit to women as women submit to men? Does Christ submit to the church? No. He leads and protects and saves it. He perfectly and lovingly leads and loves it, unto death. When Paul says "submit to each others" he did not end the phrase, he was going to unfold the hierarchy: Submit to each others; women to men, children to parents, slaves to masters, students to teachers, etc. Really, read the text in the bible. To say that Paul meant that men should submit to women as women submit to them when he says "submit to each other" is a mistake, it misunderstands the syntax of Paul's words; it is a linguistic failure... And it is unfortunate that Christopher West is actually the one who is somewhat buying into his culture, and not saint Paul...

[@tripplerizz9382]

so true!! i wish someone would of noterietay could bring this up to Mr. West. Jesus in NO WAY submits to the church. A husband should care and love his wife. Just like Jesus washed the feet of the apostle’s. but important to note that the washing of feet is not an act of submission to the apostles. it is an act of love. of service. Christ only submits to his Father

[@roberthsolano9110]

It means what it means ... the controversy is that it is controversial.

[@smokingcrab2290]

It's because women, even Christian ones, don't want to respect their men. Plain and simple. I've had many talks with my wife on this subject and it was very hard for her to understand the concept of respect. She thought that I was trying to be this mean Tyrant that just wanted her to obey my every command when literally everything I've done for her has been the opposite of that. I told her that respecting and submitting to me literally just means treat me the way she would want to be treated and don't doubt me or treat me like I'm an idiot and when I make a decision that's for the best of our family she should listen. It blew my mind how difficult it was for that to sink in. Women have this idea that submitting to a husband means they no longer have any free will.

[@smokingcrab2290]

I can see a lot of women taking this interpretation and saying "you're not serving me the way I want therefore I don't have to do what you want or give you what you need, make love to you, etc".. Seems like men have to lay down everything and give 100% and women just get to judge if were doing a good enough job of it. And the whole theology of women's bodies being heaven on earth and the man being the priest entering the temple.. What happens when women deny their men sex then? And why do they do it? It's like the man needs to be perfect otherwise he's denied entrance into God's temple.

[@cameronaustin7734]

While all of what you say here is true, it still seems like you are ignoring the part of this quote that makes it controversial. The order this quote established is that the Husband is the Head of the Household which is a power statement even if that power statement suggests that men must love their wives more than the gentiles of the time did. This answer seemed more like you were sidestepping that aspect of the quote. Christians for millenia have still recognized the Husband as being the decider of the family, the king of it, and that is the reason this is controversial, because women today have been told they should give up none of their power to a man and have been taught to disrespect the place of the husband in the family structure. This is the problem that must be dealt with here.

[@laerwin1]

Society has robbed women of the gift of life. We should be raising the next generation because that’s what matters, not being able to work FT. If a woman decides to work then that’s great, but unfortunately women are forced to go to work because financially one income is just not enough. Feminists took it too far.

[@annmarie3573]

I agree with your comment. I agree with everything Chris said, but unfortunately, this reasoning is used by wives to excuse why they cannot submit to their husbands. It goes something like ” Well I would submit to my husband if he was loving me perfectly like Christ lived his Church, but he's far from that so I'm excused from submitting under him.” This is wrong. St. Paul's exhortation to wives (and husband's too) is absolute and independent of the other spouse's personal holiness. Outside of submitting to sin, which you must never do because of our first submission to Christ and His law, yes, you must submit to your husband even if he's not loving you as Christ loves His Church. Even if your husband does not even know and believe in Christ. This is the natural order. Women need to hear this message and we never do. So we have disorder, in societies and in our marriages.

[@aslieas]

@@annmarie3573 Would you say that is the reason the Church does so much to discourage hasty weddings?

[@caitlinreedy7878]

​@@annmarie3573Wives are not called to submit to abuse. If the man is not loving you as Christ loves, and even uses this Scripture as an excuse to rape or abuse their wives, and the wives are convinced they must submit to this in order to fulfill their 'wifely duties', I think it could be just as damaging to say we must submit to that. That also brings disorder to the family and marriages.

[@PsychoBible]

@@caitlinreedy7878 yes, that's why Ann Marie said women are not submit to sin. And abuse is sin.

[@aramisy.cajigas744]

Beta pastors will always have a gynocentric theology, specially in marriage topics. They're neither Christ-centered, nor biblical, while using Bible terminology. They often accuse men of using marriage as a power struggle to aggressively dominate a woman, when in fact in Ephesus, the priestesses of Diana were the ones who dominated men like nowadays modern women and feminists do. Even though there's no power struggle in a Christian marriage, beta pastors would never tell women not to usurp the authority of their hubbies, as they still do in many churches. Beta pastors use gynocentric arguments to victimize women and accuse men, then offer a solution that appeases the feelings of women. Sad.

[@naits7457]

There is no sexual intercourse in heaven because men and women will not marry or remain married to each other there (Matthew 22:30). Because we do not marry there, it also means we do not have sexual desires there. There is no childbearing or the desire for it in heaven because God will give everyone a name and place better than sons and daughters (Isaiah 56:4-5). Marriage, which is sexual intercourse, is a form of this world that will pass away (1 Corinthians 7:27-31). Earthly marriage is a representation of our union with Jesus in heaven and this will be infinitely better (Ephesians 5:31-33). Hell is forever and your body will be concious and burned with fire and infested with worms for eternity, and there is no sexual intercourse or childbearing there as well (Mark 9:48). Although we will not have sexual intercourse, we will still love our former spouses in a non-sexual way forever.

[@nickk4851]

The idea of a wife needing to be told to allow her husband to serve her unto death sounds strange. Would women of that time be uncomfortable with being loved like that by their husbands? I don't think that is the emphasis of Jesus' teaching here. I understand it helps soften a potential blow to some women's pride or misconceptions about marriage, but Jesus says that wives should be subject to their husbands AS TO THE LORD ... IN EVERYTHING. Man is the head of the household, truly, literally. He is the high priest. Meanwhile, a husband is called to the same type of sacrificial love that Jesus displays on the cross, the "servant-leader" as you said - which is very different from a man-servant mind you - prepared to give his life for his wife and children. A husband likewise should nourish and cherish his wife as he would his own body. That is how they are subject to one another. Both men and women today look at the other sex and blame them for not fulfilling their roles adequately; it's time we start looking in the mirror instead. Then look to Christ and Mary and the Saints. Men, Jesus and St. Joseph are our role models - if you think you're anywhere close to living and loving like that, look again. Ladies, Mary is yours. If you're confused at all about your place in family life, look to her humility to guide you. The Holy Family is the perfect family. Let's learn from them.

[@hitthefries]

Mary is a guide for all humans, not just women.

[@nickk4851]

@@hitthefries Of course, but in context, I'm sure you understand why I said what I said. Women should look to her role in the family, men to St. Joseph.

[@smokingcrab2290]

@hitthefries, Mary is just a regular person dude. She didn't write scripture. There's no biblical evidence of her being Holy. There's one mediator for men and that's Christ. 1 Timothy says it. Mary is not relevant other than the role she playing in birthing and raising Christ.

[@salonsarwar4557]

It's all about authority. Wives submit to your husband's authority. Period.

[@m.935]

God did not impose Himself on us, He won our respect with His love. There is no authority without love, only tyranny and psychological abuse from a person under sin of pride.

[@tripplerizz9382]

i think u might be conflating authority with tyranny. God has the ultimate authority. whether u believe in him, hate him, love him, etc … he is the final authority. This is not tyranny. Likewise, a husband has authority over his wife. it is not right for him to abuse. authority is not the same as abuse or excuse. A wife has the obligation to submit to her husband.

[@smokingcrab2290]

@m.935, wrong. God gives us a new heart. He works in us. We are dead in sin and desperately wicked. No one comes to Christ unless the father draweth him.

[@ez-g3090]

If she's not respecting you then replace her with a young fertile cooperative woman. Women are like cars, there's always a better deal. And women lose their value with age and require more maintenance just like a car. But at least a car won't divorce you.

[@ez-g3090]

@@tripplerizz9382 the problem is these feminist women won't submit them complain they can't keep a good guy around for long. Stop acting as if you are the prize in the marriage cuz your not. If anything your more of a burden than a blessing.

[@loveOldMen2023]

but..why i don't have interesting in women's body. in contrast i attract to muscle old man. i'm man

[@ninjamatt2164]

Same. I am attracted to men too. I also question.