Subtle Ways People Manipulate Others Without Knowing It

Manipulation is a nuanced art, often operating in the shadows of human interaction.
Whether it is emotional manipulation, psychological manipulation, or dark manipulation tactics, understanding these manipulation techniques is crucial for safeguarding yourself against potential manipulation and fostering healthier relationships.
#manipulation
Researcher/ Writer: Daila Ayala
Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Drew Baillie
Animator: Arana
KZbin Manager: Cindy Cheong
DISCLAIMER: This video is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not meant to replace medical advice or treatment. If you are in need of a professional, please consult the nearest mental health or relationship, expert. This is not an in-depth analysis. The following descriptions are general on purpose in order for you to dip your toes in. If you would like more information about the following topics, we invite you to search our website and blog, as well as do your own research using other sources.
RESOURCES
Red Mountain Sedona Team. (2017, September 23). Manipulation And Lying. Red Mountain Sedona. redmountainsedona.com/resources/manipulation-and-lying/
The Minds Journal. (2019, April 20). 13 Ways Manipulators Use Passive Aggressiveness To Manipulate and Abuse You. The Good Men Project. goodmenproject.com/featured-content/13-ways-manipulators-use-passive-aggressiveness-to-manipulate-and-abuse-you/
Villines, Z. (2019, September 17). Red Flags: Are You Being Emotionally Manipulated? GoodTherapy.Org Therapy Blog. www.goodtherapy.org/blog/red-flags-are-you-being-emotionally-manipulated-0917197
WebMD Editorial Contributors. (2020, November 23). Manipulation: Symptoms to Look For. WebMD. www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-manipulation#:%7E:text=A%20manipulator%20will%20actively%20lie,you%20and%20gaining%20intellectual%20superiority.&text=Manipulators%20are%20experts%20in%20exaggeration%20and%20generalization

[@Psych2go]

Understanding these manipulation techniques is crucial for safeguarding yourself against potential manipulation and fostering healthier relationships. We'd love to hear your feedback. Are these kind of videos helping you out? If there are other topics you'd like to see more of. Comment below!

[@BigFlusteredMess]

My old friend manipulated my other old friend to stop being friends with me

[@messedupsketchbook]

these videos help me out!

[@Dano-Raise_Riggy]

I worry I might end up doing these again

[@Mediamadkurd]

❤❤ 💔💘💚 درود بر روح شهیدان سنندج سنه دژ سه اژدهای ماد و پارس و پارت آریایی اصیل فرشته نسرین و زهرا شهلا کعبی پرستاران فداکار که به دست جوخه اعدام باند خلخالی پان ترکیست مغول زاده وحشی تیرباران شدند نه می بخشیم و نه فراموش می شود ❤❤

[@Mediamadkurd]

❤❤ درود بر روح شهیدان سنندج سنه دژ سه اژدهای ماد و پارس و پارت آریایی اصیل فرشته نسرین و زهرا شهلا کعبی پرستاران فداکار که به دست جوخه اعدام باند خلخالی پان ترکیست مغول زاده وحشی تیرباران شدند نه می بخشیم و نه فراموش می شود ❤❤

[@ArmandoTrochez-tk5sb]

After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!

[@Teresa-France]

I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how??

[@ArmandoTrochez-tk5sb]

Thanks to my co-worker (Alex) who suggested Ms Claudia Vecchi Nese .

[@ArmandoTrochez-tk5sb]

She's a licensed broker in the states 🇺🇸

[@ArmandoTrochez-tk5sb]

After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.

[@Mary-L.Reyes23]

Great to see you guys talking about her, she changed the game for me.

[@ruhaabqazi9381]

1:40 - Passive Aggressiveness 2:43 - Moving goal posts 3:28 - Manipulation of facts 4:07 - Cruel humor 4:41 - Exaggeration and Generalization 5:23 - Lying 6:36 - Insecurities 7:06 - Fear 7:57 - Silent treatment 8:31 - Recruiting others to help

[@Its_honeythedragon]

Thank you so much for putting this, I'm sure a lot of people need it ❤✝️

[@clumsyloner]

thank you for this

[@beansnrice321]

I grew up in a family that was rather involved in advertising and I was kind of told about manipulation tactics by the way my family would deconstruct ads. Often the ads of other companies. I learned at an early age to dislike attempts at manipulation and often stear clear of a person or group if I detect even the slightest wiff of manipulation. I'm maybe too critical off it and maybe avoid people too often as a result and am now learning to be a little less in need of total control while still trusting my instincts to inform me of dangerous manipulation before it develops into something more advanced.

[@Its_honeythedragon]

First of all, PERIOD❤ Second of all, I invite you to come to Jesus. Reply if you want to know more. ❤❤✝️✝️

[@slickandslaycious6579]

Thanks, I agree. I first learned about manipulation from family and religion. So many times I've heard evangelists tell their followers to find people when they are emotionally vulnerable to attempt to convert. Not unlike cults

[@natsunakusunagi9214]

im heavily guilty of this.

[@dead_channe1]

Realizing the problem is the first step to solving it

[@yukii8564]

Me to... I want to stop

[@jellyalcitrica7418]

Same...

[@vitorpinheiro8388]

Me too, I'm guilty by some of this and I've been trying to stop being like this for a long time, I ended up staying away from other people cause of it and my social anxiety.

[@Mmouse.]

As long as you’re trying to be better that’s all that matters:)

[@laurabuehler]

Don't forget about a grown adult throwing tantrums to get their way. It causes the other people to walk on eggshells to avoid setting off the abuser

[@heshmaxwell]

I was in a narcissistic relationship with these manipulative tactics, and it was hell. I couldn't express my feelings and boundaries; everything was controlled by her. She did whatever she wanted to do and lied all over the place. I couldn't even figure out I was being manipulated until I exited the relationship. It was only 2.5 months, but it felt like 25 years to me.

[@agathaagatin2017]

I think it would be better to first be friends before being in a relationship with someone you don’t know

[@heshmaxwell]

@@agathaagatin2017 She is from my high school, and she knew me as an empathetic person. Also, some guys made fun of me in high school. After 12 years, she targeted me and followed me, asking for my number, and then groomed me with her tactics. I was blinded by her love bombs.

[@empressq444]

I’m glad you got away.

[@user-cw4gi2tq7w]

My mom is very verbally abusive and manipulative. She's like the "we are related thing" or just gets verbal

[@Apeiron242]

If you don't know you're doing it, it's not manipulation. It's just interpersonal incompetence.

[@appa1154]

It is manipulation if you don’t know you’re doing it lol. Narcissists don’t realize how out of touch they are but they still manipulate. Being unaware doesn’t change the result of gaslighting.

[@aaronlindsey2219]

The onus is on them, however, because unless they have had nothing but awful people in their early life, they have likely been abusing their social circles for their entire life

[@nicolanaidoo518]

This video came at the most perfect time. Thank you. I just lived through this

[@Psych2go]

We hops this helps :) did you relate to any of these signs?

[@gopremiummedia29455]

When they showcase fear and exaggeration, it’s like they create this web of anxiety around you, making you feel compelled to do what they want. It’s a very unsettling way of manipulating you to make you feel powerless and vulnerable.

[@redheadbelle]

I’m just an observer to this. Thank you for educating. I hope it helps the right people. One thing is true: I didn’t suspect or didn’t want to believe suicide threat could be used for manipulation, but maybe that is not representing my situation but others. I can call myself immune to manipulation tactics I just love to obeserve them to see how far they could go. Nevertheless, it reminded me to stay careful. Thank you that was at the right time 🙏 Never good if a person has million of faces and thinks others don’t recognize.

[@furret1907]

This entire video feels extremely specific in describing my dad.

[@empressq444]

I’m sorry.

[@empressq444]

I’m sorry.

[@Botjer1]

Mean jokes are hard. You want to joke about someones shortcoming as a way of endearment, without them getting hurt... but its so easy to miss the mark and actually make them feel bad.

[@TheMusicThree-uu5es]

Oh my gosh... 😭 I went thru this struggle last year. I am no longer friends with her and I wonder frequently if she is still okay. 💔😭 She abused, misused, blackmailed, scammed, tricked, conned, lied, hurt, burned, and said that she would commit suicide if I left. I am shaking as I write about this. She did this to me over half a year and then said she was in love with me, altho I was a woman. I can relate so much. Please pray for me. 💔😭💔 🙏🏼 Edit: I can relate to everything said in this video and that is bad. Edit: why are people with two sentences with not a lot of meaning, getting more likes than me? 😭💔

[@Prawnii]

Please get help if you can, that's traumatizing. Speak to people who you know care about you! Ask for help

[@zcretchaosangel]

1st step is to love yourself ❤ please do. Once you love yourself I felt you know what to do. Dont let anybody control you or change of who you are.

[@TheMusicThree-uu5es]

@@Prawnii I would love to, but we don't have that kind of money or time. My other sister is getting counseling and she needs it more than me. 😞💔

[@TheMusicThree-uu5es]

@@zcretchaosangel thank you! 😭🥰😞💔I try to remember that. She did try to change who I am and was, and thankfully I got out of there before she could change me too much. I was doing things I had never done before. Swearing, making boundaries, etc. Thank you for your concern. 🥰😭

[@ily279]

the last one is so accurate !!!

[@redheadbelle]

If you think vulnerability is a weak trait then you are living in a total wrong, messy and doubtful mind space 🙏

[@lydiav107]

🔥 Ty for bringing this to light ❤

[@qdllc]

If you EVER have someone threaten self harm in a relationship, contact the authorities and report it. If they are sincere, intervention is needed. If they are manipulative, they will get a butt load of trouble for their empty threats.

[@bluefox175_]

If only this video was around back in my old relationships. It would've helped me so much. I'm glad it's out there now for others to learn and grow :)

[@rinmorinai]

Is it bad to use Silent Treatment when you tried to be upfront with it multiple times you have been let down every single time?

[@agathaagatin2017]

I don’t think it’s bad

[@ONIGIRISquare]

In your situation it was the right thing to do

[@user-mt6bs2gu6t]

Talking behind your backs is the biggest move to manipulate people .

[@gregorygan2077]

If they say they'll do that to themselves and others call the police

[@BigFlusteredMess]

Sad

[@ShadethetherianOfficial]

8THHH PLEASE POST MORE VIDEOS ABOUT LOVE AND CRUSHES I NEED IT!?!?!

[@A55a551n]

Timestamps 1). Passive-aggressive 1:39 2). Moving goal posts 2:40 3). Manipulation of facts 3:26 4). Cruel humor 4:05 5). Exaggeration and generalization 4:39 6). Lying 5:21 7). Insecurities 6:34 8). Fear 7:04 9). Silent treatment 7:56 10). Recruiting others to help 8:29 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[@AlloyTale]

Jeez… I just watched the start and my friend today went through that

[@aellalee4767]

Ooh a list of how people treat me at work!

[@irislee2154]

thank you

[@TheNonameHousehold]

Yep, these are pretty accurate... I know from experience 😮‍💨😑

[@sadcherry8679]

My red flags in a one video.

[@EthanWoodz]

ong

[@Yohann_Rechter_De-Farge]

Thank you for sharing 🌹🌷🌺

[@Someones_crow0876]

I’m guilty of the fear and passive aggression. It sucks but I will try to stop.

[@niasiamack9333]

Love the calming voice so relaxing

[@Absolhunter251]

Yes…this happened to me with putting up with with manipulators and relationships…

[@Cronoo]

It's usually way more subtle than that. Manipulation doesn't need to be so drastic. Chipping away at little things rather than big grandiose gestures

[@lakshaniwasana2142]

I 'm also a victim ..this is soo true..i've experienced all these things..and also she bad mouthing about me everywhere she goes and i lost my bestie who is with me always more than a decade because of that b%&....💔

[@Hawk_Bro]

The only manipulation tactic i use is to make friends do good stuff for themselves that they wouldnt do otherwise, so they can improve on themself to become better.

[@madhav_mallya9325]

Hey Psych2go, could you please please make a video on signs of PTED (Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder), about what it is, and the why relating to it? I really need a video on that, and Im sure many people affected by it also do.

[@Eliasrazaie]

Hi I admire your content a lot and wondered how do you make them? What program are you using?

[@gedemartha9534]

Hey @Psych2Go, could you make a video about cheating guilt/regret? and how it would impact relationship... People shame cheaters and they never really see the perspective of the cheaters themself. especially those who are guilty. i think its gonna be interesting video if you do make it. i hope you read this😅

[@user-zo2rr6jl3f]

If you don't let the person go that means you never respected that person.

[@liacrow]

I feel like there should be something here about calling a hotline or something when you percieve someone to be threatening suicidal behaviour. It might not be a threat. The fear of being dismissed as manipulative often drives me to hide those feelings and prevents me from getting help until things are truly out of control.

[@XboxRobloxPlayerGamer]

What if I been struggling through bad time and my friends don't believe me and think im ditching them but really I'm not.

[@majesticbeast4830]

Constructive Criticism - I liked the animation and the majority of this content. I wish I had known more about manipulation several years ago. However, I felt the title was misleading. The manipulation scenarios provided were often not subtle, nor were they done "without knowing it". It was also jarring to hear WebMD being cited. It felt like the citations were an afterthought as opposed to doing more thorough research. I'm not saying that is the case. It was simply my perception. I can't articulate why the sources were so jarring to me. I am simply the messenger of my thoughts.

[@ONIGIRISquare]

I'm with you on it

[@junglelove888]

Its mostly poor communication 😢

[@johndouglas3197]

How to spot a manipulative person before a relationship is established with him or her is worth consideration.

[@TheRealZmanzee]

And the times people are are dangerous in general.

[@zcretchaosangel]

I remember the slient treatment was my worst fears in the relationship when I was younger. It hurted. It was the feeling like what did I do wrong. Or trying to fix things. Boy even when my ex turns off his phone completely for a slient treatment.

[@kalliethecat1992]

I had a "friend" like this. He was dating two of my friends and threatened to end himself if they tried to leave. And then when i left him he was bringing up his past trauma that wasn't related to the fight we were having

[@TheChainTV]

a good thumbnail would be Makina controlling someone but this works too :)

[@scuffed_carrot]

Its crazy how i didn't even realize that these all apply to a relationship i had 2 years ago

[@traelstechnologytmalsantua3471]

Yeah I've had enough personally so I'm moving asap

[@Dano-Raise_Riggy]

I am going to end up using these

[@jujirer]

I will experiment.

[@catboxcleaner3532]

8:02 😢

[@SMGDL2009]

I want to share one story about what happend to me in 2022. So it was a normal day texting with my friends. Later someone who i didn't know started to text with me. He was nice to me at the begining but then...he wanted me to do something terrible. He wanted me to show him my face. I said no many times and he always said "Fine, i'll try to find someone better than you" so i told him that i will do it someday but he wanted me to do it immediately. One week later i knew that he was acting like he wanted to date me and he was acting like a teen girl but the truth was that he was just trying to use me. My mom found out about that one night and after that he's been gone. I still remember those days and i don't wanna remember anything about it...and that week changed my whole life forever

[@TheAutisticGeek206]

I had friends who were always like that.

[@junglelove888]

This has happened my Whole life, am not a Victim But it hasn't been fun at all. 😢❤.

[@marian_hayes]

I was in Special Ed for Autism for all of K12 school and my SE teachers were all very manipulative and used these tactics. I remember in elementary school, I had two SE teachers who were friends and they always told lies about me and said them loud enough for my whole class to hear. For example, they tried to make me read out loud with them during reading time, while everyone else read silently, and there was one day in 4th grade when they were standing a few feet away from my table and talking about how I “never read” in front of me and it was loud enough for everyone to hear. And then, one of them threatened to keep me in at recess, even though I was clearly reading and my movements were EXACTLY the same as everyone else’s. And I also had an extremely toxic friend during those years who just preyed off my insecurities and took everything my SE teachers said and used it against me. And I also had a manipulative SE teacher in high school. I remember her saying that I was allowed to go to her classroom if I was going through it and that she was open to hearing my problems, but whenever I did have a problem, she would say things like “stop crying, it’s a small problem,” and then would ask if anyone was hurt or in the hospital. I remember there was one time my senior year when I was on my commute to school and one of my tires fell off on the way, which was literally a near death experience, so I was very shocked and had to go to her room cuz I couldn’t think straight. But even when it was a big problem, she’d still try to undermine my problem and make it seem like I was the problem. That was a situation where I coulda literally gotten severely injured or died, and she still wouldn’t help me with it. And I remember she got pregnant my junior year, and I became close to my high school band director while she was on maternity leave. Since I learned that I had other options of people I could turn to, who were WAY better than my SE teachers, I stopped talking to this SE teacher all together and started talking to my BD instead. But eventually, the SE teacher found out that I was close to my BD and got my BD on her team and basically turned her against me. Yeah, even the people you least expect can be extremely manipulative. It can be someone who has a great reputation, like all my SE teachers, and they just get away with it cuz no one believes you when you try to tell them about how awful they truly are.

[@SoJangHo37]

So that teacher was good but somehow she manages to turn her in her side too Why does she do that?Do you think it's because of jealousy or she was thinking that she will be your only (emotional) support?

[@EMDrecs1]

Passive aggression is for creeps. And I’ve had more problems with males doing this.

[@alexdraws0123]

The thumbnail is what made me click on the video (it reminded of a streamer & what happened to her), but I ended up seeing a lot of similarities to what my ex was doing to me in our relationship.

[@coolestkideva]

Where is the other narrator 😭😭

[@softheticvbez7746]

Guys help I have a very sarcastic sense of humor and I always make stupid jokes for example if my friend jokes about being preggo I would say "thats why u look fat" or one of my friends was upset cuz she thought she was boring and I said "ur not boring ur just...not loud like I am" and I always laugh after and say "omg im jkjk u know im jk right?" And my friends know I'm awkward and say stupid stuff without thinking so they kinda just put up with it and they have told me many times I'm an amazing friend But likeeeee I can totally see why my behavior might be toxic...pls someone let me know so I can learn❤❤❤

[@LazyAsHellChannel]

My „sister“ and a rich ex friend of mine are like that, 100%. I‘ll never forget what they‘ve done to me, even if I broke contact with them.

[@teegutta4689]

GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND TOXIC FAMILY I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT I 💙 THEM TEE 💯🙏💪💙 PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS

[@ook23]

actually don't mind me.. i just want to get this off my head,you know what ,i feel so useless like i can't do anything right ,i don't have a look i should have in my age i look small it's sometimes irritate me.i don't have a healthy family either,not good parents i don't have a good mental health i always worried about something i just can't i always think about it and feel so messed up like how i am end up hereno one around me know about my suffering I'm so good at hiding it.i don't remember when did i feel so light like litterly when i had smile without worry i just can't handle this my parent are acting like they are the best but they aren't. they aren't bully me but I'm mentally worried,sad i just wanna love.i don't have any friend either i feel so useless. i want to start over i want to be happy but i have no idea

[@ariette6847]

I have all of these except 1. I know I manipulate others but it’s just in my genes. I mean, my mom and dad have too

[@MisguidingWish]

Actually these are really good to use, against the ones who deserve it. But if u know u might accidentally do this to ur loved ones who u never want to do it on. Educate them on ur manipulative side and tell them u really love them which is why whenever i end up doing this stuff i trust u to not get entangled in and remind me to Stop.

[@kaiotrem358]

Hey its very hard to watch the video when i am sleeping

[@arin2815]

Without watching the video here's something I wanna say first: We humans are at the top of the food chain. We are social beings who live in the strongest society of the planet. We have no inter-species competition but only individual competition. As such manipulating others and being manipulated by others is something that happens daily and often without much concious thought. People who do it consciously are whom we call manipulators. Thank you.

[@thesewer-pf2pb]

Me taking notes to get better at the skill: 👀

[@LBoomsky]

wow now i know what to call the things someone does yay :/ lol tf can i do if its online then 💀 just gotta wait until i never see them again and they take all my friends with?

[@deineadam2240]

I had someone threaten that. I walked away and he said he'd join the army.

[@Zairn12345]

Let em. Thy need numbers 😂

[@naxieysadventures5506]

in the UK, if anyone threatens you with killing themselves, you are fully able to call 999 and get an ambulance to go to them. As this is a life threatening situation they will send mental health first aiders to help that person and that removes the burden from you.

[@TheClarCker]

♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@ArtHeartAlex]

I hate that I do these things... how do I get better? I always feel like a monster because I manipulate without meaning to. My family did all of these things to me. I don't know how to behave.

[@hmmnope9231]

Try to spot these behaviours stated in video as they happen. Eventually you will get better at stopping it before it happens to the point you don’t have that problem anymore.

[@Sun09233]

Why you replace narrator Amanda nowadays 🥺🥺🥺🥺😔😔😔😔

[@Starfruit77]

only 8 comments?? Im early woooo

[@rimaruttempest6109]

Please animate pants 😭

[@user-re9ch3ig6r]

Манипуляции...Манипуляции..Манипуляции😄🤣 Оказывается манипуляторами могут быть не только люди но и .. соц.сеть...)) Я на себе это испытала.)

[@StewieGrii5EditsWithProAction]

Ive been abused and bullied by my group im trying to breakup with the "boys"

[@brianakuhn4177]

Is it possible to manipulate other people without realizing it?

[@EthanWoodz]

Ig it is 😭

[@Xathaarian]

I like the Irish accent.

[@damnablethief]

Man

[@laurabuehler]

Why are these characters naked from the waist down?

[@InotQuinn]

Damn. Im a shit person. Time to change for the better

[@YC153]

What kind of coward breaks up through a text message?! That's pretty toxic in itself.

[@user-mz5kk6ic1w]

what happened to your voice???

[@Ryuixn]

Maybe i am the asshole....

[@EthanWoodz]

Real

[@SmartKonrad]

Banana soup

[@emisstuff69]

OH MY GOD. AM I SCHIZOPHRENIC? IS THAT WILBUR SOOT IN THE THUMBNAIL?

[@natashamudford4011]

Narrator has a strange voice, as if she's trying to be seductive. I wonder what her normal voice sounds like?

[@faithalderink6218]

Anyone else realize you use these on yourself?

[@BaryernMunich]

These are not that effective

[@arshad4695]

Please speak clearly, it is kinda hard to understand what you are saying with out putting speaker next to my ears

[@TBNAfrangsYT]

Is it possible for a manipulator to not want to have power? I ask because I do share a lot with the manipulator, but I just want to help. I think my past experiences have shaped me towards a more ill person, but I have decided it isn’t right. I want to help by doing dirty work, like tidying classrooms even though it isn’t required to pick up after others. I don’t want power, I just want to be happy. I love my friends and my family, and strangers, and even my enemies. I’d like to help people, even if they don’t need it. It makes me feel joy, even if I’m scared to approach the person because of certain reasons. I’ll help an enemy find their binder. I’ll help a popular girl who hates me with their math homework. I’ll help my teachers by tidying up after others. Heck, I’ll even give a mean kid my spare water bottle because they clearly needed it. I want to be a better person. I have a driving passion to help others in want or in need. I don’t want to be a manipulator, I want to be a positive reinforcer. I just need help. I can’t do it alone. I’ll find people to help me be better than my best. PostScript: I shed some tears while writing this, lol!

[@arthurericksoncoquia4060]

100th comment:)

[@Realworlddummy]

bro this channel is manipulation itself lmao who trained these narrators to talk the same way

[@damnablethief]

Last ex and I did alot of this to eachother...never want something like that again. Not that it matters, noone wants me anyway. She made sure I knew that.

[@OM-qb9lm]

what is this off-brand ASMR voice?