Surprisingly Easy Way to Get Kids to Listen Without Yelling

[@DoctorJacque]

✍ Tell me in the comments - why do you think this works or doesn't work?

[@jax1207]

Incredible!!! I just used it on a bit with ASD and it worked like a charm. What I changed as well was instead of using a long winded sentence I just used two/three words.

[@DoctorJacque]

So glad it was helpful for you! And yes, sometimes simpler or shorter is better 😊

[@TM15HAKRN]

@jax1207 😊 I need all advice in world... Anything which will help Welcome 🙏

[@Stanrb]

This is super helpful! Thank you! It’s also a much easier tool/tip to remember and do when I’m already overwhelmed. Which happens a lot 😂

[@DoctorJacque]

Glad to hear it! Having something that's simple and can be automatic definitely helps when emotions get big (whether it's us, as parents, or our kids).

[@caitlink9374]

This has worked for me the couple of times that I've tried it so far! But I have a question... If the task I'm asking my son to do is something like "please pick up your toys" how would I move to the 3rd step of guiding him/helping him to do it? Like do I just start picking up toys and what if he still just sits there and doesnt help me?

[@DoctorJacque]

Great to hear - and good question! I think there are several options here that somewhat depend on age/ability of the child. One option is to gently guide them over to the toys or hold their hand as you start to pick up the toys. If they begin to clean up, be sure to comment on it! Other options for clean-up or multi-step directions aren't explicitly mentioned in the video and probably deserve a video on their own. You can make the task smaller from the start to make it less overwhelming and more manageable. Like, instead of "pick up the toys." Start with one specific item or one group of toys. After that gets done, then give another direction for the next. Another route is to just put some sort of contingency in place (when appropriate, you have time, and makes sense), like - "after you clean up the toys, then I'll be able to read that book to you. Or you can watch that show," or whatever it might be that's fun or interesting and can happen after. Hold the boundary with what you say and stay consistent. Remember, none of this has to be perfect or 100%. When kids have trouble, use their behavior as a clue to what's going on for them emotionally and inside their body - what could be making it harder for them or causing them to resist? And then try to adjust based on that.

[@caitlink9374]

@@DoctorJacque Thank you sooo much for your response! He's 5 and has been doing really well with this technique. I always make sure to give him positive reinforcement throughout the day, even on little things. I'm trying sooooo hard to be the best mom, sometimes I think I'm overanalyzing everything. I've been that way since he was born. Our story is a little bit different than some others, but I'm doing my best

[@DoctorJacque]

You're welcome! It's such a tough job, especially when your situation or story is different from others. I have no doubt that you're doing great :-)

[@lisglez7955]

We sing and and it works so well!​@DoctorJacque

[@TM15HAKRN]

@caitlink9374 Thanks...it helps.. Positive reinforcement much easier than To handle their low self-esteem issues... When they grow up... By constantly encouraging we never let it be more and overwhelming...

[@user-of6te8yw5k]

Thank you so much! You are such a blessing ❣️

[@TM15HAKRN]

Helps If you warn them earlier also It helps I say that better than rushing for shoes in morning..select shoes in advance like your dad so you can prevent that last minute rush.. I also offered to clean it for him Too...then on He seems adjusted to that and really tries to keep it in advance And last minute struggle avoided 😅

[@safirerose133]

Does this work with 11yr olds

[@DoctorJacque]

The general idea, yes. However for older kids, I would probably not physically help them do the thing you are asking. I may instead approach the boundary/follow through with something like, “when you do X (the thing you want them to do), then you/we can do Y (the thing they’d rather do).”

[@kimblelavoie73]

What age is this for? Thanks

[@Kujer708]

That's not how I was raised and it makes it so hard to parent that way.

[@DoctorJacque]

It is so hard - to try and do something different that what you were used to, to go against what your natural and learned response might be. Just like everything else though, I think parenting evolves too. And that emotional side of parenting is the toughest. I wish more people talked about that openly. In the end, we always have to do what feels best and makes sense for our own families.

[@monique.110]

Same