Why do good girls get to 40 single, While "bad" girls get married - Benjamin Zulu

[@SwitchTVKenya]

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[@loisenjuguna26]

Oooh,,this topic was meant for me🤔

[@olivianamirembe2173]

Bad girls don't have what to protect but good girls take time to decide

[@DrUnatiDrMHealthCorner]

@@loisenjuguna26 do something about it girl :).

[@loisenjuguna26]

@@DrUnatiDrMHealthCorner 😉I will my dear

[@DrUnatiDrMHealthCorner]

@@loisenjuguna26 guess what. We're intouch. I found him on his IG. Will be interviewing him this coming Saturday ❤️❤️✌️😅

[@leen.4205]

I am one of those who got married after 40. I had many instances where I would have gotten married but I said NO!.. God brought me the man of my dreams who loves me unconditionally, and treats me like a queen. I am so glad I waited as we are happily married, pray, cook, wash, travel together etc. Its unconditional love that I have been blessed with. I don't regret saying no to marriage in my younger age. Also we didn't engage in s*x before marriage!!

[@burundishallsmile1day109]

@Nelson Mandela 🤣🤣🤣

[@burundishallsmile1day109]

@Lee N. In this age and time, getting married 40+ is the right time. Because the Concern people already mature and know what they want in life . Before that, temptation and Confusion plays in.

[@keruboebby4526]

Glory

[@itsmimi4135]

Nelson Mandela 😂😂😅

[@theondresjohnson5956]

Yeah, but it’s harder having a baby after 40.

[@ezerbia]

Sometimes it is better to be referred to as an old maid than marry a man who will wreak havoc in your life for the sake of marriage. Also it is better to be single than divorced.

[@vickvique3859]

Very true but when will marriage be valued again, it's a good thing that was ordained by God, it needs to be regarded very highly but this days it's not...

[@mandisagqada6194]

Spot on..

[@wanjiruannecate1035]

It is better to be divorced than dead.

[@williamomare2066]

y

[@maryannekamui9230]

@@wanjiruannecate1035 true

[@chisuwochabu250]

Being an older child, I've ended up hating marriage because I've been a mediator in my parents marriage, I've been a parent to my siblings, I'm tired already before I even have my own family

[@hajaarsmith5930]

Oh oooo. So sorry to hear that. That's alot to take on. I pray that you are healed from all this and that you shall not be weary.

[@chisuwochabu250]

@@hajaarsmith5930 thank you, I've decided to take some time off from everything and just focus on me until I start feeling better.

[@relate2879]

This hit home😢God bless

[@achatwithgoitse]

There is always a reason darling. You've already learned to be content single and how to choose a partner wisely. Be blessed.

[@chisuwochabu250]

@@achatwithgoitse thank you ♥️🙏

[@gingergee1]

Im jus before 40, i slay, beautiful and carefree.. i jus have not found my personal person.... There is no formula for these things... God makes all things beautiful in his time

[@pp-od2ht]

Very true indeed

[@damarisndanu6655]

Amen

[@miminiss5145]

The society is the problem

[@pp-od2ht]

@@miminiss5145 if everything in society had changed by us now this simple thing also has to be changed by we society k Society is nothing It's only we peopkes So we have to change these types foolishness of the past k

[@pp-od2ht]

Very true friend Keep it 👍

[@chrystalmcphee9058]

"Your parents can't guide you where they have never went." Wow...powerful

[@hannahbamwerinde9629]

Very true 😂😂😂😂

[@katarzynalindner594]

So so true. I am so afraid to end up like mine. Pigmalion Effect

[@berlynochich8795]

Jehovaaah, this man #Benjamin I love you😻

[@nilanthifernando8028]

Very true!!!

[@gabriellawauye5586]

I disagree ✍🏿

[@kimmyw.1359]

As you listen to him, I want you to know that marriage isn't your life's goal and purpose.

[@amlek2200]

DREAM?

[@Ukversuskenya]

#hit.

[@nolithamdleleni4985]

So true marriage is gift

[@iradukunda3699]

Amen to that sis!

[@missjenn6861]

He clarified that, he’s talking about women who are looking for one.

[@drgee4736]

But ladies remember..... dont get married without being financially stable. You will thank me later.

[@mtemdlamini5107]

Dr Gee so true, your voice is heard when you are financially ok.

[@prossykiconco9552]

Thank you

[@drgee4736]

@@victoriamuthoni6923 everything has two sides like a coin. I haven't said such thing cant happen..... its another side.... but its less secure... as you are talking basing on your xperience, Im talking basing on the reality happening in high percentage, and thats my point.

[@marymuriithi6678]

Thanks 😘

[@Missforexcharts]

Thank u , because men tend to suppress woman when they are the only provider in the home, get ur career together, get ur coins at the same time u looking for Mr right too.

[@TravelingDiva-vp1gt]

I'm 35 and divorced, and I wish I never settled and married my ex. I would rather travel the world and focus on my own happiness, than remarry.

[@fellysiencube8197]

That's me😂

[@sweethearts86]

That's where I'm at right now in my mindset. I'm hating the idea of dating men right now. I just want to have a fabulous time traveling, partying, and making awesome friends.

[@EvaElizabeth]

@Traveling Diva2018 iam almost married 1 week later then all the sudden he cancelled the wedding because I was kidding about move back the wedding date. Iam so broken hearted thanks for ur testimony

[@PEACEJ1154]

Same here🤮

[@nomathembanomathemba1640]

You are going to meet a nice guy one day Even my aunt after she loose her husband she said she will never guessed what she's married again she's a widow

[@samuelgitahi2065]

I think those 40yr old single ladies are stigmatised enough. God knows them by name.give them a break

[@nametsobertha9834]

Thank you...

[@dolly2405]

Thank you

[@EKL-vf9qj]

Such a sensitive comment. Thank you.😊

[@sarahTaurus254]

True

[@Ukversuskenya]

Samuel Gitahi... Show some love.

[@katbee4594]

When he said “your parents can’t guide you any further than they went” I felt that shit

[@omothefavoured]

That's so true ...some real wisdom there .

[@mashermta]

That's me....oh God help me

[@f3042]

That’s really the biggest issue.

[@kibuikamwangi17]

Not always but there is a point in there

[@mwendapoleee]

Eeeeeeh i remember i had my ticket my mum said i should cash it in ,i told her no way.

[@dolphineakoth]

Never chase a man, thats when your crown falls.

[@cikuciku2355]

Dolphine Akoth Absolutely True

[@winnieann7052]

Pia wewe uko huku😂😂😂

[@cikuciku2355]

Some men are unpredictable one can chase a man,then a man gives in then later on that is after one ashaoleka plus with several kids from the man then later on such a man begins to despise ,cheating etc and when the lady who chased him happens to question him this is what she get “ after all I wasn’t interested with you in the 1st place wewe ndio ulinitongoza” then such a lady ends up accommodating all the mathash towards her from her hubby..these are things I have seen happening sisemi bure ni several wacha tuu.

[@BlackGypsyCharm]

Hehe it has nothing to do with that its about affection kama amekupenda amependa if you chase him he will be more flattered kama hakufeel even if you pull away its likely he wont follow you.

[@ckayentertainment392]

No woman is Worthy chasing

[@amoitlaureen3878]

Uncles: Your age mates are getting married, why are you not getting married? Me: Your age mates are dying, who is asking you to die?

[@ratnapratiwi2872]

Good slap ladies...

[@nyaboketinega4646]

Love this absolutely

[@susanmohamed7951]

BEST COME BACK I HAVE EVER HEARD! Only would be caught dead ACTUALLY saying lol! Great one!

[@DevotionswithAchiro]

Hehehehe...

[@toddie3910]

😂😂😂

[@elijahogolah1497]

"Don't get too used to loneliness till you forget that love is still an option"... That was deep

[@Dreamsareareality]

People are forced to treat you well when you are good to yourself. Keep shining queens!!

[@DowntownMeganBrown]

You do weed the bad ones out

[@sallykimaru953]

Don’t get so used to loneliness that you forget that love is still an option. Wow!

[@mzg2125]

That's my problem I love my loneliness. I'm angry at times and afraid to get hurt!

[@nomsamoyo664]

My problem. M alwys home wrkn from home I hardly go out

[@mawia9004]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/bKGcg4l-mdV4o6s

[@EKL-vf9qj]

That's deep....and true.

[@DowntownMeganBrown]

I am very comfortable being alone, too comfortable

[@iam1408]

Person: You need to get married, you're getting older Nobody: Didn't know getting married will stop me from getting older

[@paulettejones2606]

Got married at 24yrs olf

[@indriadrayton1132]

I AM I😁

[@vickvique3859]

Hahaha wow

[@pp-od2ht]

@@paulettejones2606 foolushness

[@Irene-qt6cw]

😂

[@rebsjoy6892]

It's not a sin to be single I'm single and 45 years old and I'm enjoying my life

[@presidentofkenya6896]

Listen to what he said at 1:11. If you are single by choice it's okay. But if you are still searching, then maybe you might follow his tips to adjust the way you have been approaching things in order to make yourself more visible to potential suitors.

[@bedecn262]

He made that clear from the beginning. Good for you

[@madalitsobanda6631]

@@presidentofkenya6896 Thank you I wanted to say the same thing

[@mawia9004]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/bKGcg4l-mdV4o6s

[@georgeokechi7540]

Enjoy your life woman, you don't have to pls anyone. Marriage does not = Happiness!

[@writerbabe1]

Once you realize why most people marry you won’t feel you’re missing out. Most people are in and out of marriage or hanging on to someone for the sake of being married. It’s better to be single and at peace than attached to someone you don’t love.

[@sheilaachieng809]

Why are single people in the comments so defensive. He started of by saying that he is talking to those who are single, not by choice and would wish they were married. If you're happily single then do you, this video is in fact not for you

[@nonhla_shembe]

That’s what I’m also noticing. The disclaimer was very clear in the beginning who he’s talking about

[@Fatimasssstory]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/foa5oXeLZbR7hq8 so sad, woman dies one day after her wedding in Lagos. See what happened

[@catherinezata4858]

Loool deep down they aren't happy 😂😂😂

[@Ukversuskenya]

The truth dear... Hurts🙊

[@fgadzira2561]

Lol I swear People shld take advice without being defensive.Those who are single and happy this discussion is not for you.He literally was referring to those who are Single and searching (solutions to get that man)

[@chisuwochabu250]

The answer is simple, marriage is not the goal, Happiness is♥️

[@blessinganusionwu9117]

I agree with you love

[@faithkerubo6470]

Negotiations are done in the boardroom not the bedroom. I also think most girls are heartbroken because we keep playing wife to men who are not our husbands. Let a man marry you first before you start playing wife.

[@ladysafari01]

Exactly! No man read *boyfriend or fiance deserves to be treated like a husband when he has not put a ring on it. Ladies you don't have to prove to him that you are wife material- no cooking for him, no laundering his clothes and certainly no showing your bedroom skills...Please wisen up! If he loves you; it has to be unconditionally.

[@hunadilentswana6962]

Wooooooooooow, was you got a point, i think it is because of our desperate to be wives...we are really desperate😔

[@zainabinti5170]

Soooo true!!!!

[@spaceousnthambi6342]

Sometimes i wonder if people think of sex when talking about doing wifey things😅. Sometimes I think, when you meet the one that's ready and loves you, with rules or not you get married. Some of those applying rules are still single. Live life.

[@faithkerubo6470]

@@spaceousnthambi6342 you have a point. However, life should be done through gambling. Mostly we see a man we fancy and go into 'winning him' mode. That's how we play wife. However, if you meet a guy who loves you, he will be glad to put a ring on it without needing you to play wife. All said and done, yes, let's noy do rules too long!

[@Thebecomingherpodcast]

I’m 36 but I just told someone this today. I’m not married or have children because I’ve dedicated myself to my family instead of building my own. But things have changed now. I’m about to have my own. Thank you he is so right. I go work home church! Lol

[@asteriamariambereshu3927]

That's all me too, work, home and church. I need to change my ward robe. I have clothes for choir , I think that's why he can't marry me. I like this talk show

[@f3042]

Ditto. I realized I was centering my life around my mother’s issues. And working too much.

[@imdinma9826]

Best of luck sis ❤❤

[@ellaonyii]

This video was very helpful. I'm 33 years old, still single never been married believing God for a good man to settle down.

[@charmainepanganai6722]

Am also 33 years old and single (never been married). I share the same sentiments. God's time.

[@nosiphosibisi8227]

Same whatsapp group.

[@sarah1966]

Really dear so much helpful 💗 thank God for it

[@cammyokinda1735]

Me too here hoping for God

[@geoffrey7915]

God will come thru for u dia..

[@Ukversuskenya]

Since I'm over 40 and divorced, God fearing, hardworking, smart, etc let me sit at the corner and listen. Give some love . With love from London ❤️

[@joyceofori2175]

Hi

[@etunatutala]

Search on KZbin for a channel "MotivatingU2Win"

[@elizabethkimura656]

Don't get so used to loneliness that you forget that love is still an option....wow!!

[@almanjeri2083]

That's me

[@chntymnemo3964]

@Rough Diamond me too😰😰😰

[@annamayyy9771]

I've already forgotten 😂🤣

[@kamzamosweu2269]

@Anonymous I don't think anyone should do that, rather don't marry at all instead of settling for less because resentment is common in those kinds of relationships, who wants to be miserable for the rest of their lives?

[@brownskin5373]

@Anonymous 🤒🤒🤒huuuu

[@PoeCommunicateATL]

But many of those "bad" girls are living a lie in unhappy marriages.

[@timothyachochi1941]

No I don't agree with u

[@annnjeri2999]

Unfortunately that's how good girls convince themselves

[@cikumainone]

Unfortunately that's what we good girls tell ourselves. Baby Girl, we have to change our mindset; there is beautiful love out there for all of us. Just step into it in love....oh girl and there is money too!

[@annnjeri2999]

There is enough love for everyone. I don't see why one would think that just because bad girls sometimes get married before some good girls, that they must be in unhappy marriages. True love wake to anyone, anywhere,any day.

[@cikumainone]

@@annnjeri2999 I'm with you on this one. Once we believe that there is abundant love for all of us...it will flow towards us at the right time. There are happy marriages out there. Let's expose ourselves to positive content. The narrative will change.

[@Mowizzy1]

I'm glad he addressed that not everyone wants to be married. Thank you for addressing that part first and foremost

[@Fatimasssstory]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/foa5oXeLZbR7hq8 woman dies one day after her wedding in Lagos State. See what happened

[@naijarealty247tv5]

Marriage is not for everyone.

[@chisuwochabu250]

It was such a breath of fresh air...

[@vtymes1982]

W Quarantine has taught me how much I love being alone ❤👑💐👠💎💞

[@zoe1870]

First borns really carry more than their parents.

[@beatricechipepo4006]

You have point my dear

[@bossladyblues]

My dear, this is so true 😩

[@mariaanyango4312]

The accuracy

[@momseffortjamila6955]

Alot. And all what he is saying i am guilty

[@kibuikamwangi17]

What? You're not aparent i suppose

[@lessstresscommunication8642]

"Look Queenly" Treat yourself as a queen it will radiate to those around you and they will treat you as the queen you are.

[@lessstresscommunication8642]

Don't give a man exclusivity before he earns it......ON POINT.!

[@calebmutugi7191]

What if you are not a queen pretending to beone,be yourself,achana na huyu jamaa,guys see fake and real.

[@lessstresscommunication8642]

@@calebmutugi7191 by queen I don't mean the many slay queens around. By Queen I mine you respect yourself and care for yourself and treat yourself well. Carry yourself with respect and that will be what others will do the same for you.

[@calebmutugi7191]

@@lessstresscommunication8642 i had forgotten that i had commented,😂uko na point lakini God gives husbands and wives,i dont know how,but He does,only humans subdue His Will.Wanasemahuyo sitaki.Power of money,but God is saying:wisdom will build a home,Never money,so,if you think looking to impress you will get a husband,definitely you will get,but whose love is limited to looks.The other spectrum is true.

[@janeotieno6378]

@@calebmutugi7191 what he meant is recognizing your value and Worth... That way,you will attract people that match your energy.

[@forgivepraisebetogod8196]

Marriage is about God plan His time is the best

[@MsKanyi]

And more importantly the right partner

[@mariasono6117]

So true and it has nothing to do with age but God's perfect plan.Amen.

[@georgeokechi7540]

Then how come you have so many single women over 30 in Church.

[@mariasono6117]

@@georgeokechi7540 One thing I know God never fails His children,as long as they are true to God then no matter what age God never dissapoints those who trust in Him.The how come I cannot answe to but fact that He is faithful to tge faithful and loyal to the loyal,He fails not,I trustcHim 100 percent and He is God many times we will not understand His ways but we know all things work together for good to those who love Him.It shall come to pass to those who will wait for Him and it will be perfect for them.

[@MsKanyi]

@@georgeokechi7540 Did God say 30 is the age of marriage? 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@everlynewang7899]

"Don't give a man exclusivity before he earns it" This spoke to me and I won't lie been a victim of this and learned it the hard way

[@blessedbeautiful3872]

What do u mean by that

[@everlynewang7899]

@@blessedbeautiful3872 by what exactly

[@everlynewang7899]

Did you watch the video the part he says that don't give a man exclusivity until he earns it.. Meaning just coz you are seeing the guy don't lock out other potential guys. Just because you are dating a guy you can still talk to others guys doesn't mean you are cheating. So don't lock out other potential guys. The guy should earn exclusivity in your life

[@blessedbeautiful3872]

@@everlynewang7899 Thanks beautiful l get it

[@kadzo6614]

Sis same

[@lucymbewe9038]

That was my triangle life, school home church and that's the life I loved I prayed for a husband and God gave me one good one right at church. I hate clubs I hate crowds and here I am today married for 7 years with two beautiful kids. I used to and still wear clothes that cover my knees and still people follow. It's all in your character

[@atienomitchell]

Yaaa amen I believe dressing code doesn't matter, am a highschool student and that's same for me

[@faithfulinspirations4721]

Exactly too. Thank God for people like you

[@brideage645]

True, a husband comes from God🙏🏽

[@mashermta]

Exactly me . Still single and waiting on God

[@sharleenwanjiru2984]

Yeah be yourself

[@brayo144]

I'm a man but found his points very accurate especially on social isolation and the need to heal. I'm turning 30 but never been in a meaningful relationship despite wanting to. I've struggled with depression since I was 10. Also experienced abuse from my step-father and watched my mother suffer in an abusive marriage. I get a lot of interest from girls , since I look much younger than I am, but I have never been able to "let them in". I guess I'm scared of the pain. I'm scared of getting hurt and ending up like my mom or worse, hurting people like my step-dad. Healing is not easy at all!

[@gracegrace5861]

May you receive healing from God

[@immaculateknight9341]

Receive healing in Jesus name. It is well

[@winniekanana5835]

Start a healing journey. Find purpose of your life. Start talking peace, prosperity and stay positive that all shall be well. Again start forgiveness. Forgive yourself for thinking that all is lost. Forgive your mother for allowing fear to jail her in an abusive relationship and forgive your father for hurting all of you. Then find your space in the land of the living. Read the word of God more and more. All the best.

[@wainoijoy]

Wow, I think I understand you perfectly well.

[@_findingGod]

I wish you well, Brayo. If there is a hell, depression is it. Are you a reader? If yes, I have personally found this book to be helpful "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl. All in all, you are seen. Keep fighting. Peace and Love.x

[@Favouredflower]

Don't give a man exclusivity before he earns it✅✅✅

[@MsKanyi]

Boardroom assessment before bedroom sexment 😜😁

[@classysis6264]

Exactly!!! Exclusivity also is not necessarily sex, it’s pretty not putting all your eggs in one basket....

[@achatwithgoitse]

@@classysis6264 nobody teaches this hey

[@bluebird4815]

Exactly and women need to learn to multiple date. Dating is about vetting out people. No sex, or touchy feely stuff. Just date and keep your eyes wide open and your heart locked away. Date with your BRAIN!!!!

[@mmabathokoloi2518]

Because “bad” girls meet people, they socialize and meet their perfect match and “good” girls stay home. I am a “good” girl. While my friends went to socialize, I was home and trust me, I have nothing while they are married, have kids, have cars and houses. I always tell younger girls, it’s all a lie, I regret not going out to clubs and restaurants and all those things. In my hood, parents love me coz I have “morals”, but morals didn’t get me anything. I should have went to socialize but I chose to stay home. It’s a lie girls, GO TO THE CLUBS. God still loves you even if you go to the club

[@Makgosi-gadi]

Yep, problem is that we have been lied to..

[@ladysafari01]

My dear girl, going to the club doesn't get you a husband or it may; but what kind of a husband?You want to meet someone that is not under the influence of OCOHO and is in his sober mind when he makes that decision of choosing you as the one. Staying at home will not get you one either. He is not going to drop from heaven not unless it's the handyman.There are 1001 ways of meeting people; don't go looking.. just be naturally you and be at ease; be approachable... it doesn't hurt to smile and say hi to the guy at the grocery store who's asks for your opinion if the pineapple is ripe. Ask yourself how many times you have ignored guys passing by in the street or kunjad your face when a guy approaches you...more than likely you missed out on countless opportunities to start a conversation with a potential husband. He can be found anywhere! Lastly my girl, why do you want to get married or why do you want to get married now? Once you have listed your reasons- ask yourself; are these going to make you content with life? The older I grow the more I realize that my definition of marriage has changed. There is a bigger purpose in marriage than people think. Marriage is a ministry and once inside you have to grow it like a plant, palilia, water, fertilize it...or it will wither and die...most people relax after the wedding...on the contrary they should be working on it daily and moving from one level to the next.

[@mmabathokoloi2518]

Blessed & Highly Favored people get married coz they love each other. Going to the club doesn’t mean you are going to drink, some people are there to have fun without alcohol. A lot of people I know met at clubs and bars and they always say they have found their perfect match. I was lied to, now am afraid of guys, am afraid of the world. It was a lie

[@mionrugheart2340]

You are my twin...I tell my mom to let my younger sister go out and have fun

[@mionrugheart2340]

@@ladysafari01 Not going to the club doesn't guarantee a good partner either....and who said clubs are for monsters

[@FranMnguni]

My aunt got married at age 60 for the first time. She waited it out and found a good man for her so let's not put a time frame on anything in life. God is the only 1 who says Yes for our life not these men

[@Fatimasssstory]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/foa5oXeLZbR7hq8 watch viral video of Kenyan lady who confesses to deliberately infecting men with Hiv Aids

[@FranMnguni]

Fortunely for her she had 3 kids before marriage so when she married it was really about companionship rather than baby making etc. Thank you

[@tfhfoundation]

You're not your aunt, decide for your life sis

[@FranMnguni]

@@tfhfoundation lol I know this but you didn't get my point but we read what we want. Stay blessed

[@tfhfoundation]

@@FranMnguni you choose your pathway... God blesses it

[@michellehadebe8162]

I'm young, I'm a professional, I'm working full time, I feel like this man has described me exactly.

[@gingerb9997]

WE LACK REAL MEN FOR REAL WOMEN IN OUR WORLD TODAY.....THIS IS THE FACT

[@marinad7115]

😢

[@nompumelelothwala6573]

That's so true.

[@phionamugisha5852]

Very true

[@monicamwaush5119]

True

[@annie-mate1546]

Am 28 and tired of being single already those who are above this age single and happy some remedy please how do you do it me i feel like its a heavy burden already

[@w.w7039]

Brief answer : Because marriage (a man in this case) is not a reward for a woman's behavior. Let that sink. Meanwhile, I don't know how I got to this channel.

[@carolynemanduku4723]

Jay I get you, it's always about what the woman is doing and not doing n not vice versa. And we keep having non leading men in society, and so many marriges established on shaky grounds, and divorce rates high. We have a societal problem, SMH!

[@Sensirie]

This f***n rules, what an irksome way to put it smh.

[@kamzamosweu2269]

True, why is this always about women having to conform to societal standards noten? Women are tired too of men why settle for less and suffer when you have a choice of being single.

[@kenyafinest964]

Kamza Mosweu it’s exhausting listening to some so called relationship experts. Being single is not life threatening. Kwa ufupi a woman is to do all the work while trying to get noticed, while dating and I the marriage. Meanwhile the man who is telling him how to be?

[@achatwithgoitse]

Great answer. Thanks.

[@estherbeamsforaballad3342]

16:33 "don't let your compassion be manipulated". "You want someone who is at least where you are or ahead of you because you still want him to spoil you and cherish you"❕❕❕

[@dorisgakii6926]

You're parents can't guide you farther than they went. Sooo sooo true. Shocking, but true.

[@angelicsmile3020]

I was also shocked and when I thought about it, it was infact true !!! I don't know what supports this but it's surprising true

[@neemam5042]

So true

[@faithmutio2628]

Not true ....

[@Tunawesmake]

They might. A school drop out can ensure you take education seriously, pursue it, encourage you and pay your fee up to PhD. Some philosopher said something like "If I am in chains and you are in chains, and I have the keys to your lock, why must my lock be the same as yours?"

[@kaiserfitzwanga653]

True

[@mz.sunflowerladybug7921]

I say be yourself, and let the man/woman decide if they want you. There is no sense in being someone you're not. If you are not a "bad girl" then don't try to change into one. Be what you can keep up with.

[@naijarealty247tv5]

Exactly! No pretends or packaging.

[@sharleenwanjiru2984]

I agree

[@collinsotieno2552]

The point he's strongly communicating is that your open up for the world , find happiness and uphold it. Interact with people and the chemistry will naturally develop and you'll find your mate.

[@nelag81]

Tumesikia...😁

[@mwakaaliciachimbila1242]

Uve hit the nail on the head

[@collinsotieno2552]

@@nelag81 hahaa, volume iko sawa😂

[@collinsotieno2552]

@@mwakaaliciachimbila1242 mmh, seek happiness and find fulfillment in life & in what you do, then everything will settle in place. That's my philosophy 😉

[@Kidscoveke35]

Yeees

[@victoriae3253]

Once you Surpass your parents you have to get another source of advice

[@tifawt3736]

That was a weird statement difference

[@senges6751]

Like he said I was the one who became successful in my family. For ten years I had nothing to show from my hard work because I was financing everything and everyone at home. Last year I decided enough is enough and redirected my finances to myself and my son. Do not give up your dreams and aspirations for other people. You live once.

[@linerabera8727]

Absolutely....Don't get drained trying to please other people...

[@theaww-dacity7375]

Refocusing is so good

[@yvonneoniala2856]

This is a fact have just redirected myself recently I was almost going nuts

[@annamayyy9771]

Always ask yourself... Would they be willing to do the same for you? Pretend to have a problem and see if they will try and do something, if not you have you answer.

[@chiku4082]

Absolutely! I learnt that a while back. I too didn't have much to show but now I am changing that. Decided not to deny myself anything. I think it's a learning curve. Part of me believes that's why the Lord blessed us so much...coz we're the ones with the heart to help

[@priscillabaileymusic]

Funny how these guys never have tips for single men as if they don't struggle also.

[@aishaz6552]

The sad reality is that men and women do not have the same biological time line. They can still marry later without issue whereas women have a ticking biological clock.

[@samanthas969]

@@aishaz6552 Men also have a biological clock. Having children at 40-45 for a man means a higher risk of children with mental illnesses such as schizofrena and depression. This is due to mutations in the sperm in men giving them lower and lower qualtiy of sperm for each passing year.

[@sallymaemcdonald]

Right smh, always a out the woman

[@NerdilyDone]

Sometimes they can know one side's problem without knowing the other. Or that's their target demographic.

[@12nacia]

This!

[@benjaminzulu1723]

The level of wisdom and experience. My brother, you are a legend! I've been edified!

[@CynthiaMata.]

I tell you

[@leoneranger9348]

He's dropping some dimes here... 'your parents can't guide you any further than they have' DO YOUR OWN THING, LIVE YOUR LIFE ✨

[@milaniinalim3357]

Singleness is a gift, value it!

[@debiedebsielein3264]

@@kimzeevarieties There is no garantee your children will take care of you. And your husband can die anyday not to forget divorce/leave you. I understand your point. Marriage and children are very important especially for africans BUT there are no garantees in life! We shall never forget that. At the end the only beings one can truly relie on is oneself and god.

[@misss7758]

Its a fucked up gift.

[@melaniekeeling7462]

Mae West said "I'm single because I was born that way."

[@milaniinalim3357]

@@melaniekeeling7462 I love this!

[@hannanimmo4671]

"Donate your choir clothes",,this really caught me 😂😂😂

[@tinamakoni1105]

Me too hey😂😂🔥

[@jenniferkayima4150]

Me too 😂😂

[@deboraisuja5375]

On my way to donate

[@Betiebetty21]

😂😂😂😂

[@queenrahuz]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@conversationswithhart]

Great Discussion here - " If you want a man with car you will get him at the parking lot as you park your own car."

[@classyliz0608]

very true

[@marriannekigz]

This guy is always on point. However...at times I think it's all about fate. But what do I know?

[@neema1]

So sad love does not know material things. Perhaps the girl ment for you never went to school but you will miss her because you think women who have no material things are gold diggers

[@MercyMazmida]

Haha true

[@cateogwayo8138]

Hahaa in a packing I don't agree, you can get a taxi man or driver..

[@Nia.s.Care.]

I'm glad that I'm 20 and watching this. I'm learning. I pray that God helps me to apply this to my life amen

[@ayotadhiambo]

Balancing is key!Put yourself first as a woman.Otherwise life will pass you by!

[@annwanjiru6410]

😆😆😆

[@alexandermaundu328]

💪

[@cikumainone]

Kumbe we are MANY?! Don't give a man exclusivity before he earns it! ➕ tell them your price like muhindi. Zulu..you are the bomb!

[@zoesikhakhane6287]

'Your parents cannot advise you where they didn't pass.' Mm, powerful! 🔥 As girls we're always told to say no but never when to say yes..

[@carolinewanjiku1433]

Exactly

[@jlittlelearnersworld]

Am above 35 but trust me, I attract all types even being a mother of two. A queenly appearance is everything honey. Dress sexy but responsibly... Age is a number. Exercise, eat healthy focus on your career and a man will come.. Pray and believe. God bless you all.

[@lola2659]

There’s a big difference between 35 and 40. Most women don’t look the same at 40 as 35. Age is not just a number

[@Mysteriuminiquitatis1998]

@@lola2659 you can not look the same at 40 as you did at 35 but still look good. You don’t really have to be a bathing beauty honestly.

[@ashleyrhinehart3658]

“Your parents cannot guide you any further than they went!” 😬😬😬 Ouch!

[@aliceanyango770]

This preaching is directed to me like ambom,, though I'm a third born out of 8 siblings. I'm already 40yrs single just helping my family,, now I shuld stop this & focus ahead,, 1st thing; I will block them all hadi yule jamaa amekazana na mimi eti nimtumie doo cheii I'm tired but I can't kill myself,, thanks for inspiring me and be blessed

[@christineachieng5434]

Not 40 yet but almost we on the same boat cheii

[@aliceanyango770]

Me I was 40 last month on 6th June na ninasema Yesu ni Bwana@@christineachieng5434 thanks

[@christineachieng5434]

@@aliceanyango770 first of all happy birthday me too i turned 38 last month 19 June and have been single for 6years yawa tutaolewa kweli😜😜😜

[@jeffkim6648]

Wah aky pole

[@christineachieng5434]

@@jeffkim6648 😅😅😅😅

[@jopedyda9014]

Getting married tommorrow before 40 am 39 and a half...😂😂

[@juliasalim3822]

Hahaha

[@blandinamnyinga8318]

😂🤣😂🤣🤣💓💓💓💓

[@JayDwayneShow]

Wow!

[@melthrinas9060]

Don’t forget to invite us😂😂😂

[@Gakara2009]

Hurry hurry

[@budgetingrose5681]

Single firstborn here in my 30s. Now I understand why I have felt tired since my 20s because I helped take care of my sisters. 🤣😂

[@margaretirungu8747]

The 1st topic is so me😭😭am 28 and I've always focused on my parents and am the last born... I've worked for 4yrs and done nothing for myself.. But enough now.. Thanks Benjamin I really needed this

[@ndilacess3923]

It's not late

[@calebmutugi7191]

What has money got to do with finding a man for marriage?help your family,huyo msee amemess,pesa huisha,

[@chiku4082]

Exactly me. But nilichanuka

[@brownskin5373]

@@calebmutugi7191 unaongea koz haijakufika please elewa tu hivo.tumetosheka mbaka hapo tumewasaidia wajiskume na sio kwa ubaya naomba uelewe ama uulize maswali.swali nikujibu.Asante

[@calebmutugi7191]

@@brownskin5373 nashukuru kwa mujibu ulionipa,enyewe sijafika hapo pa kusaidia mpaka end point.Lakini kama uko na miradi ya kujiendeleza kibinafsi,basi inabidi uwe na self control usije ukajiumiza ama kunyonywa na kupe wenye jina la familia,iwapo wana mahitaji halisi,mimi nitajitolea hadi mwisho.infact am living for my family,all my efforts are for their benefit.

[@thabim.1377]

Dress up to look good and what makes you comfortable not so that you can attract men. Really quality men will notice a good thing when they see it. I have dressed myself in long dresses before to hide from men’s attention. Guess what? Nothing changed they still chased after me, then I knew that it’s not really what you wear but who you are. That’s my experience 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@RatoM.Official]

I totally agree with you. There are people who simply do not like to reveal too much and some even feel uncomfortable dressing in a revealing manner, so the idea of having to become uncomfortable & dress in a way that you don't necessarily like doesn't sit very well with me...

[@ItsToyoo]

🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@mawia9004]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/bKGcg4l-mdV4o6s

[@janetmirembe192]

True

[@atienomitchell]

I feel you that's true, very true clothing doesn't matter, don't dress to impress cause you're an empress yaaa dressing code doesn't matter

[@nomsebenzi1]

Zulu is always enlightening. Watching from🇿🇦

[@Capzzzz882]

So much to life than getting married you can travel and do the things that you love. Sis your life does not start and end with a MAN. If someone is single at 40 maybe that's their happiness people just love to associate their happiness with others. Being single doesn't mean you're miserable some single people be happier than married people or those in relationships.

[@DowntownMeganBrown]

Single with no kids turning 40 this year 🎉🎉🎉

[@Fidacats]

;)

[@animalworld3440]

Really??

[@kaeswiss250]

Yes! You are winning! Because you are free 🙌

[@sjt7028]

Same getting to 40 soon enough 🎉

[@nontsikelelonoruwanahealth8035]

Love it

[@fredslimited8657]

You are the most realest guy I have heard...I love your advice hahahaha

[@MP-ou2lu]

Benjamin is full of excitement and I love his energy. I would love to have met him. I love his teaching .

[@forfatah1540]

It’s coz people judge too much. You may think the “carefree” is a bad girl but she knows how to treat her man. Who wants a boring wife really? 🤣🤣🤣

[@isiomaezeife3407]

This man is just spitting wisdom 👏👏👏🔥🔥🔥

[@mawia9004]

🔥kzbin.info/www/bejne/bKGcg4l-mdV4o6s

[@womansphere4349]

Or common sense

[@mugulakikawa]

Start listening to Dr. Esther Perel. You'll be shocked about her analysis of marriage today. She'll blow you mind away.

[@HSule2792]

I absolutely love Esther Perel! I discovered her just 6 months ago and still can’t believe it took me so long!

[@_findingGod]

Oh! She is incredible!

[@mugulakikawa]

Hala Suleiman that’s the same way I felt. However, she helped realize all the problems I had in my marriage. 😃 I’m a lot happier now.

[@mugulakikawa]

Shì Ro I’ve learnt a lot from her. 🥰

[@namutebiruth8182]

K

[@NBnNC]

I am 35 years old single and have committed all 4 offenses 😣....my god this man is reading me like a book 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@petermacharia5661]

Go and redeem you self now

[@annetymukemba636]

Same here,at 38

[@Constance135]

God bless this man ,he opens my eyes to so many things I am 30 but so scared of marriage but I am ready to settle.

[@nyambura1253]

Am I the only lady who feels like this guy is talking to me?????

[@MyJoan88]

I feel like he's shouting at me... For something I did 😂😂

[@rungivero5037]

Makes the 3 of us

[@nyambura1253]

​@@MyJoan88 It feels like he has been following some of us around 😂😂😂😂

[@mutembeinyaga3794]

Me too

[@joymunyi7843]

@@MyJoan88 😂😂😂

[@rispernandesh5532]

This a real eye opener to me and 1M other firstborn gals/daughters! At least av come across this at my crossroad.... Thank you Zulu

[@ninsimasheilah7463]

Man....first born gals GOD bless us

[@mernagoodridge3399]

Taking our time on going into marriage is the best way in life and gods time is always the best time no matter what again god is always in control

[@michelledouglas4953]

As a second born it's more my life than the first born for my mother, she doesn't care one bit like that.

[@kikiluvszz]

Wish they were subtitles for when you all are speaking Swahili. Watching from US & I get lost when you start speaking Swahili but I LOVE the show !

[@hadizamshelia767]

This man is so intelligent. Im glad i came across this!

[@victoria-r.g682]

I'm 20, my mum sent me this. She is sending a my strong message cuz I wear my mama dress on campus

[@HowToLoseWeightDaily]

dress conservative [ ask ur dad he knows ] no tattoos no body mutilations'' otherwise u will attract fleas: players, badd boys..

[@ShiaGirl18]

Aye aye aye! I'm in my late 20s and the only social media I use is KZbin. I'm guilty of socially isolating myself, but I have prayed to God to help me with it. I'm working on myself now, but God is preparing my future husband.

[@t-renallux3125]

Hello. So where do you live?

[@ShiaGirl18]

@@t-renallux3125 I live in the Caribbean. How about you?

[@t-renallux3125]

@@ShiaGirl18 : Ok, I see. I'm from England, i'm not a female though, lool.

[@keziahndondela1764]

Am only 22 and I feel like you're talking to me. Am socially isolated and I don't like relationships 🤣🤣🤣

[@justathought7235]

Read on "attachment styles"... May help you understand yourself better...

[@janeyjaneykapenzi1163]

Am here with you babe😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@keziahndondela1764]

@@justathought7235 is it a book

[@justathought7235]

@@keziahndondela1764 no. Just a concept observed in people. Like personality etc.

[@justathought7235]

@@keziahndondela1764 kzbin.info/www/bejne/aKSccnZ6gsijoKM

[@sibusisostuartkhumalo3973]

Shout out from South Africa... your insights are universal. Raw, Real, Relevant with a touch of truthful humour. You are truly amazing sir

[@joycegithunguri8475]

Wow girl,u expressive and eloquent.👌

[@sarahag1915]

I love this discussion, its talking about me.am 1st born gal,working to help my siblings finish school.its unfortunate that we are total orphans&am now a father &mother.pray for me in particular

[@richauntie316]

May you reap what u sow and God bless u abundantly,I know how u feel because am also a first born and doing the part that my parents would have done

[@sarahag1915]

Amen, be blessed to!

[@crissoa]

🙏🏿 🙏🏿 please have some time for yourself. You will miss out on relationships. Wish you the best.

[@thelmaigbo8184]

God will uplift you in Jesus name, amen.

[@florachacha7389]

God will remember your hard work and bless you:)

[@BlessedVivi]

01:46-3:28 This is deeeep!!!! This is my story. Not the taking care of family part, but the not balancing part of dating and being loyal to family. This man has gems.. Sin #4 is also another truth! In this day and age, it is also necessary to use social media as a tool for dating.

[@graceooko3778]

Zulu always on point... Mwikali nakupenda sana,sikujui but I can tell u have a good heart

[@ajalahupfront]

Recently my husband told me that one of the reasons why he picked me and chased me till he married me is because I am a first daughter and he saw how much I looked after my younger ones.

[@lindamumo2133]

when you said especially 23yrs old😂😂😂...am donating my clothes kesho

[@watirinjenga]

Linda 😂😂😂😂I felt attacked

[@justmyworld2542]

@@watirinjenga 😂😂😂

[@relebohileferete5791]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I'm 23 too and guilty of the triangle🔺 church, home, work (school when I was still a student)...💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃 Jesus Christ

[@Terryn_Wangui]

I feel attacked too😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@robertsmayeku198]

Your parents will never guide you beyond where they're.

[@Tunawesmake]

They might. A school drop out can ensure you take education seriously, pursue it, encourage you and pay your fee up to PhD. Some philosopher said something like "If I am in chains and you are in chains, and I have the keys to your lock, why must my lock be the same as yours?"

[@hersafari]

sad truth😧

[@norahbenson1407]

Or anyone for that matter

[@naomikinyanjui2728]

Veeeeery deep and true

[@JesseKorkpanJr2]

That’s not always true. And there is wisdom in what he is saying, but there are also folly that no sound person can agree with.

[@nzalinyangu3788]

He is entertaining. However, this sounds so desperate. All those implementing this, do so with caution. Have standards, not all males are men and husband material. You will end up in a lonely and unhappy marriage.

[@Blessed591]

True . . . sounds desperate . . . be yourself . . . the right person will accept you exaxctly the way you are . . .

[@Kidscoveke35]

Thank you

[@Ukversuskenya]

Mmm true. #wisdom

[@bettykhuboni8758]

U have nailed it my dear.....indeed not all men are not husband material....nail on the head

[@naijarealty247tv5]

Is better to be happy and single than married and be unhappy

[@wamaithamutua648]

I agree.Am a first born and I carried all the responsibilities...but am lucky as you said I got someone to mentor me at 22 and at 25 I had settled

[@mariaagabag3569]

Absolutely insightful and edifying especially for us firstborns.

[@benedicttakalesh6938]

True dear.

[@mimigaya5051]

Me too 😩

[@mwakaaliciachimbila1242]

I agree with you

[@kaydinash]

True talk. He is talking about me. Mmh

[@juliet.nebblet-cox]

Very true

[@sophia4christ]

"Don't get so used to loneliness that you forget love is possible".

[@MarriageAcrossCulture]

Your parents can not advice you any further than they’ve gone! This I love!

[@nuruljesima7555]

Wow, this man is so lively! Love this segment! Thank you!

[@prettynyakano6638]

Don’t get used to loneliness forgetting love is still an option

[@jank9768]

Take this home: Stop dressing like your mothers.

[@cikuciku2355]

Jan K Muslims get married every month,wengine are even booked for marriage when still in school I know of few I studied with in high school but you know how they dress, even where I am every week there is marriage taking place,,akorino also they get married.Please honor your body by covering it.

[@Blessed591]

My dress my choice . . . my hair my choice . . . lol !

[@victoria-r.g682]

This was meant for me 😂😂😂😂😂

[@Ascension1004]

🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣

[@tiyanablake2534]

This is so informative. I love it. I'm in my late 20s and this is an eye opener. Now I know that I need to turn on my charm.

[@Mindful_Mm]

Yeah...

[@jlydia3782]

Am here too

[@carowanjiku3126]

Life is full of Challanges , @ 36 years i was a single mother of 2 and a grandmother of 1 It was tough but that didn't stop me achieving my goals or my children graduating.It's determination, hard work, (mpaka kufua maguo) and accepting what we can not change that maters. God is Faithful even when we are Unfaithful

[@perismundati5663]

Reading comments here makes me feel nice knowing we are many that this man is talking about......I love this guy,talking the reality.

[@justathought7235]

It's a brewing crisis...

[@cloudclaud6484]

Waaaa naked truth

[@relebohileferete5791]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@abbyquinemuzue1713]

Who is also here taking notes?

[@relebohileferete5791]

Some commentators here are missing the point. They sound bitter and defensive as though the speaker is talking to them alone directly. See, please pray and ask Holy Spirit to be with you as you listen to this, and anything controversial. You need God to help you understand what this is. Please calm down and take whatever is enough for, and leave the rest for others. God bless you

[@nomuhlemabaisa233]

My thoughts exactly, he did mention that it’s for those that are struggling to get married

[@leonaking287]

Love this super mature comment!

[@mahlohonolodikalahi9397]

Well said

[@zianeshkasparen4358]

Because maybe they are but not in the way you think.

[@Kalizzy21]

It's commentors though.