Very often people who grow up in toxic homes will end up with a toxic partner. I remembet when I met my narc, he felt familiar because he treated me exactly as bad as my family did. After 2 years, I stayed with him for another 4 months just to understand why I, as a grown independent woman, would allow this clown in my space! I got to learn about trauma bonding, lack of boundaries and people pleasing as my main weakness. When I broke up with him, I thanked him for teaching about myself. The look on his face was priceless because he had no more power to hurt me.. I've had to go for therapy to learn to have healthy relationships. Setting boundaries; letting people know what is acceptable or unacceptable. My personality went from Joyce to Zulu. I have no tolerance for meanness anymore. So what if you were abandoned by your father? Are you the first to have this problem? What have you done for yourself inorder to heal? Long story short, I stopped being a rehabilitation center for broken people.
@tshegofatsomokonoto49284 жыл бұрын
😢😢😢thats exactly what happened it was trauma bonding and i hv set boundaries and am really thankful 4 my narc i have learnt alot about myself...
@divinelychosen55544 жыл бұрын
I love your words..."l stopped being a rehabilitation centre for broken people" 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@linetwambui82963 жыл бұрын
@@divinelychosen5554 God me too girl
@leroyjuma49983 жыл бұрын
Ehhhhh that's me, I never knew am toxic or a narcissist till today. I blame game a lot, I belittle, I complain, I argue, insecurities is like a gift, in fact when he says some people are so insecure they ask for pictures to prove you are where you claim to be, I totally get it because I am that. I always see the fault was my ex and not mine, is true am completely blind to my mistakes and weakness but will highlight my partners mistakes and weaknesses, and the level of selfishness in me is so great it's all about me, me, me me. am a narcissist, think the challenge now is working on it. WHAT A LIFE TRANSFORMING SHOW.
@ekakhumalointombi52864 жыл бұрын
"Get OUT quickly and save time"...😂😂😂 That sounds like problem resolving...
@alicesjoy96573 жыл бұрын
When people show you who they’re,believed them.Don’t waste your time in trying to change people who have condition their mind not to.I have been there and all these points confirmed all that I experienced with the toxic guy.No communication,no respect,no appreciation,no love.Which reduces my self esteem.but I’m happy I finally walk away.🙏🏻🙏🏻
@twiklinc90622 жыл бұрын
Wonder what he experienced
@kirui54 жыл бұрын
Watching from Toronto. Dr. Zulu is just awesome! I love his sense of humour too. Joyce don't ever stop having him on your show. I am learning a lot.
@sanyuable4 жыл бұрын
Thank u. My children too were very happy when I divorced with their father. its one of the best decision I have ever made.
@rizt23644 жыл бұрын
If you find yourself always apologizing all the time, chances are you are dating a narcissist.
@christinemurundu67514 жыл бұрын
This was me sometimes back good thing I moved out
@annewanjiru28394 жыл бұрын
True
@tafawabalewa52624 жыл бұрын
So true
@elvisbarasa4034 жыл бұрын
Currently dating a lady who is always fault finding and accusing me of past mistakes. I keep apologizing but blames seem to keep coming. Old faults Revived everytime
@masebabatsoinnocentia1764 жыл бұрын
True
@adelkaz33974 жыл бұрын
Hi watching from Namibia,thanks for having people like DR.Zulu in Africa.🎓🎓🎓🎓🎓
@tessmuiruri74184 жыл бұрын
I love this psychologist. He has a sense of humor and great mastery of content.
@music4thesoul4914 жыл бұрын
True he is quite a scholar
@lissajeruu83013 жыл бұрын
Sure
@faithchega21113 жыл бұрын
@@music4thesoul491 mm
@oundoerick91793 жыл бұрын
Very true, he teaches the exact things we experience in relationships.
@vimbaisowa12753 жыл бұрын
I'm watching from Zimbabwe 🇿🇼🇿🇼 . I love your show, Dr Zulu thank you for educating us on this subject which is never taught in school. From your serial discussions if I could write an exam of courtship and marriage I will be an A+ student 😀😀😀
@elsieatieno44214 жыл бұрын
That joke on African ladies and their emotions is just the one. LOL
@christinekathure28903 жыл бұрын
Proud people are self absorbed. They never go out of their way to accommodate you. It's them them them them.. Owada awuoro
@lordbyron42423 жыл бұрын
One thing I will tell you After living in Europe and US and dating European Asian and Latina women there is nothing like an African woman I took African Women for granted because I was living abroad but decided whaaaa Mimi nataka a Kenyan woman or African and yes I’m getting engaged to a Kenyan woman . Our women are very special .
@amoitlaureen38784 жыл бұрын
Ego is the anaesthesia that eases the pain of stupidity
@officialmugacey7934 жыл бұрын
Very true
@sharonjumba46484 жыл бұрын
Very true.
@masebabatsoinnocentia1764 жыл бұрын
"Narcissist needs puppets no people "
@tashalindqvist74553 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 so true. 👍
@Letusprayforourcountry4 жыл бұрын
" YOU ARE NOT THE GENERAL MANAGER OF THE UNIVERSE" Thank you for this statement, it is liberating
@michaelkimaru23774 жыл бұрын
True true
@wanjirukarago93084 жыл бұрын
True the behave like angels don't accept their mistakes they use your words against you to make you look bad 💯💯💯.. describes an ex 👌
@abbyquinemuzue17134 жыл бұрын
The same relationship I have been going through,thank God I made up my mind
@yvonnemakori98694 жыл бұрын
I was in a very toxic relationship...I must admit the hardest thing is moving out...But I finally had the freedom to be me
@megkarugi96654 жыл бұрын
What did u do? To get out of it? Coz am in one
@daisyrenewed70814 жыл бұрын
Me too I really need to know how kindly share if you don't mind
@shiko11394 жыл бұрын
I was in one too ...yes its hard to leave,narcissist always wants to control you and blame everything on you, always want to be praised..and this will always put you down,draining yourself esteem.. I was ina distance relationship, and everytime am going out he would ask for photos and stay online throughout .this only made me feel so down always..but ilifika a point I put my heart aside and started thinking with my brains then I made a decision. And started talking to people.. watch out
@lucythuo82874 жыл бұрын
This has been my life for 17yrs every time l try to live he change like for a long time and l think all good then boom everything come back.. Am physically, emotionally, mentally drained..
@lisahluizalisah87933 жыл бұрын
I’m also undergoing through this at the moment have tried to leave several times,he gets back apologizes i then feel pity for him and forgive him give another chance.But no changes at all,Plz help on how to walk away I feel tired
@bw44234 жыл бұрын
Discussion on point,,, that was exactly what I was going through,,
@mercymunonyara33714 жыл бұрын
I am really in a toxic relationship. I have to run for my life
@tashalindqvist74553 жыл бұрын
Ur life.😱...o.m.g run since ur aware....donot waste a second if it's dangerous.
@rizikimichieka76643 жыл бұрын
Don't waste even a second. Toxicity will emotionally drain you.
@suezanna26903 жыл бұрын
Runn before you almost got stabbed by a knife like me
@carolm46914 жыл бұрын
One day discuss pride and overblown ego not only in men or among daters but also among ladies... Ladies need to k ow they have some bad ego that suffocates relationships even among themselves.
@phumlamashegoana7964 жыл бұрын
Crucial topics to discuss. I wish translation scripts were available when you switch to your native language.
@joanherbstan82803 жыл бұрын
Great learning, would appreciate if we can have subtittles in English when you are stressing points in your own language for international viewers. It's so good that sometimes I feel I'm missing out on important content. You are doing a good job keep it up
@chasingclouds71013 жыл бұрын
Narcissists are drawn to empaths because they feed off their positive energy. Like vampires.
@tomatopaste19364 жыл бұрын
Am a narcissist 😞😞 All what he said is true But am on therapy ☹️ Stay away of narcissist am struggling very hard to change
@salmamohamed9094 жыл бұрын
Me too but I wish to change I promise change every now and then but 😭😭😭I was given last chance last night 😥
@christinaradebe44873 жыл бұрын
Realising that you have a problem is the first step to becoming a better person. I hope you guys find the help you need ❤️❤️
@ritagicheru51863 жыл бұрын
Acceptance is the first step
@shaznewa7523 жыл бұрын
You admit it that's good. All the best keep working. I am a daughter of a narcissistic mom and she says that its who she is we must learn to live with it. I promise u she will end up alone because me and my siblings realised who she is and dare we start working... I'm a university student
@mercymwende85914 жыл бұрын
if only I knew this years ago I could have saved my youthful years
@annekaloki68993 жыл бұрын
Start where u are dear it's never too late u can't live by ua past just forcus ad know other things where just made to happen to sharpen your maturity.
@kikiannette-3 жыл бұрын
This man is so intelligent Benjamin zulu!!!!!! Wow💞💞❤💕
@christabelwanaswa59973 жыл бұрын
Had I known this 8years ago,I am sure I wouldn't be on medication...but such is life
@lizkeletu30403 жыл бұрын
I love this show its true we have angelic demons all over who leave innocent souls wrecked and have no remorse for their behaviours
@dorothymahally95514 жыл бұрын
I think I was about to get into one..I'm glad I listened to this
@sweetsugar10144 жыл бұрын
My mother is narcissistic and she is hard as hell to live with. Like Mr. Zulu says she blames me and her other children for everything and she doesn't listen and she knows it all. She's very hard to communicate with.
@Lee_Stanley3 жыл бұрын
You inspired me to leave a comment here. Thaz exactly my mother!!! I bet she's 100 times more narcissistic than your mother😥 I thank God today u got the right term I can understand her with. I'm always the most available brat to be put blames on 😭😭even when am far in the city,the blames will just be waiting for me🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙆🏼♀️😭😭😭
@sweetsugar10143 жыл бұрын
@@Lee_Stanley Oh wow, bless your heart. That's so sad you have to go through that. I hope things get better for you; my heart goes out to you luv. A friend girl of mine has a mom just like ours and due to COVID we both lost our jobs and were FORCED to live with her. It's been an uphill battle for the both of us. But, one day she tearfully asked the question: "Tell me, WHY do we have to go through this abuse? What did we do to deserve this?? I told her, "Absolutely Nothing. This is NOT our problem this is HER problem and we are only going through it because we have to live with her but once we both get on our feet again and get our own place we no longer will have to dance to our abuser's music. We will gain back our control and have peace.
@hlengiwemasondo28583 жыл бұрын
I cut mine out of my life and moved to another city. I have peace now
@praiseduke48643 жыл бұрын
@@hlengiwemasondo2858 I did same for myself. I have been trying to heal ever since.
@hlengiwemasondo28583 жыл бұрын
@@praiseduke4864 me too, the smear campaign started half of my family from her side don't want me anymore
@davidnyaga45583 жыл бұрын
Aki this is lady is cute.. She's the reason why I watch this whole thing
@simonevicarimoore3 жыл бұрын
Joyce, this is your best hairstyle! Love this look on you!
@bancypius69193 жыл бұрын
It's good to walk away from such relationships before it becomes worse👌👌👌
@sohniya76813 жыл бұрын
Is it possible to add subtitles when he is speaking the native language? Love from Nigeria❤️
@thebaddie3913 жыл бұрын
Seconded. Love from South Africa.
@jamohking87692 жыл бұрын
I can help in translation. Where did you get lost?
@wamsufitness32174 жыл бұрын
I'm in love with your show 😍...Zulu good job
@bestbrie60384 жыл бұрын
Where does this guy getting all these words and the vocabulary? Just love his job. Kudos Zulu.
@estheroladunjoye51384 жыл бұрын
I like your program a lot, it’s quite educational and informative,but you guys inject your language, that’s fine am a proud African too but If you do, please, do translate to English, am from London and I do sometimes get lost in your conversations. Do keep up the great work 👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿💕
@veronicanyangweso9364 жыл бұрын
waah you have made my day that even if you are in the market you take the picture of that market and you send to him
@BlackPanther-lt7wr3 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@Acy__4 жыл бұрын
You don't know how much i needed this..thank you 😔
@twiklinc90622 жыл бұрын
Everyone's falls one side
@vanessatuitoek72984 жыл бұрын
Loving this talk.....part 2 pls
@alvinvv40633 жыл бұрын
Can't stop watching his videos,,@real content💯
@juliamapapu57254 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Mr Zulu for being on this show..you are being helpful to me I've been hurt so many times even now I dont like man but listening to you I'm beginning to heal..watching from South Africa may God bless you
@taliblouisiana48744 жыл бұрын
Am now afraid of being in a relationship
@tashalindqvist74553 жыл бұрын
Ur free to leave....but donot limit ur opportunity without exprience pliz!😅
@sylviemorgan97703 жыл бұрын
Don't be,thank GOD for shows like these that opens our eyes,and teaches us things regarding relationships,,just take notes,you'll be ok...
@emmakaruri92673 жыл бұрын
In the same shoes.
@jackeebonner13 жыл бұрын
I actually caught this channel by surprise and so glad I did. Much needed! 💞 He talked too fast 🥺... it's hard to understand everything he's saying. 🤔 🥴💝 Unfortunately, I'm African American born and raised. So, forgive me... it's just hard to comprehend everything. However, I love the teaching! Thank you so much! 🙏🏾 💕
@ayotadhiambo3 жыл бұрын
Keep it private until it is permanent.
@christinekaranibay84923 жыл бұрын
Very very true Benjamin I am in such relationship thank you for your advice
@kaonemere12193 жыл бұрын
i still come back to listen to your good teachings motives,thank you so mch
@majorienannungi67034 жыл бұрын
Watching this video but it really giving wisdom!!, surely am now defining my boundaries. Thanks Zulu & Joyce. From Uganda
@annewanjiru28394 жыл бұрын
I love the show it's an eye opening and educative..
@patsyaspinall-urrows38364 жыл бұрын
I just love this man and his way of getting his message across and he is so right 💜
@andisa95994 жыл бұрын
What differentiates control fro just having standards. I ask this cause when a woman tells you she doesn’t need a partner who does this and that, for example when she doesn’t want a guy that smokes and drinks, they call that standards and she a man says he doesn’t want the same thing most of the times he’ll be called controlling and her friends will even tell her that her man is controlling
@tuelogabosekwe30964 жыл бұрын
i love the show so much,i wish it could be all English. From Botswana
@oliviakidiya75812 жыл бұрын
You woke me up. Live long.
@lubowaisaac9733 жыл бұрын
Loving the show. Watching from uganda
@eunicemwangi37634 жыл бұрын
Always enjoying the session, thanks for such a platform
@caramel92443 жыл бұрын
Thank u Benjamin! 👍🏾 Great content 👏🏾
@tannahmutune82454 жыл бұрын
Great sense of humour Mr Zulu....so educative..l've learnt a lot...
@ted99214 жыл бұрын
Hey Zulu, could you discuss on the behaviours of partners who loss parents at a younger age and use this as an escape part of why they are narcissistic....... Please do a show on this..... 👏👏Thanks in advance 😊
@sharonchikosha22374 жыл бұрын
Ted repeat that
@estherirungu58964 жыл бұрын
Very informed psychologist
@kayisemnguni53984 жыл бұрын
I love this show even though I don't understand your language...
@emelyngomane25424 жыл бұрын
I also luv the show bt their language is hard to understand
@janewanjiruwanjiru84024 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂I feel you
@mpumizulu92354 жыл бұрын
Me 3 hahahahahaha 😂
@BlackPanther-lt7wr3 жыл бұрын
@@janewanjiruwanjiru8402 wewe Wajiroo stop lying
@dolphineakoth4 жыл бұрын
I wish I found this video early, I couldnt have stayed with him longer. Am glad I left!
@mercymunonyara33714 жыл бұрын
Me too
@lucythuo82874 жыл бұрын
Me too
@divinelychosen55544 жыл бұрын
Thank God you had the courage to leave. Alot dont. The become mentally and emotionally paralysed or physically dead.
@dolphineakoth4 жыл бұрын
@@divinelychosen5554 It was the only way for me to save my self❤️. Selfcare over everything sis
@hnavid8153 жыл бұрын
Me too, I thank God, for giving me the courage park up and moving far away from that man..
@tarrinaweaver81293 жыл бұрын
First time listener. Love it. Thanks
@charityshabangu48564 жыл бұрын
The show is educational but language barrier, can you please try to speak English throughout the show.
@wanjikumugaciku61724 жыл бұрын
This is Kenya where are you?
@charityshabangu48564 жыл бұрын
@@wanjikumugaciku6172 South Africa
@khangelwakhathi5084 жыл бұрын
I'm happy with them speaking their language i just need subtitles so that i can also learn their language
@lillymaxsaili23844 жыл бұрын
@@khangelwakhathi508 I totally agree with you.
@laoluadegbesan97944 жыл бұрын
You got my concerns head on.... this program is without borders.
@pendoj56224 жыл бұрын
Am not the general manager of the universe.. I love this
@winniemwilaria15864 жыл бұрын
Dated 4yrs married 6yrs...all in vain... Left 5months ago..am very anxious..I need help
@sharonjumba46484 жыл бұрын
So sorry Winnie, understanding that you need help is the starting point to healing.
@tashalindqvist74553 жыл бұрын
Hallo Winnie!🙂 trust me if u cldn't bear anymore and left.....it means u did ur best and shldn't regret.....it is had to advise u without u mentioning exactly what problems u faced.....identify the badhabits u cldn't stand or was "he" narcissist and ur feeling lost after all u went through???!!☹ Tell us so we can help u and i really hope Benjamin can advice you. Anxiety is a serious symptom and shld be taken seriously. Have u seeked couselling?
@lillychannel71823 жыл бұрын
Pole mummy you will heal trust me
@givethanks21924 жыл бұрын
You just described my ex. wah!
@peggyhlungwani34973 жыл бұрын
Thanks very Much Benjamin I have learnt a lot
@hildawasike79263 жыл бұрын
I love the show.... I have learnt alot. 💯
@janenjambi13544 жыл бұрын
Joyce I just love ur outfit
@mumchebet50584 жыл бұрын
Love your show, it is very educative
@risingeagles71634 жыл бұрын
Jeniffer watching from southern Africa, I like Zulu dud u get ur name from this side what about a man who feel he is very clever than everyone, he can't even let other men talk leave alone women.
@sylviemorgan97703 жыл бұрын
That's a big problem there,he has a huge ego,too proud!!!
@piuskimani57614 жыл бұрын
From the description I think am narcissistic what should i do? Do we have room in this world? Does it have treatment?
@tashalindqvist74553 жыл бұрын
Iam glad to hear u say smthg like this.....even if i donot thk so coz Narcissistics will never admitt that they r the problem. They always blame their partners....otherwise apologies is a gd start and wanting the best together. Teamwork!
@closefacts65273 жыл бұрын
Look for a therapist ....
@kairitukangai50863 жыл бұрын
Very true man you nailed it
@janewanjiruwanjiru84024 жыл бұрын
Am learning alot.n kicking my brains aki😢😢😂😂
@eglerodero94374 жыл бұрын
Described my ex kabisa! So demeaning!
@megkarugi96654 жыл бұрын
Me too
@eglerodero94374 жыл бұрын
@@megkarugi9665 were we dating the same guy?lmao🤣🤣🤣🤣
@demiancoalshinsky72433 жыл бұрын
Yeah,you will never change/cover his insecurities with love...
@docusizankuriza45144 жыл бұрын
Much love from Uganda ❤️
@maggiedoublenofficial9813 жыл бұрын
I'm not a maker of the universe...hey...my health comes first...narssist shld be left alone to deal with their toxicity..thy are so draining....
@fredgomes86393 жыл бұрын
You speaking the truth we break with my ex but online ana post "I can live without you too much drama.
@selinaleentjie54414 жыл бұрын
We need you in Namibia...
@ruthnuru67204 жыл бұрын
Hi, I was in a toxic relationship and i walked out After 3years and hafe
@mirriamdanaitatsere15424 жыл бұрын
I think if you see the signs of toxic relationship it's better to quit because some they do not change
@naomimartins6384 жыл бұрын
Guilty as charged 😢 This me aki🙀 Though hua sishughuliki sana na his private afairs
@divinegirl56704 жыл бұрын
Maybe he killed your inside already
@shiko11394 жыл бұрын
Be careful girl.
@suezanna26903 жыл бұрын
I dated a toxic and dumped him within less than 6 months stress and frustration weugh !!! He could call randomly any missed call is followed by messages , video call , he could complain about me eating supper late wake me up with a video call at 4am that he wants to see if I'm alone on bed 😂 ...the day itold him we end the relationship he almost stabbed me with aknife , irane call the police when he heard that the police were coming he escaped ,and started sending me threatening messages , I shifted to another estate very far from where i was living he came later looking for me after 1 month when he found out ishifted he was angry and sending threatening messages to me .....guys ran away from narcissist
@twiklinc90622 жыл бұрын
Ndrama vindeo
@wanjikukihara4240 Жыл бұрын
Soul enriching ♥️
@remnant.watchman3 жыл бұрын
If you're trying to live by the Bible, know that God only permits divorce on account of adultery.
@ashleyzarter91053 жыл бұрын
Love this content from Harare Zimbabwe
@jacklinemwatti46253 жыл бұрын
I like Zulu's teaching I left a man that treated me badly....and why are her legs distracting me though 😂
@mercyadhiambo69134 жыл бұрын
Very very informative
@sycostiirene74393 жыл бұрын
honestly i fell in love with a man who had nothing for six years... i took him as a blood brother with pure love... the intention was marriage but siku aliomoka hee Mungu ni nani,,, i came to realized that it was his poverty background and environment that helped him to conceal his true characters waaa he was planning a wedding with another lady behind my back yet i used to be his prayer warrior, financier and emotional support waa it was no thank you,, no respect mmm i learnt a lot though i cant say i was an Angel
@zainabaminah41763 жыл бұрын
Kumbe huku nje watu wamepitia
@a.muchemi43603 жыл бұрын
Go will repay you ..
@selinaanjie10382 жыл бұрын
Help me with you number plz I need to talk to you aki you help me Niko na shida
@elizabethmodani14144 жыл бұрын
What about women are insecure or women can not be toxic
@robertndighila90963 жыл бұрын
Women can be really narcissist, talking from experience, I'm glad she left
@tecklersmith23044 жыл бұрын
True true I've been through stomached shit 8yrs
@eunicefordjour60294 жыл бұрын
I really love dis program but can u pls speak English through out because my question was asked by someone n I didn't hear anything because all was explained in your language
@tannahmutune82454 жыл бұрын
Yes..
@kerryssienzawadi10904 жыл бұрын
I wish I had known this the first time I met them everything was true that they were toxic oh my God 3yrs and 4months of errors waah thank Jesus I left
@kerryssienzawadi10904 жыл бұрын
@Ainembabazi Brenda We are all blinded by toxic people in the name of love whereas we are only targeted prey
@joygicharu65303 жыл бұрын
My ex_husband was toxic, thanks Zulu after listening to him I realized I am in toxic married I run away.
@nimoras4 жыл бұрын
I need help in knowing myself
@ashleyzarter91053 жыл бұрын
I was happy when my dad divorced my mom tbh
@sharonchikosha22374 жыл бұрын
Im dating a narcissist today im going through hard times ,tonight im letting him go
@Rose-fv2gz3 жыл бұрын
All the best dear
@sharonchikosha22373 жыл бұрын
@@Rose-fv2gz imagine he is keeping coming back to beg me to stay 😢
@soniawathoni85493 жыл бұрын
@@sharonchikosha2237 care about u. Me i walked away with my 3yr old son. I even left the town. Its been 16 months now pursuing divorce with a tough lawyer, i do not even want to see his face....dont destroy your future stuck in such helll. You are lucky u just dating him. Am divorcing him and am 41 with a kid. It was hell, had to make sure i avoid getting pregnant again. Life is sweeter when you are free.
@vivianringera19513 жыл бұрын
Think with your head and your heart will thank you later