Systema 2000 Game Showcase | Ashens

[@sonofagroove]

Ashens: "Special sound effect..." Everyone who's watched Ashens since pre-2012: "Just the one!"

[@samholdsworth420]

You're just a noob 😭

[@a_googIeuser]

@@samholdsworth420 This comment is 8 years old. Care to explain why he's a noob? Edit: Just wanted to say the number in your KZbin handle is so funny. 😐

[@JDM-HD]

Ashens totally makes these reviews so funny and worth while to watch! I just love to hear his reactions to things!! "Commander for you! Have yourself a commander!"

[@benanderson89]

The weird flailing "music" sounds like they either didn't program in a note timer, or it just rapid fires through the sound data whenever it can instead of calling an interrupt. Given the low quality software, probably both!

[@brandonmartin-moore5302]

That probably explains it, I was trying to place what the problem is but that makes sense.

[@legorulez49]

I wonder if people are ever going to get around to making a Systema emulator.

[@CommodoreFan64]

+legorulez49 Would not surprise me if they did, as there is a 1/2 way working Game.com emulator that I don't think has been worked on for some time now.

[@thomasjenkins7506]

+legorulez49 as if anyone has a computer powerful enough to run one.

[@legorulez49]

+Thomas Jenkins I've seen people rip sprites from freaking Mega Duck games.

[@Schule04]

+legorulez49 Somebody actually made one: web.archive.org/web/20091027092121/geocities.com/Athens/Aegean/5127/

[@legorulez49]

Schule04 Pretty cool, wish we could still download it though.

[@gawni1612]

Nothing makes me more giddy than Stuart reading really poorly translated text.

[@scoundrelneo913]

Wow, Ashens, great moves, keep it up, proud of you.

[@LorcanJD]

*insert theme tune*

[@NecroBanana]

Wrong channel, boi. Still, you smot. You loyel.

[@LorcanJD]

You grapefruit I oprecisate dat go buy yo momma a house *20k*

[@LorcanJD]

WEV ALREDY LOST YO MUDDER

[@LorcanJD]

Pfhhh is that even a question, of course we do...

[@Overhazard]

Well, sometimes, in the media you see someone turning on a game system or a computer and start playing a game immediately. The first moments of Kung Fu replicate those! This is also the first time I've ever seen pinball flippers called "rotators." Even when Gottlieb tried to trademark the word "flippers," no one called them "rotators." I like how the ball will also sometimes randomly change direction mid-flight and try to go down the middle.

[@Moxx3]

Well that was odd... my computer actually went BSOD while watching this video. I sat there for about 10 seconds actually thinking it was part of the video... before I realized it wasn't, and my computer actually had a fit. What a day.

[@Consural]

6:15 Beethoven just transformed into a Beyblade from turning in his grave. My ears hurt.

[@WolfestoneManor]

I love it when you do those unique intros and music sweepers. You find the best music to use.

[@greentg10]

This is my favorite out-of-focus ASMR channel

[@adamweishaupt2846]

Ah, that well known Tennis score of 30-60 (3:31)

[@Zellio2011]

That pinball game makes Virtual Boy Pinball look like a masterpiece

[@godslaughter]

Me laughing for 30 seconds at that backwards-music really sums up my sense of humour

[@ObeyYourMaster123]

My God, when he sang that transition... I almost fucking died xD

[@GameLogic0007]

I was really hoping for Ashens to say "just the one" after special sound effect. He hasn't said that in ages

[@medcat_]

this... this stopped me from finishing college work by entertaining me for a few minutes... thankyou but now I've forgotten what I was supposed to do xD

[@LorcanJD]

At least it isn't a pop station...

[@AgentTasmania]

+Xx-69MrDumb FTW-fangril69-xX Somehow has English on that standard despite originating in Germany, where they speak better English than in England.

[@thousandcanine]

+Xx-69MrDumb FTW-fangril69-xX whas* typo

[@Palo_din]

+Xx-69MrDumb FTW-fangril69-xX It's not a huge step up, to be honest

[@LorcanJD]

Palodin​ It runs smoother but that's where the good ends really.

[@Zellio2011]

+Xx-69MrDumb FTW-fangril69-xX No, this has worse music

[@cyshtoph]

60 comments in 5 minutes on video that is 12 minutes long. This is probably the rare case when literally no one knows what they are talking about.

[@sleepy_jean]

Yeah... So how about the upload time, folks.

[@cyshtoph]

What about it?

[@sleepy_jean]

+cyshtoph It's pretty... Um... late.

[@விஷ்ணு_கார்த்திக்]

Well to be fair they could just be talking about the 5 minutes of content.

[@bumblebee7838]

+cyshtoph 60 comments in 10 hours on a proposal of 1 minutes in the house of commons... Not sure if this verifies or falsifies your comment.

[@FrontierJazz]

I think "Commander for you" was supposed to be like something the other characters say about the Commander at the end of a 70's action sci-fi TV show. Like "That's commander for you!", and then everyone puts on their dumbest grin and laughs as the scene freezeframes into the credits.

[@michaelturner4457]

"Special sound effect!" .... just the one.

[@CTC2002]

HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY ASHENS KZbin CHANNEL!!!

[@JohnSTF72]

I find the game line up for Systema 2000 quite lacking without its own version of Chanticlear Hegemony.

[@AdiSneakerFreak]

Hahaha certainly worth staying until the end. Protention!

[@MinusPi-p9c]

I wonder what takes longer: Doing the reviews, or finding the bad robot voices for the ending?

[@Zerodegrees95]

[phone]a simulationcorner.net/index.php?page=sam pretty close emulation of the robot voice.

[@CarozQH]

Running around at the speed of 360km/h Got 5 different countries to go Gotta follow my Systema...

[@blacktubbootlegs5037]

6:25 Wouldn't want to bootleg Beethoven correctly, he might come back from the dead to kill all of the public domain.

[@tymime]

The music sounds like 10-year-old me making random noises on a toy keyboard.

[@misjavanlaatum]

I absolutely adore the sticker art on the cartridges!

[@doctorcraptonicus7941]

+miezpiez -They would make great T shirts.

[@misjavanlaatum]

+Doctor Craptonicus yeah!

[@JoeTheSmiter]

Sorry Ashens, but that's Fur Elise, not Moonlight Sonata.

[@blitzstrahl]

+JoeTheSmiter Fun fact: Fur Elise is married to Enermy Dic.

[@rinhato8453]

+blitzstrahl glorious

[@WakoDoodle]

+JoeTheSmiter Actually he fixed it; making this comment: *bing* Entirely Pointless ^^

[@Physwe]

+JoeTheSmiter Für Elise, even.

[@JiahongL]

+JoeTheSmiter That's false, it's definitely Bock's Sonater in K Miner.

[@shuriKen469]

"Soccer" is on the Systemas' Exquisitential Classicness list for the handful sold in remote parts of Siberia and the good ol' US of R.

[@JamesR624]

"Da da di-da, da, daa, daaa...*HOCUGH*"

[@GreyHulk2156]

"Three tines is not a fork. Three tines is a trident. Forks are for eating, tridents are for ruling the seven seas." - Sheldon Cooper

[@DefeatedPictures]

On the Bubble Boy box, it said "The best '1.Q' action game" instead of "I.Q" as Stuart said

[@MattMcIrvin]

"Personally, I prefer a 10.Q action game." "10.Q?" "You're welcome!"

[@AmadeusbachArt]

Those sprites in the soccer game look like the golfer from Atari Golf...

[@princeleo276]

Lmao at 'robots in maze' and 'commander for you' great marketing skills😂😂

[@_Super_Hans_]

Nice to see you making actual reviews again, Stuart.

[@wisteela]

An excellent showcase

[@Wonchop]

Did Australia just flip me off?

[@rtv190]

+Wonchop it's been a while since i've seen you around the block

[@100braindart]

+Wonchop you skinny little fat ass

[@bumblebee7838]

+Wonchop Yep, they did that in 1901.

[@softsdead]

I hope so

[@NoFormalTraining]

+Wonchop Just ask them if they call that a flip, then show them what a real flip is.

[@QuantumVLOG]

It's 2:33 in the morning... Why are you uploading now? Sleep man!

[@claras_balls]

A better question would are you watching it

[@QuantumVLOG]

+Luke Probert Try again, add a few more words in this time?

[@jennicarter6786]

+QuantumVLOG its because the british dont sleep, and if you say they do then youre wrong and theyre aliens - british girl

[@joj.]

+Luke Probert Because. We're having "An Excellent All-Nighter"

[@QuantumVLOG]

+Jenni Carter *Looks at red bull* Damn it you're right! We don't sleep!

[@camolotthe42]

This video is twelve minutes and thirty-seven seconds long. I watched it for thirteen minutes and forty seconds. SYSTEMA 2000, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

[@ryanamberger]

With that pinball game, you know the music is wretched when the developers advertise being able to turn it off as a selling point.

[@umbaupause]

It seems like these people have found out there is a sound chip, yet they haven't really figured out how to use it yet...

[@sven1155]

How can you even make a gameboy funny? you're truly amazing

[@ahchurro111]

Those transitions were glorious, mr. Ash of ens

[@thetradefloor]

TY Ashens, you beautiful boy. Why do I keep watching your channel, I can't stop, get help, I have a problem

[@ssholum]

3:45 FIHUNDREDOLLA! I have no idea why I still like that movie...

[@LilNickyRush1]

Got this up at 3 AM you wonderful man you!

[@stempig6618]

Always nice to see Ashens

[@yostoyou]

That pinball game is just... what? how? I just could not stop myself from laughing at the sheer madness.

[@DrewJPS]

What a beast of a machine. That's gotta be 0.00000. GIGAHERTZ of throbbing electro muscle.

[@Buster-rw3xl]

still laughing at when he said Bums

[@Trelior]

Bubble Boy reminded me more of Yoshi/Hatris. Also, you missed a golden opportunity for "Unique sound effect!" because, yes, it just had the one.

[@felder5201]

Watching your video whilst drunk has significantly reduced the pain of the music

[@davidwikk8048]

Hey, no fair ! I thought you were going to show, "Dungeon Advanture" (yes, that's how it's spelled).

[@ZILtoid1991]

That Bubble Boy has some Puyo Puyo vibe to it. That buckethead is probably a knock-off of the enemy-face in the Puyo Puyo games, which are a shout out to the "health bar" present in Madou Monogatari (the game where the Puyo Puyo characters originate from, it's notorious for it's unusual health feedback system which relies on the face of the enemies and the main character, making it hard to play for non-Japanese players). I highly recommend both series, although only a SNES Madou Monogatari game has translation, which got rid of the dungeon crawler elements.

[@AsymptoteInverse]

When I was in high school, they made weird and usually crappy games you could play on those high-resolution graphing calculators. They looked a lot like these.

[@zenninja5540]

My thoughts exactly!

[@generalofg3377]

This whole system is literally a calculator, minus the calculations lol.

[@AKIS_Proto]

the lucasarts parody intro. gold.

[@VideoGameManiac8]

Those horrible games hurt to watch. I think I lost a few years of my life but got them back because you always make it funny Ashens

[@TheGreg6466]

this is all some people can afford, we shouldn't laugh at the poor peoples' tech but in reality ha haa wtf lmao!! that's the funniest shit I've seen all week, thank you.

[@andrewmorrice9139]

6:15 That's not Moonlight Sonata being murdered it's Für Elise. Same composer though.

[@april20202]

For the first game the man on the left is kickpuncher and the one on the right is punchkicker. Anyone who gets that reference is the best.

[@HappiestCabbage]

the purple guy on the left on the kung fu cover is hunnnnnnng!

[@RubyDoobieScoo]

Oh the poor kids who were given this for Christmas...

[@circleofsorrow4583]

I enjoy your uploads. Have you ever considered doing a playthrough of classic adventure games for the channel? I think you'd be entertaining to watch playing Secret of Monkey Island or Leisure Suit Larry 6.

[@C0nnie]

@4:26 Ashens is a Buckethead fan?!!?

[@knocknockify]

My god, what impressive graphics, rivaling GTA 5. Soundtrack is also amazing

[@DissociatedWomenIncorporated]

Bubble Boy appears to actually be the best 1.Q. action game. Not many games can make that claim!

[@ShiftyMoses]

The 'Soccer' players all had their knobs hanging out...

[@sikthehedgehog]

Oh god that pinball bonus stage. Breakout + match two + weird physics to make that work at all? (besides being broken in the first place)

[@andrewkovnat]

1. I woke up 2. I bought a lottery ticket 3. I won the lottery Actual order: 2,3,1

[@redemption8609]

Original (sarcasm)

[@JediMasterBaiter]

+Andrew Kovnat How about: 3,1,2 ? Eh? Eh? :( Yeah, maybe not.

[@nates9536]

6:40 I caught that Monty Python reference. You thought I didn't, because you didn't know that I exist, but I caught it

[@wolfyboy]

waow! that car got some acceleration! O.O! 0 to 240 in 3 seconds! the car game at 9:00

[@Ghost_Of_SAS]

The acceleration sound from that car game sounds like The Blue Danube

[@GreatSageSunWukong]

at least pin ball knew what was the most important thing to write on the box.

[@Bismuth83X]

You mean the best ONE Q action game.

[@Raysphinx7]

Commander is a big guy FOR YOU

[@TheGaluMoD]

Taken from Wikipedia: "Retention and protention are key aspects of Edmund Husserl's phenomenology of temporality. Protention is our anticipation of the next moment. The moment that has yet to be perceived. Using the example of a ball, our focus shifts along the expected path the ball will take." Come on ashens, EVERYBODY knows that

[@lilturk726]

I wonder what the start-up frames are on that Kung Fu low-sweep kick?

[@TheHotdog742]

Ashens, your great man!

[@lowenevvan8619]

0:31 A fight on a highway that travels over pink city. We have erectionman, whom attacks with nothing but "thrust" attacks and his giant right arm after the martial artist lost his left arm and leg in a horrible accident. Erectionman faces his nemesis, the armless blue ninja turtle who still manages to weild a trident.

[@ActuallyTragic]

"Shield protention" BABY EGG PROTEETION

[@David315842]

Stuart Ashen; playing terrible handhelds for our protention. :D

[@joetyldesley3810]

got to love Ashens

[@lShishkaBerryl]

You just made my shitty birthday 927262748585 times more awesome, thank you sir.

[@HappyCynic]

+lShishkaBerryl Happy birthday.

[@brandonwenzel2844]

I've gotta say, given the glaring limitations of the system, some of these games are genuinely ambitious and even a little impressive. Obviously it's got nothing on the Gameboy; but there's I'll give credit where it's due.

[@jnharton]

The gameboy wasn't exactly advanced hardware, but it was adequate and many game developers did an excellent job within its constraints.

[@BloopsyBloop]

Looks like you're trying to Kung Fu Roberto from Futurama. So that's something.

[@TheLomdr]

Pin Ball was pretty much pinball if the ball was replaced with a pong/breakout ball, from what I see. It pretty much is like all of the 'pinball' games on the Klik N Play engine (Not really good ones due to KNP lacking a ball that was affected by gravity, which was 'fixed' in later ClickTeam engines (The Games Factory, Click N Create, and Multimedia/Clickteam Fusion)

[@InsideOutElectronics]

I feel that PROTENTION !

[@CrizzyD91]

According to Wikipedia "Protention is our anticipation of the next moment".

[@Elleander1]

Paint logo. Best logo.

[@iLOLZU42]

The physics in the pinball game are Quantum! [insert quantum physics joke here]

[@TheBungle699]

this makes the popstation's look good

[@ByakurenEnjoyer]

about part 1: that hyperspace game was probably bought in pre-2002 greece, i can recgonise the currency.

[@XOIIOXOIIO]

Oh man what is the proper version of that intro? Tip of my tongue but can't remember the studio.

[@lillydoye7418]

Lucasfilm

[@GeraldineLancaster]

Continental Galaxy is a superb name!

[@RIXRADvidz]

and now I know why I never played video games, just bally table and frisbee...

[@aaf9666]

I really, really, really like this game.

[@Nettacki]

That rendition of Fur Elise sounds like Yngwie Malmsteen covered it.

[@skins4thewin]

Well jeez.. still no dungeon game. Really wanted to see that one.