A failure or a challenge is an opportunity for you to learn something you did not know or/and to advance your ability. Please do not see it as a negative element in life. Also it is important to do something you love. Any successful people in the world enjoy their work so much and they do not see is as a 'work'. Please find yourself and find what you really love - then create something you like as a work that brings you financial rewards. Also do not apologize so much. You did not do anything to harm anyone. Please take care of your minds and health. Good luck!