Talking about my life until my feet fall off

[@Nayplays1]

I am convinced that Scott the Woz has some sort of arcane charm that attracts all the trans women who play video games to his videos lol

[@BlackTestament]

Its the friendly Peter Parker vibes, it screams the safety of someone rambling about their special interest

[@myehdotnet]

i feel called out lmao

[@BlooperStupid]

As someone who wasn't trans before watching him but is now, yeah

[@themacintoshnerd]

You know I uh have never noticed that but it certainly tracks for some reason.

[@ScaredJade]

I gotta say you are a fascinating person to me. Every time you post, I spend a solid hour thinking about the video and how it relates to myself. Talking to you for an hour would probably fundamentally change the way I see the world.

[@Aerith17]

Frottweiler is an amazing name

[@tawabunny]

the best

[@todaysdystopia283]

What you talk about at 14:20 feels so real. As someone who's been trying out KZbin as a more consistent thing, sitting down and writing a script is sometimes far more cathartic than sitting down and recording said script (which I hate) or sitting down and editing the video (which I actually love). I'm really glad I'm not the only one who feels like this.

[@axelprino]

I think you really hit the nail on the head when you said that you've lived a very interesting life so far, because girl, I never thought I could get this hooked to a channel that's mostly just you talking about yourself when I can't relate to the stuff you're saying 90% of the time and apparently your taste in games rarely overlaps with mine. I find myself disagreeing so frequently, yet I can't stop myself from listening to it, it's very much an instructive experience because it shows me a perspective I basically never come across in real life due to wildly different social circles... and cultural differences too I guess since we live in different continents.

[@bencesarvari2235]

Wish I could give people as much as you do. Your videos have such a sense of community and togetherness. It is comforting while also giving us a lot to think about.

[@parkersquirrell252]

In regards to people leaving after the honesty video, my thoughts on it are basically that it's between you and your people, and it seems they've forgiven you for your actions. I will never know you or the situation as well as they do, so if they forgive, it seems reasonable to think that i have no ground on which to hold you accountable for it. Im also coming from somewhat of a place of empathy. I've never cheated with anyone, but queer friend groups and college party crowds can get a little messy on occasion.

[@SlasherFrenzy0]

Glad to see you again, Lead ❤

[@birubu]

Minor thing unrelated to the video content but your voice training has paid off really well. Keep it up.

[@kodicraft]

My grandmother is still alive though she doesn't have much time left. I had accepted that I would never come out to her or at least believed I did. Your story deeply resonated with me and kind of forced me to reevaluate this philosophy I had convinced myself I accepted. It's... kind of dreadful to be so brutally challenged but I can only thank you for this. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your experiences.

[@silver1788]

Please dont stress yourself too hard about the videos Real life always takes priority and we can wait. Especially with everything happening right now. I am very used to waiting for videos/books/movies or something along those lines and i didn’t even notice that it had been a bit since the last upload. These videos you put up nowadays are among the best ones on this platform and i find the rate at which you produce these to be incredible and more than we could ever hope for. Edit: i just checked and it has only been like a month since the honesty video This really is nothing and you really dont have to hold yourself to such a pace if its not really what you want

[@rosependragon]

Toes in thumbnail, feet in title? This video can only be amazing

[@henstar337]

The doing your own thing and not caring about the channel shrinking due to pivoting away from gaming analysis videos is the realest thing ever. World's most honest youtuber.

[@MudNugget]

this has probably been the most relatable video of yours (to me I mean) the anxiety, the loneness, fear of other people's thoughts of me, my own dark thoughts, and acceptance but not exactly peace of mind. So hopefully I'll see more videos like this in the future, no matter how long the wait.

[@IamKAyrox]

This video was so chill. I played Minecraft the whole time, it was reminiscing of playing with a friend talking with the game being background noise. (Don't worry, I'm completely aware of the parasocial relationships and stuff)

[@lemonlordminecraft]

“I bet you watch hbomberguy” feels so pointed but like if I said it to someone it’d be because I consider them a kindred spirit

[@RoxlLuikhart]

It's been a lovely and emotional time getting to hear your thoughts and experiences in your life, honestly thank you for sharing them. I find it's been an ever-evolving and sometimes difficult experience trying to live as myself, discovering all the interesting facets and flaws of who i am as a person, and it's a comfort to hear the kind of similar experiences that you've gone through and the thoughts you share behind it all. Thank you Leadhead

[@juanitopantuflapantufla2605]

Thank you I needed someone to listen to and having your voice helped a lot I hope in the future I'll manage to be my own best friend

[@coolappledarmancier]

Thank you for everything you are a content creator that helped me a lot figuring my life out ^^

[@The_Rat_Bridget_Fan]

Frottweiler Holy shit Genuine art

[@Moosler]

Usually very quiet everywhere. But I think the screenshots are a great thing. Have a safe time to you and your family, the responsibility seems to be doing you good.

[@hiskobab8687]

i'm writing this 9 minutes into the video, but if your going to make a fun gameplay-rant video, could you please consider putting timestamps on it if you decide to make another one? i'm really captivated by your experiance and description of your grandfather, and how the consept of truth and lies gets twirled and comfusing when faced with someone's hourclock while on theyre death bed. it becomes even more of a dillemna by what kind of person that-said person is. i gave Poor description of what i got and liked about your rant but atleast i wanted to say that this video style is really awesome Keep it up Leadhead!

[@alphaiguess2900]

I had never wanted to come out to my grandfather either, but eventually it got to the point where I had to. He was like your grandfather, mainlining fox news and living across the state and whatnot. Thankfully, my immediate family was supportive when I did it; we were expecting the worst. But he did something weird: he talked about this one beloved uncle he had who was "like me" and had been killed in Florida in the 50s. He started crying and thanked me for telling him. He still calls me by my deadname and doesn't really get it, but he's got the spirit. I'm sorry to hear about your granddad.

[@MrToastBTW]

Playing the titanfall2 campaign while listening to this is def disorienting but worth it.

[@dontmindme2044]

I just want to tell you that this video made me think about MY grandpa and how I want him to know me before he dies. He isn't incredibly sick or anything, but he IS already almost 83 years old. On one hand, maybe he'll accept me as trans masc (I've gradually been presenting myself as more and more masc for a few years now), he has already shown small hints that he could be accepting. But on the other hand, I'm really close with him, and I don't want that relationship to shatter. He has said some slightly homophobic shit before. If he dies before I come out, I am sure that I'll forever feel guilty. If I come out before he dies, there is a chance that he will hate me, even on his death bed. I've been thinking about this every once in a while for some years now, but your video really REALLY made me think about it, and I have now decided to risk it and tell him. It will be a month before I'll get to see him properly again, I don't know how to tell him, but I trust myself to come up with something

[@pokkiheart]

This brought me back to sleepovers with the kid I haven't seen in 2 years, talking about how life has been since I moved over fortnite back when we both played. This video was a good idea.

[@wenzir6118]

My great grandfather passed away last month and at the way you described your experience with your grandpa really surmised my feelings. I only really got to see him around Christmas but and he was very conservative but seeing all my family that lived around him were so distraught that it kind of just left me with a very odd feeling. I’m sorry for my little yap sess but I love your videos and they really help me understand life and see that others feel the way I do 💜

[@BenMcManus]

"I want to feel" is such a great way to put it, I'm the same I just want to feel immersed in the world

[@rocket_hops]

The challenged philosophy vibe is also something I've been struggling with lately, the only people in my life I can trust I can't be honest with type deal I guess

[@darthtader5802]

My favourite videos that you’ve made are ones like this where you just talk about your life. If you’re low on ideas I’d love to see more of these videos

[@Haitch_Kay]

Posting this before getting into the video, but I just want to say that I hope you stay safe. Things are going to get awful, but we have to get through this. We have to.

[@HotDogTimeMachine385]

Penelope walking over mountains while talking about life. Comfy

[@TavishMcEwen]

i loved my grandpa, but during the last year knew him i could no longer see past his bigotry, and my love was mostly replaced. Didn't speak to that side of my family for two years when i came out. I had expected there to be some moment of confrontation, but there wasn't. When he died was the first time i went to see that side of the family, and almost none of my concerns were realized. I've still hardly spoken to any of them since, but not for any specific reason this time, other than lack of connection.

[@mokat]

leadhead why are your videos in that specific aspect ratio? looks cool

[@Eepy-Rose]

She has a monitor with that aspect ratio

[@mokat]

@Eepy-Rose fair enough

[@hazelarson6970]

I really do like this style of video, even if it's not something you're doing again. Thank you.

[@Doctorispie]

I love the way you talk about Sam like he's a little virtual pet you need to take care of

[@crimsonkate8241]

Absolute honesty is luxury afforded to those that have never been trapped in circumstances with genuine abusive consequences.

[@googleuser5062]

this is my comfort game too, i always go back to it when i need to relax

[@dahahaka]

I love death stranding :) can't wait for ds2

[@burnttoqst9061]

i agree with the stress of judgement in online games. It's so stressful and makes me feel profoundly terrible. I'm starting to come out of that shell now, but more out of a sense of doing my part than competing. I like support roles, I like being the machine gunner!

[@Lumaleee]

Hope you’re doing well

[@MagnusMFX]

Glad to see you again, Lead

[@ferenccseh4037]

About the grandpa story: In my book, someone can lose the right to my honesty, and my grandparents have, so even though I'm an honest person, these people who have hurt me get excluded.

[@Ruostevuori]

There's an excellent video concerning preparedness that you might want to check out if you already haven't. It's called "Lawyer, Passport, Locksmith, Gun" by Deviant Ollam. The name of the video can be somewhat misleading, but the information in it is excellent. It gets into some heavy topics, but it has good trigger warnings ahead of those parts. You're already on the right road- communities is how we survive through hard times. I hope you and your family are and stay safe out there.

[@BirdNoise77]

Frottweiler is CRAZY. Here from the hurricane video, glad you're all okay.

[@Nkanyiso_K]

the only good use for ai on this channel would be automatic denoising of audio

[@Kiezkollege]

Your grandfather was your last hope to help you out of your mental illness

[@the10ofdiamondscard]

when's the last time you talked to your dad

[@williamsmith1744]

@@the10ofdiamondscard is that some sort of comeback? most people's fathers would agree with him. you'd know if you had one 🤣🤣🤣

[@terrariaking1068]

I liked the video, thanks. Hoping for the best for you!

[@googleuser5062]

also container repair spray is a life saver for mountain trips

[@cas_thekid]

as someone who has not seen this game i apologize but i cannot ignore the baby no matter the discussion

[@JonatanNoponen]

this was so cosy

[@HaruEb]

I guess youtube detected this video was different from your others and failed to let me know you put it out, I went to check your channel after you mentioned "the last video" causing a drop in views or something in today's video 26-11. KZbin is a dumb dumb and I liked this video Anyway, you can add me to the people you've impacted positively, and I don't even know the number of people that I've shown the Transfemme Field Guide to that have really gotten a lot out of it, always keen for more from you

[@captainscowllyface]

T-T-T-Total Ego Bloat. Get a diary, yo.

[@oliver1820]

awesome sigma vid

[@brvnotrash]

if you do this again some time (which you should) consider turning the game's volume a bit down, cause it was kind of loud and battling against your voice lol also thank you so much for this video, to me death stranding is the perfect game for this kind of content and i don't see people trying out this a lot hope everything is well, keep being the amazing person you are!

[@dwfc775]

Typically my ADHD can't handle a sit down like this, but I enjoyed every second of this. You're one of a kind, Penny. Love you and stay well.

[@EmilyWeeks56]

i love this video obvi, but farcry 2 cut would be cool

[@ottertotter5932]

Here I am wanting to engage and respond with every topic you put forward. BUT In the moment where you are talking about Puppygirl stuff and said "The Need to Mature in my life is getting more Tangible everyday." This is a moment where it's the calm before the storm, and I'm grappling with the same feelings. I can no longer just be passive,. Go to work, do house chores, take care of my partner and pets, and wait for things to improve best I can. This feels like a moment where "Brash" decisions need to be made before the option is no longer a choice to make. It's made me realise how unprepared I am both physically and mentally. Need to stop letting things go on a slow burn and get shit together for the worst, no matter how possible that is.

[@Nopityforthemajority]

Leadhead go check out the Half Life 2 twentieth anniversary documentary. Make some more half life content!

[@llemonshop]

Your content has meant the world to me since you transitioned (no wordplay intended) from video game centric content to the more personal stuff. Even just your transfem field guide has done so much to help me through my own transition, even in a household that greeted it with a lot of abrasiveness and coldness at first. Thank you for doing what you do, genuinely.

[@diakothefirst]

is it not to uncomfortable to take life this hard ?

[@klarkolofsson]

Carpe diem? I know what you mean though, everyone is struggling. Some people choose to share it and that might be helpful, for some people. I guess we need to separate online from real life.

[@bigheadman7489]

WELCOMe BACK!!!

[@RobertStoll]

Good to see you're well.

[@Rocco-iv8e]

What game?

[@toast1612]

death stranding

[@EDuarteVillanueva]

Heya! Very glad to see you back!

[@greenyxd7298]

you sound like Brian David Gilbert behind the scenes in terms of cadence. what a throwback

[@Ikea_Shark990]

Im very excited for that talk on you becoming a mother in a found family. I recently obtained my own found family so itd be interesting to hear your experience

[@klarkolofsson]

I’m sorry but the digital voice audio puts me off.

[@nathan_amato]

this was a really fun video, you're honestly extremely cohesive when off-script

[@questioningespecialy9107]

22:24-22:26 clip it 💀

[@jcumm6867]

I haven't watched this yes but I swear I will!! Ily please don't stop doing you ever🥺❤️

[@Viper0451]

45:36 ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

[@betin731]

You kinda sound like a female Todd Howard and I mean that fully as a compliment

[@MacinteuchPlus]

Yes she was in the chess club

[@himynameisdamian2535]

Hi lead

[@BigBossMan1996]

Have you been defeated??

[@giha.3347]

Why the voice modulator?

[@Camon-w9g]

Wait he us trans now ???? noooooo. Why every nerd turn trans ?

[@Daveforever]

your narcissism is showing

[@TheAdvancedMC]

early letsbgooo

[@AnchorNick]

I wanna be friends. We have the same comfort-plays :)

[@SpontaneousPudding]

You look like if weird al yankovich was a serial killer

[@Hamter_mental_counseling]

Not a woman

[@klarkolofsson]

Who cares, buddy.

[@Hamter_mental_counseling]

@ it looks a bit weird. I wonder how a guy can end up looking like this. I just don’t get the trans vibe, not sure if that’s what he was going for or if just has a terrible barber

[@Kiezkollege]

​@@klarkolofssonI bet his grandfather did.