Talking insomnia #82: Finding a way to meet the emotional flood that had been suppressed for years.

After a period of stress in the spring of 2021, Ilona decided to do a digital detox. Little did she know that her phone had been a way to buffer uncomfortable emotions that had been present for years, and that her decision would open floodgates that couldn't be closed again.
In this episode we learn how Ilona found herself in a struggle with sleep, in a place of experimenting with medications and ultimately seeing the path towards peace.
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Would you like a roadmap from Insomnia to immunity? Download using below link.
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Have a question for open class?
Please submit here and I will try to respond soon in an Open class episode.
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Would you like to work with a sleep coach? Awesome! Here are some great options:
The Insomnia Immunity Group Coaching Program.
BedTyme, a sleep coaching app for iOS and Android offering 1:1 text based coaching.
Zoom based 1:1 coaching with Coach Michelle.
The Insomnia Immunity program is perfect if you like learning through video and want to join a group on your journey towards sleeping well.
BedTyme is ideal if you like to learn via text and have a sleep coach in your pocket.
The 1:1 Zoom based program is for you if you like to connect one on one with someone who has been where you are now.
For more about these programs here: www.thesleepcoachschool.com
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Do you like learning by reading? If so, here are two books that offer breakthroughs!
Set it & Forget it by Daniel Erichsen
www.amazon.com...
This is Natto by Daniel Erichsen
www.amazon.com...
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Not sure where to start? Check out these playlists!
This is natto - the perfect place to start learning!
• This is Natto - Start ...
Success stories - if you need hope and inspiration, this is for you.
• Success stories
Insomnia insight - a list of every single episode.
• Playlist
Talking insomnia - guests with trouble sleeping or experts share their stories / tips.
• Talking insomnia
Hypnic jerks, hypnic awareness and other common issues.
• Hypnic jerks and more.
Fatal insomnia - for those concerned about ffi and sfi.
• Familial and sporadic ...
Speed bumps - when you think you had a setback or “relapse.”
• Talking insomnia #55: ...
The self coaching model
• The model
Best!
This content does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or other qualified healthcare providers.

[@malena7362]

By knowing i could do something by doing nothing to have a good relationship with sleep help me tremendously. And when I found you Daniel I truly believe in everything you said . I trusted you , because I felt like you were talking to me . Everything I felt you described to the T .

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

😊

[@malena7362]

Education brought so much light into my helpless mind . Now I know how my brain works , I know when it’s trying to make me aware of something . And I know that I can always answer back with your just anxious, and that’s that. Yes being kind to yourself is the best. And how I said just knowing that not doing anything is key. Sometimes after a anxious thought just tell myself I’m anxious and thats it and I’m just going to lay here and accept that I’m anxious and I probably won’t sleep and I’m okay. It is what it is. And most of the time I just fall to sleep . And I don’t question how long it took me either . Lol . It makes no point because I mean at the end of the day I was anxious. And if I don’t I know why. It takes a long time to recover from something like this but it will happen the more you sleep Specially over a sleep bump because Every time you go through it you learn more and more about yourself and how in tune you are with your body and mind, and how you will always sleep eventually. Then you always know no matter what. You’ll get through it. Sleep confidence is at its high and immunity comes after.

[@malena7362]

@@Freydis_MAximus keep in mind I’m not a doctor . I can only share my story. I hope your doing well.

[@crystalcristina6025]

Did you take any sleeping medications or did you just deal with your anxiety naturally?

[@malena7362]

@@crystalcristina6025 I tried sleeping medicine but it never gave me deep sleep matter of fact the first few times it didn’t make me sleep at all. And it made my anxiety problems worse because I thought something was really wrong with me if I couldn’t even sleep with meds. I tried herbal teas too nothing really help . If anything it just made me feel drugged . But not rested . For me it made me more anxious so I stopped them. Because I was not sleeping anyways. But for some people it helps it just depends on the situation and how you feel about taking them. I’m not a doctor here so no medical advice like Daniel says . The day I slept with no medicine no herbal teas no nothing is the confidence and conformation I needed to understand I was just anxious for a long period of time. But how do you feel when you take the medicine you feel mad about it or you feel calmer . It depends . Daniel has a lot of helpful information on here .

[@mikaelsanchez7258]

The sleep master Daniel!! I praise your channel to anyone who tells me about their sleep woes. I can’t stress how great your teachings are enough to these people who are in such a hopeless state. Hoping all is well !!

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Mikael! I’m seeing how the channel is growing thanks to the word getting out.. thanks so much for all the support 🤗

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Oh and yes all well thanks!!

[@lovelysee3780]

Ahh Ilona made me smile and laugh so much listening to her experience!! So much because her story is sooooo similar to mine and she has so much amazing insight that you only get from this channel and the journey itself. She really highlights what’s wrong in the medical field and how there’s no real deep dive into what can happen once we (accidentally) develop an anxiety around our sleep. Someone has a bad night, we go to the doctor and the FIRST thing they do is prescribe medication which reinforces that something is wrong thus we get into this terrible loop. The brain is now on freak out mode and by the time we realize this, it’s already spiraled and it takes time to heal yourself from that. Ilona had sooo many insights so far and she’ll definitely get past those speed bumps for sure! She would also make an amazing sleep coach if she decides to become one! So happy for her and how far she’s come ☺️

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

😊 nothing to add, you said it so well Sierra. Thanks so much for being here and yes (!) it’s so nice when someone makes us smile. It makes things lighter for us, I appreciated this so much as well!!

[@lynettalongstreet3278]

Thanks Ilona for sharing your story. My story is similar to yours. It was traumatizing and has been the darkest time of my life. I am feeling and doing much better now thanks to the education of this channel. The medical system offers no real help, and they do not understand what’s happening to people when faced with these challenges. Thanks again Daniel!

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Anytime Lynetta, so so glad to read this 😊

[@neilfishman1138]

It was so easy to identify with Ilona’s journey . Great interview , so glad for her that she found you.The part that she was talking about escaping pain is just one of those fields that put insomnia on a larger scale. Loved it ❤️❤️❤️

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

😊 so glad this resonated Neil! We’re all learning about that larger scale aren’t we?

[@malena7362]

Ahhhhh the magic moment!!! Is the best!!! I had that one and when it did it was up going forward sleep confidence was back. Okay back to the video .

[@debbievogan7470]

Thank you so much, Illona, for sharing your story! I smiled and laughed so much. What an awesome interview. And, of course, I can relate so much.

[@MaryLee-j7l]

I would love to see an update from Ilona! Like one of those "after insomnia" episodes. I wish her the best!

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Great idea! When I come back in September I’ll see if I can reach her

[@LouellaMagtajas]

Hi Coach Daniel, is it okay to taper on meds even if I can't still sleep on my own (without the help of aleep meds)? I am on Ambian and Nortriptalyne right now. But I am really anxious of taking ambian for a long time as I am afraid of the withdrawal.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Louella; no medical advice here but many have said it was actually easier because “there weren’t doing anything anyway”

[@christinalockington8222]

Okay besides Michelles story this one resonates big time!!! Every single part especially the strange emotions coming up from past trauma or even present issues... Even the balance of being okay and not being okay with speed bumps. Omg brilliant story. I had evrry single issue.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So glad you found this Christina. 😊

[@jonathanc4166]

Ativan actually works pretty good for me because it gives me a calming feeling instead of a sedated feel . But i guess it's different from person to person.

[@Mattyic313]

Thanks for ur channel so much man!! Ive been so afraid of insomnia and dying from insomnia but when i watch ur videos on SFI or FFI its really has helped me a lot keep up the good work 👍

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So glad to read this, it’s the reason the channel exists 😊!!

[@MrLee-zp9oj]

Ok I see myself in all these interviews, and I'm ready to get better!!! I'm so excited that someone understands where I'm at! I've been dealing with insomnia for 40 years. On and off antidepressant and benzos and now I've found yourp channel, and am sooo hopeful. How do I start? Is there are beginning in your KZbin channel that I need to start from? I want my life back and I just know your knowledge will help. Please direct me on how to start this journey......

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So glad you’re here 😊! And yes, I’d say go to the playlists in the description of any new video and start with This is Natto and the Success stories playlist, that’s a great place

[@grantdavies6081]

Love the story, I’m right in the nothing works, what now stage and love the videos

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So glad it resonated and, this is a common phase on the path of leaving the struggle 🙂

[@TrevorStoneaker]

Hi Daniel, I’ve gone through a bit of a regression in my progress. I’d slept well for months and then last night i got into bed, very tired with a high sleep drive. Suddenly I started thinking what if I don’t fall asleep despite being tired and for some reasons this thought stuck and I became very anxious. I still fell asleep after around 20 minutes, but woke up after 4 hours. What’s worse is I took the day off in response to this which is even more counter productive. Any advice to get back on track.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Jake, Thanks for being in touch and you know… I think what really really helps is self kindness. Taking a day of was perhaps exactly what you needed, it was self care in action. And you know, we often have this idea that now when we had a regress we have to do something…which is just what leads to some struggle. Having a nice day with some treat for oneself, this helps 😊

[@TrevorStoneaker]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thankyou so much for responding, and it’s my pleasure to stay in touch as I owe so many full nights of sleep to the education from this channel. I completely understand your advice but I think I’ve been guilty of being a little to king to myself in the past, such as relying on alcohol at the beginning of the year and taking many days off. I guess you have to be willing to go through struggle but it’s all too easy to use avoidance tactics as well. That’s something I’m still trying to navigate. Thanks again.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Anytime! And oh yes I see this..and you know I think it may be different when the intent is to escape pain and when we just need a break. Like you said, when we find ourselves avoiding pain then perhaps it’s time to change things. But if it’s just like a time when we needed a break, we’ll maybe that was all!

[@beaniez8854]

Thank you for sharing your story Ilona! I know it was a deep struggle and pretty traumatic, but you learned so much and are helping others now too. I'm so happy you are making your way out of this struggle. It resonates with me (and my husband) so much. My husband sounds similar to yours. I'm going to make him watch this video so he doesn't feel alone in his support for someone dealing with this. So my story is that I ended up in the hospital and on heavy meds (also, Seroquel which I hated!). I'm glad I had the meds at the time, but thankfully I found Daniel's channel soon after. And I knew that I could sleep on my own again. It's so rough in the beginning with those short bursts of sleep with vivid dreams. But I'm finally getting there! Finally learning to be OK with whatever the night brings. I'm sleeping in longer stretches but with speed bumps of course. I'm learning to not react to those speed bumps and just feel Peaceful at night and Acceptance during the day. Peace 💜

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So glad to see these lines 😊

[@jahriskincareessentialsand5729]

How is she doing now?

[@SallyBrennan-vz6cv]

Would it be possible to connect with ilona to speak about her experience? It’s similar to mine and I’m really struggling right now and finding it hard to connect Wouk people with similar experiences, I feel this would help me a lot

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Sally, this would be the way to get in touch, she may check the comments. Hang in there and glad you found a story that resonates

[@genadijusdovidovas183]

Hi,im new hear what does mean ,SPEED BUMPS '?

[@brittanyspears8896]

Hi, question - is it inevitable to have speed bumps? Sometimes it scares me because I’m currently a month into my sleep anxiety and sometimes this gives me more anxiety to not know if I will have a full recovery. Does anyone FULLy recover and not think about sleep using the practices and tools? Or is this a forever challenge we all will be forced to deal with? Also, I think I eventually want to start the app, but are you one of the coaches Daniel? Or no?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Brittany, I will say there have been many students who have had a fairly easy path, but I can’t say I remember anyone who didn’t have some bumps. But that’s just something we learn from that makes things easier. And yes, I have started a series called life after insomnia, you can tune in to those episodes to hear from folks who’ve left the struggle completely.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

I’m one of the coaches in Bedtyme but not taking new students now, but - both Alina and Veronika are and they have both left the struggle.

[@tricia2633]

I can’t afford sleep, a immunity program or bedtyme. Any suggestions for me? That’s a chronic insomniac?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Tricia, You know, this has been on my mind much lately and I hosted a small group discussion that was $49 two weeks ago. I plan to make this a recurring service, I’ll announce how you can get notified shortly when I’ve figured out how. Hang in there

[@katelingates-gonzales7086]

Hi Daniel, I am studying the pre-extinction burst and trying to understand when to dismiss our brain's alert signals and when to listen. Do you have some examples of when you would use either path? I know that when it's more deep-rooted that listening is better and if not then dismissing. Some examples would help me a lot. Thanks :)

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Katelin! You know it’s more about stickiness than the subject I think. Meaning, if someone has this thought “I can’t sleep without melatonin” and then meet it with “that’s silly, I’ve slept well without!” and this thought then goes away and doesn’t really come back… nice! If on the other hand it keeps coming back even when it’s been dismissed, that means it’s sticky and we have to listen.

[@katelingates-gonzales7086]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thank you. How would this apply for something like racing thoughts at bedtime? I suppose racing thoughts is one of the manifestations of anxiety and probably something that happens nightly for someone so it would be considered "sticky" so listening would be better? Though maybe not since at bedtime we distract ourselves with doing something we enjoy.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

I totally think racing thoughts is an invitation to listen, for sure. And distracting oneself, this is the same as dismissing thoughts, it’s fine if they’re not sticky, but when sticky we can’t dismiss or distract, listening is what helps.

[@11ellie7]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 hey Daniel, just as a follow up question since I was curious about this convo, when we do something enjoyable at night, is it actually functioning as a distraction? Or is it more like addressing the thoughts? Wasn’t sure, thanks and sorry if this is a nit picky question

[@katelingates-gonzales7086]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you :)

[@ackt83]

hi daniel. signed up for bedtyme but sleep coach is not you and somebody else? did you stop one on one coaching?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi, thanks for the support. Yes I’m focusing now on training coaches. But Alina is amazing in case you decide to stay on!

[@TonyTiger1050]

On your website it says I can enroll in the insomnia immunity program and I know I also saw a place where I could book a 1 on 1 video zoom based meeting but I cannot find that page anymore. How can I find the area where I can book a 1 on 1 to get started?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Tony! Here’s the place, you can book a single 1:1 or a bundle as well. Thanks for asking! www.thesleepcoachschool.com/offers/8AAxTYjo/checkout

[@TonyTiger1050]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ok thanks I was missing the fact that you can scroll down further. I am reading your book and love your approach I seem to be getting some improvement from your book and videos but I think a 1 on 1 would really help me.. When I book an appointment how long does it take to get a time and date ?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

I’m so happy Tony you’ve found the book and videos helpful. And you know, we need to come up with a way to show when the first available appointment is. I’m realizing this as I read this. Looking at the schedule there are slots as easy as Wednesday. Best!

[@salvadorvazquezlopez3465]

Hi Daniel! I follow all your Videos, Very Good Content.. Well the thing that I don’t understand is how with all the knowledge I’m getting from all your Videos and info on what Really causes Insomnia I still feel Lost. I feel like I should be more at ease knowing that Anxiety has all to do with it but I can’t seem to put it in to Perspective. I feel like there is no Hope for me. I can go sometimes 2 days with sleeping well but that’s it. It’s like I have set myself up like that now. Any Advice?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi Salvador, You know, this is a common situation… As you know, the more pressured we feel to sleep or to control our thoughts and emotions, the more trouble we have. Now something that can actually add to that pressure is having a lot of knowledge. It sounds kind of odd but very many of my clients are yoga instructors or have meditated for many years or are licensed counselors or psychologist. And in one way, this background can be helpful because you have insights into how the mind works. But it can also be very tricky because you feel like you really SHOULD get it. And even if you don’t have this background, just being a person that fully understands and completely gets all the teaching can do the same thing. You understand everything so why are you still feeling the way you feel? Why do you still have irrational fear? Why are you still so tired? Why are you stuck? Well, the answer is actually right there. The reason is that you are hard on yourself. You’re questioning yourself, you’re pressuring yourself. No human being that has ever lived or will ever live could control their thoughts or their emotions or sleep. When we see this, we see that thinking that one should be able to control these things is like thinking that we should be able to make our hair color blue. And that questioning why you still struggle is like being hard on yourself for still having black hair. So truly, what this leads to is just one direction: a massive dose of self-kindness that you owe yourself. Think of the five-year-old version of yourself and how you would talk to that version of yourself when they were feeling like you are feeling now. Be gentle and kind and reassuring, and you will see that everything becomes much much easier. When the pressure goes away, when you see that there is no “should”, then the path becomes so much easier.

[@salvadorvazquezlopez3465]

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 I Appreciate Your Reply, Daniel! Man You could not Explain it Better🤗 It Makes Hella Sense. Will Apply it For Sure.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

So so glad it does 😁!!

[@antoniojesus410]

I have the same problem over 5 Year's stress out one day I'll sleep better

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

You will AJ, when you’re willing to learn and find some courage, good things come to you.

[@flipw.6637]

Hi Daniel, TY for the video, .......every night I have chronic PTSD nightmares, ......So the problem is not so much anymore the insomnia in itself but the nightmares.........I think the nightmares are a consequence of the once so severe insomnia...........I looked on youtube "how to stop nightmares", a therapy that always comes back is "rewrite the script "in a positive sense during the day...........But how can I rewrite if the nightmares are different every night?.......................Is it a good idea when I wake up during my nightmare to rewrite it already during the night and then go back to sleep? .......I am very confused now and do not know what to do....................Or do I have to treat the nightmares as insomnia (hyperarousel), becaue they go hand in hand? ..........Or are the nightmares in fact the hyperarousel itself? .......What do I tell my brain during a nightmare?........I have so manyy questions, I know I cannot ask you all.....................Last but not least, do you have a video made ever concerning that topic, or do you know a good book or a good source here on youtube to look for it?.......I am desperate for a good source! I need something.....Or even better, can you make a video of it? 😃.. Can you give me something to work on please.?......TY in advance Daniel, have a nice week, Filip!

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Filip! I just felt inspired reading this comment to make a video. Oddly I think we haven’t covered this, check episode 423!

[@ENEMA_AND_YOGA_CHANNEL]

I have been doing yoga enemas and yoga for insomnia.

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi! Whatever leads is to abandoning the struggle to achieve sleep can truly help!

[@ilzhakeem5218]

Can someone tell me what she did ?

[@thesleepcoachschool8192]

Hi, it’s really about learning and understanding… and letting go 😊

[@JenS0513]

I can relate so so much to this 🤕🩷 I loved it