Talking with our Spouses About FIRE: 2 x Two Sides of FI (Part 1)

[@TwoSidesOfFI]

Part 2 of this conversation is now live! Check it out at kzbin.info/www/bejne/poC7qnRsacejrKc

[@withwilk7473]

My parents are 65 & 60 and ten years ago they actually did a fire type thing, before fire was popularised. They sold the family home, downsized to an apartment, my dad went from full time to self employed part time (gardening, dog walking) and my mum continued part time. And now just this year they have fully "retired". This decade of semi-retirement that wasn't driven by money but more lifestyle has been a big part in my decision to aggressively save & invest so I can retire at 50.

[@dinkle5813]

Appreciating the “real” conversation

[@thatguy00842]

Gotta say, that "living like we're in college" in terms of considering your time and financial limits is one of the things that drew me to FI. People tend to imagine that FI is great because you have unlimited time and money, but it's figuring out how to enjoy life within limits set for yourself is honestly the best part. I also took a few years headstart on my wife. A gradual transition is probably the best way.

[@mikezimmermann2908]

I had a conversation with a friend several years ago who thought that you are retired when you are doing what you want because you want to, not because you have to. I have hung on to that definition ever since.

[@TwoSidesOfFI]

That's definitely our view on the outcome of being financially independent - i.e. you have complete freedom to choose how you spend your time. That could of course mean that you keep working if you want to. But to your point - you don't *have* to. Thanks for sharing.

[@janesimmons8201]

I'm not talking about becoming FIRE with my peers since they are all maxed out with having everything and I'm living simple.

[@TwoSidesOfFI]

Hi Jane, you're absolutely right that talking FIRE is a tricky subject. Even though we've covered the topic often in our shows, we recognize that there's still a lot more to say about it. If you're not a regular reader of Jason's blog, you might find some of what he's written there on this topic to be interesting. Best wishes to you

[@kelly2105]

My wife is on-board, except for the healthcare risks. My job provides reasonable insurance, and everything we're seeing on the ACA exchange or just searching directly is very expensive and very poor compared to what we have. Figuring that out is gating my FIRE 100% right now. She isn't as interested in RE, she works for herself and likes what she does.

[@TwoSidesOfFI]

Thanks for sharing, Kelly. Healthcare costs (in the US in particular) are a very real concern for nearly all of us considering FIRE. And the quality and number of ACA offerings differ quite a bit across the states. Is a post-FIRE move to another state an option for you? Totally understood her point re: RE! As we all know, FI is about having the freedom to make whatever job-related choices we want. For some, it means full-on retirement. For others, cutting back hours or changing to a less onerous job is the right option. And for those like your wife, no change at all n the near term is the perfect fit!

[@shersh_n]

Hi Eric and Jason, I found this channel through Eric's 30x40 DW. Eric has been an inspiration to me for many years. I'm an Architect who went off into my own practice a few months ago. In the best of economies trying to achieve FIRE goal/s (however I my structure this) is a challenge, and being an Architect attempting this feels like the challenge is just compounded. I have the dream, not really the tangible methods to achieve FI, but knowing that Eric, as a fellow Architect is exploring this, it gives me confidence in doing it to.

[@30by40]

Congrats on the new practice...your FIRE goal/s just got easier! It may not feel like it now in these early days, but owning a business will shorten your time to FI. Start with a lean, zero-debt model, research and take advantage of the solo 401K if that's an option for you, save first and spend only what's left over. With a simple financial operating system in place you'll be amazed at what you'll be able to accomplish. If you need help, check out my A+E Course on my website; tons of practical, tactical + strategic info. for new practice owners. Good luck!

[@shersh_n]

@@30by40 Hi Eric, thanks for the advice. I hear you, take a simple strategy and carry it out consistently. Still feeling the nerves of stepping out on my own but pressing forward. The A+E Course was one of the first investments I made in me (and my firm) :) I'm working my way through it currently and implementing as I go and where I can. I have faith I'll be reporting back with a comment either here or on 30x40 in a few months with some news of good progress!

[@happy_exmo9422]

"Differently Employed" is a better word than "retirement."

[@TwoSidesOfFI]

Jason here - It's tricky, isn't it? I mean, I pour wine one day a week at a tasting room for fun. I will stop at any point that it's no longer fun, as I'm not reliant upon the income for our livelihood. But I'm hard pressed to call it a job! I wrote about one potential solution on my blog recently: thenextphaseisnow.com/the-dreaded-r-word/

[@straitjacketstudios]

That is my wife’s concern with pursuing FIRE. She is worried about living in a van down by the river just because we are FIRE. (21:00)

[@TwoSidesOfFI]

Indeed, this is a common concern for family members not fully up to speed on the numbers. We all learn in different ways, so it may take a number of conversations + varying approaches to get the message clear. But it's effort well worth it to get your spouse on board with the plan! Best wishes to you.

[@wdeemarwdeemar8739]

Late to this convo I also don’t talk to my peers and friends or family about how much my wife and I have saved. Both our families and friend are living beyond their means.

[@TwoSidesOfFI]

It’s a personal decision for sure, and we all need to handle it in the ways that make the most sense for our circumstances.

[@dmang0]

Thanks for the content.

[@tommyryan7374]

My wife loves the idea. We are in a difficult spot however as a young family and don’t have much margin in our budget to set aside a large amount to retirement accounts.

[@TwoSidesOfFI]

Glad to hear that! What you say is totally understandable, Tommy. I'm sure you are also aware that the dollars you contribute earliest are worth the most down the road. So long as you're contributing what you manage and in the most efficient manner - in the US, this generally means up to your company match (if available) in your 401k and then to a Roth, assuming you're eligible, and so on - you're doing what you can, and it's all worth it. Best wishes to you!

[@buck4mt]

You don’t need to set aside “large amounts”… just challenge yourself to set aside some money. It starts very slow, and can almost be unmotivating in the beginning… but if you simply put aside a little money and invest it - after time you’ll see how it grows and it will fuel your desire to grow it further. You’ll discover first hand how the more you add, the more the money begins to work for you. Later in life it will be super obvious, and your biggest regret is that you just wish you would have started earlier. Good luck!!

[@noraz12]

It seems like Laura took Eric's long sleeve, podcasting, black shirt, and so Eric had to wear his short sleeve black shirt.

[@joaom.4944]

Greetings from Brazil

[@TwoSidesOfFI]

Have you shared your FIRE aspirations with your partner? Did you encounter any challenges? If so, how did you resolve them? We'd love to hear from you.

[@Scott-sm9nm]

A lot of 'pay yourself first' started 25 yrs ago before we/I heard of FIRE. Use of financial planning tools along the way helps (quicken to monitor spending and then quicken financial planner), then several web tools before buying MoneyTree GoldenYears and using RightCapital. These showed "proof" it could work to my spouse. Was laid off during corporate downsizing about 2-3 yrs before wanting to FIRE. Cincher was paying for an *hourly* (not AUM) financial planner to go over our plan and then spouse could see how the professionals viewed it.

[@TwoSidesOfFI]

@@Scott-sm9nm Very true in my case as well. Thanks for sharing and best wishes to you!

[@Scott-sm9nm]

@@TwoSidesOfFI listening/watching part 2 now. I genuinely enjoyed both of these and loved getting the spouses interactions. We designed a retirement home over the past year but then 2022 interest rates and cost of materials has then pushed off the build of our 'forever' home. Not sure if it is a perfect design but may end up refining it now that it is being put off.

[@TwoSidesOfFI]

@@Scott-sm9nm Thanks! So glad you have liked these. We're both keen on getting our spouses back on the show when they are up for it. Best wishes to you on your home and in all things.

[@livingtheslolife]

What brewery do you work at, Lorri? Firestone? My daughter went to Cal Poly and I LOVE their brews.

[@rayanderson3164]

What if your both ready to go but it still makes a lot of sense to work 3 more years for employer paid (80/20) medical insurance and being able to access your 401K by leaving or retiring at or after 55? It is frustrating to be at FI and still see the merit of working a few more years to get good retiree medical coverage at 55 not to mention a bigger pension. Great channel by the way.

[@TwoSidesOfFI]

These are valid questions, Ray. Sometimes it makes good sense to work one or more years past FI before retiring. Retiree medical + a bigger pension sound like great reasons to me. Is there an opportunity to shift into a new role, or perhaps a reduced schedule? These aren't always possible, but worth exploring if they are. For example, I stayed at the same company post-FI but moved into a role that was far less stressful, had less travel, and better work-life balance overall.

[@rayanderson3164]

Not possible for my line of work but thank you for putting the questions forward. Both your candor and insights are greatly appreciated. I think sometimes one just wants to hear someone who has walked away provide a new perspective on the problem. Thank you.