Tara Brach: Sheltering in Love, Part V - Loneliness as a Portal to Sacred Presence (Part 1 of 2)

[@RedwoodEden]

A wonderful teaching and exactly what I needed to hear this morning as I prepare for work. I have struggled with a sense of loneliness and separation my entire life and have made many life mistakes as a result of trying to distract myself from that sense. Now, in my late 50’s I am working on or trying to lean into it, but I still find resistance. Listening to your talks really helps and provides a balm for my soul I am unable to provide for myself at this time. Thank you for your generous offerings and for providing this space. I will continue to do the hard work, by allowing my loneliness to cut me deeply. 🙏 ❤️

[@karenlenk1724]

Thank for for your wisfom. Loneliness is such sn epidemic in the world today esp after covid. If I had family close by would help. I also lost both my pets a few months ago. I didn't realize how much comfort and companionship they gave me. I'm not adopting again.

[@yogawithsaba]

SELF-LOVE SELF-LOVE SELF-LOVE SELF-LOVE SELF-LOVE SELF-LOVE SELF-LOVE (say these words instead of "loneliness"). Remind yourself of your divine nature, tell yourself how loved you're by mother Earth, by the Creator, how beautiful you are (like a flower, which is pure beauty, without needing to be recognized or complimented), how far you've come in life and the moments that made you feel alive. You got this! I believe in you. I love you. Do you love you?

[@yfoog]

Thank you

[@feelthatshift]

Oh this is the ancient practice of gaslighting, right? ;-)

[@Relax-ck5ti]

Every week I am think this is the best talk and share it with friends, then another talk /practice happens and then becomes the best talk. You are so on target. Deep heartfelt gratitude

[@Agoateeman]

So awesome to hear your voice and listen to your wisdom. Thank you for taking the time out of your life to create these videos and share them with the world. Many of us need to hear these messages again and again. I certainly do.

[@lynnemanning9553]

Tara, I love your talks but this one really hit to the bone! 1 in 7 lives alone?! That sounded so lonely, and that's me! All your stats about people that live alone and all the reasons why, it was very depressing for us that live alone!! 😝 No, we are not guilty of something because we live alone and I know I have been running away from living on my own my whole life, even though I've done it from time to time throughout my life. I've started relationships just to not be alone, but who hasn't?! ....BUT NOW, I dare say that I am more conscious and aware, so really, I think it hurts more to be on my own, kind of living on the edge more, feeling the pain.... HAVING SAID THAT, there are many times of contentment and calm, and I really feel that too! It has really taught me so much, and TRULY, HOW CAN ANYONE LEARN ABOUT LIFE, until they have lived alone. It should be mandatory for everyone! There's a lot of lessons to be learned, and a lot of positive as well.......AND! there's this too... I'm learning big time right now, no one to joke around with, no one to share my sadness with, no one to hug me, it's very hardcore! I'm not sure I will ever feel comfortable with it. I have to do it now, I have no choice, and really, being on my own was for self-growth. I could have gone out and had another relationship, but purposely have not done that yet! Maybe I'll actually be a better partner next time, I think I will.....But, I might not ever have another partner again, and I've had to come to grips with that, I'm 63, but a very young 63....we all have a cross to bear, and this is mine for now, and I'm learning, and sometimes I cry too. Also, so many people don't want to be alone and they will do anything to keep from doing just that, some are in dysfunctional relationships because people don't want to be alone....been there, done that. I would much rather be alone than stay in a mediocre or dysfunctional relationship, so that's a victory and healthy.

[@antheakaranasos2047]

Hi Lynn … I very much agree. After ending a 30 year marriage that I stayed in at least a decade past it’s ‘best by’ date out of fear of being alone, I have lived alone now for nearly 10 years. I continue to explore connections & community through things I love like art, music, dance, college classes, etc. Still, that’s not the same & doesn’t fill the need for deep companionship with a trusted, loving other. There’s nothing I would hope for more than to meet that loving other & live together, grow & learn together, laugh & explore together. But not at the cost of doing so out of desperation to not live alone. Even so, it is still lonely, even with my friends & affinity groups. When the pandemic arrived & everyone began experiencing separation, loss of community, & deep loneliness, I finally began to feel somewhat *seen* in my own struggles with loneliness. Worldwide headlines were awash with news & stats on the epidemic of loneliness & its impact on health. Meditations & podcasts on loneliness & mental health sprouted into an industry overnight. I felt as if I was ahead of the game, having had 5 years of solitary living to practice before the pandemic arrived. We were all in a SIMILAR boat at last - although some lived *isolated* with family members & pets which, is why I say a SIMILAR boat. Living totally alone before, during, & after the pandemic is a different space altogether. Now that the pandemic is over, the desire to offer support to those lonely people via podcasts, talks, & meditations - especially for those of us living alone - seems to have evaporated like morning mist. I continue to feel deeply & to be open to my loneliness, & also to be open to the prospect of meeting a loving, conscious partner to live with someday. Choosing to end this solitary living situation out of desperation by settling for just anyone isn’t an option for me. I can work with & feel my loneliness by choice. But I refuse to be in a relationship that isn’t a good fit ever again. Meanwhile, I wish some of the supports would return - the talks, the meditations, etc. - to guide & sustain us through this dark & lonely valley. Peace to you, Lynn, & all of us! Anthea 🌿💜🌿 PS - I’m 67, healthy, & vital, for which I’m so grateful! Some of the lonely ones out there struggle with their health as well, which I know would be immensely more difficult.

[@lynnemanning9553]

@@antheakaranasos2047 Anthea, thank you so much for such a heart felt letter! We are sisters that share a connection! It is huge to be on your own and responsible for your emotional, physical, and spiritual health (financial too) , and every little thing in between! BUT!! I wouldn't have wanted it any other way! I have learned so much, and it is such an honest way for one to live, because you have to be there for yourself!! And I guess, that's how I truly learned that....I did need some practice with being more gentle, loving, and accepting with myself....And if you don't do that for yourself when you are alone, and it is so crucial when on your own, that you won't be able to keep living alone, unless you are healthfully supporting yourself. When you whole heartedly accept your situation, you don't want to get out of it just for an impulsive urning to be with someone, you are striving even more to be authentic to who you are, and then if something arises with someone else, you will be even more authentic and ready for the right person, and have a better sense of what person looks and sounds right for you...! . And, I'm not looking for someone, I am very happy with my life in this moment, but if the situation arises, that I have a chance to start a friendship, then that would be nice, but I don't base my life on having a partner. Also, I am more compassionate now, I'm not so focused on me. There are so many capacities in which we have friends, so I'm doing a lot of exploring with those..... Anyway, really appreciate your thoughtful words!! 💙💙💙 Sending warm wishes 💟☮☯🕉

[@antheakaranasos2047]

@@lynnemanning9553 Hello Lynn, and thanks so much for taking time to reply! We are indeed sisters who share a connection. I appreciate your encouraging words and am happy to hear that you're able to explore with your friends. That's so important! Wishing you well ... 🕊💜🕊

[@Le_Brick420]

Mrs Brach, Thank you as you are like an oracle for insight into ones life. Be well.

[@bethb7965]

Feeling lonely but not embarrassed by it. It just IS.

[@bethb7965]

Meant to say not ashamed by it..

[@yfoog]

I let it cut me more deeply. And I felt the beloved. Thank you ever so deeply Tara, ever so.

[@kristenharper963]

Sharing your peace, love, and light with so many in recovery from addiction. Thank you Tara! "We are friends." Namaste dear one.

[@yogablossom100]

What a beautiful gift! Thank you! 💗

[@catherineanderson77]

We are friends! In love and light! With deep gratitude! namaste

[@noonespecial4171]

I had a dream last night, after a recent emotional purging, of Tara coming to me and being a comfort in person, bless you Tara 🙏

[@smroog]

Again, So much WISDOM in your words, so much LOVE in your heart. Thank you for REALLY making a difference. Love T

[@pontusbladh2529]

Namaste and thank you for sharing words of compassion dear Tara beloved soul and light being🙏🏻❤️🌍🌞✨😇 Pontus

[@danielasonksen4475]

thank you thank you thank you Tara

[@mrobillard7553]

Thank you for this today, and for your friendship and partnership over the years. You are so strong and powerful, and so beautiful! From Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. 🔔💗

[@gary1251]

Hilo Hawaii sends max mucho mahalos to Tara & her film crew. Her softness, her empathy and her vulnerability is BEAUTY.

[@juliehooper1360]

Oh Tara thank you so much for sharing your heart and soul and guiding me towards loving all parts of myself. You remind me that we are really not alone. Hari Om

[@nigeljohnk]

Beautiful meditation, thank you Tara. Greetings from France.

[@JC-bi9nk]

So glad to hear you speaking, in depth about such an important subject. So needed right now. Your truth & honesty is very helpful.

[@kimgordon3695]

Flash forward 4 mos. No end ...

[@richardedward123]

We are friends. Much kindness from San Antonio, Texas.

[@ApprehensiveWitch]

Another San Antonian here :)

[@mmwolf10]

Satoshi Chomsky here south of SA

[@annemarriott295]

Friendship across the sea from Australia

[@mvann5]

Yes, this is so me. Isolated by loss before pandemic, worse now. Thank you and so wish had soulmate at this time. Well, guess I have you. Namaste.

[@edwizard62]

You are so beautiful. I love to hear you speak.

[@gurjeetbara7192]

It was great when you said the Earth is our mother who holds us all in her lap! It reminds me that in the sacred Sikh scriptures it says: "Air is the Guru, Water is the Father, and Earth is the Great Mother of all. Day and night are the two nurses, is whose lap all the world is at play." (near the end of the Japji Sahib poem)

[@galinalewis8947]

Thank you for your beautiful kind, caring and honest words and for the love you offer all of us...... I am deeply moved by it.

[@claudiaknowles2119]

I’m so thankful for you

[@hughiedavies6069]

Thank you for being so kind and helpful 🙂🌈

[@DanaRN333]

Thank you for your guidance

[@NC-xl9dw]

Thank you so much, Tara. You know exactly what I need at this time. I love your stories, your quotes and poems, your wisdom, your smile and calm presence. Namaste

[@matthewmasur6749]

Glad to be here, thank you for what you do!

[@estherlaseur6794]

thank you so much

[@bugsea54]

Namaste from Michigan!

[@oliveb2o]

Thank you!

[@jamesconnolly5197]

So grateful for this. Thank you for helping me get in touch with my feelings

[@fundeadwarrior]

Amazing as always, thanks Tara!

[@lauralunaazul]

Gracias Tara, you are my Angel 😍

[@delysiacowley8640]

Thank you Tara,Lock down and self isolation a lonely space to inhabit but not for long, good night my friend from Cape Town

[@tarawhite4419]

Glad I'm not lonely

[@aliciavelazco3852]

Tara please subtitulado en español 👏

[@Nell631]

Thank y💖u

[@mkssounds]

Thank you Tara 🙏 thank you for all you do 😊🙏🤗👏

[@christianehauptdo.7417]

Danke from Germany 🙏🏼 Iam so grateful, thank you Tara. Xxoo

[@lauralunaazul]

Argentina too! Love you Tara , thank you so much for your healing guide 💛

[@anamariaduque3302]

Perfect! Thank you...I think you helped me heal my most profund wound 💖 Blessings to you always ✨✨✨

[@evelynevandepoel1939]

Thank you Tara for this powerful video. I really needed this. ♡

[@urbansetter1]

Thank you for this. Loneliness and disconnection I feel occurs because of a poor connection from a primary care giver as a child. An overall feeling of less then that's stops us from reaching out and connecting to other people. Shame is a big force in loneliness. It is quite deep rooted and technology has made it worse. I agree with Carl Jung. The subconscious must become concious to achieve happiness and love. Self love is all.

[@lynnemanning9553]

Very well said, and I'm finding out that shame is part of the loneliness phenomenon....

[@lindaots8551]

Unfortunately, i have no aound on this video.... 😢

[@lucassevero7260]

starts at 5:00

[@begleygreen]

I I love you Tara your talks have been such a gift ❤️😘

[@boogaria554]

Kinds of conflicting messages. You started a the talk by saying how loneliness can cut short a person's life and then you read the poem about letting the loneliness cut deep. It's really conflicting. Also I did feel the beginning information of loneliness cutting one's life short is upsetting. Because when a person is lonely, like myself, it's not something that one can control. It's a process and it's best to sit & work with it. So I don't feel the beginning information was necessary and it was more upsetting that helpful. Just to let you know.

[@bethb7965]

I agree with you. I'm feeling lonely, living alone, hard to control as you said. Thank goodness for my cats... at least they give me comfort. Don't get much from elsewhere. I'm not normally one who feels lonely.....

[@suzzzer]

Hi Charli, I just wanted to add my perspective after just listening to this talk. I think the intent behind the talk beginning with that info was to highlight what happens when we ignore and cover over loneliness and other such emotional and mental states, and then the rest of the talk she offers ways to work with and through the loneliness. I think the title of the talk shows this, “loneliness as a portal to sacred presence,” assuring us that there is hope to deepen our sense of belonging through accessing, processing, and understanding the loneliness. Wishing you well :)

[@olias6162]

thank you so very much