Draw the BEST Graph | Full Task | Taskmaster

On a trip to the beach in series 5, the contestants attempt to draw the best graph.
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In this Broadcast Award-winning, BAFTA and Emmy Award-nominated entertainment show, Taskmaster tyrant Greg Davies (Man Down, Cuckoo), with the help of his loyal assistant Alex Horne (The Horne Section and the show’s creator), sets out to test the wiles, wit and wisdom of five hyper-competitive comedians.
Comedians that have risked life, limb, and dignity in the hope of making the Taskmaster proud so far include: Frank Skinner (The Frank Skinner Show), Mel Giedroyc (The Great British Bake Off), Romesh Ranganathan (Asian Provocateur), Hugh Dennis (Outnumbered), Sally Phillips (Bridget Jones’ Diary), Rose Matafeo (Edinburgh Comedy Award Winner 2018), and Russell Howard (The Russell Howard Hour). Unaware of what awaits them in each wax-sealed envelope, only one competitor can become the victorious owner of His Royal Task-ness’ golden head and be crowned the next Taskmaster Champion.

[@smeetsnoud1]

The piss graph never fails to break me, especially Bob's back story

[@cosmicjenny4508]

Bob’s shithousery skills are unmatched.

[@Mike_Dubayou]

Where have you seen this? First I'm seeing it, I thought this was a bonus clip, or just something that didn't make the final cut.

[@cosmicjenny4508]

@@Mike_Dubayou Episode 8!

[@conorreidcaldwell6094]

@@MichaelCoombes776 We do beg your pardon we are in your garden 🥴

[@mjowsey]

I really don't get Bob, never have

[@docwho9]

Nish: "You can't rush genius" Alex: "Hurry up" Nish: 😐

[@kyledeatherage7259]

“Not just [the pointlessness] of democracy, but of all human endeavor. But to be fair, if people are watching Taskmaster, they realize that already.” Mark is so underrated for this! 😂

[@Una_Ridlow]

Mark's honestly one of my favorites. He earnestly tries but he's also awkward as hell. He reminds me of my late uncle.

[@piyam5948]

That explosion of laughter as everyone suddenly accepts Bob is telling the truth is just the greatest. He never ceases to amaze

[@DomesticApe]

He's joking.

[@sadladder]

@@DomesticApe why would he joke about that, revenge on boat owners is very serious matter

[@xander1052]

@@DomesticApe with Mortimer, you literally can never be so sure.

[@tdarkhorse4]

@@DomesticApe think of all of james acaster's stories that are 100% real. bob mortimer easily falls in that line of 95% of what he says has happened to him in his life most likely has. with embellishments of course.

[@sheilaboston7051]

@@tdarkhorse4 I could never believe that anybody could do a filling on their own teeth, until Bob Mortimer!!

[@ledgretaris]

Greg's reaction to "fuck it. I'll fill his boat with piss" is one of my favourite bits in all of Taskmaster. It's like he finds it so funny his face doesn't know what to do.

[@TitoRigatoni]

"I've caved his skull in. With my arse." is a line I'll never forget

[@ballsups]

Good to see Bob's lifelong obsession with the gulfstream still going strong. Even if he does mean the jet stream.

[@matthtoob595]

There’s plenty of contenders, but this right here is Bob’s best taskmaster moment! The backstory👌🏼😂

[@arpitvasani]

Have you seen him on WILTY?

[@W4L3YT]

This is like a class homework and presentation. Only difference is, the teacher is not shushing the other students during Bob's presentation. And the longer it goes, the funnier it gets.

[@Demonboy362]

One thing I always remember about this series is Aisling Bea spending about half the time in the studio cryiing laughing at Bob Mortimer. Love them both

[@JRSmith06]

Bob's explanation for his graph is genuinely one of the funniest things ever broadcast.

[@TitoRigatoni]

You need to watch some of Bob's stories on Would I Lie To You

[@mister991]

I feel like this bit had one of the best lines about Sally being on Taskmaster - 4:51 onwards “This is the latest in a series of incidences with Sally where she’s made it very clear that she wants more sex in her life. And I think it’s a bit like fossil fuels and the ozone layer where, you know, the time for graphs has probably stopped and we should all huddle together and see what we’re gonna do about it”

[@StraightEdgeZap]

thats a lot of words by which greg really means "i will happily shag sally"

[@Mammutidae]

You have to wonder whether those two hooked up

[@cazzabojangles]

She may not have left with the trophy, but I have a feeling she didn't leave disappointed

[@seanoreiley48]

@@Mammutidae it does seem like Sally’s entire goal during this series was to try and tell the taskmaster to come do her.

[@iliketrains3495]

@@seanoreiley48 especially in the Episode 7 outtake - "I'm gonna come on to Sally in the minute" followed by Sally on her knees begging

[@MaxMckayful]

One of those task recaps where every single one of the contest interactions was a highlight moment unto itself. In a show full of great casts, this cast is right towards, or at, the top.

[@BMiren-bc6ye]

There are probably more clever (in problem solving) batches, but this cast I feel nailed all the creative tasks perfectly. My fave batch!

[@phant0]

Nish's graph actually says that you have fun before meeting him and the moment you're with him the amount of fun reaches zero.

[@DeclanCC]

It really fulfills the artistic symbology too, as Nish would then be about as much fun as stepping on a rake.

[@anileaatje]

It all depends on the direction of the axes, which is not drawn.

[@mashanishadi5911]

Its not actually. The graph is correct. You just have to flip it horizontally.

[@gyroofthyme]

Since positive/negative isn't indicated, you should assume the default: X is 0 where it intersects the Y-axis, and is negative going to the left. So really his graph says that the more time you spend with him, the more 'negative' fun (misery) you experience. If you spend 0 time with him, you're at 0 on the fun scale, or what I would assume is your neutral fun vs. misery state.

[@cortexavery1324]

do you misunderstand nish graph just cause it's right to left instead of left to right ?

[@beatricemadeleinecadrin7829]

Taskmaster, with a WILTY-worthy Bob Mortimer story thrown in...it doesn't get better than this.

[@dannyearley2687]

I honestly didn’t think this task would be very entertaining and then it somehow managed to become one of my favorite in the whole series

[@FH-hu5vn]

”Fuck it, I’ll fill his boat with piss.” Remind me not to anger Bob.

[@avatr7109]

Sally philips is the horniest contestant and she is so open about it

[@datguiser]

There needs to be a compilation of Sally being the horniest contestant on taskmaster

[@TaskmasterMN]

"Oh they literally cannae stop" is the greatest Bob Mortimer line from all of Taskmaster

[@XIIIMPC]

I marginally prefer "e.g., for household use."

[@iliketrains3495]

“Do we strike you?”

[@iamdb1990]

the high anus story is the greatest thing in Taskmaster

[@MagicSwagget12]

Idk there are multiple contenders

[@asheikh668]

“I’m just fed up “ is up there

[@47Jaspers]

00:34 Fish pun

[@WomanChild]

Nish's graph is an underrated genius.

[@niwempleh]

Except it's backwards! Surprised that was not brought up.

[@Exayevie]

Fun decreases over time with Nish though? 😂

[@kalamaja]

Underrated? It got 5 points.

[@WomanChild]

​@@kalamaja I meant underrated amongst fans. You know, all those people who aren't Greg? I admire your conviction to only considering the opinion of the Taskmaster, however.

[@thelionofgod]

@@niwempleh Both backwards and with the axes the wrong way around.

[@eew12]

Sally deserved better. Top notch graph.

[@-lyvenx3648]

7:54 bloody gulf stream strikes back

[@Drave_Jr.]

I understand the porpoise pun.

[@GNVS300]

Great feel-good moment of Nish scoring a rare win in a task.

[@Elldeeve]

The woolwich ferry story is genuinely the best thing I have heard

[@mikepictor]

Not gonna lie, Sally almost made get out of my chair, and I was only watching.

[@albro666]

English please

[@alexread6767]

@@albro666 (almost made me get out)

[@pedxing]

Nish falling here listening to Bob apart strikes me with a golden and glorious resonant chord.

[@jBownz]

Another example of Bob Mortimer making anything funnier. great show. great task. great "contestants". but it's Bob's ridiculous story that makes this one of the funniest tasks ever.

[@trumanhopper2493]

I think this task has the most 'laugh out loud' moments of any of the tasks posted on their YT channel in a while 😆

[@goliath_red1102]

“You can’t rush genius” -Nish Kumar 2017

[@craigwells3655]

Sally with Ashling with Bob, fantastic odd humour.

[@hurricanecurls]

I think we can all agree: Nish.

[@iliketrains3495]

Sally sitting on the mannequin's head was the least surprising moment of this whole task lol

[@maddog2314]

So independent variables are on the x axis and dependent variables are on the y axis. So the more fun you have, the less time with Nish you spend (even though the graph is flipped horizontally). So Nish just teleports to whoever isn't having fun.

[@a1344]

i was looking for this comment. time should be on x-axis

[@squaremore2056]

Their water is so delicious

[@rachelcookie321]

What?

[@cazzabojangles]

@@rachelcookie321 I only stopped for the one Scotch pie before the stream started again

[@davegesell5470]

Alex Horne: May I ask what units we're talking about? Bob Mortimer: Units of piss.

[@RyanFox85]

1:08 LMFAOOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I caved the skull in with my ass 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 god i love this show

[@airbmacndeehoc]

Sally created a chart “making it clear she wants more sex in her life”… but she started the episode literally sitting on a face. 😏🤭

[@millardfillmore241]

No one makes me laugh harder that Bob but no one's laugh makes me laugh harder than Nish

[@najtrows]

Bob is just killing them and it's so wonderful

[@Jojjo450]

i'm a simple person, if i see bob mortimer in a youtube thumbnail, i press play

[@-Mr-Frost-]

1:09 oh my god I wish that was me

[@FiXato]

Bob's wee graph was great ;)

[@glynn5455]

Nish's graph goes into the negative so actually it shows 'More time with Nish' equals less 'fun' Shame no-one spotted it on the show. I can always forgive him though because.... hey, look at that tree..... I'm a big fan of The Diverse Stripes

[@cortexavery1324]

do you misunderstand nish graph just cause it's right to left instead of left to right ?

[@LC-le9ew]

I’d have to draw Jonathan Groff, i think! 😂 He’s may favorite Groff, after all.

[@TheRobdog1990]

Seeing the whole cast aaand Greg doubled over at Bob's piss graph is my S5 highlight. He knows what he is doing when he turns to Aisling and chirps "...Gallons of Piss."

[@iamdb1990]

yes, piss wasn't censored, I get the reason for it, but it's so much better without censoring

[@elias3026]

I love Bob so much... I'm laughing so hard

[@Alex632]

Did anyone else notice the show constantly turning down Marks mic volume when it was other contestants turn to speak? Lol

[@mloxard]

I love how there were people on the beach with Nish. I would love to see Taskmaster irl :D

[@Malzagi]

"What a life we have."

[@MyNameIsNeutron]

Greg: This isn't a London-centric show, you can say "graff." Alex: I have said "grahf." underrated moment

[@Purzius]

such a fun group of people ^^

[@PSPDDH]

The graph growing in the -X axis implies you have less fun the longer you spend time with Nish

[@leonardoantonio216]

And that's why Series 5 only had 8 episodes, any more and the fun factor would have gone in to the negatives

[@tracy9610]

You read it from the 0/0 point. Right to left.

[@cortexavery1324]

do you misunderstand nish graph just cause it's right to left instead of left to right ?

[@adeliabarnwell8621]

Bob Mortimer is the funniest man alive.

[@RelictoDeo]

Not on porpoise, I caught the fish pun! lol

[@mushmello526]

Poor Alex. Accidentally dropped the task 5 times in a row

[@givrally7634]

It's very sad that Romesh the math teacher wasn't there for that one

[@QIKUGAMES-QIKU]

2 noodles on a Right Angle in 2 Seconds FINISHED.

[@Zacht1980]

0:37 - You are outside. It fell on the ground.

[@chryno9600]

Only true Task Master fans will recognise the porpoise joke

[@lredpath]

This episode is up there with the one where Rob Beckett forwarded rolled through gooses sh_t 😂

[@bexsta9175]

I love Nish's laugh 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣

[@user-jq3hr7wl6o]

Series 5 was beautifully psychotic. Sally Phillips was just, er, hello! Gorgeous. Aisling Bea just amazing. Nish losing it at Bob's harvesting of piss. Sensational.

[@theloverlyladylo9158]

“I think we can all agree: Nish” is my fav quote from this task. And yes, I can agree Nish.

[@Bobby.Kristensen]

I find it very disturbing that they didn't have time on the X-axis.

[@heppolo]

Sally did

[@isabellaearnhardt6380]

I loved that

[@SquishyBauBau]

Watching this so much that I decided to watch Inbetweeners again because of Greg.

[@CerealNMilkk]

Would like this more if series 10 didn't vanish off youtube last week.

[@Soturi92]

5:48 I died multiple times

[@EnoVarma]

I just realized something: at 2:44 it's Sally from Peanuts letting go of the beach ball.

[@darkos365476574]

The funniest part about Nishs graf is the fact that the x value is inversed, so the less time you spend with Nish the more fun you have.

[@conorreidcaldwell6094]

Fucking Love Taskmaster 🤙🏻😂

[@melsbov]

Why is the danish taskmaster deleted? We started watching it yesterday and now they're gone

[@RyanFox85]

Omg Bobs graph and interview im fucking dying ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kobirelf97]

The Joys of living in East Sussex 😂😂😂

[@Whisdom]

id give her a go

[@scurvydog20]

Should we tell nish that graphs are left to right. Which makes it accurate.

[@TaskmasterMN]

I've always wondered if other people in the studio noticed that and just didn't say anything because it's Nish

[@horrorfan7148]

He may have thought the camera was going to be the other side. Although he didn't know it at the time the other graphs were from the opposite side

[@iamdb1990]

it was established early on that Nish was terrible, so I think it was a "let's just humour him" attitude for the series lol

[@iliketrains3495]

@@iamdb1990 I think they were trying to get him to win the episode, and he would have done if he didn't fail the live task straightaway. Although it never stated you had to stick to graph traditions...

[@MrSimpsondennis]

Best Graph: a Time-Profit graph, with Infinite Profit at 0 time. Easy win :p

[@threeglassjars6051]

Everyone is talking about how nish's graph is wrong, but im pretty sure that on most graphs time is always shown on the bottom scale, so if you rotate the graph 90° so that time is at the bottom, it actually lines up correctly!

[@PostModernTruth]

They are at Frensham Ponds!

[@Qs_Channel]

Question does task master still air??? I live in canada

[@ledgretaris]

Yes. They're between series just now. Series 13 finished about a month ago and series 14 will be in a couple of months.

[@ursulageorgeson7086]

If I see Bob mortimer in any given thumbnail, I click.

[@paulcook7426]

Time should have started when they were given the metal detector. Would have been a wonderful wind-up.

[@imachamp68]

I wish i was that mannequins head at the start

[@cazzabojangles]

Ah, yes. Nish.

[@Lolilillisjdjdhddj]

Is that minna from veep?

[@E-MAN979]

4:43 I can’t see how she could possibly be having any trouble 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@user-db2uk8iq9r]

Everyone would rail Sally endlessly.

[@danpoat6180]

isn't nish's fun graph going into the negative?

[@jabbathehut1871]

5:39

[@georgiegan]

If it was anyone else, we would immediately know it is bullshit. But coming from Bob Mortimer, with his stories from "Would i lie to you?", it almost seems like his statistics on piss generation is true.

[@hungryhedgehog4201]

since when does % mean infinity

[@dubious6718]

Should have put Alex at the bottom of the graph and Craig on top... instant 5 points.

[@jonhohensee3258]

I think Bob should have won.

[@lcbyri]

wow im quite early this time

[@ALEXANDER1318]

Most of them didn't even draw anything. They just threw assorted items into the sand.

[@druid_zephyrus]

So many very easy and perfectly accurate graphs to draw. y=x^2 y=x x=x y=y Hell, even a single point like (1,1) can be graphed. But the very best one would have been a step graph of the periods of time where graphing is used outside school. With a single step marked as "This Task".

[@AaronWGaming]

Best Graph... Why does this give me the idea to compare Task master's Age with his Handsomeness... Starting about at 50% and going to Infinity... I mean sucking up does tend to score high...