Taylor Lautner Needs a Job | TMG - Episode 314

Bonus Episodes & Ad Free Episodes: bit.ly/44itUDU
Cody and Noel react to Taylor Lautner’s recent backflip performance and the woman who ate 48 oysters on a first date. Plus, they discuss a $39,000 fossilized turd, some current wellness trends and invent some new ones.
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Hosted by Cody Ko & Noel Miller, Created by TMG Studios, Cody Ko & Noel Miller, and Produced by TMG Studios, Cody Ko & Noel Miller.
Chapters:
0:00 Still Waking Up
1:35 Intro
2:42 The Taylor Lautner Backflip
10:17 Lautner in Taylor Swift’s Music Video
12:06 DoorDash
13:44 Sharkboy Choreo
17:07 Cody’s Splits
19:22 Noel’s VIOLENT Dream
20:31 NOEL’S COMEDY SPECIAL
22:57 Drunk News Host Promo
25:05 Audible
26:51 Comedy Special Comments & Clips
28:52 Optimal Morning Routine
30:41 Non-Sleep Deep Rest
34:54 Inventing Optimal Living Habits
38:54 BetterHelp
40:17 Rebranding Men’s Health
42:08 Cold Plunges vs Coke
44:04 Optimal Routine Privillage
46:08 The New Lil Texas Drop
49:09 The Largest Fossilized Poop
54:14 Cody Throws Up
56:37 The Challenge
58:24 The Beckham Documentary
1:01:42 STILL Gross
1:02:54 48 Oysters Tiktok
1:09:19 We Got in Trouble… BYE!

[@rareyuki2]

Glad someone gave Cody permission to have a good time on this one!

[@viagraREAL]

Who let him have fun?

[@rareyuki2]

@@viagraREAL idk but someone clearly did

[@Venusultraplanet8]

I’m glad someone let him wear those pants !!

[@papamilfz1565]

He’s too old for fun imo 😒

[@shwetsharma861]

But seriously, who let him have fun?

[@tylergreiner9014]

tired noel just being constantly outta pocket is fucking hilarious

[@whatev2453]

peak nole performance right there

[@arch1vst]

Overly enthusiastic and unnecessarily energized cody and tired idgaf noel is a great combo they were both extra funny here

[@whatintheworld7624]

Cody has a special talent of making mediocre jokes hilarious... his delivery can make anything he says entertaining lmao.

[@KylETISZAI]

Yep. Me too!

[@dwizz4391]

💀 I’m dead what a backhanded compliment

[@whatintheworld7624]

haha I didn't really mean to be backhanded I just had the thought that if most people said some of those jokes it wouldn't come out as funny. lmao @@dwizz4391

[@believeinmatter]

If they’re “hilarious” jokes, doesn’t that make them the opposite of mediocre? Your comment doesn’t make any sense

[@whatintheworld7624]

It's his delivery that makes it hilarious... did you read the full comment?@@believeinmatter

[@alexandrajimenez6115]

4:24 the way he stays curled up after the attempt has me crying

[@rcole7274]

Cody Yamcha'd himself

[@MLSwann]

Imncryiny

[@DizzyEyes94]

How does this dude manage to fall without even leaving the ground 😂

[@LionMouse23]

They made it 40 minutes without talking about gambling, this might be a new record.

[@aamanda]

i love seeing the boys getting giggled out

[@GratefulnessRuns]

Hell yeah

[@SydOclock]

Cody immediately pointing and laughing at the Taylor video after absolutely eating shit KILLED ME

[@MadelynBo]

Cody is like Ted Lasso in real life. A little corny with the jokes, always very chipper, and genuinely the most likable man on the planet.

[@fins6191]

Words have meaning kid. Genuinely actually has a solid definition. Use words correctly.

[@queef_coreee522]

@@fins6191this ain’t English class☝️💀

[@hunterhawkins8754]

they also look alike

[@mandymaurier5084]

@@fins6191chill

[@RyanCrochets]

@@fins6191that’s obviously subjective. if you’re so smart youd know that lmfao

[@DizzyEyes94]

That hard close up on Noel after Cody hit the floor is the greatest expression I have ever seen him make

[@leighallison16]

As a prior Team Jacob girl, I can confirm that Taylor actually got into acting because of his martial arts coach. My brain also seems to say that the coach was a power ranger, probably a fact.

[@M.TTT.]

Team Edward, at least he's a real actor and a sigma male

[@andreajoan7193]

Even if your brain is mis-remembering, I choose to believe it. Power rangers martial arts coach to Taylor Lautner is now officially canon.

[@InspectahReese]

I’m team Shark-Boy

[@sharonmiller7213]

Your brain. I genuinely stan.

[@RyanCrochets]

that alpha beta sigma shit is so fucking funny, stop stressing over who’s better then who it doesn’t matter lmao

[@clareperkins304]

Get Taylor on the pod, since he has his own

[@InspectahReese]

Taylor and Andrew Huberman at the same time

[@youyeedyourlasthaw]

they totally could lol, they get more views than he does

[@outfitrepeater9878]

if I had to work through my childhood I’d be jobless doing backflips too tbh

[@Nova3482]

This was the funniest tmg episode in a while we need noel to be awoken early for every episode now

[@arch1vst]

and cody too he is truly a morning person

[@hamishmatthews21]

the drunks news bit had my DYINGGG

[@jackandjillif]

Glad that Cody is sticking it to the system by breaking his state mandated no-fun-having probation ✊🏽 every rebellion counts!

[@TERRORdrigo]

why is this joke crossing over to tmg lol

[@jackandjillif]

@JohnCharlesBodoque joke? You think the systemic deprivation of fun by the Man is a joke? No humanity

[@tjdream662]

54:38 Cody making himself throw up while Noel is dying is the funniest shit ever

[@bananaduck14]

4:24 it would be so funny if it jump cuts to noel with a new cohost and for the rest of the podcast they act like nothing changed

[@iitstre_4550]

dude that wouldve been GREAT!

[@johnsbanana9852]

this has me weak LMAO BRO

[@AlisonChains13]

Cody's failed front summersault thing made me cry laughing holy shit

[@bzb333]

Lautner having 4/4 hips is craaazy

[@Sainte-adresse]

what does this mean? lmao he kept saying it and I was so confused

[@fucjk2141]

@@Sainte-adresseits a music thing called a time signature its the way you count notes in a measure (really bad explanation lol but thats the gist of it) So like 4/4 means theres four beats in a measure which is a section of a song

[@Redcollar123]

@@fucjk21414/4 means there are 4 beats in a measure, hence the 4 lmao

[@fucjk2141]

@@Redcollar123 i meant four i dont know why on earth i typed three

[@iitstre_4550]

We're 300 episodes deep... The boys have made splits related jokes probably 80 times, and it gets funnier every time! Seeing Cody attempt that kip-up and fail miserably, only to follow it with ridiculous situations to do the splits made this a 100/10 episode bruh.

[@emjo5644]

they glossed over “born in the wrong era” way too fast that was solid

[@joshentertainment2]

They have many good jokes

[@max-et5vp]

the part with cody gagging and noel having the time of his life has me crying

[@slammburger69]

The part where cody was gagging while still making jokes about the turd had me dying 😂

[@beansbreak]

Cody having fun finally got put back in the script

[@tootharcade]

when cody fell why did he look like family guy character when they’re dead 4:24

[@StrawberryMoon4444]

Better help allegedly broke its privacy promises with customers and share their personal health information to Facebook, Snapchat, and other third-party Advertising platforms. Two class action lawsuits have been filed against better help. DO NOT USE THEM

[@deception1465]

Literally every company does that bro it's 2023 we know our information gets sold too everyone

[@Binstabih]

I agree that it’s bad but it’s so cheap and some people need any listening ear, even if theres a bit of a cost

[@dabbopabblo]

Yeah and, what company doesn't?

[@moglaude]

Right it's common, but these is a company that provides spychiatrits appointments. I guess I care a bit more about this company rules on privacy than any other service that sells shit. People knowing what you eat or how you date is a little different than people knowing you deapest shit. And for some it's the only access to therapy. Poster is right.

[@Maureeea]

@@deception1465they’ve also been caught in the past using your information on other “online therapy” sites as professional counselors as well as not requiring their therapists to be licensed on their own platform

[@randomman7447]

Did Noel accidentally reveal that he isn’t full white? One step closer to finding his race…

[@justindono]

He's half Mexican half italian (white) I stg

[@viagraREAL]

@@justindononah he’s half Filipino half white I believe he accidentally confirmed it on an early insanely chill. Not to mention when a guest asked if he was he said “I don’t wanna say” while to the other races asked he goes “nope” Also Italians are white man

[@justindono]

@@viagraREALshiii fr okay I'll have to find that episode

[@crashh-course]

there is no fully white man with his tasteful attractiveness. he's got that ethnic rizz. 🤷🏿

[@jandipopo_art2012]

we know he's half something, on the mother side i assume.

[@binator]

this was a nice throwback to the Dre Drexler era of noel and cody 😭

[@AB-rx1lp]

“….what a horrible thought.” LMFAOOO they’re literally opposites of each other

[@madddie.]

4:23 THE FAMILY GUY FALL LMFAO

[@tiffanyb543]

Cody uncontrollably gagging never fails to make me laugh😂

[@mazxsanz17]

i play the pods while getting ready to go to work and i can confirm i both sound and look like noel at the beginning of this episode

[@NickWebsUS]

52:00 "The turd is scared" had me laughing for the rest of the segment LOL

[@arsey1833]

Holy shit thisis the funniest episode in the last few weeks!!! something about sleep deprived noel is so funny i cant put my finger on it

[@Yoxyaceooo]

Interesting how the episodes where Noel is sleep deprived and Cody is mid panic attack are the best ones... what I'm getting from this is that they should take less care of themselves

[@lemonysnicket9460]

The drunk news anchor bit was 10/10

[@darklordsteph]

wow i loved when noel said that one thing!

[@imnicolevilla]

The best part is that the woman tracking him, is his wife…named Taylor lol

[@gamb]

as someone majoring in neuroscience watching y’all make fun of Huberman is so funny 😭😭

[@sonjagonikman426]

I’m a med student and every time they takk about scientific stuff a piece of me dies but I also can’t help but cackle at their takes

[@pattasgames6066]

as a well respected graduate of the we don’t give a shit what you do major you both need to stfu.

[@RealElongatedMuskrat]

neuropsych grad here! As the above person said, part of my spirit trembles when anything medical comes up 😂

[@g0blin_sh4rk]

​@sonjagonikman426 im from the uk & every time they talk about anything to do with Europe it makes me die a little 🤣

[@piyush2465]

I feel like Noel and Cody meeting up with Riley and Graydon would create the funniest conversation in the world

[@kaitlyng3026]

need this

[@YungH00n]

Hivemind x TMG would be so fkn funny

[@slimmboog]

i feel like cody & noel were slick trying to out-flexible each other for a minute there

[@bethalicia]

The backflip into the avengers pose into the forward roll is just crazy

[@rokcomesaround]

As a TMG fan & Swiftie, this is not the topic I expected them to talk about but soooooo happy they did

[@kryptiTV]

This is such random info on Taylor Lautner but he was specially trained in staff work and then he did it more in sharkboy😭😭its like video of young him in competitions floating around on here lol

[@quetzalcoatlz]

What the fuck are you trying to say?

[@lolitamolita5354]

​@@quetzalcoatlzTranslation: Taylor Lautner has been doing Karate way before sharkboy and there are vids of it on youtube

[@julianmontesdeoca1420]

Bruh, Noel's drunk acting is oscars worthy.

[@ylopez9654]

4:24 it’s okay cody you tried😭😭😭

[@nattycharms]

this is my third time watching this episode, it’s so funny and becoming my top fave episode. From Noel coming in barely awake, to Cody dislocating his C3, and tmg participating n.a.p. is just top tier shit man

[@dwnxx4974]

The funniest cody and the most unhinged noel lmao

[@bigoof234]

i can’t with cody’s knee slap laughs lately

[@xx8140]

the milennial in me wants to scream that taylor lautner has been trained in martial arts since he was a child

[@naomi9449]

Cody trying that Kip up was me trying to get mine in high school 😂

[@gluehoof573]

Tight close-upping the guys whenever they said "dung" was a hilarious bit of editing. 😂🎉

[@kathrynanderson1387]

did NOT expect t lautner on this but i love it, LOVE U CODY

[@viagraREAL]

I love when they talk to long Ryan yells at them

[@mileslloyd3366]

"Shepherds Pie" had me in TEARS

[@prtty_reckless]

Noel and aleena both having weird dreams the same week😂

[@Tis1kay]

Omg talking about York and the coprolite found is so cool as a york archaeologist!

[@elizabethashley1436]

Finding out Noel watches the Challenge is the highlight of my day. Its arguably the best competition show out there.

[@jeebsa4m3]

The audio of Ep 313 was uploaded to Apple Music today with the title of this Ep

[@handleerror]

This is one of if not my favorite episode you guys have ever done

[@Jabari1937]

Drunken newscaster gotta be one of my favorite bits so far🤣🤣🤣

[@rachelkoiks]

Omg I keep coming back to replay Cody’s dislocation 😭 RN my sides hurt like it doesn’t get old idk why 🤣🤣😂🤣

[@nataliemoreno763]

Relatable to the sleeping and listening part. That’s what I was doing lol

[@M00T3N]

We need more of delirious Noel lmao.

[@inessant1559]

his smile and optimism: gone 1:09:17

[@vlsqu]

rewatching that was so funny

[@boing1oings]

what happened there lol

[@lilithgrave]

17:03 after noel said "he needs some girth to it" my first thought was "he needs some girth to his rod?" 😂😂

[@grayciereppart4091]

I am SO excited for Noel’s special !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@boombox789]

19:14 I feel like I'm reliving the bit when Noel was spread eagle

[@arielg7393]

4:23 IM CRYING ON THE FLOOR LMFAOOOOOOOOO?!?!?!?

[@rabateus]

this episode was fire… you should make Noel wake up more often

[@Cropod]

did not expect dubbin to get mentioned this ep. you love to see it

[@jshuff]

Why does Noel’s drunk voice just sound like Pete Davidson

[@lilianacardenas9241]

Y’all talking about lil Texas is the crossover I didn’t know I needed

[@djw8843]

wow noel is funny i wonder if hes ever considered standup

[@deception1465]

Yeah it's almost like he doesn't do that

[@svnsnt]

@@deception1465he probably should try it out. Maybe he could do a world tour or something

[@SadCatSad]

This guy could get a Netflix special someday !

[@InspectahReese]

I was thinking the same thing he is pretty good at improv so he might be good at crowd work if ever tried it

[@djaaronix]

he's a singer, the kid got a killer voice

[@mordecai2169]

4:24 the face noel makes has me genuinely crying

[@RandomTaemate]

Had to go 105 for the video to play in my head but man was that video funny

[@diegofernandez2810]

I’m so glad I waited to eat breakfast during the Viking poop part…

[@alexpage3330]

Great episode. I was dying at Cody making himself wretch whilst Noel giggling. Although as a Brit I can say that most of us love Becks over here

[@MJ-xz8mi]

The bosses getting yelled at the end lmaoooo like its not their podcast 😂

[@shawnvirdree4830]

Watching Taylor dance felt Like a fever dream😂😂😂

[@mbv22311]

the context is that he did go on stage w Taylor in one of the shows and did a backflip during the concert and prolly everyone was hyped he was there and he prolly ended up doing it for the fans but still lowkey insane to do it, the scene wasn't in the movie o.o

[@PenelopePenobskot]

Watching this intro at 4am getting up and around for the morning, knowing my man just laid down for bed 🤣🤣🤣

[@jopr0x]

So funny to see every episode them just learning how to better speed date eachother

[@gonzalezjessenia0]

That nap sounds like dissociation lol

[@rylietate]

the taylor lautner thing is even funnier when you realize that the song from the music video he’s in isn’t in the eras tour movie

[@rylietate]

(but in his defense: his wife is a huge swiftie and all 3 of them are friends)

[@daniluvsfrogs]

haven’t even started the video but giving it an automatic like for the title

[@KaneTaichou]

I do that same thing. I will be dead ass asleep, my girl will wake me up and im like nope im up. lol

[@cxltysbelrose]

Uptempo feels like when I’m tryna sleep and control my breathing but then the panic sets in drastically

[@trezyy]

the spongbob lil texas during the intro killed me

[@brianbarlog3482]

im happy someone else noticed this LMAO

[@BaNoodles999]

This was such a good episode

[@TheCastverse]

Bro it’s been out for 1 minute

[@Corgibear-]

@@TheCastversemans from the future

[@rareyuki2]

Literally lmfao bro must've watched it on 100x speed@@TheCastverse

[@dvno4431]

@@TheCastverseand yet we already know it was a good episode 👌

[@urmomlel]

hes from the future@@TheCastverse

[@maddiebroadstone]

Ok y’all need to watch the actual concert where he did this on stage in front of thousands 😭

[@xxx_ray]

one of the great episodes

[@memphiskash]

Lautner was dancing in compound meter😂😂😂 that's crazy

[@mladyisthename]

47:25 Fun fact , beat that is sped up super fast just turns into a pitch

[@HeyItsBea123]

I usually watch every episode but I absolutely clicked this video purely for the title bc I need to hear their take on this 😂😂😂

[@pangcakesandsyrup]

Taylor Lautner hit that dream dream dream dream dream dream

[@mariosdarby9329]

Started watching this on the bus back from school and finally got home hungry as fuck, got to heat up some leaftovers only to dig in once they start talking about fossilized shit.

[@rooroo3561]

Taylor Lautner started martial arts when he was 6 years old. He has a black belt in karate and was a junior world champion. Watch the movie “Abduction” 2011. Only movie I can think were he does several fight scenes.

[@samdanielak9981]

The 4/4 hips and 5/3? (Probably more like 6/8) at the same time is called a polyrhythm

[@sonjagonikman426]

Taylor is just a master of music theory

[@chedbath1091]

I actually saw the Viking turd this summer, it’s the only vaguely exciting thing about Jorvik Viking centre

[@slowlanegamer]

Damn I thought when Cody was like “Some people stay up till 4am, some people get up at 4am. Those people get married” …. I thought this was Cody finally letting us know that him and Noel would be getting married 🥳🤩. Lmao 🤣 Edit: is that actually the case? That getting in a cold plunge gets easier with a sauna or like heating yourself up before or after? …. Lol I’m concerned I feel like Cody is just going to have another panic attack or a heart attack going hot to cold like that 😂

[@mollago]

It's crazy how similar the PYSO segment sounds like the Better help ad that followed