Teaching Life Skills to My Autistic Son

My biggest fear as a parent is not knowing whether my child will ever be ok without me. In this video, I talk about how I’m preparing Dylan to live independently by teaching him important life skills.
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Video Producer:
Tiara Westlake www.kamukami.com/
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[@abbystephens5516]

I have high functioning Aspergers and my parents prepared me very well for life and I am very successful because of it

[@justtania333]

He has come so far, you are doing a great job! I'm from Australia and my son has level 3 ASD nonverbal. When I have a hard day I watch your videos and they remind me to stay strong and that everything's going to be ok even when it doesn't feel ok :) lots of love, stay safe xx

[@xxlalbatross3287]

How old your son? I wish you all the best.

[@justtania333]

@@xxlalbatross3287 he is 2 years old :)

[@xxlalbatross3287]

@@justtania333 Level 3, is it most mild or severe form of autism?

[@justtania333]

@@xxlalbatross3287 level 3 is on the severe side of the specrtum

[@xxlalbatross3287]

@@justtania333 I hope everything is going to be ok for you and son.

[@apeacefulplace7854]

My son is 13, 82lbs, on GTube, Low IQ, ADHD/Autism inattentive. I worry so much how he will get on without me. It's so scary. I'm so happy I decided to homeschool him and my other 5 kids. He is thriving and living his best life. Stay positive Mammas!

[@summerwine121]

I totally understand your concerns. I have only 1 because I am too scared of having another one. So he ll be on his own when we are gone. We want to homeschool him too. I hope your son, mine and all of our kids will find their ways after us 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾❤❤

[@sommersonne9466]

Wow that was so nice how you laughed when he threw the milk in. My patience is awful sometimes that i end up having a mini meltdown 😂 So much stuff gets destroyed in our home I really need to find a way to laugh the way you did.

[@ComingHometoAutism]

You have to laugh it makes things easier ... I try not to sweat the small stuff not always patient though 🥰 I keep trying snd always learning

[@digiscream]

Ahhhh, wow! I'm 44, and discovered that I'm autistic last year during lockdown, and seeing Dylan after he'd chucked the milk in the trolley and at the checkout...it's brought back memories from when I was his age that I haven't had for...decades! I was _exactly_ like that when I was a kid, and this has filled in a blank I didn't know I had. Thank you!

[@ComingHometoAutism]

❤️

[@digiscream]

@@ComingHometoAutism - for what it's worth, I used to do something similar to the "chuck it in the trolley" thing with heavy stuff when I was a kid. I wonder if it wasn't just a funny thing, but him finding a solution to a problem? He already knew that three small bottles was heavy (he struggled with them), so the speed could have been an active solution to not being able to hold both at the same time for very long. Solving the immediate problem and not necessarily considering the consequences of a heavy landing is, to my mind, a very autistic thing to do...I have many split shopping bags in my past to serve up as evidence of this. Of course, I could be over-thinking it too ;)

[@bartlebyberlinberlin275]

What a wonderful mother and son relationship. Tahnk you for your videos!

[@daniellepalao4089]

You're a great mom! Keep going! Dylan is awesome!

[@katarzynakupiniak5124]

You are doing absolutely amazing job! And thanks for reminding me that training on social skills is same important as other therapies. My son loves shopping:)

[@raphaeloffodile3793]

I watched your post several times, I just wanted to say yo are an amazing mom. Never seen someone so dedicated like you. My son is leading towards autism though not been diagnosed. God is your strength.

[@JD-id7cv]

Thank you for your videos, Tara! I would love a video on how you have couple time and finding time for yourself around your children? Thank you ❤️

[@kimfeldwicke3611]

Some amazing ideas. You are really inspiring x

[@jyoadithkm3259]

Wow love this idea, will try it with my son 🙏😀 thanks Tara!

[@ahorremosentodo2582]

I’m so happy that I found your channel ❤️ my 4 year old son recently was diagnosed and even though I kind of knew about him being autistic but when I heard his diagnosis from the doctor I cried for like two days just because I was worried about his future about me not being always there to protect him but now I feel so much better thank you for your videos currently watching them 💖 I love my boy & I accept his autism traits 😍 getting used to them now cause I know it’s comforting to him and working on my patience so that I can understand him even more and love him for his wonderful self

[@DarkAngel-cj6sx]

Just cried for two days? You are brave

[@filipeva]

Finally i had to time to see all the videos i missed! We are now (Nikolas will be 6 next month) trying to teach him some life skills..its sooo important! and it gives them sooo much confidence.. much love Tara to you and your beautiful family! hugs from Nikolas to Dylan :)

[@elsakarakatsani6709]

In one of your video I heard the best advice..."Don't do things for him/her, do things with him/her"...I remember that when I teach him wear his socks, his tshirt,...when he's afraid to climb the slide...yes maybe there are people that laugh of me...I don't care because I help him overcome his fears...the first, second time with me, the 3rd alone....

[@ComingHometoAutism]

❤️

[@sarahwhite1001]

Ohh can’t wait for the house tour 😍

[@HS-qe8km]

You are absolutely right...the what will happen to Summer when I’m not here keeps me awake at night xxx

[@Traceydiag]

It’s nice the see the journey and how far he’s come

[@ComingHometoAutism]

❤️

[@emmanaidoo1485]

I love your videos Tara, I always feel reassured when I watch them. I have recently been struggling with anxiety and your videos make me feel stronger, more positive too. Thank you for your support through your channel. You are wonderful parents. The children are very happy. Xx

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Thank you lovely sending you lots of strength and a big hug x

[@Sarah__H]

Great video, and such important skills. Love that he’s got his commission for book and videos!

[@ComingHometoAutism]

He gets more than me 🤣

[@eskatube3056]

Thank you for sharing and creating hope in my mind......from Africa Ethiopia.

[@love_yourself9813]

Tara I love your videos. Dylan is such a beautiful child and he’s come so far. I love watching videos when he was little and how he has learned and keeps learning so much. I messaged you about my 3 year old twins being diagnosed and you responded so quick and kind. Thank you for your videos. And thank you Dylan ❤️🤩

[@ComingHometoAutism]

❤️

[@skyemckee5014]

Good video continue on your road on getting that silver play button along with interviewing with Chris Ulmer of SBSK.

[@teresaheduan8715]

You are so right ✅👏🙌 comprehension always seems good 👍It is Jack's speech that is not good 😐 Do you ever wonder why these children are so handsome 😉💙

[@soonyabaldeo7171]

Continue the amazing job u do...💜💜💜

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Thank you x

[@nalrkmi3641]

I don’t even know how I came to yours channel but I believe it was fate I feel all emotional my son is 10 and autistic and when you said parents biggest fears with children with special needs is not being there for them it hit home hard your tips in this video we’re really handy and I will start to implement them thank you so much I will be looking at your other videos thank you

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Sending you a big hug x

[@carolinejohansson8609]

Loved to see Dyland at the beach 🙏🏻♥️

[@ComingHometoAutism]

❤️

[@maj1636]

Thank you so much for the video. Dylan is doing so well. Could you please make a video about the reading skill how did it go.

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Yes of course x

[@RPGKingdom64]

I loved this video, I think it’s so important to think about how parents/caters can support autistic children on their way to adulthood.

[@ComingHometoAutism]

So important thank you x

[@mymomandmeedward1407]

Eventually I’m not in the case but I can modify what u teach him to my son as well. I really love in every moment you share how to teach your children. Very appreciated 🥰

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Your welcome x

[@aneesahthequeen]

Yes it’s the biggest fear of a parent! Not being here for them! I get everything you’re applying I see the same in my daughter! Just wanna say thanks for sharing everything with us! You have a beautiful family!❤️😍❤️God bless you guys!!❤️💙

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Thank you so much for watching x

[@jessicasierra9313]

I am in the US and I think the idea of wearing a lanyard in the store is a great idea. I wish we had this where I am at. That would be helpful because I feel it can get a little stressful at times trying to teach my son how to grocery shop and communicate when the store has people looking at us because he is Stimming or being too loud and hyperactive:

[@lesnenka7611]

You're the best mummy💓🙏🦋

[@catherinehartley4941]

Hi, I would firstly like to say thank you for your videos; as a mother of an autistic child it good to know that we are not the only ones. I fully understand your reservation about secondary school. We are not quite there yet we live in the Netherlands and here they start middlebaar/secondary a year later. Although we would like her to go to a mainstream secondary school we can see even now (9years) it could well cause some issue which may cause her to crash/meltdown massively. In the Netherlands we there are middlebaar schools specifically for Autistic children. At the time we will consider both. Interestingly I have a conversation separately with 3 people who attended the specialist autistic school and they said it was better for them to go there because they would not have coped in a mainstream school, one transferred from a mainstream school, they also came out with the highest level qualifications. Top grade GCSE's. It is hard to know which way to go, I would say throw out all the preconceived ideas out and trust your instincts as a family. I totally agree with teaching life skills that is always our goal, we are currently teaching our daughter how to cook in 10 mins bit size chunks. If I do not do something exactly the same way the second time I am very clearly told about it. thanks Catherine

[@veronicaabila6542]

yes i like your show very much, because i have son like that, i remenber that before he is younger (super), but now he is 19 yrs. and studying ICT about computer he like thàt course, and thanks god hè is good now.

[@Kl-gz4ng]

Thank you for giving an idea

[@xxlalbatross3287]

You have great family. Greetings from Sweden.

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Thank you so much x

[@fionascheibel977]

If I can't find something in a shop I will often convince myself I can do without it even if it was the only thing I went into the shop for, rather than ask where it is. I can do useless small talk. But when I need something my communication is much harder to do.

[@ComingHometoAutism]

❤️

[@nickipeta]

Yeah as a autistic adult I tend to do that ! Feel that the less I need to talk to others the better 😕 Plus I go 40 minutes before they close to avoid people so I guess I don't have time to ask anyone any way 😊

[@patriciaseldin4585]

Thank you for inspiring videos

[@ComingHometoAutism]

❤️

[@heikehollas1828]

Great job 🎀🏆🙏💕

[@jenniferbatey3154]

I love watching him shop. I see a lot of my 6yo daughter in him. When he chunked the milk in the buggy (I’m from the south US 😊) cracked me up that is exactly what my little girl would do.

[@maryadair5697]

Exactly the way I've been thinking with my daughter. So much I do for her. 🤦

[@dollykhatun9167]

Hiya love ur blogs, any tips on taking Aurtistic children on camping. I’ve 2 on the spectrum they r 6yrs old. Please share holiday ideas on experience. Thank u❤️

[@foz2071]

What a lovely boy! Taking my 11-year-old to the supermarket is still very challenging. He is high functioning, knows where everything is and asks the people working there if he can't find anything. The problem is that he is extremely rigid. Last week he picked up a games console voucher for £15 and demanded he have it. Although I had planned out with him what exactly we were there to buy he saw the voucher and wanted it and that was that. He argued with me at the checkout but I said no. I can't negotiate with him so had to take deep breaths and stay quiet. I left the supermarket with people starring. I came home and of course it didn't end there. When my son doesn't get something he holds a grudge. He honestly feels that he is in the right and starts telling me that I am the worst mother. I bought him the voucher in the end. People told me that it would get better and it has over the past two years. Well, I have become better at managing it. But it doesn't only affect me. It affects my other son who says he hates his brother and wants to leave our home-he is only 9. He tells me that Ali terrorises me. It feels like abuse from morning until evening but I know that it is a disability. That doesn't stop it from making me feel exhausted. Thanks for sharing your journey x

[@cristianecharms493]

Wow your journey is very similar to ours, bring tears to my eyes to know I’m not the only/alone on this journey. 🥲 My son is 5 autistic, mild autism however he doesn’t eat any lumpy food, has to be all blended. Do you have any advice or know where I can find sources to help with this please? We haven’t had much support in this area, everyone says keep trying but I’m exhausted, frustrated, and my son gets so upset to try any finger food, breaks my hearts💔

[@traceygilligan1201]

Hello, i just found your channel, i loved your video. My son is eleven, he has Autism, he attends a specialised school.

[@ComingHometoAutism]

❤️

[@ReversedTech]

Ugh, Supermarkets are the worst for people like me and dylan lol! (I assume dylan can hear everything too) Like, you go in, stuff is brightly lit, you hear the ac straight away above you, as you pass the main doors, you hear the secuirty door alarm go of, the fridges, people scanning, music, people walking around, people talking, people picking up stuff and chucking it into the trolly's, you hear trolly's being pulled around, doors being slammed ALL at the same time lmao damn annoying lol especially when your trying to listen to someone too :/ (I'm also autistic)

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Yes it’s just like this for him so it’s always very quick x

[@annie02091987]

Useful video

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Thank you x

[@BenKlassen1]

Great mom!

[@ComingHometoAutism]

❤️

[@Gabriel78224]

Yeey!!! Video!!! :)

[@ComingHometoAutism]

❤️

[@gazalaatique]

Yaay House tour 😍

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Coming soon ❤️❤️❤️

[@jeanguerrero8305]

They said “not to over think”, when you have a child with autism but that’s not gonna happened. There will always be a constant worry for their future. Yes, the question is “what will happen to them when we’re gone?” It’s really great that Dylan is learning these life skills early on.

[@826roo]

What a ingenious 'life schools when no school' I think it's a good idea, I'm going too try this on my darling son

[@ComingHometoAutism]

❤️

[@826roo]

I just realised what bad English this was sorry ingenuius idea. Life skills days when, he's not a school is briilllant

[@sommersonne9466]

When Dylan Stims really loud in public do you ask him to be more quiet? I only ask because I see that as a life skill. I always ask our son to try and Stimm quite or wait until he is alone or in his room. Not sure if this is right but it feels like another skill to learn.

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Hey there no I don’t I let him Do what he needs to do to self soothe him self and to regulate him self x

[@jenlovesthisstuff]

@@ComingHometoAutism I'm an adult and the thing about stimming either in private or public is that we don't realise we are doing it. My partner has pointed this out to me and I really appreciate him gently letting me know if I'm stimming in public because otherwise I'd have no idea. Its like a zoning out mode.

[@ReversedTech]

Thtat's not rly helpful to him tho, but more to those around who observe, should just let him do his thing and be done with it (i'm also autistic) and would rather the same treatment lol

[@OtakuDYT]

I wouldnt recommend this, eventually you build up such a "list" of things you have to watch yourself doing subconsciously that it becomes exhausting in later life. If others have an issue with it, best they adjust themselves, it's hard enough being me. 🤣

[@evawambani7992]

My son despises the outside, unfortunately the lockdown and online school has worsened it.. Even the idea of going for short walks or going back to school makes him so upset.. 😩..

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Sending love to you

[@evawambani7992]

@@ComingHometoAutism ❤️

[@Thelordsrain]

I had a chuckle when he threw the milk in the trolley 😁 where do you get the lanyards from? Is the green with flowers representing autism or do you have a card stating autism?

[@rahenabegum6522]

I love your videos tara I aways feel reassured when I watch them,is it ok if I ask you how’s dylan doing academically.

[@ComingHometoAutism]

You can get the lanyards from Hidden disability or ask your dr x

[@sumeshsuresh2410]

Best mummy ❤

[@kafloyd6451]

My son is 6 and doesn’t really communicate and I haven’t let him be independent at all even at his special day school they hold his hand I want him to become more independent is there any advice you could give to me to start getting him to become more independent. It seems Dylan can have a conversation and has been able too I’m praying my son will get there

[@pinkpetal489]

Hi Was your Dylan nonverbal - how dud he eventually speak, is he fluent now - and what age did he start to speak - sorry I’m trying to catch up with your channel - do you know any ideas how to help childeren who walk off unaided unaware of staying with their Carer and dangers ect

[@Raksha_writes]

Hi, does Dylan go to a mainstream school or a special school.. In which grade is he studying now.. How do you help him with academics.. Please help me understand this

[@christinadomenichelli2965]

Tara, you are amazing! Is it ok if I ask you when Dylan was diagnosed what level was he diagnosed at.

[@Sarah__H]

In the uk people aren’t diagnosed with a ‘level’

[@ComingHometoAutism]

We don’t get a level here he was quite high on the spectrum when he was first diagnosed though. X

[@christinadomenichelli2965]

@@ComingHometoAutism ok thank you. Dylan has come long way❤ My great nephew is between level 2 and 3, he is 3 yrs old he started making really good eye contact and he can say a few words and his ABC and can coun t. Have a good day 🙏❤

[@priyasrinath3426]

Could you post a video on how to plan for bday parties for autistic kids.. how does Dylan behave when he is been taken to parties. .. when did Dylan understand the concept of birthdays ? .. thanks

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Hi there one of our first videos was on Dylans birthday party and what we do x

[@MerriMom]

Yes! Not Listening! Bringing up what you’ve said at the worst possible time. My daughter will say “but I have to clean my room” when we’re trying to get her ready for bed. And if she tries to clean her room she just wants us to do it and she just wants to play.

[@ArtWorkOfDR]

Say the same thing about my son that one day he maybe a lawyer his so good at it lol

[@maryamkhurram5386]

Tara please tell me whats age start your older son therpy better speech my son 4 year 3 4 single word use diginse autsiom

[@krishnar3493]

Bright kid

[@ComingHometoAutism]

Thank you x

[@nickipeta]

As a fellow autistic (adult) I have lots of smiles seeing this video. Thank you 😊 💓 Do like shopping but hate asking for help 😒 Defenetly prefer empty and quiet shops 😊 That shop had way too many people for me and I really would have done a quick u-turn out of there !! I have a sunflower lanyard but I tend to wear the wrist band and use the sunflower wallet, so I can secretly let the shop staff know that I might need help or time and patience Defenetly prefer food shopping close to closing time as I find less to noone in the food shop close to closing time 🙃 but I guess it gives me less time if anything goes wrong 🙃 During the covid pandemic lockdown I have been trying to use food delivery but I have found that very annoying and difficult for getting the right things 😑 and often not getting what I needed unfortunately. But I have liked the less contact with people having food delivered and being able to have things "on my own terms" with the delivery on my doorstep and more time given me. But down side was the need for advanced management skills that I struggle with 🥺 Think being able to write on the food delivery order about having the time as well as telling them on the order about being autistic adult has been helpful and less pain than real life food shop in a real world shop 🙃 😊

[@sickdawgg5572]

Hello

[@Kl-gz4ng]

How old is Dylan? My son is 9 years old. D0es Dylan has any friends? If yes, how do you find friends for him? I see you have a dog. Does having a dog helps with communication skills? Thank you Tara

[@aneesahthequeen]

😍😍❤️❤️💙💙

[@arameelengel7546]

I really struggle with the fear of how my son is going to live without me. How his life is going to be and if he is happy. Can anyone here give me a good advice? How can I deal with this fear?

[@jyoadithkm3259]

Same here, my husband says be positive, everything will b fine but I cannot, I am waiting for someone to seriously share some thoughts on this, may be someone who has seen autistic kids grow into independent adults, surviving with support etc Tara please share your thoughts on this whenever you can…thanks!

[@maryannoor6730]

Waaaw ilke really 💚💚💚💚

[@ComingHometoAutism]

❤️

[@babyshalini8809]

Have u done any genetic test for next baby

[@evarriska5163]

😇🥰🥰🥰🥰💞

[@ComingHometoAutism]

❤️

[@cathbry8308]

What is your instagram page?

[@ComingHometoAutism]

@taraleniston 🥰

[@hayatgebeyehu2182]

Is delyn ware mask?

[@ComingHometoAutism]

No he doesn’t x

[@heikehollas1828]

You look fantastic 👠🔨🎶🌷🌺

[@codiceblu5566]

hahahaha, I need to get warmer ^______^

[@ComingHometoAutism]

🤣❤️

[@fmsltd9502]

Dylan is a smart boy. Another £5 in his bank. Lol 😂 well done.

[@ComingHometoAutism]

🤣🤣🤣

[@fmsltd9502]

@@ComingHometoAutism practical life skill ticked.