Chelsea Peretti & Conan Are Fascinated By Bear Attacks | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

[@Biz555]

Black-fightback, Brown-lay down, White-good night.

[@CorwinPatrick]

Grizzly - Shahsizzly...

[@pihla01]

Haha 😅

[@luozvia4032]

Polar, go solar

[@tommyrq180]

Orca-Majorca

[@azimali322]

Note this advice is only useful if a bear is actually physically attacking you, which is incredibly rare! There are lots of steps in between an encounter and an attack. 1) Be loud while you are hiking. Bells do not work contrary to what this vid is talking about. Just be loud, intentionally sing, hum loudly, loudly state, "Hey Bear", talk random stuff, etc. This is to alert a bear ahead of you or behind you to avoid the trail that you might be on. 2) If you see a bear and it sees you, make yourself known to the bear (assuming you are at a distance). Prepare your bear spray: pull it out of your holding spot and pull off the safety on the trigger. Look LARGE: throw your arms up high and wave them around if you have trekking poles then point them high up to make yourself look big and if you have a group or a couple then get close to each other. Low pitched and loud-ish voice say, "Hey Bear." Back away slowly maintaining an idea of what the bear is doing in relation to your actions. Is it still coming in your direction? It might be trying to take the path in the opposite direction of you and doesn't want to bother you. Get away from the direction the bear wants to travel. 3) If the bear bluff charges you keep backing away slowly but maintain contact with the bear BUT DO NOT RUN WITH NO EYESIGHT of the bear. 4) If a bear FULL CHARGES AT YOU and there is no bluff, then deploy bear spray. 4) If a bear FULL CHARGES AT YOU and there is no bluff and you don't have bear spray (or you run out of bear spray), then do what you stated.

[@erichenderson9348]

My uncle, a long time hunter in Western Montana, always said ‘You can tell it’s grizzly scat because it smells like pepper spray and has bells in it.’ - RIP Uncle Pat

[@douglasbodie6279]

Comment of the thread! COTT. Hilarious. I never met uncle pat but RIP.

[@Gringa_L]

LOL

[@mongolmcphee7791]

Pure genius. Greetings from Scotland

[@dulynoted2427]

Bring a friend. Preferably one who is slower than you, when running from the bear.

[@pretzelhunt]

the bears can smell the menstruation...

[@dugferd2266]

I wanted to hear "bring two friends, at least one of whom is slower than you are."

[@florete2310]

Bear is like: "Oh, I'm sooo going for the well-nourished one over there!!!😍🍖"

[@tasnimtrisha2]

😂😂😂

[@benzaiten933]

well, not that good of a friend, preferably.

[@blurtling]

Please have CRAIG FERGUSON on as a guest! they would be perfect together.

[@tr1co0]

Oh man, the comedic sparring that would ensue…

[@cleverusername9369]

I want Conan, Craig, and Matthew Rhys to have a conversation. A Celtic trifecta

[@aquatarkus2022]

I was attacked by a bear once, I never went to that bar again.

[@mav9428]

Best comment here

[@MsKillerqueen5]

😂

[@mohitsarchives]

This whole bear exchange left me in absolute bits 😂

[@cleverusername9369]

An exchange with an actual bear would likely do the same 😆

[@thaichai02]

Same! Was thinking of this bit so I came to hear it again. They cut the funniest parts 😢

[@markalexandermaron5531]

Chelsea P episode was a winner. Whole thing felt like 20 mins. This bear attack bit made me choke in laughter

[@oskarfunes2505]

She is a female conan

[@Garrettdx1988]

This whole episode was a top 5 all time

[@jrkoosh]

unhinged and great

[@amonrodriguez3518]

@@jrkooshno

[@azimali322]

1) Be loud while you are hiking. Bells do not work contrary to what this vid is talking about. Just be loud, intentionally sing, hum loudly, loudly state, "Hey Bear", talk random stuff, etc. This is to alert a bear ahead of you or behind you to avoid the trail that you might be on. 2) If you see a bear and it sees you, make yourself known to the bear (assuming you are at a distance). Prepare your bear spray: pull it out of your holding spot and pull off the safety on the trigger. Look LARGE: throw your arms up high and wave them around if you have trekking poles then point them high up to make yourself look big and if you have a group then get close to each other. Low pitched and loud-ish voice say, "Hey Bear." Back away slowly maintaining an idea of what the bear is doing in relation to your actions. Is it still coming in your direction? It might be trying to take the path in the opposite direction of you and doesn't want to bother you. Get away from the direction the bear wants to travel. 3) If the bear bluff charges you keep backing away slowly but maintain contact with the bear BUT DO NOT RUN WITH NO EYESIGHT of the bear. 4) If a bear FULL CHARGES AT YOU and there is no bluff, then deploy bear spray. 4) If a bear FULL CHARGES AT YOU and there is no bluff and you don't have bear spray (or you run out of bear spray), then do: Black - fight back. (they tend to be scared of being injured or harmed so they back off pretty quickly after trying to attack), Brown - lay down (torso face down on the ground and hands around the back of your neck to protect your neck. Most grizzlies aren't going to try to kill you; they will try to harm you/swipe at you though). If a grizzly bear attack is SUSTAINED for a longer period of time like more than 45 secs or 1 min, then FIGHT BACK just like a black bear attack! You need to protect yourself from dying at some point if the bear is being adamant about clawing at you.

[@ADDekoning100]

Outdoor expert here. This is excellent. 👌

[@sew75962]

Totally off topic but I really love her shirt. The floral pattern is so pretty!

[@chrisrodriguez2244]

Conan has never been closer to his character in the treasure or foggy mountain than in this clip

[@jujitsujew23]

Growing up in western Washington and spending time in my dad’s home state of Montana I was always taught to sing on the trail in bear country and if you see a bear always talk to it. “Hey the bear!” “How’s is going bear?” Just talk to ‘em like they’re your friend. Never run from a grizzly, back up slowly and absolutely stand up to a black bear. If a black bear is too interested in you shout at it and make yourself as big as possible

[@Littleneddygtw]

"what's the perfect level of bear attack for it to still be funny and register comedic?" hahaha

[@laffingist218]

"black fight back, brown lie down, white goodnight" is meant for AFTER a bear is ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY attacking you. bears, like many scary beasts, will do false charges, stamp and sweep toward you, put on a show to test you and scare you before deciding if they have to attack. until the actual attack starts (physical contact) stay big, stay noisy, stay calm, face the animal, back away and focus on getting far away while facing the animal. not an expert but I just also watch and read stuff. a beast is not attacking you until it is on you basically, so psychologically don't jump to "I'm gonna die, i have to kill it" until it is touching you. most of the time 😉🤪💀

[@vinyllpreviews9462]

Adam Carolla podcast years ago, Adam is talking about it's probably way more likely to be attacked by an Elk than a bear. They look up the stats and Elk attacks happen way more frequently. Adam then kind of talks why he thinks that, mainly people aren't scared of Elk and out themselves in situations to get attacked. They move on to a caller that was on hold before this conversation came up, guy was like, i was attacked by a bear.

[@azimali322]

Important fact: Moose kill and injure more people than all types of bear attacks. Everyone is scared of bears, but the herbivores are usually more deadly than omnivores because they can be territorial.

[@MightyFineMan]

Underrated comment. Personally, I’ve had encounters with both. By far, moose are more provocative.

[@bandjolyn]

I'm terrified of moose. They're aggresive af and massive.

[@CAP3131]

Meese

[@Gringa_L]

Interesting! I wonder if it's a case of "looks like friend, must be friend" because their faces are kind of goofy and cute with those big eyes and long eyelashes. 🙂 But still, they're so big, why would anyone approach them?

[@azimali322]

@@Gringa_L Nope, it's more the bias that people think of bears and think predators and being eaten versus being maimed, bruised, and internally bleeding due to a charge/tackle from a moose or elk. Also, just pure numbers: there are way more elk, moose, and/or buffalo than there are bears so people have more encounters with large herbivores than bears.

[@tommyrq180]

In Alaska they call bear bells the “dinner bell”

[@littleghostfilms3012]

Chelsea is HILARIOUS!!

[@MerrillHartman]

7:11 Then Christopher Walken asks for more cowbell

[@spooky.giggles]

Hey Team Coco, please bring Rebecca Ferguson on this podcast…it’s gonna be chaotic and she’s naturally funny

[@joshualee7460]

Seconded. She’s truly a talent

[@makscho1]

Can confirm

[@jesse6851]

Shes only in bangers

[@lucasoheyze4597]

No thanks

[@MaxineShaw_84]

Great suggestion! 👏🏿

[@jaredbarber5823]

For safety around bears, "...bring two friends". True, but also, make sure they are both slower than you.

[@marahesther]

Lol

[@georgejorden6269]

How this for interesting comedy skit. Bear Stalker. This guy is stalked by this bear. The guy narrowly escapes this bear attack. The bear suddenly becomes obsessed with "the one that got away". One skit - This guy is a swanky 5 star hotel. There is a knock at his door. He asks who is it. Response "Room service". He opens the door and whammo - It's the bear. Bear Stalker!!!

[@jeremylaseur9526]

If it's red, you're dead If it's blue, you're through, If it's yellow, you're one unlucky fellow If it's green, say goodbye to your spleen If it's chartreuse, you might as well have your head in a noose If it's teal, you're a meal

[@sofafire]

6:44 You’ll either get attacked or form a conga line of bears behind you.

[@georgejorden6269]

I love Chelsea Peretti talking about the cow bell. That made me think of the SNL Cowbell skit. Imagine a revised skit - A bear crashing the recording session because the bear hates cowbells.

[@cleverusername9369]

Fun fact, the Polish army in WWII actually DID have a brown bear in their ranks, he was named Wotjek, he ended up as a Corporal.

[@elvirathon]

Chelsea Peretti !! i love your comedy, glad the podcast is coming back.

[@vivalavivarium]

Im a herpetologist that works at a zoo and an aquarium. Best bear advice I’ve ever heard is “black fight back, brown lay down, white good night”

[@RaphaelMattos_atCW]

4:14 Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica...

[@doggedout]

Heard the whole thing yesterday and kept waiting for mention of the greatest comedy bear movie of all time. Werner Hertzog's "Grizzly Man". Teaches everything you need to know about bears. Namely, don't be around bears.

[@florete2310]

So in essence, that bear did, *in fact,* go for a light mauling, LOL😆... Man, I really need to check out Chelsea's comedic bear mauling podcast

[@GregLindquist]

What musical composer do bears prefer? Mahler!

[@Starclimber]

Huh. I thought it was Bearthoven. I sit corrected. Mind you, Sibearlius is preferred by some Finnish bears...

[@GregLindquist]

@@Starclimber these are unbearable.😆

[@Starclimber]

@@GregLindquistBearlioz begs to diffur, though he does refuse to roll over.

[@ODUBlue]

Conan, in a bear costume, nose black & everything... must-see tv.

[@markwashburn2418]

I love that she laughs talking about bear attack victim. I listen to scary bear attacks on KZbin. It's pretty good if no one has heard it.

[@s.a.l948]

Chelsea has a great laugh!

[@LearsiMusic1]

So much joy on this PC!! 😂😂

[@goodlookingcorpse]

Oh, you've read the Reichsangriffsbärenausbildunghandbuch?

[@deptofcarstereorepair]

it's the other way around! Wojtek the bear fought WITH the Polish AGAINST the Germans!

[@libbywiskowski9618]

Bahahahaa I love this one! I have a strange knowledge of bear attack business too. 😂 when I had my first daughter in 2006 so yea 17 now (maths), I was offered the option to "watch" a "give birth movie" idk it's Wisconsin. I chose the documentary "Grizzly Man" where (rip) Timothy Treadwell got eaten by a bear w his girlfriend in his bear expeditions and I think the doctor and nurses thought I was nuts, welp news flash I am. 😂😂 I've always called my daughter little TT for the late Tim T of bear country. Ok end of that awkward story 🎉

[@tommyrq180]

She works out pretty nicely on this podcast…😂

[@JBHogan]

Good lord, I just looked up at the TV and a lady in Pennsylvania was attacked but survived a bear attack!!

[@dugferd2266]

I thought for sure they would make up a rhyme to discourage paparazzi such as "When the papz are clickin', show them your Lyndon." (OK that's a near-rhyme, but it's as close as I could get to match the story. Nothing rhymes with... Lyndon 😜) (OK some things do rhyme with Lyndon, such as Swindon. To match her story I had to pick between that and clickin' and there are plenty of rhymes for that, so Lyndon it is)

[@joeburns7506]

This feels like the right time to consult a certain paper salesman who owns a beet farm in Scranton Pennsylvania

[@WilliamHaisch]

Are there mnemonics for other languages or will everyone need to learn English to survive a bear attack? 😂

[@JimNortonsAlcoholism]

That shirt looks good on Conan. I want one

[@merkinidgit]

“Hyped up on benzos”? BENZOS?! 😂 🛌

[@elizabethheyenga9277]

Cougars next?? been some pretty scary ones lately

[@Noahvelli21]

Conan please go down to Austin and check out the comedy scene there! Would love to see you interacting with Rogan, Kill Tony, Tom Segura, etc.

[@PatrickMcGerr]

3 people seems decent, but I personally don't go into bear country without a full US rifle platoon worth of people.. and a platoon's weapons.

[@cindylyns]

I found the picture! 😊

[@JimNortonsAlcoholism]

Link

[@deadasfak]

Heh, I'm listening to this while we're in the middle of bear vs. men discourse.

[@thedude4672]

A lot of things rhyme with "pigeon" and "pony." Smidgen, crony, etc.

[@proned2stoned]

I found the picture of him holding the Robert Caro book. Hahaha. Apparently on reddit two days ago.

[@BenVarkentine]

I applaud everyone in that room for not referencing the SNL "cowbell" sketch. I dunno if I'd have had the integrity.

[@cpcpcp]

Black - Fight Back Brown - Lay Down White - Goodnight 😂

[@masterxyr]

ideally, bring 2 large friends with fries who despise exercise to bear country

[@michaellovett8773]

Never heard of Chelsea. Hilarious and perfect for a guest or host.

[@vividlydisoriented]

Brooklyn Nine Nine?

[@jenkem4464]

Ha! She was right, it worked! "Conan Craig's Getty images"

[@geisaune793]

I mean Dwight Schrute covered this over nine seasons. If you watched The Office, you should be an expert

[@sirchadiusmaximusiii]

The rule of thumb for bears is: If it’s brown lie down (be docile/play dead), if it’s black fight back, if it’s white goodnight (polar bears are the only full carnivores). Try to make big noises in the woods from a distance and animals will avoid you, and the most dangerous is when there are cubs. No matter what, do not run, it will trigger their predator mode to see you as prey.

[@elizabethheyenga9277]

if you're looking at a polar bear, you're gone if he decides you're a problem so true

[@Gringa_L]

You mean it's not going to be a "good death" like Brad Pitt's in Legends of the Fall? LOL

[@alexk5771]

As a wildlife biologist who works in bear country, I must address this. The "brown lie down" part is wrong. First of all, black bears can be brown, so if it is referring to color it is unreliable especially since many people cannot tell the difference between black bears and brown/grizzly bears. Second, always cover your neck and fight back if a mauling happens. Carry bear spray, know how to use it, be aware of your surroundings. Bears may bluff charge. Slowly back out of a situation if possible. If a bear is anxious and agitated, be calm. If a bear is calm, be loud and agitated.

[@ZeroKool7140]

If it’s yellow, let it mellow. That’s what I always say.

[@Gringa_L]

@@ZeroKool7140 A fellow drought veteran, I'm guessing? California?

[@amonrodriguez3518]

When the og Scott aukerman started it. Not everyone had a podcast

[@phaedrawidney5246]

Hyped on bemzos lol

[@barrettpickett5603]

Travel with a friend. To trip them. No way we running forty miles with this jar of honey.

[@tiredhands1]

2:28 Matt gets possessed by Keanu Reeves

[@marktokarski3939]

We live in black bear country, and encounters are rare. They are shy creatures, and come around our home at night looking for food. We have had them during the day, usually because some AIRBNB weekend occupants left their garbage out for the week, waiting for Thursday pickup. Bears are food brained creatures, and once scoring a garbage meal, they see the big black garbage cans as a food source. When they become too emboldened they are either relocated or put down. As Fish and Game folks say, a fed bear is a dead bear. We had dinner one time in Europe with two Alaska residents, and they said up there throw out the rules about black bears being shy creatures. Brown bears rule up there, and black bears to survive have ceased being timid and will attack humans ... for a meal. We were at Brooks Falls a few years ago, and the salmon-stuffed brownies walked within 20 feet of us, not concerned and hardly aware of us.

[@JMPT]

Nice 🐻

[@DirtyFrigginHarry]

In California they fight bears with bells.

[@erzsebet56]

The saying I always was told was "If it's black fight back, if it's brown lay down"

[@CenterThePendulum]

I was waiting for “If it’s brown drink it down. If it’s black, send it back” just to know it was Conan’s line to own…

[@OzyMandias13]

A comedic bear attack is just losing your pic-a-nic basket.

[@stevenwymor1398]

You don’t have to out run the bear, you just have to out run your friend.

[@Dlfrog]

That bear was the Bruce Lee of bears.

[@JamesGannon-iz7yh]

If its yellow let it mellow

[@maddyhall4171]

I’ve literally never heard anyone find comedy in bear attacks

[@darynwood2797]

Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica!

[@businessman9478]

Chelsea Peretti could replace Sona lol. She has great comedic chemistry with Conan

[@jamesdooling4139]

I'll admit, my knowledge of entertainment ended BEFORE Conan's TBS show ended. Maybe 2015-ish. Also, no idea who this guest is... But, I can also say, now I have hundreds of hours on KZbin to stalk and watch her past work. She's hilarious in that seemingly-normal-but-you-know-she's-a-nutbag sort of way. Fits right in with these three.

[@pretzelhunt]

She's married to Jordan Peele as well

[@stevewhite3899]

Chelsea needs to contact a guy from Choteau Montana survived grizzly by sticking his fist down bears throat

[@chaerinlee3482]

If bears were in my country, we'd make a delicacy of it

[@tishw4576]

I adore Chelsea.

[@lachauntiswashington231]

This is great 🤣🤣🤣

[@fenriswolfe75]

Chelsea needs to have Fozzie Bear on her podcast.

[@Eric-cr8ht]

Give it a bear hugg

[@MisterNotlob]

Yes the bell is for all bears. Don’t startle them. Failing that. Make yourself big and loud and back away slowly. Never turn and run. “Fight back” is a last resort. Female with cubs are the most dangerous.

[@catoninetales]

Now all the young starlets know what to do when they are hounded by the paparazzi... and bears.

[@LeanneSylvest]

My husband was attacted by a polar bear while sleeping in a tent in the Arctic. He survived because his buddy was with him and able to fire a rifle into the air and scare it off. He has written about this incident, and you can find it online..

[@ZeroKool7140]

If it’s yellow, let it mellow. That’s what I always say.

[@davidbright6790]

Two guys hiking in a forest see a big brown bear. One immediately takes off his boots and starts lacing up some Nikes. His friend laughs at him and says you cannot outrun a bear. His mate responds: "I know, I just have to outrun you"

[@OsRG12]

"Polar go solar"

[@newtron1]

Bear Attack is a great book. Chronicles attacks and what the humans did incorrectly. Bear Spray is a waste of money. Gives peeps a false sense of security.

[@WhiskyCanuck]

Polar bears: If it's white, say your last rites.

[@tess4-2]

I'm waiting for someone to say how very rare bear attacks are. This fascination/obsession isn't good for bears - they should just be left alone.

[@jacoscofield5150]

Good thing the bear didn’t do cocaine

[@paulmrjohnson]

Conan's read some books about bears? Name a title.

[@brenobacci]

Do Charlie and Mikey count as two friends for Sona, when she walks in Altadena? Or the bears will just see them as entrées? Un aperitif, or amuse-bouche? 😁

[@brenobacci]

In all seriousness though (maybe not "all"), I only saw Chelsea as herself in a British game-show, but I always felt she must be pretty damn funny in real life. I wasn't wrong. Good pick, Team Coco. More of that!

[@ArgChica]

Exactly!!! Grizzlies are no joke!!😱 I rather run into a black bear all day than a grizzly

[@tyr409]

If you have a little ice bucket... Tap on it really hard.... If you tap lightly like your jamin on the bongos....it will attract the big ass bear.

[@kevinaweber6517]

Fun or flight

[@deed3211]

More cow bell....

[@evenflowsteven]

1:51 *slower friends