What My Daughter's Death Taught Me About Life | Eric Hodgdon | TEDxYoungstown

[@applejax209]

My daughter died of suicide. She was only 13. It’s been 10 months today. We are all trying to survive her death. I needed to hear this. Thank you.

[@livebeyondloss]

April. Sending you all so much love. I know this is not easy and with time the sharp edges of the pain so soften some. Super big hug.

[@lostnlonely669]

Sending you strength and hope and peace.

[@boston312]

sorry for your loss

[@jeanroth159]

Much strength and love to you, i am so sorry about your daughter. X

[@MaryLopez-kb7xp]

Im so sorry for your loss of your sweet baby. I lost my son 6 months ago.

[@sasoubwen5634]

I loss my 18 y/o son. I can’t sleep or eat. I praying for strength. I pray I can get to the point where I can get up

[@livebeyondloss]

Sasou- I know this is not easy. It does take time. You’re not alone. Sending you love.

[@micdaskel3313]

you have my prayers. i hope you're ok x

[@monyaesabuurbey1435]

My heart goes out to you beautiful mother. your child really loved you and I pray that your child’s loving arms are always wrapped around you. I also lost my son he was 21. It’s been 5 years and I’m also in pain it doesn’t go away.. we must keep pushing beautiful. One day at a time one day at a time! Much love to you💕💕💕

[@nicolastsantos]

I pray for you

[@chareaston]

I hope you’re okay, truly x

[@maihoang8567]

I needed this . I lost my beautiful 30 yo daughter on Christmas day .

[@livebeyondloss]

I'm so heartily sorry for your loss. I'm sure it's not easy. I'm glad the talk helped some.

[@rajeevgoyal9131]

God bless you.

[@Dumpweed971]

I came across this completely by accident, but man what a powerful speech. Your daughter would be proud of you.

[@livebeyondloss]

Dumpweed971 thank you very much. I appreciate your compliments.

[@as-kh3vj]

"she wasnt standing in her closet" sent shivers down my spine. my condolences to his family.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you. While that moment has passed, it was terrifying in the moment. If you’ve experienced a moment like this, there are others who can help with the trauma.

[@Ulxshn7l]

Sorry I don’t get it. Where was she at that moment? Did she jump down from the window or what? 😢

[@treatpeoplewithkindness9231]

This makes me emotional. I’m 14 and am severely depressed, anxious and have a past with suicide. I say I’m ok when I’m really not. Listening to this makes me realize what could’ve happened to my family if it worked all three tries from 6th -7th grade. I’m in ninth and doing alright. I made honor roll of that means anything! Harry styles had helped a lot through music. All 1D song have ( when they were a band) and still do. I want to tell Harry thank you in person one day.

[@livebeyondloss]

@ Styles - Good on you for finding what works to help - Music is big for me too!! Love that! I know this isn't easy and I'm proud of you for fighting on. Super big hug sweetie. You are loved and there a lot of people around you that do care - even if it doesn't feel like that at time.

[@ngozibell691]

you are wonderful fro sharing please make sure your family knows everything and leeps supporting or who ever you enjoy the most. thanks for encouraging us

[@maranatha5819]

When you are feeling depressed and suicidal...call on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. He will help you, comfort you and sustain you. Ask him to come into your life and forgive you of your sins. Your peace will come.💖

[@Hassanthehorse]

Do you have someone to talk to? I know that it might not seem like it, but having someone to talk to about what you're experiencing can help a lot. If you have access, please consider seeing a school counselor, psychologist, or therapist. I'm glad music has given you a lot of meaning, and I hope you continue to find healthy ways of coping with your emotional pain because that's what you deserve.

[@boston312]

i had severe depression and suicide thoughts when i was in college. The love from my family and knowing the devastating effects it would have on my family prevented me from ever trying it but I was in so much pain. After years of therapy and various anti depressant medications I have finally found a happy life. I am hoping that things will get better for you over the years as well.

[@debblemcdaniel]

Wow i needed this today my daughter also called Zoey died 5 years ago in a car crash .i turned to you tube for help tonight as the grief is overwhelming me tonight .The bravest thing you can do is to get up when all you want to do is die

[@livebeyondloss]

Sending you a tremendous amount of love. I know this is not easy. And I absolutely love your daughter's name is Zoey as well. Super big hug for you.

[@debblemcdaniel]

@@livebeyondloss thankyou so much that means a lot to me .

[@livebeyondloss]

@@debblemcdaniel

[@katdoll8226]

💜

[@smittysmeee]

❤

[@snowwhitecupcakes272]

My daughter also hung herself in her closet. I couldn’t get the belt off her neck, I had to break the shelving down to free her but it was too late. We performed CPR for twenty minutes. She was 15 and had no signs of depression, no note, no understanding of why. I don’t think I can even go on from this. How do I survive? I miss her. I would do anything to have her back. I don’t understand. I have no joy left in life. My daughter is my everything. I just want to be with her.

[@livebeyondloss]

I am so heartily sorry for your loss. Everything you wrote is exactly how I felt in the beginning too. I know this isn't easy, and maybe just focusing on day to day, if not hour by hour is what is needed here to survive. I'm sending you so much love. There are better days ahead.

[@jjfamilyj4396]

I completely understand your pain. In August 2021, my daughter who was 23 yrs old and just had a baby, hung herself in her bedroom. She was experiencing ppp. I found her aprox 10min after she did it and had to cut her down. The pain and guilt have stayed with me and have gotten worse. I have family and friends who really loved us and know about what happened but I feel like they don't completely understand. I feel alone....traumatized....and overwhelmed with sadness. I am so afraid I might have the memories fade. I get pissed that the world around me keeps moving on. I feel people avoid me when I talk about her.this is unimaginable pain and sadness and by far the worst thing that I've experienced in my life.

[@snowwhitecupcakes272]

@ it is awful and I am sorry you have also experienced it. I also worry about losing memories, I miss the sound of her voice. I wish I had more videos. Life can be so cruel and unfair.

[@rajeevgoyal9131]

God bless you. I’m really sorry to read this. I don’t know you but sending a big hug of compassion.

[@monicacfaria]

Exact same story here, my daughter, 17, "perfect live" (in the outside), no note, she hung herself in her closet... I found her, only in the morning. This was a month ago, a bit before Christmas, her favorite time of the year. Don't understand and don't see how to live with this... I hope you have found a way to live.

[@indrabudhu1069]

Sorry for the loss of your daughter. My only child committed suicide August 2021. I grief every day. My life is not the same

[@livebeyondloss]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss as well Indra. Sending love to you. You are correct, life won't be the same. In my experience, I've found a way to both honor Zoi and myself at the same time - it's ok to do both - So yes, life isn't the same, but it's better now if that makes sense.

[@angiusso]

Sorry

[@caroldendy851]

I am crying so much, what a beautiful and gentle man this is.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words, Carol. It means a lot.

[@miroslavhancinsky6111]

I am too and I don't.

[@harrydecker3979]

I did too in this and I dont cry.

[@livebeyondloss]

@@harrydecker3979 Thank you for watching , Harry. I hope it helped some.

[@harrydecker3979]

@@livebeyondloss thanks, truly thanks

[@BBFCDirector]

We just buried our 22 year old daughter who lost her life in a car accident this weekend. She was moving across the country to start a new life with the love of her life. She didn’t even live 15 minutes after landing at the airport. We are all in survival mode trying to figure out, not the why but the how. HOW do we move on with life without her?? I know in my heart it starts with the decision to get up. It’s finding that strength to live on every day that is the struggle. My daughter was a beautiful soul, gorgeous on the outside as beautiful as she was on the inside, always with a smile on her face and ready to brighten anyone’s day. I grieve for the life she would’ve had. I grieve for the brilliance that would’ve been her life. I grieve for all the souls that she touched and the emptiness she left behind. Thank you for this video; your words ring true in our hearts. We just need to find the strength to take that pain and turn it into something that would honor the memory of our children. That has to become our new WHY.

[@livebeyondloss]

Sir and/or Ma'am, I am heartily sorry to hear about the loss of your precious daughter. i'm sure there is a blur right now for you. This is all so very fresh for you and this journey, while so very difficult, will also illuminate the love that is abundant all around you. I appreciate your words and wisdom. Sending you so much love - parent to parent. And I agree with you. with time, you will find what the true purpose of all this is. You have already declared that you will get up and I know that's not easy as well. Please know that better days are ahead.

[@foxydnav1]

Hello, hope you are doing better now. Take care of yourself sir. also rip to your beautiful daughter, it’s really sad to hear :/

[@TaliaNassau]

you are so strong

[@betha8761]

She will always be with you.🕊🌞🕊

[@Monabuzanw]

You made me cry, hope u can find comfort and peace, hope you can go stronger every day although it's not that easy! lots of love my friend.

[@melissalohryunker1332]

My 24 year old son just committed suicide last weekend and we just had his funeral this past Saturday. I am so lost and broken without him. He sounds a lot like your daughter, everyone liked and loved him, we are all devastated. I hope I too will be able to speak like you someday to help myself heal as well as others. God bless.

[@joncrich]

condolence. sorry for the loss i hope that day by day you will get back up

[@livebeyondloss]

Melissa, I am heartly sorry for your loss. I know how hard this is as a parent and for his friends. More than anything, stay connected to one another. You will help them and they will help you too. Sending so much love to you. ❤️

[@bonseeyouma7274]

..I lost my 21 year old son to suicide just a week ago Saturday as well. it's only been a week since we laid him to rest. We are still so broken and I'm sorry for your loss as well...i wish I could hug you.

[@flodavis]

All my thoughts and prayers. I cannot imagine

[@melissalohryunker1332]

@@bonseeyouma7274 hugs and prayers to you♥️

[@panicregret7224]

I just found this by accident, I’m a teen struggling with depression and this reminded me that I have to keep trying no matter how hard it gets because I can’t do that to my friends or family. Thank you so much, I’m sure zoey is proud of you for helping so many people

[@livebeyondloss]

I am so very proud of you for fighting on. There are better days ahead. And thank you for the kind words. Big hug!

[@danielscobie4459]

What ever you do remember there are people who love you what ever pain you are going through remember this "it's not for ever it's just for now" keep your head up

[@julia-mi8ct]

I struggled with depression when I was a teen too, and I know what you're going through is more difficult than a lot of people could imagine. I'm really proud of you for keeping up your fight and I'm glad you're still here. I hope that one day you find a reason to fight not only to protect your loved ones, but for yourself. Sending all of my love! Keep pushing

[@ashitwilson7836]

Nothing is more precious than your life ❤️

[@rochaslifestylehustles1045]

Your amazing , a fighter , you are strong I pray that you overcome any obstacles, I can’t wait for your days of joy 👑 your life is worth living 💕

[@TenCowStud]

I am crying. My 16 yo little brother took his life 6 months ago. I have always had a positive outlook, and see this as an opportunity to be better. But man, sometimes I need to watch videos like these to know that everything will be alright. Thank you

[@livebeyondloss]

Sending love to you Matthew. So very sorry to hear about your little brother. Super big hug. It will be OK

[@lutoninanay4305]

@Matthew James Is your little brother been open about his thoughts or problems?

[@johnjjgravely]

As a father of 2 daughters, I cannot even fathom this.

[@livebeyondloss]

It IS hard to wrap ones head around this and I hope that no other fathers have to experience this. I can tell you that I love Zoi as much as I did the day she was born. That warms my heart these days knowing that love never dies.

[@thedeepfocus]

I would not wish it on an enemy

[@christopherscotellaro]

My comment to ALL the ppl in pain here, is you’re LOVED. We will never meet but YOU are loved. Peace to everyone here. I love you.

[@livebeyondloss]

Well said. You are correct. You are all loved and supported.

[@Heidi_K_Girl_444]

I lost my daughter to Suicide 1 day before my 50th birthday with my grandchildren at home. It set off a collapse of almost total destruction of our family and almost losing my other daughter twice right after her sister died. Twice she was on life support. I needed this. Thank you and God Bless you and all of us survivors.

[@livebeyondloss]

Sending love to you, Heidi. I know this must not be easy. Thank you.

[@rachealbrasner4237]

Watch this. Everyone needs to watch this.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you Rachael. I appreciate the kind words.

[@zepgirl6489]

I lost my baby girl, though not to suicide, she was just 3 weeks old. That was 18 years ago. As he said, you have to get up....not to survive....but to live.

[@emma.st.charles]

I'm so sorry to hear

[@lisanicoleszucs7290]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you love.

[@imgoingplacestoday]

I think the hardest part of 'surviving' the suicide of someone you love is questioning whether or not you even deserve to

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for this comment. I agree... there are A LOT of questions we ask after the suicide of a loved one... But, just because death took our loved one's live, it doesn't mean that our life is lost, too... Your questions is VERY valid. I asked those same questions too - including Why am I still here if Zoi isn't?.. I guest it's because I still have things to do...

[@peytonbusby324]

this💔💔💔💔i don’t feel like i do

[@livebeyondloss]

@@peytonbusby324 I felt like that for a period of time too. That feeling you have right now will fade with time. I’m sorry you are in this place. I know it’s not easy

[@themessimadetoday]

His story of the last night and finding his daughter. I have no idea how I would live with this memory, let alone turn it in to a memory which fuels a passion to help others. What and incredible person.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you very much for you kind words. It took walking the journey and time, But not one without the other.

[@angelinaalexiis]

You're an amazing father, and will forever be her father. Sorry for your loss.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you very much for the kind words. Sending love.

[@angelinaalexiis]

@@livebeyondloss Always ❤

[@luisasanchez5532]

so heavy, he's a great dad

[@chewysbacka]

I can't help but think, aren't we all just surviving with moments of greatness.

[@livebeyondloss]

Yes, and focusing on gratitude will eventually tip the scale to have more more moments of greatness.

[@chewysbacka]

@@livebeyondloss Thanks Eric and yeah so true man!

[@marcusrussell1]

I lost my 27yr old daughter recently and found her dead in her room. It’s so difficult to cope with but I’ve taken some comfort and inspiration from this so thank you. My condolences to everybody who’s been affected by the suicide of a loved one, we can get through it with the support of each other.

[@livebeyondloss]

Marcus - I am heartily sorry for you. Father to father, I get it. I am glad this talk helps in some way. You are loved and you are not alone sir. Thank you for commenting.

[@goodwill2174]

"I choose to get up and live beyond the loss". Thank you so much sir I desperately needed to hear this. Thank you for being an epitome of courage, strength and unconditional love.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words.

[@jamesdoucet1782]

I had two serious attempts to die as a teen, and in 1981.suprised the family, my brother, an attorney, an anesthesia nurse. I trained as an additions counselor after I decided to live

[@livebeyondloss]

I'm glad you made the decision to live and I'm glad you're here today, sir. you are loved and supported.

[@lorrainewilson5813]

Thank you so much, we lost our son with short illness with cancer 4months ago , listening to you made me smile and cry because our son would say the same thing love and gratitude xx

[@livebeyondloss]

Lorraine Wilson big hug for you! Sending you love.

[@theultimatereductionist7592]

Don't want your child to commit suicide or to die before you do? DON'T HAVE CHILDREN! PREVENTION IS KEY! Learn ANTINATALISM! Go ANTINATALIST!

[@Favekillertunes]

Oh Lorraine, thats a beautiful testament to your son, bless you!

[@umadelecois]

Thats such a powerful comment, my sister lost her daughter, this made me feel.

[@youdontneedtoknowwhoiam6640]

@@theultimatereductionist7592 oh come on, people need to have children for our species. Writing this on a video about a parent's worst nightmare is so inconsiderate.

[@avajayden1729]

His daughter never saw how much all those people in her life that saw nothing but good and strength in her. If only people who suffer like this could see themselves through the eyes of their loved ones.

[@williammathews1648]

It is so heart breaking

[@AngelinaX23]

Do any of us?

[@miroslavhancinsky6111]

It takes much courage for a man to open like this, thank you Eric!

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you. I hope it helps some.

[@miroslavhancinsky6111]

@@livebeyondloss I have been learning that strong is not muscles, strong is being open to whatever comes your way and dealing with it in kindness, thank you sir, your talk inspires me to be better.

[@livebeyondloss]

@@miroslavhancinsky6111 A wonderful approach. Sending love to you.

[@jeremystark3350]

@@livebeyondloss thanks so much for this video, I just lost a dog I found as a dying puppy when she was only 2 weeks old and she just had to be euthanized today with heart & liver failure. I also lost my dad in a car accident when I was 15, these videos really help me to cope with all the questions and pain I have. Thanks alot Eric.

[@livebeyondloss]

I'm sorry to hear about your losses Jeremy. I know it's not easy. Sending you love and glad this video may help some. Better days are ahead .

[@gracefairbank]

This has got to be the worst thing a parent could live through. Truly sorry for your loss Eric, it sounds like Zoi had a beautiful and gentle spirit and I'm sure it's still in the universe somewhere.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words Grace. I agree! I believe Zoi is always around :)

[@agnesgarphem9153]

😊😊😅😊😅😊😊😊😅😅😊😊P😊😊😊😅😊 😊😊😊😊

[@gpaul9206]

I can feel your pain my son commit suicide a year ago leaving 💔 behind his 3 beautiful children we all miss him so much 😢 and 6 months later my husband passed away too much pain 💔 this is so hard to deal with not having my son or my husband around 😢

[@livebeyondloss]

G - I’m sure it’s so very difficult for you. Sending you so much love. Better days are ahead.

[@maryellenzappolo7663]

❤️❤️❤️ to you .

[@remaininganonymous4129]

Sending you love, I can't imagine how you feel x I hope you find peace x

[@LukenUSee]

Sending you peace and healing thoughts. I know some of what you're going through, having lost my son suddenly. Keep on, and seek support.

[@keztukariri]

I truly dont know how any of you parents actually even begin to deal with, and make it through this level of grief and heart ache... youre all incredible ❤ i cant even deal with the loss of my fur baby 😭

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words. A couple of years ago, I had to let go my fur baby, Bean. It was really difficult, but I was comforted knowing that very much like losing my daugther, it will be ok. An Animal's love for its human is unmatched. The good news is, love is every abundant. Animals show us this as well as most people. Sending love to you.

[@simaobitencourt]

The rates of suicide are continuing to climb, more and more people are going to have to deal with the aftermath. Like you said, we all do it in our own time. In our own ways. It can be consuming but it can also give way to a new path. I found your ability to process what happened to you and how you comforted Zoey's friends to be pretty admirable. You are a really beautiful human.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words. I hope it helps in some way.

[@margosparkle4299]

I read there are more suicides than homicides in our country (USA). We hear about so many murders it is horrific to think of this.

[@peytonbusby324]

that’s all I can think going thru the comments is HOW MANY PEOPLE are dealing w the same thing. We need global REST. everyone exhausted of playing pretend whether we see it or not );

[@Niko_Soldo]

“She was always smiling” 🥺🙏

[@flodavis]

Our message to the outside would is often so different from what is happening internally

[@JoJo-pp5ef]

I lost my son of 24 yrs old to suicide on the 29th June 2020. I really can't see how i can carry on met someone and live a happy life. Its so hard the pain is unreal. Your video is so what I needed to hear. All my friends and family say I'm doing well and they are proud of me but behind the smiles and the tears I come home alone and then go to pieces

[@livebeyondloss]

Hi Jo Jo - I get it. This is all so very fresh for you. Everything I spoke about in my talk, it was because of my journey. I didn’t have the capacity early on to put my life back together. The good news is, you don’t have to walk this path alone. Sending love to you.

[@pamspencer5733]

5 mins at a time.Deep breathe work,Cold showers,stay in your body as my Dr.says..You don't have to do anything dear..Be very gentle to yourself .Light a 🕯️ every 🌃 night,pray. Perhaps plant a beautiful tree in his name .Love & Light❣️🌅💪

[@victhatsme]

Zoi sounds like an amazing human, I feel like sometimes people like that are just too precious for the world and the only solace you can take is that they're no longer in pain.

[@thisismindfulness]

Grief is such a world changing process to go through - this man clearly has a beautiful perspective and is doing his best to make a difference. We appreciate you Eric!

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you very much for the kinds words. I hope the talk helped some.

[@alisonjanicewhite]

Living beyond loss as he puts it is one of the hardest things to do.

[@livebeyondloss]

It really is, Alison. And it takes a combination of your willingness to keep going even on days when it feels like you won’t make it, and time.

[@magaliegoulet]

It's so hard to explain what a loss like this feels like. So many unanswered questions and then underneath all that wondering if you did things differently there's the knowledge that nothing you could have done would have changed it. When people truly want to leave the world - apart from sitting with them and watching them every second - there's nothing we can do to stop it

[@livebeyondloss]

Magalie - Thank you for saying this. I do wish we could reach into the lives of those who are struggling. Yes, SO many questions. What I've found is that those questions of "Why?" won't get answered fully, but the questions of "What?", will get answered because it's up to us to answer those. Not only that, you heal and build strength/resilience in taking these steps.... For example "What am I going to do about my grief?" Or, "What am I going to do to help others?" "What is something that I can do today for myself (because it's ok to do that?" ...

[@jamesdigriz5449]

The next level's pain is of parents who lost their only child, and who can't redirect their love on the other child.

[@maihoang8567]

Just happened to me recently.

[@jamesdigriz5449]

@@maihoang8567 I'm so sorry for your loss... It's not even a loss but a nightmare I can't even imagine... Please try to find a new meaning and purpose in life, don't give up. Doing some volunteer or social work is said to help with a depression.

[@8xhausted8]

I lost my 4 month old Zoie March 25th 2018. Even called her zo-zo aswell. People that never experienced this dont know. Its april 2020 and i still cry everyday

[@livebeyondloss]

8xhausted8 I know this is not easy for you. There are better days ahead and reconnecting yourself with love - of yourself, others and of Life will help.

[@8xhausted8]

@@livebeyondloss there a way to email you?

[@yohannarosquete1100]

I understand exactly what your going thru. My son died today. In 2 days he would have been exactly 4 months old...... I'm numb and I don't know how I'm going to on but I will cause that's what my son would have wanted me to do. I miss him....I miss the toothless smile and him cooing at me to get my attention. I can't be in the house

[@8xhausted8]

@@yohannarosquete1100 im so sorry for your loss. Maybe she will teach him the ways of heaven. That just broke me down reading this

[@livebeyondloss]

@@yohannarosquete1100 - How are you doing?

[@veronicamack9493]

My husband died by suicide 30 years ago- it was a terribly difficult time I'll never forget. Your words are inspiring to me all these years later, Eric. Thank you so much for sharing this after your unimaginable loss.

[@livebeyondloss]

Sending love to you, Veronica. I’m sure it’s been difficult. Thank you for the very kind words.

[@joopanders]

As a father of 3 daughters I am awestruck by his strength and my angst, this will sit in me for a long time.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you very much for the kind words, Joop.

[@mjramirez1971]

I lost my oldest daughter in Jan 2019 to suicide. She was 24. FAITH has gotten me through this. I will share my story at some point. Thanks for this video and keep up your encouragement.

[@livebeyondloss]

jodi hunter I’m sorry to hear about your daughter, Jodi. Sending love to you. ❤️

[@mjramirez1971]

@@livebeyondloss Thank you for your kind words

[@EricDenny]

I'm sorry for your loss. Ive also lost both my children. Also my father recently. I'm completely alone. I really just don't have any reason or desire to get up or survive at all. Many people say that "faith" keeps them going. I don't understand why or how that helps? How can faith give me a reason to live? They seem like totally unrelated things to me. I have plenty of faith. Faith in existence of God. Faith in humanity. Faith in a benevolent afterlife where love will be something other than a harbinger of torturous, permanent pain for me. That faith just makes me question why on earth I choose to continue living on earth instead of moving on... I have faith in the earth, ground and sky as well. How can that help? So many say it is the reason they want to live. Can you help me to understand how to turn my belief in God into a desire to live this life in this physical body? Maybe I misunderstand what people mean by "faith"?

[@elizabethcruz7833]

@@EricDenny hi! To me it's faith that you WILL see your loved ones again. Faith that your pain will develop into meaning. Faith in yourself to never give up. Faith in the promises of God, that He will sustain you and carry you through this. Faith that you will feel joy again. Faith that your heart will be healed and restored. I lost my son 7 years ago, he was 17 days old. I'm glad I'm on the other side of pain, I didn't think I would ever get here. Now I am in school to become a Therapist. I want to dedicate my life to help others who are in pain. My pain turned into meaning and intention to help others. I hope and pray that you get to the other side of pain too. My faith helped me get here. Please don't give up.

[@anitakaul4228]

Hi Jodi I lost my older daughter in March 2019 when she was 21. I still feel guilty that she did suicide because i cold not teach her how to deal with emotions and stay strong. I feel i failed as mother. Everyday i apologize but nothing helping me. ...please help i want to come out of this guilt

[@Therealspence]

It's so hard not to blame yourself or ask if you did enough for the person you've lost but ultimately if they really want to die, nothing is going to stop them from achieving that.

[@mentorcounsellingcentre9931]

Death is hurting but a reality we have to experience. We need to console each other

[@livebeyondloss]

Definitely consoling each other is a good thing.

[@logger22]

Recently, one of my friends died in a 6x6 wreck at the age of 16. She was a lovely girl who left behind dozens of good people, including her parents. The preacher at her funeral talked about how when he told her father about how God must've taken her for a reason, which he responded "Why would he take her?" which we all knew that she brought so much happiness in his life. I've told a lot of people that the best thing they could do is move on and grow, but here I am in their shoes, too. R.I.P. Alana Parker "Laneybug" August 13th, 2004 - May 12th, 2020

[@livebeyondloss]

Sending love to you. Losing someone is never easy.

[@logger22]

@@livebeyondloss thank you

[@mimimi9169]

They always take away those who’s brought a lot of happiness to other people’s lives. Life is unfair that way

[@logger22]

@@mimimi9169 I know. Sometimes I forget that she's gone and expect to see her this upcoming school year. As if it never even happened.

[@jayjaychadoy9226]

My darling loved son died this year 2021. I went to see where he suicided, yesterday. It was a more peaceful place than I thought. I feared it since February, it’s not that scary. I thought about what he was thinking that day, that morning on the way to work. I rode the train and back to where he died. I was almost happy to be there, I didn’t even cry. We have not had a memorial yet, it’s so daunting. He was so loved by all he knew, and hearts he touched. Thanks for reminding me we can continue to help each other. I’m finding strength again not as fast as I want, but hopefully fast enough. Love you son, forever.

[@livebeyondloss]

Sending a lot of love to you. I know this isn’t easy.

[@lorrainegracelacson]

Too many young people are not being heard or saved, bless this man for trying to help!

[@diegofashiondesign]

It is a tough world these days.

[@cmoberg2036]

First of all..bless this father for having the courage to speak of his daughter's suicide...and how we..those left behind..can go on. We lost our son, Michael, in 2009 a victim of suicide. I don't remember the first 2 years...time passes but it was like I was living in two worlds...a world of gut wrenching sorrow and one of a reality I was out of step with. Often just trying to breathe was all I could do. I had to survive for my husband and our other children. I don't say it is better..I tell people it gets easier to carry. My husband had lost a daughter to cancer before we met....how can he go forward after losing two children. ..I don't know. I guess I just clung to hope that someday all the pain will be turned to joy.

[@livebeyondloss]

Sending a lot of love to you both. Similar to what you said, the sharp edges soften over time, but they will always be there. I appreciate the comment. ❤️

[@tibogoth]

Ahhh the stories about her wake and all her friends saying lovely things about her had me in tears, especially right after her saying how she really didn't have any friends.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you Tibo. I appreciate it your kind words. Zoi is an amazing soul and always will be.

[@joannenascimento9213]

People show up and are 'friends' when you die.

[@pamcampbell3920]

You are not done. That's gold.

[@livebeyondloss]

thank you!

[@thisisjustright]

My heart goes out to Eric, truly, any suicide leaves behind so many questions, I can't imagine how magnified that would be when it's your own child.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words.

[@cherylannpalmer6597]

I’m so blessed to find this now my beautiful nephew is gone after 3 weeks from suicide the last person you would ever imagine. I just feel so badly for their family. Thank so much

[@livebeyondloss]

I'm sorry to hear about your nephew. I'm sure it's not easy. Sending you and the family a lot of love.

[@kristianzlee]

I read somewhere that just being born is like having a shovel of dirt thrown on to the spark within our spirit. It made me think of people I know who sound a lot like Zoi, and how much they struggled with life. I think for some people just existing in a world like this - one that's so different to what the natural order of things should be - it's just too much, just being here is too much pain for their beautiful, sensitive spirits.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you Kristian. I agree that Zoi was highly sensitive yet also highly connected to the people in her life and to life itself. I’ve learned so much by being her dad. I appreciate your words.

[@savannahskylar]

Survival is not the end game- this is a deep thought to take on board.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you! It is definitely a deep thought to take on.

[@davidhanson8232]

That acknowledgement that the transition from psychiatric care to ‘normal life’ is difficult is a conversation that needs to happen more

[@livebeyondloss]

I agree David, it does.

[@jackpemble7972]

I lost my childhood best friend by suicide, last year. Still struggling now, this man is such an inspiration will show too his parents

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank your for the kind words, Jack. I know it’s not easy - so many questions. Everyone did as much as they could for your friend. Sending love to you and his parents.

[@elainarogers]

It's a tough one, hope you all have support

[@shamikbanerjee5279]

The fact that Zoey was a radiant source of inspiration to many, is highly noble and painful at the same time. True it is that people who are themselves suffering, donate the most by helping, giving them hope, listening, inspiring, being with them and through every way possible. It is because they know what it feels like to be depressed, so they try to allay others and find relief in their happiness. May Zoey's soul be at peace. You are a strong father, Mr. Eric and I believe your words will act as strength and hope for many. God bless you🙏

[@orlaithhill]

It sounds like you raised a beautiful human. While her life was cut short, she was so so beautiful.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words

[@farahjuniper9214]

What amazing advice for him to give to Jerry, and an incredibly example of what happens when we channel our pain into our passion and transmute all the energy of those emotions into creativity and productivity.

[@livebeyondloss]

Jerry is still rocking out! But he's done an amazing job at working on his resilience over the last few years... He's an incredible person. Thank you for the kind words.

[@kashaiq]

Oh my stars 5 minutes in and I'm already weeping.

[@livebeyondloss]

I'm sorry this hurt to watch, but please know that there is joy in honoring Zoi and my life at the same time now. It's ok to do both. Thanks for commenting here.

[@jean4157]

Lost my son. It’s impossible to describe. I feel so much for everyone in this awful situation

[@livebeyondloss]

Sending love Jean. I know this is not easy. ❤️

[@foxydnav1]

Hope you are doing better now maam, sending you love Take care of yourself :))

[@sunniblacc78]

You have my deepest condolences I lost both of my boys to gun violence two months ago I feel your pain.🙏🏿💔😥

[@bugsysiegel3896]

God Bless You and Your Child 😇🙏

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words.

[@micheletracy535]

I lost my daughter to suicide in June of 2018. I so needed to hear this. Thankyou Sir.

[@livebeyondloss]

Michele - Sending love to you. I know this is not easy. Thank you for the kind words.

[@amelieseydoux1208]

Such a beautiful soul, still answering comments on this video after 3 years to help other people. Thank you for what you do, big hug.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words. If someone is taking the time to watch this video, and taking time to comment in a helpful, supportive way, I feel it’s important to take the time to respond. I hope it helps in some way.

[@williammathews1648]

He is inspiring and humbling. Something many of us should strive to be.

[@jaradpd]

Being a parent is difficult at the best of times but I cant imagine what it would be like to feel so close to your child and have this happen. Shattering.

[@tellyourstorynow]

truth

[@livebeyondloss]

Hey Jarad, thank you for the kind words. Losing Zoi was shattering, and in the time since then, the best that I can do to keep going is to help others who are struggling with their loss. I hope this talk helped you in some way.

[@melrobertsreal]

It's crushing to think that someone is in so much pain that suicide is the only option.

[@livebeyondloss]

Mel, you are right... It is so hard to comprehend this. There is work to do to help those that are struggling to find BETTER options than this.. Thank you.

[@marisolroman0-0]

Thanks Eric for having the courage to share your story. As a parent I cannot imagine your pain.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words, Marisol. I appreciate it.

[@rickylegendesq.514]

I needed this right now. I didn't go looking for anything like this but it found me when I needed it to.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words, Ricky. I appreciate it. I hope it helps in some way.

[@rickylegendesq.514]

@@livebeyondloss it genuinely helped immensely. My family lost my father to pancreatic cancer last month on the 14th. At the beginning of Oct. 2020 his medical team gave him a general 3-6 months terminal diagnosis. He held on for 3x longer than their best case scenario. A few weeks after my dad's diagnosis, my wife received a terminal diagnosis for End Stage Liver Disease (ESLD). We were told she had a maximum of somewhere south of 2 years but more than likely it would be less than 1. We inadvertently saw some correspondence between a specialist we'd seen and a rep from an organ & tissue bank where the specialist had stated she would be "absolutely shocked" if she was still here come Halloween. Well she held on until after Halloween and even past her birthday which was the day after Thanksgiving this year. I know she was looking at holding on until Christmas but last Thursday at 2 minutes before noon she just couldn't do it anymore. Mornings and earlier in the day are hardest now that I wake up with just the cat in bed with me and I try not to let myself stay that way for too long. I give myself a good amount of time to let as much out as I can but my wife wouldn't want me to stay in that sad place all the time. Most days there's some catalyst that brings me back to the real world like a large truck driving by or hearing the mail being delivered. Today it happened to be your Ted Talk autoplaying immediately after whatever the previous video was that I'd completely lost interest in. I apologize for the long response but if you made it to this point then thank you again so very much. I didn't learn anything that I didn't already know besides your incredibly inspiring story. Your video helped me to remember some things that I totally didn't realize I really needed to remember right now. I don't know why I just put all of this out there but I genuinely do not feel like it was all for nothing or that I've wasted any of my time doing it.

[@livebeyondloss]

@@rickylegendesq.514 well said Ricky. Sending love to you. Keep going sir. Better days are ahead.

[@janiceglanders]

suicide has affected my family too, and it's very heartening to hear folks out there doing their best to help people get through their own losses. thanks, Eric.

[@livebeyondloss]

Glad it could help some, Janice. That is the goal of this talk - to give other hope that better days are ahead after the loss of a loved one.

[@CH-hm8ud]

Very sorry for your lost, and I wish I can say it will be better, but it’s not. I lost my 18 years old from CHF, 3 years ago ago, and I still cry every day, and you fight everyday with, “ what I if”. Only those who has pass through the same struggle can understand you!

[@emma.st.charles]

So many heartbreaking stories. I am sorry to hear this happened

[@thatguy6699]

Lost my brother a few weeks ago. Although the didn’t kill himself I believe his lifestyle was his demise. Thank you for the words.

[@livebeyondloss]

Sorry to hear about your brother. Losing any loved one is not easy. I hope this helped some.

[@elizabethbernard3135]

At least he's in a better place. I hope you're okay.

[@thebusker1609]

He is a champion of parents doing this tough stuff

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words.

[@pascaldegarde6756]

In listening to this talk, I wonder why we have this burden to carry, this loss to lose, this joy to remember. Life has texture, depth, emotion and I can't help but wonder how much of it is real. The power of creation is always at play in our lives.

[@livebeyondloss]

Well said, sir.

[@fibby-enymore6601]

You are amazing dear..well said..thanx

[@iamdadubdab]

My prayers to you and your loved ones.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words.

[@maehaslet]

I have watched Eric and this talk a few times now because it helps remind me I am not alone in this grief and there is a light.

[@livebeyondloss]

Mae - Sending you a lot of love. I know this is not easy and thank you for the kind words. There is a light. We can move towards that light and still honor our loved ones. It’s ok to do both.

[@aylamorris]

Oh this gentle man, I feel for him and his pain so much.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you very much, Ayla. I really do appreciate your kind words.

[@lynnecousins]

Please don't place me in box, in life or in death. I needed to write this to be heard. Thank you.

[@smileyladyT]

Grief is different for everyone. There are times when I am fine and happy and enjoy life and then there are days that I am reminded of my loved ones by a song or smell or an event that I wish they could be here for, that is what makes me sad. And that’s okay too but I know that they are with me in my heart…. The love I have for them will never go away, so in a way wherever I go or whatever I do they are with me. 🙏🏼

[@livebeyondloss]

Well said, Smiley. The love will never go away. True!

[@umwooyou]

Thank you! I lost my 9 year old daughter to brain cancer 2 months ago. I know she is with us all the time. I know I will have a big hole in my heart forever, and I have to endure the pain for the rest of my life. I will be strong. I know that what she wants me to do.

[@livebeyondloss]

Yong - Sending you so much love. I know this is not easy at all. I wish you all the love and peace. It will be ok.

[@nataliyabelova]

Loss and grief can be consuming, so much of it is has to do with us feeling confused asking why and how. All we can do is move forward.

[@w.k.7277]

I found this video because I desperately want to take my own life but the only thing that stopped me is a thought that my parents will be sad. I was given googling ways of dying which doesn't make parents too sad. They're in their 70s now and very ill. However, after this wonderful speech, I feel that perhaps they might get over my death faster and that I should follow my desires and they should live their lives.

[@livebeyondloss]

Please reach out to the suicide hotline if you're struggling. If your parents are in their 70's and very ill, taking your life won't make their life easier in any way. Please know that there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my daughter. It hurts. I would prefer that she was here. As a parent, or anyone that loses a loved one, you are never fully "over" the loss. And, everyone grieves differently. Please reach out to the suicide hotline.

[@livebeyondloss]

Hey there - Just checking in with you W.K. Have you reached out to someone. Have you reached out to the Suicide Hotline?

[@livebeyondloss]

Suicide hotline - 800-273-8255

[@natalyaguilerafigueroa]

So many people here in the comments with similar experiences, I hope all of you find some meaning and healing ❤

[@livebeyondloss]

I hope so too. Thank you Nataly.

[@kenurizar2501]

I cannot fathom the horribleness of finding your own child in that state. This man is brave

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words. It’s been a journey to move beyond that moment and find the beauty in life again.

[@mariocy]

as a father I have no words, but only admiration for this fine man.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words, Mario.

[@joannemates6367]

I’m very fortunate I have not lost a child and I hope never to. However, as someone who has battled chronic depression for over 40 years, I have been in that dark place several times and have nearly ended my life. I have experienced a lot of grief and trauma in my life. Severe childhood and generational trauma. I also lost a partner in a hit and run 13 years ago. I’m 47 now and I have been working with a brilliant psychologist for the last 2 and a half years, who has taught me skills to totally change my life. Im also a teacher and writing my very first book on this very topic. Grief, trauma, loss and my journey towards healing. I’m not just surviving now, I’m thriving! I have never been happier! Brilliant TED Talk! Gorgeous Man!! Cheers, from Country Victoria. Australia. ✌️

[@livebeyondloss]

Joanne! What a wonderful way to repurpose your scars in the service of others! Check back in when your book is published!

[@danabailey3887]

Thank you for Joanne! I also have suffered with depression for 18 years and reading your story has given me such hope. I haven't been able to find a good therapist in a couple of years and you have reminded me why it's so important! Here's to Thriving! You beautiful human!

[@joannemates6367]

@@danabailey3887 Hey Dana, Thank you for your very kind, beautiful words. When I started working with my psychologist I use to say, she saved my life. Now I say, she taught me skills to process my trauma and grief, heal and save my own life! “Where there is hope, there is life!!” Feel free to find me on Facebook. Same name, different pic. Sending you so much love, strength and peace. Xxx

[@finntwebster]

It hard. Reading Eric's responses in these comments though... What a beautiful man.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words, Finn. I hope this helps some.

[@alanwoopchuck]

Reading the comments for this is just as inspiring and heartbreaking as the talk itself. So many people seeking connection and comfort after such traumatic loss, and so much strength to continue to live. My heart goes out to all of you.

[@caroldendy851]

i feel the same way about this talk!

[@sheryldabose1988]

He has a really beautiful energy about him. His strength is helping many, you can tell.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you, Sheryl. I appreciate your kind words. I hope the talk helped some.

[@alextoutaev]

I can't even imagine the pain you must have had to wade through to get where you are now. What an amazing human!! Thank you for your words!

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you, Alex. I hope this helps you in some way.

[@alextoutaev]

@@livebeyondloss It has in many ways, seeing good people get through pain puts many things in perspective. Bless you

[@laurenstynes]

these comments. Eric, thank you for taking this on.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you, Laurens.

[@sonthibutsalee]

My goodness, I am attempting to hold back the tears but it is useless. I feel for Eric, I can't even imagine.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you, Sonthi. I am in a better place now. Thank you for the comment.

[@barryhampton6270]

Excellent talk sir! Bravo! My 3 year old son died 5 years ago and what you said helped me a lot. I wrote a book on our life together...what a great talk this was! thank you sir

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you Barry. I'm glad it helps some. And I appreciate the kind words.

[@moyaresgard]

Strong, open loving man. Such a story, I am crying.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you very much for the kind words, Moya.

[@mymotivationsnow]

Zoi sounds like such a beautiful spirit, know that it still lives inside you and within the universe ❤❤

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you. I agree. She's an old soul with a lot of love that I still feel strongly.

[@softermalik4253]

I dont why I am feeling the pain. You're a great man and very bold one. May the Almighty ALLAH have mercy upon your daughter and all other human beings. May we have motivation to help others and share their pain and make their lives easier. Thank you so much for your video.

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you for the kind words, Softer.

[@tommybutler2454]

That helped a little. Thank you ❤ 🙏

[@livebeyondloss]

I'm glad it helped some. Thank you for watching and commenting.

[@sandraburthill]

Love at it's truest. To have been through what Eric has and to now doing this work is a testament of his strength. This world is a better place for having had his beautiful daughter in it, even if only for a short while. Thank you Eric

[@livebeyondloss]

Thank you, Sandra. I really appreciate the kind words about Zoi bringing so much to this world - even if for 15-years. She has touched so many lives. I am eternally grateful that I got to be her dad. :)

[@yuvallove]

Going to the beach in the middle of winter is such a beautiful and underrated experience

[@livebeyondloss]

It very much is. You're so right! Thank you for the kind words.