Should You Quit Your Job?

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Adam Savage’s Tested

Adam Savage’s Tested

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 524
@made4
@made4 10 ай бұрын
"If you are imparting shame on someone else, you are wasting everyone's time". Adam you are a legend!
@--..-...-..-.--....
@--..-...-..-.--.... 10 ай бұрын
Time."
@specsix
@specsix 8 ай бұрын
@@--..-...-..-.--.... someone needs to go touch grass. What a weirdo
@jacobclassen5608
@jacobclassen5608 2 күн бұрын
🙏
@QS-si3cq
@QS-si3cq 10 ай бұрын
I've been trying to find a job for 9 months. Thank you for being so transparent with the admission that you had a safety nets via your parents. Many people tell their stories and leave those things out, which is a very big difference.
@RG-sv4qb
@RG-sv4qb 10 ай бұрын
I was stuck in a job I hated for 17 years, I was too ashamed to ask for help from my family as I wanted to be an adult. But last year I couldn't take anymore, I quit my job and had to rely on my family support for a year to retrain and look for a job. Best decision I ever made. I found a new job and although my life isnt perfect, it's so much better than it was. My advise to my younger self would be swallow your pride, go life back with your parents if you are able... No point being an adult if you are miserable . Obviously I'm privileged to have parents in that position... My point is don't suff r in silence if you have other options
@foxy00008
@foxy00008 10 ай бұрын
Adam's honesty here is to be admired. I have had the same privilege of having some minor financial support from family whilst trying to setup a business, and whilst I applaud the bravery of anyone who did take the plunge on their own, I can only imagine there are a huge amount of stories out there similar to Adam's (and mine). It can be hard to set aside your pride to ask for that help/safety net, but it can truly be life changing if you are lucky enough to have that olive branch extended to you. There's no guarantee it will be there, but if you don't ask/explore, the answer is always no!
@PocketBrain
@PocketBrain 10 ай бұрын
Yes, I should quit my job.
@PocketBrain
@PocketBrain 10 ай бұрын
NGL, my first reaction, and it isn't changing with reflection.
@gunnargrubbs3123
@gunnargrubbs3123 10 ай бұрын
Do it!
@Ibetyouwillreportmebcursoftaf
@Ibetyouwillreportmebcursoftaf 10 ай бұрын
I just did
@dcallan812
@dcallan812 10 ай бұрын
As long as you still have a way to make an income. I did 20 years ago. 👍👍
@SpartanArmy117
@SpartanArmy117 10 ай бұрын
Yeah having the same feeling. I wouldn't without lining something up first though.
@canadiancombatwombatthe3rd782
@canadiancombatwombatthe3rd782 9 ай бұрын
Signs you should quit your job? You're here watching this video.
@JoyTuub
@JoyTuub 10 ай бұрын
I start my new job Monday. Quitting my last job was the biggest feeling of relief. 13 years in an increasingly toxic environment. New job doesn't pay half what the old one did, but will have a huge amount of freedom. Just working by myself to get my job done. I cannot express how much better my mental state has been since I left.
@tested
@tested 10 ай бұрын
Congrats on the new job!
@jothain
@jothain 10 ай бұрын
Good for you. If things get really bad, that's the correct choice. I left one job cause of insanely boring work, most hostile work staff I've ever even heard of and piss poor salary. Even if salary would've been good I absolutely would've resigned.
@LordTrousers
@LordTrousers 10 ай бұрын
I think the major difference between critique and criticism is not just "be nice about it" but also "make sure you're suggesting solutions, being as descriptive as possible, and working towards that solution together, not just pointing out problems and pointing fingers for blame".
@briandeschene8424
@briandeschene8424 10 ай бұрын
Agreeing with you since I think that is why the phrase *constructive* criticism exists. If something is not constructive, it is destructive and therefore not a critique but just criticism.
@ampadedoda5027
@ampadedoda5027 10 ай бұрын
I've always used the phrase, "Here is how i would do it and why ido it this way." If you explain why you do something a certain way, it opens up the discussion as to why you do something a certain way. And a lot of times i learn something to and we both come up with a better way to do something.
@BrandanLee
@BrandanLee 10 ай бұрын
Critique happens during the process. Criticism happens afterwards. One is useful at the time, the other is meant to be in general. Which is why I say critique is a selfless collaborative process, and criticism is inherently political.
@Jimorian
@Jimorian 10 ай бұрын
And IF you decide to make a specific suggestion towards a solution, make sure you caveat it that the idea is merely to engage the thought process, and the person can use it or not. It's even more satisfying when an idea leads to them coming up with a different solution!
@MMuraseofSandvich
@MMuraseofSandvich 10 ай бұрын
"not just pointing out problems and pointing fingers..." Is the latter actually necessary? If the guy cares at all, they're already kicking themselves. Why add insult to injury at that point?
@AlbertaTrailCams
@AlbertaTrailCams 10 ай бұрын
When I left my job, I was no longer angry as I had been for too long. I had this calming confidence that it was the right move. It was my fear that I'd leave and immediately regret it, but it's been 3 years, and I don't even think about it. I never wasted a thought, even wondering what happened after I left.
@timothyhoff97
@timothyhoff97 10 ай бұрын
I love the "tile" analogy. Having just one extra tile (parent's bank account, a partner with a really solid job, etc) makes it so much easier to maneuver the rest.
@GameFrank
@GameFrank 10 ай бұрын
I appreciate that Adam is slowly turning into Dr. Emmett Brown.
@deannahirbawi7639
@deannahirbawi7639 10 ай бұрын
Good one!
@chelseawhite7117
@chelseawhite7117 10 ай бұрын
I love how respectful Adam is towards everyone. He’s always very respectful and admiring when talking about his wife, which a lot of people don’t do that, but also he never even shit-talks either his ex wife even though there were custody battles; or Jamie, and we all know that they were never personal friends. He still exudes respect. Even this bad supervisor under Bicentennial Man, he only points out what the person did wrong; he doesn’t get personal or vitriolic about it. I just love his example.
@realSethMeyers
@realSethMeyers 10 ай бұрын
11:09 Adam, I want to thank you for acknowledging this privilege, I really respect your honesty. Many successful people choose to ignore that part of reality, and it can be very discouraging for those trying to climb up, if we're all suffering under the illusion that everyone who's successful got there alone via their own bootstraps.
@motorv8N
@motorv8N 10 ай бұрын
Definitely- that’s a huge admission lots of people wouldn’t make. An already super credible guy has bumped up a couple notches in my view.
@marcwolf60
@marcwolf60 2 ай бұрын
After 45 years in the IT industry I decided to retire at 60. I was burning out, I could never take holidays due to constant emergencies due to budget cuts and cost cutting, and I could nolonger keep upto date with the changes in my industry. Also my partner of 27 years passed away. This crystalised my choice to retire and seek new pastures. Now 64 and happily retired living in rainforest.
@chickenspy1854
@chickenspy1854 10 ай бұрын
A lot of people argue that college was not as useful as we all hoped, but if there’s one thing I took away from college that has helped me immensely throughout my career, it was how to take brutal critique. You take critique from your mentors, your colleagues, and most surprisingly your friends. Differentiating between personal attacks and critique becomes real easy when one minute your closest friend is tearing your work apart in front of 30 people and the next you both are enjoying lunch together as if nothing ever happened.
@Felice_Enellen
@Felice_Enellen 10 ай бұрын
Adam, for what it's worth, some of us who are the common denominator in all of the interpersonal problems _do_ eventually have the epiphany that yes, indeed, _we_ are the problem. It was painful and shameful and I carry a lot of guilt and still make a lot of apologies to people who probably haven't thought of me in a decade or more, but it changed my life and the lives of people around me for the best and I am always so happy to hear someone like you, who is deeply respected for their wisdom while also being a relatable person, trying to point it out for others like me to at least _start_ letting the idea sink in. Keep doing your good works. ❤️
@placer7412
@placer7412 10 ай бұрын
Be my problem please
@Felice_Enellen
@Felice_Enellen 10 ай бұрын
@@placer7412 Already taken, sorry. :) Good luck out there!
@BlackEagle352
@BlackEagle352 10 ай бұрын
*shameful
@Felice_Enellen
@Felice_Enellen 10 ай бұрын
@@BlackEagle352 Oh thanks, not sure how I missed that! XD How "shamful" of me. ;)
@JamesTirone-bd7rz
@JamesTirone-bd7rz 8 ай бұрын
Wait their are others who think like this as well...wtf..
@lollipopmissfit
@lollipopmissfit 10 ай бұрын
I recently quit my job on my birthday 😂. My soul needed it. Sometimes you gotta quit to grow as a person. After almost 5 years of being with the company. Didn't leave because of the company but because of the management and how they manipulate the system.
@bruceblack9975
@bruceblack9975 10 ай бұрын
That’s my problem
@cummerou1
@cummerou1 10 ай бұрын
There's a great saying I heard, people don't quit because of bad companies, they quit because of bad managers
@Adiera
@Adiera 10 ай бұрын
I also did this last summer, same reason. Never felt better about my work life because on my last day one of my customers (I was a delivery person) offered me a job. Such a better place and really like my managers now!
@skie6282
@skie6282 10 ай бұрын
Literally why im leaving
@chevystuffs5971
@chevystuffs5971 10 ай бұрын
It’s really nice to hear successful people acknowledge they have a backstop. Good on you for mentioning it Adam.
@SuperAlex0902
@SuperAlex0902 10 ай бұрын
You acknowledged your parent’s money as a fall back was so impressive. Most successful people pretend they did it alone but your saying specifically that it was an advantage gave me that much more respect for you. Adam for PRESIDENT!
@FishingWithLardAlmighty
@FishingWithLardAlmighty 10 ай бұрын
I have quit two jobs in my life. I knew it was time to quit not because I was looking for excuses to leave, but because I was looking for excuses to stay.
@danielland3767
@danielland3767 10 ай бұрын
Adam I'm not sure if you see this but most of your maker advice (98%) applies to every industry (military, manufacturing, gig work [rideshare etc], CSR) that I've been in. Some of the best critiques I've gotten & given are from a place of "I see your effort and ability but you can do this better" and it 98% yields the best responses from my subordinates then and as a team member now. P.S. I'm also super inspired to build things with old household items (old juice containers, lids for wheels, etc), gule gun, excato knife and unused hair beads to make anything with my kids, it feels good to get back to basics of building something with leftovers
@jaredrivera2619
@jaredrivera2619 10 ай бұрын
What has been really helpful for me a supervisor over the years is to be completely transparent in the errors and then be supportive when they get upset. I will often get asked why didn't you punish me for this mistake? You know you messed up and are upset about it, why would I pile on when you're clearly punishing yourself about it. People that care already beat themselves up over things they did wrong. Those are the ones you need to fight super hard to keep and defend from shit rolling downhill.
@plav032
@plav032 10 ай бұрын
Good supervisors make all the difference, especially when you have someone aware like yourself, the difference is you can recognize your own mistakes and self-improve, others might not be able to.
@ampadedoda5027
@ampadedoda5027 10 ай бұрын
I messed up really bad today at work and my mentor did exactly this. He told me how i messed up and made me fix it. Nothing else, i learned what i did wrong, what happens when said this isnt done right and how to fix it when it does get messed up. We are only human and shit goes wrong. Its how you deal with it after is what matters.
@markedis5902
@markedis5902 10 ай бұрын
I think you would be a really good person to work for. I’ve had good and bad bosses and what you described is how it should be. The people who worked for me always knew that they could come to me with anything without any fear of being chastised . If they screwed up, the sooner we knew about it the easier it was to fix and if I could, I’d involve them in the fix as much as possible as they then felt better about it when things were fixed. I was lucky as a manager that I had really good people working for me who cared about what they did.
@Dillon-117
@Dillon-117 10 ай бұрын
That right there. I'm also a supe, and I have someone that I KNOW when I give them feedback, no matter what I will say to them, they have already said worse. And I tell them that I'm not telling them they are terrible at their job, or that they are horrible. I'm letting them know their mistake so that they can do better next time. Because that's all I want is for them to do better. So long as they keep improving, I'm not upset.
@custos3249
@custos3249 10 ай бұрын
I try to do the same thanks to all the garbage supervisors I've had. The worst was from an "expert" on a psychological diagnosis the field collectively doesn't agree there's a single good, let alone best, approach to address. They had little to say beyond "the only reason you're not a piece of shit is because you feel bad." Um...thanks? What am I supposed to do with that? Especially since she wasn't responding to your ancient tactics that everyone else already tried. 48th time is a charm? I should've filed a formal complaint with the state licence board.
@holmes2210
@holmes2210 10 ай бұрын
Legit taking this as a sign, I've been considering quitting my job for a while and then I decided to go watch a tested video for the first time in a while and this is what I opened it to
@lydiakies9053
@lydiakies9053 10 ай бұрын
I lost count of the times I yelled "thank you!" at the screen. I needed this video this morning.
@nocobirds
@nocobirds 10 ай бұрын
I love when you “get into the weeds”. This video touched on some very good points about critique vs. criticism. Anyone who has had music lessons (raises hand for 15 years worth) has been subject to critiques. I believe that musical training (or sports, etc.) teaches us to accept and learn from constructive critique. It is not supposed to be criticism,and it helps us in our future work lives.
@Suspense1376
@Suspense1376 10 ай бұрын
When I think about constructive critique I always think about how some people aren’t looking for or aren’t ready for it like you’ve said and I have found that it not only needs to be constructive but also kind. Your tone, choice of words, approach to how you present your critique matters a lot too. Approaching every situation with a little empathy works wonders.
@hadawaco
@hadawaco 10 ай бұрын
Adam your timing is impeccable with these videos related around negativity at work, I'm currently dealing with alot of work related drama and these videos are a comfort
@pugthemaster8
@pugthemaster8 10 ай бұрын
I left the navy with no job outlook and no idea what I was going to do. My wife backed me the entire way and now my job is literally what I dreamed of as a kid, but was always told it would never happen
@hansblitz7770
@hansblitz7770 10 ай бұрын
Heck yeah bro
@suyashkumar2757
@suyashkumar2757 10 ай бұрын
Awesome man, can I ask what it is that you do now? I'd love to achieve this someday.
@pugthemaster8
@pugthemaster8 10 ай бұрын
@@suyashkumar2757 I work for a small railroad
@CommanderHuggins
@CommanderHuggins 10 ай бұрын
I was a supervisor for about a year. Ultimately I decided it wasn't the job for me, but I had some good role models and learned a lot. One skill in particular that I had to learn was how to approach critique. And for me there were a few components to that skill. First was emotion. As a supervisor or leader, especially a new one, it can be easy to bring emotions into those conversations. And it can be any number of different emotions. You can be upset that a job isn't being done right. You can feel insecure about talking to someone about it. You can feel afraid that the conversation will turn into a conflict. But it's important that you don't bring those emotions to the table. If you bring negative emotions into the conversation then you very well might be the one creating the conflict. So if you feel something like that then you need to take a step back, ask yourself questions, and figure out why you're feeling those things. Address the conflict in yourself first and then approach the other person. You need to be calm and self assured. Remember, the goal is to improve the situation. Second, when you're going to critique someone's work make sure that you yourself have a clear understanding about it and can effectively communicate your thoughts. No one can read your mind. If you come in with only partial knowledge or a vague idea of what you're looking for then you'll never get the results you want. If there's an objective that isn't being met then that means the person working on it likely doesn't have a clear understanding of it either. You can't expect them to know how to change things if you can't explain it. And third, keep in mind two things. You don't know the whole situation and the person you're talking to most likely isn't trying to do a bad job. So when you approach these conversations, start by asking questions. Ask them what they're up to. Ask what their thought process is. And most importantly, be curious and listen to their answers. They might know something you don't. Maybe there are special circumstances. Maybe the customer asked for a change. Maybe they don't have all the tools they need. If their answers explain the situation then great, you can go from there and figure out what, if anything needs to change. If they don't, then you can probe a little bit deeper. Let them know directly, "x thing that you're doing doesn't match up with y expectation. Is there anything going on that changed things? Do you need any help? Does the way I've explained things make sense?" By asking questions and letting the person answer you can make things feel a little more collaborative for them rather than confrontational. There's always that one person who will get upset no matter how tactfully you approach them. But for the most part if you approach situations with a calm, clear mind, know exactly what you need and how to communicate it, ask questions, and listen to your people, then these conversations often aren't all that bad. Go in with the goal of improving the situation and giving the person the chance to shine. If they don't shine then you can talk to them again and try to figure out why. And if no matter what they just don't show improvement then you might consider having a more serious talk with them. But that's a different topic.
@ExperienceExplorers
@ExperienceExplorers 10 ай бұрын
Adam, always love your care and thoughtfulness in seeking to provide careful and honest answers - appreciate you! keep doing what you're doing!
@EJG8894
@EJG8894 10 ай бұрын
I’ve been watching you as a fellow maker, but I’m quickly realizing the raw wisdom you have gained in both life and career. Thanks for sharing. PS I’m really enjoying introducing my girls to Mythbusters.. They love it!!
@Rileysworld727
@Rileysworld727 10 ай бұрын
Thank you for mentioning that you had your parents as a safety net. Ive struggled with quiting jobs that treat me badly due to the fear that I wont be able to find another. My wife always tries to convince me that everything will be okay but its hard to leave good paying work just because im unhappy. The fear of becoming homeless again is something that has stuck with me since i was homeless as a kid.
@codemonkey2k5
@codemonkey2k5 10 ай бұрын
Jesus Adam, first the toxic workplace vid and now this... It's like you are listening in on my life right now. Thank you!
@loudtaffy7136
@loudtaffy7136 10 ай бұрын
It’s amazing watching you do these. I grew up watching Mythbusters and absorbing all the knowledge I could from you and the team. It’s uplifting to see you still teaching me to this day. Thank you.
@KannikCat
@KannikCat 10 ай бұрын
What I've learned during my architecture career is for someone to give you a "real" critique, they need to have skin in the game. They need to put their own expertise, qualifications, discernment, and their value on the line as they give the critique. Much like a creative act, there's vulnerability in giving a critique. Otherwise, it's closer to criticism, which is closer to just an opinion. To which opinions can be fine! "I like this/don't like this" is valid, but it doesn't address the quality or the details of the work that is being commented on. Putting aside one's preferences to nakedly engage with the work is what's required. And this also includes not veering away from the work to pass character judgement, or to belittle or denigrate. Then once again it's no longer a critique, which, also once again, could be fine so long as everyone's clear that is what is actually being delivered. So if you want to be great at critique, you gotta engage with the work as the work, bring expertise to bear, and get on the court of vulnerability with the creator. :)
@3dartstudio007
@3dartstudio007 10 ай бұрын
This is a great video. It's great life advice. My view on skirmishes at work formed when I found out someone on 3rd shift had been stealing from the company, and blaming me (working 2nd shift) for nearly 5 years and I never knew it, until I went to the next job and years later one of the crew sought me out to inform me they caught the actual guy doing it with cameras and he was fired on the spot. I always WONDERED why everyone in that department acted so weird and treated me just so... BAD. That was 10 years ago now, and when stuff happens like that now, I just demand to know what's REALLY behind it all. I wonder how many times terrible things happen because others are sabotaging them behind their back? Communication is key.
@dmciii
@dmciii 10 ай бұрын
Thank you Adam your comments make total sense to me. Thank you for sharing
@donwilliams3626
@donwilliams3626 10 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing your wisdom. It isn't always easy to decide but once you come to a fork in the road, decide you must do!
@bidwell13
@bidwell13 7 ай бұрын
12:55 fun part is when you tell them what’s going on and it either needs fixed or we will have to let and they come back at you that everyone else is the problem and they’re doing it perfectly. After that conversation I recommended to my supervisor no more chances terminate their employment. I had a lot of patience (probably more than I should have had) but don’t argue with me when you are new and tell me that everyone else is doing it wrong.
@refsvik
@refsvik 10 ай бұрын
A colleague of mine lives by the mantra, “it’s better to be nice than to be right”. I find it generally to be a good guideline for myself. I have also been trained in norwegian academia, that tutoring (asking the student rethorical questions to help guide them towards identifying their own shortcomings and solutions) is usually better and yields more learning and better social relationships than supervising them by providing them my interpretation of their problem and my idea of a fix).
@--..-...-..-.--....
@--..-...-..-.--.... 10 ай бұрын
Right."
@lydiakies9053
@lydiakies9053 10 ай бұрын
You have no idea how badly I needed this today. Thank you.
@philhines
@philhines 10 ай бұрын
Thank you for being so candid about your life Adam! Especially about your big decision making with your wife….
@frankgulla2335
@frankgulla2335 5 ай бұрын
Adam, for a "young guy" you sure have some insight. Thank you for sharing and answering these challenging questions.
@raymitchell9736
@raymitchell9736 10 ай бұрын
What a wonderful way to frame these different work situations and it has helped me see them is so many different facets... I'm forwarding this video off to several people so they can benefit from this wisdom. I like the introspection and the honesty. I'm also dealing with life's tile puzzles and the physical space tile puzzles all the time... tile puzzle has become my go-to description to others when describing the chaos I am dealing with. Thank you so much... Please consider consolidating these in a book, you have such a wonderful way to express these things.... Really, I'm serious... Please do!
@IanZainea1990
@IanZainea1990 10 ай бұрын
1:40 there's a great Judge John Hodgeman episode about this sorta thing, and that is that there is a time and a place (the dispute at question was whether it's appropriate to give community theatre actors notes immediately after a performance). Time and a place when it comes to friends/non-professional environments
@greenietom
@greenietom 10 ай бұрын
Thank you for this. Just today I my contract just ended and decided to not renew. I have been feeling bitter sweet if I made the right decision or not. And listening to this made me feel better. Especially with how much stress i experienced and how much bad the environment was.
@iFixJunk
@iFixJunk 10 ай бұрын
Mental health is most important. I once quit a job and traveled for a couple months. (I had no children and I was not yet married so it was okay to blow my savings that way.) I had nothing lined up but didn't care at that point, after years and years of getting my throat stepped on by upper management while working my fingers to the bone AND getting the blame for everything all the time AND always working overtime...
@none_of_your_business
@none_of_your_business 10 ай бұрын
God bless you for recognizing the privilege of having your parents as a safety net. It's the one reason I listen to a guy like you who is extremely smart but also lucky. Thank you for your content Mr Savage.
@michaelfiugalski610
@michaelfiugalski610 10 ай бұрын
Thank you for always being so real. I have enjoyed every video that I have watched of yours, and I feel I can relate on so many levels on how you lay things out there with your honesty and candor. Thanks.
@RachelM-Head
@RachelM-Head 10 ай бұрын
5:13 to me. Also, the difference between critique and criticism is criticism comes at something that you can’t necessarily change. Set and that with a critique, there are pointers in how you can change whatever the issue is to be more aligned with whatever the desired results are making something or a report or work productivity.
@HumbleWooper
@HumbleWooper 10 ай бұрын
This video and the other Q&A ones with nuggets of creator job advice come at a wonderful time for me. I'm in the process of planning and saving money to quit my delivery job and (all going well) go full time with my small crafting business. I don't want or expect to make a fortune at it, just enough to support myself and put away a bit of a nest egg for the bad times. Maybe with enough left over to travel occasionally and visit friends in other parts of the country/world.
@joeykeilholz925
@joeykeilholz925 9 ай бұрын
Never wanted any job I ever had. Never regretted quitting. Just regret the state humanity has placed itself in.
@stuckinaboxhere
@stuckinaboxhere 10 ай бұрын
Honestly, a lot of the way criticism is received comes down to how it's presented or how it's approached. A good point can be lost in a bad argument, and if you come in very abrasively you're more apt to have legitimate criticism ignored just based on the fact that you've come across as offensive and malicious with it, or you've completely devalued them or their work in the process.
@gunnargrubbs3123
@gunnargrubbs3123 10 ай бұрын
Completely agree, there’s subtlety within a could critique. Some makers/artists/creators are very close to their work and require an extra bit of gentleness when receiving critiques. Always good to remind the person that you’re only trying to help improve the final product. And at the end of the day, it isn’t your decision to make, it’s theirs.
@briandeschene8424
@briandeschene8424 10 ай бұрын
One of the axioms I’ve always lived by which I repeated as a parent was: “What you say is not nearly as important as *how* you say it.” My daughter once thanked me for making her very aware of this since it apparently has served her well on many occasions. You know that if you get a compliment on a parental advice from your kid, you’ve at least gotten that one thing right! :-)
@Jamsaladd
@Jamsaladd Ай бұрын
Very true about the easy quitting job and burning a bridge doing it . The moment you mentioned it being easy to quit I thought of a specific job . I also burnt that bridge but do not regret it and never have
@scottgibbs5903
@scottgibbs5903 10 ай бұрын
It’s not about quitting my job of 40 years - yes I know! - but transitioning to a new pursuit. I’m 68 and the self-doubt is overwhelming.
@AlejandroMéndez-j6j
@AlejandroMéndez-j6j 10 ай бұрын
I was working on a big tech company and got a scholarship to study in Japan. Life time opportunity and a dream. After some months my PhD supervisor became extremely harsh. Then he started throwing things and hitting stuff when getting mad (for his contradictory instructions). Then he hit me one day. 3 weeks latter he tried again and I decided to leave. I loved the country, I really wanted to take the opportunity, but I was so full of stress and anxiety, and thinking about killing myself. Then I discovered the university and MEXT (the government scholarship from Japan) didn't care at all about a supervisor hitting his student. So I had to leave. The difference in my case is that I am still looking for a job (but alive). And it is so frustrating and depressing that no one outside Japan seems to understand the situation. (I still love the country, their history and stuff. But this experience hurts, and was extremely unfair...)
@Gantics-Antics
@Gantics-Antics 10 ай бұрын
I am so so so sorry to hear that. Hitting your student is NOT okay and the professor should have been be sacked + arrested on the spot. I am so glad you didn't take your life. I can relate a little bit... I just left a rather unpleasant postdoc (burnt bridge and wasted year and a half) because my boss was also abusive, but noway near on your level. Mine was very rude and unpleasant all of the time, impossible to satisfy and required 15 hour workdays, and weekends. He would check the labs at 8 or 9 PM to see if we were still working and reprimand us the next morning if we weren't. Weekly meeting main discussion was that there were always never enough work done, and nothing supportive or constructive was said about how to move forward on projects. Lots of yelling and everything, despite the fact that the projects were actually going quite well. Several times I would walk in to see PhD/Master students crying from bad meetings. I know quite a few supervisors like this, and quite a few more postdocs/students who have this insane mentality to think that they should just 'tough it out'. Well not for me. After 1 and a half years I had enough and decided that it wasn't worth being on the other side of the planet away from my family and wife. I dropped two papers that were *so close* to being finished and burnt the bridge. Since then I have landed another post-doc, I am definitely enjoying it much more and things are good! I never understood how bad I was mentally affected until after I quit. Because of this I call my old work colleagues to make sure that they are doing okay, I still feel I have some resposibility in guiding them. I just want to say that you will find the right PhD supervisor and I sincerely hope you will become a good supevisor yourself one day, now that you know what *not* to do. That's what I have taken home from my own experiences. I hope you find a lovely PhD group, it IS possible to do excellent work and not be in a toxic environment (I absolutely loved every minute of my PhD).
@irlandaise5631
@irlandaise5631 3 ай бұрын
@@Gantics-Anticsand I thought quitting my job to do a PhD would be stress free. I really think it depends on the supervisor and so far the supervisor I have sucks , they don’t hit me though but the violence is psychological . Not engaging with me , being passive agressive such as not replying to emails unless they agree with what you say . Not being flexible but I knew they sucked from the get go and had no choice as all other supervisors were taken . I think from the first meeting you get a vibe . If I ever do a PhD I’ll ask to meet the supervisor and see how he reacts to what I have to say . If the energy’s bad i wouldn’t go along with them as a PhD is 4 years and that be horrible .
@sgfx
@sgfx 10 ай бұрын
12:50 When you reach a moment where things aren't working out, letting someone go becomes necessary. You often don't need to provide an explanation, as the individual likely understands the situation too but may be reluctant to leave due to financial reasons or a false belief that things will improve. Giving them a gentle nudge in the right direction usually isn't a shock, except in cases where their departure is truly unwarranted (excluding budgetary concerns).
@IanZainea1990
@IanZainea1990 10 ай бұрын
12:20 I think about that a lot "check myself before I wreck myself" and I try to be mindful of it! lol
@_NoDrinkTheBleach
@_NoDrinkTheBleach 10 ай бұрын
I used to be part of a local artists' group that encouraged sharing work during get togethers. I remember bringing my portfolio and getting the super positive comments, getting the useful constructive criticism, and just being criticized by some in the group. While it's always nice to hear compliments, it's also imperative to find the right critic who will be honest, but fair. I recognized the the difference between the ones who wanted to help, and the ones who wanted to tear down. I don't talk to any of the latter anymore. I'm still close with, and still look up to the ones who wanted to help.
@MicrophoneMichael
@MicrophoneMichael 10 ай бұрын
Thanks for posting! Im always working independently, and this is nice to listen to.
@braniganrains7920
@braniganrains7920 10 ай бұрын
I always love to hear your candid opinions. I hope you are doing well my friend. stay well I wish you the best
@oilerfreak
@oilerfreak 10 ай бұрын
Criticism is destructive, where as critique is constructive. Mood is a HUGE part of crossing the line. Such a wonderful video Adam, thank you.
@solarismoon3046
@solarismoon3046 10 ай бұрын
I already did. Low pay, long hours, shitty conditions, lack of affordable benefits, and long drive there and back with no appreciation for what you do then - YES you should quit your job! My hands now have severe carpal tunnel syndrome and I have plantar fascitis which BOTH cause me pain and numbness. So I had to quit my job as I was losing the feeling in my hands from it. Plus breathing in hydraulic oil from the presses was all just too much to deal with.
@Dillon-117
@Dillon-117 10 ай бұрын
Talking about pulling someone off a project, I've got to do that exact thing tomorrow. And I've had to do it in the past. I've never enjoyed it. It's also not been what cost someone a job. Honesty is key on that front. "Hey, I have to pull you from this thing and here's why. I'm going to put you on this other thing which I think will be a better fit."
@cecilerudis4610
@cecilerudis4610 10 ай бұрын
What you say makes sense...but it doesn't answer the question. I have always said, if this is not working for you (for whatever reason)... maybe it's time for a change - if financially you can afford to make a change (most of us cannot afford that luxury 🙁). Thanks for the video!
@dogtownoon9791
@dogtownoon9791 10 ай бұрын
Thank you Adam! And if your allowed that little space to move than take it all Up!!
@anonymuscaesar8511
@anonymuscaesar8511 10 ай бұрын
The question should be "Can I AFFORD to quit my job" and too often the answer is tragically "no". Greed and capitalism have ruined the planet🥳
@scott83gmail
@scott83gmail 8 ай бұрын
so true and it's weird how people dance around the obvious.
@TheSlowworms
@TheSlowworms 10 ай бұрын
That was some really useful advice. Thanks for being so honest
@phoenixbyrd79
@phoenixbyrd79 10 ай бұрын
I've had so many jobs I've now lost count. Never be loyal to a company. EVER. If the current job doesn't make you happy, LEAVE. If you find a better opportunity, LEAVE. You don't owe a shit tier company a two weeks notice, so LEAVE. No notice is needed.
@jamesscholz8338
@jamesscholz8338 10 ай бұрын
IBEW here as well. Do what's right by you and your family. Some of the wisest words I ever heard from one of my foremen. The people you work with are not your friends, and unless you own it, the company will get along without you, that's why they're bonded.
@WastrelWay
@WastrelWay 10 ай бұрын
I had a critique of my girlfriend the other day. She walked out into the street against the light and I yelled at her. After we got across the street she said, "It was OK, the cars had stopped." I said, "OK, I'm sorry that I CARE ABOUT YOU" and she understood the point. I've supervised people at work (I am now retired) and the only way to deliver professional criticism is to care, and let them know that you care. (And yes, you should quit your job. I've quit a lot of them.)
@jeromethiel4323
@jeromethiel4323 10 ай бұрын
I've had this conversation with more than one supervisor. Their job is to make sure i am doing MY job. If i am messing up, i need to know. If i need to be yelled at, it's your job to yell at me. Now, i'd prefer a calm discussion, but if that isn't getting through (because i am a stubborn SOB), then you need to step up. I'd rather have a supervisor yell at me, than be let go because i'm not performing. That being said, i am lucky to be in a field where i am pretty much always on my own, and can pretty much do what i need to do to get the job done. And i don't need much supervision, point me at the problem and let me fix it. Except paperwork, i hate that crap. But it has to be done, and most of the time when i am getting scolded, it's because i haven't done the paperwork, or i am behind in it.
@d.d.d.a.a.a.n.n.n
@d.d.d.a.a.a.n.n.n 10 ай бұрын
Completely agree that unless critique has been requested, keep it to yourself. I've been flabbergasted by the unsolicited critique I've gotten from people who I was showing or gifting things to, who do not do ceramics, but thought it was fine to critique my work despite not being my instructor nor me having asked for their opinion. It was some damned good wheelwork, too, which I sadly no longer can do as often due to health issues. Now that I make less refined pieces, I never hear critiques of them, but I also don't associate with those people anymore because that lack of respecting boundaries and not asking for consent cut across into multiple areas with them, not just that one area of unsolicited critiques
@michaeldehart648
@michaeldehart648 10 ай бұрын
I've learned there are basically three types of criticism. Destructive criticism tears down; constructive criticism builds up, and it identifies a problem and offers solutions. Instructive criticism adds to one's knowledge. That's based on 50+ years of management and leadership experience. Heck, there are many variations on the theme.
@princenotsocharming128
@princenotsocharming128 10 ай бұрын
5:32 What exactly is the benefit to hiding one's emotions? I asked my wife why women are better at hiding their emotions. She said that women share their emotions way too much and that men don't share their emotions enough. I think Adam is on his own with this one.
@robbokeys
@robbokeys 10 ай бұрын
Criticism can be very destructive but there are those times when the truth about the situation/issue requires it, however how it’s delivered is crucial.
@michaelbaker2718
@michaelbaker2718 10 ай бұрын
Often times when I'm in a position to critique someone, I attempt to ask more questions under the assumption that I do not know everything about the situation and that they may have acted appropriately given what they did and how and why they did it that way. I also try to highlight not only the things they may have done wrong or could have done better versus differently, but also the things they did well. The goal is not to tear them down, but to help them improve. I think this is also a good way to consider the difference between critique and criticism, that is, can you think of something good, or only negative things? If you are only looking for negatives and not positives, then you are looking to criticize, not critique.
@va_creative
@va_creative 10 ай бұрын
As a writer, I love the critique vs criticism discussion. I agree with you. Critique is constructive, criticism is not. Criticism is also usually personal, it's about the person criticizing as opposed to critique, which is about the growth of the one being critiqued and the progress of the project being discussed. The difficulty is those being critiqued taking offense to the idea that they and their work could improve in the first place. Some take critique as criticism when it is not. It's just as important to know how to express critique vs criticism as it is to accept critique for what it is and to not take it as a personal attack, i.e. misinterpret critique as criticism.
@chelseawhite7117
@chelseawhite7117 10 ай бұрын
“Go ask a woman why” got me laughing out loud. Thanks Adam
@tronotrond
@tronotrond 10 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for these episodes! So insightful, and lots of really good tips and tricks.
@DieEneVent
@DieEneVent 10 ай бұрын
I've been a teacher for almost 7 years, had a burnout, was close to another one lately. That made me decide I need another job right now. Honestly is the best decision I have made in a while. Colleagues and students weren't really happy with it, and I didn't help my case by smiling as I told them. But I am happier than I've been in a long time. Also, Adam, I have to speak out. "Criticising is blaming", not on board with that statement. Blaming is blaming. And criticising can be done right or wrong. Now I know I'm a Dutch teacher who loves directness above all, so my views may be a bit askew. But when I critique my students, or anybody, I always include advice. Mistakes/faults are unavoidable, best thing to do is learn from it. I hate people that critique but don't offer advice on how to do better, they actively hinder a person's ability to learn. It's not the goal to make someone feel bad about a mistake, that's what blaming is for. It's the goal to make them do better. That being said, love you. You have been example for me since I was a teenager!
@8__vv__8
@8__vv__8 10 ай бұрын
Sometimes the advice people give is wrong. What works best for me may not work best for everyone. If you can be the kind of teacher who can critique what you perceive as flaws and give advice but still be open to learning from your students and seeing things from their perspective, and can admit when you’re wrong, you’re doing it right.
@DieEneVent
@DieEneVent 10 ай бұрын
@@8__vv__8 I agree! I teach web development and in my first year I had a student that was a way better programmer than I was. So I learned to be open-minded and accept that basically anyone could know better than me. A lot of students I teach also are on the autistic spectrum or might have ADHD (myself included). So I usually try to only criticise their work. But I do give advice on how they could work better, I don't try and force it. But explain what the benefits might be if they changed and let them make that decision for themselves.
@phoenixbyrd79
@phoenixbyrd79 10 ай бұрын
I've walked into one job and 15 minutes later walked right out. Quitting is power. More employees need to realize the power they hold.
@Rhennius
@Rhennius 10 ай бұрын
In my mind: Critique is critical analysis and reflection. Criticism is, "That was bad and you should feel bad."
@RustyPitchforkStudio
@RustyPitchforkStudio 10 ай бұрын
Criticism is useful though, as much as you all might hate to admit it. I had a situation on a show where we had a complex problem to solve. The first instinct on how to solve it would have set the show back by a week and involved 4 departments. After examination of the problem, I'd come up with a solution that could solve the problem without that, it would just require some sweat equity on our part. I communicated the plan to the team at break. Supervisor agreed with it. Everyone else agreed with it. After break we had to finish a job first before tackling that one. One of our guys went over and start implementing the first solution, the one we all agreed was not viable and not one we were implementing. He did it without asking anyone. Just started ripping stuff apart. He had talked to the carps and the painters and started the ball rolling on getting them involved, even though they didn't need to be. He got criticism for that. If you're going to go ahead and implement a plan that's not viable and not possible, even after it's been explained many times that it's not viable, critique is out of the question and criticism is what's required.
@IIVQ
@IIVQ 10 ай бұрын
I am now at a point in life (I'm 40) where I'm learning a new trade - I'm taking a very professional training on woodworking and furniture making (1 day/week for 2 years) and I would LOVE to get a job in that business. But... I also REALLY love my current job (which is scheduler for a bus company, and is a lot more exciting than it sounds - been doing it for 10 years with a lot of changes throughout, and I don't see the changes stopping soon - no chance to be bored soon). So now I have to choose between two jobs. Doing both parttime would not really be an option because then I can not aquire the level of experience I want in either one.
@pizzazombie5209
@pizzazombie5209 10 ай бұрын
In one of Aaron Draplin’s graphic design workshops, he made a point to clarify the difference between “this is good/bad” and “this is successful/unsuccessful.” The latter leaves out all the messy judgement and personal preference and boils the conversation down to “does this work?” That subtle but important difference is something that I always try to keep in mind.
@JDMJDK
@JDMJDK 10 ай бұрын
Adam, your timing is impeccable.
@omgthisnamewasfree2076
@omgthisnamewasfree2076 10 ай бұрын
12:08 Sometimes when you're not getting on with anyone, it's because of discrimination and bullying amongst a clique. I struggled with the "maybe I'm the problem" mentality for over a year and it cost me my physical and mental health. It's unfortunate, but sometimes they are out to get you, document everything, speak with your union and hopefully get a good lawyer. Thankfully I'm out of that situation now and able to focus on hopefully building my own business.
@r0llinguphill483
@r0llinguphill483 10 ай бұрын
I really like that "If you are imparting shame on someone else, you are wasting everyone's time"
@johnnyxmusic
@johnnyxmusic 10 ай бұрын
Well… When it comes to bad drivers… It’s better than many alternatives.
@BrendanEvan
@BrendanEvan 10 ай бұрын
I think I’ve been so unhappy at work for so long I’ve lost hope for anything else. But that’s me choosing an industry you don’t like and a paycheck you do 😅
@gene_takavic57
@gene_takavic57 10 ай бұрын
Thank you for those insights and your openness, Adam. Very interesting stories.
@fredq6118
@fredq6118 10 ай бұрын
Loving these videos, absolute gems of wisdom. Thank you so much.
@skmskmx
@skmskmx 10 ай бұрын
I once left my job thru a doors(burning bridge), the supervisors where bad, corp style , but before that find job in small company i like new place so much freedom, normal boss... i do now medical repair ultrasound stuff.
@scatterbrainedstation8985
@scatterbrainedstation8985 10 ай бұрын
I have been at a job for 2 years and I realized after 6mo I did not like anything about it. So I gave it another 6mo, and another year after. It pays well, has great benefits, but I detest the work. I have no plans, but will be leaving. Just wanted to share, quite nervous.
@ageeksadventureswoohoo9213
@ageeksadventureswoohoo9213 10 ай бұрын
I love hearing you going over questions. Just to learn about how to work... but like you saidnlife in general.
@secretivesquirrelstudios
@secretivesquirrelstudios 10 ай бұрын
I've gone through art school to post grad level, and subsequently taught for a while before I came to my senses, so critique was very much a daily thing and was a very fundamental part of the process in that environment, I do still have good friends that get together with for critique sessions. To me the biggest difference between critique and criticism is the relationship. In critique the feedback is part of building and maintaining a relationship with both the person and with their work. Normally in school it happened in a formal setting where you would go through what they are doing, ask questions, and if the person wants it then discussing options. Alternately how I usually engage with critique these days is phoning someone up or inviting them for coffee (or vice versa) and starting with 'hey, what do you think of this?' Criticism on the other hand (IMO) comes from a place where the provider of the feedback doesn't have (or isn't working to maintain) a relationship with the maker and their work, it's less about give and take and more about dropping an opinion that wasn't asked for. If I'm being shown something by someone I don't know well I'll compliment the work, and I'll maybe ask questions, but I won't offer advice unless they specifically ask for it.
@FC3D
@FC3D 10 ай бұрын
I left my main job last week as it was getting too much for me, now I'm doing my side gig of 3d printing and making as a full time job, it's uncharted waters but I'm happier and optimistic of the future
@PeteRondeau
@PeteRondeau 10 ай бұрын
When making a decision that involves risk, the question to ask is, if it fails, can you recover? If yes, is the payout worth it?
@KennyCrawford426
@KennyCrawford426 10 ай бұрын
All feedback (critique and criticism to a lesser extent) should be applied to create or improve an outcome. As you stated, it can help realign a product but can be used to align a team, change (or pivot) something to make a better outcome or bring to light a larger deficiency. But in general, if it will have a negative impact on attaining your team's goals, then it should be evaluated and altered, or just not given. I view it as nothing more than a tool, and as a tool, you should always use it correctly with a goal in mind.
@Daniel-lk3sy
@Daniel-lk3sy 10 ай бұрын
Yeah and for that to work you have to also be honest with yourself and re-evaluate what the information it was provided
@CoMCPranks
@CoMCPranks 10 ай бұрын
I needed this video today. I honestly did. Thanks.
@neverendingstudent
@neverendingstudent 7 ай бұрын
Paraphrased: 'if you feel a certain way, it's coming out' and 'men are waaaaaay worse at hiding their feelings than women' - wow, yeah. I have absolutely experienced this. If I'm upset at my partner (or about anything in general) but trying not to show it.... I fail completely and she can tell every time. Very frustrating because many of those times I'm trying not to show it in order to not upset her.
@MrUnicorn44
@MrUnicorn44 10 ай бұрын
I remember one of the few things I respected George Lucas for, in terms of critique versus criticism: "This is great ... not for my movie, but this is great!" I'll always guide rather than yell, as it makes people feel like they're actively avoiding making that same mistake continuously, and thus, improving in their way of doing a task. It was the way I was raised (my father's work ethic, and if anyone knew about life, it was him. A cliché, but the truth ...), and it served me well in positions of authority. We all goof, either artistically or in a work-based fashion, but it's how we adapt from our mistakes that matters to management. Also, burnout from work is usually a guide for me to contemplate new fields of employment. If I start making mistakes, or, as it tends to be now, my own health begins to suffer (giving too much of your time - and your stomach lining - to people you normally, socially and sociably, wouldn't give the time of day to), then it's time to look for change. They got by without me there, before I joined forces with them, and they'll get by again, after I've moved on. And it's all about exercising a different set of 'work' muscles; my current job is a physical one, in a busy environment, so what I've found is that I choose something diametrically opposed to the previous job, I'm likely to thrive again. New places, new challenges ... new things to learn and to master. And also, new information to pass on to someone else.
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