Tex saves the Habsburg dynasty [Part 11] - Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts

#ultimateadmiraldreadnoughts #ultimateadmiral #blackpantslegion
This is not a serious take on naval history, but more a shitpost thereof. Please take everything I say with a grain of salt.
I'm sorry, Elmo Zumwalt.
The game is Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts: store.steampow...
In Ultimate Admiral: Dreadnoughts you play as the head of a navy doing what the head of navies do best - spend entirely too much money on holes in the water, or, in laymans terms, ships. You can design very stupid things. I do this.
Music from Epidemic Sound - www.epidemicso...

[@jonguilt7789]

1948: Alright Hapsburg, who's a big boat now, who sunk their very own cruiser. Hapsburg: Please, I've been at sea so long, all my friends are gone, don't- Admiralty: You deserve a refit for that, oh yes you do. Hapsburg: No, not again, you're tearing me apart, my boilers, my steering, even my iron skin, I can't take it anymore. Admiralty: No more grumbling, let's get you down to the dry dock and they can fit you with brand new auto-loaders. Hapsburg: I wish that torpedo had hit me instead of Wide Tom.

[@razorburn645]

Tex: Once we hit the cold war, then you have my permission to die.

[@pretzelbomb6105]

@@razorburn645 No. Replace every boiler with a nuclear reactor. Be the Enterprise.

[@henrikknudsen8125]

@@pretzelbomb6105 Space, the final frontier

[@lenorevanalstine1219]

@@henrikknudsen8125 space battleship hapsburg

[@Dzharek]

@@pretzelbomb6105 Here are your new Missle Silos, and we have replaced the Main Guns with Anti Air its a bit hideous but we needed the Room. "Please Kill me!" - Habsburg

[@Maezhughes]

I love how pretty much through the entirety of the hapsburg campaign Greece has been just patiently knocking on Tex's door saying, "Hey, we want some of ur ships bud." And Tex responds with either: A: no B: fuck off Or C: no, I'm busy

[@grimos6490]

It is truly some fun stuff. Though I do have to ask, What does Greece Seek to brawl with if they want Warships?

[@Maezhughes]

@@grimos6490 probably Russia? I have no idea

[@Ratkill9000]

All are acceptable answers that need to be said more often.

[@blackops555]

@@grimos6490 The Turks (ottomans), always.

[@Deridus]

​@@grimos6490Turkey, Albania, Central Bakans, and Turkey,

[@khyronkravshera7774]

Tex to the rescue to save me from my 2am insomniac boredom!!!

[@ChystAtWork]

3am here, but fuck yes!

[@shenandoahreynolds6921]

Right!?!

[@thecommenter9678]

I know!! God bless this timing!

[@DiscoDigi786]

I hope you got some rest!

[@khyronkravshera7774]

@@DiscoDigi786 Eventually. But then I was woken up by a vomiting wife. 🤢🤢🤢🤮

[@Zoshnell]

Watchng Tex deal with 1 sleepy boat boi, then it suddenly speeds to mach 4, is a beautiful thing. "Oh, wait, you want me to do something? How about this!" engages afterburners

[@StarlightSocialist]

35:53 "We are Le Tired." "Well . . take a nap." "AND THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!"

[@Deridus]

*AAAAAAH, MOTHERLAND!*

[@musicninja98]

Well, that's a blast from the fucking past. Lmao.

[@Archangelm127]

Fire our sheet!!!

[@SharienGaming]

who doesnt love tex' obsession with building "destroyers" XD

[@tapioperala3010]

Well, they do destroy. Ergo, they are destroyers.

[@SharienGaming]

@@tapioperala3010 no doubt about that - it takes a lot of guts to run a navy on a pure destroyer fleet, but if anyone can pull it of its mad admiral tex! XD

[@kalixascsi66]

"And you call them destroyers despite the fact that they look identical to cruisers?"

[@Deridus]

​@@kalixascsi66destroyer: Cruiser; Flamable: inflamable, same thing.

[@Slythis1985]

"Sir, the Hasburg's Bow Wave is in sight..."

[@TomSedgman]

IYKYK 😜

[@irradiatedslagheap7933]

3:28:20 German Officer: "Sir, we've come across a formation of nine destroyers!" German Captain: "Nine, you say? Difficult, but not impossible. Maintain standoff range and pick them off as they come in." German Officer: "No, sir, you don't understand - these are _Austro-Hungarian_ destroyers!" German Captain: "...Distribute the remainder of our beer rations among the crew and tell them to make peace with God."

[@Kirkmaximus]

Lmao! This made my day. Thank you.

[@tehmuck]

2 minutes in: OH NO YOU DIDN'T JUST MOVE THE HABSBURG OUT TO SEA D:

[@Vespuchian]

I definitely think Tex should have had a rule where if the Hapsburg sinks he has to end the game immediately.

[@FlyingWithSpurts]

Oh no! Our precious baby boy!

[@jppauley9969]

The Lad is in dangerous!

[@chrillzilla1268]

@@Vespuchian that could be an interesting premise for many naval carreers. First real flagship in dreadnaught/battleship size, single ship class, has to participate in every war at least in one battle. You'd probably want a DD/LC screen at least wherever it roams.

[@Vespuchian]

@@chrillzilla1268 Ultimate Admiral Dreadnoughts: Sudden Death Run

[@David-yx3bd]

I'm not sure if he ever confirmed it not, but Tex definitely spent some time in EVE as a Goon :) His #1 tactic when pressured is basically the N+1 doctrine, and given how he's so fond of suicide charges in Battletech, yeah he had to spend some time among the Goons. It works (sort of, it depends heavily on your enemy not just doing the same thing back to you), provided you have an unending supply of volunteers that don't mind doing one thing and one thing only: Dying after pushing a button. Edit: Also the Autocalc in this game is very weird. It's not random, it also isn't really leaned toward the AI. It's just kind of "okay we're going to assume both sides didn't really want to fight and were both trying to escape" is the best I can figure. And then the alternative is manual fights, which are OP in the favor of the player to an extreme that's really hard to figure out. You can't really lose a manual fight unless you're behind in tech which can't really happen unless you let it. Keep funding at full, don't even bother to specialize if you don't want, and you can't really fall behind unless your economy is crap. If you specialize, well then you just win the race even faster. BTW Tex is not bad, he's literally shitposting, he's designing fleets that aren't intended for naval superiority, they are built from the Taurian/Afghani mindset of: We have no sense of self preservation, yes, we're going to die, but you're going to die too.

[@contentsdiffer5958]

That AI autocalc is pretty historically accurate, then.

[@Oi1Suzy]

We don't talk about Tex's eve days

[@Deridus]

Salt-harvesting included.

[@e-train765]

WHAT?! A day early??? Tex are you putting off sleep again? Well, regardless, ALL HANDS MAN YOUR BATTLESTATIONS!!! ALL SHIPS MAKE SMONK!!! 💨💨💨💨💨

[@Crimethoughtfull]

"we'll have you dead pretty soon"...(Coheed and Cambria)

[@RalphyNoPants]

That captain of that drifting destroyer was definitely blasting a Eurobeat remix of the Radetzky March over all speakers on his ship.

[@franksmedley8619]

In General Kala voice: "What do you mean, Hapsburg Approaching?"

[@Deridus]

"Dispatch Warship Ajax and bring back his-" (WS? Sinking from excessive fires)

[@WarRocketAjax99]

The most honored assignment in the Navy? The Hapsburg of course! Only the best of the best of the best of the BEST can serve on the most honored and modern battleship, or is it a battle cruiser? or a Dreadnaught? Anyway. It's the most honored posting. The MOST honored. It has the MOST battle honors, the MOST diplomatic successes, the MOST refits of any boat in the navy. THE MOST! LETS GOOOO LETS GOOOOOOO! Hawkmen!! DIIIIIIIVE!

[@DragonfameDracas]

I love how this campaign has just devolved into games of torpedo bullet hell.

[@zhurnivuurg]

After getting blockaded twice by Germany with just one ship, you'd think Tex would learn to leave SOMETHING to guard his home port. Yet every time he sees an invasion opportunity, he empties his ports to create a giant invasion fleet, never sparing a thought to protecting the homeland.

[@RobotsEverywhereVideos]

the Immortan Joe doctrine

[@karrackhalcyon8826]

Builds "Destroyers" gets confused when they behave like destroyers and torp themselves. lol

[@Ozymandias2x]

44:44 "It's not a destroyer, it's a battleship!" 1:12:34 So according to this readout, Tex sank 37 of their 12 transports. I guess Hungaustria's torpedo tech is *literally* unreal. 3:49:04 Thematically appropriate. Oh, the humanity!

[@TherealTenmanI]

Tex refitted the Habsburg, the game refitted the transport readout.

[@ShagShaggio]

This was a good series. Long live the Habsburg. Cheers!

[@hexfighter2012]

Game: I have decided to blocade you. Tex: UNACCEPTABLE.

[@danielvandersall6756]

In the meantime, Daniel finally learns how the technology system in this game works--goes from perennially behind to Very Advanced...

[@nathanparis3573]

Was just thinking "man, that ep 10 should be an 11". Welp, 2 minutes later, guess what drops? 😂

[@toddkatz9700]

He did it. Absolute, fucking madman. Maybe this is what he's always getting at with the whole 'Tilting at Windmills' thing? Doing absurd, illogical, potentially fruitless things out of some insane way of tackling the absurdity of life head on, with equal insanity and fervor no matter the amount of stupid needed to persevere? Like, that fight with the Minotuar last episode, he didn't win, he didn't even have to fight, but he did it anyways, and got frankly fucking absurdly close to actually winning, which should not have happened. Kinda feels like a metaphor for life or something... like, you can't win em' all, but you can lose in glorious audacity and style, and maybe even confuse and outrage your opponent before the end, because fuck it, what do you have to lose anyways?

[@bluemagic887]

It's definitely part of it. Live life. Optimization is boring, so mix it up. Do stupid things smartly, and catch life by surprise. Do smart things very staggeringly dumbly, and make life stop and thonk about it. Commit, use the whole ass, and then add somebody else's ass to double-ass it. Make something, be creative, and try new things.

[@Crimethoughtfull]

THIS is existentialism. The point is to be awake enough to recognize the absurdity of reality, and then to live within that realization, giving a big philosophical middle finger to your finite existence...like Camus. It isn't about Nihilism...it is Existentialism--we're all gonna die and nothing matters really, so recognize that fact and....basically....YOLO.

[@Archangelm127]

Well, I mean, the Battle of Samar happened IRL. Never underestimate the Power of Fucking Crazy.

[@toddkatz9700]

@Archangelm127 I'll have to Google that one now, thanks for that.

[@Notabotbear]

Well that was a fun ride. Thanks for taking us along.

[@tapioperala3010]

This was an awesome series, even by your standards. I'm not too keen on boats, but I really want to get Ultimate Admiral: Dreadnoughts and create such insane boats that no sane universe should breed them

[@jppauley9969]

No no no we do not grind them under the Habsburg heel. We grind them under the Hapsburg chin!!

[@dabombinablemi6188]

It just clicked just how old this footage actually is. So many patches since.

[@prelude2tube]

Still gloriously broken. AI is still retarded, game is still hilariously idiosyncratic, insane, entertaining, and addictive (for the right/wrong kind of bōt autist)

[@nikoclesceri2267]

how old is it

[@dabombinablemi6188]

@@nikoclesceri2267 December 2023 is the age of the games build.

[@AdmiralSenn]

What a spectacular series this has been.

[@andreykardashov6343]

2:26:47 would be hilarious if the Spanish newspapers reported that their ship got destroyed by a freak meteor storm without ever spotting the enemy😅😂

[@Johnnyboy19882]

I love how the Hapsburg is only about as long as the Clog destroyers even if it's wider

[@alphaandomega4422]

*looks at range* Me: 36 kilometers? Well, that's almost OTH firing, they'll have to get a little closer to- *cruiser sinks in two salvos* Me: *staring in stunned silence at the monster Tex has created*

[@Milkbox4k]

"Sweet baby rays"- Ugh, I could murder some BBQ right about now... Thank for the vid and the desire for ribs.

[@pgwchaos]

During the Battle of Midway the Akagi was only hit by one direct bomb; however the bomb hit in just the right place to be a fatal blow, It didn't help the Akagi's hanger bay was full with fuel, bombs, and planes.

[@America_Yea]

Tex' Ai team here is following hapsburgian Ai it seems quite accurately.

[@grimwaldsilverpipe4326]

Im loving all this imformative tex knowledge on boats and how that is definitely a destroyer.

[@soulbreakerthelastmanalive]

I just got back from my honeymoon today, and my wife is coming home from her festival meeting in 30 minutes and you had to post another video thank you.

[@amorphoussolid8512]

I needed this. Thank you BPL and Tex. Good job.

[@Tillman581]

Another bout of insomnia conquered by Tex, thanks mate. it's been a rough week.

[@ilovedetails]

Griglak, son of Griglak smash.

[@catboxvideo]

i really do appreciate history with tex while concurring the world with goulash. it is Prof Tex at his best - free form lecture based on random stimulus. TEx: My 'Destroyers" will be done V (5yr daughter) -- They are called destroyers because they destroy right Me: exactly tex's naval philosophy.... you understand naval designations

[@SoloAxlion]

"I did not ask if the course was clear, I said FIRE TORPEDOES!"

[@shenandoahreynolds6921]

Great Game! You are killing it. AUX member.. love this series brother.

[@sultanofsick]

Aww, I can't believe you passed on a chance to close out the play with a battle using the Hapsburg

[@fremenGaming]

The glitch is most likely related to formations. In order to stay with the formation if you are on "far side" of the formation while the formation is rotating, you will require higher and higher velocity. If not than ships would fall from formation all the time. In most cases its small cheat that does not go so much over max speed. But in some cases if vehicle gets out of its position to much and it tries to get back to the formation, it tries really hard, including cheating on max speed :) Formations programming is difficult in games unless you cheat a bit. Thats the fact of game dev :D

[@boobah5643]

That's why with real formations you have things like the guy on the inside corner who moves his feet and turns but otherwise doesn't go anywhere until the turn is done. The problem is that the game doesn't actually move the formation; it hangs the formation off the lead ship. And also doesn't know what a line-abreast formation actually is, but that's a (probably related but) separate problem.

[@faryn3687]

4 hours now, Tex, you're spoiling us! Much love

[@braith117]

Tex sank that one destroyer at 2:27:00 double the range Warspite and Gneisenau made their record hits at.

[@GoldElderDragonz]

I would absolutely LOVE to see Tex play Mount & Blade: Warband knowing he has played it or at least knows enough about it to reference it. The bugs combined with the opportunity to make dumb decisions that could still work out in their favor sounds like a fun time.

[@Disastromatic]

Man, that Berfflinger was really flingin' berf

[@Zyme86]

One way to stop that stupid one ship blockadeing is to have a small fleet block the entrance to the Adriatic, that'll prevent the blockading.

[@contentsdiffer5958]

I appreciate that this alternate history pretty much had the Battle of Jutland too, and it was the last real challenge of the Habsburgs.

[@UnreasonableOpinions]

I want an Iron Admiral run mode to escalate on the Hapsburg where you must build a Flagship before your first war, if it is in good order but fails to participate in a battle of a major war you are fired for cowardice, and if your flagship sinks you immediately lose.

[@Durahan2]

As a map autist it's a relief that Moldova's color finally matched the nation right next to it instead of being an enclave.

[@Deridus]

... Aral sea

[@HeyImJerry]

Oh these allways put a smile on my face, and I just fried up some bratwurst with all the fixings. Today is good day

[@Karyovin]

You already invaded Australia We love it, what else could you possibly want?

[@bullpupluver]

The Australia Hungary navy

[@chrillzilla1268]

AUT = AUS finally.

[@prelude2tube]

Eastern Russia in this UA Dreadnaughts: "It's free real estate. "

[@michaelman957]

The Habsburg shall assist House Marik in retaking Terra in the 32nd century under the leadership of Lord of the Admirality Tex CXXXIII.

[@LordZaxom]

What a strange world, but its also kind of funny how even here there is a great divide between the West and the East.

[@David-yx3bd]

Free tip: Hold shift while trying to place the emplacements so you can free place instead of having to depend on the anchor points.

[@boobah5643]

It's sometimes annoying (because despite _telling_ the game that you're adding centerline turrets it'll still let you put them off-center) but you find that there are about twice as many anchor points as it allows without (shift.) Exception: For some reason barbettes for off-center mounts don't work in the last few versions of the game. Really restricts the secondary armaments' field of fire once you stop getting casement mounts, unless your nation has conveniently added barbettes to the towers.

[@Crimethoughtfull]

"with Blackjack and Hookers!" and "until war were declared". MUAH! Ahhh, a man of culture I see.

[@jppauley9969]

Aww forget about the blackjack

[@eddapultstab2078]

After picric acid gets out of use and you unlock class 4 or higher four and five inch guns, armor piercing rounds are actually really good at wrecking ships that are not battleships. Also you can look at the enemy ships stats if you hover at the corresponding image, like if you hover at the steel plate image you can see the actual armor thickness (note the ship needs to be identified first) you can also hover on the image right of the plate to see things like what type of barbets and antiflood measures among others as well. Hovering on each of the guns of a ship will also give how much penetration, by range and ammo type, the gun can do as well.

[@samculper3172]

Accuracy by volume at its finest

[@RealArcalian]

More bonus into torpedo size. Yeeees. We all live in a cruiser submarine, cruiser submarine, cruiser submarine.

[@mortcs]

Say it aint over! You still have to fit star drives and laser mounts onto the Habsburg and let it get refits out at L4 station for the next 1000 years.

[@graniteelephant]

Hell yeah. 4 more hours of shenanigans

[@muttochop]

A pushed ship mounted Davy Crockett, well, that's development, but thank goodness that that did not come to pass, still, that would have been a surface navy thing.

[@tomio175]

If you slow down the destroyer squadron until they're in a nice line at the start of the battle, it mostly fixes that glitch.

[@carnoth9864]

Tex defies the maxim of not getting involved in a land war in asia, and wins!

[@be-noble3393]

The Hapsburg: “Chin it to Win it!”

[@tomarmadiyer2698]

Zoomie torp boats is fun if you can crack the whip perfectly. *Fling, fling*

[@imnotabotiswear3276]

I just finished the last episode before this dropped, the timing couldn't be better if you tried

[@JustinGann]

"... because Danes love ocean raiding."

[@lokai7914]

A ship's class should always be defined by its function, not its size.

[@IamHattman]

Tex you tell us to go look up the Canopus class, but this is the internet. We all know what cat girls look like.

[@thatguynameddan2136]

If they identify as Destroyers, who are we as just people to say anything against it? These wonderful castles of steel can identify as whatever makes them happy.

[@scp2539]

destroyer zoomies are my favorite part of the game XD 2:53:48 you deleted the hapsburg Q~Q how could you betray our boy like this? :P

[@raxsavvage]

honestly prefer a couple battlecruisers / battleships as attack fleets, but the dire need to have so much tonnage to attack ports puts a crimp on that really do need to reign that crazyness in, 400,000 ton + ports in the 20s is entirely crazy

[@tywren2486]

I'm kind of disappointed Tex didn't reunite the Habsburg crown by taking all of Spain before the end of the game.

[@EricDKaufman]

I have something to get me through QC/QA of 3rd to 1st Shift change!!! Thank you BPL and Tex

[@jefffreese947]

Tex - bold move scrapping a big chunk of the fleet with 5 years to play with capital ships taking 3 years to build!

[@zack875]

Somewhat disappointed that the last upgrade of the Hapsburg didnt turn it into the "fast burg". Nothing says regal authority like a ship from the 1890s doing 60 knots.

[@scottjuhnke6825]

But you might ask, how does one prove one's mightyness...By having a Flagship made from the best technology 1898 could buy!

[@bloop1152]

Fanks uncah Tex, I needed something to lull me to sleep.

[@deana6203]

Continue this series, coward. I didn’t mean it. You’re obviously not a coward. What I meant was: please keep it rolling. Great series, great game.

[@DrendarMorevo]

At 1:55:00 Tex explains why the Alaska's are Heavy Cruisers rather than Battlecruisers, quoth the USN, "because we said so."

[@razorburn645]

I remember thinking that the Americans were the first to ironclad ships until I learned what France and the British were doing beforehand.

[@boobah5643]

Americans were just first to fight with them. And either the French or British examples would likely have destroyed either of the American ships, although it must be remembered that the American ships were a converted ship made on the cheap and a rush job.

[@xavierhibbs4850]

"If they wont kick your ass, kick your own ass" -Destroyer Class Destroyers 3:02:00

[@AnchorJG]

Aw, we never got to see the *Hapsburg Forever* super battleship his the water.

[@gabrielstrong2186]

Those two ships didn’t ram each other they were both just trying to hide behind the other

[@GaldirEonai]

Calling the boat "Bosna" is an extra little treat for austrian viewers...

[@michaelcowling9928]

"I know that's terrible and autistic but I'm autistic and come up with terrible ideas. Ba da da ba dum dump."

[@georgezwick3717]

I feel I must second a comment I saw on a previous video in this series. The Urban Ship. The biggest gun on the smallest possible hull with armor for days. Speed is optional, bonus points points for jumping.

[@jppauley9969]

Bonkerzer. Confirmed! Is can be written so therefore it is a word!

[@karrackhalcyon8826]

Pretty sure the temes was staying afloat purely by the displacement of their testicular fortitude. Thing was on .9% floatation for like 30 mins of combat

[@thaen9346]

The Hapsburg is great and all but Tex... **Where's the Blackjack, Tex?**

[@jppauley9969]

Yes! A that, is in fact, a Destroyer!

[@apokalypsecow9756]

The Soviet Navy in your playthrough here had more blue water capability than the current Russian navy has.

[@theautisticveteran2466]

Habsburg Naval Traditions inspired Caboose from RvB... "I'm Helping!"

[@lenorevanalstine1219]

texs guys keep torping themselves to make the fight a little more fair for the enemy

[@R1ddic]

15:47 ... the clog class "leroy jenkins" drifting past ... wow

[@raxsavvage]

feel like tex is gonna lose his mind if he ever holds shift during ship building like, completly lose it , just realised he doesn't do that although videos almost always going on in background