The $238 Million Blunt: FAMU's Hazy Hemp Hoax

Folks, let me tell you a story that's equal parts hilarious and cringeworthy. It's the tale of Florida A&M University and their pursuit of the ultimate pot of gold - a whopping $238 million donation from a 30-year-old hemp mogul. Yeah, you read that right, a hemp mogul. Because when you think of big-money philanthropy, the first thing that comes to mind is a dude selling hemp jewelry and CBD-infused tea.
So, picture this: it's graduation day at FAMU, one of the most prestigious HBCUs in the country. The commencement ceremony is in full swing, and the school announces that they're receiving a donation that would make even the Ivy Leagues green with envy. But wait, it gets better - this massive gift isn't coming from some wealthy alum or a billionaire philanthropist. Nope, it's from a 30-year-old cat named Gregory Gerami, who the school described as a "champion of sustainable agriculture and biodegradable hemp products in Texas."
Now, let's pause for a moment and appreciate the sheer audacity of this situation. A guy who's younger than most of the graduates is about to drop a quarter-billion-dollar gift on FAMU, and nobody thinks to do a quick Google search or, you know, ask for some actual proof of wealth? It's like winning the lottery without even buying a ticket!
But the fun doesn't stop there, folks. As the school starts to investigate this too-good-to-be-true gift, they discover that Gerami's net worth is about as solid as a bag of oregano. His "hemp empire," Batterson Farms, is listed at a single-story home in suburban San Antonio, and the company's LinkedIn page shows Gerami as the sole employee. So much for that 7,000-worker claim, huh?
And get this - when asked to provide specific figures for his business, Gerami essentially said, "Nah, I'm good." Talk about transparency!
Now, you'd think that at this point, FAMU would have realized they'd been had. But nope, they doubled down, with the president apologizing for being "premature and vast" in announcing the gift and the board launching a full-blown investigation.
It's like a real-life version of that scene from "The Producers" where Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom try to cash in on their massive Broadway flop. Except, in this case, the flop is a $238 million hemp-fueled hoax.
So, what's the moral of the story, folks? Always fact-check your multimillionaire donors, especially if they're peddling CBD gummies and claiming to be the "youngest African American producer and seed seller" in the Texas hemp industry. Because, let's be real, that's about as believable as saying you're the world's first trillionaire selling unicorn horns on Etsy.

[@richardmintz7356]

Ya burnt!