The 7 Most Common Female Narcissistic Traits - NPD

[@BradJPenner]

“Covert Narcissism” in females is way more common that people think

[@fightback397]

I believe almost all females are covert narcs .

[@JiMMY-my1ds]

I completely agree. I dated a young women and couldn’t work out what the hell was going wrong. Went to a counsellor and she pointed it out. Fragile/vulnerable/covert Narc/BPD. This girl embody a number of traits from those disorders. It’s such a mindf&@k. Talk about a painful experience. NEVER again! I still carry alot of the pain 2 years after.

[@t2dwarrior209]

Yes it is. My sister is a poster child for a malignant narcissist and my first wife was a straight up psycho.

[@Redbwoy5]

Unfortunately I knocked one up, and she didn't show her narcissism until after our child was born

[@marionsmith676]

This dame living next door to me has NPD and no I’m not a professional but I’ve been around the mountain and few times and she’s like Pepe lepew I’m steady running protecting my peace and energy I absolutely hate this!!!

[@DangerousWillie]

Female narcissists are extremely common in my experience. There are so many aspects of modern society that feed into it.

[@damo9961]

Easy to find on dating sites and in common singles hangouts like bars and clubs. They are perpetually single and always looking for the next ones. No decent men want them so they always end up back on the market. If you have decent boundaries and see them for what they are early then it's easy to avoid them.

[@StatchanaReborn]

Im sorry if thats your experince 😢 for me its the straight opposite; I mean, have u met men? But I guess that's my BPD that attracts NPD men around me 😅 life is hard. So hard to find a decent one. Thank god I met my bf..❤

[@Nuetral768]

Agreed. It's because western society idolizes narcissism. The higher we expect people to get, and the more we exalt them for those traits the more we encourage narcissism. Right now I doubt many will argue that men are starting to pull back more, and women are being encouraged more... so we're seeing a shift in prominence.

[@goodtimesbadtimes5273]

Yes new DSM has the latest numbers, male and female nartisists ratio is 50:50, the way females are progressing the ratio will be M30:70F

[@Nuetral768]

@@goodtimesbadtimes5273 It's true. The problem with glorifying masculine over feminine traits (especially when combined with glorifying abrasive traits) is that you internalize whatever perception you've attached to that example... and let's just be honest, narcissistic abuse and males have become almost synonymous as far as many females nowadays are concerned. Combine that with the fact that the narcissist actually represents the pinnacle of American idealism right now in many ways, and the common drive in most females to define worth through relationships (friends, family, romantic, etc) it's just the ideal situation for breading narcissists and borderlines (many borderlines often being eventual offshoots of narcissistic abuse... and those numbers are increasing too, and not surprisingly especially on the male side). Of coarse some of this is just gender bias. We spent so long saying women can't be abusive and men can't be emotional that now we're starting to open our eyes to the facts that they can with less bias and it's really flipping our perception on what we thought we knew... So some of this is just backlog from psychology taking forever to catch up (hence self help and blog psychology becoming more popular) and the fact that science has always been and will always be as bias as the minds that use it to explore.

[@AliciaM5555]

Mom was a narc with overlap with other cluster b disorders. She played the victim at the expense of her children. I literally left home at 14 years old (home life was horrible), no money and no support while she smeared me to other family members. I grew up rough in a hood in LA. I later developed my own issues (BPD/PTSD). After years of my own dysregulation I got my butt into therapy and I'm not that person anymore. ❤

[@taom9004]

I'm so sorry. As a 30 year veteran high school teacher, I taught that kid [you] many times and the courage and the integrity of these survivors always blew me away. Be proud for not letting someone else's wounds define who you are for the rest of your life.

[@janicenagao7409]

Good blessings on you good work

[@_ar.ti.facts_byritadrake]

💜💜💜💜

[@ExploringWithRandR640]

I’m proud of you!!!!

[@AliciaM5555]

Omg you guys thank you so much! Your encouragement means a lot ❤❤❤❤❤🙏

[@davidnoonan7893]

I got out of a marriage w a narcissist wife 1.5 yrs ago, this video explains her perfectly. I’d rather be single than w a woman like this. I am free and won’t be so naive next time I meet a woman I want to pursue... thanks to her, I’m in NO rush. God bless y’all!

[@wildfyah]

Do you still have to deal with her popping back up like a wart all the time just to get a reaction out of you?

[@davidnoonan7893]

@@wildfyah nope, bc I moved out of state😂

[@Suzyboo73]

I'm 6 yrs happily single

[@atyourbest5385]

Me too.

[@MyPrimeone]

Same here

[@timdetmers3240]

Both of my parents were narcissistic, though my father was more narcissistic than my mother. Both were emotionally distant and cold and neither provided me with the love and support every child deserves, which has had a devastating effect on me. Here's my takeaway: People who love you do not intentionally hurt you and people who intentionally hurt you do not love you. I don't think narcissists know how to love other people, or is it that they just don't care to? Either way, they are harmful destructive people whose number one concern is themself.

[@SweepDailyWin]

I'm so sorry you suffered. I went through the same. They took away our right to have a beautiful life. I'm doing my best to heal and make my life beautiful

[@ericmorrison8772]

Doubtful they were BOTH narcissists. Narcissists can't have a relationship. One of them may have been but the other likely had another issue

[@laurawhite4118]

I don't believe they know how.they most likely mimic what they learned at home.so how do you learn how to be .is it a God given gift? They weren't blessed with.

[@RationalNon-conformist]

ericmorrison8772 My parents are both narcissists, they can and do have relationships together. Watch HG Tudor.

[@kathyscott4206]

😊

[@palmereldritch_6669]

I dated one of these ladies once. She was extremely manipulative, conniving, obsessed with her hair. One day years later, it dawned on me that she cheated on me with her ex husband. God she had me so snowed. I wish that we taught psychology in school. It's about a billion times more useful than algebra or history.

[@intrepidsouls]

The thing is, if they taught psychology in schools, it wouldn’t take long for many students to identify narcs and etc in the teachers. In retrospect, I know many of my female teachers were very troubled. Humiliating the students, abusing. My history teacher - interestingly, never married , and she was in her 40s - once banned me from her class for two weeks because I was cracking jokes with my friend during the break. And did not allow me back until I apologised for literally doing nothing wrong.

[@palmereldritch_6669]

@@intrepidsouls That's exactly the point. Our society has zero structure to account for mental illness and psych damage. The most amazing thing to me was to grow to realize that narcissists, bullies, and other crazies are frequently REWARDED by society for their disease. Think about it: America elected Trump. A man who literally paints himself orange who isn't fit to run a lemonade stand. Madness.

[@SillyChickens222]

No one can love you enough to not want to continue being with other people 😂 someone’s sexuality will always be stronger than their “love”

[@GamerOnLoan]

​@@SillyChickens222what did that have to do with the post?

[@joanlynch5271]

​@@SillyChickens222this has nothing to do with the topic at hand, and people might find it triggering.

[@jorgemarquezzepeda8179]

You've described my wife. One thing you didn't mention was "friends".. my narcissistic wife replaces me (and her former husband's) with her friends. She gives them priority and place and value above a husband.. then when confronted.. she deflects and gaslights..

[@luxurydetail5750]

She’s cheating

[@aidanmohrman9493]

Be careful and don’t make accusations before you fully evaluate yourself. Are there things you are genuinely doing wrong in the relationship? Drop the ego and seriously evaluate yourself. I wish I did many times before.

[@keithrodgers1030]

Covert narcissists are the worst , to other people they appear charming but to the partner it’s hell. They tell everybody else it’s you !!

[@fluxuleducatiei]

My ex is part of a survivor narcissist abuse group. She has all 7 traits and convinced my all along it was me.. I had to get professional help thinking what I 'did' to that girl, while I was being the abused all along.

[@paulreints2279]

Preach it! Well said.

[@jasonyork9642]

They are absolutely monsters. So charming then to you -the devil

[@MsEagle20]

Women can be sooooo much worse than men. In a nutshell, men destroy your body, a woman destroys your soul!

[@BAKER22-l4u]

Exactly

[@Zona-dw9rp]

My ex wife is a narcissist. After 22 years of "marriage," it took me a decade to recover.

[@EricaChavira-on4oz]

I was in a relationship like this for one year and I still struggle! I can’t imagine going through this nonsense for 22 years. My goodness! I’m glad you got out! It was the most heartbreaking experience I have ever been in.

[@chrisc.2513]

Same here… 20years thrown away simply because I got sober and had a clear mind again. Out of 3 children that have my last name… only my oldest has my DNA… that’s what took my soul from me. Once my youngest is 18 there’s going to be an extremely hard discussion about what really happened. With some luck the ex will be cooperative at least.

[@Zona-dw9rp]

@@chrisc.2513 God bless you.

[@dennisassini-pw2ic]

Wow! I don’t know how you can live under the same roof with a woman like this? You should have gotten out a long time ago.

[@Zona-dw9rp]

@@dennisassini-pw2ic I didn't want my two daughters to turn out to be like their mom. Three years straight of college without passing a single class or working a job. My children deserved better.

[@mirrorworld170]

I was one. Then I dated a male model narcissist who became a mirror for all my narcissistic insecure toxic traits, painful to recognize. But then realized everything u put out comes back around. Talk about cycles…thank you for the insights ❤︎

[@robertperzel5349]

Hello, I appreciate your honesty and openness to admitting this, in your way you are apologizing and teaching yourself a new pattern and way of living at your most version of yourself than the direction of rock bottom. Thank you, God Bless, Rob

[@clubdesalud1488]

If you can admit you were one then you probaby wasn't one

[@aymenayech1856]

You probably were not. You may had some of the traits but not a 'full' narcissist. Continue bettering yourself and working on you flaws , admitting them is the first step of healing . Much love to you

[@sweet2sourr]

@@clubdesalud1488you’ve never seen narcissists on KZbin? It’s a myth narcissists can’t admit to having npd

[@AliciaM5555]

Self awareness is definitely possible for people with cluster b traits. I believe that and I believe that some can go on to be and feel so much better. ❤

[@kynathomas4809]

The female narcissist i knew cheated on her husband and made 3 kids with her affair partners. Once the husband found out and asked for a divorce she contested it for 3 years. I asked her "why did she contest the divorce?" She said " "he married me so he was supposed to forgive those things "

[@sweet2sourr]

He seen 3 kids that didn’t look like him before he realized 🤯

[@Freedom4PalestineEndZioNazism]

​@@sweet2sourrOh my days! 😂😂😂😂😂

[@Erica-cf1xb]

They love having raw revenge sex. The excitement of who is the daddy gets their heart pumping. They literally have no clue and will have sex with multiple men on the same day. Everyone gets a taste of her melting pot of germs. Witches brew 😅😅😅

[@FJHFAH-ui4ml]

Sounds like my MIL. She left my FIL for another man, and says it’s ok that she cheated because he didn’t give her enough attention. I could go on and on but basically she’s the most narcissistic person I know 😵‍💫

[@camalaschlicher2778]

My mother a narcissist. I had to sever the relationship. We suffered as children from her ill ness. All these traits were spot on ,her personality. Thank you for validation.

[@danieru911]

I'm sorry but narcissism isn't an illness. At least until today it hasn't been medically admitted as such. So it's basically a choice to being an awful person. Of course there's an origin to every story, we're all a result of our childhood. I sincerely feel for you. A narcissistic parent is hell.

[@camalaschlicher2778]

@@danieru911 I do realize it's not an illness. Yet it is a mental disorder, personality disorder,which all stems from a mental illness. I lived,as well as my siblings did daily,and my father. All my siblings are deceased now,as well as my father. And I blame my mother's mental illness,as narssasism being one of the major factors in her mental illness.

[@danieru911]

@@camalaschlicher2778 i'm sorry for everything you've gone though. I send you digital hugs and lots of love.

[@thedowagerd.2431]

@@camalaschlicher2778 We used to call it sin. Take a look at the Seven Deadly Sins and match them to a narcissist.

[@AwakenedAvocado]

​@@danieru911 as far as i understand its a terminal illness. Meaning there's no cure for them. Can it be learned or its hereditary? Parts yes and some can be hereditary. Ultimately though yes, they are choosing to be a horrible person

[@piperpilot44253]

My ex is diagnosed with BPD. Omg. As much as I loved and still love her, she has all the symptoms of a female narcissists.

[@LC_H]

Social media is FILLED with female "narcissist." Everything from tik tok videos, to being on fb live just looking into the camera while playing with her hair.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your perspective

[@larad9180]

I don’t think you can diagnose someone just because they put themselves out there online, or even enjoy getting attention for their appearance. The lack of empathy and willingness to step on others to get that attention is still key.

[@LC_H]

@@larad9180 ❤️When did I diagnose someone? I made a comment. Narcissism is nothing more than pride. This behavior has been around WAY before it was called narcissist by someone. It's not so much about them and a lack of empathy, but more their lack of love (which then produces a lack of empathy, care, patience, peace, gentleness, etc... That love is usually hindered by a fear within them (whether fear of rejection, loneliness, failure, etc...). Many prideful or emotionally broken people use social media to manage their brokenness or love of self. A person that makes online videos ALL day long just looking into the camera posing, or revealing their body, or trying to be pretty all day long online is a person that is a lover of self (Again, also pride, which is tied to "Narcissism"). There is a verse in God's Word that explains these excessive behaviors we are seeing today within people (2nd Timothy Chpt 3 Verses 1-5)

[@shawnwarrynn8609]

​@@DrDanielFox People like you should really speak out against Anime and Manga, especially those which promote Narcissists like Asuka Langley Soryu from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Seriously entire generations of youth, teens and other people are being brainwashed into either becoming Narcissists, condoning Narcissists and falling victim to Narcissists.

[@SuperStella1111]

Online life reveals the worst of late-stage capitalism. It's stripped down to its essentials. Narcissism is also essential to capitalism (see what I did there ;). Read Marx, and don't over-think it.

[@devinaxtman6171]

I am going through a separation, and this video has opened my eyes to the possibility my wife may be narcissistic. She spends money without remorse, regardless of whether it hurts our family so she can feel better. She always tells me she needs to be treated like a queen. In any argument, she can never face the responsibility of her actions and instead focuses on circling back to me in any way possible to get the fault to shift. The anger always goes to me, never to herself and her actions. She may occasionally own up, but it can take quite some time. She also sees any attempt at me to control our spending or living humbly at me trying to control her. She wants her freedom she has told me. She also always needs space which to me is a substitute for saying she wants to do what she wants to do when she wants to. She would always yell at me or put me down, and then when i would get angry it was my fault every time. Some arguments were really intense. The only way to diffuse anything was not by talking about it, but giving her a long time and space. Towards the end, she was abusive, mean and callous. When I would get upset to point this out, she would say I was the abusive one. Basically, it almost seemed like what she was telling me I was, was exactly how she was acting. Stress seemed to be a big catalyst, and in addition she was diagnosed with moderate to severe anxiety. Not sure if that couples with these traits. It was always her emotions over any logic or facts. It NEVER mattered what the reality was, only her feelings. I tried to listen to her feelings but they were usually so off base. My side is I shut down, stopped caring, stooped to her level. This is when she left. I feel bad for going that way, but once she didn’t find me useful she left. One month later she was dating another man. Got to get that supply. I filed for divorce even though she wanted it. I was done. I tried to make it work, but when they try to control you and won’t change and it affects the family, that is when I set my foot down. She didn’t care to change, so probably was for the best. 😔

[@danielsoares3737]

"It never mattered what the reality was... only her feelings". YES!! Absolutely agree with this.

[@danielsoares3737]

@@devinaxtman6171 Let her go... I just told my ex last night to never ever text me again. It was the same story with her. It was all about her feelings. Could never put herself in my shoes and see what she did to hurt me. She does no wrong. Tries to make you apologize for something you didn't even do. Won't listen to your side of the story. 4 yrs down the drain for me over in the blink of an eye. You think you have a strong bond with someone until she finds something she doesn't like, takes everything out of context, makes up a fantasy story as to what happened, and nothing you can show her do or say can change her mind. It is scary. Then you try to speak to her as if she was a rational logical person but she isn't. I'm sorry you are going through this and I know it's hard to be with someone that long and have it all fall apart. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. Remember that and know that it's for the best.

[@clement3164]

This was me two months ago before she took everything in our house n shifted to another house with our three kids.. Am starting from zero with nothing.. God pliz intervene

[@devinaxtman6171]

@@clement3164 feel you brother hang in there. God will show us the right path even if we cannot see it right now

[@pedridemperi9872]

Wow you've painted a picture of my situation nearly word for word

[@ohjesswhatamess]

Shame social media encourages narcissism. Seems we’re at an all time high. Edit: thanks for the video. I wasn’t sure for a long time if I had two narcissistic parents but I’m now almost certain that my mother simply had adhd and a chaotic life that was almost always spinning her out. Good to know I can fix and maintain a relationship with her and I only need to cut out my father to find happiness.

[@MAJPhilipCrabtree]

SPOT ON! That’s how my marriage of 22 years ended in divorce last year. I retired from the Army seven years previously and hadn’t been deployed since 2011. The “Queen” didn’t like me in her domain and manipulated our two older daughters against me. It was a no-fault divorce that she wanted after I stopped feeding her ego in exchange for compromising on my leadership role in the family. She would think she forgot she married a Soldier instead of a pushover. She destroyed our family.

[@stevedee4101]

Stupid American, glorifying soldiers that kill people. Your country's military has murdered millions of innocent people in order to enforce the policies of the rich and powerful. Thanks for your service my arse!

[@chilloften]

Nothing like walking into a workplace as a beautiful quiet humble soul and running into this type no matter the way you turn. It’s crazy. It’s promoted. This sickness. Psychopaths.

[@ar-ry7bo]

I'm in a situation like that.They even talk about me in my presence

[@chilloften]

@@ar-ry7bo I want to guess your field! I’m an RN and it’s making me very ill. I feel completely exploited by these facilities and work alongside the most evil.

[@ar-ry7bo]

@@chilloften You guessed it.Its a care home

[@ar-ry7bo]

@@chilloften Are we in the same work place?😀

[@obi1holyoliver798]

Shhhhh ppl....don't react stay chill😂

[@WorldReserveCurrency]

This is 100% on point. So sad listening to this as it all rings true. I know a female Narcissist from childhood and have seen her mother raise her as her own NPD projection. She's now a full fledged Narcissist. I remember when all this was budding and there was potential for change. Her older sister was marginalized as she didn't get all the attention.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you very much and I wish you all the best.

[@edwardjohnson7034]

Yep, seen it in my girlfriend. When I met first met my girlfriend, her mother was not in the picture, but later she was. I saw my girlfriend going from a real person to a TRUE Narcissist, just like her mother. I had to end this relationship with her, as she competed with and out me down constantly. I miss our getting together.......but, my ego could go NO lower. she told me I was ugly, when I'm really not. I believed her lies, and knew I had to break away from her negativity on me. She can live in here little World, all by herself. Now, her daughter needs to figure it all out because she was always putting her down too. So destructive are these people. I have had so many in my life, including both male and female......and, I am afraid of even letting anyone in my life anymore. I didn't know what it was, but because of watching these types of videos, I now realize my life was FULL of them. NO MORE!

[@DaniefromCanada]

I have a friend who is accomplished academically, she is always pointing it out and makes little comments about how more people need education, then will criticize others for what they're doing in life job or hobby wise. As of she has all the answers, she is really above us all.. That's just one of these traits I notice. But if you spend enough time with these people you will realize it's all a competition and that's all it ever was.

[@wisehippo3072]

She does it because she's insecure. Only insecure people compare themselves to others.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

You're pretty. She's ugly. There you go. You got gifted, she didn't. So, she overcompensates

[@loveinthematrix]

I find that female narcissists hold a certain resentment towards men and society as a whole because they understand the halo effect and that if they are conventionally beautiful, men and society as a whole will celebrate them. I would say it's very easy to fall into their trap because of this - and there are probably people who fall for them who are very shallow, and they use the shallow nature of the person who fell for them to justify their abuse. I know that's sick but I find that to be true.

[@fasttrackblastback8286]

They're Satan's creation. Dressed in the most beautiful flesh he could afford. They're literally a demonic entity.

[@Liz-wz8dh]

That's not necessarily narcissism. There are plenty of male narcissists that cause women to hold resentment towards males. It's on both sides.

[@harteman6363]

Pretty sure i am attracted to female narcissists. The relationship i had before my current relationship, she met all the criteria to a very high degree. I paid a significant price when i left that relationship. She had no problem taking that as a personal injury to herself, and she did wildly unacceptable, illegal things in an attempt to ruin my life. It took me two years to start to see something was wrong. After three years, one day i was reading about what was dysfunctional with our relationship, when i came across literature on npd. Reading that, it hit me like a brick, sent chills down my spine... Every single descriptor i was reading, i had numerous, SEVERE, examples that lined up with them. She was, and is, EXTREMELY dangerous. The law, social norms, rules, they meant nothing to her if you happened to not fit into her idea of how things should be. Revenge porn, breaking and entering, destruction of property, slander, gas lighting, getting a 911 call i made on my birthday, in order to save me from her after she had ran me over physically attacked me and shot her pistol at me, reversed to where the police, on my birthday in a place special to me, wound up arresting me and putting me in jail... I still havent recovered from that relationship. I thought at first she was my soul mate, and i was going to live happily ever after. At the end if it, i realized that what i thought was my soul mate was actually something that wasnt even real. It was all a lie. All of it was constructed. So at the end of it, i lost two people. The imaginary woman I loved wholeheartedly, and the woman I was with for 4 years. I know, with no doubt, that she was not just narcissistic, she had SEVERE npd. And by god, she could convince anybody, even therapists, that she was nothing of the sort. If i tried to get someone to see how evil and fucked up she was, how dangerous she was, it always wound up with me looking like the crazy person. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS. Nobody... I try to explain what i went through, everybody seems to think they have a similar experience. I dont think any of them do... Its very... hard to cope with it all. I lost so much, yet it never even was mine. It didnt exist. Fuck!

[@taffytaffy1451]

😢 Sorry for your experience... Sounds like mine. You may want to work on becoming securely attached. You will learn a lot & avoid attracting these people. Blessings of Love & Protection!

[@mariapatricio1392]

So sorry for all you went through. These experiences are so f**** up that only people who also had a relationship with a NPD (or a BPD) can understand it. I hope you find yourself, and someone who deserves you. Therapy is also extremely important to heal from all this mind f****.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Feel you bruh. Women have showed me their inner ugliness often.

[@TheBigdog868]

You, my friend, have encountered an apex predator. You should feel fortunate to be alive after your experience. I don't believe you have a specific skill attracting them. Like a burglar, they case everyone. You just happened to leave keys in the ignition.

[@alllifematters]

Yo mamma or yo daddy is a narcissist , I bet. Heal it, so you don't repeat it.

[@07wrxtr1]

Richard Grannon hypothesized that most of the time female narcissists are misdiagnosed as BPD - because apparently that’s more acceptable in retaining the victimhood status of women.

[@ItsNicola]

My mom is a covert narcissist and I feel constantly anxious that I'll turn into her. I just want my own children to feel loved unconditionally and happy

[@aymenayech1856]

Don't worry to much , if you fear turning into her,it means you're not like her

[@Belevaqua]

Yes!

[@loveinthematrix]

I consider myself unattractive but I have a nice little spirit on me and there have been times I've been around female narcissists who are considered conventionally beautiful and their brain literally seems to have a circut break if I get attention. ANY attention. It's really intense. There have been times someone has flirted with me and they just cannot handle it. I feel sad for them because they aren't authentic people and a lot of the people who may be interested in me are seeking that authenticity. They put so much work into manipulating people and getting their way that when they see someone who naturally has a power of attraction without fitting into the standards they work their lives to fit into, it really kills them inside. I used to make myself look even worse around them so they wouldn't be threatened - but that just makes them worse & that was wrong of me. I deserve to live my life as I am and not lower myself so other people are even more comfortable. I have a lot of shame for the years I did that. It's not fair to myself or to God

[@anteandrovic]

you might just have personality...something a narcissist can't buy....

[@AwakenedAvocado]

You have depth, I'm an ok looking guy and believe me i will be looking for you and actively ignoring the female narcissists who expect me to give them attention, I won't eve acknowledge them now. It enrages them and I sense thst but don't care. Its about genuine attraction and depth, the things they lack so need to interrupt it.

[@Wes-ku9tb]

You are spot on. I have seen the behaviour you described: actually i have seen where a couple is made the target of mocking abuse because the connection between the two was so despicable to the narc women. Ha, i literally made crucifix fingers at a woman one night and told her not to look at me lol... Talking to the groups tallest woman had made her show her horns. That tall chick was so fine though lol.

[@__thelastpoet]

This. My mother included.

[@sweetluvgurl]

I genuinely think my mom is a narcissist or at least highly narcissistic. She fits so much of the behaviors, and is very toxic, but has never tried to get help.

[@alllifematters]

Welcome to the club 💜

[@passerby6168]

The child that is most peaceful is the one who spots it. And tends to be made the scapegoat child.

[@theunbreaking]

Nor will she. They don’t think there is anything wrong with them

[@Joshdifferent]

Same

[@Joshdifferent]

@@theunbreaking💯

[@jeanross7430]

My mother was one and I suffered from her machinations all my life. She belittled, shamed and made fun of me and then in turn my stepfather. The damage that they inflict behind your back is beyond wicked.

[@allan8936]

Sorry man, this type of abuse goes unnoticed unfortunately

[@Anass.s]

Don't worry bro, they will pay for it eventually. I wish you well

[@edwardgreacen1833]

Thank you for this very helpful video on female narcissistic traits. My mother was a narcissist. Your video helps me to better understand her relationships with me, her third son, my two older brothers, my younger sister, and my father. I appreciate your comments on money as it helps me understand why my father was so controlling of the family budget. He understood her spending habits, and tried to control them (quite successfully, it turned out). I appreciate your explanation of using her children, and the superficiality of the mother-child relationship. Being the Lost Child, I always thought it was my fault. Whew! And the promises made to the oldest son (the Golden Child) were, of course, never fulfilled. By discussing her ambition for recognition, you seem to predict the narcissist's way of achieving success in a few restricted areas of her life. My mother certainly did. She was labelled a "saint" by her long-term pastor when she passed away. It has made me question the whole category we call "sainthood." How many other evil narcissistic fakes do we honor as "saints?"

[@nothanks5846]

Mother Theresa, for one.

[@lesley-annemartin6722]

Wow! Your mother sounds like a twin for mine even down to the religious angle. So thankful I've had the courage to limit my interaction with her.

[@rontober4611]

I have found narcissistic women to be very draining, and you are never done trying to help or please them. You have to walk away no matter how hopeful for change because it will never really happen.

[@_ar.ti.facts_byritadrake]

😮 woah that running example was exactly what my mother would do to me. She’d say I needed to loose weight- she hardly cooked - only fast food . When I did get out of shape she’d take me running n literally ditch me - everything was a competition with her entering my teens . Great insightful video 💜⚡️

[@Craigdna]

It has been my .experience that there is a disturbing jealousy attached to it as well, or at least, it can be attached. Thanks for sharing and I appreciate the depth you put into your presentations. Personally, I am appalled at how we do not look at narccisism as a disorder in females, as observationally, I see a lot of it. It is amaziing what happens when you try and make someone look at themselves obectively, when they do not have that abilty in the prefrontal cortex.

[@aariyahsymone4162]

Diagnosed npd narcissistic personality disorder

[@DNA350ppm]

You know, the sooner we can see that we never can change them, make them more insightful, more empathic, fairer - the sooner we muster the honesty to say thanks and good bye, I'm better off on my own, single and alone, and I don't need a trophy, your looks, nor your money - I long for real human connection, the better. (Btw, almost all women know, that there is female narcissism, even if psychologist wouldn't taken an interest.)

[@Craigdna]

@@DNA350ppm It is very rampant, though. It seems that in the back of my head, I am always trying to filter tht ouot of the new people I meet, or communicate with. The love bombing and sex bombing can do some serious to damage to empathic men, as well as the from narcissistic males on females. I try to explain narcissism in the way that I have been learning, but I come across deaf ears. Clearly, I don't believe we are learning it the riight way, otherwise, it would remain that way for their entire life.

[@DNA350ppm]

@@Craigdna I think thorough-bread narcissists stay such all of their lives. You cannot change them whatever you might do. Most women are not narcissists, I can assure you, but a specific man might have a repetition compulsion because of his upbringing. In a Freudian sense he has an urge to play with fire to learn to deal with it. A healthy way to deal with it, is to learn to notice narcissism, be immediately aware of its danger and the attempts to get you sucked in - and be strong enough to stay far from it. That's a huge win, but a narcissist will never recognize your victories. But never mind - it is important that you yourself give yourself the kudos and awards you deserve - you can do it, and then the world looks so much better and friendlier and more welcoming. All the best wishes to any victims of narcissistic abuse, may you heal and find inner peace and harmony with the help of your own strength and good values. Be brave and stubborn, as your own compass has a true North, because you have fairness and love to measure others with. Follow your bliss!

[@barbarakelly1916]

Jealousy can arise in the narc female even if she has more material things and a more attractive appearance than the person of whom she is jealous. There is always some trait or some thing another has that she is envious of .....never satisfied.

[@WorldOfARandomVegan]

Entitlement, lack of empathy, infidelity, financial abuse and manipulation...all things I suffered from my ex-boyfriend. He caused me soooo much hell!

[@rockkjjuice7514]

This is about a female narcicistic partner

[@brendanvasquez]

@@rockkjjuice7514they always find a way to make it about both genders.. I hate when they do that

[@rockkjjuice7514]

@@brendanvasquez i know right.... WOMEN ☕️

[@Teddymax6891]

I think my baby momma got this.. im pretty sure she destroyed any relationship I have with ex n friends of mine.

[@bbjoyce-je1vx]

Thank You Dr. Fox . I have been dealing with this for decades now. It is very hurtful & damaging. I feel sad because my mother & sister have teamed up against me. There are 6 girls. I am thin like my dad was. I look more like my dad. I was happy and just enjoying life. My mother & sister are very close. Sister is spoiled. I get complimented for being pretty ever since we were kids. The other sisters & this one particular sister were overlooked. She & my mother have made my life a living nightmare. They once drove me to the deepest depression. Every accomplishment was dismissed. Every compliment for me was met with hostility. Both spread lies & rumors about me to this day. I was a minister. I became ill & could not be in the ministry anymore. My mom & sister spread vicious stories that were not true. My sister & mother persecuted me when I was a minister. Then my sister became a minister. She gloated & pummeled me from the Scriptures. She looks down on me and insults me because she is now a minister. I did not become a minister for glory like they kept saying about me. I was not being an attention seeker like they said. My sister is the one acting like the " Scribes & Pharisees". I had to go no contact because her & my mom's insults became too hurtful. Now she & my mom are obese and I am not. They attacked me about that by saying I'm " shallow & superficial". They are both hateful & have always been in a competition against me. I know I have not done anything to deserve this. I am not perfect because sometimes, I push back. They are vicious and enjoy treating me like this. EVERYTHING is a competition. I was not competing with them. They kept accusing me of it. They're happy to see I get sad when they act like the " mean girls" in high school.Thank You..I feel better after watching your video. I can see what was happening clearly.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Popularly, they speak about women with Daddy Issues and Male Mother Need. But, I see a lot of women with terrible relationship to their own mother.I think a lot of women are broken from their toxic mother. I'm both parents-broken. The opposite of toxic isn't nontoxic, it's ambivalent. Like temperatures, one is too hot, the other too cold. Only that happy medium is warm. Don't know what that feels like, but I'm certain I try and replace mom and dad with women and men I meet. Never lasts. I don't need a caregiver, but just some support, advice. Instead I get one sided friendships that end after I'm no longer considered fun. I am fun. But, I'm not shallow. People want unproblematic, low to zero maintenance, entertaining friends. Not another life to solve.

[@anjalE30]

Narcissism is a demonic spirit

[@FESpecialties]

Truly

[@franklogan494]

Rarely spoken of but 100% true, because only a Christian can understand the concept, they have all the traits of their father the devil, lying, deceiving and vanity.

[@SalvadorHernandez-to2gq]

100%

[@FabianMarquez-sy7jw]

Why u say that?

[@mikedarren6658]

@@FabianMarquez-sy7jw Because they make a conscious choice to behave as they do. They can turn it on or off depending on who they're interacting with.

[@therealnambro]

As Dr. Ramani has said, these labels like 'narcissist' or 'sociopath' don't really matter so much these days as it's the abusive mechanisms that are used by people with these antisocial personality disorders that we must watch out for! Whether or not someone is or is not a 'narcissist' is almost irrelevant! NAMBRO = Narcissistic Abuse Must Be Rightfully OUTLAWED!

[@DrDanielFox]

I agree

[@Ironboots123]

I realize my wife is a narcissist because she never takes accountability and I can never have a rational conversation and she lies and won’t even acknowledge when facts are presented. She will always deflect and even turn it around on me and want me to believe. I’m filing for divorce this week. There’s nothing that I can say or do to change her behavior and I’m not like her mother and sisters husbands that have been taught that they must be passive. Otherwise their marriage would have failed. A living nightmare. Truly a nightmare. I was married to a normal woman for 30 years and never experienced anything like this.

[@DrDanielFox]

Sorry to hear that. It sounds difficult. I wish you well.

[@zeddeka]

It's very interesting - it's a textbook description of my sister. I've often wonder whether there's also an overlap with things like oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder. My grandmother warned my parents when she was very young that they'd have terrible trouble with her - she quite literally told my parents that my sister 'would always go where the grass was greener!' As a teen, she stole money from myself and my parents and the police became involved when it transpired that she had taken my parents' ATM card and withdrawn money on numerous occasions. She latched on to a man in her later teens with money and married him - We later found out that he was a drug dealer and that she'd also been syphoning money out of him. They divorced when she found someone else who had more money, and he found out she was cheating on him (not for the first time). Since then, she became very successful in MLM, an industry I believe is notorious for being a magnet for narcissists. She is now almost 50 and has had plastic surgery on numerous occasions. I feel very sorry for her children - they're all essentially objects that she uses for attention for herself. Interestingly, her two youngest children have been diagnosed with ADHD. My parents said the youngest child reminded them very much of my sister. They found her going through their luggage, looking for something to take. When my parents challenged her, she became aggressive and unpleasant. Does make you wonder how much of a generic element there is.

[@hotfudgecake]

Is your mother a similar way? Because I don't feel it's genetics so much as it is mother's passing narc traits down to daughters (common) and sons . But yeah it can totally overlap with things like ODD and other diagnoses.

[@zeddeka]

@@hotfudgecake There are certainly some traits in my mother's family. Her father and in particular his mother were terrible snobs. My mother and my grandmother had a very bad life with him. But my mother always has had very conventional morality and was loving. Stealing and cheating appalled her. Interestingly, my dad's side of the family has had a lot of trouble. My dad's brother was in court twice for stealing from his job. We found out from my cousin, his son, that he'd also actually stolen from him when he was a teenager - taken his ATM card too and withdrawn the money. He also cheated on his wife and had a very grandiose sense of self, although he never amounted to much. The generation before that, my dad's uncle, was also apparently very similar. My dad himself has a lot of the traits of ADHD: the quick temper, the difficulty in processing decisions and the wandering mind - he though has a very rigid sense of black and white morality and was appalled by it all too. A couple of my cousins are like my sister - one developed a bad drug habit, stole from my aunt and went round posing as a qualified nurse to get work. Another has the fiery temper and emotional instability. He too was in trouble as a teen for stealing and is very much the outcast of his siblings.

[@drebugsita]

@@zeddeka It sounds like you're implying ADHD and NPD traits are related, or at least conflating them. Why connect ADHD to narcissism? Black and white thinking, one of your examples of ADHD, is not a sign or symptom of ADHD. It is a symptom of anxiety, but everyone suffers from anxiety. Please do not further stigmatize people with ADHD by relating it to narcissism. it does not further understanding on these issues and its ableist.

[@velvetbees]

Youtr poor parents. How heart breaking for them and also you.

[@zeddeka]

@@matilda4406 it's very interesting - she had a problem with a valve in her stomach and was in and out of hospital a lot during her first year. My parents said they spoiled her to make up for it. I'm her younger sibling and she's been pretty awful to me throughout her life, although I haven't had any contact with her since 2003. My parents definitely didn't enable that, but she was always awful when they weren't there. I stopped speaking to her after an event in 2003 when I passed my masters degree, and as was pretty commonplace then, my parents put a little thing in the local newspaper to say congratulations. Despite the fact that she was 30 years old, she absolutely exploded. She rang around all the extended family telling them I was gay (pretty homophobic family), and that she had been abused by my parents when a child (TOTALLY untrue). She also took all the toys my parents had bought her young daughter and left them on my parents step one night. We found out a couple of months later that she had emigrated to Australia with her then husband and that she'd actually been planning it for months. That all exploded too - after getting there, she started an affair with another man who she thought had more money than her husband. She and the first husband had a very nasty breakup and her poor young daughter ended up in therapy - she wouldn't eat because she thought everyone was trying to poison her. My sister subsequently got heavily involved in MLMs and made a bucket load of money (apparently MLMs are like a magnet for Narcissists). But she left a trail of destruction behind her too. One MLM she worked for put out a public statement saying they were going to sue her for breach of contract and that she and her new husband were greedy, unscrupulous people. Also lots of people on Facebook complaining how she used and abused them. Time doesn't seem to have changed her, other than the huge amount of plastic surgery she's had. She recently gave a testimonial online about some company. She had breast cancer, like my mother had, and talked about how she'd only got checked because she had a dream telling her. Again, a total lie. She'd been getting checked regularly since my mother had it in the 90s.

[@rhiannonl4733]

Several of the traits you listed I have deeply entrenched: self-doubt, fear, guilt, inferiority, shame.. But I don’t have the false sense of confidence, attention-seeking, putting others down. I’d be curious to learn why some develop those narcissistic traits and others do not. Thanks for the video Dr Fox.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Theory: A low self esteem extrovert becomes a malignant narc. A low self esteem introvert becomes a covert or vulnerable narc.

[@hotfudgecake]

​@@thereisnosanctuary6184exactly

[@tdesq.2463]

​@@thereisnosanctuary6184 ... in the Halls of Shambala. Great song, by the way!

[@alllifematters]

I was listening to Jung's work the other day and he said something like , "an inability to stop the bad behaviors causes the personality to fragment" or something like that... And it becomes a pattern and deep ingrained way of being ... Because if they allow themselves to do bad things they have to justify to themselves why it's ok... We all have the narcissistic traits and bad thoughts etc... But we have tried to stop ourselves from doing bad things most likely based on the internal recognition of feelings that don't feel good... So like if I steal something from a store, if I were a narcissist, I would tell myself that I deserve what I stole and that the store owed me or whatever... And this would happen over and over again which kinda trains the brain to think in a certain way over time.

[@alllifematters]

And to add to my comment and answer the other part of the question why do some develop and others do not is based on heredity and environment. If you have love and a parent who can mirror your emotions and mirror to you love and acceptance and safety, trust then you begin to develop a sense of self ... In my own life, I had a father who loved me and this gave me some sense of self ... A connection to self helps to build self confidence, an internal picture of who you are ... So when we have a chance to lie or whatever we can stay with our true feelings and feel that lying in most cases is wrong and not do it, and not have to justify anything to ourselves. :) Hope this doesn't make things more confusing ;)

[@pisztufilm]

I live with two female narcissists, one is a vulnerable classic and the other is Machiavellan with a hint of psychopathy.

[@coinspeednews4703]

That's next level masochism lol

[@pisztufilm]

@@coinspeednews4703 just two elderly ladies... but good to know this about them ;)

[@foxiefair123]

@@pisztufilm Yeah, being elderly definitely doesn’t change anything.😂 My mom is one.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Yep

[@FGFGrateful]

What I've found about female narcs that I've dealt with. Is that they have the emotional mentality of a 12 year old. Maybe that's where they were damaged beyond and were never able to grow. As they get older and never do the shadow work. They get even worse. And all the hope, care and support in the world can't force an ego death. I guess that's why they say there's no cure for narcissism. Sad.

[@Doct0rGonZo]

Maybe psychedelics

[@mimsay2u]

This seems a very simplistic description when narcissism is far more complex.

[@dougp5573]

When I watch a video like this it’s hard for me to believe that I didn’t see this happening to me for 20 years of marriage,it’s like he is telling my story about what she did to me and how I responded and yet he was never there.Thank you for the information in the end it makes me realize it wasn’t me .

[@rontober4611]

After the fact it's easy to say...love and appreciate yourself and don't let anyone belittle you and you believe it. Leave any woman or man that doesn't show care thats real.

[@benzomike]

People out there I want to let you know this guy did a perfect example of explaining the scenario that you know that we all deal with give this guy thumbs up and subscribe he seems to know what he's talking about.

[@lt827]

I agree with everything except the part about excessive spending. My sister is the most narcissistic person I know and she is also the cheapest except when spending on things she deems worthy such as a house or a car. She lives in a nice home but only let her teenage daughter take a shower once a week and kept the thermostat so low they had to wear winter coats inside

[@TD-nn4fu]

Yes this one I have seen too, with my Narc Aunt.

[@lesley-annemartin6722]

There may be secret spending on herself that you don't know about. It could also be accumulating stuff. Sometimes we only find out about this sort of trait when something happens that changes that person's situation.

[@lt827]

@@lesley-annemartin6722 she started the draconian level spending on necessities for her daughter only once her husband left. Yes, there was a big change. She blamed it on her ex not paying adequate child support.

[@NeoBoithatelo]

Exactly what I have always thought..was dying to know the female narcissist traits

[@beckyhayob1557]

What you said in this video is absolutely accurate. I just moved away from a housemate who displayed every single one of these traits. Thank you for the insight.

[@spaideman7850]

yes, narc is EXTREMELY concern about their look, their clothing, their car, their image$.

[@kencress3665]

It's the Jezebel spirit which can also be found in males, it's overcome or slain by the Spirit of jehu

[@kwc7391]

I cannot be 100% sure but I believe I was with for two years a covert female narcissist. I got treated very very good for the first 5 to 6 months. Then things started to happen. She was always right, never wrong, when I would tell her I loved her, she would only say "I know that". Never tell me she loved me. Belittled me many times. I was always on the bottom of her list to be with. Always in the events helping out, doing may charity functions, being with her friends, but I was on the last of the list. There were times I would feel drained when I got back home. Told me how to dress and there were times I didn't really know who I was anymore.I broke up with her three months ago, and I heard she has been seeing somebody else since last month. She’s only 5 foot one, but she has an ego of 10 feet. She is now with a new supply, and they go places a lot and he spends time at her place a lot. "She is not posting anything on social media. Not letting anyone know". I have driven by her house and always see his car there. I am having a hard time getting over her even though I broke it off. I guess it’s because she has somebody, and she’s happy with, and I am still without a partner. BTW: she is 70 and so am I. Just having a hard time gripping this.

[@fasttrackblastback8286]

Bro, age aside, I've been through this. It gets easier. But you really have to cut ties and remind yourself why you broke it off. They're very good at making it look like they're happy but when you think of it she's probably just doing the same to that guy. You escaped. Live the rest of your life free from this attachment. All the best!

[@cynthiajohnson1914]

She is not happy..she is playing the same bs with her new "supply"...you are probably a wonderful person who deserves so much more, so stay away, she will never change. ❤

[@yanceydavenport8657]

Weve all been there ... remember all the things you wrote !! Your better off without her ...don't torture yourself by checking on her ....

[@lesilluminations1]

I'm 68 and broke free at 65. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Two years of steady pain but starting to feel like my old self again. You will too but not if you keep driving by her house.

[@goodoledad]

omg. was married 23yrs. my ex never opened up to me. i joked about how i knew nothing about her. but she loved using my openness against me

[@MrsD3Aer]

They are like my dogs, I love observing my dogs…it brings me joy. Poppy and Paxton look so much alike. I like watching them…. So cozy and sweet, sometimes a bit sassi .:..and.i love the “Wahooo’s” . Those make my day ♥️

[@KeithBell-t5p]

Years ago my ex went on a chat line to say her husband did not want her to go out with other men. What a cheek she said. She then left me with 5 children still living at home, the youngest being our 12 yr old daughter. She has just resurfaced after 19 years wanting the house that I live in with 2 adult of our adult children to be sold because she received an inheritance from her mother's estate, which was not enough to buy a suitable house. I go to court in 9 days time.

[@lesilluminations1]

Good luck. Keep your cool.

[@obi1holyoliver798]

The end is near they maker will come for them ..stay on the right course ppl

[@SuperStella1111]

I was raised by a narcissist. She'll die alone and she earned it. I feel parentless - like I had no mother or father. I'm interested in how narcissists turn their children into people who become ALMOST like them without the malice. I feel like a weird shadow of my mother. Even as a child I judged her judgment of others. I found her cruel and uncaring to the poor, or helpless. In adult life, I crave approval, but love it when others get it. I take joy in the accomplishments of others, but have the fear and shame of a narcissist when I don't succeed. Then again, maybe success is something we've turned into something so toxic in this society, I would feel like this anyway. Why am I "half" bad?

[@SuperStella1111]

@@kssendthemamessage6818 it’s so kind of you to say that, thank you.

[@alexxxO_O]

@@kssendthemamessage6818 your reply wasn't for me but it helped me too. Thank you.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Sound healthy to me.

[@mommicus3894]

I gave your BPD workbook to a friend and she actually received it in a positive way. Thank you!

[@DrDanielFox]

Wonderful!

[@Vagabond336]

This is exactly what is happening to me.... I lost my job and everything while trying to make her happy and now that I'm broke ,I can't seem to make her happy .whenever I bring it up ,I'm gaslighted and told that why am I trying to do what she want now ...why didn't I do it before. She tells me she loves me and wants to be with me but everyday I can't see the disappointment in her eyes. No more intimacy what so ever and she would rather be alone on her phone ,talk to the kids or sleep then to spend time with me .I moved into her mother's house since her Mother passed away so we can raise our baby together but now everything I choose to do with her is biting me back .

[@ragnarkristoffersen]

Attention, Attention, Attention, Attention, Attention, Attention, Attention, Attention.

[@daisyfield362]

Narcissistic women are also very snobbish!

[@CelticVampireQueen]

My mom was a narcissist and she beat me so bad I was bruised because I'm emotionally immature. Now swap those roles, ignorance is bliss.

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm really sorry to hear that you've been through such a difficult experience. It's important to acknowledge our past and work towards healing.

[@canadafragrancereviewerdia9119]

My daughter is a narcissist and it has destroyed our relationship and as a result is destroying my relationship with my grandchildren. I really have to keep her at a distance because I physically and mentally cannot handle her abuse. It’s heartbreaking for me and I’m trying to decide if I should keep her in my life or just walk away. I’m at the end of my rope with her.

[@Smithpolly]

Has she been diagnosed by a professional as a narcissist or is that your personal opinion?

[@GamerOnLoan]

​​@@SmithpollyRight?.. I am curious as well. Also, the poster surely must have some form of notification (to see these responses). As a parent myself. No matter how hurt I've been from the interactions I've had with my children, would ever cut them out of my life.. help your child to correct her behavior before its been embedded into the next generation of your family for crying out loud.

[@edithtierce8209]

@@GamerOnLoanIf a relationship with her daughter is at the expense of the rest of the family and other kids/grandkids I hope she does cut her off…. Unlike my own mother who will choose one of my brothers over the rest of us, even though that comes with along with his manipulation and insanity. She will choose him until the end I fear……..

[@sherriwilliams1624]

It’s unfortunate that others can’t call it when they see someone with the characteristics of a malignant narcissist. That’s what has caused so much destruction in the lives of so many innocent ppl. Narcs don’t seek mental health attention so we have to call it when we see it.

[@BayouBilly751]

Im now realizing my ex wife was a Narc. She walked out on me, her 2 sons, and our son, we had together and I just thought she was selfish but now everything makes sense since she literally fits every example this gentleman uses. She would get so mad when people would compliment me, she was so jealous of my accomplishments, and she was so enticed by her co-worker who would go dancing all the time.

[@Shaista.Raja.786.]

Today all human beings whatever their gender have some of these habits and even in physiologist too...

[@PhantomQueenOne]

I'm pretty sure my mother was a narc. I knew from the times I was five that she didn't love me. I even told the next door lady that she didn't. The lady was stunned. I think the only reason she had me was to have a servant. She dies a number of years ago. I don't miss her. My father was a control freak. I pretty much don't miss him either. Strangely, my mother told me that I was an adult in a child's body. I had very little luck with other kids, it's like I didn't understand them.

[@fiham4407]

Most of the narcs I have encountered have been female.

[@TreasureDeal]

My narc mother trained my daughter very well from a young age. I didn't know what narcissists were until about a year ago, I just knew it was some kind of horrible manipulation. My daughter is obsessed with her hair, wears v cut or low-cut tops, and then makes a point of telling men, "Hey, my eyes are up here, I'm talking to you!" She would say your makeup looks nice but... . She would cut my hair and I ended up looking chopped but "you don't appreciate what I do for you." Her fave saying is " my husband " who is a good lap dog. A yes honey man, no matter how much she rags him and directs his every move including how often he is allowed to see his parents. I await the day when he finally grows a pair and leaves her. She's an Amazon addict and has things delivered several times a week. Keeps the credit cards on 0 balance and expects him to make up the difference for the next purchase. It's stunning to me. Her behavior forced me to move 2 states away and cut all communications with her. It's funny how much better I'm feeling and doing in life now. Thank God!

[@chrissmall1246]

In my female narcissistic experience she continually ran from well to well in an effort to fill her bucket. The never ending search for recognition, admiration and validation. Always searching for the next pay on the back. I noticed it early but didn't understand narcissism. I fly under the radar. I don't search for validation. I don't like to lead, Im s good soldier with a good heart. Made me an easy mark. Trying to be good to a narcissist only feeds their supply.

[@DrDanielFox]

It certainly can. Boundaries are critical. I’m so glad you found the video helpful. Be well.

[@ChristiColonel]

Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned. The holy Bible warns against crazy women. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A WOMAN!

[@paoladiak3959]

For me narcissistic traits is a female thing, so much that when men are narcissists i perceive their attitude as female. i think is a matter of culture

[@TheJoyofCooking24]

Narcissist men are feminine women. Their manipulation is very feminine. Normally men tend to be very Alpha and straightforward, but narcissists are very strategic and very insecure.

[@martinozueh2533]

I totally agree with you

[@JCAvenged]

Was married to one for two years, and I didn't know what a narcissist was until it was too late. It was just her, her daughter from a previous marriage, and I. Rocky marriage from the start, with highs and very bad lows. But I still loved her despite all she did to me. She gave me a son back in February this year. Fast forward to July, she meets someone at her new workplace that she abandoned her entire family for. Concocted a story to her ex-husband to take my stepdaughter away to another state and ditched our 4 month old son at the time. All so she can live a new life and be with a new man. She also manipulated and spread lies to many of my friends in a smear campaign. The funny part is that the new supply just wanted to sleep with her and doesn't want the same thing she does, but she's still simping for his commitment to this very day. I'm still going through the divorce right now, but it's crazy how someone can do that to someone else and their family. Evil people that destroy anything good they have in an instant and impulsively. Luckily, she's giving me full custody of my son. Be aware of the red flags, folks.

[@lesilluminations1]

I know, the evil is unbelievable.

[@li37444]

When I was in addiction I was like this. not all the time. He made me think I was a narcissist but I feel empathy and ask how can I change? Being sober has taught me how to b in society etc. I also have eupd and therapy is giving me the awarenes I need to how to change. Also I take accountability for things so I think it was more addiction side for me xx

[@Billybunts]

I'm with you on this

[@michaelarcher4643]

Somehow it looks like you are describing 99% of women.

[@fightswithspirits915]

I think many female narcs have yt channels about narcs.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

T H I S.

[@boblevey]

Very very good!!! I was the one that said that’s it “NO More” it was like the monster treadmill and nothing made the beast happy. 35 yrs, I don’t know how I put up with it. I’ll say I wasn’t an angel especially in the beginning but I worked hard and changed a lot but that wasn’t enough. Then it was jealousy, accusations all that sort behavior. It wore me out. Then it started getting physical with me trying to get me to react, no way. I am martial artist with many championship fights state and national. So silly and stupid. Then alienate our son who has some mental issues which I was never told about or the depths of them. I wouldn’t do this to might worst enemy. Very sad. But thank you, I got a lot out of this one!!!

[@savedbyhismercyandlove]

Now imagine the Female Narcissist that IS very good looking and intelligent and has Men constantly chasing them validating the Narc traits.....

[@CorvusCoroneCanisLupusSawel]

yep, my ex in a nutshell

[@TheJoyofCooking24]

I am that female, but I have low self esteem and never understood what those men saw in me. I don't feel beautiful and intelligent, but most people say so.

[@Janet-fq3mv]

So glad I finally learned in life that I am targeted over and over by these narcs since birth both male and female. I realized that it was keeping me from living in peace. I see the signs now and do not fall for it. I was always thinking , why are people jealous of me , Im not that great. Well turns out it was Narcissism, not me. Finally peace 😊

[@tarawarren8573]

Every person has narcissistic tendencies. It’s keeping yourself in check. Of course I understand what you’re describing.. it’s the individuals who are not aware of the toxicity and operating in a way that makes them a very dangerous person. Being a survivor of narcissistic abuse and still at the age of 51.. dealing with the long term effects on my nervous system I feel like I have a internal tracker, and it’s like device that is able to detect narcissistic behavior.. in others.. over giving.. and over taking all of it is about control and feeding the self.

[@laraoneal7284]

It is so easy. It doesn’t have to be complicated at all, once u observe that a person has NPD you never see them again. Go ghost . We don’t ever have to deal with them again. No games, no gaslighting NOTHING.

[@richardbensinger6922]

They enjoy using your resources. It's part of the hustle.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

8 Toxic Positivity

[@lilian9577]

What a life to live. I compete against myself. I like peace no time for insecurity. Mental issues no real self worth.

[@VictorVargasJr-h6n]

Everything you described is what I'm going through now..and for a while now,with my lady,She is definitely a narcissist,/bipolar. Don't know the future....been trying for years...Thanks for the info Doc.

[@DrDanielFox]

You’re very welcome. Be well

[@susannehuber3996]

Wow, men in the comment sections are so smart. So every women that rejects them is a narc. What a good test. 😂😂😂

[@raregrimebeats1352]

Yes that’s right. It’s not a laughing matter

[@nonibbs]

Terrific stuff - very helpful.

[@lesliel1182]

Thanks...you said something very poignant that really put things in perspective for me about them being that you try and make them happy, but you can never achieve it. I was raised by one or perhaps 2 and as a result had 0 sense of self. Not a good thing for a man going out into the world. It essentially ruined my life. They're really pos and should be avoided at all costs.

[@MrsD3Aer]

My narc mother had 2 daughters. 1 was the scapegoat and 1 was the golden child. I was the scapegoat and my golden child sister got to be exactly like her..and she made son that is just like her as well. Me as the scapegoat got be more a real human with empathic feelings. I’m proud of it and left the family as I’m not like them. I don’t want these monsters in my life

[@eduardofigueroa3020]

My last girlfriend, although i wouldn’t call her a narcissist, she was very inconsiderate and insensitive. On the night my mother died of cancer, this lady had the gall to tell me i wasn’t “doing enough” even tho i was both working and going to college full-time…. I’ve never felt so dehumanized. I suffer from depression, had a call center job which made it even worse, i started taking voluntary time off to mitigate some of the effects. I had talked to her about the toll the job was taking on me. Bills were paid and fridge was full. But she said to me “i know when we buy a house and have kids I’m gonna be alone raking care of the baby and finances”, morning after that incident, she packed her things and left me… i never expected to be discarded like that and at such a low point in my life. Idk, that was 3 weeks ago and i still miss here (i know, I’m a whole clown and circus). If anyone can gimme any input, even if to make fun of me, I’d be thankful.

[@Teddybeloved]

My mom loved showing me the movie Mommy Dearest. I understand the daughter character more now. However I think more about Cruella Deville

[@universelove6163]

Had a huge side about this video but I’m glad I’m open to hearing more then speaking.. thank you for the knowledge 🙌🏾

[@1027MissBear]

One of the most glaring red flags that my ex-wife displayed was during our , what I thought, were innocent games of Scrabble. She hated to lose. And when I would win, she would accuse me of needing to win for my ego. It was awful. Our last game was during a WWF app game. I thought I had defeated her, when she came up with a miracle word and won by a point. She never played me again. Retiring a " winner".

[@themajesticmagnificent386]

I’ve always wanted to produce a show called “Narcissist Island”…100 narcissist are left on a tropical island for a year to find the ultimate narcissist.!..We’ll make sure there’s no dangerous animals on the island like poisonous snakes.Before filling the island with poisonous human snakes.There be huge warehouses full of every type of food and clean water,so no hunger struggles..Also there be showers and each narcissist gets their own hut..Then we’ll leave the narcissist’s alone..One year later we’ll come back and find the last narcissist happily eating the second from last narcissist..The horror of them will soon become apparent when we find the food warehouses still full of food and hardly touched.!

[@kendigjl]

I'll never forget when my ex-wife said "What did you think would happen?" when she was caught being unfaithful. Now she's divorced from the guy she married after me - and has reached out to me to try and get back together. That second husband apparently was beating on her. I wonder if she was unfaithful to him and he asked her "What did you think would happen?"

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your story. It's important to reflect on past experiences and learn from them. I hope you find the happiness you deserve.

[@kimberlybaker5133]

Is it common/ uncommon to have several traits from several class b personalities like borderline, narcissistic personality disorder and histrionic? If so, what would one be diagnosed with if you had several of each?

[@rm6857]

they are overlaped, thats why they are in same cluster of personal disorders.

[@kimberlybaker5133]

@@rm6857 I know. I don't think you understood the question.

[@specialtwice4975]

It's sort of common, probably about 20% of people who have cluster b disorders. It's called co-morbid personality disorders, or more than 1 personality disorder. This is possible, for example, someone could have bpd and Npd or Aspd and Npd. We don't know why this is but it is possible.

[@miles-thesleeper-monroe8466]

Good point I'm recovering from this kind of abuse and lots of BPD boxes ticked too. I observed her long enough to know she's got an unresolved deep seated issue. When u love someone u want to relieve them from that burden, but no, they are feral and will not get it ever. I learned that 5 years too late

[@michelekurlan2580]

Pretty awful, and so true. My gender can be and is a tough social order. And I have noticed females tending towards narcissism are more underhanded, more covert. I, too, have to watch myself in certain situations. A personal example was at a highschool reunion. 2 classmates who were good pals came over to me and one of them gave me a high compliment about my appearance and the other jumped right in with : "it must just be the lighting." I was a bit taken aback and found myself agreeing to placate her. It was very mean. The one who offered the nice compliment cringed at her friend's comment. I was an awkward, unpopular schoolgirl. The one making the slam had been involved with the popular group in grammar school and I suppose she wanted to put me in my place for her own comfort even tho we were well into adulthood. The snapshot of me in her mind simply could not be updated,edited, SHOPPED..LOL Guess I had trouble editing my self-image too bcuz of my abovementioned response . I knew it when I was doing it. Still a work in progress. Aren't we all... Very helpful, yes, Dr. Fox. Thankyou

[@barbarakelly1916]

"agreeing to placate her" or "going along to get along" is a common strategy when being ambushed in a public situation. Please consider that your response helped "drop the subject', although it left you and the person who complimented you uncomfortable. The complimenter cringed, with recognition of very mean behavior and a lower opinion of the Mean Girl. Chances are that, if you took the bait and argued, the Mean Girl would love the conflict and turn it into High Drama . Narcs love that; and they MUST win every Catfight at the Highschool Reunion. In my opinion, you did well!

[@michelekurlan2580]

@@barbarakelly1916 thx for reading all that I wrote and your feedback. There are seemingly more and more "mean girls" out there.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

@@michelekurlan2580 My ex told me once that a coworker of hers said I was staring at her in the mall. Maybe I looked at her, but I never sit or stand still in a mall, so I would have been moving too fast to stare at someone. No idea who this coworker was, she must have seen me with my ex. Or maybe was in that nurse friend group i basically avoided. Either way, it was more fuel on the fire for our inevitable break up since she had extreme jealousy issues which I had enflamed early in the relationship and was trying to make amends ( locked head when eating at a restaurant, never averting eyes if a waitress passed by.) I just wonder why this stranger I couldn't make out in a crowd felt the need to tell my girl that. If i glanced, she probably was attractive, but like I said i move fast in a mall, sometimes purposely doing laps as indoor exercise.

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

And I wanted to know my girl the rest of my life. I never wanted to be with another. She's gone. No idea where.

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

I think what you bring up is important to recognize. When people talk about bullying they talk about the kind boys and men do. It's very direct towards their victim but girls and women bully in the covert and underhanded way you describe. As in your example anything directly targeting their victim will be kind of sly. They won't just call you ugly and be done with it; they get little digs in while maintaining a kind of plausible deniability. Their main weapon however is reputation destruction. Think of how stereotypical "mean girls" will talk about how awful another girl or woman is behind their back. They may even be pleasant to their victim's face all while trying to turn everyone else against her with gossip and lies. If the female bully is ever called out on her BS by anyone she'll play the victim and act like it's _everyone else_ that's in the wrong. It's that last bit that makes talking about female narcissism or bullying by girls and women so difficult. In any discussion about women behaving poorly there are women who will show up and say the entire discussion is "sexist" and rooted in our society's deep-seated misogyny. Anytime men criticize a woman or group of women they'll say it just goes to show how hateful those men are and how afraid they are of all men as a result. If you're a woman who happens to agree with those men you have "internalized misogyny" and need to "support women". Of course everyone knows "support women" means "never criticize women at all and tenaciously defend any woman who is criticized." It's asinine. I think a lot of women know all this "support women" crap is just supporting the most awful women but are they're too afraid to call it out.

[@AllinWhenPlaying]

Narcissist girls, especially ones with daddy issues are the funniest when they realize that they've ran into another fellow ASPDer, just one that's WAY less emotional, if you know what I mean. Just as a rule, never let them know where you live, where you park and always have a cattle prod handy when they finally take off with the show, just in case.

[@georgew.5639]

I was married to a female narcissist. And I’ve been acquainted with other women who also exhibited these traits. Only I didn’t know the traits until after my marriage ended in divorce.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s definitely a tough journey to navigate, and recognizing those traits is a significant step towards healing.

[@amber40494]

I have self doubt, guilt, shame, fear of success but im not a narcissist

[@Blackwaterswamp]

You most likely were traumatized in childhood by one, if you are still suffering, you have un healed trauma.

[@TheJoyofCooking24]

Sounds like we grew up in the same home. I fear being looked as better than even with people who are beneath me.

[@robynfoss9449]

But do you tear other people down to build yourself up. That would be the definition of a narcissist, to belittle, verbally attacked other people to make themselves feel better about themselves

[@amber40494]

@@robynfoss9449 my parents did that alot! But how do 2 narcs get along? They blame eachother

[@amber40494]

@@Blackwaterswamp I'm not suffering much anymore. Anna has helped me alot. I do still have to watch out for fawning and feeling like a helpless victim in difficult situations.

[@tripzville7569]

We are all broken to various degrees , but the narc is broken beyond repair simpily because they refuse to accept their brokenness.