The 9 biggest difficulties I faced living in France

Starting over in a new country is NOT easy. And it has taken me five years to get to the level of comfort I now have here in France. In this video, I discuss the nine hardest things I’ve faced while adjusting to life here. Check it out!
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[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Which of these challenges surprises you the most?

[@kerouac2]

Actually something that I appreciate the most: the fact that the French are ready to challenge every opinion that you have rather than saying "okay, fine" or "cool."

[@ladysunshine9029]

The dryer thing is surprising. A washing machine and dryer is a deal breaker for me. Can you get your own or is that not an option when renting?

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

I haven't asked,@@ladysunshine9029. For now I'll make do. It's motivation to buy my own place.

[@kerouac2]

I moved to France 50 years ago. Try to imagine the additional complications back then...

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Wow! I CAN'T imagine. Bravo! Are you still in France?

[@kerouac2]

@@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat Yes, of course. I would never live anywhere else.

[@francoisleyrat8659]

Hello Kerouac, I Iurk on the Trip Advisor forum and always like your (sound) interventions. I posted many years ago under the name "Trudaine".

[@saga4646]

I adored this video. I am in the planning phase of moving to Perpignan but I found it hilarious that when I moved to Miami I encountered the same annoyances . It was like living in another country with the personal space and the delivery faux pas. I think after surviving there for 4 years I have a head start. Thank you for your honesty

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Yes, culture shock is not reserved for when you moved to a foreign country, though perhaps it can be more pronounced. You've been in training for the last four years . Best wishes with your move plans.

[@Nickysmom]

I agree with you about the disappointment in my countrymen who thought trump should have a second term. On what planet? You would have felt it at home, maybe even more

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[@jackiej.2868]

As far as the personal space in the supermarket, try standing in front of the grocery cart instead of behind it. I do that here in the states when I feel cramped in the market.

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Good tip for the personal space issue. Thank you!

[@wilgipp4653]

Thank you for being so honest and forthcoming with your experiences. We have been here 18 months now, it’s been VERY challenging. I think getting a drivers license should be added to the list and the strange reciprocity between SOME US states that allow just handing over a US license to get a French one, versus other states where we spend €1000 and months studying to take a written test, then driving school, and finally an in- car driving test. After having 40 years of no accident driving in the US and other countries. Very frustrating. The visitor visa renewal each year also costs €225. Let’s hope 2024 is not a re-election of a wanna be dictator!

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

You are welcome. You make some good points. Getting a D, I understand, can be a bit of a challenge if you don't have one from a state with the exchange agreement. Bon courage !

[@pearbear319]

n.o matter how well one learns a foreign language, real fluency occurs after living in that foreign country for a long while. It is natural and not negative to make all kinds of grammar mistakes

[@tararasque932]

True this. Speaking as a language teacher here. One of the most common things I hear is 'I've been studying French for years (or decades,) I can understand almost everything but I just CAN'T speak.' And you WON'T be able to speak, no matter how perfect your grammar is, until you've spent a respectable amount of time in an immersion setting having NO CHOICE but to verbally communicate. Not in a setting where you're going out and buying a baguette in French then going home and speaking to your spouse in English for the other 23 hours 50 minutes of the day. Once you're in a real immersion setting all the grammar you've studied will snap into place in an amazingly short period of time. If you're at a point where you can understand another language, you'll be able to 'speak' that language quickly once you get some consistant practice opening your mouth and communicating in real-life situations.

[@mandorlap8091]

You are very courgeous. - For moving abroad - Thanks for being honest. This is the video that many people don’t make….talking about the truth!

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Ah, thank you. It's important to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly.

[@msilas5577]

Most surprising is the challenge of personal space. That’s so shocking that people would be so close!!! I’ve been thinking about it for 3 years… I guess it’s time to do something

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Yes and no. It's a matter of culture and what is acceptable. Thanks for sharing.

[@tararasque932]

And she's not exaggerating in any way whatsoever. People WILL be standing a millimeter away from you reaching over your shoulder to grab that bag of lentils in the grocery store, best expect it and get used to it. And like she learned, they're not doing it to be rude. They're doing it to get their bag of lentils. Don't think they're trying to offend you or even paying any attention to you. They aren't. You're not 'special.' They're there to buy lentils and that's what they're doing.

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

@@tararasque932 yes. And they aren't special either though that could be an interpretation of this too. It's just the way they do. Thanks for your comment.

[@athrunzala6770]

@@tararasque932 I would even go further... people preferred that you move aside to catch the lentils more easily... but since you are there they go over your shoulder. and if you're lucky you'll even be able to hear them swearing lol

[@BaguetteBound]

Oh the flies! Weirdly I felt this one deeply. I asked a French friend "what do you do about the flies???" And she was like "what do you mean?". Clearly she just accepted them as a part of life! To the point she couldn't even understand why I was bringing them up. That was a moment I realized too this is a package deal. To feel really settled you've got to accept the whole thing.

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

😂"What do you mean?"😂Yes, it's a package deal. Thanks for watching!

[@Alex-mp1zb]

A lot of people in Southern France have screens in their windows to protect themselves from flies and mosquitoes.

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

I've only seen a few houses with screens.@@Alex-mp1zb. What seems to be popular, at least in this region, is beaded curtains. Definitely will have them (screens) when I buy my own place.

[@Ellinillard]

Have a trip around Australia and see what flies really mean. 😂

[@MarianneInmarsilia]

People close their shutters at night to keep mosquitos out ….not to mention intruders or the neighbors gazes lol

[@lospopularos]

The thing I was most surprised by was your preoccupation with the US elections. I found your narration very well thought out and you, as a person, very charming, intelligent, and cultured. I was very valuable for me who is now in the process of planning my move to none other than… Perpignan lol Thank you for your advice!

[@MarianneInmarsilia]

Why don’t you buy a dryer ? I’ve had one for almost 34 years in France now ! You can get a dryer that consentes inside into a reservoir and so you don’t need to vent it outdoors if you’re renting now.

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Will do one I purchase a home. Thank you.

[@justzee1574]

Thanks for sharing ❤

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

You are welcome. Thank you for watching!🙂

[@arthurrodin2228]

Personal space thing is something I’ve had to get used to living here in Spain too. As you mentioned it also applies to walking on the street and people yielding at the last second.

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Yes, I think Europe in general may have a different social distancing standard. Hopefully you've made the adjustment!

[@arthurrodin2228]

Yes, though I have to tell myself it’s not personal when it seems people walking towards me are trying to run into me!

[@janethamilton823]

Continuing to listen and sort of got my answer! Need more 😊

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

What is still unanswered? It might make a good topic for a video.

[@MrSebfrench76]

Un point de vue très interessant et pas très commun. Bravo pour votre courage et j'espère que vous vous sentirez bientot comme une citoyenne française à part entière.Avec vos "american roots" , bien sûr..

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Merci pour d'avoir regardé et d'avoir fait des commentaires. Et merci surtout pour votre encouragement. Ça va arriver. 😀

[@tararasque932]

Non, c'est un point de vue très, très 'commun.' T'es en train de te humilier là, mon p'tit con.

[@NondoPondo]

I'm empathic, so I don't like to be close to people because I feel their emotions. However I also don't wear deodorant. 😅

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

🤣That's an idea. No deodorant.😂I was thinking that maybe I'm an empath too. Thanks for watching and commenting.

[@mymiphone1841]

No deodorant😂😂😂 Chile you are kiiii

[@AmazingMiracles]

In Italy people only receive 40% of parcels. I have had loads of stolen parcels, opened mail and delayed delivery. You can always put a note on your mailbox to say not to leave any parcels in the mailbox and collect it at the post office. You can get parcels sent to a point Relais pick up. The pace of life was very difficult for me also. Anyways I am leaving Grenoble in a few days and was happy to be on my own for over 14 years from going out 5-6 times a week with fake friends. Anyone reading this please only visit Grenoble and do not live here. You will not like it after you find out what the people are like and how corrupt administration wise and how dangerous this once super cool town has become.

[@mattratzer9789]

I'm so glad I came across your channel. We have been considering retiring to France in the next few years, and I really appreciate your straightforwardness and honesty. I am going to explore your channel more. Thank you!

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

I'm glad you found my channel too. It's good to hear you are enjoying it. Thanks for watching and commenting.

[@janethamilton823]

Thank you so much for your transparency and your content! How did you feel moving single to a new and unknown place (country)? ❤

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

You are welcome. I felt excited. The excitement is what fueled me and spurred me on.🙂

[@SandyPatterson-zc2yg]

Hello Patricia sorry it took so long I had a hard time replying . I would to move to Costa Rica😅

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Costa Rica, nice!

[@olivierdelatouche9453]

Hi ! I'm at 7 min into your video, did you get the summer /winter vhanging time that happens here ? It could explain the fact that you were tired

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Yes, we've got the time change thing in the US too it happens a couple of weeks after or before in France, but it's something I adjust to after about a week. Thanks for watching and commenting.

[@jackiem1093]

I just found this video. I see it was recorded 6 mos ago. Are you still in the south of France ? I will be visiting May and July 2024. June I will be in UK. I will be researching how to live there. I'd love to meet up if you are open to that.

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Yes, I'm still in the south of France. What part of the south of France will you be in? I can't promise anything but if our paths cross that would be lovely.

[@AmazingMiracles]

I am surprised about the request from the phone company our a subscription plan. All they need is your ID card or passport regardless of nationality and maybe a French Bank RIB. Something similar happened to me over 15 years ago in Grenoble when I wanted to buy a mobile phone. The woman was Asian and requested my proof of address. I didn’t give it to her even though I had it with me. I have been living in Grenoble for 23 years and still have a strong British accent and I am also black. I never play the race card but the woman in the phone shop just was just judgmental. I had spoken to her a few times before but she grew more suspicious. Anyway, I just told her no thanks and purchase a mobile phone in another shop with just my UK passport.

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

I think the difference is that I'm not European and don't have a European passport. I think going to another shop was a good move. Thanks for watching!

[@AmazingMiracles]

@@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat I only have a my British passport and could apply for a French passport but that wouldn’t change anything because you will still be judged because of your non French accent regardless if you are black or white. This is what causes the judgment. I have. I had a similar problem when I was living in the Netherlands and a mixed race Dutch man who was working at Apple told me that l the discount that I was entitled to was only for locals. I then asked him if he wanted me to have a bad stereo type of a black person because I was ready lose my shit. He promptly said no and immediately gave me the reduction with everything required….I was half joking with him and he understood that he just went too far. We even had a 10 minute conversation before hand.

[@fpmeehan]

What about all the cigarette smoke? Everyone in Paris smoke cigarettes outside of cafes and the air pollution is horrible with cars, buses, motorcycles, and scooters that drive past all the cafes. I’m from California where smoking is prohibited in many places. I got a respiratory infection after two weeks in Paris.

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Yes, more people smoke in France than in the US. I'm in a smaller village so air quality where I am is pretty good.

[@lospopularos]

Allow me to tell you a thing about keeping personal space. Some years ago I heard an American (black) talking about how she appreciated the French almost touching her while waiting in line, “apparently not giving a hoot” about her skin color. She was elated as she took this behavior for a total absence of racism as opposed to back in the US, where people were “afraid” (her word) to get close to her. Little did she suspect that racism is a question of individual culture as opposed to such and such country, especially a country that got rich on countless colonies in Africa and across the globe.

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

It's interesting how everyone interprets things differently. This person saw closeness as respect and I used to see it as disrespect. Thanks for sharing.

[@tararasque932]

I noticed the personal space thing with French exchange students in the US before I ever moved to France. I was a touchstone volunteer at my university in the US and would take new French exchange students on their first trip to a grocery store after they hit US territory. If they needed eggs and some 400 pound woman was standing there taking up the entire space in front of the egg cooler, they didn't hesitate for a split second to swoop right in in front of her to grab the eggs they needed, without touching her but getting very, very close. I thought it was HILARIOUS. And of course they never noticed that what they were doing might be considered rude. They didn't intend it to be rude. They didn't even think about it. Of course I was standing there hoping I remembered my CPR training in case the woman actually keeled over instead of just starting to hyperventilate lol.

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

@@tararasque932 thanks for sharing this. I experience this in the grocery store here. I stand back and wait for them to get their eggs (or whatever) but I've learned to but in and get what I need because it could take a long time for me to get what I need because they aren't aware that I'm waiting for them to finish so I can get what I need.🙂 Hadn't associated this with personal space but yep, it's linked.

[@lospopularos]

@@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat I was born in France but having lived in the US for most of my life I must say that I miss the American courtesy, that polite, respectful distancing I've grown used to. Even if, as some claim, fake.

[@Mateo-et3wl]

The hardest part about living in France is simply French people. If you manage to make friends everything else will be easier

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Definitely takes time to make friends. But one you've made them they are solid gold!

[@tenaguin1054]

Sounds like you may be missing some of the advantages available in the US. But, when in France, do as the French do, don't attempt to change it, the residents there have every right to form their culture as they like. People move there for the differences in culture and environments.

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Yes, and if everything was the same as in the US what fun would that be. 😅

[@christianc9894]

Patricia, vous vous plaisez en France, vous y travaillez, vous parlez français, avez-vous envisagé de demander la nationalité ? Vous l'obtiendriez sans problème et vous seriez débarrassée du fisc des USA.

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Salut, @christianc9894. Merci de m''avoir encouragé. Oui, j'aimerais bien de demander la nationalité française et j'ai l'intention de le faire, mais malheureusement avec USA à moins que je renonce la nationalité américaine, je devrai toujours déclarer mes impôts avec le IRS.😏

[@christianc9894]

Voila pourquoi Tina TURNER a pris la nationalité Suisse. @@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat

[@SallyeAJones-vs9uc]

CHALLENGES Speaking french

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

Yes. The upside of this is when you have a breakthrough in speaking/understanding the language it can feel so good, even if it's a small one. Good luck.

[@alendahicks1232]

The Wife of Bath, in Chaucer had a gap in her teeth-and she loved to travel. Lolol

[@sprightlyaurora3501]

Do you ever encounter any passive aggression or racism where you live now?

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

I don't. I think the reason is that I'm not anticipating it or labeling rude or cool behavior as racist. In the beginning I had to catch myself on this because of how I experienced the US (so I judged things as racist off the bat) and knew I didn't want to bring my judgments into my new life here. That said racism does exist here as everywhere.

[@seasorb]

Computer says "No" mentality of French functionaries. Ie the bureacracy.

[@parler8698]

Why don't people learn language and culture first?

[@PatriciaBrooksCarefreeExpat]

I think you can study a culture before moving, but you can't know all that you will experience before actually living in it. As for the language, I believe many people do attempt to learn the language, but language learning can be difficult. Thanks for your comment.

[@joannehetherington445]

My God get a grip.. you live in a city.

[@tararasque932]

She lives in a village about a 45 minute bus ride from anything that could loosely be defined as a 'city.' Einstein. Sit down.

[@localreviewer5939]

Well you should see the result of the candidate you voted for in 2020. He’s done runined many states and many the black communities!

[@goingboldaciousforchrist]

“He’s done ruined…many the black communities”? What type of language is that? Who speaks that way? Moreover, our votes were *against* the other guy who represents an absolute existential threat to our communities and its people. Why would we vote *for* that? (Look up any words you don’t understand.)