The Aftermath of a Traumatic Fatal | Retired Police Interceptor

[@BenPearson1965]

Another tough one this week; I have got some very exciting content in the pipeline, so be sure to subscribe if you haven't so you don't miss anything! There is also exclusive content on my Patreon, it’s a great place to send me any questions and any help goes a long way to producing these videos: www.patreon.com/benpearson My book "Handcuffed Emotions: A Police Interceptor's Drive Into Darkness" available now: amzn.to/3vGZvis

[@spierchips]

If I didn't know, I'd say you feel like you needed to bring these people back away from there trauma an impossible burden to carry , makes you think about you own personal mortality I would guess take care Ben

[@FAZE9NINE]

You know what bud , i feel you , i've seen some bad shit , i were sent death threats , and the video i was sent was horrific , the Police officer who deals with frtc , who was sent out to my home , he couldn't watch it all the way through , i still have flashbacks and i cant sleep . im here if you ever want to chat x wish i could hug you right now dude. Im also now on anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds just to feel somewhat normal

[@lucythemoggy1970]

ben even tho it was 15 yrs ago, u could see in ur face it still affects you.

[@cooltools007]

Did you receive my email? Regarding the results of crime and drugs, what you where attempting to prevent, I left a number to call if you want Ben, thanks

[@danwilliams4860]

💔

[@davidmilner5966]

I joined police at same time as Ben. I’m in a position to say he’s one of my close friends and spent many hours socialising with him. I watch these videos and hearing these accounts for the first time. Hard to imagine all the many years I’ve known him that he’s never spoken about these things especially on nights out. Keep talking about it if it helps release those demons pal.

[@BenPearson1965]

Thanks pal and love you loads. Looking forward to seeing you soon xx

[@andyp9131]

I am 61 in July. I remember Ben when I wanted to go in the same trade as my uncle a fireman the thing I failed on was people like u had to deal with people passing away burnt in a house I could not make the grade on that principle but it is such a shame we have to do the bad jobs which the job involves with it. You did your job my friend and you're doing a great job now.

[@mystical4586]

​@Ben Pearson Thank you for sharing your experiences in the Police force. I think you and those who have and still work in the Emergency Services do an excellent job, the things you see and the criminals and victims you deal with on a daily basis must be emotionally difficult on anyone. I myself went through several traumatic events over 10 years ago, and would strongly encourage talking to a trusted person. Be safe and take care xx

[@Zerofightervi]

Now you understand why traffic cops get so angry when they see a driver speeding or behaving like a lunatic. They're the ones who have to peel you or someone you've hit off the floor. I couldn't do his job, I know I couldn't.

[@dj_efk]

Christ - and me x100

[@ZJS0113]

Speeding doesnt kill. It's coming to a stop suddenly that's the problem...

[@wrapper432]

@@ZJS0113 shut up tosser

[@liams1991]

@@ZJS0113 tell that to the person getting launched over the bonnet.

[@ZJS0113]

@@liams1991 I'd tell them "if you don't stay alert, you could end up getting hurt" lol

[@naturalrestingface4909]

I remember seeing a lady throw herself under the Piccadilly line at Turnham Green station. I told my girlfriend but she took it like it was a story. When you see it, it never leaves you and 24 years later I still need speech radio on at night to keep my mind occupied. I drink also. It's the sound of her high heel shoes as she made the leap that stays with me more than the aftermath. She was in bits and to some extent, so am I. All the best to you Ben

[@trevordistance4170]

15 years ago, I lived on Southfield Rd so Turnham Green was my local station. Your articulate comment moved me and, for a variety of reasons, I know what you mean. I fall asleep listening to podcasts and drink more than I'd like. I left a comment on your discussion page about making music. Wishing you all the best.

[@cat-lo3hx]

😰😨😱

[@johnennis4586]

Was she in bits before or after the train hit

[@flalingbashers2957]

@@johnennis4586 Dik ed

[@neilhembrowicp6465]

Wow buddy! I hope one day ur images will dissipate. Much love home 🇺🇲👊🇬🇧

[@theotherone163]

Ben you are an absolute inspiration talking about these stories and expressing how you felt. Strongest guy I know.

[@boahnation9932]

Absolutely.

[@PHO3N1X_28]

Definitely

[@corvettecousin]

Totally agree

[@wastedphoenixttv230]

Couldn’t have said it better

[@Solitude11-11]

Coppers operate in a never ending war zone. Whilst the rest of the world goes about its business around them. They need much more support, it’s heart rending. I was so glad to hear you say at the end it helped you doing these videos ❤️

[@neilhembrowicp6465]

👏👏🙏

[@lewisthacker2811]

Ben is what I would to refer to as a real man, takes some serious gonads to sit in front of thousands of people and talk about this stuff. Big props to you Ben👊🏽

[@Oasis194]

💯

[@fantomphalcon9153]

Big kahuna.

[@glennk2973]

100% agree, I find it impossible to talk about the horrors I've witnessed on the railway without crying, it's not a weakness...it simply proves we are human. I spent the 1st 40yrs of my life on the wrong side of the law...silly petty crime but I hold ultimate respect for the police...doing a fantastic job in impossible situations.

[@leejones7965]

I'm ex army,2 tours of Afghanistan.ive never experienced anything like that.you deserve a medal mate.massive respect.

[@glennk2973]

Well said Lee...I commented earlier that my brother said exactly the same. He saw service in Bosnia and 1st Iraq war, witnessed horrors of losing close friends and although traumatic the brain can process bare facts...that bullet caused that hole, that explosion removed that limb....but picking up pieces unsure as to whether it's part of somebody's loved one or part of a dead badger leaves the brain spinning. It's a shame that those who deserve respect rarely get it...whether it's the BTP, regular emergency services or the armed forces....all taken for granted. It's wrong.

[@chris6559]

I was a nurse for 30 years and I've seen some stuff, this is on another level though, respect, healing and empathy from another public servant, you have more than done your bit.

[@elastronaute1198]

a male nurse?

[@Steve-xs5hf]

@@elastronaute1198 Why would it matter if a nurse is male or female? Would you prefer they said non binary, is pronouns too much for you? It is irrelevant of gender and irrespective that someone would choose a career in nursing, male or female, it's a gender neutral job title. I know both amazing male nurses and female nurses, it isn't gender specific anymore. Get with the times pal!!!

[@elastronaute1198]

@@Steve-xs5hf usually men don't choose to go into care fields such as nursing they tend to go into STEM fields when given the choice. We've seen that in Scandinavia where they've gone the farthest in trying to promote equality of opportunity and the disparity between male and females job choices has actually grown. So don't give me that new age virtue signalling crap.

[@chris6559]

@@elastronaute1198 Yeah, psychiatric, more males in that field, still a fair few in general nursing nowadays as well

[@26TM079]

@@elastronaute1198 yes a male nurse, like there are female doctors. What is your issue ?

[@pault2575]

Hey Ben, went to this same incident.... we turned out to this from Keighley fire station.... it was a horrible job. Never forget it :(

[@BenPearson1965]

Xxxxxx

[@PibrochPonder]

As a member of the public I have enormous respect for people who do the jobs we ask you to do.

[@EinkOLED]

The emergency services aren't paid enough to deal with incidents like this.

[@neilhembrowicp6465]

BOLLOX to useless fuckin footballers! It's THESE GUYS SHOULD GET ALL THAT CASH FFS!!!! ☹

[@No-is2cj]

@@neilhembrowicp6465 Footballers : kick a ball around a field and gets payed millions Emergency Service Workers : save peoples lives and get injured physically and mentally and get payed mediocrely

[@neilhembrowicp6465]

@@No-is2cj My point exactly bro. Itsa buncha BULLSHITE!!! 😠😠😠🦬💩

[@wobblybobengland]

@@neilhembrowicp6465 Friend of mine used to do car recovery, recovered a mini where a bloke had shot himself in the head with a shotgun, now you lean in, grab hold of the steering wheel in a car that is not fully cleaned up of brain gore... another mate of mine was an RAF mechanic and as a young trainee had to pick up bits of bodies after the Kegworth air disaster, there are lots of people who have to clean up afterwards, traumatic stuff, not wanting to take away anything from Ben's experience mind you, sounds terrible.

[@neilhembrowicp6465]

@@wobblybobengland Sure there is some horrendous shit goes on Bob.. I bless all those people who have to clean up the aftermath 😔❤ Have a good day pal 👍

[@kenzo881]

Bless you man. I’m a Belgian police officer and it’s heartwarming to see we all go through the same situations and feelings. It’s a hard job and most people forget that. Hope you’re doing well man. Greetings from Belgium.

[@sm3296]

I found out my son took his life by a phone call when I was in Scotland, I’d just settled five days before in a new country, little village, didn’t know anyone. The trauma of the details of his death and the time leading up to it, my solo trip back to Vancouver un absolute shock replayed in my head driving me mad. I couldn’t function, sleep, think or feel. This lasted a year before I was diagnosed with PTSD. Once diagnosed I had two REMD treatments which helped me process the events and move them into the past rather than replay on a daily basis as if it happened every day. I very much recommend this therapy to anyone suffering trauma that doesn’t go away. I appreciate you expressing these thoughts Ben, male mental health is little talked about and there is too much suicides that could have been prevented if only men talked.

[@lurkster1974]

I can relate to the need to talk about trauma big time. I saw my dad die when I was 8 and when I was 21, I found my brother and unsuccessfully tried to resuscitate him. I was scared that I would revive him due to the time lapse/lack of oxygen to his brain (I had to break in through an upstairs window to reach him). It took me 27 years (last year in therapy) to really let rip about my bro. Talking - and feeling - is a must. Salute to you Ben.

[@supernick2072]

🥺

[@colinward1007]

Sorry to hear your loss and thank you for sharing such a personal experience

[@lurkster1974]

@@colinward1007 cheers Colin, best wishes.

[@Ashf79]

So sorry for your loss mate 🙏

[@lurkster1974]

@@Ashf79 Thanks buddy, I didn't really mean it to be a therapy session but the appreciation is reciprocated.

[@stefeniedavidmusic]

now can you imagine what it's like to be in a war. My father drove an ambulance on the front lines in world war II in Italy. He was 20 years old. Can you imagine what he went through on a daily basis? Thank you for this and the horrible job that you had to do. I hope you get through it and come out on the other side healthy.

[@DianeSmith67]

I have to say i think you are AMAZING ! speaking as a trauma sufferer i know your feeling to well, when i was 14 and lived in the middle of nowhere literally our closest neighbor was miles away, someone broke into our house and stabbed me, im now 55 and still cant open the door or go outside after dark, nightmares that wont end, please stay strong Ben we all love you

[@darcsentor]

Sorry you had to go through that. have you heard of EMDR therapy, it can do wonders for traumatic memory’s and help remove the nightmares.

[@DianeSmith67]

@@darcsentor thank you, not i havent heard of emdr but i will check it out thank you so much !

[@robpinter5431]

It is not a natural thing to see dead bodies or people dying in front of you.....it is common for first responders be it highway patrol police or in Australia the rural fire service to be first on scene, and after a period of time being exposed to the drama and death, people just want to avoid it. Courage is like a bank account, at every fatal, a little bit of cash is withdrawn, some have more cash than others, eventually the account is empty and it is time to move on from the job. Thank you Ben for openly discussing the issues that are faced as a first responder, to bring home that not everyday on the job is a good one.

[@jannybroekman-vanheiningen85]

Dear Ben, this is complete horror, this is on your retina, you've seen too much, and carry so mutch with you, and you can never walk away from it, it always catches up with you, so telling about it, is indeed the best you could do, and it's so brave and human. I admire you for that, it's so strong . Thanks also too Josh.

[@volvos60bloke]

Such a lovely comment

[@elastronaute1198]

It's not on his retina I know what you mean but it's actually in his hippocampus in the temporal lobe

[@aztecghost]

"that's when I realised I don't want to deal with any more trauma" fair play to you mate, that point for me is stubbing my toe or something 😅 absolute legend

[@jumblesaleboo]

Sudden deaths, especially RTC's and suicides always got me....Not just the graphic nature of the outcome, but learning who they were, and giving the agony message, and seeing the impact that it had on those who were close to the deceased.

[@DaimonWalker]

Your videos make me have so much more respect for police officers and any human in a job that sees this horror. Thank you for your service. Sincerely.

[@matthewpercival4353]

It's so true, to put your hand up and say "Hay I need some help" is the most empowering thing you can do if your struggling with work or home life. Don't let others play down what you are feeling you are you and you know what you can and can't deal with. Great series Ben.

[@novaadventures5758]

Biggest thing I did was ring the Samaritans on my kitchen floor in bits hardly being able to speak, saying I wanted to end it all to stop the pain and ghosts of the past. Glad to say I’m still here now been on meds but have come off them with docs advice. You are doing a stunning job by talking about the things in your rucksack etc. Bug respect and credit to you Ben 👏🙏

[@keithfraser9705]

Stay safe Nick 🙏

[@jossbelle5137]

Brave guy. How are you doing now?

[@glennk2973]

Well said, I hope you're still moving forward. It's said that most people contemplating suicide do so because they want to end the pain...it doesn't end the pain...it simply passes it to someone else. The samaritans are a fantastic organisation, nothing like most people imagine them to be either... Well done pal for reaching out. Good luck.

[@gcm747]

As a soldier, I have so much respect for emergency services. It’s a job I could never do. I can manage/justify death in war zones but seeing trauma like you have described would be soul destroying. You’re so right. We are human and we have emotions and we just aren’t designed to see certain things without repercussions. Thanks for sharing.

[@Giantist]

Well said

[@vxrbandit2527]

@@Giantist 🙏🙏

[@andysaunders3708]

Glad that you're able to talk about this major element of your life. You're a strong guy.

[@nickm8874]

Ben the things you’ve shouldered, and continue to shoulder, has honestly recalibrated my appreciation for the police. There’s a couple of reasons why, but I’d lost that, along the way in life, and I’m grateful for what you’ve done, and for giving me that back. Thank you

[@kyrateri1522]

On another video you told me to follow my dreams and that’s exactly what I did. My application for a pcso was accepted, they’re wanting me to go in for assessments and a in-force interview! Seeing your videos inspired me even more! Everything you’re doing is helping other people, you’re an inspiration X

[@vickitaylor2065]

Keep talking Ben! You’re not only helping yourself, but other people too. Myself included ❤️☺️

[@scott-si1oe]

One thing most people can take away is your a decent human being. As much as I love hearing your stories and find them interesting I'm happy to hear it helps you telling them. Keep them coming 👍

[@Fordy16]

Nothing but complete and utter respect to you Ben. I am 21 and joining the police. Your videos give a great and detailed insite. Thank you

[@virgilrytaar9083]

A ride in a Northumbria county car at 9 years old in 1973 started my obsession with wanting to be a traffic officer. It was my dads best friend Ken, a larger than life character. He gave me an early morning lift to my grans in a Mk1 3.0 Granada with a quick blast of blues and two's, the sound of that V6 and the sheer excitement still gives me the same feeling now aged 56. Ben, having watched your films, all I can say is thank god I didn't follow my childhood dream. I'd be a wreck by now. I chose the bass guitar instead, what an easy life! I've always appreciated what lads like you do but these films are beyond anything I've watched regarding real policing. Bless you, a total inspiration

[@lewisupstone763]

It’s a shame to think people are quick to judge an officer who may be a little snappy and what not, and not even think maybe there’s a deeper reason which is the real reason as to why they’re acting the way they are! Both my dad and granddad were serving police officers and both had/have their demons! Honestly chap you’re standing at the forefront of not only highlighting the true affect years of service has on an officer but also proving talking is sometimes the best medication. Real inspiration!

[@kathrinecoulton5715]

Omg I feel for u guys seeing stuff like this 😭 police officers need extra support

[@alfiejean2007]

I believe they get free of charge counselling and some sort of wellbeing checks on a regular basis

[@phantombigballs8165]

@@alfiejean2007 as a serving traffic cop right now.. you get bugger all other than. See you tomorrow for the next shift. The only way you get help is if you seek it yourself which a lit won't do until too late.

[@5778-z9j]

All of the public services do.

[@casualdabbler8846]

Nothing short of a legend. Thank you for everything you have done throughout your career to keep us safe. Much love

[@TheLeedsAppreciationSociety]

When you say you're not going to walk away from it, that says it all. It shows you're human. Things like that take their toll, and that the price we pay for caring, and the price it sounds like you've paid. Credit to you for acknowledging that you'd still help even though you know how it would affect you. Good on you.

[@johnkidd797]

This guy is an absolute star, I feel his pain as I'm going through C.B.T. for severe P.T.S.D. and it's not easy. I can't talk about what happened to me yet but Ben has inspired me that one day i will and that will be a massive step. Thank you pal you are an inspiration.

[@richardpage5281]

I'm so happy that this channel is taking off! I love to see a proper decent channel with worthwhile content. Well done lads and lasses,you're doing a cracking job

[@alyssa-jadelynnebutlin7778]

Ben, you are undoubtedly a good person without a doubt, you served the people of Bradford and surrounds for 19 years as both a local Bobby and a traffic Police officer... thank you for your service, now please enjoy your retirement with your family and friends , you deserve that privilege.

[@graememorrison5456]

I’m a undertaker and can totally relate to this Rtc railway fatalities suicide, thank you for sharing your experiences 🙏

[@loopylou6841]

Yeah 👍 they're never nice 😰

[@rosec7008]

Oh dude! 🥺 Sending you a massive hug xx

[@michellegreenwood7629]

Omg ,how the hell have you coped seeing what you've seen . We dont realise the scenes you've seen . Your an inspiration . I lost a very close family member young lad on addingham by pass last year . Seeing the damage of his vehicle was enough but to see the what you've seen i can't imagine . Your one brave man x

[@JoshLathamTutorials]

I just want to say thank you for sharing your experiences. It's very therapeutic not just for you, but for us. However, you touched on a point about how it's not possible for people to just "deal with it" and we all have a breaking point. It's an interesting topic because there are people who can seemingly be exposed to trauma without apparent effects. Maybe they accepted the sociopathic coping mechanisms that tend to arise from such traumatic careers or some people are completely able to compartmentalise their lives. For instance, some soldiers just don't have PTSD. It could be the dehumanisation training, or just something about the person. I feel this is something that needs research and attention. People like you shouldn't have to carry such weight. There has to be something we can do as humans.

[@TidyTransport]

I've been in not too dissimilar situations as a medic (Ambulance technician) so dealt with a number of various fatal RTC's. The traffic officers I've come into contact with here in Sussex, say it's one of the hardest 'jobs' to deal with, but that open and frank discussions are one way to help with the dark sides. I managed 3 years in total. I won't go into too much detail, but an RTC involving a minor (fatal) really did give me the shivers. The hardest thing was, the boy looked very similar to my godson. That brought my time to an end, and credit to the NHS, I've been through psychotherapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, But I felt my eyes saw something I could never unsee. I hope you get some sort of reassurance and in some part, satisfaction from airing your issues, as they are very much uncommonly spoken about Ben. Stay safe and be well!

[@catshez]

Dear Ben, I have only just discovered your videos, and confess that I have never seen the series you were in about Traffic Police.. But today I have watched four of your videos, and am touched, cried, saddened and feel your pain. I can't watch horror movies, or crime films with graphic images, even though they are not real, my brain doesn't seem to understand that, and horrific images stay with me forever. To hear what you have experienced, to know a tiny percentage of the real horror you have seen, fills me with an empathetic compassion for you, and the people involved in your real-life stories. You are brave to talk about them.. and it makes sense that it hurts you.. That every traumatic event you have seen has hurt you.. because you are human, and you are an empath too. You are allowing us (the viewers) to help you carry the backpack, perhaps? I don't think you could ever unpack your backpack, or any other police officer for that matter... Just want to say I appreciate and respect our police here in the UK.. perhaps even more so now from watching your films. Thank you, Ben, for opening up to the world. 🌈❤️

[@Jaret.F30]

Thank you for talking about these things. i’m 17 and wanting to come into the police force but listening to your stories have really gave me an eye opener of what i could expect on the job.

[@Diglett_Dude]

The instant you said we went searching with torches it reminded me of a head on with multiple fatalities we attended that involved a missing infant who had been unrestrained on the lap of a mother who was passenger. Mother was the only survivor. I understand what you are trying to convey.

[@charliemansonUK]

I'm glad this outlet is helping Ben. Since watching your videos it's widened? my view on my own multi trauma PTSD and I believe a good part of the added strength or confidence to seek someone out and deal with one of my greatest situations, the brutal death of a pregnant girl. I've not felt such a release for years. I just want to say thanks buddy, keep healing yourself because it's helping others, I can't be the only one your helping....the Military community, those like myself who where exposed over many years to repeated exposure could learn a lot from your approach. Peace Charlie 🇬🇧

[@YeshItsCourtney]

Ben, I havent ever experianced what you saw. But you being so open and candid, about things. Its so difficult, when I realized talking about my trauma released the demons and I couldnt take it anymore. And I have talked it to death but thats part of healing, thats what healing is. You are so powerful, and so strong and you have been so inspiring. Watching these videos, it makes me want to be a cop even more. Thank you, for these videos. They make me feel not so crazy, as my rucksack is full to the seams and overflowing and I am working on healing as well. Please dont stop talking to the camera. Release those demons and keep showing people like me that healing is possible!

[@maryjanerod7226]

Ben you are a survivor🌹i personally have dealt with PTSD . Thanks for your sharing this tough time of your life. Strength and courage is yours. Blessings to you 💖🌹🇱🇷

[@heidilovelock5295]

Ben, your an absolute legend for speaking out , keep talking , keep lightening the load of your shoulders, I completely get the cup is full and it needs to be emptied ... keep doing what your doing . So much respect for you.

[@PibrochPonder]

Watching your videos are really making me read my advance driving books again. The big thing of only go as fast as you can see to stop in really hits home.

[@mikeh2006]

Yes. Be able to stop in the distance you can see to be clear. Halve that speed on single track roads.

[@ramnil182]

Ben, can I just say thank you to you for discussing this the way you do. You put and say things in such a way that help other emergency service workers deal with trauma that they experience. The way you explain things helps others create and get more tools to help them. You are making an impact world wide. Love and thanks from a firefighter in Australia.

[@theprior46]

This incredible guy opening up is a very humbling thing. What a good compassionate person he comes acress as. He is so right about bottling it up. People who do bottle up and try to beat it internally are giving themselves such internal stress that a lot of experts say it can trigger cancers. I can believe that.

[@kimcutts6153]

I'm so glad you talking helps Ben. No one should have to go through that. Big respect. Xxx

[@dannyiontton3669]

It's a year since this video went out but all I think is my baby brother is doing this job now and listening to you is killing me, I want to protect him but I know I can't and it breaks me up inside, but I have a new respect for him for wanting to do that job.

[@jess.bus.photosx6388]

Adding another comment but when I watch episodes of the programmes you were on, on tv. You would never imagine how things went for you, was my favourite in police interceptors for being known as benny boy but now with the channel it’s changed how I watch it all

[@liamwhite8822]

This guy needs his own Tv Program!, could happily sit and listen to his story’s 24/7!, keep them coming 😊👍

[@01cthompson]

You are doing the world a great service with these talks.

[@paulharmson297]

well done i admire your guts and bravery for speaking openly about these horrendous incidents

[@AngeliFernandez]

Thank you for being so candid and transparent. So many people with PTSD never, ever speak of it. I must offer you great respect and gratitude.

[@trevorshea2048]

You can really feel the pain and emotion when watching,I hope talking is really helping you get better and that it can help others too

[@samconboy459]

an unlit, broken-down, van is what took my father's life when i was 6 months old when he hit the back of it. Its horrendous that these sorts of things happen and my heart goes out to the police officers who have to deal with this on a daily basis

[@missingintelligence6170]

This is hard to listen too. Honestly can’t imagine seeing this… thanks for your time protecting us from these horrific scenarios..

[@jlfromhh620]

I wish I didn’t find this channel so early I’ve already binged watched it all so interesting and real

[@rachelleah8418]

I've been driving a long time and I'm pretty confident but I've never liked motorways due to the speed.It just scares me that if anything was to happen no one really stands a chance. Driving past wreckage from an accident is chilling enough so to witness these horrifying scenes takes a special kind of person I guess. Massive respect and thanks to Ben and all involved in these sad and traumatic events 😢😞

[@alexmightybeans]

Absolutely love these videos. Shows the unseen side of policing, so inspiring well done Ben and all your colleagues. Much respect ✊

[@bantamNeil12]

Total 💯 % respect to u Ben m8...being able to recount and talk openly about these matters must be so hard in itself...Great to hear you say talking about it and doing these videos help...What you've seen and what you've dealt with over the years most of us will never see in 10 lifetimes so respect to u for doing your professional duties to the highest standards for so long...Much luv too u m8...👏🏻👏🏻❤❤😍😍

[@allantaylor3064]

This is why police officers deserve respect they are doing a job with so many horrendous incidents on a day to day basis that some of us may never see in our lives. Ben keep up the fantastic work you are doing its going to help more people than you think 👍

[@status62]

Ben have a fair idea what you guys and the emergency services have to deal with but until you hear what actually happens the general public just don't know, so glad what you are doing now is helping you heal, much love to you and the family ❤❤xx

[@AWHITE85]

Total respect to you Ben, I've seen someone jump in front of a train, it still haunts me today although it was 20 yrs ago, I've been watching your vids, and I've seen you in action on telly, but I have 💯 respect for you, all the best 👍 👍

[@waynepeel4516]

Massive respect for you mate, I did 5 years in the job. Have my own demon's did attachment to traffic but couldn't do the job you did day in day out. Much love

[@mrade5321]

Massive respect Mate. I hope this does help you in a big way and I also hope that it helps people realise that behind the uniform, it's just normal people who have experienced horrors that the vast majority of us will never experience in our life time. Never judge a book by its cover, as they say.

[@northernninjarunner5506]

Ben we are very grateful for men and women who have stepped up to the thin blue line and deal with these things on a daily basis. If we can support you in any way for what you have done to us, we will.

[@jonathanmackie4884]

Hi Ben. Thank you for your service and for the content. Personally, I couldn't do it. I wanted to be a firefighter. Applied, passed basic physical and such. Was due to do induction when I sustained an injury in a car accident, ironically. While waiting to restart after recovery I met a serving firefighter and talked to him about the service. He warned me about the hardest part of the job. Not entering burning buildings, etc. But RTAs. He told me of the decapitations, unrestrained children and devastated lives he had personally had to deal with. Decided I could not do it. Massive debt of gratitude to you and your colleagues in 1st response who do this work. Whatever helps you heal.

[@jonnyquarmby4214]

Massive respect to you Ben. You are a massive inspiration for been able to talk about your experiences...fair play

[@Thestoner5]

My guy, thank you for doing these videos, I can't even begin to imagine how accidents like this have effected you in the long run, big up for speaking up x

[@mattrabarts2639]

Always glad to see a new video. Even if it’s on a sad topic. Keep going, great your talking about your experiences.

[@rallying1]

Absolutely spot on Ben, my first fatal was a motorcyclist and whilst I saw more fatals and 10/88's that first one sits with me to this day, I can still remember his name, what he was riding, where he lived and his wifes name. Took me years before I spoke to an oppo actually who said the same, I didn't feel so burdened with it after that.

[@roofingcontractors3349]

They should play these at speed awareness courses, these are deep and hit home no 2 ways about it , big respect to you and your years of service, I hope its gets easier over time for you, your a gd man 👍

[@rockatansky1305]

This is one hell of a very profound message you have delivered, I sincerely hope that people viewing it take it all onboard and stop and think do I really need to be doing such a ridiculously and reckless speed. People need to realise and forget that old cliche of " It won't happen to me" unfortunately it does and least when you expect it. Thank you for sharing your very traumatic experience !

[@janf817]

If you are brave and open enough to talk about these issues, I am more than grateful and more than willing to listen and learn. Thank you.

[@paulkelly1715]

You are a good person , and we are all supporting you

[@HollyBerryDOOG]

Ben you are a hero and so are all the emergency services. Can’t imagine what it would be like to deal with this sort of trauma. You should feel VERY good about the great contribution you have made.

[@davesmith9844]

The job takes it's toll. Thankfully mental health and awareness is getting better but still a way to go. Thank you for everything you have done in your career, no doubt you've help many people. The job that always stays with me was an 8yo girl hit by a HGV, even 20+ years on.

[@utilitarian]

The problem with being suicidal is being well aware that you don't want to effect other people or ruin their lives but also knowing you can't cope and it's a constant internal struggle. Thanks Ben and all police, medics and fire personnel for your experiences... I hope you're in a happier place now you have retired Ben 🙂

[@aaronalienseeker801]

Hooked through every episode, great story telling Ben

[@Jkeb19]

Lots of respect for you and others who have to deal with incidents such as these. My Grandad was a firefighter and had many horror stories to tell about the things that he had seen while on duty, particularly the aftermaths of fatal car crashes. He never spoke about how it affected it him, but I'm sure it all affected him deeply.

[@bramcoteelectrical1088]

unfortunate energy being negative from the trauma of the person passing away you receive that negative energy into your exposed soul taking into your inner self. difficult to deal with but grounding will help calm the mind research it Ben. difficult topics to talk about but I am sure we all appriacte in someway the hardship of having to deal with these past events and the pain it cased. keep up the positive narrative !! talking most definitely helps to heal our inner self! thankyou for your service and professionism.

[@superseacrow9463]

Ive been on the front line for the last 25 years. Its only in the last couple of months that I realized I had a problem. Every suicide,fatal, murder coming back in my nightmares or intruding into my thoughts. I dont want to blow smoke up your arse Ben, but I decided the only way to man up was to tell someone. Im on the sick now but Im starting to get treatment. Thanks Ben. Theres the old adage about helping just one person. You showed me a way through it. One day ill come to terms with it. Maybe this series could be turned into an NCALT package

[@liamlord9412]

What a complete gem this man is, don’t know the guy but I like him so much well done Ben nothing but compete respect from me

[@fantomphalcon9153]

It’s empathy Ben, you care, and it’s as simple as that. People say you become desensitised, and in the moment you do, it’s your job and you have to do things you don’t want to do, but you would never ask a colleague to step in and do it because again, you’re thinking it’s your task and why put them through it when their next job could be an RTC with a child involved. I hate to keep bring my Dad up, but he’s dead now and there’s no family left who I can talk about him with. After I passed out from Basic he felt he could share things, and he did share a lot of things he was carrying around with him, but in the ‘80’s there were no counsellors, just you and your bag, bin or Bergen. His first fatal were an elderly couple, motorbike and sidecar vs bus in a contra flow during construction of the Mersey tunnels. 1 deceased on scene, the elderly woman, and she was “a bit light” said a senior constable gesturing to her still sat in this sidecar, then gesturing for my dad to go walkabout to find the silver, open-faced helmet - the husband had the presence of mind to shout as my dad went wandering off in search. Nearly 100 yards away he finds it, contents unrecognisable as human. The only thing that stuck with him for 20 years, was the weight of it, like a bowling ball, it rolled like one as well. He carried it back, his arms aching. His next was a contra flow again on the M53 - he came to dread them for the rest of his career - he drank to offload, but it was retiring that finished him properly mentally, because all his pals still had each other and the job - my dad had mates visiting him at home. The absolute finisher was two colleagues in the central reservation examining the scene of an earlier RTC (RTA’s back then) when another pensioner has.a heat attack at the wheel and wiped them both out - he cried for 3 straight days, two bobbies, close friends, gone whilst on duty on the M53, he didn’t have his mates around him all consoling each other, he was never quite the same after that, and on the anniversary he’d just sit in his chair the entire day staring, thinking, staring..... the only other time he cried was when I left home by train to go for Basic Training in Reading - and he whispers as he’s hugging the life out of me (Don’t let me down son).... and I didn’t. His final words were about a year later, home on leave, we we’re having a pint together and he said “You’re big enough to fill my shoes now son” - the next morning he was gone, by his own hand, and there was the gift of my bin, and it’s first item. I lasted until I was 40 before the lid wouldn’t go back on, I’m 51 now and when your brain farts like that, it never quite goes back together the same. You’re helping me Ben because I’ve still got some weight to offload. You’re a true inspiration and I respect and admire what you’re doing, because it can’t be easy mate, but it will help you. You and many others. You keep it coming, without feeling obligated lol. Take care of yourself. Stay frosty, and thank you!

[@jackiebrown7388]

I've never thought about the trauma the police officers and emergency services go through before. Im glad you can talk about it and get it out. Talking really does work. So keep talking, you're giving us an idea of what you all go through and I personally respect you all even more for doing these things that I would never ever be able to do myself. Thanks.

[@adriancollier7]

I thought it was time to re visit one of your videos and it has become very clear to me that there are literally hundreds of officers like you and I that deal with very similar incidents throughout our careers. Historically We don’t tend to talk about it and some people say, you signed up to it! But you’re so right it is traumatic and it does affect you. I’m glad you’re redressing the balance as to what else officers deal with during a time when it appears the media hate police and can’t wait to criticise. Ultimately we do our best but it will come at a cost to our mental health in more ways than one. All the best to you and yours.

[@jess.bus.photosx6388]

Absalutely appreciate the amount of things police officers see and go through , I wanted to be a paramedic growing up but my own mental illness has made me realise I couldn’t do it, but I’m wanting to do bus driving and people running into bus or something really worries me but it’s not going to stop me doing it, definitely watching these videos religiously!

[@mommabear3988]

Massive respect to you Ben for speaking out, hopefully your channel opens people’s eyes and shows that being a officer isn’t easy (not that I’ve ever been a copper) the police don’t get paid enough and there needs to be more support put in place for officers/ex officers.

[@darrenstone3693]

Massive respect to you Ben for being so open to us on camera👍

[@mattybthecatalist8991]

You are an absolute mega human Ben an inspiration to humanity ❤

[@jimbass1664]

Thanks for doing the job. Hope you keep healing up. And thanks for talking about it.

[@supernick2072]

It's hard because you have heart. Thank you.

[@connormeechan5784]

Hat’s of to you Ben these stories are what stops me from joining man and not just your stories but family members stories as well and i get what you mean about the trauma from suicide know a ex BR head Engineer and he had to deal with the same things, was surprised when he opened up about it on a shift and he said it helped.. so much respect for you not bottling it up anymore bro❤️