The Aftermath of a Traumatic Fatal | Retired Police Interceptor

My Brand New Book 'Hotel Tango 23: Responding To The Unknown' is available now: amzn.to/3zUwbqg In this video, I talk about some of the more traumatic jobs that I went to as a Traffic Officer. I get quite in-depth as to what I saw, discuss how that takes its toll on you as a person and how I coped with it further down the line.
Due to the high demand for these videos, I have set up a Patreon page. Your support goes towards the production of more content. My Patrons will have access to exclusive content!
Support me: / benpearson
My book "Handcuffed Emotions: A Police Interceptor's Drive Into Darkness" available now: amzn.to/3vGZvis
Hi, this is Ben from Police Interceptors. Welcome to my new KZbin channel where I will be sharing stories from my time in the police and from recording with Channel 5's Police Interceptors.
If you have any questions please feel free to ask in the comments, I will answer them in future videos. We have a lot more content to come.
Twitter: / bs_pearson
These videos were created and produced by Josh Gudgeon & his team at Get Your Media.
For more information visit his KZbin channel: / joshgudgeon
Or www.getyourmedia.co.uk

[@BenPearson1965]

Another tough one this week; I have got some very exciting content in the pipeline, so be sure to subscribe if you haven't so you don't miss anything! There is also exclusive content on my Patreon, it’s a great place to send me any questions and any help goes a long way to producing these videos: www.patreon.com/benpearson My book "Handcuffed Emotions: A Police Interceptor's Drive Into Darkness" available now: amzn.to/3vGZvis

[@spierchips]

If I didn't know, I'd say you feel like you needed to bring these people back away from there trauma an impossible burden to carry , makes you think about you own personal mortality I would guess take care Ben

[@FAZE9NINE]

You know what bud , i feel you , i've seen some bad shit , i were sent death threats , and the video i was sent was horrific , the Police officer who deals with frtc , who was sent out to my home , he couldn't watch it all the way through , i still have flashbacks and i cant sleep . im here if you ever want to chat x wish i could hug you right now dude. Im also now on anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds just to feel somewhat normal

[@lucythemoggy1970]

ben even tho it was 15 yrs ago, u could see in ur face it still affects you.

[@cooltools007]

Did you receive my email? Regarding the results of crime and drugs, what you where attempting to prevent, I left a number to call if you want Ben, thanks

[@danwilliams4860]

💔

[@davidmilner5966]

I joined police at same time as Ben. I’m in a position to say he’s one of my close friends and spent many hours socialising with him. I watch these videos and hearing these accounts for the first time. Hard to imagine all the many years I’ve known him that he’s never spoken about these things especially on nights out. Keep talking about it if it helps release those demons pal.

[@BenPearson1965]

Thanks pal and love you loads. Looking forward to seeing you soon xx

[@andyp9131]

I am 61 in July. I remember Ben when I wanted to go in the same trade as my uncle a fireman the thing I failed on was people like u had to deal with people passing away burnt in a house I could not make the grade on that principle but it is such a shame we have to do the bad jobs which the job involves with it. You did your job my friend and you're doing a great job now.

[@mystical4586]

​@Ben Pearson Thank you for sharing your experiences in the Police force. I think you and those who have and still work in the Emergency Services do an excellent job, the things you see and the criminals and victims you deal with on a daily basis must be emotionally difficult on anyone. I myself went through several traumatic events over 10 years ago, and would strongly encourage talking to a trusted person. Be safe and take care xx

[@Zerofightervi]

Now you understand why traffic cops get so angry when they see a driver speeding or behaving like a lunatic. They're the ones who have to peel you or someone you've hit off the floor. I couldn't do his job, I know I couldn't.

[@dj_efk]

Christ - and me x100

[@ZJS0113]

Speeding doesnt kill. It's coming to a stop suddenly that's the problem...

[@wrapper432]

@@ZJS0113 shut up tosser

[@liams1991]

@@ZJS0113 tell that to the person getting launched over the bonnet.

[@ZJS0113]

@@liams1991 I'd tell them "if you don't stay alert, you could end up getting hurt" lol

[@theotherone163]

Ben you are an absolute inspiration talking about these stories and expressing how you felt. Strongest guy I know.

[@boahnation9932]

Absolutely.

[@PHO3N1X_28]

Definitely

[@atisystems]

Totally agree

[@wastedphoenixttv230]

Couldn’t have said it better

[@EinkOLED]

The emergency services aren't paid enough to deal with incidents like this.

[@neilhembrowicp6465]

BOLLOX to useless fuckin footballers! It's THESE GUYS SHOULD GET ALL THAT CASH FFS!!!! ☹

[@No-is2cj]

@@neilhembrowicp6465 Footballers : kick a ball around a field and gets payed millions Emergency Service Workers : save peoples lives and get injured physically and mentally and get payed mediocrely

[@neilhembrowicp6465]

@@No-is2cj My point exactly bro. Itsa buncha BULLSHITE!!! 😠😠😠🦬💩

[@wobblybobengland]

@@neilhembrowicp6465 Friend of mine used to do car recovery, recovered a mini where a bloke had shot himself in the head with a shotgun, now you lean in, grab hold of the steering wheel in a car that is not fully cleaned up of brain gore... another mate of mine was an RAF mechanic and as a young trainee had to pick up bits of bodies after the Kegworth air disaster, there are lots of people who have to clean up afterwards, traumatic stuff, not wanting to take away anything from Ben's experience mind you, sounds terrible.

[@neilhembrowicp6465]

@@wobblybobengland Sure there is some horrendous shit goes on Bob.. I bless all those people who have to clean up the aftermath 😔❤ Have a good day pal 👍

[@naturalrestingface4909]

I remember seeing a lady throw herself under the Piccadilly line at Turnham Green station. I told my girlfriend but she took it like it was a story. When you see it, it never leaves you and 24 years later I still need speech radio on at night to keep my mind occupied. I drink also. It's the sound of her high heel shoes as she made the leap that stays with me more than the aftermath. She was in bits and to some extent, so am I. All the best to you Ben

[@trevordistance4170]

15 years ago, I lived on Southfield Rd so Turnham Green was my local station. Your articulate comment moved me and, for a variety of reasons, I know what you mean. I fall asleep listening to podcasts and drink more than I'd like. I left a comment on your discussion page about making music. Wishing you all the best.

[@cat-lo3hx]

😰😨😱

[@johnennis4586]

Was she in bits before or after the train hit

[@flalingbashers2957]

@@johnennis4586 Dik ed

[@neilhembrowicp6465]

Wow buddy! I hope one day ur images will dissipate. Much love home 🇺🇲👊🇬🇧

[@Solitude11-11]

Coppers operate in a never ending war zone. Whilst the rest of the world goes about its business around them. They need much more support, it’s heart rending. I was so glad to hear you say at the end it helped you doing these videos ❤️

[@neilhembrowicp6465]

👏👏🙏

[@lewisthacker2811]

Ben is what I would to refer to as a real man, takes some serious gonads to sit in front of thousands of people and talk about this stuff. Big props to you Ben👊🏽

[@Oasis194]

💯

[@fantomphalcon9153]

Big kahuna.

[@glennk2973]

100% agree, I find it impossible to talk about the horrors I've witnessed on the railway without crying, it's not a weakness...it simply proves we are human. I spent the 1st 40yrs of my life on the wrong side of the law...silly petty crime but I hold ultimate respect for the police...doing a fantastic job in impossible situations.

[@pault2575]

Hey Ben, went to this same incident.... we turned out to this from Keighley fire station.... it was a horrible job. Never forget it :(

[@BenPearson1965]

Xxxxxx

[@PibrochPonder]

As a member of the public I have enormous respect for people who do the jobs we ask you to do.

[@kenzo881]

Bless you man. I’m a Belgian police officer and it’s heartwarming to see we all go through the same situations and feelings. It’s a hard job and most people forget that. Hope you’re doing well man. Greetings from Belgium.

[@leejones7965]

I'm ex army,2 tours of Afghanistan.ive never experienced anything like that.you deserve a medal mate.massive respect.

[@glennk2973]

Well said Lee...I commented earlier that my brother said exactly the same. He saw service in Bosnia and 1st Iraq war, witnessed horrors of losing close friends and although traumatic the brain can process bare facts...that bullet caused that hole, that explosion removed that limb....but picking up pieces unsure as to whether it's part of somebody's loved one or part of a dead badger leaves the brain spinning. It's a shame that those who deserve respect rarely get it...whether it's the BTP, regular emergency services or the armed forces....all taken for granted. It's wrong.

[@sm3296]

I found out my son took his life by a phone call when I was in Scotland, I’d just settled five days before in a new country, little village, didn’t know anyone. The trauma of the details of his death and the time leading up to it, my solo trip back to Vancouver un absolute shock replayed in my head driving me mad. I couldn’t function, sleep, think or feel. This lasted a year before I was diagnosed with PTSD. Once diagnosed I had two REMD treatments which helped me process the events and move them into the past rather than replay on a daily basis as if it happened every day. I very much recommend this therapy to anyone suffering trauma that doesn’t go away. I appreciate you expressing these thoughts Ben, male mental health is little talked about and there is too much suicides that could have been prevented if only men talked.

[@chris6559]

I was a nurse for 30 years and I've seen some stuff, this is on another level though, respect, healing and empathy from another public servant, you have more than done your bit.

[@elastronaute1198]

a male nurse?

[@Steve-xs5hf]

@@elastronaute1198 Why would it matter if a nurse is male or female? Would you prefer they said non binary, is pronouns too much for you? It is irrelevant of gender and irrespective that someone would choose a career in nursing, male or female, it's a gender neutral job title. I know both amazing male nurses and female nurses, it isn't gender specific anymore. Get with the times pal!!!

[@elastronaute1198]

@@Steve-xs5hf usually men don't choose to go into care fields such as nursing they tend to go into STEM fields when given the choice. We've seen that in Scandinavia where they've gone the farthest in trying to promote equality of opportunity and the disparity between male and females job choices has actually grown. So don't give me that new age virtue signalling crap.

[@chris6559]

@@elastronaute1198 Yeah, psychiatric, more males in that field, still a fair few in general nursing nowadays as well

[@26TM079]

@@elastronaute1198 yes a male nurse, like there are female doctors. What is your issue ?

[@lurkster1974]

I can relate to the need to talk about trauma big time. I saw my dad die when I was 8 and when I was 21, I found my brother and unsuccessfully tried to resuscitate him. I was scared that I would revive him due to the time lapse/lack of oxygen to his brain (I had to break in through an upstairs window to reach him). It took me 27 years (last year in therapy) to really let rip about my bro. Talking - and feeling - is a must. Salute to you Ben.

[@supernick2072]

🥺

[@colinward1007]

Sorry to hear your loss and thank you for sharing such a personal experience

[@lurkster1974]

@@colinward1007 cheers Colin, best wishes.

[@Ashf79]

So sorry for your loss mate 🙏

[@lurkster1974]

@@Ashf79 Thanks buddy, I didn't really mean it to be a therapy session but the appreciation is reciprocated.

[@aztecghost]

"that's when I realised I don't want to deal with any more trauma" fair play to you mate, that point for me is stubbing my toe or something 😅 absolute legend

[@jannybroekman-vanheiningen85]

Dear Ben, this is complete horror, this is on your retina, you've seen too much, and carry so mutch with you, and you can never walk away from it, it always catches up with you, so telling about it, is indeed the best you could do, and it's so brave and human. I admire you for that, it's so strong . Thanks also too Josh.

[@volvos60bloke]

Such a lovely comment

[@elastronaute1198]

It's not on his retina I know what you mean but it's actually in his hippocampus in the temporal lobe

[@jumblesaleboo]

Sudden deaths, especially RTC's and suicides always got me....Not just the graphic nature of the outcome, but learning who they were, and giving the agony message, and seeing the impact that it had on those who were close to the deceased.

[@graememorrison5456]

I’m a undertaker and can totally relate to this Rtc railway fatalities suicide, thank you for sharing your experiences 🙏

[@loopylou6841]

Yeah 👍 they're never nice 😰

[@stefeniedavidmusic]

now can you imagine what it's like to be in a war. My father drove an ambulance on the front lines in world war II in Italy. He was 20 years old. Can you imagine what he went through on a daily basis? Thank you for this and the horrible job that you had to do. I hope you get through it and come out on the other side healthy.

[@matthewpercival4353]

It's so true, to put your hand up and say "Hay I need some help" is the most empowering thing you can do if your struggling with work or home life. Don't let others play down what you are feeling you are you and you know what you can and can't deal with. Great series Ben.

[@novaadventures5758]

Biggest thing I did was ring the Samaritans on my kitchen floor in bits hardly being able to speak, saying I wanted to end it all to stop the pain and ghosts of the past. Glad to say I’m still here now been on meds but have come off them with docs advice. You are doing a stunning job by talking about the things in your rucksack etc. Bug respect and credit to you Ben 👏🙏

[@keithfraser9705]

Stay safe Nick 🙏

[@jossbelle5137]

Brave guy. How are you doing now?

[@glennk2973]

Well said, I hope you're still moving forward. It's said that most people contemplating suicide do so because they want to end the pain...it doesn't end the pain...it simply passes it to someone else. The samaritans are a fantastic organisation, nothing like most people imagine them to be either... Well done pal for reaching out. Good luck.

[@kathrinecoulton5715]

Omg I feel for u guys seeing stuff like this 😭 police officers need extra support

[@alfiejean2007]

I believe they get free of charge counselling and some sort of wellbeing checks on a regular basis

[@phantombigballs8165]

@@alfiejean2007 as a serving traffic cop right now.. you get bugger all other than. See you tomorrow for the next shift. The only way you get help is if you seek it yourself which a lit won't do until too late.

[@user-dc7cf2mt7l]

All of the public services do.

[@vickitaylor2065]

Keep talking Ben! You’re not only helping yourself, but other people too. Myself included ❤️☺️

[@scott-si1oe]

One thing most people can take away is your a decent human being. As much as I love hearing your stories and find them interesting I'm happy to hear it helps you telling them. Keep them coming 👍

[@gcm747]

As a soldier, I have so much respect for emergency services. It’s a job I could never do. I can manage/justify death in war zones but seeing trauma like you have described would be soul destroying. You’re so right. We are human and we have emotions and we just aren’t designed to see certain things without repercussions. Thanks for sharing.

[@Giantist]

Well said

[@vxrbandit2527]

@@Giantist 🙏🙏

[@JOhn-qz2vi]

There are police officers who see things that once seen can never ever be forgotten and they lock those images in a little black box and put it away in the basement of their mind and attempt to carry on as normal. So next time an officer pulls you over for something, he is trying not to add anymore to his little black box as it is quite full already.

[@DaimonWalker]

Your videos make me have so much more respect for police officers and any human in a job that sees this horror. Thank you for your service. Sincerely.

[@nickm8874]

Ben the things you’ve shouldered, and continue to shoulder, has honestly recalibrated my appreciation for the police. There’s a couple of reasons why, but I’d lost that, along the way in life, and I’m grateful for what you’ve done, and for giving me that back. Thank you

[@kyrateri1522]

On another video you told me to follow my dreams and that’s exactly what I did. My application for a pcso was accepted, they’re wanting me to go in for assessments and a in-force interview! Seeing your videos inspired me even more! Everything you’re doing is helping other people, you’re an inspiration X

[@DianeSmith67]

I have to say i think you are AMAZING ! speaking as a trauma sufferer i know your feeling to well, when i was 14 and lived in the middle of nowhere literally our closest neighbor was miles away, someone broke into our house and stabbed me, im now 55 and still cant open the door or go outside after dark, nightmares that wont end, please stay strong Ben we all love you

[@darcsentor]

Sorry you had to go through that. have you heard of EMDR therapy, it can do wonders for traumatic memory’s and help remove the nightmares.

[@DianeSmith67]

@@darcsentor thank you, not i havent heard of emdr but i will check it out thank you so much !

[@Fordy16]

Nothing but complete and utter respect to you Ben. I am 21 and joining the police. Your videos give a great and detailed insite. Thank you

[@lewisupstone763]

It’s a shame to think people are quick to judge an officer who may be a little snappy and what not, and not even think maybe there’s a deeper reason which is the real reason as to why they’re acting the way they are! Both my dad and granddad were serving police officers and both had/have their demons! Honestly chap you’re standing at the forefront of not only highlighting the true affect years of service has on an officer but also proving talking is sometimes the best medication. Real inspiration!

[@virgilrytaar9083]

A ride in a Northumbria county car at 9 years old in 1973 started my obsession with wanting to be a traffic officer. It was my dads best friend Ken, a larger than life character. He gave me an early morning lift to my grans in a Mk1 3.0 Granada with a quick blast of blues and two's, the sound of that V6 and the sheer excitement still gives me the same feeling now aged 56. Ben, having watched your films, all I can say is thank god I didn't follow my childhood dream. I'd be a wreck by now. I chose the bass guitar instead, what an easy life! I've always appreciated what lads like you do but these films are beyond anything I've watched regarding real policing. Bless you, a total inspiration

[@andysaunders3708]

Glad that you're able to talk about this major element of your life. You're a strong guy.

[@robpinter5431]

It is not a natural thing to see dead bodies or people dying in front of you.....it is common for first responders be it highway patrol police or in Australia the rural fire service to be first on scene, and after a period of time being exposed to the drama and death, people just want to avoid it. Courage is like a bank account, at every fatal, a little bit of cash is withdrawn, some have more cash than others, eventually the account is empty and it is time to move on from the job. Thank you Ben for openly discussing the issues that are faced as a first responder, to bring home that not everyday on the job is a good one.

[@Diglett_Dude]

The instant you said we went searching with torches it reminded me of a head on with multiple fatalities we attended that involved a missing infant who had been unrestrained on the lap of a mother who was passenger. Mother was the only survivor. I understand what you are trying to convey.

[@jlfromhh620]

I wish I didn’t find this channel so early I’ve already binged watched it all so interesting and real

[@lwills4661]

Thanks for sharing Ben.

[@Nikki-ot7un]

Thank you for sharing Ben :)

[@JoshLathamTutorials]

I just want to say thank you for sharing your experiences. It's very therapeutic not just for you, but for us. However, you touched on a point about how it's not possible for people to just "deal with it" and we all have a breaking point. It's an interesting topic because there are people who can seemingly be exposed to trauma without apparent effects. Maybe they accepted the sociopathic coping mechanisms that tend to arise from such traumatic careers or some people are completely able to compartmentalise their lives. For instance, some soldiers just don't have PTSD. It could be the dehumanisation training, or just something about the person. I feel this is something that needs research and attention. People like you shouldn't have to carry such weight. There has to be something we can do as humans.

[@eze8970]

Thanks again Ben.

[@singingsam40]

Thank you for being so open Ben 💜

[@ethanatkinson2345]

Great video ben.

[@OliverEdward-je3cz]

Nice one Ben, appreciate the video

[@aaronalienseeker801]

Hooked through every episode, great story telling Ben

[@kanao_trysuri7246]

Much love and Respect keep talking brother ♥️

[@warrenlockhart5009]

Respect you Ben.

[@phil955i]

Hats off to you mate ❤

[@craigorford9932]

Ayy up Ben,good vlog,had your book bought for my Birthday,Really good book.

[@imeach2897]

So glad these videos are helping you Ben I'm sure they will be helping others too

[@hazelASFC]

Awesome as always keep climbing that mountain.stay strong and well big hugs

[@dankirk1253]

Straight up OG!! Hooked watching this content keep em coming pal!

[@sallymiller1533]

Your a hero hon. Thank you for all you have done for us.

[@kathrinecoulton5715]

Your so strong x

[@davesanderson5607]

We look forward to Friday's to watch your videos ben keep up the good work

[@Codtimes85]

Respect brother ❤

[@sonicboss91]

great video man. You are still helping people just in a different way.

[@buzzin-hornet]

3:44 You can tell that's one of those moments that will stay with him forever - that sentence gave him a reality check. You get those odd moments in life where you're in a situation that's dramatic or emotional and you'll get a little a moment of it stuck in your mind forever. : (

[@darrenstone3693]

Massive respect to you Ben for being so open to us on camera👍

[@jamespeplow8701]

Top Man. Inspiring. Good luck to you. 🤗

[@01cthompson]

You are doing the world a great service with these talks.

[@jackn1818]

Amazing Chanel keep it up mate real honest content

[@26TM079]

💙💙💙💙 Keep going Mate, you're doing amazing work. 💙💙💙💙

[@casualdabbler8846]

Nothing short of a legend. Thank you for everything you have done throughout your career to keep us safe. Much love

[@BeHappyWithUrLife]

God bless you brother.

[@danielmarshall4587]

Again THANK YOU.

[@danielmarshall4587]

Bottle it up...... hopefully your bottle is big enough, and doesn't ever get broken.

[@mattrabarts2639]

Always glad to see a new video. Even if it’s on a sad topic. Keep going, great your talking about your experiences.

[@dannymacarthur13]

Thank you my friend for your past police service and take care.

[@hollanda4]

Insightful and impactful as always Ben🙏❤️ thanks as always for sharing your wealth of knowledge and experience👍

[@pete8398]

What a guy. Admire your honesty!

[@irenegroden6480]

You are a credit to the force 👍

[@jamesgallagher1992]

Youre a great speaker ben...well done lad👍

[@alf3312]

Mate you’re a legend.

[@johnkidd797]

This guy is an absolute star, I feel his pain as I'm going through C.B.T. for severe P.T.S.D. and it's not easy. I can't talk about what happened to me yet but Ben has inspired me that one day i will and that will be a massive step. Thank you pal you are an inspiration.

[@richardpage5281]

I'm so happy that this channel is taking off! I love to see a proper decent channel with worthwhile content. Well done lads and lasses,you're doing a cracking job

[@rosec7008]

Oh dude! 🥺 Sending you a massive hug xx

[@jimbass1664]

Thanks for doing the job. Hope you keep healing up. And thanks for talking about it.

[@jim_dubhglas]

Thanks for sharing this insight Ben. Lots of respects for your time invested in helping society. Always know that those watching your uploads, and that's many, appreciate you and what you have done and been through. Enjoy the rest of your life to the fullest. You deserve it. - James, Toronto, ON CANADA.

[@TheDIGGY93]

Ben you’re such an inspirational person. I really appreciate your stories and these videos. They help me with my own demons. Fantastic work as always. Thank you

[@dukeofdevon5608]

Ben I’m in tears here of what you have gone through. I have the upmost respect for you to be talking about this.

[@eviannemcveigh9305]

Ben, thank you for your video. You are a remarkable individual who has so much integrity and compassion, the tragic series of incidents you have carried around in your backpack must have been so heavy and overloaded. You are an inspiration, your family must be so proud of you. Keep safe bless you!💕

[@Thestoner5]

My guy, thank you for doing these videos, I can't even begin to imagine how accidents like this have effected you in the long run, big up for speaking up x

[@postRMO]

this must have been a life changing day for you ben, god bless

[@pezz199107]

I really look forward to your videos, Ben. Thank you for sharing even though I know it’s tough. We all have our demons, some are different to others. I find listening to you helps me acknowledge my own demons and confront them. Thank you for making me better! 😊

[@missbealsstorytime8538]

This is such a brave video!! Ben you are amazing 🥰 I’m such a big fan and have followed your journey, hearing you talk about places local to me is mind blowing. You are an incredible brave man!!x

[@williamtelford3062]

BEN you are a top guy, RESPECT.

[@JumpingJellyMan]

Another cracking video, cheers Ben. Looking forward to the jackmate podcast

[@nickynockyknackynoo2346]

You are a hero Ben. I stand back in amazement at all the good stuff you've done. I don't know how you've coped. Bless you mate, Well done.

[@meercatsdots]

i just wish i could like this video more to help people so much, you are so brave and have done so much, thank you for what you have done

[@RIBZ85]

Massive respect to you Ben for speaking out about what you have been through it helps massively in encouraging men to seek help and to let them know it's OK to be struggling keep up the great work mate

[@honey3202]

How awful ..I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this for so long but thank you; without people like you what on earth would we do? Thank you thank you. 😔🖤

[@jonnyquarmby4214]

Massive respect to you Ben. You are a massive inspiration for been able to talk about your experiences...fair play

[@paulkelly1715]

You are a good person , and we are all supporting you

[@KevinLee-ww3ny]

❤ feel for you. Keep talking. It will help you.

[@fantomphalcon9153]

It’s empathy Ben, you care, and it’s as simple as that. People say you become desensitised, and in the moment you do, it’s your job and you have to do things you don’t want to do, but you would never ask a colleague to step in and do it because again, you’re thinking it’s your task and why put them through it when their next job could be an RTC with a child involved. I hate to keep bring my Dad up, but he’s dead now and there’s no family left who I can talk about him with. After I passed out from Basic he felt he could share things, and he did share a lot of things he was carrying around with him, but in the ‘80’s there were no counsellors, just you and your bag, bin or Bergen. His first fatal were an elderly couple, motorbike and sidecar vs bus in a contra flow during construction of the Mersey tunnels. 1 deceased on scene, the elderly woman, and she was “a bit light” said a senior constable gesturing to her still sat in this sidecar, then gesturing for my dad to go walkabout to find the silver, open-faced helmet - the husband had the presence of mind to shout as my dad went wandering off in search. Nearly 100 yards away he finds it, contents unrecognisable as human. The only thing that stuck with him for 20 years, was the weight of it, like a bowling ball, it rolled like one as well. He carried it back, his arms aching. His next was a contra flow again on the M53 - he came to dread them for the rest of his career - he drank to offload, but it was retiring that finished him properly mentally, because all his pals still had each other and the job - my dad had mates visiting him at home. The absolute finisher was two colleagues in the central reservation examining the scene of an earlier RTC (RTA’s back then) when another pensioner has.a heat attack at the wheel and wiped them both out - he cried for 3 straight days, two bobbies, close friends, gone whilst on duty on the M53, he didn’t have his mates around him all consoling each other, he was never quite the same after that, and on the anniversary he’d just sit in his chair the entire day staring, thinking, staring..... the only other time he cried was when I left home by train to go for Basic Training in Reading - and he whispers as he’s hugging the life out of me (Don’t let me down son).... and I didn’t. His final words were about a year later, home on leave, we we’re having a pint together and he said “You’re big enough to fill my shoes now son” - the next morning he was gone, by his own hand, and there was the gift of my bin, and it’s first item. I lasted until I was 40 before the lid wouldn’t go back on, I’m 51 now and when your brain farts like that, it never quite goes back together the same. You’re helping me Ben because I’ve still got some weight to offload. You’re a true inspiration and I respect and admire what you’re doing, because it can’t be easy mate, but it will help you. You and many others. You keep it coming, without feeling obligated lol. Take care of yourself. Stay frosty, and thank you!

[@mattybthecatalist8991]

You are an absolute mega human Ben an inspiration to humanity ❤

[@machloop5229]

Ben. Thank you so much for your channel, especially after watching you and the team over the years on TV. Having seen my father retire on medical grounds after 27 years on Traffic through PTSD, I can hear his words echoed in this video. It’s only when he eventually sought help and open up, did a number of traumatic events come up that he had not processed. His cup was full after a short return to work. These things are best tackled early and sharing your experience will only help others come forward. Thank you and please keep the videos coming. 👍🏻

[@AngeliFernandez]

Thank you for being so candid and transparent. So many people with PTSD never, ever speak of it. I must offer you great respect and gratitude.

[@supernick2072]

It's hard because you have heart. Thank you.

[@sambofitzy11]

Used to watch you all the time literally the only show I watched on tv. Great example to anyone wanting to join. Discussing the real events that we don’t see on tv. Icon 💪