The Art of Human War & Play stupid games... | Best of r/HFY | 2069 | Humans are Space Orcs

Original Story:
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/ play_stupid_games
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{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:06 The Art of Human War
06:26 Play stupid games...
#ScienceFiction #Storytime #SciFi
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Podcast is Called : ASN Humans Are Space Orcs , HFY and other stories
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This Story is Classified as HFY or Humanity Feck, Yea , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture. In These stories Humans are often referred to as Human, Humanity, Deathworlder, Hellwolder in reference to the human planet of origin , Earth. This planet is seen by most of the universe as a place where only death and chaos can survive.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
Humans Are Space Orcs (HASO) or Humans Are (Fantasy Race) Are used as a guide when writing.
In these Stories we normally View humans like the other races view orcs in a Fantasy Novel. We (Humans) share the same characteristics and personalities as orcs. Humans are normally treated as the outsiders and barbarians. Humans tend to be underestimated as well in these stories. Unlike Humanity Feck Yea , these don't always put a positive spin on humans\humanity sometimes looking at the darker side of human and humanity from the perspective of aliens.
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Lord Azrekahl

[@TechnoMageB5]

"Only a fool fights a war on two fronts. Only the KING OF FOOLS fights a war on TWELVE fronts." -Londo Mollari

[@shadeshadow007]

Yes

[@derekstein6193]

Misquote: It is "heir to the kingdom of fools".

[@seanrobert9661]

and Vir gets his wish, waves to mordin.

[@riverraven7359]

I'm glad someone remembered the lessons of that series, had some surprisingly deep moments.

[@petman515]

And "what genetic defective made that deciction " - Londo molari - unknowingly talking about the emperor

[@melkiorwiseman5234]

Story #2: Paraphrasing Winston Churchill: You have a choice between dishonour or death. If you choose death, you will receive both.

[@Kualinar]

Make that : You have the choice between dishonour or dishonour AND death.

[@calvingreene90]

Before launching a war count your enemies.

[@jaywulf]

Ancient human philosopher Calvin Greene90

[@davidhenderson3400]

When you have half the galaxy mad as you as it is all that is needed is a little push and they dog pile on you. They probably did not need much convincing.

[@sessy01]

What I consider the "Mario Kart" principle. You may be hit by one person but the rest of the lineup will capitalize on your misfortune and pile onto it if it will not put them at a disadvantage

[@TheJMPD]

"Don't feck with the Hoomans, they have practised the art of war for ten thousand years." "But, they've only just entered the Galactic stage 2 years ago!" "Yes, and THAT is the frightening part..."

[@DragonBornClan4]

Damm, we got to use that statement more often.

[@Duke00x]

Our practice in the art of war predates our written history. Hell it predates us as a species (our hominid ancestors practiced the art of war. Even our chimp cousins war with eachother).

[@johnangel8361]

The real victory is the friends we made along the way.

[@davidhenderson3400]

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

[@wolfoffenris9951]

​@@davidhenderson3400the enemy of my enemy .... dies second

[@shovel662]

“Empty your head of all thought. If you do not know what you are doing, neither shall the enemy.” -Sun Tzu

[@badbloodkiller3471]

Captain Jack Sparrow's actions in a nutshell.

[@lupenngrimpaw936]

The Marines.

[@davidhenderson3400]

Story #1 and story #2. When you have pissed off half the galaxy and the humans find out about it. Seems to be a running theme. Seems they never learn

[@danieljensen794]

Us humans don't learn from our own lessons why would you think others will?

[@mikkelnpetersen]

"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" is the nice way of saying "f*ck around and you're going to find out"

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo Story 1: The saying goes something like "Children study tactics, Men study logistics." Story 2: It was at this moment that the House of Wuiy knew....they screwed up.

[@SergeyWaytov]

The first is really cool and on point, the second made me smile from such a good joke!

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Oh yeah, let's try and take the homeworld of the humans. That can't possibly go wrong.

[@nathansmith9104]

Five minutes later: How are they pulling us out of our star’s gravitational pull?!!?!

[@joe31226]

space vietnam

[@eliandervalderen5849]

They are lucky that the humans were just playing around with them

[@keithmays8076]

Obviously someone that's never heard of Japanese Hornets. They don't just sting and die like a regular hornet. They sting AND keep on stinging while they bite and roast you by heating you up through vibration.

[@ChobinoftheFunk]

@@keithmays8076 Hornets don't die from stinging. That's bees you're thinking of. Wasps and hornets have smooth stingers

[@KuDastardly]

The second title reminds me of an old Looney Tunes skit in which Foghorn Leghorn asks a young chicken hawk why he's tying a pumpkin down, only to get whacked in the face with it. Then he said, _"Ask a silly question, get a silly answer."_

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

Diplomacy, the biggest cannon of all.

[@elmodelo101]

Well, yes, there's nothing like "winning a war without shooting a single weapon", "winning a war before it even started" or my favorite "better than defeating your enemies is turning them into your new allies", also overcoming the conflict without sending your population to die. If I learned something in 2022 is that wats are bad for the economy and lifestyle.

[@Nempo13]

@@elmodelo101 Uh no. Wars help the economy. ALWAYS help the economy. So long as the war is not happening inside your own borders.

[@dutch6857]

"Let me tell you of an ancient Terran conflict. The War of Jenkins' Ear."

[@andrewmayer7272]

That's an obscure one, hat's off to you.

[@virtualatheist]

A new galactic law was enshrined: Should it be required - Tough Love is now mandatory for all parenting decisions.

[@derGhebbet]

text: "...in case they had another card up their Steve." ASN: "...in case they had another card up their Sneeve." Oh well, you tried.

[@Jason-sm4oc]

and your 61000+ subscribers will all attest to your perfect diction? Mr Squirrel is not even English and is clearly trying harder than you!

[@derGhebbet]

@@Jason-sm4oc Does being offended on other people's behalf make you feel righteous? If ASN had a problem with my observation, he'd probably say so.

[@CatFish21sm]

The Steve part was actually purposeful, just an obscure reference. I think he got confused on whether to say Steve caws it was as intended or sleeve. If you'd like to know more it's discussed in full detail in the comments of the actual redit post. Anyways there were plenty of other mistakes I'm aware of that lol, this one everyone seems to have picked up on. It's quite the laugh I'm glad I did it if for no other reason that to give people a little chuckle in their day :p hope you enjoyed my story have a fantastic day!

[@derGhebbet]

@@CatFish21sm i did. Thanks and you too.

[@Maddog3060]

Story 1: Earth is Serbia calling in the Detente Alliance. Hopefully it ends up better than Space Yugoslavia. Story 2: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. AKA "Eff Around and Find Out". Either way, take the inverse of that Nike ad: "Just Don't Do It."

[@merlinathrawes746]

Tactics includes much more than the movement of men/ships and identifying targets. One more time and with feeling: Don't piss off the Humans!!!

[@AmbroseBoaBowie]

I should make a space pirate story, a mix of One Piece and Hardlock

[@calebblevins6415]

"This wasn't even a challenge for you..."

[@TrueFork]

smile, you're on the Darwin Awards

[@riverraven7359]

I'm guessing it was a British ship that got jacked. We respond badly to that sort of thing.

[@somuchtocook9159]

Honestly if it was an American ship at least two planets would be glassed to kingdom come

[@geoshark12]

Its the first classic blunder never get in a land war in Asia

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

Interfering in trade and attacking traders because you didn't get the deal you want Killing part of the crew and imprisoning them Here read this history disk about the

[@yomogami4561]

enjoyed both stories. i would be interested in how they saved the homeworld in the first story. i'm assuming complex mathematic computations to move the fleet so the world returned to orbit but i'd assume some climatic damage second story i would be surprised if the ruler chose death to avoid shame. to paraphrase robert e. heinlein 'never underestimate the power of stupidity'

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Disembodied Voice!

[@Crimerenegade]

For the glory of disembodied voice! Hear my prayer oh mighty Algorithm!!!

[@jonnypena7651]

Other parent would eventually get the him about don't let your spoiled child run free.

[@stevenswenson7041]

Story 1 ... Defeat in detail. Ouch.

[@danijellino1921]

These people really need some proofreaders.

[@soffren]

The position is open if you're looking to volunteer.

[@danijellino1921]

@@soffren Absolutely not. I have trouble writing in my own language much less english. I just couldn't help but notice quite a few mistakes. I probably would have made the same amount or more if i had written this.

[@laughingdragon8858]

I love this channel.

[@macpurdy]

For the algorithm and the narrator.

[@dantreadwell7421]

Human rules lawyers. . .

[@peterwalls-qf7ii]

There is a third option. Break and clan and scatter. disappear, let the galaxy forget about wui and their fate. Strike once in ..a decade,take on enemy down, disappear. Vengeance is a dish served cold after all. No comment! Stupidity is its own reward and comment.

[@Lord_Inquisitor_William7391]

Story 1: bro basically said fuck around and find out

[@Duke00x]

That is the moral of both stories.

[@Questor-ky2fv]

2 good stories.😃

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@allmivoyses]

Galactic regulations? Bwahhhhhh!!!!

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11!

[@genericuser984]

cool

[@klappstock943]

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

[@TS-bj8my]

well read.

[@nolol9907]

nice +2000

[@mcarrowtime7095]

The last one isn’t even hfy. Space orcs maybe, but it was really just overkill.

[@stinkyfungus]

We are apex predators. There is no such thing as overkill.

[@mcarrowtime7095]

@@stinkyfungus we are not apex predators, were very good at surviving.

[@stinkyfungus]

@MC arrowtime Because we figured out that armed, ranged combat (javelin, spear, arrow or bullet) beats melee (tooth and claw) combat 99.9 percent of the time. Land predators (besides us) never figured that out. A thrown stick gave way to the atlatl, which gave to the bow, which gave way to muzzle loading firearms, which gave way to repeating cased ammunition firearms. Opposable thumbs and a big brain allowed us to reign supreme on land. The only place where we don't rule? The ocean... and even there, we can hold our own if we bring the right tools.

[@Kakarot64.]

​@@mcarrowtime7095 And that surviving just happens to be hunting entire lists of species into extinction with an efficiency no predator in history has ever matched and making almost every wild animal on the planet terrified of our presence.

[@mcarrowtime7095]

@@Kakarot64. plenty of wild animals aren't smart enough to be scared of us. humans are still hunted and killed by animals all the time, so maybe you should brush up on the definition of apex predator.

[@unknowngameplayer540]

Ha, nice

[@ductapedudekasza6008]

Hi

[@ericjones9487]

How many times did the second writer fail first grade before they dropped out?

[@merlinathrawes746]

And you've never had auto-correct cause a problem or misspelled a word? The stories themselves are quite good.

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the Algorithm

[@ivanrubiomorales2759]

Yo?

[@kerwinbrown4180]

😀

[@merlinwizard1000]

11th, 9 March 2023