The BEST CELPIP Writing Sample You Will Ever See! Can You Write Like This Student?

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HZad Education - Coaching Central

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@nishishah1729 6 ай бұрын

Your lessons are really helpful. I got CLB 11 after watching your videos. Thank you

@hzadeducation-coachingcent986 6 ай бұрын

Amazing!

@focalors.favourite 5 ай бұрын

I want to appear in celpip too need clb 9 can u plz help how u prepare

@hzadeducation-coachingcent986 5 ай бұрын

@@focalors.favourite if this question was directed to me, please email us at info@hzadeducation.com so we can assist you further with your prep.

@hzadeducation-coachingcent986 7 ай бұрын

TRANSCRIPT CONTINUED: lesson just on vocabulary and complex sentences plus I think a three-hour lesson on writing with a lot of descriptions okay so check that out it is in the description so again we always teach our students start with the purpose which this person has done but with a complex sentence as a frequent visitor of the University dining hall I feel there are a few issues I ought to discuss I ought to again instead of saying I need to I want to I ought to Advanced words you'll see Advanced words throughout this email but it's also the phrasing that has been used so get a few examples in order to address this matter properly once again it is a complex sentence anything starting with an order two any sentence that starts with that is complex so right away first impression you have advanced words great salutation great structure and you already got two complex sentences amazing I'll describe the abund pros and cons of the lunchroom on campus instead of saying benefits and disadvantages pros and cons every time find better ways to phrase your stuff instead of and using sorry adjectives abundant whenever you have U ad you have the opportunity to use adjectives use them few is an adjective abundant anything that is a quality positive appeasing delectable and there they're probably more enjoyable delightful amable and courteous not only are there the adjectives present here they're Advanced adjectives Advanced words if you don't know what these mean please use dictionary.com check them out because you want to copy paste them as well they're very usable in all types of answers so the person starts with order in order to address this matter properly I'll describe the pros and cons then goes to the next part to credit the positive attributes of this this amenity amenity of course Advanced word uh um look to credit the positive attributes this is what we call Advanced phrasing okay the phrase used here is not just I'll talk about the good things here that is what everybody can say but you want to phrase it nicely the the way it would make it Advanced and unique would be to say something like to credit the positive attributes of this amenity and then it continues the various Cuisine options are Beyond appeasing you could have said appeasing and that is again complex but he said beyond a he or she he said beyond a piecing just wherever you can use more descriptions more adjectives use them you will gain more marks the more descriptive you make it from now this is the phrasing where you go to a range okay so you're talking about a range now from this from delectable macaroni to a functional so this is phrasing where you're describing a range which is again unique at Advanced versatile and like in every sentence the examiner sees the student is using different phrasing which is going to make the examiner fall in love with the student now sad bar pizza serve that slice the dining room is not lacking on enjoyable cooking again guys this is also very Advanced phrasing this is why this will definitely score 11 to 12 I'll tell you why I'm saying 11 cuz this level should be 12 I'll tell you in just 2 minutes so you could have said the dining room is enjoy but he said dining room is not lacking on enjoyable cooking again using every Advanced way to define it so you can use it it's very easy it's not lacking on and then the positive all right further good connectors every throughout there are good connectors further the staff is delightful amiable and courtious very good adjectives U no grammar mistakes this uh is the reason why it might score 11 guys cuz this paragraph you see body two compared to body one and body 3 is very short okay and it should be balanced with the other bodies so that means the student has sacrifice some words from this one this point however they mention two points so there's conversely the facilities could benefit from a tuneup next point is also students occasionally struggle to find something to eat which is a grave uh finding something to finding something to eat is a grave issue it should be finding okay so there's a grammar mistake here too which means this will definitely fall at 11 now I am sure uh one grammar mistake one point down especially once you're really high once you're starting with 12ish now the even if this was not there let's the grammar mistake is not there the student has done two points so two points is the main requirement you need to have everybody should answer two points per bullet point if the student didn't have this little mistake I could have ignored that this paragraph is slightly smaller and given him or her at 12 now it's definitely 11 cuz there's one mistake here but again look at the phrasing facilities could benefit from instead of saying you need a tuneup you can use words like could benefit from adverbs the more adverbs you use the better the more Le you use it includes marks in the range of vocabulary once again another complex sentence by starting with bu makes the sentence complex divides it into two parts by repainting the walls in installing upd flooring and expanding to additional lighting you see it's not just the Bland points it's practical points you want to your realism these are the real suggestions you would make if you're telling some place to update its furniture it's not just hey have better lighting but have additional lighting installing updated flooring always defining your points instead of just saying you know improve flooring the property will be suitably adverb great job improved furthermore again a connector grade connectors outside of the regular menu again Advanced phrasing you see this when a phrase or a clause like this is in between commas you are putting it as an extra piece of information so you could also ignore this you can just say furthermore I propose but by putting this extra information you're showing the examiner your ability to add extra phrases and put them within a sentence you essentially talking about other important points but like this is a bracket thing this is an additional point that I can put because I know how to use Advanced phrasing so that's what you're communicating to The Examiner I propose the addition of a s station through which through which Advanced phrasing so you're giving the benefits through which this will happen throughway students will be given the opportunity to create their own meal regardless of what is being served regardless again add it to make the sentence complex and also add another another point just to give it more depth and description if you guys have sent me your writings and if I've ever given feedback and said it lacks description that's what I mean lacking additional details the more detail you give the better great way to do that is by using adjectives all the time okay ultimately good connector and a good concluding uh word to start off the conclusion ultimately the dining hall though a wonderful it's beautiful I want to cry though a wonderful it's an advanced phrasing because now it's going to make the sentence complex though something something comma something something else it's divided into two points though a wonderful place to have Aid and Converse with polite staff and students could benefit from a few minor improvements minor wonderful uh polite put these put adjectives on purpose to get more marks I would be overjoyed to assist with this transition Overjoyed instead of saying basic words like happy all right this is what it takes guys this is what you need to to do to score an 11 or 12 it's a shame that there was just one little petty grammar mistake but if it was not there this is one of the best writings I've ever seen and if you write like this you can score 12 now if you want to know what your level is you can compare your writing with this one or you could send us your writing via email email is in the description info@ as education.com you'll get free feedback we will tell you your level and how much work you need to do and if you again want to just practice this on your own check out our CELPIP self-paced course in the description that'll teach you how to practically write like this and score a 10 plus in your writing exam please like share and subscribe talk soon