THE BEST DRUMMER JOKES

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_______________ THE BEST DRUMMER JOKES -- Come on, sometimes drum jokes are just down right funny. Here's some of my favorite drum jokes that I've heard over the years.
Leave a comment with your favorite joke!
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[@RomanFlorea]

Q: How do you puzzle a musician? A: You take his sheet music away from him. Q: How do you puzzle a drummer? A: You put the sheet music in front of him.

[@Lulu-wi4ld]

True

[@reidgowan2670]

I can't read sheet music on drums for the life of me.

[@aaronmendoza875]

+Reid Gowan I bet it looks something similar to hieroglyphics

[@dougtaylor2803]

I can work with sheet music but no way can read it and perform it on first sight...NOT going to happen.

[@nickjeffreys3721]

Roman Florea so true😂😂

[@Drummingwizkid]

I was at a gig once and heard " can the musicians and the drummer come to the stage"

[@CamronRobb]

Ouch...

[@rosannelobaton6657]

As a Drummer I'm PISSED

[@bogdanchirva]

Chester Birchwood That’s tuff 😂 I felt that

[@Michelle-go5nv]

@@rosannelobaton6657 are you sure you're a drummer...drummers are above the title 'Musician' lol

[@GoldNettle]

Its not wrong. The musicians are basically peasants to the demigod of time.

[@AndrewKonkey]

I've got one, Stephen. How do you know that a drummer is at your door? The knocking speeds up. XD

[@classixdrummer]

. . . And he never knows when to come in.

[@hannes1734]

classixdrummer No, that's the singer.

[@staciepaul]

What do you do when a drummer comes to your front door? Pay him for the pizza.

[@williamweir1547]

A Lady at a restaurant asks the waiter to read the menu for her.The waiter says"Tonight we have a variety of musician's brain's"."What are they?"the lady asks.The waiter replied"Well we have an ounce of guitarist's brains for 25$,an ounce of bassist's brains for 45$ and an ounce of drummer's brains for 300$".The lady was shocked and said"300$ for an ounce of drummer's brains!!".The waiter responded"Ma'am do you know how many drummer's it takes to make an ounce of brains!!" ;-)

[@solenkeks]

ooh, i got a good one! Lars Ulrich.

[@ivanwentzel2704]

Now that is hilarious

[@tahoekid7548]

Ouch

[@b.mota_drumz]

solen keks rude

[@robs9574]

two years later still an epic joke

[@jacksoninc.4062]

LOL ROFL LMAO

[@jedidrummerjake]

How do you make a drummer's car go faster? .....you take the Dominoes sign off the top.

[@WraithBassTabs]

Or you just let him drive

[@Judesmood118]

There's an ancient Buddhist proverb that reads: "If thy enemy wrongs thee, buy each of his children a drum".

[@harrycorden6394]

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? A drummer.

[@madrums007]

The drummer is the musician's best friend, and the percussionist is the drummer's best friend

[@pawelmorrison]

What do a drum solo and a sneeze have in common? You know its coming, but there's nothing you can do about it..

[@MikeHawk-tj3dz]

You can hold your nose shut and avoid sneezing

[@oldrigenovy]

What would a band make without a drummer? Music

[@classixdrummer]

What's the difference between a drummer and a savings bond? Eventually the savings bond will mature and make money.

[@ironweaselsbest]

there are only three kinds of drummers. those that can count, and those that can't.

[@saintpoli6800]

Danny M. Ahhhh, I got the joke

[@bpa5721]

Ba dum tss

[@StephenTaylorDrums]

You have no idea how hard it was to resist putting one of those in this video...

[@chimney.kricket]

+Stephen Taylor its called a rimshot

[@lukeberry94]

How do you know the stage is level? The drool is coming out of both sides of the drummers mouth. Why do drummers leave their drum sticks on the dash of their car? So they can park in handicapped spots.

[@MrJparkerpunx]

Did you hear about the guitarist who locked his keys in his car? It took him 4 hours to get the drummer out.

[@connor3mm597]

How do you find the time to make these jokes ? Seriously, cause I can't find any time ....

[@marshalmciff6577]

Bu dum tss

[@dracdrum]

What's the difference between a large pizza and a drummer? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... A pizza can feed a family of four... ba dum tsss!

[@kshepthedrummer]

how do you know a drummer is at your front door? he keeps knocking faster and faster and doesn't know when to come in

[@kc5tng]

Thats really a drummer along with the singer in the band - The drummer is knockin .. and obviously, the singer is waiting

[@classixdrummer]

My Dad's personal favourite. "What's the difference between a large pizza and a working musician? The large pizza can feed a family of five." Miss you , Dad!

[@l1nk987]

What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend? Homeless. Ba dum tss

[@leviackermann770]

What about girl drummers that arent bi or lesbians

[@AK3178mobile]

Overheard at my son's music school where he takes drum lessons: student to piano teacher - I want to try drums. piano teacher - cool, drummers are musician's best friends..

[@The-eo4lj]

,,So many drummers so little time'' hahaha

[@TheCheeberz]

Q: What do you give a kid that can only count to four? A: A pair of drumsticks

[@notapplicable8136]

whats the last thing the drummer said to the band? lets do one of my songs now!

[@gordongate]

Whats the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? you only need to punch information into a drum machine once.

[@tieukhavu8832]

2:19 Umm, the drummer with the good Timing actually because he did it well. Instead of the other one. Lol.

[@76JStucki]

In fifth grade, they have kids try out different instruments to be in the band. If a kid can't play any of them, they give him a couple sticks and put him in the back. If he can't do that, they take one away and put him in the front.

[@roberte.tewksbury7601]

HOW "WANT TO BE" MUSICIANS END UP GIVING DRUMMERS A BAD NAME AS IN "ANYONE CAN BEAT A DRUM BUT NOT EVERYONE CAN PLAY ONE"

[@bakerfam1000]

"Two musicians and a drummer walk into bar" I've gotten that a few times by a bassist I worked with haha

[@joshfeenai8363]

I was expecting some of the rudiment jokes I'd Herta... I'm sorry.

[@amneenja5720]

Josh Feeney this made my eyes BLEED

[@Zavgorodny]

Lol, this is almost as if Louie C. K. started playing drums. :D

[@clivemillman5269]

Drummer walks into a store and pull out a shopping list. "can I purchase a Mic, Mic stand and some guitar strings please?" Shopkeeper says "Are you a drummer"? "Yes, how do you know"? replies the drummer. Shop keeper replies. "This is a grocery store, music shop is three doors down"

[@ShyGuyInKilt]

Allt hose joke exist because drums is an instrument that too many people think they can play but they don,t (just like bass). And I always love those joke.

[@Bassett457]

You have 50k subs, you've earned it, you're awesome. Congratulations.

[@seacucum]

how do you know the drum stool is level? They'll be drooling from both sides of their mouth

[@D1ne-O-SAur]

I came here because of "ten Annoying things a drummer deal with" and acctually, I couldn´t do anything better, jaja

[@omar_garper]

1. What do you get when you mix a drummer with a clock? - A lot of extra time. 2. Why was the drummer happy? - Because he hit the right note. 3. What’s a drummer’s motto? - “When in doubt, beat it.” 4. What do drummers love about drumming? “It’s the only job where you can hit things and get applause.” 5. Why do drummers love coloring books? - Because they can use the pencils as drumsticks.

[@PlugThePull]

Nah, the best drummer joke is...: me :c

[@madrums007]

The drummer is the musician's best friend, and the percussionist is the drummer's best friend

[@dougtaylor2803]

Q:What's the difference between a large pizza and a drummer? A: A large pizza can feed a family.

[@johnswan9639]

What do you call a drummer in a 3 piece suit ??? Defendant..😂🤣

[@zackstump5425]

Video: has drum music Also Video when a joke happens: doesn’t have the 2 drums and a cymbal soundtrack

[@VoodooRock01]

Q: How do you know when the stage is level? A: The drummer drools out both sides of their mouth

[@zackstump5425]

He moto: always be prepared Me: that’s why I have condoms in my car Neil peart: what does a drummer use for birth control? Me: uhhhhhh, a hi hat? Neil: his personality Me: well, my condoms are useless

[@76JStucki]

What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead drummer in the road? There are skid marks in front of the snake.

[@CanvasFalcon]

What do you call a drummer in a suit? The Defendant...

[@jimmyjones2896]

How can you tell if a drummer is at your door? They always knock 4 times, the knocking gets slower, and they don't know when to come in.

[@renatosabato]

I didn't get most of the jokes. But then, again, I'm a drummer

[@mantzini]

A drummer walks into a bar of 7/8's

[@skinnyrabbitt3146]

mantzini aww shit

[@jimbarcelona1078]

The only thing I can say is,Tilt, please deposit another Quarter!,yuk yuk yuk.

[@SpyroNL]

What do you can the worst drummer in Asia? No Thai Ming

[@StephenTaylorDrums]

YES! One I haven't heard! Love it

[@SpyroNL]

Stephen Taylor first time i heard that one i couldnt stop laughing for a few minutes

[@Yaboroqe]

Spyro NL !!!this is the best one!!. Hahaha😂😂😂

[@chrisheather3391]

Actually my favourite KZbin video now

[@drummarr61]

Couple of Bass Player Jokes for you. A Scientist was captured by an African Tribe and the jungle drums were beating relentlessly for weeks. He asked WHY DO THE BLOODY DRUMS KEEP BEATING ? The Chief replied Drums don't ever Stop.WHY asked the Scientist. Chief replied When Drums Stop Bass Solo starts. .What do throw a drowning Bass Player?........His Amp.

[@punkfan97]

how do you know there's a drummer at your door ? he doesn't know when to come in

[@jaggerdenmark7327]

I'm from Mississippi and I love your stuff keep it up

[@WhatAWasteOMusic]

That V Neck though..... :)

[@rockycavignac6152]

Noice.... You beat me to it!

[@phile5437]

IIt's one of Matt Halpern's V Necks

[@FalseLi3s]

You now need to make a video just full of ba dum Tss. Just one hour of different drums and stuff playing that. Do it or I will plague the Internet with my terrible drumming and life video quality.

[@rk41gator]

How can you tell there's a drummer at the door? . The knocking speeds up. (Phil Collins)

[@cleftcast9673]

what do you call someone who hangs around bands? a drummer

[@jameswilson2497]

(Q) How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? (A) None.... they have a machine to do that now.

[@MikeHawk-tj3dz]

They got a light bulb changing machine now?

[@Ticonderous1]

Guy walks into the store and says " i want a Marshall stack with Fender strat, all the effects pedals you have, a mic and a mic stand and a " the shop assistant says " whoa slow down bro , you must be a drummer , right" The guy says " yeah how did you know ?" The shop assistant say s "this is a fish and chip shop" Boom Boom

[@MrRCOTE]

How do you know your drummer's been abducted by Aliens?.....Every gig he loses 9 minutes of time...(cue X-files music) :)

[@karenmiller2496]

I owed my drum teacher 500 bucks on 4/04. I told him I'd pay him on 7/08 because of the progress we've made.

[@hwd71]

What do you call someone who hangs around musicians? The Drummer.

[@theevildrummingsithlord1492]

My version of drummer jokes are as follows: 1. Making dad jokes and playing the rimshot before a song starts. 2.Taking a silly drum solo that involves hitting the music stand and other musicians. 3. Making dad jokes and playing the rimshot before/after a song. This is how you get your band to hate you.

[@benn.official_]

meanest thing ive heard me: whos that guy with the band "friend": oh, the drummer? me: ._.

[@josteinv.jordet257]

What about a bassist joke? Ok: There was a band playing at a bar, the whole band was amazing! After an hour they decided to take a break. in the break they met the owner of a record label and he thought they were good, and they got a deal. After the break they were back on the stage. The drummer thought: all the girls are gonna love me! The guitarist thought: im gonna be rich! The bassist: A - A - A - A -E - E - E - E

[@demonocusmetalocus3558]

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians? the drummer How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb? 10 ,1 to change the bulb and the other 9 to talk about how they could do it better How many singers does it take to change a lightbulb? just 1 they just hole the bulb up and the world revolves around them Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car? It took him four hours to get the bass player out.

[@JesseP.Watson]

How many folk musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? ...Two: one to put in the new bulb and the other to sing a song about how much better the old one was. ...One of my favorites. :-)

[@jemcuk1]

q. What's the difference between a recording engineer and a toilet seat? a. A toilet seat only has to deal with one arsehole at a time!

[@ethanpettigrew593]

I'm actually from Mississippi, so that joke killed me!

[@cuda426hemi]

Why do drummers place their drumsticks on the dashboard? So they can park in Handicapped Zones

[@gintongkalawang987]

What do you call a Drummer Rapper? BeatBoxer

[@joachimschneider1397]

Imagine a blind bassman and a dumb drummer in the band: The bassman: Are the already dancing? The drummer: Are we already playing?

[@tararichards1433]

Oh Teach, you crack me up!

[@JerryBeatFreak]

...These jokes made me chuck my drums down a hill.............Drum-roll......

[@kc5tng]

How can you tell if the stage is level... look at the drummer - if he is slobbering from both sides of his mouth, the stage is level~!

[@jaggerdenmark7327]

I was born in Hattiesburg I went there about every weekend love that place

[@sanityinaseaofmadness7353]

What do you say to the drummer at your front door? "How much for the pizza?"

[@eli.haneca]

Your band is only as good as your drummer

[@yulanottenfwicke7578]

Eli Haneca Did you hear about the drummer who fell off...oh, wait, I screwed that up. Can we start from the top?

[@jockejarbinks3747]

Drumming will be one of the first jobs to be taken over by robots, 'cause drummers are little more than defective metronomes.

[@lukelynch8328]

Imagine Green Day without Tre Cool

[@handfulofbabycarrots9312]

Well shit

[@MattPlaysDrums]

its only funny because another drummer was saying them

[@richardfosha3299]

*insert step-brothers quote*

[@jamestorres9012]

I did not get a single one of these jokes... ;-;

[@matthewkeough8310]

What do you say to a drummer at your door? How much for the pizza?

[@jakerjac]

These are good!

[@wolfgangnowak6219]

Drummer jokes? Do not exist. Thats all true stories.

[@joefrayling9263]

How do you know when the stage is level? The drummer dribbles out of both sides of his mouth. What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once How do you know the drummers showed up at the party? He knocks 4 times and comes in late

[@seanoconnor7508]

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians all day every day? The drummer....

[@bisaillion]

Okok, here's a guitar player one to make you feel better. How do you get a guitarist to turn down? Put sheet music in front of him. Ba-dum-tsh

[@Tekkerue]

Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car? It took him 3 hours to get the bass player out. ;)

[@pablocruise678]

2-4 years!!!!

[@TheSleathable]

and I thought this guy was meant to have good timing...

[@StephenTaylorDrums]

TheSleathable slides in for the win

[@fermiLiquidDrinker]

What's black and blue and in a ditch? A guitarist who told shitty drummer jokes.

[@yovanig.d.5905]

He's telling them jokes Oof.

[@teirdalin]

Wow these jokes though.

[@jmr3cats]

What's the most important part of a joketiming.

[@Box_Son]

How do you get a drummer off your front porch? Pay him for the pizza.

[@kevinkirk4285]

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? None. The keyboard player can do it with his left hand...

[@basedbattledroid3507]

What does a band do when the lead guitarist is late? They escape.

[@rubb3rduck]

You saved the best for last. \m/

[@andrewe6762]

What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians? A drummer.