The Best of Rifftrax - The Journey:Absolution

[@guyvizard549]

If Sergeant Bradley and Commander Kalgan ever teamed up, the scenery chewing alone would be a major threat to the planet.

[@mog-momentofglory]

Who s Kalgan

[@johnlandreth9350]

Elizabeth Berkley "I Stared in Showgirls after Saved by the Bell". Mario Lopez: "Hold my Beer".

[@shuttittuppitt9355]

Damn. "Saved by the bell" was the kiss of DEATH for some peoples' careers, huh?

[@1bwash]

He's so conventionally attractive, it's crazy he couldn't land roles in those teen movies that were coming out at the time.

[@RavnerRavner]

"this is why you don't give your inner demons creative control of the script" ...Killed me with that.

[@8888ADRIAN8888]

I really cracked up at the multi-layered "If you want to spy on the blood ceremony turn to page 33; if you want to linger by the men's shower turn to page - Ohp!"

[@ave4060]

I saw the first few seconds of shirtless dudes and thought, "Oh jesus, is this a David DeCoteau movie?"

[@ryanbarker5217]

why would you admit you're familiar with his 'work' to the point where you recognize his 'style'?

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

Bear in mind that this was the dream of the director and/or writer, a project he had sweated blood to make real, his life's ambition. This.

[@EpicBeard815]

*Looks up the director* Holy shit, David DeCoteau might be my favorite filmmaker ever

[@BigEOT3]

EpicBeard815 Probably still better than that overrated talentless hack Tom Hooper.

[@TheRealNormanBates]

EnragedEric Is that like the older brother of Tobe Hooper?

[@Eisenwulf666]

@@EpicBeard815 oh is a DeCoteau movie. That explains a lot. Mainly the homoerotic stuff.

[@ryanbarker5217]

@@Eisenwulf666 i guess jean claude van damme was busy that day.

[@t1p9d]

Did they ever consider maybe putting some plot somewhere in the movie? I mean, even Deep Throat had a little bit of a plot.

[@kenblake5449]

I never saw this movie before and yet I knew they would have a sock beating scene.

[@Nightweaver1]

This may be the most homoerotic thing ever, and that's including Brokeback Mountain.

[@shuttittuppitt9355]

This is even nore homoerotic than the N'Sync music video (Tearin up my heart).

[@Chadghostal]

I regret searching the director's history on IMDB, but on the other hand, it answers EVERY QUESTION as to any fashion choices or casting or, well anything about why this movie was made.

[@horaciosi]

Top Gun had less homoerotic overtones than this.

[@Vashthestampdee]

Still needs more Volleyball.

[@calypsokiosko9067]

@@Vashthestampdee I think we saw plenty of balls in the movie already.

[@jac6995]

David DeCoteau movies are usually just very soft core gay porn

[@AmyLSacks]

Even Bender wants them to tone down the ass references. ;)

[@dragonkeeper19600]

I was just about to comment, "This movie is gayer than Top Gun," but you beat me to it!

[@reginald3874]

I never get tired of these. Keeps me smiling and occasionally laughing to myself at work.

[@karnerblue7658]

Same. These guys got me through some tough times.

[@ralicea4291]

I'll never forget the interview Richard Grieco gave to TV Guide, in which he stated, "I see myself as being hot for the next seven years. I just don't see anyone else who's got what I've got." And this is where that led him... Daria was right. It's a sad, sick world. (HEH)

[@monkeymouse]

Starring a "Saved By the Bell" guy and a bargain-bin Kiefer Sutherland!

[@ChromeDestiny]

Also the woman who plays Jill, the rich woman from that sitcom about addicts, Mom!

[@cumulushalo576]

The journey: Assolution

[@lauramaue]

It took *every inch of every shit I had* not to bust a gut watching this.

[@Fulcibaby1124]

" Never send your kid to libertarian summer camp" is a classic line

[@sledzeppelin]

I've always thought Mario Lopez is actually a robot that's poorly programmed to mimic human behavior, and this does nothing to change my mind.

[@DangerousParent]

🤣🤣🤣 Yep!

[@WheezyLiam]

I'm still laughing at "every inch of every shit he has."

[@christopherjones5446]

Did someone take the volleyball scene from Top Gun and stretched it out for 90 minutes??

[@captain_hat6247]

Directed by David DeCoteau. Notorious for many of his "films" being borderline softcore gay porn.

[@CrazyKungfuGirl]

The subtext is strong in this one...

[@CaptEoNinja83]

We would have been better off with Ernest going to the Moon.

[@elafimilo8199]

@@smetupp05 same

[@shawnfields2369]

@@elafimilo8199 Yeah, me too. We would've been better having Mario Lopez, white shirt guy at the beginning, the blond chick, and the black shirted screaming cigar guy who sniffed Mario Lopez's shit all in Ernest Goes To The Moon. But, having Mario Lopez playing Ernest is pretty weird though... but I'm sure he could probably do it.

[@docthemetalfreak]

@@shawnfields2369 I think they were gonna do an Ernest in space movie but sadly Jim Varney passed away before it could happen

[@shawnfields2369]

@@docthemetalfreak Yeah, that is sad. The world needed another Ernest movie. Jim Varney did the role so well, that nobody could ever do it as well as he did. He was a great person and a great actor too. We'd all watch Ernest Goes To The Moon, of course. If it were only real, it'd probably be the one of the best Ernest movies ever. Sure, not every Ernest movie was a hit, but Jim Varney played the role well in every single movie he was in, that I don't think it would've mattered. But the world needed at least one last sendoff to both Jim Varney and Ernest.

[@sledzeppelin]

But that's true of all movies.

[@TheRealNormanBates]

5:07 “Oh great... _more dangling sacks”_

[@Proudinfid3l]

Saved by the bell end.

[@ffnendhgrgd]

"I'm threatening to castrate you if you mess with me again!" "That's *cough* gay, bro"

[@AmyLSacks]

We've found the creative [sic] team who should helm the remake of *Space Mutiny.*

[@RavnerRavner]

niiice

[@typacsk]

I'm on board, as long as Jamie Pressley spends the whole thing in a space-leotard.

[@AmyLSacks]

@@typacsk I hope the budget allows for two space-leotards. She might want to take a shower and do laundry once or twice during the exhaustive nine days of filming.

[@notrealy180217]

"Behind the scenes at Buzzfeed"

[@ralicea4291]

"Going back to wherever the hell I keep coming from. See ya!"

[@cityhawk]

Richard Grieco: Remember when I was supposed to be the next Johnny Depp. 😭

[@ralicea4291]

Yyyyyup. That DID NOT WORK OUT.

[@karnerblue7658]

Idiot thought he was going to be a sex symbol. 🤢🤣

[@lillianfraijo6621]

Hey, Booker's a good cop!

[@kellyweingart3692]

“Grieco” Roman wrestling 😂

[@kellyweingart3692]

“I was on 21 Jump Street, now look at me”

[@JamesSmith-vk2ky]

"Behind the scenes at Buzzfeed." 👍😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@DrummerGrrrl]

"Slo-mo crotch parade!"

[@MariktheGunslinger]

It's like Luis from Ant-Man had all his awesome sucked out and replaced with college frat.

[@guyvizard549]

1:30 Dolph Lundgren's brother, Dorf.

[@crashandersen602]

Holy Shit, that's a young Jamie Pressly! I didn't recognize her without a redemption-set hick ex-husband running away from her!

[@DangerousParent]

🤣😂🤣😂🤣LMAO

[@shrews12001]

"Ok so we get the fourth most popular actor from Saved By The Bell and a guy that once stood in for wide shots of Armand Assante and put them in a movie that makes you hate yourself for watching it even more than you hate the people that made it for making it."

[@eddiebranden1]

Slater, Joy Turner, AND Booker? YES!

[@jac6995]

Ewe icky, who casted girls in this movie?

[@flippedoutkyrii]

Watch out, boy's! They may have C O O T I E S!

[@MrDemomanman]

David Decauteau always casts at least one 'token girl' in his movies, and she is usually the only one who keeps her clothes ON

[@jac6995]

@@MrDemomanman I think Jaime Pressely actually showed her boobs in this movie. I'm sure David averted his eyes.

[@AmyLSacks]

To be fair, that's every movie. Once there's more than one woman in a movie, it becomes a "Chick Flick." :P

[@AmyLSacks]

@Diane Berg [sheds a single tear]

[@StellarMarvel]

Planet Has-Beenia

[@dunes8817]

So like Top Gun + Starship Troopers?

[@kalahlillquist4781]

Soooo hilarious. God I love these guys.

[@flippedoutkyrii]

Why does the "Hardass of the century" act like a roided-out meth-addict from an early 90's drug PSA? And is anyone else gonna mention how his idea of clearing a gun jam is just completely destroying the weapon?

[@JamaicanCastle]

If I had to deal with that many teenagers at my job, I'd have a pretty hefty substance abuse problem too.

[@ralicea4291]

'Cause that's what he pretty much became. Sad, really.

[@typacsk]

Because that was the director's idea of "masculinity" >_> Well, that and asses, apparently.

[@virginiadare1587]

Director's note to Richard Grieco: Look painfully constipated at ALL TIMES.

[@maxbrandt6]

This must have been one of those God awful direct to video direct to the bargain bin movies you usually passed over at Blockbuster.

[@maxbrandt6]

@@smetupp05 Yep!

[@michelleadams5609]

Can we at least be grateful its not Dustin Diamond?

[@thathawaiiandude787]

Michelle Adame VERY true. I agree wholeheartedly.

[@littleteethkeith]

May he RIP

[@wcharliewilson7004]

At 11:15, Jamie looks at the camera...

[@srbrant5391]

From the same director who gave us _A Talking Cat, Santa's Summer House, Cougar Cult, Haunted Frat, Witches of the Carribean, Retro Puppet Master, Teenage Alien Avengers, Test Tube Teens From the Year 2000, Beach Babes 2: Cave Girl Island_ and a _lot_ of porn from the 80's. Seriously, how does this guy keep getting work?!

[@Icanhasautomaticcheeseburger]

7:46: Oh, SNAY-UP!

[@tamaramanheim8831]

11:18 Absolutely! No subtlety at all.

[@drumr72]

"How to do sex, Chapter 1" LOL

[@shawnfields2369]

Still haven't read that one yet...

[@shuttittuppitt9355]

11:33 DISEMBODIED VOICE = "Which each hour, the survival of our great race is threatened by the conditions of our own dying planet." Maybe your "great" race would NOT be endangered if your men had focused LESS on being a bunch of boner popping perverts who couldn't even figure that sex with each other does NOT mean beating the hetero out of each other with loaded socks, & had focused MORE on having sex with GIRLS.

[@Nufc_grb]

So who did mike kill when he found out it was that mario lopez

[@scitechian]

Why is Farmer's Tan McDadBod part of the "elite" Z Team instead of the less ridiculous option of having him be one of the hopefuls?

[@typhonviserys8288]

Dude can dance for hours. Or at least he could in Clueless...

[@joeskis]

still looking for that directors cut

[@shuttittuppitt9355]

Try some motels

[@winstondurden4427]

What's Up Jerks!!

[@extraram896]

It's really impressive how a movie can be so homoerotic AND homophobic

[@jimmyjshorror]

Is this a David Dakota film?

[@redwulf1943]

Roll fizzlebeef

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

Big McLargehuge

[@JamesSmith-vk2ky]

Brock Giantmongous.

[@Ssssssnakeisone]

Reef Blastbody!

[@Nightweaver1]

We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese!

[@wcharliewilson7004]

"Feels like the Daleks should be rolling through these tunnels" No, SG1 maybe, but not the Daleks... Well, that's until I heard Richard D, Anderson say "I love Rachel Maddow, don't you?"

[@bojangles2644]

Oh well, the guy that shows Mario around was the brother in Even Stevens. Just in case you were wondering. Emilio!!!

[@calypsokiosko9067]

"Excitement poop!"

[@Car1a]

Behind the scenes at BuzzFeed 🤣

[@graydonsmith5722]

7:35 You know, I bet they would've made Glacier Bay if they put fifteen more miles behind her

[@redvintner1094]

I’ve been reading slash fic since the 90s and even I think the homoeroticism is a little overboard here.

[@joshuablack8221]

I have a new-found respect for Mario Lopez; to have had the strength to put his ego aside and act in this tremendous piece of shit, is mind boggling. I’m not surprised that no one in this movie went on to do anything big 🤣

[@jondunmore4268]

including Mario Lopez

[@gottfriedhub]

The girl, Jaime Pressley did my name is Earl as Joy

[@jondunmore4268]

10:03 -- Is Richard Grieco sniffing jockstrap??? What the actual fuck?

[@TheSarge1911]

Is that Pat the video game punk?

[@jeremyusreevu237]

Here's an impossible question: Which movie is worse for Mario Lopez's career? This, or Fever Lake?

[@shawnfields2369]

Depends on which one looked worse, and which one you've seen first. But, if the cast of this did Ernest Goes To The Moon instead, I think that could've saved someone's career. But the hot blond lady in this was in the crappy D.O.A movie, as Tina Armstrong, and this movie didn't somehow kill her career, and I don't think that one did either. But Richard Geico(or whatever his name was, I keep forgetting), the older brother from Even Stevens,( the disney sitcom), and Lopez himself, all did this instead of Ernest Goes To The Moon... that's sad. We all would've been better off with that lost Ernest movie, than this low budget ripoff of Top Gun, but in space. Also, it depends on which RiffTrax you've seen first, and which one you think is funnier.

[@typacsk]

Alternatively: how did Jamie Pressly's career recover from appearing in this movie?

[@channelj.m.h254]

3:17 LOL 3:23 Big LOL 3:28 Mega LOL And before I forget, 1:20 is one of the biggest LOL's ever! P.S, I like 5:44. Man I love the screaming during 10:04

[@elafimilo8199]

Don't forget 9:22

[@jeremybr2020]

I used to wonder why people would often put Mario Lopez in homo erotic type jokes. But now......I get it. It all makes sense.

[@shuttittuppitt9355]

It's not only me, right? I'm not the only one who's thinking "These guys aren't ACTING gay, they really ARE gay"! This movie would be 100% complete if they had Michael Jackson in it somewhere.

[@sianjones7167]

Jaime Pressly.... Yes please. Yum. She makes any movie watchable for her presence alone. BTW Mike Nelson in his MST3K episodes was also damn fine eye candy. As well as being funny as hell.

[@karnerblue7658]

I just looked up pictures of him when he was younger. Yeah, he was pretty good looking. I had no idea. 😍 Not too bad now, actually!

[@jondunmore4268]

I didn't even recognize Jaime Pressly! Margot Robbie took her place visually over the last decade, and wiped her off the cinematic landscape.

[@johnpendarvis7885]

OMG....the acting.

[@joshuablack8221]

07:36 Every man every time 💯😂😂🤣🤣😎

[@SurahOnline]

*Mario Lopez and Jaime Pressley did a movie together!???! Wow. Cool*

[@ramseydoon8277]

Is this 'movie' a David Dakota(sp?) flick?

This movie is gayer than Ru Paul’s Drag Race but nowhere near as fabulous.

[@horaciosi]

This makes Brokeback Mountain look like Predator.

[@Ammeeeeeeer]

Wait...isn't this from the director of that talking cat movie? 🤔

[@ian_b]

I sort of understood this movie until a girl turned up. What is a girl doing in this movie? It makes no sense.

[@CarlotaZimmerman]

*cackling*

[@guyvizard549]

Jeez, was this directed by David DeCoteau?

[@guyvizard549]

I meant this as a joke... Holy shit...

[@shawnfields2369]

@@guyvizard549 By who? Is that the name of the bad guy in this low budget Top Gun, Ernest Goes To The Moon ripoff?

[@grimlyfiendish5579]

4:39 Brendan Fraser's gay twin.

[@joshuablack8221]

5:08 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kpr2]

Pardon me, I need to go wash out my eyes now.

[@TerrenceNowicki]

You can tell it's a David DeCoteau film by all the shirtless men.

[@georgewilson7432]

Fullmetal Jacket, but is a gay porn spoof.

[@wasnt_it]

Possibly gayer than Nightmare on Elm St. 2

[@horaciosi]

It makes Brokeback Mountain look like Predator.

[@gilwood7530]

I gotta see the full length version .... Almost as good as GLITTER

[@AliasUndercover]

Ernest goes homoerotic.

[@Chipotleadvisory]

When I watched this I was pretty sure it was 9:22

[@trethestar]

Guy looks like Kaiden Aleko from Mass Effect.

[@brianfuller7691]

Lots of locker rooms, Mario Lopez, Jamie Pressley and Richard Grieco, check. Homoerotic undertones, check. Plot and writing, not very certain. It's a mess.

[@auntiea2002]

Grieko always had his shirt on Mario Lopez....

[@OpiateVictory]

Wow, it's like Steve Reeves directed a Full Metal Jacket rip-off.

[@scitechian]

It's like Victor Salva directed a Full Metal Jacket rip-off.

[@JamesSmith-vk2ky]

*John Waters. 😉😁

[@jetfire851]

That competitive tickling joke... is it possible that they're fans of The Dollop?

[@StanSwan]

Thank god for the hot blonde. That's all I got.

[@elafimilo8199]

He hates Yankees? Where's he from? He totally has a Northern accent.

[@Ken_Brooks]

OK, right out of the gate, the producers cast a guy named Lopez to play a guy named Murphy.

[@demonkingbadger6689]

To be fair, i had teacher in high school named Lopez that looked more like a Murphy.

[@franklefebver6866]

Redrum

[@EternalEris]

Richard Grieco trying to act more than in 21 jump street? :(

Some rich old “daddy” clearly wrote and funded this boring, pointless, excessively shirtless and oiled film.

[@danishhald]

How is this movie not porn lol.

[@shuttittuppitt9355]

Let's be honest. SOME of Rifftrax (& a handful of MST3K)'s stuff is NOT worth watching. (I'm talking about the quality of the source material, NOT the quality of the riffing.) Some TURDS just aren't WORTHY of being "polished" by the MST3K/Rifftrax riffing, & only deserve to be sentenced to death by obscurity. This is a PERFECT example. The ONLY 2 things that CLICK-BAITED me into watching it was "Rifftrax" in the name & Jaime Pressly.